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I take my hat off to the good people at Triple M radio who have been doing this 'No Talk Day' for four years. They give over a whole day of advertising revenue and play mostly music interspersed with some really good short encouragements to blokes to use the day to check in with themselves and/or a mate. The quieter day without ads blaring is meant to help blokes in particular talk about important stuff - to seek and find connection. 

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 A local business operator where I live told me last week that people buying things from him now routinely ask. "Is this from China?" as a part of their purchase conversation. When he says that the item does indeed come from China, they look for a similar product made somewhere else. Seems like a lot of us are very aware of what is going on and are feeling a bit put out. We might even be starting to edge in on that 'pay back' or at least 'protest' when it comes to spending or hard earned cash.  

Fair enough. Things do seem strange. What a nation striving for super-power status is doing is unfair, even a little unjust. Noting new in a way. Someone once told me that "Superpowers don't have friends, they just have interests". To gain and maintain top spot, you have to control others, manipulate others in some way. All superpowers in history have done this. China is just the latest nation on the move in this way. There will be others as the world rolls on.  

So far, I haven't sensed that Aussies have really fired up and crossed the line from protest into the use of disparaging puts downs, shaming, or even violence against anyone who is of Chinese origin or descent. I really hope we can avoid that. It is one thing to be angry because of unjust treatment by another, it is another to do some unjust treatment in pay back. Protec is healthy and needed. Hatred, racism and any for of violence just hurt ..... endlessly.  

As summer comes and we hear that Cricket song, C'mon Aussie, C'mon", I want to apply that to keeping our cool, letting the polly's try their best to calm the situation and avoid any hint of unjust racist taunt of others. "C'mon, Aussie, C'mon, C'mon. Keep your cool, be patient and generous with your words. Protest, for sure, but leave out the hatred or payback. I hope I can rise above.  

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“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” (Charles Dickens, Take of Two Cities)

Seems to me that this is always how life is - best and worst always together, or at least not very far apart.  

No different this year. It has been a long journey of many short sharp bursts between the two, like a roller coaster dipping down and soring up over and over again. Pretty exhausting. Pretty exhilarating in some ways too.  

The dip comes and you spring into action. Health workers, public servants, Police, Politicians, educators, age care facility managers and staff, church leaders and staff.... Like a SWAT team attending an emergency.  

Then some soaring out of the latest dip. Heading for blue skies and personal freedoms; pressure off. A glimpse of what used to be.  

And then it all starts again with the latest cluster danger.  

Great wisdom and really stupid behaviour and words - all at the same time.  

People with deepening faith in the presence and plan of God and plenty given one more reason to dismiss that belief.  

Light for us in the southern hemisphere summer and darkness for fellow humans in the norther winter. Will it reverse come our winter? We enjoy our 'Spring of hope" and hope we don't have to go through a 'winter of despair".  

Dickens goes on... 

"....we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only". 

Dicken's really got the conflict we know. You can only compare the opposing things, not resolve them.  

For him, this conflict was at one level the observation of life in his time that had radical opposites between France and UK during the French Revolution.  

But under that it tells of just life in general all the time for all of us. He  points out the major conflict between family and love, hatred and oppression, good and evil, light and darkness, and wisdom and folly that we all experience in varying degrees.  

As he begins his famous "Tale of Two Cities" (Paris and London) he starts with a vision of life in which our human prosperity does not automatically cancel out human despair.  

Living in a wealthy country of Australia, and seeing the world's most wealthy country (the USA) being undone by a pandemic certainly bears this reality out.  

I wonder where you go in all of this. You could just become a cynic. Just dismiss it all and meaningless. You could become very competitive - get on with looking after yourself because no one else will.  

I reckon there is another place to go and it not me or you. There is a Holy Other. I go to the presence and plan of this One. Where do you go?

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Christmas seems to tap into some deep heart-felt vision for life we all want. Most people who celebrate Christmas in Australia have no living connection to the community from which it comes. People of all faiths or no faith seem to find some connection to what Christmas has now become. It is no longer a specifically Christian festival of faith. Hasn't been for a generation or two. And yet, we seem to resonate with it as some kind of 'connection' time where we remember what's important in life and who is important in life.  

So, after a year like this COVID year, I wonder what people will do this Christmas - really chase it, make it bigger than it normally is, pull out all the stops, go hard and put in the big effort in terms of food and trees and gifts and holidays family time or the opposite: stay fairly self-contained, take a minimalistic approach, just have a few people around, don't travel much, keep things a bit low key because we are used to that now.  

Not surer what you are doing? Of course, for a lot of people, Christmas is not fun at all. There is deep conflict in the family. A loved one is no longer around to enjoy the season with. There never has been a partner around to share it with and so, it is quite lonely and blue.  

At least in Australia and New Zealand we can celebrate Christmas sort of normally. I am thinking about the millions of people in the norther hemisphere winter who are right back into lock down, overflowing hospitals, people dying and living in tight restrictions. We will pause for a moment to remember them this Christmas. I heard that even the famous Christmas markets across Germany will be closed from 10 days before Christmas. This last happened in the WWII years.  

Whatever you Christmas looks like, big or small, many or few, all stops out or in a slightly minor key, it is still Christmas and the original story speaks hope into our troubles and love into our relationships.  

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I straddled my first motorcycle and found the thrill of riding a two wheeled mode of transport at some age under 10. But it was not until I had reached the mature age of 11 that I had the thrill of that first ride on my own bike. My mum and sister and brother-in-law had organised my first steed. It was a Suzuki TC 90 Blazer. This was an already a 7 year old power-packed 90cc ag bike.  

Of course, I did not treat it like a sedate ag bike made for farm work. For me it was a way to be the crazy daring stunt rider, Evel Keneval, or the very cool a suave, Steve McQueen. That thing got hammered. One of its flaws was that the exhaust pipe was just under the seat. I cant count how many times I came in with a burn wound stinging like heck after another dare-devil stunt ride out in the paddock! 

Riding bikes started there and have never really stopped. I have ridden ten or thousands of kilometres across Australia. Mostly alone but in ore recent years with my best mates.  

When legal at 17 years old, I rode a flash Yamaha RD 250. It was a two stroke. Nothing much happened before 5000 revs but when you hit that power ban, you were off at the speed of light. Not all that easy to ride round the city. But a lot of fun. And a bit expensive in terms of speeding fines! 

In my 20's and 30's I rose to higher places in riding Japanese big bore bikes. The biggest and best was a Suzuki GSX 1150. Big bike, Big power and big miles.  

Sometimes over the years, I have not had a bike. Being a student again for five years, having four little children with my lovely wife and moving across state borders and across 'The Ditch' to NZ and back tended to make riding bikes a bit of challenge! 

Over the last 15 years, I eventually got back into the bigger bore bikes. It was a great few years with a Yamaha 900cc diversion sports/tourer - more tourer that sport! It was a sedate bike but an extremely versatile bike. Riding through the Pilbara in WA was a highlight. The beautiful South West of this continent is up there too.  

Then I made the big switch to a big bore cruiser style bike. The Triumph Thunderbird 1600cc has been a sheer delight to ride. Big power, lots of chrome, time with mates and effortless riding. That bike has taken me across SA, up to the Centre, all over Victoria, into the ACT and over the Hay Plains to Sydney and once to the famous Bathurst 1000 - all with good mates sharing the journey.  

Why do I persist in riding bikes? First of all, my mates would give me curry if I ever bailed out on them! But more importantly, riding is good for me.  

When you are on a bike, you are just another bloke. In my work with its public profile, it is a delight to be anonymous. Then there is the connection to the country in which you are riding. You are subject to the wind, the heat, the cold, the fall of the road, the sights and the sounds of the place in which you find yourself, more than you can be in a car.  

Ted Simons is famous in motorbike circles. He was one of the first people to do epic riding. He rode around the word on a Triumph back in the 70's. He says that travelling by bike puts you more in touch with the environment through which you travel. I agree.  

Charlie Boorman and Ewan McGregor are Ted's successors in the media. They would say that travelling by bike somehow opens up the local community to you in a different way than if you were just breezing through their town on a car. They know you are more vulnerable and so, more in need of support and hospitality.  

You have to deal with stuff. If it is cold, if

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I spent some years working in a community that had a high percentage of fly in-fly out mining workers. Mainly the men would be earning huge money in mining but had to be away 2 weeks and back home 1 week. Many of them had young children. For some, the fly-in, fly-out rhythm worked OK. For a lot of others, it did not.  

At school, we would notice very lonely children, or kids just needing a mentor, a role model; their dad. We saw marriages dying. People were still living together in great houses and driving great cars and viewing really large TV's! but really struggling to cope with the huge time apart in all kinds of ways.  

That is when I would hear this line - "We are doing this for the kids". Sometime I would ask what people thought they were actually doing for their kids? They would say things like, "We are getting ahead to pay off our mortgage so the kids can have a private school education so they get a good job and make lots of money and have a good life".  

Hmmmm. I get the good education thing. But I am not sure about the money and the 'good job" and how this automatically makes people happy - whatever 'happy' is. And who is this really for - the kids or the adults? Often seemed to be the adults meeting their goals and needs at the expense of the kids, even with the false belief that it wasn't.  

What I have learnt as a father of four kids is that kids need education, but they need the presence and the patience and the care and love of their parents even more than school. They certainly need time with mum and dad than a better Xbox or Play Station. They might not believe that at times, but experience shows this is true over time. Time and conversation and fun with mum and dad is way more crucial to their long term well-being and success in life than a their parents healthy bank balance, flash house or cool car. 

Problem is, I know, that as a parents, everything is important. Work is important for more reasons than the money. You do need a reliable car. You do need to save some money. You need somewhere t live and you need to pay childcare and school fees. But I guess the trick is attending to all these important things WITHOUT giving up the very needed thing of quality and quantity time with your kids.  

Quantity time is quality time. Hanging around not doing much in particular is just as valuable as gearing up for a huge holiday effort with the kids where you climb a mountain, run the dirt bikes, kit out the 4WD, do a high ropes course and pretend to be Bear Grylls! Nothing wrong with going for a slow walk on the beach hunting for cool shells or playing Monopoly. Quality time is quantity time. Kids need the time, not the gear or the adult pursuits as much as you think.  

But there is one other very serious place I have heard this line used by a parent. It is said as way of living in the pain of a marriage on the rocks. We are staying together for the kids. Soon as they are old enough we will part company". Woah. That is tough and it is everywhere. The question I have found myself asking a struggling dad or mum in this kind of struggle is, "What is better for your children: to grow up in a loveless or maybe even overly critical and sometime angry and disrespectful home as you 'do this for the kids" or to live with one dad or mum who is a much happier parent and visit the other much more at peace parent?  

I suspect the second option might actually be the better option of we are 'doing this for the kids". Not always. We always want to give marriage the best shot we can and try hard to find true reconciliation and peace. The best gift we can give our kids is not more toys or screens or an A grade

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Working with couples of all kinds, first time married, previously divorced, long term or shorter term relationships, with kids already or not, makes me think about marriage and how it is in my own life.  

I have been married for 33 years. We have raised four children. It has been a great journey with plenty of highs and lows, but so far, always a deep respect and love for each other.  

Here's what I have learnt about marriage:

It ain't Hollywood! Marriage is not based on perfect bodies, stunning looks or great sex. Marriage is based on friendship, loyalty, commitment, forgiveness and compromise. Not very 'sexy', but THE crucial elements. Marriage is actually about partnership for living life and facing challenges.  

My goal as a married person is not primarily to get MY needs met by my partner, be they financial, emotional or sexual.  If I constantly put that huge expectation on my partner, she will not be able to meet my needs identity, fulfilment, happiness and well-being all the time in every way. No partner is that good! 

My goal in marriage is not to get MY needs met, but to stand shoulder to shoulder with my partner and face life together as I give of myself, sometimes at cost to myself. EG. Think of those vows…

• "In sickness and in health" are there for a reason. When your partner is sick, you step up.  We have both been sick at times. You give up your needs to tend to your partner. 
• "For richer, for poorer" - when money is tight, you go without so your partner can do something or enjoy something. At times we have been under financial pressure because of the cost of a significant professional development experience that one of us enjoyed and needed. 

The goal of marriage is not to get your identity a self-fulfillment needs met from your partner, but to give up your own needs for them and their fulfillment as you're able. Great thing is, that when you adopt this stance, you receive more than you give! You tend to enjoy closeness and partnership - the very thing we got married for! 

You never stop needing to know your partner. There is no once-off course for marriage, that once complete, means you can stop listening and learning. This is because you are constantly changing and so is your partner. We are still getting to know each other after 30 years because we have changed in everyone of those years - we ourselves as individuals and we as a couple. We are older. Our outlook on lots of things has changed. We have aged. We are different to when we were 30. Life has happened - the good and the bad.  

Jobs have changed, locations have changed, the kids constantly change as they have become adults, the world has changed, technology has changed and etc, etc. I need to always listen and learn my partner so I can love and give and we can truly live.  

It takes effort and real intent. Funny how lots of people think that once you tie the knot, 'marriage' will l just happen - with hardly any effort or thought or giving to each other. I have often said to couples trying to get their life in order and make some money, by a house, have some kids, buy a good car, set themselves up that if they put as much effort into making sure their marriage relationship was getting a good set up, all the rest will be a whole lot better anyway. Reading a book, watching some YouTube videos, talking to friend and mentors and talking to each other about marriage and its meaning and goals and place in life is

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It was two individuals at their base level throwing shaming names at each other mostly over the top of each other at the same time. It was a public words war that was centred not on any policy but on the person. They played the man instead of the ball in this game. 

 One Aussie journalist put it this way:

The rancour engulfing America swamped the first Trump-Biden debate. This was a spiteful, chaotic, abusive, often out-of-control brawling encounter with both candidates revealing their contempt for each other.(Paul Kelly, senior journalist, The Australian, 30/09/2020 

I guess we all knew it would be like this. This quite violent and divisive kind of talk has been like this on our nightly news and online news feeds for ages. But like when you know an event is going to be pretty uninspiring, it is still a bit of shock when it so uninspiring that it actually is disturbing. I think a lot of us feeling that - disturbed.   

So many question from those of us who do not live in the US and are not American citizens. The event (I won’t call it a debate because it was not and was never going to be), seemed to be a concentrated up close look at what seems to be a ever-deepening divide in the US.  

Paul Kelly again; 

On display was the reckless deterioration of American political life and the collapse of respect for civic life. Donald Trump and Joe Biden could barely tolerate each other exposing the raw hostility that plagues America today. There is one certainty from this debate – the Trump and Biden partisans will claim vindication and the divisions in America will only deepen. 

I know some American folks and I love them. They are great people and I call them friends. I have Americans in my extended family, and I am happy about that too. I have been to the US three times over the last 30 years and loved it all three times. But I don’t like this deep division that seems to be deepening for them. I fear for the good old US of A. I bet you my friends and family do too.  

Is this the road to the end for a superpower? I hear historians hinting at such. This is the end of the Pax Americana (the Peace of America), I sometime hear.  

Ancient Rome was the world's most dominant and influential  superpower for the longest time, but even it, the great Pax Romana (The Peace of Rome), came to its end. Some say Rome just got bored, so uninspired. Rome lost the will to forge a new way ahead, to build, to improve, to serve….. Rome just gave in to petty politics and hate-filled conversation and basically collapsed, not from a strong outside force destroying it, but it destroying itself from within - like cancer to the human body.  

I have not lived long enough and am not wise enough to really know what will become of the US and those of us who are closely related to it; other developed Western countries like Australia. I guess we will see in time - for better or for worse.  

What are we supposed to do as this all plays out? Turn off the screen and ignore it as we all roll our eyes in cynical disappointment at these two guys? Do we just throw a few stones ourselves by belittling these men and their country. Do we get so enraged by it that we buy take a side and pass out the ammo for some more hate filled words? 

None of these response to our disturbance seems very helpful.  

As a person of faith in a gracious God of all nations, I will commend them and us and everyone else to

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Greg Sheridan wrote a piece in the Weekend Australian that was a summary of a new book. The book is written by a guy named Ross Douthat. It is called, The Decadent Society, How we became victims of our own success.  

His opinion goes like this:The West, is caught in the slowly suffocating grip of a decadence we do not understand. We have been in this grip for 50 years. 

By 'decadent' he doesn’t mean too much drugs, sex and rock 'n' roll. Decadence is sort of being at a dead end. It is “economic stagnation, institutional decay, and cultural and intellectual exhaustion at a high level of material prosperity and technological development”. 

That is us. We live in a very high level of material prosperity and technological development. Are we stagnated, decaying and exhausted? Maybe.  

Douthat says that the huge changes in post WWII society, then the massive shifts in the 1960s have never been resolved. We have been left with a certain aimlessness even though we have never had it so good. In the 60's we got fired up about being on the moon, but that in the end has not amounted to much. Neither has all the advances in technology. Politics has declined into permanent gridlock. 

Douthat quotes the French writer, Jacques Barzun, who says that this decadence: “Sees no clear lines of advance. Life seem exhausted; the stages of development have been run through. Institutions function painfully. Repetition and frustration are the intolerable result. Boredom and fatigue are great historical forces … When people accept futility and the absurd as normal, the culture is decadent.” 

I do wonder whether we do indeed accept futility and the absurd as normal. News seems so trivial. Why do I listen to a story about someone in Poland who I will never know getting a pet cat out of the tree and then the number of people who died today from coronavirus in my country and just receive this so called 'news' as of the same weight, or even worse, of no particular meaning? Social media is worse when it comes to totally disconnected stories that makes everything trivlal - both the trivial things themselves but also the really important things.   

What about all our technology. Has it really done much good? Douthat reckons the one great technological innovation of our age is the internet; the digital universe. The biggest effect of the digital world has been on our minds and personalities. It might not rule our lives as much as past inventions like the light bulb and the steam train and car have ruled, but in entertainment and addiction digital technology reigns supreme. It has had negative effects on the human personality. 

For EG, Douthat is a critic and opponent of pornography. It is dehumanising in every way. This and other aspects of digital technology have ended up having a tranquillising effect on the human psyche. 

EG. Sheridan says that this industrial-level porn has produced alienation and depression. Younger people are linking up and forming long term partnerships, whether marriages or stable de facto relationships, less than ever before. And they are having less sex. The sexual revolution of the 1960s, and the accompanying spread of porn, has apparently resulted in less sex and fewer marriages. 

This is one of the factors contributing to very low birth rates. Suicides, social isolation, drug overdoses, alcoholism and obesity have been on the rise. Apparently, young people today are the most medicated generation in human history. And disproportionately they are al

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