Restored: Helping Children of Divorce

View details for Healing Retreat May 1-3 in Philly

When Not to Listen to Your Parents About Love | 3 Callers from Broken Families #173

Thu, 23 Apr 2026 03:00:00 -0600

In this episode, I mentor three people LIVE through the problems they’re facing in their broken families:

One caller asks how to deal with a dad who avoids the reality of his divorce, and whether it’s his place to confront him or let that battle go.
Another asks a question people are afraid to say out loud: Can I actually heal? And if so, how does healing really happen?
And finally, a young woman opens up about starting her first relationship while watching her divorced parents repeat unhealthy patterns, and asks, “Who do I go to for relationship advice when my parents haven’t modeled a healthy relationship themselves?”

If you’ve ever felt torn, stuck, or unsure how to navigate the pain and dysfunction of your broken family, this episode is for you.

Ask a question anonymously on the show

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You’re the Third Parent: How to Break Free Without Hurting Your Siblings | Celeste: #172

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0600

At 14 or 15 years old, Celeste learned her parents’ marriage was unraveling.

Affairs.
Addiction.
Secrets.

Her siblings didn’t know.

But she did — because she was the oldest daughter.

And before long, she wasn’t just watching the marriage fall apart… she was managing it.

In this episode, Celeste shares what it was like to grow up as the “third parent” in a family where divorce was unthinkable — and what that responsibility did to her nervous system, her faith, and her ability to trust.

We talk about:

Carrying secrets to protect the family’s image
Panic attacks and anxiety that she didn’t know how to name
The guilt of moving away and “leaving siblings in a burning building”
Why even a “necessary” divorce still deeply wounds children
And why dating now triggers intense anxiety

Celeste’s story is honest, raw, and hopeful. Because while you can survive being the third parent… At some point, you have to stop carrying everyone else.

If you were the responsible one…
If you feel guilty for wanting your own life…
If anxiety follows you into relationships…
Or if you’re afraid you’ll repeat your parents’ marriage…

This episode is for you.

Suicide Hotline: Call or Text 988 (English or Spanish)

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Recommend a therapist here!

You’re Invited: A Healing Retreat May 1-3 in Philadelphia

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 09:00:00 -0600

We’re hosting a rare healing retreat for young adults from divorced or dysfunctional families May 1-3 in Malvern, PA, just outside Philadelphia. View details or sign up at RestoredMinistry.com/philly.

Questions? Email JordanaM@restoredministry.com

Recommend Your Therapist to Our Community

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 08:00:00 -0600

Recommend a Therapist

You’re rare: you found a therapist who massively helped you heal and grow.

Most people from broken families never get that. They want help but don’t know who to trust, so they stay stuck.

We’re changing that by building a small, trusted list of exceptional therapists. In this short episode, you’ll hear how you can help.

You don’t need to volunteer or donate. Just spend a few minutes recommending your therapist so someone like you can finally get the help they deserve.

Low Confidence? Here’s How to Build It | Dr. Nicole Gabana Chiesa: #171

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0600

If you grew up in a broken or divorced family, struggling with confidence isn’t random.

Research has consistently shown that children of divorce are more likely to experience lower self-esteem, higher anxiety, and greater insecurity in relationships. When love feels unstable or conditional early on, it shapes how you handle pressure later in life.

You might:

Overthink conversations
Freeze in high-pressure moments
Feel like you have to perform to be loved
Or believe everyone else is just naturally more confident

In this episode, licensed psychologist and Certified Mental Performance Consultant Dr. Nicole Gabana Chiesa breaks down what confidence actually is — and why it’s not personality.

We explore:

The subtle belief that makes confidence collapse when you fail
What’s happening in your brain when anxiety spikes
Why hyper-focusing on yourself increases insecurity
How to stop just listening to your thoughts — and start talking back
And why confidence is built through imperfect reps, not feelings

If your family didn’t model emotional stability, healthy conflict, or secure love… this episode gives you a roadmap.

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build. And you can build it.

Visit Dr. Nicole’s Website

Book a FREE Consult: (904) 624-1331 or paxperform@gmail.com

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Your Advice Needed: A NEW Solution for People from Broken Families

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 10:00:00 -0600

If you grew up in a divorced or really dysfunctional family, this is for you.

I’m working on a new 6‑week program for people like us, but before we build anything, I want your honest input and advice. In this short episode, I’ll share the idea, who it’s for, and how you can help shape it.

It’s quick, and your feedback will directly impact whether this happens and what it looks like.

Listen in, check out the page where you can join the waitlist: https://hi.switchy.io/sY0h

Money Stress in a Broken Family Forces You to Grow Up | Liz: #170

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0600

What if your anxiety about money didn’t start in adulthood, but in your dysfunctional family during childhood?

Growing up with financial instability doesn’t just affect your bank account. It can train your nervous system to live in survival mode — forcing you to grow up too fast and quietly shaping how you date, marry, and handle responsibility.

In this episode, pediatric cardiac ICU physician Liz shares her story of financial chaos, parentification, and how that hyper-responsibility followed her into adulthood and marriage.

We cover:

How money stress creates “parentified” kids
Why responsibility can feel like survival
How financial trauma affects relationships

If you grew up worrying about money, feel responsible for everyone, or struggle to rest — this episode is for you.

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

FREE Video Series: Dating 101

Dating is a Mess: A NEW Way to Meet High Quality, Virtuous People | Emily Wilson Hussem: #169

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 06:00:00 -0700

Dating today feels exhausting. Confusing. And for people from divorced or dysfunctional families, it can feel even heavier — because one wrong choice doesn’t just mean heartbreak… it can feel like repeating your parents’ story.

In this episode, Joey sits down with Emily Wilson, Catholic author and co-founder of Sacred Spark, to talk about the most important factor in building a healthy marriage: choosing the right person — and why modern dating culture makes that decision harder than ever.

Emily shares what she’s learned from helping nearly 20 couples get married through her viral matchmaking posts, why you can’t “analyze” your way into certainty, and how real discernment only happens when you actually meet people in real life.

In this episode, we cover:

Why choosing who you marry matters more than anything else
The fear of repeating your parents’ mistakes (and how to move past it)
How real discernment happens through in-person dating
A NEW way to meet high quality, virtuous people

If you’re single, want marriage, but feel anxious, stuck, or afraid of choosing wrong — this episode is for you.

Download Sacred Spark

Visit SacredSpark.app

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Access the Family Digital Wellness Activity

Your Phone Might Be Blocking Your Healing (Here’s the Plan) | Christen Routh: #168

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0700

Most people think screen time is a harmless habit. But what if it’s quietly training your brain against healing?

In this conversation, Christen Routh explains why doomscrolling feels like relief but often leaves you more anxious, more numb, and more alone. We talk about the real danger of screens, not just what they show you, but what they replace: real friendship, real presence, real growth. And we get practical about what to do instead, without going off-grid.

In this episode, we cover:

Why screen overuse can mimic an addiction cycle and keep you stuck in escape mode
How doomscrolling can increase loneliness through comparison and emotional crash
How algorithms quietly shape your standards for love, friendship, and boundaries
How to build a tech plan that makes your phone a tool again, not your master

Contact Christen

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Why You’re Not Healthier: The Real Fix Nobody Talks About | Brandon Hall: #167

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0700

Most people don’t have a knowledge problem when it comes to wellness. They have a consistency problem. You already know the basics, but when stress hits, you fall off and you start chasing the next hack, app, plan, podcast, or supplement.

In this episode, Brandon Hall (CatholicWell) explains why the real battle is willpower, how stress and trauma can train your brain to live on high alert, and why the most underrated wellness practice is going inward. Stillness, self-awareness, prayer, Scripture, and simple daily habits that actually stick.

In this conversation, we talk about:

Why you keep starting strong, then falling off
How stress and trauma can rewire your brain, and how neuroplasticity means you can rewire it back
Simple nervous system tools (like breathing) that calm you fast
Why wellbeing is not just self-care, it’s self-gift and love

Visit CatholicWell.com

Kristen Holmes: Modern Society's Biggest Sleep Problem REVEALED | TUH #125

Ask a question anonymously on the show

“My Mom Overshares and Relies on Me Too Much. What Do I Do?” | Live Call In: #166

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 10:00:00 -0700

In this episode, I’ll mentor three people LIVE through real-life situations that people like us from broken families face:

A separated mom with adult kids asks: How do I support my kids through the fallout without pushing them, guilt-tripping them, or putting them in the middle?
A man, wounded by his parents’ divorce and his struggles with alcoholism, asks: Is it actually worth digging up the past to heal, and can writing really help?
A young woman, whose parents’ divorce has dragged on for five years, has moved back in with her mom, who overshares a lot. She asks: How do I set boundaries with my mom and navigate my relationship with my dad?

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Contact or Schedule a FREE Consult with Dakota

How to Heal the Physical Cost of Your Parents’ Divorce | Dakota Lane: #165

Wed, 07 Jan 2026 13:00:00 -0700

You might be “over” your parents’ divorce.

But your body might not be.

If you grew up in a divorced or dysfunctional home, chronic stress can get stored in your nervous system — quietly shaping your sleep, energy, digestion, hormones, and mental health years later.

In this episode, I talk with Dakota Lane about how stress doesn’t just affect your emotions. It can literally rewire your body and keep you stuck in survival mode long after the chaos ends.

In this conversation, we cover:

Why your body remembers what your mind moved past
How chronic stress disrupts sleep, gut health, hormones, and energy
The link between family dysfunction, inflammation, and burnout
Why doing “more” can make stress and health issues worse
Practical ways to calm your nervous system and restore your body

If you’re exhausted, anxious, on edge, or wondering why your body feels stuck — especially if you grew up in a broken family — this episode is for you.

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Best of 2025 | Restored Podcast Highlights: #164

Fri, 26 Dec 2025 09:00:00 -0700

If you come from a divorced or dysfunctional family, this show is for you. We mentor you through the pain and help you heal, so you can avoid repeating your family’s dysfunction and instead build strong, healthy relationships.

In this episode, you'll hear highlight clips from the podcast in 2025.

If you’re new to the podcast, welcome! This is the perfect way to sample the podcast and learn how it will help you. If you’re a longtime listener, this is the perfect episode to share with someone you know who needs to hear it.

Get the Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

Episodes featured:

Visit RestorativeCatholic.com

How to Heal Your Nervous System Impacted by Your Parents' Divorce | Sr. Mary Stephen: #163

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 07:00:00 -0700

Growing up with divorced parents or a dysfunctional family does not just shape your childhood. It shapes your nervous system. Many young people from broken homes live with chronic anxiety, shutdown, emotional overwhelm, or conflict avoidance without ever knowing why.

In this episode, Sr. Mary Stephen explains how childhood chaos trains your brain and body to stay on high alert and how to finally regulate your emotions instead of feeling controlled by them. You will learn simple, practical tools to calm your nervous system, process stored trauma, build internal safety, and integrate all of this with your spiritual life.

In this episode:

Why your body still reacts like your parents are fighting
How trauma gets stored in the nervous system
Fight, flight, freeze, and shutdown explained
Why talk therapy is not enough for many children of divorce
Somatic exercises you can start using today
How to feel safe, grounded, and present again

If you’re tired of feeling anxious, reactive, or stuck because of your family’s dysfunction, this episode is for you.

Get the Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Buy the Book: Salvation Stories: Family, Failure, and God’s Saving Work in Scripture

The Bible’s Messiest Families & What They Reveal About Yours | Deacon Ryan Budd: #162

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 03:00:00 -0700

So many young people from divorced or dysfunctional families assume their story is unique — or worse, that they’re destined to repeat the same patterns. But the truth is, family brokenness is far more common than anyone talks about. And God has been dealing with messy family dynamics since the beginning of time.

In this episode, Deacon Ryan Budd, who served as Dr. Scott Hahn’s research assistant, reveals how the Bible is full of families just as complicated, chaotic, and wounded as ours. He explains why God doesn’t simply “fix” things instantly, how healing actually unfolds, and what Scripture shows us about breaking cycles and building something new.

We cover:

Why broken families are more common than you think
The surprising dysfunction hidden in biblical stories
How God works through pain instead of erasing it
David’s family drama — and what it shows us about redemption
Practical steps to begin healing and avoid repeating the past

If you’ve ever feared that your future family is doomed by your past, or you’re searching for hope in the mess you come from, this episode is for you.

Get the Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Visit CatholicinRecovery.com

His Parents Divorce Led Him to Alcoholism: Here's How He Broke Free | Scott Weeman: #161

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 08:00:00 -0700

What if your parents’ divorce, or the chaos you grew up in, didn’t just hurt you emotionally but actually wired you to seek relief through addiction?

This might explain why you feel unsafe for no reason, why you keep numbing out when life gets hard, or why you crave control but end up stuck in the same self-destructive cycles.

In this episode, we explore the deep connection between addiction and family dysfunction, especially how growing up in a chaotic or broken home can make substances, screens, or success feel like your only safe place.

My guest is Scott Weeman. He began drinking at 15. By 21, he was spiraling, binge drinking, hiding vodka bottles, waking up in jail, and living a double life.

Today, he’s an author and the founder of Catholic in Recovery, helping thousands find freedom from alcoholism, lust, and more.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this just who I am now?” or “Will I always feel stuck?” this episode is for you.

Get the Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

The Mentor Who Became the Father I Never Had | Brandon Allaman: #160

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 09:00:00 -0600

When your parents divorce, you almost always miss out on the mentorship and guidance that parents are meant to give their children about life, relationships, and so much more.

Without that kind of guidance, you feel lost, alone, and stuck - unsure what to do about it all.

But that’s where a mentor can be incredibly helpful and even healing.

In this episode, we dive into the power of mentorship: why it’s essential if you grew up without one or both parents, how to find the right mentor, and how those relationships can heal what was broken.

If you’ve ever wished someone older and wiser could show you the way, or wondered how to stop repeating your family’s dysfunction, this episode is for you.

Visit Brandon’s website

Listen to Episode #036: Healthy Relationships Are Impossible Without Boundaries

Listen to Episode #058: Forgiveness: The Secret to Healing and Freedom | Fr. John Burns

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Get the Book: Healing the Family Tree

Get the Book: Never Finished

Get the Book: Searching for and Maintaining Peace

Get the Book: How to Win Friends & Influence People

Ask a question anonymously on the show

“Should I Ask My Divorced Parents for Relationship Advice?” Live Call In! | 159

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 09:00:00 -0600

To serve you better, we’re trying something new.

In this episode, I’ll mentor three people live, right here on the show.

Each of them brings a raw, honest question—things most of us from broken families have wrestled with.

A college student asks how to heal from his dad’s abandonment—and whether he should leave the door open for a relationship or finally close it.
A man wonders how he can help young people from broken homes.
And finally, a woman in her 20s opens up about concerns with her mom’s second marriage, and asks, “Who do I go to now for advice, now that I’m in a relationship myself?”

If you’ve ever felt alone or unsure what to do when faced with problems in your broken family… this episode is for you.

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Get Kaseena’s Course, F*** Divorce

Breaking the Cycle of Divorce in Your Marriage | Kaseena Birnbaum | 158

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 10:00:00 -0600

What if divorce didn’t just break your childhood—it rewired how you see love and marriage?

Most people think divorce only affects the couple who splits. But the truth is, when you grow up watching marriage after marriage fall apart, you start to believe that brokenness is normal.

That was Kaseena Birnbaum’s story. With six divorces between her parents and in-laws, she once assumed she’d rack up divorces too. But when her own marriage hit a breaking point, she chose a different path: radical honesty, mentorship, and personal responsibility.

Today, she and her husband are thriving—sober, faith-filled, and raising a strong family.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

Why children of divorce often fear marriage or expect dysfunction
The subtle patterns that keep couples stuck in cycles of brokenness
The turning points that transformed Kaseena’s marriage
How humility, responsibility, and faith can rebuild trust and intimacy

If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I doomed to repeat my parents’ mistakes?”—this episode is for you.

Follow Kaseena: Instagram or TikTok

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#157: The Lie Every Child of Divorce Secretly Believes | Jim Havens

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0600

What if your parents’ divorce didn’t just split your family—but left you quietly carrying the blame?

Most people think the hardest part of divorce is the day it happens. But often it’s the confusion, the pressure to act like everything’s fine, and the haunting thought: “Was it my fault?”

In this episode, Jim Havens shares his journey of growing up in a broken family, spiraling into destructive choices, and the night everything changed. That turning point led him to healing, faith, freedom, and eventually to becoming a husband, father of six, and Catholic radio host.

We talk about:

Why “just move on” might be the most damaging advice you can get
The moment Jim realized he wasn’t as “fine” as he thought
What one lonely night revealed—and how it changed everything

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Was it my fault my parents split up?” or wondered if you can truly build the marriage you long for, this conversation is for you.

Visit Catholic Family Men

Visit Jim’s Website

Read the Article: Is masturbation harmful? by Jason Evert

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#156: “This Is Not the Marriage I Signed Up For” | Heather Khym

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -0600

Heather thought her family life was normal. But over time, she uncovered two buried traumas that quietly shaped her childhood—and required deep healing.

Years later, as a newlywed, another wound came to light: her husband’s secret porn addiction. It shattered her—but it also became the turning point for restoration. Heather now calls it both the worst day and the best day of her life.

In this episode, we dive into:

Why she didn’t leave, and the non-negotiable conditions she set to even consider staying
Her advice for women facing the same gut-wrenching discovery, and for young people who just found out about a parent's addiction or affair
Her biggest lesson for anyone from a dysfunctional family—and the practical steps she recommends to start healing

If you’ve ever found yourself wounded or betrayed, wondering if healing and restoration is possible, this episode is for you.

Listen to Abiding Together

Visit Heather’s Website

Listen to Restore the Glory

Listen to the Healing Sexual Brokenness Series

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Buy Dr. Brad’s Book: Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization

#155: Am I Doomed to Repeat My Parents’ Divorce? | Dr. Brad Wilcox

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 08:00:00 -0600

Am I doomed to repeat the mistakes I saw in my parents’ marriage? That question made me afraid of love—especially when I started dating. At times, it even made me not want to get married at all. And now, even as a married man, that fear still shows up.

If you come from a divorced or deeply dysfunctional family, you probably feel it too.

The question I kept asking: How do I avoid that? How do I not get divorced? And more importantly, how do I build a strong marriage?

That’s what we explore in this episode, plus:

Are children of divorce actually doomed to fail at marriage—or is there real hope?
5 surprising predictors of whether your marriage will last—including one tip that lowers your divorce risk by 25%
The truth behind the “soulmate” myth—and what actually makes couples happy
Why staying single might not be the safe bet you think it is

If you’ve ever felt afraid of love or marriage, this episode is for you.

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

#154: Should I Reconnect with My Estranged Parent? | Kreed Revere

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 08:00:00 -0600

For so many of us from divorced or dysfunctional families, the tension with our parents doesn’t just fade. It can grow into silence, distance, or even a total cutoff where we can become estranged from each other.

But what exactly is estrangement, why does it happen, and how can you rebuild an estranged relationship? In this episode, we discuss that and more:

The subtle ways parents (and children) unknowingly push each other away
Why grief is often buried beneath family conflict—and how to face it without getting stuck
When reconnection is wise—and when staying estranged might actually be safer

If you’re dealing with an estranged relationship, this episode is for you.

Visit Kreed’s website, TheEstrangedHeart.com

Get the Guide: 10 Tips to Help Someone Whose Parents Are Separating or Divorcing

#153: He Grew Up Without a Dad. Here’s What He Learned | Tommy

Tue, 15 Jul 2025 08:00:00 -0600

In many places, we’re facing an epidemic of fatherlessnes. Fatherlessness not only leaves an invisible mark but it also shapes how you view yourself, how you handle your emotions, and how you love in relationships. So are fatherless children doomed?

Not at all. In fact, Tommy shows how to compensate for what you didn’t receive from dad and how healing is within reach. In this episode, we also discuss:

His dad’s spiral into mental illness, homelessness—and why Tommy hasn’t seen him in over a decade
The hidden ways father hunger shows up in dating relationships, causing us to seek what we never received from the wrong people
The lies he carried for years: “I am alone” and “I have to earn love”—and the truth he found to break that grip

If you experienced any sort of fatherlessness, this episode is for you.

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Get Jack’s Course or FREE Class: RISE: Drawing Meaning from Suffering Through the Lens of St. John Paul II, Victor Frankl and Jesus

#152: The 3 Ways to Find Meaning in Suffering | Jack Beers

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -0600

So many of us from divorced or dysfunctional families never learned how to deal with pain and suffering in a healthy way. As a result, we usually either numb the pain or get stuck in bitterness.

But what if you could not only learn how to navigate pain in a healthy way, but actually draw meaning from your pain and emerge stronger? That’s what we discuss in this episode, plus:

The shocking diagnosis Jack received at 11—and how it rewired his entire future
Why suffering always pushes you into one of three paths (and how only one leads to freedom)
The 3 ways to find meaning in suffering and the obstacles that prevent it

If you’re suffering, perhaps because of your parents’ divorce or the breakdown of your family, this episode is for you.

Book a FREE Mentorship Session with Jack

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Get Joey’s Book or FREE chapters: It’s Not Your Fault

Jocko Willink "GOOD" (Viral Video)

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#151: Even Necessary Divorces Hurt | Brandy

Wed, 18 Jun 2025 07:00:00 -0600

When Brandy was only a few months old, her parents divorced due to her father’s alcoholism. From the outside, her story might seem like a “best case” scenario—she was raised by a courageous single mom and later a kind stepfather.

But underneath it all, she carried wounds no one could see. She believed perfection was the path to love. She feared becoming like the very people who hurt her. One wound even stayed buried for 20 years.

In this episode, we explore:

The shocking memory that resurfaced in adulthood—and what it revealed
Why her marriage should’ve failed statistically—and how she and her husband beat the odds
And what her mom did right that every divorced parent needs to hear

If you've ever felt pressure to be perfect, feared repeating your parents’ marriage, or kept wounds hidden, this episode is for you.

Episode 84: Angry at God? Why People from Broken Families Struggle Extra in Their Relationship with Him | Sr. Miriam James Heidland

Episode 39: The Anatomy of a Wound & How to Heal | Dr. Bob Schuchts, PhD

Listen to Kirsty’s podcast, Attachment Theory in Action

#150: Attachment Theory: What It Is and Why It Matters | Kirsty Nolan

Wed, 04 Jun 2025 07:00:00 -0600

What is attachment theory? How does your attachment style impact your relationships? As an expert in attachment theory, Kirsty Nolan joins us to discuss all of that, plus:

The four attachment styles
What happens when you have a secure attachment early in childhood, but later experience a rupture because of trauma, like your parents’ divorce
Tips on resolving conflict, specifically how to repair after a rupture

If you’re curious about attachment styles or just want a healthy relationship, this episode is for you.

Get help from Kirsty’s organization, Chaddock

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

#149: He Was His Parents’ Therapist Until It Broke Him | Cole

Thu, 22 May 2025 19:38:20 -0600

What happens when you become your parents’ emotional confidant—their therapist—during a divorce? At first, it might feel like you’re helping. But eventually, it backfires and might even break you. That’s what happened to Cole.

In this episode, we explore:

How he went through his parents’ separation twice—and how each one affected him differently
How he’s slowly rebuilding family relationships after stepping away to heal
Why even small decisions felt impossible—and how he learned to choose with confidence

If you’ve ever acted as your parents’ therapist—or felt crushed by their divorce or the chaos at home—this episode is for you.

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Why you should define your fears instead of your goals | Tim Ferriss | TED

#036: Healthy Relationships Are Impossible Without Boundaries

Celebrate Recovery Community

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#148: Why You're Anxious, Tired, & Sick—and What to Do About It | Jackie Mulligan

Tue, 06 May 2025 22:00:00 -0600

So many of us feel depleted and exhausted, yet we might not know why. This is especially true for those of us from divorced or broken families. Research shows that children of divorce typically have worse physical health and more emotional problems.

But thankfully, that doesn’t have to be your story. Going from depleted to healthy on every level is not only doable—but simpler than you think, according to my guest.

In this episode, we discuss:

9 often-overlooked pillars of health that could be sabotaging your wellness.
The top 4 areas of health where most people need to start.
Quick and simple tips you probably haven’t heard to feel and be your best.

If you’ve struggled with your health in any way or just desire to be healthier, this episode is for you.

Enroll in Reform Online

For 10% off, use code: RESTORED10 (valid until June 15, 2025) Comment end

Visit ReformWellness.co

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#147: From Athlete to Paralyzed: “It’s the Best Thing That’s Happened to Me” | AJ De La Rosa

Thu, 24 Apr 2025 04:54:15 -0600

AJ had a normal life as a college student-athlete. But one night, a violent car accident left AJ paralyzed from the waist down.

What started as 15 minutes of hell has transformed into what he calls “The best thing that’s happened to me.”

In this episode, you’ll hear:

The detailed story of the accident and the unexplainable emotions he experienced in the minutes after the accident
The two things that helped him cope and beat feeling like a perpetual victim
What AJ said to the driver of the vehicle and the miracles and transformations that have resulted from his injury

If you’ve endured trauma, a horrible injury, or you’re just going through an intense season of suffering, this episode is for you.

Follow AJ:

Instagram
TikTok
YouTube
Email: Ajoftherose@gmail.com

Buy JP’s Book: The Church's Strategic Move to Save Faith and Family in America

#146: 1/3 Less Marriages Today Are Making Us Lonely | JP De Gance

Sun, 13 Apr 2025 07:34:52 -0600

At the root of our culture’s many problems is the breakdown of marriages and families. My guest shares sobering statistics, such as that “there are 31% less marriages annually now than in the year 2000” and there are “65% less marriages now than in the year 1970.”

He says this is hugely contributing to the loneliness crisis today. Thankfully, there is a cure, which we discuss in this episode, plus:

How the lonelinest group of people at church aren’t the old
Encouragement for young people from broken families who fear love and marriage
What a healthy relationship looks like and how to build it, including the 5 stages of healthy relationships

If you’ve been affected by the breakdown of marriages and families, this episode is for you.

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide, The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide: The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

#145: Mother Wounds, “Parts Work” Therapy, & Healing from a Broken Family | Dr. Gerry Crete

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 04:34:51 -0600

Growing up, Dr. Gerry experienced deep turmoil at home. His father was abusive, and his parents’ marriage was full of conflict. When they eventually divorced, he felt like he lost both parents. Feeling alone, he became highly independent.

Thankfully, he found healing, and today he helps others heal as a therapist. In this episode, we discuss:

How Internal Family Systems (IFS) and “parts work” can help you heal emotional wounds and improve your relationships.
The way our parts interact with our significant other—and how to avoid choosing a spouse from a wounded part of you.
What a mother wound is and how it affects you
How movies like Inside Out, Encanto, and even Avengers’ movies illustrate “parts work” and the healing journey.

If you have perhaps sustained a mother wound or want to heal using Internal Family Systems, this episode is for you.

Buy Dr. Gerry’s Book: Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety through Healing Our Parts

View Dr. Gerry’s Team or schedule a FREE 15 min consult

Visit Souls & Hearts

View Restored's Resources

#144: The Secret to Not Repeating Your Family’s Dysfunction | Dr. Andrew Abela

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 04:00:00 -0600

So many of us from divorced or broken families fear repeating our parents' mistakes.

If you want to avoid that, one of the keys is building virtue.

But what is virtue? How do you build it? And what virtues might you acquire?

My guest today wrote Superhabits, an amazing new book on virtue. He answers those questions, plus:

How to override the unconscious bad habits we inherited in our families
One habit that could save your marriage before it starts and what virtues to look for in a potential spouse
Why virtue, not just therapy, is the key to healing family wounds

If you’re struggling with bad habits or you want to build good habits, this episode is for you.

Buy Book Super Habits by Dr. Andrew Abela

Grow Virtue app

#143: When Your Divorced Parent Dies: Grieving, Healing, & Closure | Ben

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 03:00:00 -0700

After a relapse into alcoholism, Ben’s mom left him, his family, and the country for years when he was just 5 years old. When she returned, he struggled in his relationship with her but placed proper boundaries and found some resolution. But his mom’s death in Ben’s late 20s brought new pain.

In this episode, you’ll hear his wild story, plus:

The resolution he experienced with his mom and an unexpected tactic that’s helped him heal after his mom’s death
The place of justice, mercy, and blame after your parents’ divorce
How he was skeptical of marriage and what taught him that a good family is possible

If you’re struggle in your relationship with mom or a parent died without you resolving things with them, this episode is for you.

Get Dakota’s FREE guide: The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

Email Ben: benjamin.pluta@focus.org

Support Ben

Schedule a Meeting with Restored’s Team

#142: How to Break the Cycle of Your Broken Family

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Has your parents’ divorce or broken family brought pain into your life? Do you fear repeating the cycle of dysfunction or divorce?

You’re not alone—millions face these often unspoken struggles: hidden wounds, emotional problems, broken relationships, and destructive habits. Thankfully, you’re not destined to repeat your family’s dysfunction.

In this episode, you’ll hear a breakout talk from the SEEK25 conference where you’ll discover the two keys to breaking that cycle and learn actionable tips to build healthy relationships.

About the Speaker:

Endorsed by Jason Evert and Dr. Bob Schuchts, Joey Pontarelli has spoken across the U.S. and internationally.

He is the author of the book “It’s Not Your Fault” and hosts the podcast, “Restored: Helping Children of Divorce,” which has helped thousands of young people.

He has been a guest on EWTN’s TV and radio shows, Dr. Bob Schuchts’s “Restore the Glory” podcast, Jason Evert’s “Lust is Boring” podcast, and Relevant Radio’s “The Drew Mariani Show.”

Joey is married to Brigid, and they love life with their two kids, Lucy and John Paul.

Get the Resources

Book a Talk

Visit Dylan’s website, RadicalLoveCommunity.com

#141: Good Can Come from Broken Situations | Dylan

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 10:00:00 -0700

At age 5, Dylan’s parents divorced. Visitation brought challenges, but he learned to appreciate the time it gave him with his dad, who really helped him grow. From that, he learned that good can come from broken situations.

In today’s episodes, we also discuss topics like:

How we need father figures, ideally our dads, in order to become men, find our strength, and learn what to do with it
The challenges and blessing of a stepfamily
How your value isn’t measured by your performance or exterior qualities

If you’re from a blended family, you’ve questioned your value, you’ve felt unwanted, or you’re missing a father figure in your life, this episode is for you.

Follow Dylan on Instagram, YouTube, or Facebook

Buy the Book: God's Little Kiddo

Dakota Lane Fitness: Schedule a FREE Consult

#140: Hardest Part of the Divorce: Seeing My Siblings Struggle | Anthony

Wed, 15 Jan 2025 15:00:00 -0700

The hardest part of your parents’ divorce or family breakdown is seeing the people you love suffer.

That was true for my guest today who happens to be my older brother, Anthony: Watching our siblings struggle was the hardest part for him.

In this episode, you’ll hear us compare stories about our parents’ divorce from our perspectives as siblings, plus:

How Anthony had a sense of, “This is not how things ought to be” and a little about how a family ought to be.
How he was automatically made the man of the house when he shouldn’t have been and the effects of that.
How healing is not a one-size-fits-all, the imperfections of certain types of therapy, and a new healing method that’s been effective for him.
To parents listening: Tips on discussing your divorce with your children without oversharing.

If your parents are divorced or struggling in their marriage and watching your siblings suffer has been hard for you, this episode is especially for you.

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide: The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

To request Anthony’s email address, email podcast@restoredministry.com

Get Paul J. Kim’s Course: A Catholic Guide to Adulting

#139: Dating or Marrying Someone from an Intact vs Broken Family | Paul & Maggie Kim

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -0700

So many of us from broken families end up dating or marrying someone from an intact family. But that presents challenges, which we discuss in this episode with an amazing married couple where one spouse comes from a broken family and the other is from an intact family. We also discuss questions like:

What did you fear about marriage? Maggie opens up about her fear of someone cheating on her.
How have you handled conflict and how has marriage brought you joy?
How do you choose the right person who won’t change after the wedding?

If you’re from a broken family dating or marrying someone from an intact family, or vice versa, this episode is for you.

Get 10% off with the code: RESTORED. If the code doesn’t work, please reach out to Paul’s team at pjkmusic.com.

Dakota Lane Fitness: Schedule a FREE Consult

Get Dakota’s FREE Guide: The Biggest Fitness Mistakes to Avoid

View Restored’s Resource

#138: The Best of 2024: Restored Podcast Highlights

Wed, 01 Jan 2025 17:00:00 -0700

If you come from a divorced or broken family, this show is for you. We help you heal your brokenness, navigate the challenges, and build healthy relationships, so you can break that cycle and build a better life. In this episode, you'll hear highlight clips from the podcast in 2024.

If you’re new to the podcast, this is the perfect way to sample our content and learn how it will help you. If you’re a longtime listener, this is the perfect episode to share with someone you know who needs to hear it.

Get the Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

Episodes featured:

#137: You’re Not Doomed to Get Divorced | Samantha

Wed, 04 Dec 2024 05:00:00 -0700

If you come from a divorced family, research says you’re more likely to get divorced. But does that mean you’re doomed to that fate? My guest today says a resounding no.

She and her husband, also a child of divorce, have built a 24-year-long happy marriage with 3 children. Her message for you? You can do the same. In this episode, we discuss:

How she’s overcome her fear of getting divorced and how marriage has actually been healing for her.
How she felt her father’s absence as a young person and how she ultimately forgave him.
How to become more confident and resilient or gritty

If you’re afraid of getting divorced, you want to forgive your parents, or you want to become tougher, this episode is for you.

Get the Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

Contact Samantha: samantha.hall328@icloud.com

Mentorship with Bobby: Schedule a FREE phone consultation with Bobby

#136: Relationship Advice for Young People from Broken Families | Jackie & Bobby Angel

Wed, 20 Nov 2024 09:00:00 -0700

The biggest area of struggle for young people from divorced or broken families is in romantic relationships. Why so much struggle? In short, we were poorly trained in how to love, so we feel incompetent at it and fear repeating our parents’ mistakes.

So, how can you overcome that fear and relearn how to love? My guests answer that question and more:

How do you discern whether a lack of peace in a relationship is because of your brokenness or because the relationship isn’t right?
What topics does a couple need to discuss and agree upon before marriage?
What’s been the most helpful advice you’ve used in handling conflict?

If you’re from a divorced or dysfunctional family and you want to break that cycle and build a beautiful marriage and family, this episode is for you.

Follow Jackie & Bobby

Website: JackieandBobby.com
Instagram: @jackiefrancois
Instagram: @bobby.angel
YouTube: Conversations with Jackie & Bobby
- Listen on Apple
- Listen on Spotify
YouTube: Ascension Presents playlist: Jackie & Bobby

If you need it, tell Bobby you heard him here and ask for a discount for your first month!

Get the Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

Get the Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

#135: Holidays with Divorced Parents? 5 Tips to Navigate Them

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 09:00:00 -0700

Whether holidays with your divorced or separated parents are new or you’ve done it numerous times, this episode is for you. In it, you’ll get 5 practical tips to better navigate the holidays in your broken family, so they’re less stressful and more enjoyable.

Get the Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

#134: Holidays After Your Parents’ Divorce: What Nobody Tells You | Danielle

Fri, 25 Oct 2024 00:00:00 -0600

While the rest of the world is filled with holiday cheer, people like us from divorced or broken families usually feel very differently. While you can’t magically make the holidays happy and drama-free, what if there was a way to make them less stressful and more enjoyable?

That’s what we’ll discuss in this episode, plus:

The challenges that come from navigating 3 Christmases
Some typical fears and barriers that complicate the holidays and tips to handle them
A FREE resource to help you navigate the holidays, so they’re less stressful and more enjoyable

30-Day Tech Detox Challenge via Hallow

#133: Digital Addiction: Why It Hurts You & How to Beat It | Andrew Laubacher

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 17:00:00 -0600

Technology certainly has benefits, but there are dangers as well. Sadly, our misuse of technology is causing us to be more depressed, more anxious, less happy, and less healthy than ever before.

Perhaps worst of all, it destroys our ability to heal, grow, and build healthy relationships. In this episode, we dive into that with my guest, Andrew Laubacher, plus:

Alarming data on how misusing tech is hurting us, especially young people
How to build an intentional relationship with technology
A novel yet simple solution to help you find freedom from digital addiction

Visit Humanality.org

Support Humanality

Get the Mini-Course: Why You Feel Broken

Get the Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

Listen to Dr. Bottaro’s podcast, Being Human

#132: Why Your Wounds & Subconscious Are Ruling Your Life | Dr. Gregory Bottaro

Thu, 03 Oct 2024 04:00:00 -0600

Carl Jung once said, “Unless you make the subconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate.”

In this episode, Dr. Greg Bottaro explains why our untreated wounds and our subconscious rule our lives, often without us knowing it. We also discuss:

How his parents’ divorce impacted him and how he found tremendous healing
Dr. Bottaro answers your questions, such as:
How do you heal?
How do I overcome my extreme fear of marriage and intimacy?
How can you reconcile and build a strong relationship with parents who’ve been blind for years to the harm their divorce caused for me and my siblings?
And many more questions related to healing, relationships, your parents, helping others, and even your relationship with God.
What exactly are abuse and narcissism?
A NEW resource that’s an alternative to therapy.

Schedule a FREE mentorship consultation (Get 10% off your first month of mentorship with the code: RESTORED24 )

Listen to 9 Ways to Pay for Counseling

Submit your question for the show

#131: Family Felt Stressful, Tense, & Unstable | Jordana

Wed, 11 Sep 2024 17:00:00 -0600

After 24 years of marriage, Jordana’s parents divorced. Overall, her experience of family felt tense, stressful, and unstable. Once she learned of her parents’ divorce, she went into problem-solver mode, taking on the role of mother for her siblings.

In this episode, you’ll hear us discuss all of that, plus:

How filling a parent role isn’t ideal, but sometimes necessary for a season, and how to handle the guilt about moving forward in your life.
Her struggles with communicating in relationships and with anxiety overall
Why it’s so helpful to put your feelings into words, even though it seems too simple to help

Listen to The Interior Integration for Catholics Podcast

#130: An Exercise to Heal | Dr. Peter Malinoski

Thu, 29 Aug 2024 20:00:00 -0600

If you’re like me, you’ve experienced trauma or brokenness in your life which has led you to seek healing. One method of healing used in therapy is Internal Family Systems. But what exactly is it? And how can it help you?

My guest today, a psychologist and expert in Internal Family Systems, answers those questions, plus:

A healing exercise that you can do alongside me during this episode
The result of the exercise for me and both of our thoughts on it
Why your subconscious is ruling your life

Visit Dr. Peter’s Souls and Hearts

#129: What Does It Mean to Be Healthy & Whole? | Matthew Rudolph

Thu, 22 Aug 2024 07:00:00 -0600

We talk a lot about being healthy and whole, but what exactly does it mean to be healthy and whole?

We dive into that topic in this episode with a man who’s been accomplished as a CEO but has also worked hard on himself as a husband and father, plus:

Why honesty and vulnerability are essential for healing and growth, and how forgiveness has been very healing for him
The 4 stages of growth required to love well
A resource for leaders, pastors, and seminarians

Visit ChrismPriest.com

Email Matt: matt@chrismpriest.com

Visit BlackStoneFilms.co

Share Your Story with Restored

#128: Abuse Led to My Parents’ Divorce | Emma

Tue, 30 Jul 2024 04:00:00 -0600

Emma was 14 years old when her parents divorced, but the dysfunction at home had been happening for years. In this episode, she shares how the dysfunction, divorce, and abuse have affected her. We also discuss:

How she overcame victim mentality
How abuse differs from bad behavior
What helped her heal and how her life is better now as a wife and mother

View Restored’s Resources

Domestic Violence Hotline

Email Emma: injoyfulpraise@gmail.com

Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex: A Practical Guide for Catholics

#127: How Functional Neurology Helps You Heal | Dr. Paul Link

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 13:00:00 -0600

A doctor of functional neurology joins us to explain a new, cutting edge healing science that’s used to heal dysfunction in our bodies and minds, and help us live and perform at our best. It’s already being used by professional athletes and even Navy SEALs.

We dive into what it is and how it can help you, plus:

Why people from divorced families struggle more in relationships from a scientific standpoint
Why one-size-fits-all doesn’t work with healing - it must be personal and custom
3 amazing stories of people who’ve benefited from functional neurology, including a boy who was confined to a wheelchair that was able to walk

Email Dr. Paul Link

Visit Bree’s Etsy shop, Ave Maria Every Day

126: Former Porn Actress: Over 90% of People in Porn are from Broken Families | Bree Solstad

Tue, 02 Jul 2024 07:00:00 -0600

Bree Solstad went from being a top-selling porn actress to quitting her job and completely turning her life around. That transformation started because of a trip to Italy.

In this episode, she tells us about that and answers questions like:

What led you to pornography in the first place?
How did your broken family and abandonment from your father play into that?
What percentage of performers in porn come from divorced or broken families? It’ll shock you
What has helped you begin to heal your wounds?
What would you say to people who believe that porn is harmful and not wrong?

Follow Bree on Twitter and Instagram

Listen to the Healing Sexual Brokenness series

For Men: Buy the Book: Forged: 33 Days Toward Freedom by Jason Evert and Matt Fradd

For Women: Join a Magdala Ministries group

Watch Sound of Freedom

Visit FightTheNewDrug.org

For help with suicidal thoughts or behaviors, call or text 988, or go here.

Get the Free Guide: 7 Tips to Build Healthy Relationships and a Divorce-Proof Marriage

#125: Is Marriage Doomed to Fail? | Michael & Rachel Villanueva

Tue, 18 Jun 2024 04:00:00 -0600

For people like us from divorced and broken families, love and marriage can be extra scary. After my parents separated, I swore, “If this is where marriage leads, I want nothing to do with it.”

But thankfully, love and marriage aren’t doomed to fail. Marriage isn’t easy, but it can be beautiful and joyful. More importantly, it can help you grow into a better, stronger, and more virtuous person.

Today, we’re joined by a married couple to discuss all of that, plus:

The struggles they’ve faced within their marriage, especially around unmet expectations and brokenness
The joy and beauty that they’ve experienced in their marriage and family
What topics you need to discuss before you get married

Listen to All Things Nueva: Apple, Spotify

Follow Michael & Rachel: Instagram, Facebook, Instagram

#124: I Wanted My Divorced Parents Back Together | Ethan

Tue, 04 Jun 2024 04:00:00 -0600

For many of us from divorced families, we unconsciously want our parents to resolve their problems and get back together. Even if that isn’t possible due to abuse or other extreme scenarios, we can’t help but want our family to be whole.

Today’s guest felt that desire for his parents and family. In this episode, we discuss that and more:

How anger, overeating, and lots of activities became his coping mechanisms
How his parents’ divorce has affected him differently in different chapters of his life
How much should parents tell their kids about the divorce?
What he’s done to heal and grow, and how his life is better now

Visit BlackStoneFilms.co

JackBeers.com

TheCatholicMentor.com

Schedule a FREE call with Jack

View Restored’s Resources

DakotaLaneFitness.com

Shownotes

#123: What I Wish Never Happened, I Am The Most Grateful For | Jack Beers

Tue, 21 May 2024 04:00:00 -0600

At a young age, Jack learned he had an incurable disease. That naturally brought lots of physical and emotional pain into his life. But through that suffering, the lessons he learned and the transformation he experienced led him to say, “The thing I wish most never happened, I am most grateful for.”

In this episode, we discuss what led to that transformation and more:

The bitterness and loneliness he felt and how his life looks now
Our tendency to “replay” the trauma we’ve endured and what to do if you feel stuck
Why we need mentors in our lives to guide and challenge us, but also to help us see our blindspots

#122: What Caused So Many Broken Marriages & Families? | Dr. John Bishop, PhD

Tue, 07 May 2024 04:00:00 -0600

With so many marriages and families falling apart, the natural question is: What has caused all these broken marriages and families?

In this episode, Dr. John Bishop unveils the surprising root cause, plus:

The crisis of masculinity facing our world right now
The proper place of happiness within marriage
An awesome digital hack to protect yourself and your relationships

MyForge.org

DakotaLaneFitness.com

Fight the new drug

View Restored’s Resources

Buy Jason Evert’s booklet, Pure Intimacy

Buy Jason Evert’s talk, Green Sex

Buy Margaret’s Book: Fearless

#121: A Cure for Feeling Needy or Helpless | Margaret Vasquez

Tue, 23 Apr 2024 04:00:00 -0600

So many people from broken families struggle with feeling helpless or needy. Our efforts to heal or grow might even feel fruitless like tires spinning in mud that never gain traction. We put in effort in learning, but transformation isn’t happening.

Whether that describes you or someone you know (like a friend, parent, or anyone else), this episode will help you! In it, you’ll learn:

The simple solution to beat neediness and helplessness
Why struggles are actually good for you
The most important question you can ask to move beyond grief

Margaret’s Website

Dakota Lane Fitness

Buy Margaret’s Book: More Than Words

Get Margaret’s Course: Broken to Whole

Go to Jake’s Website & Resources

#120: Freedom You Never Tasted But Always Wanted | Jake Khym, MA

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 04:00:00 -0600

Two years into marriage, Jake found himself enslaved to a sexual addiction. He longed for freedom but felt very stuck. As a result, he lived a double life, hiding his unwanted behavior from his wife.

But one random day, it all came to light. At that moment, he thought his marriage was over. In this episode, he shares what happened next, plus:

What kept his marriage from falling apart?
How a wound of abandonment from his family drove his addiction
6 tips to break free from sexual compulsion or addiction

Listen to our series, Healing Sexual Brokenness

Go to Dakota Lane Fitness

#119: Broken is What Happened to Me, Not Who I Am | Stacey

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 04:00:00 -0600

After her parents divorced, my guest felt abandoned and badly hoped it was all a dream that she could just wake up from. Dealing with all the brokenness that followed led her down a path of feeling stuck and thinking her brokenness defined her.

Thankfully, she realized that “‘broken’ is what happened to me, not who I am.” In this episode, we touch on that and more:

How just having the pain of your parents’ divorce validated is incredibly helpful and often the first step of healing
The many emotional problems she’s had to battle, including anxiety, depression, anger, self-hate, control, and loneliness
The tendency in people like us to allow fear to hold us back and cause us to play it safe, but how healing can free us from fear

Get FREE Guide: 7 Tips to Build Healthy Relationships & a Divorce-Proof Marriage

#118: Resolving Conflict is a Skill | Cody & Katherine

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 04:00:00 -0600

If you’re like me, you never saw conflict resolved peacefully in your family. As a result, you might feel a bit lost about how to resolve conflict in your life, especially in your relationships.

If that’s you, this episode will help. In it, a married couple joins to share tips they’ve learned on resolving conflict, plus:

Why it’s important to let small things go, but how letting too much go can lead to resentment
The four levels of learning any skill
Advice to someone from an intact family who’s dating, engaged, or even married to someone from a broken family

#117: Children & Parents Deserve Better Than Divorce | Jennifer Friesen

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 04:00:00 -0700

So many divorces happen because one spouse follows their desires at the expense of their vows. That happened in the family of my guest today.

In this episode, we cover:

How her family’s dysfunction led to struggles with gender and sexuality
The beautiful transformation she’s experienced and even seen in her parents
The biggest lie about getting divorced
A new organization that’s fighting for children’s rights

Follow Jenn’s Blog, Do Better Theology

Visit Them Before Us

Meet with Joey for Restored’s Donor Pitch

#116: Divorce (on Restore the Glory Podcast)

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 04:00:00 -0700

Today we’re sharing a podcast where I was interviewed by two therapists, Dr. Bob Schuchts and Jake Khym, on their podcast, Restore the Glory. Joey especially opens up about his struggles in his relationship with God, plus they discuss:

When we don’t face our wounds, we typically try to outrun them.
Since divorce is a wound of broken love, the antidote is authentic love.
Why it’s so helpful to spend time with a couple who has a healthy marriage.

Donate to Restored

Listen to the Restore the Glory podcast

Visit JPII Healing Center

Buy the Book: Gift & Grit: How Heroic Virtue Can Change Your Life and Relationships

#115: The Antidote to a Life of Emptiness | Dr. Andrew & Sarah Swafford

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 04:00:00 -0700

It’s said that Henry David Thoreau once wrote, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” Doesn’t that describe our culture? A culture that’s hooked on comfort and so void of meaning.

But thankfully, Dr. Andrew and Sarah Swafford have a solution to that problem. In this episode, we discuss:

What holds us back from lives and relationships full of meaning?
What’s needed to live a life of meaning and happiness?
How do we navigate the dating scene today?
How can you heal your brokenness?

If you’ve ever felt that ache of wanting more from life, don’t miss this episode.

Donate to Restored

Meet with Joey for Restored’s Donor Pitch

Buy the Book: Undone: Freeing Your Feminine Heart from the Knots of Fear and Shame

#114: You Were Not Made to Be Without a Father and Mother | Nicole Rodriguez

Tue, 16 Jan 2024 04:00:00 -0700

When your parents divorce, you almost always lose one or both parents physically or emotionally. But as our guest today says, we’re not meant to go through life without the mentorship of a father and a mother.

In this episode, Nicole Rodriguez shares the immense healing she’s experienced through parents who were not her own. We also discuss:

How her parents’ divorce started with infidelity and led her to feeling abandoned and lonely
The emotional numbness and skepticism toward emotion that she experienced
How she felt doomed to repeat the cycle of dysfunction and divorce, but thankfully overcame that

Attend the Undone Women’s Conference

Schedule a Consult with Dr. Genn

#113: A New Therapy to Heal Trauma | Dr. Christopher Genn, DPT

Tue, 02 Jan 2024 04:00:00 -0700

Trauma, such as your parents’ divorce or extreme family dysfunction, doesn’t only affect your emotions. It affects your body too. It quite literally has physical effects.

In this episode, Dr. Christopher Genn, a physical therapist and expert in applied kinesiology, explains how our bodies respond to trauma and how we can heal. Plus, we discuss:

A new therapy to treat pain, trauma, and even rewire bad habits
The story of a girl enduring her parents’ divorce who became physically debilitated
How we often lie to ourselves about our families, parents, and past - and why that’s a barrier to healing

Get the Course: Broken to Whole

Visit Dr. Genn’s Website

#112: The Best of 2023: Restored Podcast Highlights

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 04:00:00 -0700

In this episode, you'll hear highlight clips from the podcast in 2023. This episode, and the entire podcast, will help you heal from the trauma of your parents’ divorce, separation, or broken marriage, so you can break the cycle.

Restored’s Website

Get the Book or First Chapters: It’s Not Your Fault

#111: The #1 Lie About How Divorce Affects the Children | Cody

Thu, 07 Dec 2023 22:00:00 -0700

There’s an extremely popular lie about how divorce affects the children. In this episode, we discuss that lie with my guest who is an only child from a divorced family, plus:

The loneliness, addiction, and social problems that stemmed from his family’s breakdown
The anger and even hatred he felt toward his parents and how he feels now
A unique thing he and his wife did before they were married to strengthen their relationship

Get the FREE Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

Schedule a Free Consult at St. Raphael Counseling

#110: 10 Ways to Make Therapy Fail or Succeed for You | Clare Eckard

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 04:00:00 -0700

If there were 10 things you can do to make therapy succeed (or fail), would you want to know them? I know I would.

In this episode, a therapist joins us to share those tips, plus:

The goal of therapy and the temptation to idealize healing
A tool for dealing with troubling thoughts
The struggle to put words to your own emotions and experiences of brokenness

If you’ve ever been to therapy and it hasn’t gone well or you’re considering therapy but you’re unsure how to make it successful, this episode is for you.

Find a Restored Coach

How Restored Has Helped You?

Get the FREE Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

#109: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 04:00:00 -0700

If you’re from a broken family, the holidays often bring more stress and challenges than joy. After my parents separated, I faced these challenges:

A sad, pit-in-the-stomach reminder of my parents’ split and my family’s brokenness
Pressure to choose between parents and balance time amid many events
A misled desire to make everyone happy, especially my parents, often at my expense
My emotions or other people being in control instead of me
Feeling alone and uncertain of how to deal with it all

If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. In it, you’ll get 5 tips to navigate the challenges and hopefully, even begin enjoying the holidays again. Using them won’t make your holidays look like a Hallmark movie, but they will improve the experience by putting you in the driver’s seat.

How has Restored helped you?

#108: It’s Not Your Job to Parent Your Parents | Ashton

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 04:00:00 -0600

If you’re from a broken family and you’ve struggled with OCD, relationships, overthinking, and filling a parent role for your siblings or parents, this episode is for you.

In it, Ashton shares how her parents’ divorce has affected her and her relationships. She also talks about what’s helped her heal and even offers some advice for you.

Take the podcast survey

#107: Forgiving Someone Who’s Hurt You | John O’Brien

Tue, 10 Oct 2023 04:00:00 -0600

When trauma occurs, it causes you to ask big questions. That’s where my guest found himself after being brutally attacked, almost to the point of death, by people he was trying to help.

In this episode, you’ll hear the story of the attack, plus he answers:

Has forgiveness been difficult for you?
Why forgive? What are the benefits? What happens if we don’t forgive?
How do you forgive someone who has hurt you?

Take the podcast survey

Apply for Freedom Coaching

#106: Healing Sexual Brokenness: A Resource for Men Struggling | Steven Motyl

Thu, 28 Sep 2023 04:00:00 -0600

When you’re struggling with unwanted sexual behavior, asking for help is terrifying. The struggle feels so shameful and admitting your weakness feels humiliating. As a result, most men stay stuck for years and years.

Thankfully, there’s a way out. Asking for help from the right people is the key to overcoming shame, humiliation, and unwanted behavior. Today, a coach specializing in helping men break free from unwanted sexual behavior joins the show to discuss:

Is freedom even possible?
Why do men deserve that freedom?
A valuable for you or men you know struggling
Stories of transformation in the lives of the men he’s coached
Advice and encouragement for any man struggling right now

Get FREE Mini-Course: Why You Feel Broken
Listen to the Series: Healing Sexual Brokenness

Buy Rachael’s Book: Love in Recovery: One Woman's Story of Breaking Free from Shame and Healing from Pornography Addiction

Join a Magdala group

Listen to the Magdala Podcast

Get FREE Mini-Course: Why You Feel Broken

Listen to the Series: Healing Sexual Brokenness

Shownotes

#105: Healing Sexual Brokenness: A Resource for Women Struggling | Rachael Killackey

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 04:00:00 -0600

If you’re a woman that struggles with unwanted sexual behavior, you are not alone. The myth of porn, or even lust, being a male problem is just that - a myth. More importantly, healing and freedom are within reach for you.

In this episode, brave author and speaker Rachael Killackey shares her struggles with unwanted sexual behavior and a valuable resource for women struggling, plus:

The emotions that sexual struggles brought into her life
How she found freedom and helps other women now, too
How you should respond if you have a relapse

#104: Healing Sexual Brokenness: Why is Our Culture So Sexually Broken? | Christopher West

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 20:00:00 -0600

Our world is very sexually broken. The examples are endless: Pornography use, sexual compulsions, addictions, hookup culture, paying for sex, infidelity, sex trafficking, and much more.

But how did our world become so sexually broken?

That’s the topic we tackle today with famous author and speaker Christopher West. If you’ve wrestled with sexual brokenness or noticed an ache inside that you that nothing seems to fill, this episode is for you.

Image 1: Three Choices
Image 2: Wall Unity Crucifix

Buy Christopher West’s Books

Listen to the Ask Christopher West podcast

Get FREE Mini-Course: Why You Feel Broken

Listen to the Series: Healing Sexual Brokenness

Shownotes

#103: How Does Your Body and Brain React to Trauma? | Patricia Scott, LPC, PhD Candidate

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 04:00:00 -0600

What happens inside your brain and your body when you endure trauma?

Surprisingly, there’s actually a predictable way that your body and mind responds to trauma. In this episode, we break down each response with a trauma therapist. We also discuss:

How her parents’ divorce impacted her
Is healing trauma even possible? If so, what does it take to heal?
How to apologize the right way

Find a therapist

Shownotes

#102: Healing Sexual Brokenness: Your Sexual Brokenness Isn’t Random | Jay Stringer

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 04:00:00 -0600

What if I told you that your sexual struggles could be predicted by your untreated trauma?

Today, we’re joined by author Jay Stringer who studied ~4,000 men and women who struggle with sexual compulsion or addiction, such porn, masturbation, affairs, buying sex, and much more.

In this episode, we breakdown his NEW study and more:

How the sexual fantasies and porn searches of the study participants could be predicted by their untreated trauma
Why we often repeat behavior that harmed us, such as sexual abuse or affairs, and how to avoid that
How anger actually drives unwanted sexual behavior
Why people from rigid or disengaged families are much more likely to struggle with sexual compulsion or addiction
How in order to break free, you have to listen to your lust and understand why you struggle in the particular ways that you do
Why typical lust management strategies like accountability software are not enough

Whether you struggle with sexual brokenness or know someone who does, this episode will help anyone find healing and lasting freedom from sexual brokenness.

Buy Jay’s Book: Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing

Get FREE Unwanted Chapters

Get FREE Mini-Course: Why You Feel Broken

Listen to the Series: Healing Sexual Brokenness

Shownotes

#101: Healing Sexual Brokenness: Freedom from Porn | Matt Fradd & Jason Evert

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 04:00:00 -0600

When it comes to pornography, there are basically two types of people:

Those who believe that porn is wrong and harmful.
And those who do not.

But beyond the arguments, millions of people struggle with a pornography compulsion or addiction. They want to break free, but they feel stuck and hopeless. No matter what they try, it doesn’t work.

In this episode, popular speakers and authors Matt Fradd and Jason Evert join me to answer these tough questions:

Is porn harmful and wrong? If so, why?
What does it do your brain and your relationships?
How do you actually break free from porn?
What resources are out there to help you or someone you care about?

Buy the Book: Forged: 33 Days Toward Freedom by Jason Evert and Matt Fradd

Buy the Book: The Porn Myth: Exposing the Reality Behind the Fantasy of Pornography by Matt Fradd

Get the FREE Mini-Course: Why You Feel Broken

Listen to the Series: Healing Sexual Brokenness

Shownotes

#100: How Restored Helps Children of Divorce and Broken Families

Tue, 04 Jul 2023 04:00:00 -0600

What’s brought the most pain and problems into your life? If your answer (or a top answer) is your parents’ divorce or the breakdown of your family, this podcast is for you.

In this episode, we talk about the specific pain and problems your parents’ divorce or family breakdown bring into your life. We also highlight resources to help you heal and build virtue, so you can feel whole again and break the cycle of dysfunction and divorce in your own life.

Take podcast survey (5-10 min)

View Restored resources via shownotes

Schedule donor pitch with Joey

#099: Healing Sexual Brokenness: The Cure to Unwanted Sexual Behavior | Dr. Bob Schuchts, PhD

Tue, 20 Jun 2023 14:00:00 -0600

Millions of people right now are struggling with sexual compulsion and addiction. It’s a massive problem that doesn’t get the attention or resources it deserves.

Thankfully, in this episode, psychologist Dr. Bob Schuchts offers steps and a resource to heal your sexual brokenness. We also discuss:

A story of profound healing and transformation
Dr. Bob’s own past struggles in this area
How sexual brokenness is often passed down in families through generations

Buy Dr. Bob’s Book: Be Restored

Get the FREE Mini-Course: Why You Feel Broken

Listen to the Series: Healing Sexual Brokenness

Shownotes

#098: Healing Sexual Brokenness: 6 Steps for Women to Break Free | Kelsey Skoch

Wed, 07 Jun 2023 18:00:00 -0600

If you’re a woman that struggles with unwanted sexual behavior, have you felt like you’re the only female that struggles? If so, that’s an absolute lie. In fact, one study found that ~75% of women 18-30 reported viewing porn at least once a month.

With more and more women struggling with porn and masturbation, speaker and author Kelsey Skoch joins the show to share steps you can take as a woman to find freedom. We also discuss:

Kelsey’s past struggles, what helped her find freedom, and what her life is like now
How unhealed trauma can contribute to unwanted sexual behavior, including the trauma of your parents’ divorce or broken family
How some people claim these behaviors are good for women, but Kelsey shares how she’s only seen it damage women

Buy Kelsey’s book, Uncompromising Purity (Buy on Amazon)

Take the My Broken Family Assessment

Listen to the Series: Healing Sexual Brokenness

Shownotes

#097: 3 Tips to Help Someone from a Divorced or Broken Family

Thu, 25 May 2023 04:00:00 -0600

Are you worried about someone you love or lead from a divorced or broken family? Do you want to help them, but feel unequipped and somewhat helpless?

In this episode, you’ll learn 3 tips to help them and a NEW resource on how to help someone from a divorced or broken family, so you can do and say the right things, avoid the wrong ones, and offer real help.

Get Real Help course

Shownotes

#096: How to Heal from the Trauma of Your Parents’ Divorce or Broken Family | Margaret Vasquez

Wed, 10 May 2023 16:00:00 -0600

If you come from a broken family, did your parents’ divorce or family dysfunction bring emotional problems, bad habits, and relationship struggles into your life? As a result, do you feel unsure how to heal and afraid that you’ll repeat the cycle?

In this episode, we unveil a NEW and FREE resource to help you heal from the trauma of your parents’ divorce or broken family, so you can break the cycle and build a better life. In doing so, we discuss:

What is trauma and how does it affect you?
Why is your parents’ divorce or family dysfunction the most impactful type of trauma?
How do you heal from it?

Get Broken to Whole Course

Take the My Broken Family Assessment

#095: Healing Happens When We Ask for Help | Tanya Lyons

Wed, 26 Apr 2023 22:00:00 -0600

You feel broken. You want to heal. But you’re unwilling to ask for help.

If that describes you, your ability to heal will be stifled. Nobody ever healed their broken leg without the help, knowledge, or experience of others. Healing only happens with the love and help of other people.

In this episode, we discuss that and more as my guest shares :

How it took 20 years for her to pursue counseling, but how she found healing there
Why is it so difficult to talk about our parents’ divorce or broken family and what can we do about that?
Why taking risks feels extra scary for people like us and what to do if you feel that fear

Buy Tanya’s Book, Come Home Laughing

Join the Course Waitlist

Take the My Broken Family Assessment

#094: Are You Trying to Outrun Your Trauma?

Sun, 16 Apr 2023 17:00:00 -0600

How have you dealt with the trauma of your parents’ divorce or broken family?

After enduring her parents’ divorce, her mom’s alcoholism, her dad’s absence, and her stepmom’s abuse, today’s guest tried to outrun her trauma through busyness, accomplishments, and perfectionism.

Before long, she went from repressing her emotions and saying “I’m fine” to “I need help.” That began her healing, which we discuss, plus:

How she doubted her ability to be a good wife and mother
How she grew up faster than her peers from intact families, making it difficult to relate to them
When are anxiety or depression drugs necessary and when are they used inappropriately?

Join the Course Waitlist

Get Free Chapters or Buy: It’s Not Your Fault

#093: Radio Interview: In Divorce, the Kids are Not Okay and Here’s Why

Fri, 31 Mar 2023 22:00:00 -0600

Two things we’ve learned about divorce from scientific studies and stories of people like us:

Almost always, divorce is traumatic and damaging for the children
The effects are typically serious and long lasting

In this episode, you’ll hear a radio interview I did that elaborates on each point:

How divorce is traumatic for the children
The specific pain and problems it brings into our lives
A resource that you can use to navigate through the pain and problems and even find healing

Join the Courses Waitlist

Buy Katy’s book: Them Before Us: Why We Need a Global Children's Rights Movement

Take the assessment

#092: Is Divorce Good or Bad for Children? | Katy Faust

Thu, 16 Mar 2023 23:00:00 -0600

Is divorce good or bad for children? There’s tons of confusion around that question. In this episode, speaker and author Katy Faust offers answers with clarity and tons of research. She also touches on:

How does divorce affect the children?
Is divorce really worse than the death of a parent?
What do children need that marriage provides?
How do you navigate speaking about your parents in a respectful yet honest way?
What’s your advice to parents considering divorce?

Buy Dr. Bacon’s book, Super Couples: A Formula for Extreme Happiness in Marriage

#091: Infidelity: Healing from Your Spouse or Parent’s Affair | Dr. Christine Bacon

Sat, 04 Mar 2023 15:00:00 -0700

Feeling hopeless, our guest prayed for her husband to die. Earlier in their marriage, she cheated on him. Thankfully, they turned things around and they now have a beautiful marriage.

In this episode, Dr. Christine Bacon vulnerably shares about her affair but especially about the restoration of her marriage. She even shares the formula she’s discovered for a happy marriage. She also offers advice and answers questions, such as:

Why do people have affairs?
Should parents tell their kids about the infidelity?
What can a young person do to heal from their parent’s unfaithfulness?

Take the assessment

#090: How’s Your Parents’ Divorce or Broken Family Affecting You Today?

Thu, 16 Feb 2023 05:00:00 -0700

How is your parents’ divorce or your broken family affecting you today?

If your answer is “I don’t really know” or you don’t understand the depth of it, you’re not alone. That’s actually very common. But in the words of one therapist, “When it comes to experiencing healing, naming how you’ve been harmed is about 70% of the battle.”

In this episode, we unveil a new tool that will help you name and diagnose your brokenness, so you can heal it and build the life and relationships you desire.

Take the assessment

Hire Dakota or view his services

#089: How to Become Fit and Healthy | Dakota Lane

Wed, 01 Feb 2023 19:00:00 -0700

According to research, people like us from divorced or broken families are typically less physically healthy. If that describes you, or you simply want to become healthier, this episode will help.

Fitness and nutrition coach Dakota Lane shares how the abuse and dysfunction in his family impacted his relationships and how he’s found healing. He also offers advice on how to become fit and healthy by answering questions such as:

How much water should you drink every day?
How much should you sleep?
Is exercise or nutrition more important?
If you have very little time to work out, what can you do?
How do you stay motivated and disciplined?

Find a coach, counselor, or spiritual director

#088: How to Respond to Your Pain in a Heroic Way | William Scheremet

Wed, 18 Jan 2023 20:00:00 -0700

When William was in high school, his home was riddled with emotional pain and conflict. Eventually, his parents got divorced. That led to struggles in his relationships, especially with handling conflict and breaking up prematurely because he didn’t want to get hurt.

But the pain didn’t end there. After suffering from neglect and severe bullying, William was involved in a horrible accident that left him severely injured. In this episode, he shares what happened and how his pain now has purpose. He offers advice to anyone suffering too.

Visit William’s website or YouTube channel

Find a counselor, coach, or spiritual director

#087: A Special Operations Tactic to Stay Calm and Function under Stress | Tyler Morris

Wed, 04 Jan 2023 22:00:00 -0700

If there was a technique used by Special Operators (Navy SEALs, Rangers, Special Forces, etc), firefighters, paramedics, and high performing athletes to stay calm during stressful situations, think clearly, make the right decisions, and avoid overwhelm, would you want to know it?

That’s what you’re going to learn in this episode from a firefighter and paramedic.

#086: The Best of 2022: Restored Podcast Highlights

Tue, 20 Dec 2022 04:00:00 -0700

In this episode, you'll hear six short highlight clips from the podcast in 2022. This episode, and the podcast as a whole, will help you heal and grow from the trauma of your parents’ divorce, separation, or broken marriage, so you can feel whole again and break the cycle of dysfunction and divorce in your own life.

Thanks for listening! We do it for you.

Restored’s Website

Buy Women Made New

#085: How to Build a Beautiful Marriage Despite Your Struggles as a Daughter of Divorce | Leila Miller

Wed, 07 Dec 2022 21:00:00 -0700

If you’re a woman with divorced or separated parents, have you struggled a lot in your relationships? If you’re married, has marriage felt extra difficult for you? If so, you’re not alone. That’s actually common as our guest today shares.

In this episode, we discuss the struggles that daughters of divorce face in marriage that daughters of intact families typically never have to deal with and more:

How you’re not doomed to repeat your parents’ mistakes
Stories of marriages in crisis that turned things around
Tips for women from broken families on building a good and beautiful marriage
Advice for any parents in really difficult marriages
Women Made New, a new book on healing for women that features a chapter on marriage for daughters of divorce

Get Free Chapters or Buy It’s Not Your Fault

Get the Free Guide: 7 Tips to Build a Thriving & Divorce-Proof Marriage

#084: Angry at God? Why People from Broken Families Struggle Extra in Their Relationship with Him | Sr. Miriam James Heidland

Tue, 22 Nov 2022 07:00:00 -0700

Have you rejected God? Do you really struggle in your relationship with him? If you’re from a broken family and that’s true, you’re not strange. In fact, it’s really common.

Why? From a young age, our parents represent God to us. If their example wasn’t good, it leaves us with a distorted image of God. As a result, we reject him or struggle extra in our relationship with him. We discuss that and more:

How Sr. Miriam began drinking at age 12 and became an alcoholic as a D1 athlete
3 common barriers that prevent you from healing
Tough questions like, “Why would God allow our families to fall apart?” and “Why doesn’t God make his love more obvious?”

Buy Sr. Miriam’s Book: Behold: A Guided Advent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

Buy Joey’s Book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain and Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce

Apply for coaching with Margaret

#083: 3 Steps to Navigate Your Broken Family During the Holidays | Margaret Vasquez

Tue, 08 Nov 2022 05:00:00 -0700

If you’re from a broken family, you don’t need anyone to tell you how stressful, depressing, or just plain difficult the holidays can be. If you can relate, this episode is for you.

In it, we offer:

3 steps to plan the holidays, so you can reduce the drama and actually enjoy them
Advice from a former trauma therapist on how to deal with your difficult emotions this time of the year, so they don’t control you and you don’t act out in unhealthy ways
Resources to help you cope, heal, and grow from the trauma of your broken family

Join Restored’s community

Shownotes

10 Questions

When will you spend time with each parent, if possible?
Who can you ask to be your swim buddy?
What three things should you do to take care of yourself?
What healthy distractions can you use in intense situations?
What predictable circumstances will come up and what can you say or do in them?
What expectations and boundaries need to be set?
If you can’t be with your family, what can you do to experience some sort of community instead of your family?
When and how will you communicate the plan?
What can you say to lead with your intention?
What’s your plan to respond if mom or dad gets upset?

#082: You Deserve Better than a Broken Life and Relationships | Kailash Duraiswami

Tue, 25 Oct 2022 04:00:00 -0600

Imagine you have all the success, pleasure, money, and excitement you could want. But instead of being happy, you feel unhappy and empty. What would you do?

That was the story of our guest today. The wounds from his broken family were at the core of his need to live a life of extreme pleasure, excitement, and ultimately, unhappiness. But that all began to change when the 2016 US presidential election caused him to question everything. In time, he went from partying with billionaire Silicon Valley entrepreneurs to living a very different life.

In this episode, you’ll hear his story and also:

How he didn’t even recognize that he was trying to fill an endless hole
How the lack of an example in how to form healthy relationships inhibited is ability to do so and caused a lot of turmoil in his relationships
How transforming himself led him to his beautiful soon-to-be bride and authentic happiness

Get the free chapters or buy the book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain and Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce

Sign up for Therapy or the Safe and Sound Protocol with Dr. Showalter

#081: What to Do If Fear Holds You Back in Life and Relationships | Dr. Rebecca Showalter, PsyD

Thu, 13 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0600

If you’re from a broken family, you’ve likely dealt with a lot of fear. For so many of us, that holds us back in life and relationships. At the core of that fear is usually the fact that we don’t feel safe.

In this episode, a psychologist joins us to discuss why so many people struggle to feel safe and how that affects their life and relationships. We also touch on:

What exactly is healing? Dr. Showalter explains 3 aspects of healing.
Is healing actually possible, or are we doomed to merely manage symptoms?
What to do if you feel afraid or embarrassed about seeing a therapist
A healing tool called the Safe and Sound Protocol

Share How Restored Has Helped You

#080: My Parents’ Divorce Made Me Question Everything | Paula Chambers, PhD

Wed, 28 Sep 2022 17:00:00 -0600

For so many of us, our parents’ divorce causes us to question everything — especially if it came out of the blue. We ask ourselves: What won’t fall apart? We may even go through life feeling like there’s a disaster around every corner and as a result, so often we play it safe in life.

We discuss that and more in this episode as my guest shares:

How she blamed herself for the breakdown of her parents’ marriage
How nobody was there for her
How she struggled with low self-esteem, self-harm, and acting out sexually
How she never had children because she feared she couldn’t be a good mom

#079: Religious Art for Adult Children of Divorce | Dr. Daniel Meola & Michael Corsini

Thu, 15 Sep 2022 05:00:00 -0600

Art is healing. If you’re not an artistic person, that might seem odd. But it’s true. In this episode, we discuss why and how art can be healing and more:

What type of art has been healing for our guests
How art can help people from broken families
A piece of religious art specifically for Catholic/Christian adult children of divorce

Dr. Daniel: Buy the artwork or sign up for the retreat

Mike: View his artwork

Buy Crystalina’s Book or Get First Chapter Free

#078: Ashamed of Your Past? It Doesn’t Need to Dictate Your Future | Crystalina Evert

Tue, 30 Aug 2022 20:00:00 -0600

If you’re ashamed of your past because of mistakes or abuse, it’s natural to feel stuck. But you don’t have to stay stuck. Healing and freedom are possible for you.

Author and speaker Crystalina Evert vulnerably shares how her broken family and sexual abuse caused her to cope with drugs, drinking, and sleeping around. We also discuss:

Tactics that have helped her heal
A new book to help any woman, especially women who have suffered abuse
Advice and encouragement to women who’ve suffered abus e or feel broken

Get a Coach

Get the Book or Free Chapters: It’s Not Your Fault

#077: The Past Sometimes Lives in the Present | Eddy Cervantes

Tue, 16 Aug 2022 04:00:00 -0600

A myth about children of divorce is that the impact of our parents’ divorce is temporary. That’s simply not true, which research proves. Sadly, the effects last long after the divorce itself.

Our guest today shares how his parents divorce has impacted him, even 20 years later in his own marriage. We discuss:

How he felt lost when it came to dating and relationships, how breakups felt like a repeat of his parents’ divorce, and how he irrationally fears that his spouse is going to leave one day
What it’s like to go through a divorce in a Mexican family
What to do when you’re unsure how to articulate a feeling or experience you’ve endured, especially related to your broken family
A story on having a difficult conversation with his mom, which offers good lessons for having a difficult conversation with your parents

Meet with Joey for the Investor’s Pitch

Get the Free Guide: 7 Tips to Build a Thriving and Divorce-Proof Marriage

#076: The #1 Thing Missing in Marriages Today | Matt & Mindy Dalton

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 04:00:00 -0600

Marriage isn’t easy. There are good times and challenging times. According to research, people like us from broken families typically struggle more in relationships and marriage. As a result, we’re more likely to need help.

In this episode, a couple that offers marriage coaching offers advice and shares the one thing missing most in marriages today. We also discuss:

The most common struggles faced by the couples they coach
Communication tips to help your relationship survive and thrive
Tactics for handling conflict well
Advice to couples in crisis, even on the brink of divorce
A resource to help your marriage or another marriage that’s struggling

Get your question answered on the podcast

#075: Dealing with Your Parents’ Divorce, Anger Toward Parents, Helping Your Kids Heal | Ask Restored #1

Tue, 19 Jul 2022 18:00:00 -0600

In this episode, we answer questions from listeners like you. Each question reveals a real life challenge faced by someone from a broken family. We offer answers and practical guidance.

The questions include:

How do you deal with your parents divorce when it isn’t a clearly justifiable split?
As divorced parents, how do we make up for all the mistakes we’ve made and help our kids heal?
How do I openly talk about my parents divorce without hurting them in the way I view it?
How do I build a better relationship with my dad when he isn’t emotionally there and has never talked to me about my parents separating/divorcing?
How do I deal with my anger toward my parents?

#074: Why Children of Divorce Learn to Act Like Chameleons | Craig Soto II

Tue, 05 Jul 2022 05:00:00 -0600

Often, people from broken families become very attuned to the needs of others, especially our parents and siblings. We become skilled at being what people want us to be. In the end, we often lose ourselves and our ability to articulate what we need and want.

In this episode, we discuss that problem as well as:

How normal was strange and strange was normal for our guest growing up
Why he became motivated to break the generational cycle of divorce in his family
How he felt like burden in his relationships, which made him feel the need to earn love and constantly prevent it from ending any moment

Get the Marriage Guide and Talk

#073: Prepare for Your Marriage, Not Just Your Wedding | Fr. Daniel Ciucci & Deacon Colin Coleman

Tue, 21 Jun 2022 05:00:00 -0600

Whether you’re single, dating, or engaged, your wedding day will be a beautiful experience. However, planning it is very consuming. As a result, it’s easy to prepare more for the wedding day than for a lifetime of marriage.

Marriage preparation is meant to refocus you and prepare you not only for your wedding day, but for your marriage. In this episode, we discuss marriage prep and:

The main cause of dysfunction and divorce, according to my guests
What can be done to better help people from broken families to build great marriages
A sneaky thing that can sabotage anyone’s marriage
An assessment to help you understand the reality of your relationship heading toward marriage
Advice and encouragement for leaders of marriage prep

If you hope to be married one day or you lead marriage prep, this episode is for you.

Buy Dr. Julia’s Books

#072: Eating Disorder: What It Is & How to Heal It | Dr. Julia Sadusky

Tue, 07 Jun 2022 04:00:00 -0600

If you or someone you know has struggled with an eating disorder, you know how painful that experience can be. It’s often an overlooked struggle that really deserves more attention and resources. But thankfully, some resources do exist to heal an eating disorder.

Today, a psychologist who specializes in treating eating disorders joins us. We discuss:

The types, symptoms, and root causes of eating disorders
Surprising statistics on the prevalence of eating disorders and how they can be lethal
How genetics play a role in developing an eating disorder and why you can’t simply think your way out of it
What a healthy relationship with food looks like
Resources and advice you can use today to begin overcoming this struggle

If you struggle with an eating disorder or know someone who does, don’t miss this episode.

Find a counselor

#071: My Parents’ Divorce Made Me a Child-Sized Old Soul | Professor Daniel Drain

Thu, 26 May 2022 07:00:00 -0600

Growing up too fast is a common experience for children of divorce. You’re often called upon to take on responsibilities that should never be yours. As a result, you may become a serious, mature person — even if you’re still a kid.

That’s what happened to our guest today, which he explains in this episode. In addition, we discuss:

A surprising thing that helped him heal and begin to break the cycle of dysfunction and divorce in his own life
How his parents are also children of divorce, which naturally played a role in how they repeat that cycle in their own marriage
What marriage is meant to be and why a false idea of freedom greatly hinders your ability to build lasting love

#070: Want a Great (Future) Marriage? Learn to Handle Conflict | Part 2

Tue, 10 May 2022 05:00:00 -0600

After his parents’ divorced, Joey feared repeating the same mistakes in his own marriage. He wanted to know, “How do I not repeat my parents’ mistakes?” He wanted authentic love but had no idea how to build it. It set him on a quest for answers and a roadmap for love.

In this episode, you’ll hear a talk which offers a roadmap based on research, time tested couples, and the wisdom of Christianity. You’ll also learn:

4 signs that your relationship or marriage is headed off a cliff, according to researchers
The biggest area of conflict in marriage and what to do about it
Practical tips to make conflict healthy
The one thing that makes conflict less scary and more manageable
A resource for handling conflict better

If you want a build a healthy relationship and great marriage, this episode is for you.

Listen to the whole talk: 7 Tips to Build a Thriving & Divorce-Proof Marriage

#069: Want a Great (Future) Marriage? Do This | Part 1

Thu, 28 Apr 2022 04:00:00 -0600

In this episode, you’ll hear a talk that offers a roadmap for love based on research, time-tested couples, and the wisdom of Christianity. You’ll also learn:

An ingredient that research shows is essential to build a healthy relationship and great marriage
Answers to the questions:
- Can love actually last?
- When feelings fade in your relationship, does that mean the end is near?
- Is love worth the risk and possible hurt?
A challenge to build love that lasts

If you want a build a healthy relationship and great marriage, this episode is for you.

Listen to the whole talk: 7 Tips to Build a Thriving & Divorce-Proof Marriage

#068: An Underrated Tactic to Heal from Your Parents’ Divorce | Salvatore Fiorenti

Tue, 12 Apr 2022 20:00:00 -0600

If you’re from a broken family, did your parents’ separation or divorce drag out for years? That was the story of our guest today.

In this episode, you’ll hear what happened in his family and how it affected him. We also discuss:

How he learned from an early age that his needs weren’t going to be met, so he had to figure out things for himself
How our parents seem to have grown during the separation and divorce, but as their kids, we can’t help but ask the question: Why couldn’t you grow together?
An underrated healing tactic that will help you heal, grow, set better boundaries, have healthier relationships, and feel at peace
An important skill you have to learn if you want to heal, grow, and feel whole again

Buy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)

Tell us how Restored has helped you

#067: Breaking the Cycle of Dysfunction in Your Marriage | Pierre & Maria Lareau

Tue, 29 Mar 2022 04:00:00 -0600

If you’re from a broken family, becoming independent and breaking the cycle can be extremely attractive. It certainly was for my guests, a married couple where both spouses from a broken family.

They share what happened in their families, how it’s affected them, their marriage, and even their kids. We also discuss:

Why one of their mentors encouraged them to begin counseling as a dating couple
The questions their kids have about their divorced grandparents
How our parents often compete for our loyalty
Why beating a victim mentality is so freeing
One thing that helped them deal with the dysfunction in their families

If you come from a broken family and you’re headed toward marriage, this episode is for you.

Get help from the St. Raymond Nonnatus Foundation

#066: A Resource for Families in Crisis | Anne DeSantis

Tue, 15 Mar 2022 04:00:00 -0600

When you’re 7 years old and your parents divorce out of the blue, it causes confusion and lots of questions. Unfortunately, the struggles for my guest didn’t stop there.

In this episode, we discuss:

How her parents divorce has impacted her, even years later
What to do when your divorced parents become ill and near the end of their lives, especially if you have a tense relationship with them
An organization that exists to help families in crisis

Buy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)

Join the coaching waitlist for a counselor or spiritual director

#065: A Tool to Heal Your Brokenness and Your Relationship with God | Bob Siemens

Tue, 01 Mar 2022 04:00:00 -0700

If you’re from a broken family, you’ve likely experienced extra barriers in your relationship with God. In fact, you might not even believe in God because of what happened in your family. Wherever you’re at, we’re glad you’re here.

In this episode, you’ll hear how spiritual direction is a tool you can use to overcome those barriers, heal from the trauma you’ve endured, and become spiritually strong. We also discuss:

Feeling guilty for wanting your parents to get divorced
Specific challenges when relating to God, such as rejecting God as a way to protect yourself and the question “God, is this how you really treat people who love you?
Temptation to suicide
Personal fears, such as “Am I going to be like my abusive dad? Will my marriage end up like my parents’ marriage?
How deepening your relationship with God helps you heal and feel whole again

If you’ve struggled in your relationship with God and felt far from him, this conversation is for you.

Check out Franciscan University’s School of Spiritual Direction

Book a Restored speaking engagement

#064: Your Broken Family and Mistakes Don’t Need to Dictate Your Future | Maggie Kim

Tue, 15 Feb 2022 06:00:00 -0700

One night, Maggie’s mother left her family without any explanation. Naturally, Maggie felt extremely abandoned. Following that night and her parents’ divorce, she hated her mom. All the pain led her to cope by using drugs, drinking, and sex.

Thankfully, her story transformed. In this episode, you’ll hear:

How all that trauma led her to attempt killing herself
How she opened up to her mom and dad about the way their broken marriage and divorce affected her
Why she feared marriage, but after overcoming that fear, she now has a beautiful marriage and four awesome kids

Buy Blessed Is She’s beautiful products

Book a Restored talk

Shownotes

#063: The Antidote to Trauma | Margaret Vasquez

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 04:00:00 -0700

When your parents’ marriage and family break apart, it’s traumatic for you as their son or daughter.

That trauma is not only painful, but also has devastating effects on you that last for a long time. As a result, you need to heal. But how?

Our guest today, a trauma therapist, shares the antidote or opposite of trauma. We discuss:

The 4 principles you need to live out to prevent and heal from trauma
One thing you can today, right away, to heal and grow
Why feeling worthless is a major problem that you need to address in order to feel whole again

If you want peace, freedom, and great relationships, this episode is for you.

Buy Margaret’s book: FEARLESS: Abundant Life through Infinite Love (affiliate link)

Buy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)

Shownotes

#062: The Best of 2021: Restored Podcast Highlights

Tue, 18 Jan 2022 04:00:00 -0700

In this episode, you'll hear 7 short clips from the podcast in 2021.

This episode, and the podcast as a whole, will help you heal and grow from the trauma of your parents’ divorce, separation, or broken marriage, so you can feel whole again and thrive.

If you’re new to the podcast, this is the perfect way to sample our content and learn how it will help you. If you’re a veteran listener, this is the perfect episode to share with someone you know who needs to hear it.

Thanks for listening! We do it for you.

Book a Restored talk

Shownotes

#061: Will I Always Feel Stuck? | Alexandra M

Tue, 04 Jan 2022 04:00:00 -0700

When Alexandra was in 7th grade, her parents divorced. Almost immediately, she went to counseling, which led her to believe that the effects of her parents’ divorce were in her past. She thought she was healed.

But in college, poor decisions and failed relationships showed her that perhaps it wasn’t resolved like she thought. She woke up on her birthday feeling sad and stuck, asking the question: Am I going to be in this same spot for the rest of my life?

In this episode, she shares the rest of her story and more:

How working on herself has now led her to a really beautiful, healthy relationship
How a memento from her past made her realize how much her parents’ divorce was still affecting her
The answer to “Do you hate your parents?”

#060: Divorced Parents is All I’ve Ever Known | Sydney & Daniel Binette

Tue, 21 Dec 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Since she was 2 or 3, Sydney’s parents have been divorced. It’s all she’s ever known. As a result, she spent most of her childhood living out of a suitcase between Mom and Dad’s house.

While Sydney has navigated her parents’ divorce fairly well, there have certainly been challenges. In this interview, we discuss those challenges and more:

How Sydney has kept a good relationship with her parents and stepparents
As someone from an intact home, her husband Dan talks about how the divorce has affected her and their relationship
Real and raw talk about love and marriage, especially feeling at times like it is “too hard”

Email Joey@RestoredMinistry.com to schedule a meeting

Donate to Restored | Your special gift is doubled and your monthly gift is tripled during Dec 2021

Shownotes

#059: From a Broken Family? 9 Tactics to Navigate the Holidays

Tue, 07 Dec 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Are you from a broken family? If so, you know how challenging the holidays can be. Not only is it difficult to balance time between mom and dad, but we also have to deal with any family drama. Instead of enjoying the holidays, many of us just can’t wait till they’re over.

But there is good news: it doesn’t always have to be that way. In this episode, you’ll hear 9 tactics that you can use to navigate the holidays and hopefully, enjoy them again. It won’t make them perfect, but it will make them better.

Buy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)

#058: Forgiveness: The Secret to Healing and Freedom | Fr. John Burns

Tue, 23 Nov 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Forgiving someone that wounded you is difficult. Not only is forgiveness difficult, it is often over simplified and misunderstood.

That’s why we interviewed an expert on forgiveness, who happens to be a child of divorce. In this practical episode, we address:

What exactly is forgiveness?
How to forgive through the four stages of forgiveness
Why forgiveness is good for you and unforgiveness is bad for you
How does compensation or reparation factor into forgiveness?
Practical advice to forgive someone who feels impossible to forgive

Buy Fr. John’s books: Adore: A Guided Advent Journal for Prayer and Meditation | Lift Up Your Heart: A 10-Day Personal Retreat with St. Francis de Sales

Buy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)

Shownotes

#057: How Alcoholism Broke My Family Apart | Kendra Posch

Tue, 09 Nov 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Alcoholism is a major cause of dysfunction in so many families. That was certainly true for our guest’s family.

In this episode, she shares how alcoholism played a pivotal role in the breakdown of her parents’ marriage and family. We also discuss:

Why she kept a packed bag that was always ready to go under her bed at college
What she’d say to her parents if they were listening to this episode
How she truly desires a good relationship with her parents, especially her estranged father

Share Your Story

Buy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)

Shownotes

#056: How Virtue Results in Happiness & Freedom | Dr. Andrew Swafford

Tue, 26 Oct 2021 04:00:00 -0600

Dr. Andrew Swafford came from a dysfunctional family, even though his parents never got divorced. As a result, he questioned: “Can I be a good husband and father? Or am I destined to repeat the cycle of dysfunction?”

Thankfully, he overcame those doubts and built a beautiful marriage and family. In this conversation, he shares what helped him to do just that. Plus, we discuss:

What is virtue and how do you build it?
A three part framework to know if you’ve acquired a virtue
The ultimate measure of a virtuous person
Why virtue offers you happiness and freedom
Practical tips you can use today to build virtue

Buy Dr. Swafford’s book: Spiritual Survival in the Modern World: Insights from C. S. Lewis's Screwtape Letters

Buy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)

#055: I Wish My Family Was Normal | Ashlyn Frederick

Wed, 13 Oct 2021 17:00:00 -0600

If your family is broken, you’ve probably felt like our guest today who badly wanted her family to be normal. It’s such a natural desire which goes painfully unsatisfied.

In this raw episode, we discuss:

How an affair broke her family apart and how that’s impacted her
How we often use excessive drinking to cope with our pain and what to do instead
When moving away from your family could be the right thing for a time

Buy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)

Join Restored’s Community

Get the FREE chapters from our new book, It’s Not Your Fault.

#054: How to Stop Damaging Yourself with Your Words | Chris Stefanick

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 04:00:00 -0600

If you spoke to your friends the way you spoke to yourself, would those relationships become abusive? The words you tell yourself are often filled with lies, but you might not even realize it.

But those lies become your identity, which then dictates the quality and happiness of your life. Thankfully, our guest today can help you beat the lies and discover your real identity. In this episode, we discuss:

Why it is so important to uncover the lies you believe about yourself
How it’s simple yet difficult to replace those lies with the truth
Two tactics and resources you can use today to change the way you talk to yourself and renew your identity

Buy Chris’s book: I AM: Rewrite Your Name—Reroute Your Life

Buy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce

Shownotes

The links above are Amazon affiliate links. Restored receives a commission for each purchase at no extra cost to you.

#053: Does a Lack of Peace Prove Your Relationship Isn’t Meant to Be?

Wed, 15 Sep 2021 17:00:00 -0600

Many young people from broken families struggle to discern their relationships and calling in life because they feel so anxious and uncertain. The trauma of their broken family and the effects that stem from it often interfere with their ability to discern properly.

In this episode, we dive into that and more:

Why a lack of peace isn’t an automatic indicator that a relationship or vocation isn’t meant to be
How to discern if you feel anxious and uncertain
How our desire for 100% certainty prevents us from living the life we were meant to live.

Plus, we offer a sneak preview of our brand new book, It’s Not Your Fault.

Get the FREE chapters from our new book, It’s Not Your Fault.

#052: How to Navigate Your Relationship With Your Divorced Parents

Wed, 01 Sep 2021 23:00:00 -0600

A popular question we receive from young people from broken families is “How do I help my parents and navigate my relationship with them?”

In this episode, we offer advice and answer that question. We discuss:

What to do when your parents try to enlist you in their war against each other
How to respond if your parents are asking you to make or heavily influence big decisions for them
Why you shouldn’t have to pretend everything is okay when Mom or Dad start dating someone else

Plus, we offer a sneak preview of our brand new book, It’s Not Your Fault.

#051: Music: A Powerful Tool to Help You Cope & Heal | Jenny & Tyler

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 21:00:00 -0600

Music has always been a tool to cope with the pain and problems from my parents’ divorce. Two artists whose music helped me a lot are Jenny and Tyler, a married musical duo. Their music and marriage have especially convinced me that love can last.

In this episode, they share:

Lessons they’ve learned after years in marriage that would’ve been helpful to know before they got married.
Encouragement to anyone from a broken home who’s afraid of love and marriage.
Advice to anyone who’s afraid of taking risks - as artists, they know a thing or two about taking risks

Listen to Jenny & Tyler

Let us know how Restored has helped you here.

#050: Why Didn’t You Choose Me? | Holli Lepley

Tue, 03 Aug 2021 04:00:00 -0600

For 40 years, Holli searched for help to heal from the trauma of her parents’ divorce, including 30 years of counseling. But nothing worked. She had all but lost hope when she found Restored. She claims this podcast has been more healing than 30 years of counseling.

Having struggled with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, she also shared how Restored has “literally saved my life.” If you’ve wondered how Restored can help you or someone you love or lead, this episode is for you. In it, we discuss:

How her parents’ divorce came out of the blue, which research suggests may be most damaging
How her dad’s quick remarriage hurt her as much or almost more than the divorce itself
The sense of loss she felt when she stopped seeing her siblings due to the divorce

Plus, two huge announcements at the start of the show!

#049: Healing from Your Parent’s Infidelity | Katie

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 04:00:00 -0600

What would you do if you were 12 years old and you accidentally found out that your mom is cheating on your dad? That’s the exact situation that today’s guest faced as a little girl.

We discuss how she felt that her mom not only cheated on her dad, but on her and her siblings too. Plus, we get into:

The ways in which her mom’s infidelity wounded her
How that wound was reopened when two boyfriends cheated on her in high school and college
The connection between her parents’ divorce and her desire for control in life and relationships
How on the external, everyone thought she was fine since she excelled in sports and school, but she was really hurting inside
One very common factor at the root of so many divorces and affairs

Join Restored’s community

#048: Fear Became Reality: I Am Just Like My Father | Bart Schuchts

Tue, 06 Jul 2021 12:00:00 -0600

As a boy, Bart Schuchts thought his family was normal. But in reality, it was very broken. When he was five years old, his dad left after cheating on his mom. He remembers his mom crying herself to sleep at night. Seeing the devastation his dad left, he swore to never be like him.

But in college, his worst fear came true. Sleeping around and using women, he realized: “I am just like my father.” Thankfully, his story didn’t end there. In this episode, he shares:

How he overcame his anger, lust, depression, despair, and self-hate
The hurt he felt from opening up to the wrong people about his struggles
How he learned to have compassion for his father and even forgive him

#047: How Healing Improved My Life, Marriage, and Friendships | Sandra Howlett

Tue, 22 Jun 2021 04:00:00 -0600

When your parents’ marriage breaks apart, it feels like an earthquake. The most basic foundation, your family, is shaken and shattered. It’s disorienting. It’s traumatic. As a result, we tend to go through life doubting anything can last.

But thankfully, we’re not doomed to skepticism our entire lives. We can heal and feel whole again, like our guest Sandy. In this episode, she shares:

How she beat chronic depression
How her choice to forgive her parents led to feeling free instead of stuck
The sexual mistakes she made and the healing she’s found

#046: Becoming a Great Parent: Learning from Your Parents’ Virtues and Vices | Miranda Henkel

Tue, 08 Jun 2021 04:00:00 -0600

What did you learn about parenting from your parents that you want to repeat with your kids? What do you not want to repeat?

The answers to those questions are extremely valuable in helping you become the best parent you can be. But sadly, most of us don’t dig deep enough. Today, we do by talking about:

Our experiences as new parents with babies who haven’t been born yet
Our fears about becoming parents
Answer: Do we feel more confident about marriage or parenting?
6 things kids need from their parents and how to fill those needs
Reflect on lessons learned from our parents, good and bad, and how we want to parent

Has Restored helped you? Let us know how.

Listen to The Messy Family Podcast

Shownotes

#045: How to Become the Dad You Wish You Had | Justin Batt

Tue, 25 May 2021 04:00:00 -0600

It’s no secret that we’re facing a huge crisis of fatherlessness. So many fathers have physically or emotionally abandoned their children, largely because nobody ever showed them how to be a great dad. This problem is at the root of so many issues in our world. So, what’s the solution?

In this episode, Justin Batt from Daddy Saturday offers advice and encouragement to current or future dads on how to raise good kids who become great adults. We discuss:

How do we fix the fatherlessness crisis?
Practical advice on how to become a great dad from a father who’s spent 14,000 hours and 500 intentional Saturdays with his kids
Encouragement for any men out there who feel like they don’t have what it takes to be a great father, especially because you didn’t receive it from your dad growing up

Buy the Book: Daddy Saturday

Ask Joey

#044: Practical Tips for Becoming a Great Parent | Mike & Alicia Hernon

Tue, 11 May 2021 04:00:00 -0600

For most people, becoming a parent is beautiful but also scary and intimidating. But that is especially true for people from broken families. Often, we didn’t see a great example of parenthood, so we feel lost and unsure how to do it ourselves.

In this episode, we talk parenting with Mike and Alicia Hernon, the parents of 10 kids and leaders of a ministry for parents called The Messy Family Project. We discuss:

How his parents’ divorce affected Mike as a husband and father
Fears he had about becoming a father, how he overcame them, and how you can too
Should you put your marriage first or your children first and why is that important?
Lots of practical parenting tips, especially for new parents
Encouragement if you feel like you don’t have what it takes to be a good parent because you never experienced it in your family

#043: Do You Feel Abandoned by God? | Fr. John Paul Mary

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 04:00:00 -0600

If you’re from a broken family, you likely struggle extra in your relationship with God. There are so many barriers people like us have to overcome. One barrier is feeling abandoned by God.

In this episode, a Catholic priest who is a child of divorce joins us to discuss:

How to overcome common barriers people like us face in our spiritual lives
What to do if you feel abandoned by God
How father and mother wounds impact our relationship with God
What to do if you feel far from God and want nothing to do with him

Find a spiritual director

#042: What is Broken Can Be Repaired | Shenandoah Lawson

Tue, 13 Apr 2021 18:00:00 -0600

As people from broken homes, we fear repeating the dysfunction we experienced in our families. But sometimes, we end up going down that path. Our guest today dealt with that in a very real way.

Years after her parents divorced, she found herself in the exact place she never wanted to be: Going through her own divorce, feeling so broken and empty. But thankfully, her story and her marriage’s story doesn’t end there. In this episode, you’ll hear how her marriage was rescued and more:

What was happening in her head and heart as her marriage fell apart
How she wrestled with depression, suicidal thoughts, and a bad relationship with her father
How she felt like she was inadequate and didn’t deserve love

#041: How to File the FAFSA if Your Parents are Divorced or Separated | Alex Driscoll & Mike Rossman

Wed, 31 Mar 2021 19:00:00 -0600

Statistically, children of divorce are less likely to attend college. Further, they’re less likely to receive financial support from their parents for college.

To pay for college, most young people apply for government aid by filling out the FAFSA. But if your parents are separated, divorced, or remarried, the process can seem confusing.

Today, we speak with two experts to offer guidance on:

How to answer certain FAFSA questions depending on your parents’ marriage
Myths to watch out for
Practical tips that are difficult to find on Google
A video and infographic that’ll make the process simple for you

Watch FAFSA video

View infographic

Buy the Book: Degree Free Degree [affiliate link]

Shownotes

#040: 9 Ways to Pay for Counseling

Wed, 17 Mar 2021 09:00:00 -0600

You want to go to counseling, but a massive barrier stands in the way: The price.

Therapy is not cheap. So, how are you going to pay for it? We tackle that question and more in this episode:

9 practical tips on how to pay for counseling
How much does counseling actually cost?
The info and next steps you need to pay for counseling, so you can heal and feel whole again

Find a counselor