Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse Fri, 15 May 2026 23:07:25 -0400 https://www.finding-ok.com/ en-us © 2026 Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse yes Support this Podcast 12e13d3d-28f2-5c0a-981a-21b370a32389 Hecate episodic true An intersectional healing podcast for survivors of sexual assault and any/all abuse. When survivors share, they share strength. "Finding OK" helps people navigate this difficult healing process. The focus is on recovery, self-care, empowerment, and healing. You are not alone.

]]> Buzzsprout (https://www.buzzsprout.com) healing, trauma, PTSD, sexual assault, #metoo, abuse, survivor, self-care, feminism, mental health, Queer Hecate https://storage.buzzsprout.com/b9gboqwaywfedyrw7y2xm1jr6o2y?.jpg Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse https://www.finding-ok.com/ Water Your Garden Water Your Garden Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception.

Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, coercion and deception, claiming identity and autonomy, and finding support. Therapy (including EMDR) and supportive Twitch spaces helped her reclaim her voice, streaming, and creativity; it helped her improve boundaries, grieve lost friendships, and speak publicly about rape by deception. Thicc encourages survivors to remember that healing isn’t linear, and to remember to “water your garden”.

TW/CW: Religious trauma, cults, suicide, abuse, PTSD, sexual assault, coercion and deception, substances, and strong language.

Episode Notes:

 
Thicc on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/thiccsparklebutt
Therapy for Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/
Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/
Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/CrossroadsCrowStudios
Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl... 

Timestamps:

 
00:00 Traumatic Two Step Poem 
02:12 Podcast Welcome and Guest Intro 
04:40 Trigger Warnings and Support 
05:51 Icebreaker Questions and Self Care 
11:57 Growing Up in a Cult 
17:16 Leaving and Family Fallout 
23:47 Realizing It Was a Cult 
28:50 Controlling Relationship in Atlanta 
32:38 Podcast Friend Turns Abuser 
45:32 Deception Is Not Consent 
46:26 Aftermath and Reclaiming Voice 
49:46 Therapy Journey and Healing 
53:40 Twitch As Healing 
55:22 Reclaiming Streaming 
58:41 Leaving The Ex 
01:00:39 Reclaiming Poetry 
01:03:32 Naming The Assault 
01:06:17 Speaking Out Online 
01:10:59 Friends Need Boundaries 
01:19:08 Forgiving Yourself 
01:25:31 Race And Therapy 
01:33:40 Grief And Being Undeniable 
01:39:42 Inner Child Strength 
01:42:53 Advice And Farewell 
01:45:59 Credits And Support

Support the show

]]> Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception.

Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, coercion and deception, claiming identity and autonomy, and finding support. Therapy (including EMDR) and supportive Twitch spaces helped her reclaim her voice, streaming, and creativity; it helped her improve boundaries, grieve lost friendships, and speak publicly about rape by deception. Thicc encourages survivors to remember that healing isn’t linear, and to remember to “water your garden”.

TW/CW: Religious trauma, cults, suicide, abuse, PTSD, sexual assault, coercion and deception, substances, and strong language.

Episode Notes:

 
Thicc on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/thiccsparklebutt
Therapy for Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/
Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/
Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/CrossroadsCrowStudios
Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl... 

Timestamps:

 
00:00 Traumatic Two Step Poem 
02:12 Podcast Welcome and Guest Intro 
04:40 Trigger Warnings and Support 
05:51 Icebreaker Questions and Self Care 
11:57 Growing Up in a Cult 
17:16 Leaving and Family Fallout 
23:47 Realizing It Was a Cult 
28:50 Controlling Relationship in Atlanta 
32:38 Podcast Friend Turns Abuser 
45:32 Deception Is Not Consent 
46:26 Aftermath and Reclaiming Voice 
49:46 Therapy Journey and Healing 
53:40 Twitch As Healing 
55:22 Reclaiming Streaming 
58:41 Leaving The Ex 
01:00:39 Reclaiming Poetry 
01:03:32 Naming The Assault 
01:06:17 Speaking Out Online 
01:10:59 Friends Need Boundaries 
01:19:08 Forgiving Yourself 
01:25:31 Race And Therapy 
01:33:40 Grief And Being Undeniable 
01:39:42 Inner Child Strength 
01:42:53 Advice And Farewell 
01:45:59 Credits And Support

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-18922981 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 10:00:00 -0400 6576 6 6 full true The Internalized Male Gaze and Self-Objectification The Internalized Male Gaze and Self-Objectification Join Hecate in this episode of 'Finding OK,' a healing podcast for survivors of SA and abuse, as they delve into the concept of "the male gaze", how it's internalized, its role in objectification, and its intersection with sexual healing post-trauma. Inspired by Margaret Atwood's poem from 'The Robber Bride', Hecate explores how societal beauty standards and the male gaze have influenced their self-perception, sexuality, and share reflections on their journey toward authentic pleasure and intimacy. This episode aims to provide strength and resonance for women, femmes, and AFAB individuals. Listen for powerful personal reflections on noticing and dismantling internalized patriarchal views. and a call for embracing radical self-love (it's a process).

Episode Notes:

The Male Gaze:

https://media-studies.com/male-gaze/ 

https://theconversation.com/half-a-century-of-the-male-gaze-why-laura-mulveys-pioneering-theory-still-resonates-today-256875

Miss Representation: https://therepproject.org/films/miss-representation/

It's a must watch! 

Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK 

Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/c/CrossroadsCrowStudios

Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you!

https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl...

00:00 Introduction and Poem Reading 

02:00 Podcast Introduction and Trigger Warnings 

04:11 Understanding the Male Gaze 

06:45 Personal Experiences with the Male Gaze 

11:36 Internalized Male Gaze and Self-Objectification 

13:53 Intersection with Sexuality and Body Image 

23:08 Healing and Moving Forward 

29:22 Closing Remarks and Acknowledgements

Support the show

]]> Join Hecate in this episode of 'Finding OK,' a healing podcast for survivors of SA and abuse, as they delve into the concept of "the male gaze", how it's internalized, its role in objectification, and its intersection with sexual healing post-trauma. Inspired by Margaret Atwood's poem from 'The Robber Bride', Hecate explores how societal beauty standards and the male gaze have influenced their self-perception, sexuality, and share reflections on their journey toward authentic pleasure and intimacy. This episode aims to provide strength and resonance for women, femmes, and AFAB individuals. Listen for powerful personal reflections on noticing and dismantling internalized patriarchal views. and a call for embracing radical self-love (it's a process).

Episode Notes:

The Male Gaze:

https://media-studies.com/male-gaze/ 

https://theconversation.com/half-a-century-of-the-male-gaze-why-laura-mulveys-pioneering-theory-still-resonates-today-256875

Miss Representation: https://therepproject.org/films/miss-representation/

It's a must watch! 

Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK 

Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/c/CrossroadsCrowStudios

Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you!

https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl...

00:00 Introduction and Poem Reading 

02:00 Podcast Introduction and Trigger Warnings 

04:11 Understanding the Male Gaze 

06:45 Personal Experiences with the Male Gaze 

11:36 Internalized Male Gaze and Self-Objectification 

13:53 Intersection with Sexuality and Body Image 

23:08 Healing and Moving Forward 

29:22 Closing Remarks and Acknowledgements

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-18322851 Tue, 16 Dec 2025 10:00:00 -0500 1989 6 5 full true Sexual Assault During Menstruation and Post-Trauma Triggers Sexual Assault During Menstruation and Post-Trauma Triggers In this episode Hecate discusses why menstruation can be triggering for survivors, especially for those who have been assaulted during their periods. Hecate provides statistics from medical studies indicating that a significant percentage of SA survivors were menstruating at the time of their assault. The combined social stigmas against speaking about SA and menstruation mean this is an experience that is not being talked about enough, leading to even greater feelings of isolation and shame.
The episode also addresses some of the challenges of managing periods post-trauma, and different menstrual products through a survivor’s lens. With personal anecdotes and research-backed insights, this episode aims to provide a voice to the often unspoken and overlooked intersection of menstruation and SA trauma. Hecate hopes this episode will help other survivors who have had this experience feel less alone.

Tw/Cw: SA (and some details of assaults), R*pe, PTSD, menstruation, substances, and strong language.

Links and References:

Cardenas, K., Wiersma, G., Dykema, J., Rossman, L., Fedewa, J., & Jones, J. S. (2011). 279 impact of the victim’s menstrual cycle phase on genital injuries following sexual assault. Annals of Emergency Medicine, 58(4). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.annemergmed.2011.06.309

Gollapudi, M., Thomas, A., Yogarajah, A., Ospina, D., Daher, J. C., Rahman, A., Santistevan, L., Patel, R. V., Abraham, J., Oommen, S. G., & Siddiqui, H. F. (2024). Understanding the interplay between premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) and female sexual dysfunction (FSD). Cureus, 16(6). https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.62788

Noll, J. G., Trickett, P. K., Long, J. D., Negriff, S., Susman, E. J., Shalev, I., Li, J. C., & Putnam, F. W. (2017). Childhood sexual abuse and early timing of puberty. Journal of Adolescent Health, 60(1), 65–71. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2016.09.008

Vu, A., Moaddel, V., Emmerich, B., Rossman, L., Bach, J., Seamon, J., Barnes, M., Ouellette, L., & Jones, J. (2023). Association between the victim’s menstrual cycle phase and genital injuries following sexual assault. Clinical Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 6(2), 038–042. https://doi.org/10.29328/journal.cjog.1001127

*Thank you again to my sister Chie for their invaluable help with research and citations!*

Articles about the heavy metals found in tampons:
https://factor.niehs.nih.gov/2024/8/feature/3-feature-metals-in-tampons

https://publichealth.berkeley.edu/articles/spotlight/research/first-study-to-measure-toxic-metals-in-tampons-shows-arsenic-and-lead

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160412024004355#:~:text=Across%20those%20studies%2C%20a%20range,et%20al.%2C%202022).

Lucky Iron Fish: https://luckyironlife.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorbSgfTM6sE3c6r-IRy3MNC0u-i8v-S4-s5lkZPo89aSCXJvEfj

Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/c/HecateFindingOK

Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you!
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music!
https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl...

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warnings
01:17 Menstruation and Trauma
07:47 Challenges with Sanitary Products
12:14 Personal Experiences of Assault During Menstruation
15:58 Statistics and Research on Assault During Menstruation
21:01 Triggers and Coping Mechanisms
32:08 Conclusion and Support
3

Support the show

]]> In this episode Hecate discusses why menstruation can be triggering for survivors, especially for those who have been assaulted during their periods. Hecate provides statistics from medical studies indicating that a significant percentage of SA survivors were menstruating at the time of their assault. The combined social stigmas against speaking about SA and menstruation mean this is an experience that is not being talked about enough, leading to even greater feelings of isolation and shame.
The episode also addresses some of the challenges of managing periods post-trauma, and different menstrual products through a survivor’s lens. With personal anecdotes and research-backed insights, this episode aims to provide a voice to the often unspoken and overlooked intersection of menstruation and SA trauma. Hecate hopes this episode will help other survivors who have had this experience feel less alone.

Tw/Cw: SA (and some details of assaults), R*pe, PTSD, menstruation, substances, and strong language.

Links and References:

Cardenas, K., Wiersma, G., Dykema, J., Rossman, L., Fedewa, J., & Jones, J. S. (2011). 279 impact of the victim’s menstrual cycle phase on genital injuries following sexual assault. Annals of Emergency Medicine, 58(4). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.annemergmed.2011.06.309

Gollapudi, M., Thomas, A., Yogarajah, A., Ospina, D., Daher, J. C., Rahman, A., Santistevan, L., Patel, R. V., Abraham, J., Oommen, S. G., & Siddiqui, H. F. (2024). Understanding the interplay between premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) and female sexual dysfunction (FSD). Cureus, 16(6). https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.62788

Noll, J. G., Trickett, P. K., Long, J. D., Negriff, S., Susman, E. J., Shalev, I., Li, J. C., & Putnam, F. W. (2017). Childhood sexual abuse and early timing of puberty. Journal of Adolescent Health, 60(1), 65–71. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2016.09.008

Vu, A., Moaddel, V., Emmerich, B., Rossman, L., Bach, J., Seamon, J., Barnes, M., Ouellette, L., & Jones, J. (2023). Association between the victim’s menstrual cycle phase and genital injuries following sexual assault. Clinical Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 6(2), 038–042. https://doi.org/10.29328/journal.cjog.1001127

*Thank you again to my sister Chie for their invaluable help with research and citations!*

Articles about the heavy metals found in tampons:
https://factor.niehs.nih.gov/2024/8/feature/3-feature-metals-in-tampons

https://publichealth.berkeley.edu/articles/spotlight/research/first-study-to-measure-toxic-metals-in-tampons-shows-arsenic-and-lead

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160412024004355#:~:text=Across%20those%20studies%2C%20a%20range,et%20al.%2C%202022).

Lucky Iron Fish: https://luckyironlife.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorbSgfTM6sE3c6r-IRy3MNC0u-i8v-S4-s5lkZPo89aSCXJvEfj

Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/c/HecateFindingOK

Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you!
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music!
https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl...

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warnings
01:17 Menstruation and Trauma
07:47 Challenges with Sanitary Products
12:14 Personal Experiences of Assault During Menstruation
15:58 Statistics and Research on Assault During Menstruation
21:01 Triggers and Coping Mechanisms
32:08 Conclusion and Support
3

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-17758735 Tue, 09 Sep 2025 10:00:00 -0400 2245 6 4 full true Healing Honestly Healing Honestly In this episode I speak with Alisa Zipursky about her book 'Healing Honestly,' a powerful resource for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Alisa and I discuss the legitimacy of traumatic memory, the harmful myth of False Memory Syndrome, and the journey of healing through self-acceptance and community support. Alisa shares insights on overcoming self-blame and self-shame, parenting as a survivor, and finding strength in connections. Whether you're a survivor yourself or supporting one, this episode offers valuable perspectives and reassurances. 

TW/CW: Childhood sexual abuse, Family Abuse, PTSD, Eating Disorders, body image, and strong language.

Episode Notes:

Healing Honestly by Alisa Zipursky: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/726361/healing-honestly-by-alisa-zipursky/

Alisa's Website: https://healinghonestly.com/

Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you!
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music!
https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdblxxVBeNzq1LFwzjN9g?si=G99NwDuSQBqRGWZi53BoZg


Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Opening Monologue
00:55 Welcome to Finding OK
01:13 Interview with Alisa Zipursky
03:07 Trigger Warnings and Support
04:10 Personal Reflections and Parenting
06:20 Stepping into Power and Activism
15:45 Healing and Self-Care
24:15 The Importance of Connection
42:36 Healing Without Clear Memory
51:01 The Origin of DARVO and False Memory Syndrome
52:36 The Impact of False Memory Syndrome Foundation
54:39 Media Influence and Public Perception
57:11 Personal Experiences and Societal Harm
58:56 Challenging Harmful Narratives
01:02:04 The Importance of Community and Support
01:03:46 Healing and Self-Acceptance
01:05:52 Navigating Parenthood as a CSA Survivor
01:15:02 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
01:34:58 Closing Remarks and Gratitude



Support the show

]]> In this episode I speak with Alisa Zipursky about her book 'Healing Honestly,' a powerful resource for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Alisa and I discuss the legitimacy of traumatic memory, the harmful myth of False Memory Syndrome, and the journey of healing through self-acceptance and community support. Alisa shares insights on overcoming self-blame and self-shame, parenting as a survivor, and finding strength in connections. Whether you're a survivor yourself or supporting one, this episode offers valuable perspectives and reassurances. 

TW/CW: Childhood sexual abuse, Family Abuse, PTSD, Eating Disorders, body image, and strong language.

Episode Notes:

Healing Honestly by Alisa Zipursky: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/726361/healing-honestly-by-alisa-zipursky/

Alisa's Website: https://healinghonestly.com/

Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you!
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music!
https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdblxxVBeNzq1LFwzjN9g?si=G99NwDuSQBqRGWZi53BoZg


Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Opening Monologue
00:55 Welcome to Finding OK
01:13 Interview with Alisa Zipursky
03:07 Trigger Warnings and Support
04:10 Personal Reflections and Parenting
06:20 Stepping into Power and Activism
15:45 Healing and Self-Care
24:15 The Importance of Connection
42:36 Healing Without Clear Memory
51:01 The Origin of DARVO and False Memory Syndrome
52:36 The Impact of False Memory Syndrome Foundation
54:39 Media Influence and Public Perception
57:11 Personal Experiences and Societal Harm
58:56 Challenging Harmful Narratives
01:02:04 The Importance of Community and Support
01:03:46 Healing and Self-Acceptance
01:05:52 Navigating Parenthood as a CSA Survivor
01:15:02 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
01:34:58 Closing Remarks and Gratitude



Support the show

]]> Buzzsprout-17384366 Tue, 05 Aug 2025 10:00:00 -0400 5853 6 3 full true Healing Through Art and Navigating No Contact Healing Through Art and Navigating No Contact In this episode of Finding OK, I interview Polish LGBTQ+ comic artist Monika, best known for her series 'My Secret Lesbian Comics.' Monika shares her journey as a survivor of child abuse and discusses how she processes her trauma and finds healing through her side project, 'Self-pity Social Club.' We discuss the impact of her abusive mother, the decision to go no contact, and navigating relationships within her family afterwards. Monika also shares some powerful tools from therapy, offers advice to other survivors, and talks about the importance of creativity and friendship in her healing journey. I love Monika's work and I'm so grateful I got to speak with her!

 Tw/Cw: Child abuse, PTSD, depression, suicide, and strong language.

Episode Notes:

Monika's Links: https://linktr.ee/mysecretlesbiancomics?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAae7yjg_9oQIvXxzLaaJe7wkVOTud8vqZX3JaqAaWaWBpiYc-EEZZKRhtKKmnQ_aem_QZxxyNZ_UQo6e53MXnGuug

Self-pity Social Club: https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/self-pity-social-club/list?title_no=788807

Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you!
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/


Timestamps:


00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflection

00:55 Welcome to Finding OK

01:12 Meet Monika: Polish LGBTQ+ Comic Artist

03:29 Trigger Warnings and Support

04:41 Interview Begins: Monika's Journey

04:57 Navigating Family Dynamics

06:11 Generational Shifts in Mental Health

12:29 Celebrating Compliments and Self-Care

16:22 The Birth of a Comic Artist

27:38 Self-Pity Social Club: A Personal Project

36:29 Sisterly Bonding Over a Difficult Mother

36:48 Financial Manipulation and Emotional Abuse

38:07 Moving to England and Financial Struggles

39:02 Discovering Mother's Deceit

39:41 Manipulative Pity Tactics

47:27 The Wedding Day Incident

50:51 The Fake Suicide Attempt

58:29 Cutting Ties and Setting Boundaries

01:01:22 Family Dynamics and Childhood Abuse

01:07:45 Validating Experiences and Healing

01:11:52 Family Party Drama

01:12:10 Unwanted Attention

01:12:32 Confrontation and Realization

01:13:48 Family Dynamics and Tensions

01:17:02 Listener Questions

01:17:46 Navigating No Contact

01:19:17 Handling Family Events

01:24:00 Therapy and Healing

01:32:43 Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts

01:40:53 Queer Joy and Creativity

01:43:44 Final Thoughts and Farewell






Support the show

]]> In this episode of Finding OK, I interview Polish LGBTQ+ comic artist Monika, best known for her series 'My Secret Lesbian Comics.' Monika shares her journey as a survivor of child abuse and discusses how she processes her trauma and finds healing through her side project, 'Self-pity Social Club.' We discuss the impact of her abusive mother, the decision to go no contact, and navigating relationships within her family afterwards. Monika also shares some powerful tools from therapy, offers advice to other survivors, and talks about the importance of creativity and friendship in her healing journey. I love Monika's work and I'm so grateful I got to speak with her!

 Tw/Cw: Child abuse, PTSD, depression, suicide, and strong language.

Episode Notes:

Monika's Links: https://linktr.ee/mysecretlesbiancomics?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAae7yjg_9oQIvXxzLaaJe7wkVOTud8vqZX3JaqAaWaWBpiYc-EEZZKRhtKKmnQ_aem_QZxxyNZ_UQo6e53MXnGuug

Self-pity Social Club: https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/self-pity-social-club/list?title_no=788807

Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you!
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/


Timestamps:


00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflection

00:55 Welcome to Finding OK

01:12 Meet Monika: Polish LGBTQ+ Comic Artist

03:29 Trigger Warnings and Support

04:41 Interview Begins: Monika's Journey

04:57 Navigating Family Dynamics

06:11 Generational Shifts in Mental Health

12:29 Celebrating Compliments and Self-Care

16:22 The Birth of a Comic Artist

27:38 Self-Pity Social Club: A Personal Project

36:29 Sisterly Bonding Over a Difficult Mother

36:48 Financial Manipulation and Emotional Abuse

38:07 Moving to England and Financial Struggles

39:02 Discovering Mother's Deceit

39:41 Manipulative Pity Tactics

47:27 The Wedding Day Incident

50:51 The Fake Suicide Attempt

58:29 Cutting Ties and Setting Boundaries

01:01:22 Family Dynamics and Childhood Abuse

01:07:45 Validating Experiences and Healing

01:11:52 Family Party Drama

01:12:10 Unwanted Attention

01:12:32 Confrontation and Realization

01:13:48 Family Dynamics and Tensions

01:17:02 Listener Questions

01:17:46 Navigating No Contact

01:19:17 Handling Family Events

01:24:00 Therapy and Healing

01:32:43 Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts

01:40:53 Queer Joy and Creativity

01:43:44 Final Thoughts and Farewell






Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-17181029 Tue, 01 Jul 2025 10:00:00 -0400 6491 6 2 full true Healing is a Revolutionary Act - Addressing the Rise of Fascism Healing is a Revolutionary Act - Addressing the Rise of Fascism In this episode of Finding OK, Hecate returns after a year-long hiatus to provide an update on the podcast and share personal insights on intersectionality, kyriarchy, and the importance of understanding systemic oppression as part of healing from sexual assault and abuse. Hecate discusses the interconnectedness of personal trauma and broader social injustices, and emphasizes the need for community and collective action against systems of oppression. The episode encourages listeners to engage with their communities, leverage their unique gifts for activism, and maintain hope and resilience in tough times.

Tw/Cw: Suicide, depression, PTSD, the subject of sexual assault and abuse, fascism, and genocide.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflection

00:56 Podcast Update and Mental Health Struggles

05:13 Intersectionality and Systems of Oppression

14:49 The Personal is Political

29:30 Call to Action and Community Building

35:03 Finding Connection and Staying Grounded

36:24 The Power of Authenticity

38:51 Building Community Through Twitch

42:36 Facing Fascism and Finding Resources

49:02 Supporting Palestine and Fundraising Efforts

52:14 Mental Health and Activism

56:39 The River Metaphor: Different Ways to Help

01:02:26 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Links: Podcast Website: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK 

Join Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK 

Hecate's PCRF Fundraiser: https://donate.tiltify.com/4125341b-4f0d-43e0-b017-0019a82b8dde/details 

Decolonizing Therapy: https://www.decolonizingtherapy.com/ 

Black Liturgies on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/blackliturgies/?hl=en DevthePineapple on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/devthepineapple/?hl=en Check out Signal for a secure messaging app that won't sell you or your comrades out to the cops: https://signal.org/ 

YK Hong (An activist to follow everywhere): https://ykhong.com/ 

Free Zine about fighting Fascism: https://itsgoingdown.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DontJustDoNothing_CounterFascism_IMPOSED.pdf 

Free Zine about resisting Oligarchy: https://www.instagram.com/p/DFgWbIVPfk1/?img_index=1 

Printable Brochure Version: https://www.canva.com/design/DAGdx0uhGuQ/r7PQuF6JlQG6GnzT7iwbRw/edit?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaby7YCPCiYHjNnaDNuFa8b5MwzlqI2OAIrnKGUYE9sK9ML9SVSSRkvV8mk_aem_RuQok6tkGVOdY_XtOOQgSw

Support the show

]]> In this episode of Finding OK, Hecate returns after a year-long hiatus to provide an update on the podcast and share personal insights on intersectionality, kyriarchy, and the importance of understanding systemic oppression as part of healing from sexual assault and abuse. Hecate discusses the interconnectedness of personal trauma and broader social injustices, and emphasizes the need for community and collective action against systems of oppression. The episode encourages listeners to engage with their communities, leverage their unique gifts for activism, and maintain hope and resilience in tough times.

Tw/Cw: Suicide, depression, PTSD, the subject of sexual assault and abuse, fascism, and genocide.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflection

00:56 Podcast Update and Mental Health Struggles

05:13 Intersectionality and Systems of Oppression

14:49 The Personal is Political

29:30 Call to Action and Community Building

35:03 Finding Connection and Staying Grounded

36:24 The Power of Authenticity

38:51 Building Community Through Twitch

42:36 Facing Fascism and Finding Resources

49:02 Supporting Palestine and Fundraising Efforts

52:14 Mental Health and Activism

56:39 The River Metaphor: Different Ways to Help

01:02:26 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Links: Podcast Website: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK 

Join Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK 

Hecate's PCRF Fundraiser: https://donate.tiltify.com/4125341b-4f0d-43e0-b017-0019a82b8dde/details 

Decolonizing Therapy: https://www.decolonizingtherapy.com/ 

Black Liturgies on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/blackliturgies/?hl=en DevthePineapple on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/devthepineapple/?hl=en Check out Signal for a secure messaging app that won't sell you or your comrades out to the cops: https://signal.org/ 

YK Hong (An activist to follow everywhere): https://ykhong.com/ 

Free Zine about fighting Fascism: https://itsgoingdown.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DontJustDoNothing_CounterFascism_IMPOSED.pdf 

Free Zine about resisting Oligarchy: https://www.instagram.com/p/DFgWbIVPfk1/?img_index=1 

Printable Brochure Version: https://www.canva.com/design/DAGdx0uhGuQ/r7PQuF6JlQG6GnzT7iwbRw/edit?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaby7YCPCiYHjNnaDNuFa8b5MwzlqI2OAIrnKGUYE9sK9ML9SVSSRkvV8mk_aem_RuQok6tkGVOdY_XtOOQgSw

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]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-16646822 Tue, 18 Feb 2025 17:00:00 -0500 4047 6 1 full true Let Me Prey Upon You - Healing After Clergy Abuse Let Me Prey Upon You - Healing After Clergy Abuse Sandy Phillips Kirkham is a survivor of clergy abuse and the author of, "Let Me Prey Upon You". Sandy was very active in her church growing up, her faith was the center of her life. When she was 16 her youth pastor groomed and manipulated her into a sexual relationship. After years of abuse she managed to exit the relationship and reclaim her life. Sandy kept her experience a secret for 27 years before she had to face it and begin her healing journey. Today Sandy is a strong advocate for survivors of clergy abuse as a board member of the Council Against Child Abuse and through her work with The Hope of Survivors. Today Sandy will be sharing her story, and we'll be discussing her incredibly powerful book.

Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.”

Sandy's Website: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/

Sandy's Book:
https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/

https://bookshop.org/p/books/let-me-prey-upon-you-breaking-free-from-a-minister-s-sexual-abuse-sandy-phillips-kirkham/13830913?ean=9781734195200

The Hope of Survivors: http://www.thehopeofsurvivors.org/

Council on Child Abuse: https://www.cocachild.org/

GRACE: https://www.netgrace.org/

SNAP: https://www.snapnetwork.org/

Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/
Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Support the podcast and become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Finding OK is funded entirely by the generosity of listeners like you!
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3


Support the show

]]> Sandy Phillips Kirkham is a survivor of clergy abuse and the author of, "Let Me Prey Upon You". Sandy was very active in her church growing up, her faith was the center of her life. When she was 16 her youth pastor groomed and manipulated her into a sexual relationship. After years of abuse she managed to exit the relationship and reclaim her life. Sandy kept her experience a secret for 27 years before she had to face it and begin her healing journey. Today Sandy is a strong advocate for survivors of clergy abuse as a board member of the Council Against Child Abuse and through her work with The Hope of Survivors. Today Sandy will be sharing her story, and we'll be discussing her incredibly powerful book.

Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.”

Sandy's Website: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/

Sandy's Book:
https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/

https://bookshop.org/p/books/let-me-prey-upon-you-breaking-free-from-a-minister-s-sexual-abuse-sandy-phillips-kirkham/13830913?ean=9781734195200

The Hope of Survivors: http://www.thehopeofsurvivors.org/

Council on Child Abuse: https://www.cocachild.org/

GRACE: https://www.netgrace.org/

SNAP: https://www.snapnetwork.org/

Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/
Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Support the podcast and become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Finding OK is funded entirely by the generosity of listeners like you!
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3


Support the show

]]> Sandy Phillips Kirkham Buzzsprout-13611362 Tue, 17 Oct 2023 09:00:00 -0400 5598 5 6 full false Escaping Fundamentalism and Speaking Out - Part 2 Escaping Fundamentalism and Speaking Out - Part 2 Part 2 of my interview with Andrew Pledger. This episode will focus on Andrew's experience with conversion therapy,  how he found support exiting fundamentalism, his expulsion from BJU,  and the work he's doing healing and speaking out. Andrew was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong.

Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/
Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/links

Andrew's Podcasts-

Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6
Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledger

Andrew's Interview with Josh Harris
https://youtu.be/qRwx4OoS2aM?si=Qtv8ifHW5vICIB9W

The Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

Conversion Therapy
https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy

Pattern of Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/narcissistic-relationship-pattern

Hypnotherapy for Trauma
https://psychcentral.com/health/hypnotherapy-trauma#hypnotherapy-for-treating-trauma

IndoctriNation Podcast
https://www.podpage.com/indoctrination/

Deconstruction Reddit Threads
https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/

https://www.reddit.com/r/cultsurvivors/?xpromo_edp=enabled


Finding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3

Support the show

]]> Part 2 of my interview with Andrew Pledger. This episode will focus on Andrew's experience with conversion therapy,  how he found support exiting fundamentalism, his expulsion from BJU,  and the work he's doing healing and speaking out. Andrew was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong.

Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/
Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/links

Andrew's Podcasts-

Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6
Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledger

Andrew's Interview with Josh Harris
https://youtu.be/qRwx4OoS2aM?si=Qtv8ifHW5vICIB9W

The Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

Conversion Therapy
https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy

Pattern of Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/narcissistic-relationship-pattern

Hypnotherapy for Trauma
https://psychcentral.com/health/hypnotherapy-trauma#hypnotherapy-for-treating-trauma

IndoctriNation Podcast
https://www.podpage.com/indoctrination/

Deconstruction Reddit Threads
https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/

https://www.reddit.com/r/cultsurvivors/?xpromo_edp=enabled


Finding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3

Support the show

]]> Andrew Pledger Buzzsprout-13500936 Thu, 31 Aug 2023 10:00:00 -0400 6643 5 5 full true Escaping Fundamentalism and Speaking Out - Part 1 Escaping Fundamentalism and Speaking Out - Part 1 Andrew Pledger was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong. Andrew and I had a wonderful talk which I'll be sharing in two parts. This episode is focused on Andrew's experience of being raised in a Christian cult (IFB), the effect indoctrination had on his mental health, and his time at BJU up until the pandemic. The rest of his story will air next week.

Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/
Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/links

Andrew's Podcasts-

Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6
Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledger

Subjects that came up in discussion-

Family Research Council:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Research_Council
https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/group/family-research-council

Institute in Basic Life Principles & Bill Gothard:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institute_in_Basic_Life_Principles
https://people.com/who-is-bill-gothard-the-institute-in-basic-life-principles-founder-7506014

Umbrella of Authority:
https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/05/umbrella-of-oppression/

Focus on the Family: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focus_on_the_Family

GRACE Reports: https://www.netgrace.org/investigation-archive

The Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

Finding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3





Support the show

]]> Andrew Pledger was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong. Andrew and I had a wonderful talk which I'll be sharing in two parts. This episode is focused on Andrew's experience of being raised in a Christian cult (IFB), the effect indoctrination had on his mental health, and his time at BJU up until the pandemic. The rest of his story will air next week.

Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/
Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/links

Andrew's Podcasts-

Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6
Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledger

Subjects that came up in discussion-

Family Research Council:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Research_Council
https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/group/family-research-council

Institute in Basic Life Principles & Bill Gothard:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institute_in_Basic_Life_Principles
https://people.com/who-is-bill-gothard-the-institute-in-basic-life-principles-founder-7506014

Umbrella of Authority:
https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/05/umbrella-of-oppression/

Focus on the Family: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focus_on_the_Family

GRACE Reports: https://www.netgrace.org/investigation-archive

The Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

Finding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Become a Patreon member!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3





Support the show

]]> Andrew Pledger Buzzsprout-13359623 Thu, 24 Aug 2023 09:00:00 -0400 7835 5 4 full true Raising Yourself Raising Yourself Alice Cottonsox joins me to talk about recovering from childhood abuse, battling Agoraphobia, and facing online hate with humor. Alice is very open about her mental health struggles in her viral videos and she's helping many survivors feel less alone. Alice is being her own parent and raising herself, something that we sometimes have to do post-trauma when prolonged abuse as children has robbed us of the opportunity to grow up the way we deserved. 

Alice's Website: https://www.cottonsox.co.uk/
Alice's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland?lang=en
Alice's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alicecottonsox/

Here are some of my favorites of her videos!
Going Outside:
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7197807235156757765?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7238978249345289498?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7237546556323384603?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7213016240347024645?lang=en

Trauma Talk:
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7217381847066479878?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7241885515643899163?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7191874000010743046?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7188860104647757061?lang=en

Alice Being Awesome
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7227840114544741659?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7194465830086774022?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7174066013716286725?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7155122264155884805?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7154382013007482118?lang=en

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Become a Patreon Member: https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3

Support the show

]]> Alice Cottonsox joins me to talk about recovering from childhood abuse, battling Agoraphobia, and facing online hate with humor. Alice is very open about her mental health struggles in her viral videos and she's helping many survivors feel less alone. Alice is being her own parent and raising herself, something that we sometimes have to do post-trauma when prolonged abuse as children has robbed us of the opportunity to grow up the way we deserved. 

Alice's Website: https://www.cottonsox.co.uk/
Alice's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland?lang=en
Alice's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alicecottonsox/

Here are some of my favorites of her videos!
Going Outside:
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7197807235156757765?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7238978249345289498?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7237546556323384603?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7213016240347024645?lang=en

Trauma Talk:
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7217381847066479878?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7241885515643899163?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7191874000010743046?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7188860104647757061?lang=en

Alice Being Awesome
https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7227840114544741659?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7194465830086774022?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7174066013716286725?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7155122264155884805?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7154382013007482118?lang=en

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Become a Patreon Member: https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3

Support the show

]]> Alice Cottonsox Buzzsprout-13020179 Tue, 08 Aug 2023 09:00:00 -0400 3336 5 3 full true Broken vs. Wounded Broken vs. Wounded Do you think of yourself as "broken" because of your trauma? What about "wounded"? My sister Chie and I discuss how the language we use to talk about our trauma intersects with our healing. This episode is an invitation to investigate the hidden meaning that some words might be holding for us. I used to think of myself as broken but gradually shifted away from that term as I healed because I realized that for me personally, it implied irreparable harm or uselessness. Chie has very different experience of the word and we share stories that might help you ask yourself some important questions.
 Chie  has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies.

Questions I encourage listeners to ask themselves at the end of the episode:
1. What words do I use to talk about my pain or trauma?
2. Do these words have any hidden implications that I might not have considered?
3. How does my culture interact with broken things?
4. How did my family or the people who raised me interact with broken things when I was growing up?
5.  How do my own experiences or medical history impact the way I think about the words, "broken" or "wounded"?
6. Do the words I’m using to talk about my trauma keep me in an old thought pattern?
7. Are the words I’m using to talk about my trauma healthy or useful to me? Do they need to change?
8. What body system do I most relate to and why?

Learn more about the history of Kintsugi and see a Master at work:
https://traditionalkyoto.com/culture/kintsugi/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LMKGte0UU

Podcast Website
https://www.finding-ok.com/

Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project and an invitation for communal catharsis and healing. Listeners are invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser and send it to me. At the end of the Season all the letters will be read and then burned in a special episode. Learn more about how to participate here: INSERT LINK

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Join the Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Thank you so much for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself <3


Support the show

]]> Do you think of yourself as "broken" because of your trauma? What about "wounded"? My sister Chie and I discuss how the language we use to talk about our trauma intersects with our healing. This episode is an invitation to investigate the hidden meaning that some words might be holding for us. I used to think of myself as broken but gradually shifted away from that term as I healed because I realized that for me personally, it implied irreparable harm or uselessness. Chie has very different experience of the word and we share stories that might help you ask yourself some important questions.
 Chie  has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies.

Questions I encourage listeners to ask themselves at the end of the episode:
1. What words do I use to talk about my pain or trauma?
2. Do these words have any hidden implications that I might not have considered?
3. How does my culture interact with broken things?
4. How did my family or the people who raised me interact with broken things when I was growing up?
5.  How do my own experiences or medical history impact the way I think about the words, "broken" or "wounded"?
6. Do the words I’m using to talk about my trauma keep me in an old thought pattern?
7. Are the words I’m using to talk about my trauma healthy or useful to me? Do they need to change?
8. What body system do I most relate to and why?

Learn more about the history of Kintsugi and see a Master at work:
https://traditionalkyoto.com/culture/kintsugi/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LMKGte0UU

Podcast Website
https://www.finding-ok.com/

Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project and an invitation for communal catharsis and healing. Listeners are invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser and send it to me. At the end of the Season all the letters will be read and then burned in a special episode. Learn more about how to participate here: INSERT LINK

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Join the Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Thank you so much for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself <3


Support the show

]]> Chie Buzzsprout-12312105 Tue, 25 Jul 2023 10:00:00 -0400 1260 5 2 full true Personal Update - Witches, Crows, Art, and Growth Personal Update - Witches, Crows, Art, and Growth I'm back! Welcome to Season 5! Today I'll be sharing some of what I got up to over my break, letting you know what's new in Season 5, and talking about what's alive for me in my personal healing journey right now.
In March my sister Chie and I attended Paganicon 2023, an annual Pagan Convention in the Twin Cities. I know a lot of you have been waiting to hear more about this witchy gathering! I let you know which rituals, workshops, and lectures I attended and which ones were my favorites. I share some of my time at the family cabin in Wisconsin, my progress befriending my local murder of crows, joining my local printmaking studio, and a surprising moment of post traumatic growth and healing I had recently. I'm so excited to be back! Let's gooooo

 Paganicon
https://tcpaganpride.org/paganicon-landing-page/

Laura Tempest Zakroff
https://lauratempestzakroff.com/
Art and Shop
https://owlkeyme.square.site/

Omega Artworks - Ritual Blades
https://www.omegaartworks.com/

Watchful Coyote - Jack
https://healthecycle.com/
TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@watchfulcoyote?lang=en

I Got Out
http://www.igotout.org/

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Join Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

Support the show

]]> I'm back! Welcome to Season 5! Today I'll be sharing some of what I got up to over my break, letting you know what's new in Season 5, and talking about what's alive for me in my personal healing journey right now.
In March my sister Chie and I attended Paganicon 2023, an annual Pagan Convention in the Twin Cities. I know a lot of you have been waiting to hear more about this witchy gathering! I let you know which rituals, workshops, and lectures I attended and which ones were my favorites. I share some of my time at the family cabin in Wisconsin, my progress befriending my local murder of crows, joining my local printmaking studio, and a surprising moment of post traumatic growth and healing I had recently. I'm so excited to be back! Let's gooooo

 Paganicon
https://tcpaganpride.org/paganicon-landing-page/

Laura Tempest Zakroff
https://lauratempestzakroff.com/
Art and Shop
https://owlkeyme.square.site/

Omega Artworks - Ritual Blades
https://www.omegaartworks.com/

Watchful Coyote - Jack
https://healthecycle.com/
TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@watchfulcoyote?lang=en

I Got Out
http://www.igotout.org/

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Join Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-13204482 Tue, 11 Jul 2023 19:00:00 -0400 3128 5 1 full true Gratitude and Personal Updates Gratitude and Personal Updates This is the last episode of Season 4! Today I'll be taking some time to thank everyone who made this season possible, updating you about how I'm doing, and what I'll be getting up to over break!
New episodes will resume in July 2023. Just because there aren't new episodes doesn't mean there isn't new content! I'm taking time during break to practice self-care, focus on personal growth, and to doing lots of new and exciting things! You can check it out by following me on Twitch and Instagram, or joining Discord or Patreon.
I livestream on Twitch multiple times a week and you can still catch me there. Thank you all so much for making this season so special. While this break happens please remember that you are not alone! Please take care of yourself!

Survivor Support and Resources
https://www.rainn.org/

The planner I use
https://passionplanner.com/

Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist by Ramshackle Glory
https://youtu.be/pC3IrqUpm9U

Ramshackle Glory
https://ramshackleglory.bandcamp.com/

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Follow Sage on Twitch and join the weekly Twitch and Paint event!
https://www.twitch.tv/sagecirce

Follow me on twitch too! My paint stream is on 3/25/23
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

A friend and fellow survivor wrote this beautiful book of poetry! Check it out!
https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Dare-Teach-Daughter-Forest/dp/172595933X

Join Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Thank you for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself!

Support the show

]]> This is the last episode of Season 4! Today I'll be taking some time to thank everyone who made this season possible, updating you about how I'm doing, and what I'll be getting up to over break!
New episodes will resume in July 2023. Just because there aren't new episodes doesn't mean there isn't new content! I'm taking time during break to practice self-care, focus on personal growth, and to doing lots of new and exciting things! You can check it out by following me on Twitch and Instagram, or joining Discord or Patreon.
I livestream on Twitch multiple times a week and you can still catch me there. Thank you all so much for making this season so special. While this break happens please remember that you are not alone! Please take care of yourself!

Survivor Support and Resources
https://www.rainn.org/

The planner I use
https://passionplanner.com/

Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist by Ramshackle Glory
https://youtu.be/pC3IrqUpm9U

Ramshackle Glory
https://ramshackleglory.bandcamp.com/

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Follow Sage on Twitch and join the weekly Twitch and Paint event!
https://www.twitch.tv/sagecirce

Follow me on twitch too! My paint stream is on 3/25/23
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

A friend and fellow survivor wrote this beautiful book of poetry! Check it out!
https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Dare-Teach-Daughter-Forest/dp/172595933X

Join Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Thank you for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself!

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-12303204 Wed, 22 Feb 2023 10:00:00 -0500 3475 4 15 full true Letters for the Fire Letters for the Fire Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project. Listeners were invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser, and I promised to read them before burning them in a ritual. The goal is to create a community opportunity for catharsis, release, and healing. Today I will be reading your letters so your words can be heard.

A video of the letter burning ritual will be made available later. A link will be included in episode notes when it is ready.

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Join the Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3

Support the show

]]> Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project. Listeners were invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser, and I promised to read them before burning them in a ritual. The goal is to create a community opportunity for catharsis, release, and healing. Today I will be reading your letters so your words can be heard.

A video of the letter burning ritual will be made available later. A link will be included in episode notes when it is ready.

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Join the Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself <3

Support the show

]]> Buzzsprout-12202199 Tue, 07 Feb 2023 10:00:00 -0500 2459 4 14 full true Did The Best I Could & Doing The Best I Can Did The Best I Could & Doing The Best I Can Ruth is a survivor who has been facing her past and doing the work. She's a listener who is sharing some of her story and discussing some of the steps she's been taking in her life to heal. She's been meeting her trauma with courage, humanity, and grace that I know others will find inspiring. We discuss her assault by a family member, how her recent meeting with him went, her experiences within the Salvation Army Church, how Purity Culture has affected her, her struggles with suicidal ideation, and her experience with EMDR therapy. Ruth speaks so honestly and openly about the struggles we all face as survivors and I know her words and experiences will resonate with others.
Ruth is a Midwesterner who enjoys music, singing, painting, and taking walks in the woods. She has an interest in studying reptiles and amphibians in the future. She has a fluffy orange cat named Wesley Besley who keeps her warm and loved on. Ruth is still in the midst of her healing journey after multiple sexual assaults throughout the first 20 years of her life. She is sharing her story to let some shame go, and to help other survivors feel less alone.

Salvation Army Rules "Soldier's Covenant"
https://www.salvationarmy.org/ihq/56C765982907E8E6802573B1004E4E37

Salvation Army Sucks
https://imgur.com/gallery/7OZCIOM

https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/16/21003560/salvation-army-anti-lgbtq-controversies-donations

Me Too Many Voices Community Support Network - Love them! Give them a follow!
https://www.instagram.com/mtmvcommunity/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CgdIqU4sW3N/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Judith Slaying Holofernes by Artemisia Gentileschi
https://smarthistory.org/gentileschi-judith-slaying-holofernes/

Inner Decay - Where to find the patch! Let's start a gang! lol
https://innerdecay.com/

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Join the Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the show

]]> Ruth is a survivor who has been facing her past and doing the work. She's a listener who is sharing some of her story and discussing some of the steps she's been taking in her life to heal. She's been meeting her trauma with courage, humanity, and grace that I know others will find inspiring. We discuss her assault by a family member, how her recent meeting with him went, her experiences within the Salvation Army Church, how Purity Culture has affected her, her struggles with suicidal ideation, and her experience with EMDR therapy. Ruth speaks so honestly and openly about the struggles we all face as survivors and I know her words and experiences will resonate with others.
Ruth is a Midwesterner who enjoys music, singing, painting, and taking walks in the woods. She has an interest in studying reptiles and amphibians in the future. She has a fluffy orange cat named Wesley Besley who keeps her warm and loved on. Ruth is still in the midst of her healing journey after multiple sexual assaults throughout the first 20 years of her life. She is sharing her story to let some shame go, and to help other survivors feel less alone.

Salvation Army Rules "Soldier's Covenant"
https://www.salvationarmy.org/ihq/56C765982907E8E6802573B1004E4E37

Salvation Army Sucks
https://imgur.com/gallery/7OZCIOM

https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/16/21003560/salvation-army-anti-lgbtq-controversies-donations

Me Too Many Voices Community Support Network - Love them! Give them a follow!
https://www.instagram.com/mtmvcommunity/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CgdIqU4sW3N/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Judith Slaying Holofernes by Artemisia Gentileschi
https://smarthistory.org/gentileschi-judith-slaying-holofernes/

Inner Decay - Where to find the patch! Let's start a gang! lol
https://innerdecay.com/

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Join the Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the show

]]> Ruth Buzzsprout-12149834 Tue, 31 Jan 2023 11:00:00 -0500 4834 4 13 full true Self-Care and Emotional Regulation Self-Care and Emotional Regulation My sister Chie joins me to talk about our evolving understanding of self-care and emotional regulation. We are both survivors navigating life and CPTSD. I hope you'll join us for some laughter and real talk.
Chie  has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies.

Internal Family Systems Therapy
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy

Spoon Theory
https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Assertive Communication - DBT "Dear Man"
https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php

Curable App - Chronic Pain App (Chie recommends)
https://www.curablehealth.com/?gclid=CjwKCAiA5Y6eBhAbEiwA_2ZWIaUxUI-x1o1YSUpLLMhLeSdP70UiI0-_Dd8-vDyXrLwBWAFAkjJB8xoCJmEQAvD_BwE

TED Talk - Music and the Brain
https://www.ted.com/talks/anita_collins_how_playing_an_instrument_benefits_your_brain?language=en

I Sing the Body Electric, Especially When My Power's Out - Andrea Gibson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAySTOeC2NY

Support the show

]]> My sister Chie joins me to talk about our evolving understanding of self-care and emotional regulation. We are both survivors navigating life and CPTSD. I hope you'll join us for some laughter and real talk.
Chie  has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies.

Internal Family Systems Therapy
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy

Spoon Theory
https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Assertive Communication - DBT "Dear Man"
https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php

Curable App - Chronic Pain App (Chie recommends)
https://www.curablehealth.com/?gclid=CjwKCAiA5Y6eBhAbEiwA_2ZWIaUxUI-x1o1YSUpLLMhLeSdP70UiI0-_Dd8-vDyXrLwBWAFAkjJB8xoCJmEQAvD_BwE

TED Talk - Music and the Brain
https://www.ted.com/talks/anita_collins_how_playing_an_instrument_benefits_your_brain?language=en

I Sing the Body Electric, Especially When My Power's Out - Andrea Gibson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAySTOeC2NY

Support the show

]]> Chie Buzzsprout-12047661 Tue, 17 Jan 2023 10:00:00 -0500 5817 4 12 full true The Recloseted Lesbian - Processing Trauma Through Art and Storytelling The Recloseted Lesbian - Processing Trauma Through Art and Storytelling Obelis is a Lithuanian Fantasy and LGBTQ+ comic artist. Her work includes War & Tea, Meow Are You?, and The Recloseted Lesbian. Obelis tried to come out as a lesbian but was forced back into the closet by her ultra-religious, homophobic, and abusive mother. In The Recloseted Lesbian she deconstructs and processes memories from her abusive childhood. It has been read by over 21 million people on Webtoon. As she does her own trauma work she is helping survivors feel less alone.

Obelis Linktree
https://linktr.ee/Obelis

The Recloseted Lesbian on Webtoon
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-recloseted-lesbian/list?
title_no=474263

Obelis on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/obelis.art/

Obelis Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/obelis/posts

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Join Hecate's Patreon to support the podcast and gain access to bonus content.
New $1 Tier!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Hecate Livestreams!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Hecate's new YouTube!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7XjO5ELI7a5yuWAtcHr1Q

Thank you so much for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself.

Support the show

]]> Obelis is a Lithuanian Fantasy and LGBTQ+ comic artist. Her work includes War & Tea, Meow Are You?, and The Recloseted Lesbian. Obelis tried to come out as a lesbian but was forced back into the closet by her ultra-religious, homophobic, and abusive mother. In The Recloseted Lesbian she deconstructs and processes memories from her abusive childhood. It has been read by over 21 million people on Webtoon. As she does her own trauma work she is helping survivors feel less alone.

Obelis Linktree
https://linktr.ee/Obelis

The Recloseted Lesbian on Webtoon
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-recloseted-lesbian/list?
title_no=474263

Obelis on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/obelis.art/

Obelis Patreon
https://www.patreon.com/obelis/posts

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Join Hecate's Patreon to support the podcast and gain access to bonus content.
New $1 Tier!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Hecate Livestreams!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Hecate's new YouTube!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7XjO5ELI7a5yuWAtcHr1Q

Thank you so much for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself.

Support the show

]]> Obelis Buzzsprout-11848872 Tue, 03 Jan 2023 10:00:00 -0500 4130 4 11 full false Claiming Freedom - Letting Go of Shame and Blame Claiming Freedom - Letting Go of Shame and Blame Kalpashree Gupta joins me to share her journey in healing from childhood sexual abuse. We discuss letting go of shame and blame, what forgiveness means to her, breaking cycles of family trauma, and where she's found strength, grace, and empowerment.
Kalpa is the CEO and founder of Knekxt Group, a consulting and coaching company helping her clients build trust, and mitigate risks while also creating internal awareness for the high achievers who, like herself, have used their achievements to deflect from dealing with trauma. Her mission is to impact 100 million lives in 10 years. Prior to that, she led several leadership roles with fortune 500 companies such as American Express, Zelle/Early Warning Services, in product and fraud risk management, including early career with GE in India, and brief stints with Bristol Myers Squibb, and Mayo Clinic in brand management and consulting.

Knekxt Group
https://knekxt.com/

Book of Forgiving
https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-book-of-forgiving-the-fourfold-path-for-healing-ourselves-and-our-world-desmond-tutu/15542765?ean=9780062203571

The Body Keeps the Score
https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-body-keeps-the-score-brain-mind-and-body-in-the-healing-of-trauma-bessel-van-der-kolk/6679040?ean=9780143127741

Waking the Tiger
https://bookshop.org/p/books/waking-the-tiger-healing-trauma-the-innate-capacity-to-transform-overwhelming-experiences-peter-a-levine/8303096

The Drama of the Gifted Child
https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-drama-of-the-gifted-child-the-search-for-the-true-self-third-edition-alice-miller/12380815?ean=9780465016907&gclid=CjwKCAiAy_CcBhBeEiwAcoMRHPkGNIsrj529Y5B_q_aw1bmH2V3tKRCaN0y6wXJWYOlooLVrW5i3jRoCCPkQAvD_BwE

ACE Test and Article
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean

TED Talk - Nadine Burke Harris - How childhood trauma affects health accross a lifetime
https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime?language=en

Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/

Join Hecate's Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Hecate Livestreams on Twitch!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Hecate's new YouTube! Click subscribe to help it grow!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7XjO5ELI7a5yuWAtcHr1Q

Happy Holidays everyone! BLM. Take care of yourself

Support the show

]]> Kalpashree Gupta joins me to share her journey in healing from childhood sexual abuse. We discuss letting go of shame and blame, what forgiveness means to her, breaking cycles of family trauma, and where she's found strength, grace, and empowerment.
Kalpa is the CEO and founder of Knekxt Group, a consulting and coaching company helping her clients build trust, and mitigate risks while also creating internal awareness for the high achievers who, like herself, have used their achievements to deflect from dealing with trauma. Her mission is to impact 100 million lives in 10 years. Prior to that, she led several leadership roles with fortune 500 companies such as American Express, Zelle/Early Warning Services, in product and fraud risk management, including early career with GE in India, and brief stints with Bristol Myers Squibb, and Mayo Clinic in brand management and consulting.

Knekxt Group
https://knekxt.com/

Book of Forgiving
https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-book-of-forgiving-the-fourfold-path-for-healing-ourselves-and-our-world-desmond-tutu/15542765?ean=9780062203571

The Body Keeps the Score
https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-body-keeps-the-score-brain-mind-and-body-in-the-healing-of-trauma-bessel-van-der-kolk/6679040?ean=9780143127741

Waking the Tiger
https://bookshop.org/p/books/waking-the-tiger-healing-trauma-the-innate-capacity-to-transform-overwhelming-experiences-peter-a-levine/8303096

The Drama of the Gifted Child
https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-drama-of-the-gifted-child-the-search-for-the-true-self-third-edition-alice-miller/12380815?ean=9780465016907&gclid=CjwKCAiAy_CcBhBeEiwAcoMRHPkGNIsrj529Y5B_q_aw1bmH2V3tKRCaN0y6wXJWYOlooLVrW5i3jRoCCPkQAvD_BwE

ACE Test and Article
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean

TED Talk - Nadine Burke Harris - How childhood trauma affects health accross a lifetime
https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime?language=en

Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/

Join Hecate's Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Hecate Livestreams on Twitch!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Hecate's new YouTube! Click subscribe to help it grow!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7XjO5ELI7a5yuWAtcHr1Q

Happy Holidays everyone! BLM. Take care of yourself

Support the show

]]> Kalpashree Gupta Buzzsprout-11879591 Tue, 20 Dec 2022 10:00:00 -0500 4874 4 10 full false One Life One Heart One Life One Heart Michelle M. Kang is the founder and president of One Life One Heart, a nonprofit organization which helps underserved sexual abuse survivors by offering culturally sensitive community support. She has dedicated herself to creating safe spaces where survivors can feel heard, regain their self-confidence, and fulfill their purpose in life.
Michelle was born in South Korea, she has PhDs in Linguistics and Education, and she is the current Dean of the School of Foreign Languages at Saigon International University in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. In this episode she talks about how the trauma of childhood sibling sexual assault affected her, and the powerful role that faith has played in her healing. She discusses the work that she does with One Life One Heart and shares her passion for supporting survivors.

One Life One Heart
https://onelifeoneheartinternational.org/

Michelle's Story - She has a book!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1543114660/

Learn More: Child Sexual Abuse
https://www.rainn.org/articles/child-sexual-abuse

Learn More: Incest
https://www.rainn.org/articles/incest

Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Become a Patreon Member to support the podcast and gain access to bonus content!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Twitch Livestreams with Hecate!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

New Finding OK You Tube Channel!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7XjO5ELI7a5yuWAtcHr1Q

Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself.

Support the show

]]> Michelle M. Kang is the founder and president of One Life One Heart, a nonprofit organization which helps underserved sexual abuse survivors by offering culturally sensitive community support. She has dedicated herself to creating safe spaces where survivors can feel heard, regain their self-confidence, and fulfill their purpose in life.
Michelle was born in South Korea, she has PhDs in Linguistics and Education, and she is the current Dean of the School of Foreign Languages at Saigon International University in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. In this episode she talks about how the trauma of childhood sibling sexual assault affected her, and the powerful role that faith has played in her healing. She discusses the work that she does with One Life One Heart and shares her passion for supporting survivors.

One Life One Heart
https://onelifeoneheartinternational.org/

Michelle's Story - She has a book!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1543114660/

Learn More: Child Sexual Abuse
https://www.rainn.org/articles/child-sexual-abuse

Learn More: Incest
https://www.rainn.org/articles/incest

Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Become a Patreon Member to support the podcast and gain access to bonus content!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Twitch Livestreams with Hecate!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

New Finding OK You Tube Channel!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7XjO5ELI7a5yuWAtcHr1Q

Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself.

Support the show

]]> Michelle M. Kang Buzzsprout-11801709 Tue, 06 Dec 2022 10:00:00 -0500 4463 4 9 full false Reclaiming Power - Talking Shit With P Reclaiming Power - Talking Shit With P Paula Mulamula is the host of the Mental Health podcast, Talk Shit With P where she focuses on real talk and breaking the stigma surrounding mental health issues. Today Paula is breaking her silence and sharing her story of surviving sexual assault and reclaiming her power post-trauma.  She also shares how podcasting helped her find her way out of depression, how faith has re-entered her life and become a part of her healing, and how self-care helps her through the difficult times in life.
Paula is originally from Tanzania, she has traveled and lived all over the world and now makes her home in Atlanta, Georgia where she talks shit and is fabulous.

Talk Shit With P
https://open.spotify.com/show/0HSn3hI86EWSQmpYgBFjL9

Hecate's Guest Episodes on TSWP
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBEx?si=1c669cb97d8d4570

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0jjng1kpPhETrFOHznlGXz?si=d-AYRUVJQCa7SkJwTzg27Q

TSWP Merch
https://talkshitwithp.shop/

Press on Paula
https://canvasrebel.com/meet-paula-sima-mulamula/

https://herforward.com/a-mental-health-advocate-suggests-talking-shit/

Paula's Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/talkshitwithp

Buy Paula a Coffee!
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/talkshitwithp

Paula's Links
https://www.flowcode.com/page/talkshitwithp

Testing and Reporting Info (USA)
https://www.rainn.org/articles/rape-kit

Join Hecate on Twitch 11/29/22 @8p EST for a special Finding OK Livestream Q&A with special guest, Kaitlin Bellamy from episodes "Purity Culture is Grooming Parts 1&2". Join us in chat and ask us anything!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Finding OK Letters for the Fire Project - Deadline for Entries is 12/31/22
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Become a Patreon Member to support Finding OK and gain access to bonus content
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK


Support the show

]]> Paula Mulamula is the host of the Mental Health podcast, Talk Shit With P where she focuses on real talk and breaking the stigma surrounding mental health issues. Today Paula is breaking her silence and sharing her story of surviving sexual assault and reclaiming her power post-trauma.  She also shares how podcasting helped her find her way out of depression, how faith has re-entered her life and become a part of her healing, and how self-care helps her through the difficult times in life.
Paula is originally from Tanzania, she has traveled and lived all over the world and now makes her home in Atlanta, Georgia where she talks shit and is fabulous.

Talk Shit With P
https://open.spotify.com/show/0HSn3hI86EWSQmpYgBFjL9

Hecate's Guest Episodes on TSWP
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBEx?si=1c669cb97d8d4570

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0jjng1kpPhETrFOHznlGXz?si=d-AYRUVJQCa7SkJwTzg27Q

TSWP Merch
https://talkshitwithp.shop/

Press on Paula
https://canvasrebel.com/meet-paula-sima-mulamula/

https://herforward.com/a-mental-health-advocate-suggests-talking-shit/

Paula's Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/talkshitwithp

Buy Paula a Coffee!
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/talkshitwithp

Paula's Links
https://www.flowcode.com/page/talkshitwithp

Testing and Reporting Info (USA)
https://www.rainn.org/articles/rape-kit

Join Hecate on Twitch 11/29/22 @8p EST for a special Finding OK Livestream Q&A with special guest, Kaitlin Bellamy from episodes "Purity Culture is Grooming Parts 1&2". Join us in chat and ask us anything!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Finding OK Letters for the Fire Project - Deadline for Entries is 12/31/22
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Become a Patreon Member to support Finding OK and gain access to bonus content
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK


Support the show

]]> Paula Mulamula Buzzsprout-11711623 Tue, 22 Nov 2022 10:00:00 -0500 7271 4 8 full true Healing After Family Abuse Healing After Family Abuse Emi is a survivor of family sexual abuse; she was molested by a family member over a long period of time as a young kid. After spending over a decade hiding from her past she decided to try to heal from it. Her healing journey led her to starting her own podcast: Motherful: Powerful Moms, Powerful Topics. Her co-host is her best friend Kayla, together they tackle the many difficult social and mental health issues that have affected their lives and made them who they are. In this episode Emi shares her story of surviving family childhood sexual abuse, she talks about how disclosing changed her family forever, discusses the pain of discovering her abuser was being protected by a family member, shares her journey becoming a parent, explains how how podcast came into being, and shares what her healing journey has looked like.

Emi is a mom, a podcaster, writer, wedding planner, a cat lover, and a survivor of sexual abuse.

Motherful: Powerful Moms, Powerful Topics
https://open.spotify.com/show/4QprfSM0CI6gUxizyVdBnK?si=06eaed550e1441c4

Motherful Episodes with Emi's Story:

Emi's Story: Childhood Sexual Assault
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TR05HDyRD3p8dVpdDDsDa

Birth Stories: Planned & Unexpected Part 2
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4aiFZ05BwirzGhpbi60Uky

Mystery Topic: Abortion
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6z9cmiWBBDcJpuDmZLfBmX

Healing Family Trauma
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3SzSI4JKW6YV2dSEGHMZdz

Motherful Social Links:
https://www.facebook.com/MotherfulPodcast

https://www.instagram.com/motherful_podcast/?hl=en

Courage to Heal
https://www.ellenbass.com/books/the-courage-to-heal/

Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Become a Patreon Member to support the podcast and gain access to exclusive bonus content
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK


Support the show

]]> Emi is a survivor of family sexual abuse; she was molested by a family member over a long period of time as a young kid. After spending over a decade hiding from her past she decided to try to heal from it. Her healing journey led her to starting her own podcast: Motherful: Powerful Moms, Powerful Topics. Her co-host is her best friend Kayla, together they tackle the many difficult social and mental health issues that have affected their lives and made them who they are. In this episode Emi shares her story of surviving family childhood sexual abuse, she talks about how disclosing changed her family forever, discusses the pain of discovering her abuser was being protected by a family member, shares her journey becoming a parent, explains how how podcast came into being, and shares what her healing journey has looked like.

Emi is a mom, a podcaster, writer, wedding planner, a cat lover, and a survivor of sexual abuse.

Motherful: Powerful Moms, Powerful Topics
https://open.spotify.com/show/4QprfSM0CI6gUxizyVdBnK?si=06eaed550e1441c4

Motherful Episodes with Emi's Story:

Emi's Story: Childhood Sexual Assault
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TR05HDyRD3p8dVpdDDsDa

Birth Stories: Planned & Unexpected Part 2
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4aiFZ05BwirzGhpbi60Uky

Mystery Topic: Abortion
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6z9cmiWBBDcJpuDmZLfBmX

Healing Family Trauma
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3SzSI4JKW6YV2dSEGHMZdz

Motherful Social Links:
https://www.facebook.com/MotherfulPodcast

https://www.instagram.com/motherful_podcast/?hl=en

Courage to Heal
https://www.ellenbass.com/books/the-courage-to-heal/

Letters for the Fire
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/

Donate to Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Become a Patreon Member to support the podcast and gain access to exclusive bonus content
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK


Support the show

]]> Emi Buzzsprout-11160081 Tue, 08 Nov 2022 10:00:00 -0500 5602 4 7 full true Start By Believing Start By Believing Hollis Brown's platform as Miss Wisconsin USA is focused on survivor advocacy, and she’s a part of End Violence Against Women International’s “Start By Believing” campaign. Today Hollis speaks about her assault in college, how trauma changed her life, where she has found strength, and the work she’s doing in the world.

Originally from Savannah, Georgia and now residing in Milwaukee, Hollis Brown is a 26-year-old sports marketer, podcast host, mentor, public speaker, model, youth educator, nonprofit founder, and Miss Wisconsin USA 2022.  For the past year she has worked with the Milwaukee Bucks where she began as a Sales Associate and was promoted to Coordinator of Partner Strategy and Management November 2021.  As a podcast host, she is able to empower young women pursuing careers and as a nonprofit founder, she provides resources to help support sexual assault victims through their journey to healing.  Hollis is a high school graduate of Savannah Arts Academy and college graduate of Virginia Tech.  For over 18 years, she trained nationally in ballet, contemporary, and tap dance.  For fun, Hollis enjoys hot yoga, solving escape rooms, and kickboxing.  Hollis will compete for the coveted title of Miss USA during the national broadcast later this year and if she wins, will advance to the internationally televised 2022 Miss Universe competition.

Hollis Brown Website
https://www.holliscbrown.com/

Hollis's Story
https://evawintl.org/survivor-voices/hollis-brown-2/

EVAWI - End Violence Against Women International
https://evawintl.org/

Vote for Hollis! - Miss USA Viewer's choice (Cost about $2)
https://missusa.com/miss-contestants/

More Info:

The Red Zone is the period of time between mid August and Thanksgiving break. Over 50% of college sexual assaults occur during this time period.
https://www.shatteringthesilence.org/red-zone

Articles explaining Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn (or Appease). This came up in the episode and I wanted to provide an explanation because we didn't talk more about it. Your response is natural, it's valid. and it's not your fault.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202008/understanding-fight-flight-freeze-and-the-fawn-response

https://www.simplypsychology.org/fight-flight-freeze-fawn.html

Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/

Donate
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Join the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus material, a look behind the scenes, and occasional video episodes! Tier 3 members gain access to Hollis's video episode.
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK 

Letters for the Fire - Information and submission instructions
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/

Support the show

]]> Hollis Brown's platform as Miss Wisconsin USA is focused on survivor advocacy, and she’s a part of End Violence Against Women International’s “Start By Believing” campaign. Today Hollis speaks about her assault in college, how trauma changed her life, where she has found strength, and the work she’s doing in the world.

Originally from Savannah, Georgia and now residing in Milwaukee, Hollis Brown is a 26-year-old sports marketer, podcast host, mentor, public speaker, model, youth educator, nonprofit founder, and Miss Wisconsin USA 2022.  For the past year she has worked with the Milwaukee Bucks where she began as a Sales Associate and was promoted to Coordinator of Partner Strategy and Management November 2021.  As a podcast host, she is able to empower young women pursuing careers and as a nonprofit founder, she provides resources to help support sexual assault victims through their journey to healing.  Hollis is a high school graduate of Savannah Arts Academy and college graduate of Virginia Tech.  For over 18 years, she trained nationally in ballet, contemporary, and tap dance.  For fun, Hollis enjoys hot yoga, solving escape rooms, and kickboxing.  Hollis will compete for the coveted title of Miss USA during the national broadcast later this year and if she wins, will advance to the internationally televised 2022 Miss Universe competition.

Hollis Brown Website
https://www.holliscbrown.com/

Hollis's Story
https://evawintl.org/survivor-voices/hollis-brown-2/

EVAWI - End Violence Against Women International
https://evawintl.org/

Vote for Hollis! - Miss USA Viewer's choice (Cost about $2)
https://missusa.com/miss-contestants/

More Info:

The Red Zone is the period of time between mid August and Thanksgiving break. Over 50% of college sexual assaults occur during this time period.
https://www.shatteringthesilence.org/red-zone

Articles explaining Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn (or Appease). This came up in the episode and I wanted to provide an explanation because we didn't talk more about it. Your response is natural, it's valid. and it's not your fault.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202008/understanding-fight-flight-freeze-and-the-fawn-response

https://www.simplypsychology.org/fight-flight-freeze-fawn.html

Finding OK
https://www.finding-ok.com/

Donate
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Join the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus material, a look behind the scenes, and occasional video episodes! Tier 3 members gain access to Hollis's video episode.
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK 

Letters for the Fire - Information and submission instructions
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/

Support the show

]]> Hollis Brown Buzzsprout-11304586 Tue, 13 Sep 2022 10:00:00 -0400 5197 4 6 full false Purity Culture is Grooming - Part 2 Purity Culture is Grooming - Part 2 Part 2 of my conversation with Kaitlin Bellamy about what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self.

Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid collector of hobbies and special interests, and hopes to someday make a living as a full time content creator. She is an autistic, polyamorous chaos witch, with a specialization in cozy comfort vibes and making other people feel safe.

This episode was recorded before the most recent news broke about the Mormon Church protecting abusers and allowing child abuse to continue. The issues we discuss are very relevant and I'll be including a few articles in episode notes. I wanted to explain why these current events are not addressed directly in the episode.

Please help Kaitlin afford her rent and keep her housing by donating if you can! Donation links below!

Links

Pixie's Website:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/

Books:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/bookshop.html

https://smile.amazon.com/Kaitlin-Bellamy/e/B07GK1R7FX?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1660652330&sr=8-1

Donate to Pixie:
https://ko-fi.com/chaospixiemagic
https://streamelements.com/chaospixiemagic/tip

Pixie's Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/ChaosPixieMagic
https://www.patreon.com/m/reprpg

Pixie's D&D Merch:
https://www.reprpg.com/shop

Hecate's Patreon - Become a member to support the podcast and for exclusive access to bonus material.
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Donate to Finding OK:
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Mormon Church Abuse Article:
TW/CW for this article!
https://apnews.com/article/Mormon-church-sexual-abuse-investigation-e

Support the show

]]> Part 2 of my conversation with Kaitlin Bellamy about what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self.

Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid collector of hobbies and special interests, and hopes to someday make a living as a full time content creator. She is an autistic, polyamorous chaos witch, with a specialization in cozy comfort vibes and making other people feel safe.

This episode was recorded before the most recent news broke about the Mormon Church protecting abusers and allowing child abuse to continue. The issues we discuss are very relevant and I'll be including a few articles in episode notes. I wanted to explain why these current events are not addressed directly in the episode.

Please help Kaitlin afford her rent and keep her housing by donating if you can! Donation links below!

Links

Pixie's Website:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/

Books:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/bookshop.html

https://smile.amazon.com/Kaitlin-Bellamy/e/B07GK1R7FX?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1660652330&sr=8-1

Donate to Pixie:
https://ko-fi.com/chaospixiemagic
https://streamelements.com/chaospixiemagic/tip

Pixie's Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/ChaosPixieMagic
https://www.patreon.com/m/reprpg

Pixie's D&D Merch:
https://www.reprpg.com/shop

Hecate's Patreon - Become a member to support the podcast and for exclusive access to bonus material.
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Donate to Finding OK:
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Mormon Church Abuse Article:
TW/CW for this article!
https://apnews.com/article/Mormon-church-sexual-abuse-investigation-e

Support the show

]]> Kaitlin Bellamy Buzzsprout-11156058 Tue, 30 Aug 2022 10:00:00 -0400 4973 4 5 full true Purity Culture is Grooming - Part 1 Purity Culture is Grooming - Part 1 Kaitlin Bellamy shares what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and discusses the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse and assault. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self.

Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid collector of hobbies and special interests, and hopes to someday make a living as a full time content creator. She is an autistic, polyamorous chaos witch, with a specialization in cozy comfort vibes and making other people feel safe.

This episode was recorded before the most recent news broke about the Mormon Church protecting abusers and allowing child abuse to continue. The issues we discuss are very relevant and I'll be including a few articles in episode notes. I wanted to explain why these current events are not addressed directly in the episode.

Please help Kaitlin afford her rent and keep her housing by donating if you can!

Links

Pixie's Website:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/

Books:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/bookshop.html

https://smile.amazon.com/Kaitlin-Bellamy/e/B07GK1R7FX?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1660652330&sr=8-1

Donate to Pixie:
https://ko-fi.com/chaospixiemagic
https://streamelements.com/chaospixiemagic/tip

Pixie's Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/ChaosPixieMagic
https://www.patreon.com/m/reprpg

Pixie's D&D Merch:
https://www.reprpg.com/shop

Hecate's Patreon - Become a member to support the podcast and for exclusive access to bonus material.
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Donate to Finding OK:
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Mormon Church Abuse Articles:
TW/CW for these articles!
https://apnews.com/article/Mormon-church-sexual-abuse-investigation-e0e39cf9aa4fbe0d8c1442033b894660

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/08/10/mormon-church-child-sexual-abuse/

Support the show

]]> Kaitlin Bellamy shares what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and discusses the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse and assault. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self.

Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid collector of hobbies and special interests, and hopes to someday make a living as a full time content creator. She is an autistic, polyamorous chaos witch, with a specialization in cozy comfort vibes and making other people feel safe.

This episode was recorded before the most recent news broke about the Mormon Church protecting abusers and allowing child abuse to continue. The issues we discuss are very relevant and I'll be including a few articles in episode notes. I wanted to explain why these current events are not addressed directly in the episode.

Please help Kaitlin afford her rent and keep her housing by donating if you can!

Links

Pixie's Website:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/

Books:
http://www.kaitlinbellamy.com/bookshop.html

https://smile.amazon.com/Kaitlin-Bellamy/e/B07GK1R7FX?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1660652330&sr=8-1

Donate to Pixie:
https://ko-fi.com/chaospixiemagic
https://streamelements.com/chaospixiemagic/tip

Pixie's Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/ChaosPixieMagic
https://www.patreon.com/m/reprpg

Pixie's D&D Merch:
https://www.reprpg.com/shop

Hecate's Patreon - Become a member to support the podcast and for exclusive access to bonus material.
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Donate to Finding OK:
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

Mormon Church Abuse Articles:
TW/CW for these articles!
https://apnews.com/article/Mormon-church-sexual-abuse-investigation-e0e39cf9aa4fbe0d8c1442033b894660

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/08/10/mormon-church-child-sexual-abuse/

Support the show

]]> Kaitlin Bellamy Buzzsprout-11124510 Tue, 16 Aug 2022 10:00:00 -0400 5926 4 4 full true Assaulted and Stalked Abroad - A Personal Story Assaulted and Stalked Abroad - A Personal Story In 2006 I was assaulted and stalked by a monk in India. In this episode I share my journal entries recording this experience and then discuss the ways this trauma has affected my life. I discuss the intersecting issues of race, culture, and gender; as well as the importance of anti-racism work in trauma healing. I share the way that being assaulted while menstruating can affect the way trauma is embodied and experienced afterwards. During this experience I talked my way out of further violence or the escalation of violence, I share my thoughts about "manipulation" as a survival technique. Being stalked was deeply traumatizing; I share some of the PTSD symptoms I experienced, how they affected my life, and interfered with my ability to get an education.

Join me on Twitch!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Letters for the Fire - learn more
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/

Join the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus content
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the show

]]> In 2006 I was assaulted and stalked by a monk in India. In this episode I share my journal entries recording this experience and then discuss the ways this trauma has affected my life. I discuss the intersecting issues of race, culture, and gender; as well as the importance of anti-racism work in trauma healing. I share the way that being assaulted while menstruating can affect the way trauma is embodied and experienced afterwards. During this experience I talked my way out of further violence or the escalation of violence, I share my thoughts about "manipulation" as a survival technique. Being stalked was deeply traumatizing; I share some of the PTSD symptoms I experienced, how they affected my life, and interfered with my ability to get an education.

Join me on Twitch!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Letters for the Fire - learn more
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-4/

Join the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus content
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-11073134 Wed, 03 Aug 2022 00:00:00 -0400 7448 4 3 full true Then and Now Then and Now In this episode my friend Sage and I listen to audio we recorded two years ago during lockdown and reflect on it. We talk about (and feel our way through) some of the very intense systemic issues we're facing in America and in the world. We talk about self-care, finding ways to keep moving forward, staying resilient, and finding ways to engage and stay hopeful.
Sage is the creator of Real Human Better, a Social Permaculture course and community. She loves permaculture, compost, food made with love, deep conversation, horror movies, playing with her dog, gaming, and ITS Bellydance...our dogs are besties.

Sage on Twitch
https://www.twitch.tv/sagecirce

Sage on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/sagecirce/?hl=en

Real Human Better
https://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897/?ref=page_internal
Join the Discord server! Invite link can be found on the Facebook page!

Real Human Better on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/real.human.better/?hl=en

Mankind Project
https://mankindproject.org/

Check out Qasim Rashid
https://www.instagram.com/qasimrashid/

Active Hope - How to face the mess we're in with unexpected resilience and creative power
https://www.activehope.info/
Book:
https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781608687107

Touch Isolation Articles
https://remakingmanhood.medium.com/touch-isolation-how-homophobia-has-robbed-all-men-of-touch-239987952f16

https://slate.com/human-interest/2013/11/male-affection-and-touch-homophobia-ruins-platonic-touch-for-straight-men.html

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-touch-isolation-how-homophobia-has-robbed-men-of-touch/

Passion Planner - my favorite planner made by a small company that started as a Kickstarter.
https://passionplanner.com/

Hecate on Twitch! Join me for gaming, ASMR, art, and podcast Q&A livestreams!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Join the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus content!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself!

Support the show

]]> In this episode my friend Sage and I listen to audio we recorded two years ago during lockdown and reflect on it. We talk about (and feel our way through) some of the very intense systemic issues we're facing in America and in the world. We talk about self-care, finding ways to keep moving forward, staying resilient, and finding ways to engage and stay hopeful.
Sage is the creator of Real Human Better, a Social Permaculture course and community. She loves permaculture, compost, food made with love, deep conversation, horror movies, playing with her dog, gaming, and ITS Bellydance...our dogs are besties.

Sage on Twitch
https://www.twitch.tv/sagecirce

Sage on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/sagecirce/?hl=en

Real Human Better
https://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897/?ref=page_internal
Join the Discord server! Invite link can be found on the Facebook page!

Real Human Better on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/real.human.better/?hl=en

Mankind Project
https://mankindproject.org/

Check out Qasim Rashid
https://www.instagram.com/qasimrashid/

Active Hope - How to face the mess we're in with unexpected resilience and creative power
https://www.activehope.info/
Book:
https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781608687107

Touch Isolation Articles
https://remakingmanhood.medium.com/touch-isolation-how-homophobia-has-robbed-all-men-of-touch-239987952f16

https://slate.com/human-interest/2013/11/male-affection-and-touch-homophobia-ruins-platonic-touch-for-straight-men.html

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-touch-isolation-how-homophobia-has-robbed-men-of-touch/

Passion Planner - my favorite planner made by a small company that started as a Kickstarter.
https://passionplanner.com/

Hecate on Twitch! Join me for gaming, ASMR, art, and podcast Q&A livestreams!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Join the Patreon to support the podcast and gain exclusive access to bonus content!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Hecate's Links
https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself!

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-10986726 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 13:00:00 -0400 4779 4 2 full true This Was Slightly Less On Fire When I Left... This Was Slightly Less On Fire When I Left... We're back! In this episode I'll be sharing what I've been up to on my break, what I have planned for this season of the podcast, and I'll be talking about a really rough day I had last week in the wake of Roe vs Wade being overturned.

Letters for the Fire is back in Season 4! This is a listener participation project. I am inviting survivors to write a letter to their r*pist or abuser and then send it to me. It's is my hope that this will help others with catharsis and closure. I want you to feel heard and to have control over the way that you're heard. 
You can listen to the Letters for the Fire episode from Season 3 and check out this link to learn more about the project and how to participate:
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire/

I am currently fundraising to afford a transcript service in order to make Finding OK more accessible to the deaf, hearing impaired, and neurodivergent communities. This will also help immensely with podcast growth and visibility. Please consider helping out by becoming a Patreon member or by making a one time donation via PayPal.
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

You can also donate live on Twitch if you want to see me smile! Follow me to join Finding OK Q&A livestreams and join me while I edit and record new episodes...I also play games, chat, do ASMR, read books, paint, and occasionally do tattoo!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Shout out to my Patreon Members Sedonka, Kathleen, and Betty for their incredible support and for making this podcast possible! I love and appreciate you so much! <3

Support the show

]]> We're back! In this episode I'll be sharing what I've been up to on my break, what I have planned for this season of the podcast, and I'll be talking about a really rough day I had last week in the wake of Roe vs Wade being overturned.

Letters for the Fire is back in Season 4! This is a listener participation project. I am inviting survivors to write a letter to their r*pist or abuser and then send it to me. It's is my hope that this will help others with catharsis and closure. I want you to feel heard and to have control over the way that you're heard. 
You can listen to the Letters for the Fire episode from Season 3 and check out this link to learn more about the project and how to participate:
https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire/

I am currently fundraising to afford a transcript service in order to make Finding OK more accessible to the deaf, hearing impaired, and neurodivergent communities. This will also help immensely with podcast growth and visibility. Please consider helping out by becoming a Patreon member or by making a one time donation via PayPal.
https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

You can also donate live on Twitch if you want to see me smile! Follow me to join Finding OK Q&A livestreams and join me while I edit and record new episodes...I also play games, chat, do ASMR, read books, paint, and occasionally do tattoo!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Shout out to my Patreon Members Sedonka, Kathleen, and Betty for their incredible support and for making this podcast possible! I love and appreciate you so much! <3

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-10912542 Wed, 06 Jul 2022 00:00:00 -0400 3848 4 1 full true Gratitude and Updates Gratitude and Updates This is the last episode of Season 3! Today I'll be taking some time to thank everyone who made this season possible, updating you about my plans and exciting new content during my break, as well as letting you know about some changes moving forward with Season 4!
New episodes will resume 7/5/22. Just because there aren't new episodes doesn't mean there isn't new content! I'm taking the time during break to do lots of new and exciting things!

I'm a Twitch Affiliate and you can hang out with me there all the time! New Finding OK  Q&A livestreams will be starting there soon as well! Ask me questions about your favorite episodes, suggest subjects for Season 4, and talk about the things that matter to you.
I'm a variety streamer that loves Sims, Indie games, ASMR, Art, Tattoo, and Among Us. I'll be very present on Twitch during my break and I hope to see you there!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Visit my website to get a link to join my Discord server! Join watch parties, chat, read articles, share memes and pictures of your pets! It's whatever we want it to be!

Join my Patreon to gain early access to an episode that will be dropping over break, and also to the video episodes I'll be sharing as I teach myself how to edit video over break! Check it out here: https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the show

]]> This is the last episode of Season 3! Today I'll be taking some time to thank everyone who made this season possible, updating you about my plans and exciting new content during my break, as well as letting you know about some changes moving forward with Season 4!
New episodes will resume 7/5/22. Just because there aren't new episodes doesn't mean there isn't new content! I'm taking the time during break to do lots of new and exciting things!

I'm a Twitch Affiliate and you can hang out with me there all the time! New Finding OK  Q&A livestreams will be starting there soon as well! Ask me questions about your favorite episodes, suggest subjects for Season 4, and talk about the things that matter to you.
I'm a variety streamer that loves Sims, Indie games, ASMR, Art, Tattoo, and Among Us. I'll be very present on Twitch during my break and I hope to see you there!
https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok

Visit my website to get a link to join my Discord server! Join watch parties, chat, read articles, share memes and pictures of your pets! It's whatever we want it to be!

Join my Patreon to gain early access to an episode that will be dropping over break, and also to the video episodes I'll be sharing as I teach myself how to edit video over break! Check it out here: https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-10138802 Thu, 24 Feb 2022 17:00:00 -0500 1313 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, self care, abuse, healing, survivor, neurodivergent, mental health, video games, productivity, twitch, patreon, thank you 3 15 full false Letters for the Fire Letters for the Fire Earlier in Season 3 I invited listeners to participate in a project called Letters for the Fire. It was an invitation for communal catharsis and healing. I invited listeners to write a letter to their rapist or abuser, and I would read it in an episode, and then burn all of them in a ritual. Here are the letters I received from listeners. Thank you so much everyone who has made this powerful project possible!

A link to a video video of the letters burning will be shared here later on, check back later!
The video is delayed due to technical difficulties. Thank you for you patience.

Support:
https://www.rainn.org/

Support the show

]]> Earlier in Season 3 I invited listeners to participate in a project called Letters for the Fire. It was an invitation for communal catharsis and healing. I invited listeners to write a letter to their rapist or abuser, and I would read it in an episode, and then burn all of them in a ritual. Here are the letters I received from listeners. Thank you so much everyone who has made this powerful project possible!

A link to a video video of the letters burning will be shared here later on, check back later!
The video is delayed due to technical difficulties. Thank you for you patience.

Support:
https://www.rainn.org/

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-9998018 Wed, 02 Feb 2022 10:00:00 -0500 2712 finding ok, metoo, abuse, rape, abusive relationships, trauma, ptsd, healing, recovery, survivor, self care, letters for the fire, catharsis, ritual, release, speak your truth 3 14 full true The Assault I Don't Discuss - A Personal Story The Assault I Don't Discuss - A Personal Story In this episode I share my experience of anal rape, discuss the dangerous myth that boys/men/AMAB people can't control themselves, discuss consent, and talk about some of the reasons why it was so difficult for me to identify this particular assault as valid and as a rape.
Sexual Assault can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Women and AFAB people experience anal rape too and it is not discussed enough. Because anal sex continues to be taboo in out culture there is an extra layer of shame and stigma that survivors of anal rape face on their path to healing. I hope that by sharing this story I can help others feel less alone.

The Episode Cover
The episode cover is an actual photo of me and my abuser that was taken the year this assault took place. It is run through a filter to protect identities. Without context the photo looks innocent enough, but within the context of an abusive relationship the image changes. I was standing tall and confident and he is seen pulling at my arm to spin me around, or pull me to him. It was a moment I know must have appeared charming or romantic to outsiders. 

Episode Notes:

Resource for Survivors
https://www.rainn.org/

The Myths
http://www.consented.ca/myths/perpetrators-cant-help-themselves/

TW: This article contains graphic details of sexual assault
https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/07/01/my-own-rape-shows-how-badly-we-stereotype-perps-and-victims/


Support the show

]]> In this episode I share my experience of anal rape, discuss the dangerous myth that boys/men/AMAB people can't control themselves, discuss consent, and talk about some of the reasons why it was so difficult for me to identify this particular assault as valid and as a rape.
Sexual Assault can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Women and AFAB people experience anal rape too and it is not discussed enough. Because anal sex continues to be taboo in out culture there is an extra layer of shame and stigma that survivors of anal rape face on their path to healing. I hope that by sharing this story I can help others feel less alone.

The Episode Cover
The episode cover is an actual photo of me and my abuser that was taken the year this assault took place. It is run through a filter to protect identities. Without context the photo looks innocent enough, but within the context of an abusive relationship the image changes. I was standing tall and confident and he is seen pulling at my arm to spin me around, or pull me to him. It was a moment I know must have appeared charming or romantic to outsiders. 

Episode Notes:

Resource for Survivors
https://www.rainn.org/

The Myths
http://www.consented.ca/myths/perpetrators-cant-help-themselves/

TW: This article contains graphic details of sexual assault
https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/07/01/my-own-rape-shows-how-badly-we-stereotype-perps-and-victims/


Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-9923394 Thu, 20 Jan 2022 19:00:00 -0500 2844 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, anal rape, believe survivors, abusive relationship, feminism, patriarchy 3 13 full true Healing After Military Sexual Assault Healing After Military Sexual Assault Vanessa is a veteran and a survivor of sexual assault within the military. Vanessa shares her story of trauma, her feelings of shame and lack of self-worth, and her spiral into depression which nearly ended in suicide. She found strength and she has moved into a place of growth, empowerment, self-love, and healing. Vanessa is sharing her story in the hope that it will help others find their own strength and feel less alone.

Episode Notes

https://www.rainn.org/

For Veterans:
https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/

https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/index.asp?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=search-va&utm_content=mental-health&utm_term=veterans%20affairs%20suicide&gclid=Cj0KCQiAnuGNBhCPARIsACbnLzraUHWNq6E6eCF_zXPFw6ioOy9ZbM6Ecyjj9ZZuiEDoTEow237hYH8aAr2HEALw_wcB

More About Military Sexual Assault

https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_reports/RRA1318-1.html#:~:text=One%20in%2016%20women%20and,and%20one%20in%2016%20men.

https://www.rand.org/news/press/2021/07/19.html

TW for this article
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/03/magazine/military-sexual-assault.html

Support the show

]]> Vanessa is a veteran and a survivor of sexual assault within the military. Vanessa shares her story of trauma, her feelings of shame and lack of self-worth, and her spiral into depression which nearly ended in suicide. She found strength and she has moved into a place of growth, empowerment, self-love, and healing. Vanessa is sharing her story in the hope that it will help others find their own strength and feel less alone.

Episode Notes

https://www.rainn.org/

For Veterans:
https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/

https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/index.asp?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=search-va&utm_content=mental-health&utm_term=veterans%20affairs%20suicide&gclid=Cj0KCQiAnuGNBhCPARIsACbnLzraUHWNq6E6eCF_zXPFw6ioOy9ZbM6Ecyjj9ZZuiEDoTEow237hYH8aAr2HEALw_wcB

More About Military Sexual Assault

https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_reports/RRA1318-1.html#:~:text=One%20in%2016%20women%20and,and%20one%20in%2016%20men.

https://www.rand.org/news/press/2021/07/19.html

TW for this article
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/03/magazine/military-sexual-assault.html

Support the show

]]> Vanessa Buzzsprout-9834501 Wed, 05 Jan 2022 08:00:00 -0500 8647 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, spirituality, veteran, military, military sexual assault, depression, suicide, faith 3 12 full true Cult Recovery - Healing After NXIVM Cult Recovery - Healing After NXIVM Kelly Thiel exited the notorious NXIVM cult and shares her journey with healing and deprogramming in the aftermath of indoctrination. She has taken her power back and is helping others to do the same.
Kelly is an accomplished voice actress, author, speaker, consultant, and the driving force behind her new platform, Be Glorious. Kelly was a member of the NXIVM cult and after exiting she appeared in the critically acclaimed documentary “Seduced”. She is set to release her first book in January 2022, “Unapologetically Glorious”.

Kelly's Website
https://www.kellythiel.com/

Remember to keep an eye out for Kelly's book in January 2022!

Resources for Cult Recovery and Education
https://seduceddocumentary.com/cult-resources/

Take Back Your Life
https://bookshop.org/books/taking-back-your-life-recovering-from-cults-and-abusive-relationships/9780972002158

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001RNPD9M/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Headspace - Kelly's Meditation app recommendation
https://www.headspace.com/

I Got Out
https://www.instagram.com/igotout_org/

Seduced - documentary
https://seduceddocumentary.com/

The Vow - documentary
https://www.hbo.com/the-vow

Support the show

]]> Kelly Thiel exited the notorious NXIVM cult and shares her journey with healing and deprogramming in the aftermath of indoctrination. She has taken her power back and is helping others to do the same.
Kelly is an accomplished voice actress, author, speaker, consultant, and the driving force behind her new platform, Be Glorious. Kelly was a member of the NXIVM cult and after exiting she appeared in the critically acclaimed documentary “Seduced”. She is set to release her first book in January 2022, “Unapologetically Glorious”.

Kelly's Website
https://www.kellythiel.com/

Remember to keep an eye out for Kelly's book in January 2022!

Resources for Cult Recovery and Education
https://seduceddocumentary.com/cult-resources/

Take Back Your Life
https://bookshop.org/books/taking-back-your-life-recovering-from-cults-and-abusive-relationships/9780972002158

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001RNPD9M/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Headspace - Kelly's Meditation app recommendation
https://www.headspace.com/

I Got Out
https://www.instagram.com/igotout_org/

Seduced - documentary
https://seduceddocumentary.com/

The Vow - documentary
https://www.hbo.com/the-vow

Support the show

]]> Kelly Thiel Buzzsprout-9685067 Wed, 22 Dec 2021 11:00:00 -0500 4113 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, hope, spirituality, cult, cult recovery, NXIVM, seduced documentary 3 11 full false Thriving After Sexual Abuse Thriving After Sexual Abuse Denise Bossarte is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and now she is helping others heal.  Join us for a conversation about Denise's healing journey as well as her beautiful book, "Thriving After Sexual Abuse: Break Your Bondage to the Past and Live a Life You Love".   
Denise Bossarte is an award-winning writer, poet, photographer, and artist. Denise is a certified meditation facilitator and contemplative arts teacher. She is an IT professional working for a large urban school district. Denise holds a BA in chemistry, an MS in computer science, and a PhD in developmental neuroscience. Denise lives in Texas with her husband, Randy, and literary cat, Sapphira.

GIVEAWAY!
Post about Finding OK on the social media platform of your choice to enter! It can be a link to your favorite episode, the link to the podcast website, or a heartfelt post - tag Hecate or send in a screenshot to enter. The winner will be chosen at random and receive a signed, personalized copy of Denise's incredible book! Winner will be announced in the next episode on 12/22!

Episode Notes:

Denise's Website
https://thrivingaftersexualabusebook.com/

Buy the Book!
https://www.amazon.com/Thriving-After-Sexual-Abuse-Bondage-ebook/dp/B0937GR5MR/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

Join Hecate's Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK



Support the show

]]> Denise Bossarte is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and now she is helping others heal.  Join us for a conversation about Denise's healing journey as well as her beautiful book, "Thriving After Sexual Abuse: Break Your Bondage to the Past and Live a Life You Love".   
Denise Bossarte is an award-winning writer, poet, photographer, and artist. Denise is a certified meditation facilitator and contemplative arts teacher. She is an IT professional working for a large urban school district. Denise holds a BA in chemistry, an MS in computer science, and a PhD in developmental neuroscience. Denise lives in Texas with her husband, Randy, and literary cat, Sapphira.

GIVEAWAY!
Post about Finding OK on the social media platform of your choice to enter! It can be a link to your favorite episode, the link to the podcast website, or a heartfelt post - tag Hecate or send in a screenshot to enter. The winner will be chosen at random and receive a signed, personalized copy of Denise's incredible book! Winner will be announced in the next episode on 12/22!

Episode Notes:

Denise's Website
https://thrivingaftersexualabusebook.com/

Buy the Book!
https://www.amazon.com/Thriving-After-Sexual-Abuse-Bondage-ebook/dp/B0937GR5MR/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

Join Hecate's Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK



Support the show

]]> Denise Bossarte Buzzsprout-9683341 Wed, 08 Dec 2021 10:00:00 -0500 6552 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, incest, childhood abuse, trauma healing, denise bossarte, thriving after sexual abuse 3 10 full true Deconstructing Religious Abuse Deconstructing Religious Abuse  Anna grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family as part of the Quiverfull movement. She and her six siblings were not allowed to attend school and were very isolated from the outside world. Everything about her childhood was strictly controlled, from the clothes she wore to the media she had access to. She was expected to teach herself from primarily religious texts as well as teaching and caring for the younger children. Her future was laid out for her as a submissive wife and mother to many children.
She left at 19 with help from family, starting life in a very unfamiliar world with little education was daunting but also thrilling. Seven years later she's still sifting through memories. She makes videos on TikTok recounting her experiences, and has found that many other folks grew up in similar circumstances. Many kids are undoubtedly still in that situation and Anna hopes she can raise awareness and play a part in helping others.

Coalition for Responsible Home Education - recommended resource
https://responsiblehomeschooling.org/

TikToks

Homeschooling
https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7025738255169604870?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/6991106244157132038?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

Growing Up in a Cult
https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/6985522389207567622?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7003110109895347461?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7010967459436023045?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7013846570139405574?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

Being Fabulous
https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7027553385402436869?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

Support the show

]]>  Anna grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family as part of the Quiverfull movement. She and her six siblings were not allowed to attend school and were very isolated from the outside world. Everything about her childhood was strictly controlled, from the clothes she wore to the media she had access to. She was expected to teach herself from primarily religious texts as well as teaching and caring for the younger children. Her future was laid out for her as a submissive wife and mother to many children.
She left at 19 with help from family, starting life in a very unfamiliar world with little education was daunting but also thrilling. Seven years later she's still sifting through memories. She makes videos on TikTok recounting her experiences, and has found that many other folks grew up in similar circumstances. Many kids are undoubtedly still in that situation and Anna hopes she can raise awareness and play a part in helping others.

Coalition for Responsible Home Education - recommended resource
https://responsiblehomeschooling.org/

TikToks

Homeschooling
https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7025738255169604870?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/6991106244157132038?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

Growing Up in a Cult
https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/6985522389207567622?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7003110109895347461?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7010967459436023045?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7013846570139405574?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

Being Fabulous
https://www.tiktok.com/@spookypatootie/video/7027553385402436869?lang=en&is_copy_url=0&is_from_webapp=v1&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6969742314420504070

Support the show

]]> Anna Rose Buzzsprout-9548743 Wed, 24 Nov 2021 09:00:00 -0500 7436 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, religious trauma, cult, quiverfull, homeschooling, Christianity, queer, lgbtq, bdsm, kink, tiktok, fundamentalist 3 9 full true Death and Rebirth Cycles - Shedding Your Skin Death and Rebirth Cycles - Shedding Your Skin We all experience Death/Rebirth Cycles in our lives, periods of profound transformation and growth. These cycles are often painful and difficult. In this episode I share something that has helped me to better keep my balance and move more gracefully through these times in my own life.

Finding OK has a Patreon! Join for access to exclusive posts, pics, clips, and even the occasional video episode! Listener contributions are what keep Finding OK alive <3
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the show

]]> We all experience Death/Rebirth Cycles in our lives, periods of profound transformation and growth. These cycles are often painful and difficult. In this episode I share something that has helped me to better keep my balance and move more gracefully through these times in my own life.

Finding OK has a Patreon! Join for access to exclusive posts, pics, clips, and even the occasional video episode! Listener contributions are what keep Finding OK alive <3
https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-9564480 Wed, 17 Nov 2021 09:00:00 -0500 642 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, hope, spirituality, rebirth, transformation, change, growth, snake, shedding skin, death, 3 8 full false Coercion Isn't Consent - A Personal Story Coercion Isn't Consent - A Personal Story This is a personal and raw episode where I share the story of one of my assaults. Coercion isn't consent. Two Hundred "No's" and one "Yes" is still "No".  If you have a similar story, you are not alone and it wasn't your fault. It was rape. Your trauma is valid.

Episode Notes:

Consent:
https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent

Guest Interview with BardicSway on Twitch for RAINN Fundraiser - LIMITED TIME ONLY
This is me! Talking! with my FACE! Join Twitch to join me for livestreams! @Hecate_FindingOK
Part 1
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1124490772?filter=archives&sort=time

Part 2
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1124542439?filter=archives&sort=time

Support the show

]]> This is a personal and raw episode where I share the story of one of my assaults. Coercion isn't consent. Two Hundred "No's" and one "Yes" is still "No".  If you have a similar story, you are not alone and it wasn't your fault. It was rape. Your trauma is valid.

Episode Notes:

Consent:
https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent

Guest Interview with BardicSway on Twitch for RAINN Fundraiser - LIMITED TIME ONLY
This is me! Talking! with my FACE! Join Twitch to join me for livestreams! @Hecate_FindingOK
Part 1
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1124490772?filter=archives&sort=time

Part 2
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1124542439?filter=archives&sort=time

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-9125051 Wed, 01 Sep 2021 20:00:00 -0400 3483 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, believe survivors, feminism, intersectional feminism, consent, coercion, no means no 3 7 full true Rise Above Your Story Rise Above Your Story Join me for a beautiful talk with Sandra Cooze. Sandra is an intuitive mentor and coach, spiritual advisor, advanced soul realignment practitioner, jewelry designer, loving wife and mother, and the author of, “Journey to Your Self, How to Heal from Trauma, Written by Someone Who Did”. We discuss her book, her healing journey, her coaching practice, crystal healing, reiki, TIR trigger release, ancestral healing, and the Akashic records.

I forgot to mention it in the episode but Finding OK is 2 years old today!! Is it a Podcast birthday or anniversary? Either way - YAY and thank you for listening!! 

Sandra's Website
https://riseaboveyourstory.com/

Sandra's Book
https://riseaboveyourstory.com/product/journey-to-your-self-signed-copy/

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/journey-to-your-self-how-to-heal-from-trauma-sandra-cooze/1138885647?ean=9781950895793&fbclid=IwAR2c8GYZiVdyhX8hTRdUwNBgToB6NCKnbx0XTM1AlkKNvHyFRNmiHqdSgqc

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1950895793?pf_rd_r=40J98K6817315670Q3T5&pf_rd_p=6fc81c8c-2a38-41c6-a68a-f78c79e7253f&pd_rd_r=e0315329-3bba-479d-a17c-b1804413aebb&pd_rd_w=m8v4G&pd_rd_wg=awupD&ref_=pd_gw_unk

Sandra's Jewelry
https://riseaboveyourstory.com/ethereal-soul-jewelry/

TIR
https://www.tira.org/

Reiki
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/308772#where-can-I-get-reiki

Crystal Vaults
https://www.crystalvaults.com/

Crystals mentioned in the episode:

Larimar
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larimar

https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/larimar/

Black Tourmaline
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/black-tourmaline/

Selenite
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/selenite/

Obsidian (black and snowflake were mentioned)
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/obsidian/

Citrine
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/citrine/

Quartz (clear)
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/quartz/

Amethyst
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/amethyst/

Moldavite (use with care)
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/moldavite/


Support the show

]]> Join me for a beautiful talk with Sandra Cooze. Sandra is an intuitive mentor and coach, spiritual advisor, advanced soul realignment practitioner, jewelry designer, loving wife and mother, and the author of, “Journey to Your Self, How to Heal from Trauma, Written by Someone Who Did”. We discuss her book, her healing journey, her coaching practice, crystal healing, reiki, TIR trigger release, ancestral healing, and the Akashic records.

I forgot to mention it in the episode but Finding OK is 2 years old today!! Is it a Podcast birthday or anniversary? Either way - YAY and thank you for listening!! 

Sandra's Website
https://riseaboveyourstory.com/

Sandra's Book
https://riseaboveyourstory.com/product/journey-to-your-self-signed-copy/

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/journey-to-your-self-how-to-heal-from-trauma-sandra-cooze/1138885647?ean=9781950895793&fbclid=IwAR2c8GYZiVdyhX8hTRdUwNBgToB6NCKnbx0XTM1AlkKNvHyFRNmiHqdSgqc

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1950895793?pf_rd_r=40J98K6817315670Q3T5&pf_rd_p=6fc81c8c-2a38-41c6-a68a-f78c79e7253f&pd_rd_r=e0315329-3bba-479d-a17c-b1804413aebb&pd_rd_w=m8v4G&pd_rd_wg=awupD&ref_=pd_gw_unk

Sandra's Jewelry
https://riseaboveyourstory.com/ethereal-soul-jewelry/

TIR
https://www.tira.org/

Reiki
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/308772#where-can-I-get-reiki

Crystal Vaults
https://www.crystalvaults.com/

Crystals mentioned in the episode:

Larimar
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larimar

https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/larimar/

Black Tourmaline
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/black-tourmaline/

Selenite
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/selenite/

Obsidian (black and snowflake were mentioned)
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/obsidian/

Citrine
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/citrine/

Quartz (clear)
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/quartz/

Amethyst
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/amethyst/

Moldavite (use with care)
https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/moldavite/


Support the show

]]> Sandra Cooze Buzzsprout-9013161 Wed, 11 Aug 2021 19:00:00 -0400 7304 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, Journey to Your Self, Sandra Cooze, holistic healing, spirituality, spiritual healing, alternative medicine, crystal healing, past life healing, akashic 3 6 full false Post-Trauma Kink Shaming and Sexuality Post-Trauma Kink Shaming and Sexuality Sage rejoins me for this episode as we laugh and cover some pretty intense subjects. We discuss post-trauma kink shaming, sex, sexuality, and physical responses. We are sexual beings and trauma can affect us all in very different ways! You are valid and however you get down is valid as long as you're not harming others without their consent!

Episode Note:

Bailey Sarian - who we mentioned in the episode
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtNdVINwfYFTQEEZgMiQ8FA

Teeth (2008) - TW for movie and article
https://www.vice.com/en/article/j5x957/teeth-is-the-feminist-horror-classic-that-men-tried-to-sabotage

TOS does not allow me to share links to the various sites or toy producers that Sage recommends. These can be found in a post via my BuyMeACoffee site where you can become a member and support the podcast.

Support the show

]]> Sage rejoins me for this episode as we laugh and cover some pretty intense subjects. We discuss post-trauma kink shaming, sex, sexuality, and physical responses. We are sexual beings and trauma can affect us all in very different ways! You are valid and however you get down is valid as long as you're not harming others without their consent!

Episode Note:

Bailey Sarian - who we mentioned in the episode
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtNdVINwfYFTQEEZgMiQ8FA

Teeth (2008) - TW for movie and article
https://www.vice.com/en/article/j5x957/teeth-is-the-feminist-horror-classic-that-men-tried-to-sabotage

TOS does not allow me to share links to the various sites or toy producers that Sage recommends. These can be found in a post via my BuyMeACoffee site where you can become a member and support the podcast.

Support the show

]]> Sage Buzzsprout-8912465 Mon, 26 Jul 2021 19:00:00 -0400 5800 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, sex, sexuality, kink, queer, consent, sex toys, sex positivity 3 5 full true Letters for the Fire - An Invitation Letters for the Fire - An Invitation Letters for the Fire is an invitation for survivors to write a letter to their rapist or abuser and send it to me. It is one of the deepest honors of my life to hold this space. I want to find more ways to help facilitate healing, to help survivors find their strength, and to help them feel connected, seen, and held. Letters for the fire feels like a part of that and if it feels right for you I hope you’ll entrust me with your letter.

Include instructions in the subject of your email
- "Read in episode", I will read your letter aloud in an episode of the podcast.
- "Read and burn", I will read your letter to myself and burn it.
- "Burn unread", I will burn your letter without reading it.

Visit the podcast website to contact me.
https://www.finding-ok.com/

There are now membership options via BuyMeACoffee! By becoming a member you help support the podcast and gain access to exclusive behind the scenes extras!
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK

Support the show

]]> Letters for the Fire is an invitation for survivors to write a letter to their rapist or abuser and send it to me. It is one of the deepest honors of my life to hold this space. I want to find more ways to help facilitate healing, to help survivors find their strength, and to help them feel connected, seen, and held. Letters for the fire feels like a part of that and if it feels right for you I hope you’ll entrust me with your letter.

Include instructions in the subject of your email
- "Read in episode", I will read your letter aloud in an episode of the podcast.
- "Read and burn", I will read your letter to myself and burn it.
- "Burn unread", I will burn your letter without reading it.

Visit the podcast website to contact me.
https://www.finding-ok.com/

There are now membership options via BuyMeACoffee! By becoming a member you help support the podcast and gain access to exclusive behind the scenes extras!
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-8825901 Wed, 07 Jul 2021 10:00:00 -0400 507 finding ok, metoo, me too, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, letters for the fire, #lettersforthefire, unsent letters, catharsis, closure, empowerment, trauma healing, therapy 3 4 full false Animal Pharmacy Animal Pharmacy Cara Elizabeth is the creator of the Animal Pharmacy Deck. Cara is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and when she couldn't find the healing tools that worked for her she created her own.
.
Cara Elizabeth is an artist who resides in Brooklyn. She received her Bachelor's degree from Massachusetts College of Art and Design with a focus in Painting and her MFA in Experimental Animation from CalArts. She is a Baháʼí and grew up in a Baháʼí family, which fostered her search to independently investigate all spiritual teachings and the science of reality. 
.
Cara Elizabeth credits her decades of complex PTSD, due to childhood sexual trauma, as not only her greatest asset but what led to her creation of Animal Pharmacy. After very little success with healing from both western and alternative medical practices, Cara finally chose to no longer look outside of herself to fix what was broken, but, instead to go within and heal herself. This is how Animal Pharmacy was born.

Animal Pharmacy Website
https://www.animalpharmacycards.com/

Scripting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QODevecChWs

TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@animalpharmacy?lang=en

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/animalpharmacy/?hl=en

Andrea Gibson - I Sing the Body Electric, Especially When My Power's Out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAySTOeC2NY


Support the show

]]> Cara Elizabeth is the creator of the Animal Pharmacy Deck. Cara is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and when she couldn't find the healing tools that worked for her she created her own.
.
Cara Elizabeth is an artist who resides in Brooklyn. She received her Bachelor's degree from Massachusetts College of Art and Design with a focus in Painting and her MFA in Experimental Animation from CalArts. She is a Baháʼí and grew up in a Baháʼí family, which fostered her search to independently investigate all spiritual teachings and the science of reality. 
.
Cara Elizabeth credits her decades of complex PTSD, due to childhood sexual trauma, as not only her greatest asset but what led to her creation of Animal Pharmacy. After very little success with healing from both western and alternative medical practices, Cara finally chose to no longer look outside of herself to fix what was broken, but, instead to go within and heal herself. This is how Animal Pharmacy was born.

Animal Pharmacy Website
https://www.animalpharmacycards.com/

Scripting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QODevecChWs

TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@animalpharmacy?lang=en

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/animalpharmacy/?hl=en

Andrea Gibson - I Sing the Body Electric, Especially When My Power's Out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAySTOeC2NY


Support the show

]]> Cara Elizabeth Buzzsprout-8729972 Wed, 23 Jun 2021 09:00:00 -0400 6075 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, spirituality, animal pharmacy, oracle deck, cara elizabeth, card deck, readings, intuitive readings, Baha'i, animal medicine, animal teacher, 3 3 full true Healing in the Wake of Addiction Healing in the Wake of Addiction NJ Lechnir joins me to discuss his book, "Addiction, Loss and Recovery: How to Deeply Understand the Mindset of Addictive Behavior and Win the Battle".  NJ shares the difficulties of growing up with an alcoholic father, his struggles with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, and how he has transformed former areas of insecurity into strengths that he shares with others.

 NJ is the author of two self-published books titled, Addiction Loss and Recovery: How to Deeply Understand the Mindset of Addictive Behavior and Win the Battle and, Leapfrogging Success: 5 Simple Steps to Powerful Presentations and Public Speaking for Nerds, Techies and Introverts. Having struggled with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts all his life, and always struggling with intense anxiety of public speaking, he decided to break out of his shell and change all of that. In his books, NJ goes deep into his past and describes events that shape who he is today. Working as a successful Learning and Development professional, he is also founder of a revolutionary platform called The LEAPS Method, a 5 step framework that he developed and teaches in learning courses, workshops, books, articles, videos, and personalized coaching to help anxious analytical introverts like himself become powerful speakers and presenters. NJ loves reading, running, and photography. He is a loving husband and father of six children.

Episode Notes:

Website
https://leapfroggingsuccess.com/

Books
https://leapfroggingsuccess.com/download-resources/

https://www.amazon.com/Leapfrogging-Success-Powerful-Presentations-Introverts-ebook/dp/B071FL81DC

Medium
https://medium.com/@njlechnir


Support the show

]]> NJ Lechnir joins me to discuss his book, "Addiction, Loss and Recovery: How to Deeply Understand the Mindset of Addictive Behavior and Win the Battle".  NJ shares the difficulties of growing up with an alcoholic father, his struggles with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, and how he has transformed former areas of insecurity into strengths that he shares with others.

 NJ is the author of two self-published books titled, Addiction Loss and Recovery: How to Deeply Understand the Mindset of Addictive Behavior and Win the Battle and, Leapfrogging Success: 5 Simple Steps to Powerful Presentations and Public Speaking for Nerds, Techies and Introverts. Having struggled with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts all his life, and always struggling with intense anxiety of public speaking, he decided to break out of his shell and change all of that. In his books, NJ goes deep into his past and describes events that shape who he is today. Working as a successful Learning and Development professional, he is also founder of a revolutionary platform called The LEAPS Method, a 5 step framework that he developed and teaches in learning courses, workshops, books, articles, videos, and personalized coaching to help anxious analytical introverts like himself become powerful speakers and presenters. NJ loves reading, running, and photography. He is a loving husband and father of six children.

Episode Notes:

Website
https://leapfroggingsuccess.com/

Books
https://leapfroggingsuccess.com/download-resources/

https://www.amazon.com/Leapfrogging-Success-Powerful-Presentations-Introverts-ebook/dp/B071FL81DC

Medium
https://medium.com/@njlechnir


Support the show

]]> NJ Lechnir Buzzsprout-8668382 Wed, 09 Jun 2021 09:00:00 -0400 4380 finding ok, trauma, ptsd, self care, abuse, healing, survivor, depression, anxiety, mental health, suicide, alcoholism, addiction, recovery, child abuse 3 2 full false Thank You! - Season 3 Thank You! - Season 3 Welcome to Season 3! In today's episode I thank everyone who has made Finding OK possible, I share what I got up to on my break, and let you know about some changes with the podcast moving forward. I'm back!

Ramshackle Glory
https://ramshackleglory.bandcamp.com/

Talk Shit With P - guest episodes
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBEx

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBEx

BishPuddin666 on Twitch
https://www.twitch.tv/bishpuddin666

Sway_ASMR on Twitch
https://www.twitch.tv/sway_asmr

Play FM - Best Sexual Assault Podcasts of 2021
https://player.fm/podcasts/Sexual-Assault

NCC
https://www.notcoolclub.co.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/notcoolucl/

The Every Voice Coalition
https://www.everyvoicecoalition.org/




Support the show

]]> Welcome to Season 3! In today's episode I thank everyone who has made Finding OK possible, I share what I got up to on my break, and let you know about some changes with the podcast moving forward. I'm back!

Ramshackle Glory
https://ramshackleglory.bandcamp.com/

Talk Shit With P - guest episodes
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBEx

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBEx

BishPuddin666 on Twitch
https://www.twitch.tv/bishpuddin666

Sway_ASMR on Twitch
https://www.twitch.tv/sway_asmr

Play FM - Best Sexual Assault Podcasts of 2021
https://player.fm/podcasts/Sexual-Assault

NCC
https://www.notcoolclub.co.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/notcoolucl/

The Every Voice Coalition
https://www.everyvoicecoalition.org/




Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-8594659 Wed, 26 May 2021 16:00:00 -0400 1567 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, healing, recovery, survivor, self care, abuse, thank you, neurodiversity, twitch, rest, vacation, pandemic, 3 1 full false Travel Can Heal Travel Can Heal Jackie Roby shares her healing journey and the work she does in the world with healing and wellness travel. Jackie and I discuss the importance of asking for help, showing up authentically in personal and professional spaces, secret keeping and communication in families, healing from childhood sexual abuse, diversity, and anti-racism work. She shares how healing and wellness travel has transformed her life and helped her heal and release shame.
Jackie is a speaker, podcaster, writer, solution strategist, social media amplifier, yoga lover, travel addict, fierce foodie, empath to the core, wife, mother, and the CEO of Inspired Journey Consulting. 

Jackie's Website
https://inspiredjourneyconsulting.com/

Jackie's Blog - Through Inspired Eyes
https://inspiredjourneyconsulting.com/blog/

Jackie's Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/through-inspired-eyes-travel-can-heal/id1544605633

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/inspiredjourneyconsulting/?hl=en

Books recommended by Jackie
https://bookshop.org/books/excuse-me-your-life-is-waiting-the-astonishing-power-of-feelings/9781571747358

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/129603.You_Can_Heal_Your_Life

https://bookshop.org/books/big-magic-creative-living-beyond-fear/9781594634727

Jackie and I both love this meditation app!
https://insighttimer.com/meditation-app

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spotlightsix.zentimerlite2&hl=en_US&gl=US

Marco Polo App
https://www.marcopolo.me/

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=co.happybits.marcopolo

Support the show

]]> Jackie Roby shares her healing journey and the work she does in the world with healing and wellness travel. Jackie and I discuss the importance of asking for help, showing up authentically in personal and professional spaces, secret keeping and communication in families, healing from childhood sexual abuse, diversity, and anti-racism work. She shares how healing and wellness travel has transformed her life and helped her heal and release shame.
Jackie is a speaker, podcaster, writer, solution strategist, social media amplifier, yoga lover, travel addict, fierce foodie, empath to the core, wife, mother, and the CEO of Inspired Journey Consulting. 

Jackie's Website
https://inspiredjourneyconsulting.com/

Jackie's Blog - Through Inspired Eyes
https://inspiredjourneyconsulting.com/blog/

Jackie's Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/through-inspired-eyes-travel-can-heal/id1544605633

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/inspiredjourneyconsulting/?hl=en

Books recommended by Jackie
https://bookshop.org/books/excuse-me-your-life-is-waiting-the-astonishing-power-of-feelings/9781571747358

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/129603.You_Can_Heal_Your_Life

https://bookshop.org/books/big-magic-creative-living-beyond-fear/9781594634727

Jackie and I both love this meditation app!
https://insighttimer.com/meditation-app

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spotlightsix.zentimerlite2&hl=en_US&gl=US

Marco Polo App
https://www.marcopolo.me/

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=co.happybits.marcopolo

Support the show

]]> Jackie Roby Buzzsprout-8168720 Wed, 31 Mar 2021 07:00:00 -0400 3826 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, self care, abuse, healing, survivor, childhood sexual abuse, latina, racism, inspired journey consulting, wellness travel, travel, yoga, meditation, therapy, mental health 2 32 full false Inspired By U Inspired By U Santéresa shares her story of trauma and healing, her experience reporting rape and going through the justice system, and she discusses her beautiful book, "Releasing My Secret: A 30 Day Devotional to Support Your Healing Process". She talks about her work at the Rape Crisis Center and how she created Inspired By U to help people become their full and whole selves. She also shares the importance of faith in her life and her healing journey. 
Santéresa Wilson is the CEO of Inspired By U, LLC, she is an inspirational speaker, author, Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, she has served as a Certified Mentor Volunteer with Prison Fellowship and a Sexual Assault Response Team Volunteer Advocate for her local Rape Crisis Center. She holds her degree in Divinity from Christian Leaders College.

Website
https://santeresaw.com/

"Releasing My Secret: A 30 Day Devotional to Support Your Healing Process"
https://www.amazon.com/Santeresa-Wilson/e/B07ZZGL8BP

Take Back The Night Speech (TW)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfCK0fW9As4

Support the show

]]> Santéresa shares her story of trauma and healing, her experience reporting rape and going through the justice system, and she discusses her beautiful book, "Releasing My Secret: A 30 Day Devotional to Support Your Healing Process". She talks about her work at the Rape Crisis Center and how she created Inspired By U to help people become their full and whole selves. She also shares the importance of faith in her life and her healing journey. 
Santéresa Wilson is the CEO of Inspired By U, LLC, she is an inspirational speaker, author, Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, she has served as a Certified Mentor Volunteer with Prison Fellowship and a Sexual Assault Response Team Volunteer Advocate for her local Rape Crisis Center. She holds her degree in Divinity from Christian Leaders College.

Website
https://santeresaw.com/

"Releasing My Secret: A 30 Day Devotional to Support Your Healing Process"
https://www.amazon.com/Santeresa-Wilson/e/B07ZZGL8BP

Take Back The Night Speech (TW)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfCK0fW9As4

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Santéresa Buzzsprout-8163883 Wed, 24 Mar 2021 06:00:00 -0400 5050 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, justice system, survivor, rape crisis center, reporting rape, faith, jesus, christianity, Inspired By U, Santeresa Wilson, life coach, author 2 31 full true The Way We Judge Ourselves In Quarantine The Way We Judge Ourselves In Quarantine Eliot returns to the show to chat with me about various ways that the pandemic is affecting us. While chatting the other day we discovered each of us was putting the other up on a pedestal as a person who had been "productive" during the pandemic, and then devaluing our own accomplishments. We talk about video games, virtual community, social issues, mental health, productivity, neurodivergence, burnout, self-care, art school, sleep hygiene, and valuing yourself and your unique contributions. Laughs and F-bombs ahoy!
Artwork used in cover by Eliot!

Tw/Cw: Depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, substances, Covid-19, and the pandemic

Real Human Better is now on Discord!
https://discordapp.com/channels/@me/812871061670068224/821134783735267338

Real Human Better Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897

Heather Chelan - @hebontheweb
Pandemic Song
https://www.instagram.com/p/CDRV20fp3A-/

Sleep Hygiene!
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene
http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips

Flux - Computer lighting control to improve health/sleep
Kim's recommends it!
https://justgetflux.com/

Support the show

]]> Eliot returns to the show to chat with me about various ways that the pandemic is affecting us. While chatting the other day we discovered each of us was putting the other up on a pedestal as a person who had been "productive" during the pandemic, and then devaluing our own accomplishments. We talk about video games, virtual community, social issues, mental health, productivity, neurodivergence, burnout, self-care, art school, sleep hygiene, and valuing yourself and your unique contributions. Laughs and F-bombs ahoy!
Artwork used in cover by Eliot!

Tw/Cw: Depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, substances, Covid-19, and the pandemic

Real Human Better is now on Discord!
https://discordapp.com/channels/@me/812871061670068224/821134783735267338

Real Human Better Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897

Heather Chelan - @hebontheweb
Pandemic Song
https://www.instagram.com/p/CDRV20fp3A-/

Sleep Hygiene!
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene
http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips

Flux - Computer lighting control to improve health/sleep
Kim's recommends it!
https://justgetflux.com/

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Eliot Buzzsprout-8141154 Wed, 17 Mar 2021 06:00:00 -0400 4369 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, self care, abuse, healing, survivor, neurodiversity, ADHD, depression, anxiety, mental health, mental illness, covid-19, pandemic, quarantine, sleep hygiene, productivity, self worth 2 30 full true Raven Transcending Fear Raven Transcending Fear Terri Kozlowski joins me to discuss her new book, "Raven Transcending Fear". Terri is a writer, educator, leader, artist, life coach, podcaster, blogger, and a proud Native American of the Athabaskan, Gwich'in Tribe - Raven Clan. Terri is a survivor of childhood sexual assault and trauma. She shares her healing journey, her reclamation of authentic self, her decision to be a survivor rather than a victim, her daily personal practice, and her decision to choose love over fear.

Tw/Cw: Sexual assault, r*pe, trauma, abuse, child abuse, addiction, substances, abandonment, racism, ancestral trauma, religion, and spirituality.

Terri's Website
https://terrikozlowski.com/

Raven Transcending Fear
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1949798801/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Soul Solutions Podcast
https://terrikozlowski.com/soul-solutions-podcast/

A Course in Miracles
https://acim.org/

Kintsugi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LMKGte0UU

https://medium.com/@andreamantovani/kintsugi-and-the-art-of-repair-life-is-what-makes-us-b4af13a39921

https://mymodernmet.com/kintsugi-kintsukuroi/


Support the show

]]> Terri Kozlowski joins me to discuss her new book, "Raven Transcending Fear". Terri is a writer, educator, leader, artist, life coach, podcaster, blogger, and a proud Native American of the Athabaskan, Gwich'in Tribe - Raven Clan. Terri is a survivor of childhood sexual assault and trauma. She shares her healing journey, her reclamation of authentic self, her decision to be a survivor rather than a victim, her daily personal practice, and her decision to choose love over fear.

Tw/Cw: Sexual assault, r*pe, trauma, abuse, child abuse, addiction, substances, abandonment, racism, ancestral trauma, religion, and spirituality.

Terri's Website
https://terrikozlowski.com/

Raven Transcending Fear
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1949798801/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Soul Solutions Podcast
https://terrikozlowski.com/soul-solutions-podcast/

A Course in Miracles
https://acim.org/

Kintsugi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LMKGte0UU

https://medium.com/@andreamantovani/kintsugi-and-the-art-of-repair-life-is-what-makes-us-b4af13a39921

https://mymodernmet.com/kintsugi-kintsukuroi/


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]]> Hecate/Terri Kozlowski Buzzsprout-8112732 Wed, 10 Mar 2021 06:00:00 -0500 4336 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, survivor, raven transcending fear, author, Terri Kozlowski, native american, indigenous, spirituality, faith, hope, course in miracles, child abuse, alcoholism, inspiration 2 29 full false Taking Care of Myself - An Update Taking Care of Myself - An Update Finding OK will be finishing Season 2 at the end of this month and I will be taking a break before returning with Season 3 in late May! There are lots of new and exciting things happening with the podcast and new ways you can connect with me! Finding OK is now the #1 Mental Health Podcast in Jamaica!

Support the show

]]> Finding OK will be finishing Season 2 at the end of this month and I will be taking a break before returning with Season 3 in late May! There are lots of new and exciting things happening with the podcast and new ways you can connect with me! Finding OK is now the #1 Mental Health Podcast in Jamaica!

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-8071112 Wed, 03 Mar 2021 17:00:00 -0500 558 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, survivor, mental health podcast, update 2 28 full false Horses and Yoga - Beyond Talk Therapy Horses and Yoga - Beyond Talk Therapy Cailin returns to share new aspects of their healing journey! Cailin has started Equine Therapy and we also discuss the important role that Yoga plays in their life and healing. Join us for a conversation about somatic alternatives or additions to talk therapy. 

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]]> Cailin returns to share new aspects of their healing journey! Cailin has started Equine Therapy and we also discuss the important role that Yoga plays in their life and healing. Join us for a conversation about somatic alternatives or additions to talk therapy. 

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Cailin Buzzsprout-7839439 Wed, 24 Feb 2021 06:00:00 -0500 4901 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, horse, horses, yoga, equine therapy, therapy, somatic healing, somatic therapy, alternative healing, holistic healing, animal assisted therapy 2 27 full true Healing the Survivors Healing the Survivors Jacquelyn Weis is the author of, "Healing the Survivors - 8 Steps to Whole-Self Healing". She is a member of the Northwestern Band Shoshone Nation, a Certified Emotion Code Practitioner, Body Code Practitioner, T3 Therapist, Native Herbalist, Native Holistic Healer, mother, and wife. Jacquelyn shares how strong women, community support, cultural practices, and holistic healing modalities saved her life and helped her heal after her traumas. We discuss generational/ancestral trauma, the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirit movement (MMIWG2S), and what non-native people can do to help. She also shares a beautiful song in her native language to bring survivors strength, power, and healing.

Tw/Cw: Sexual assault, rape, trauma, PTSD, depression, suicide, trafficking, violence, genocide, systemic oppression, generational trauma, racism, and spirituality.

Jacquelyn's Website
https://www.jacquelynweis.com/index

Healing the Survivors Book
https://www.jacquelynweis.com/books

Healing the Survivors Podcast
https://anchor.fm/jacquelyn-weis

Missing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirit
https://www.csvanw.org/mmiw
https://mmiwusa.org/

Indigenous Intentions - Supports MMIWG2S
https://www.etsy.com/shop/IndigenousIntentions?ref=s2-header-shopname

Northwestern Band Shoshone Nation
https://nwbshoshone.squarespace.com/
https://utahindians.org/archives/shoshone/history.html

Native Land Map
https://native-land.ca/

InsideOut Institute
https://www.theinsideoutinstitute.com/home-page1588712601767

Emotion Code
https://discoverhealing.com/the-emotion-code/

Support the show

]]> Jacquelyn Weis is the author of, "Healing the Survivors - 8 Steps to Whole-Self Healing". She is a member of the Northwestern Band Shoshone Nation, a Certified Emotion Code Practitioner, Body Code Practitioner, T3 Therapist, Native Herbalist, Native Holistic Healer, mother, and wife. Jacquelyn shares how strong women, community support, cultural practices, and holistic healing modalities saved her life and helped her heal after her traumas. We discuss generational/ancestral trauma, the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirit movement (MMIWG2S), and what non-native people can do to help. She also shares a beautiful song in her native language to bring survivors strength, power, and healing.

Tw/Cw: Sexual assault, rape, trauma, PTSD, depression, suicide, trafficking, violence, genocide, systemic oppression, generational trauma, racism, and spirituality.

Jacquelyn's Website
https://www.jacquelynweis.com/index

Healing the Survivors Book
https://www.jacquelynweis.com/books

Healing the Survivors Podcast
https://anchor.fm/jacquelyn-weis

Missing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirit
https://www.csvanw.org/mmiw
https://mmiwusa.org/

Indigenous Intentions - Supports MMIWG2S
https://www.etsy.com/shop/IndigenousIntentions?ref=s2-header-shopname

Northwestern Band Shoshone Nation
https://nwbshoshone.squarespace.com/
https://utahindians.org/archives/shoshone/history.html

Native Land Map
https://native-land.ca/

InsideOut Institute
https://www.theinsideoutinstitute.com/home-page1588712601767

Emotion Code
https://discoverhealing.com/the-emotion-code/

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Jacquelyn Buzzsprout-7756966 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 06:00:00 -0500 4792 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, Healing the Survivors, emotion code, insideout institute, indigenous, shoshone, native american, MMIW, MMIWG2S, hope, holistic healing, spirituality 2 26 full true Restorative Justice - Radical Imagining - Part 2 Restorative Justice - Radical Imagining - Part 2 Lily Sage and I discuss the ways that our current punitive judicial system fails all of us, especially the marginalized and survivors of sexual assault, and we discuss Restorative Justice as a potential alternative. Lily and I continue our discussion about Restorative Justice, what it is, what it has to offer, how it challenges us, and some of the issues and obstacles to implementing some form of it in our society.
Land Acknowledgement - Lily is joining us from O'gah'Pog'eh or White Shell Place, occupied Tewa lands otherwise known as Santa Fe, NM. Hecate is living on Wappinger, and Munsee Lenape occupied lands on the East Coast.

Tw/Cw: sexual assault, rape, trauma, trafficking, suicide, violence, the justice system, police, systemic oppression, racism, eugenics, ableism, generational trauma, addiction, substances, and the pandemic.

Video on the Santa Fe Obelisk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fySNkGPsNWI
Legal Aid for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!
https://dsasantafe.org/legal-aid
Petition for clemency for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!
https://www.change.org/p/mayor-webber-clemency-for-sf-obelisk-five
O'Gah Po'Geh Altar Project
https://www.ogahpogehaltarproject.com/
Article by Southwestern Contemporary
https://southwestcontemporary.com/is-the-public-art-project-at-the-santa-fe-plaza-obelisk-allyship-or-artwashing/
Restoratice Justice and the SF Obelisk
https://retakeourdemocracy.org/2020/10/28/using-restorative-justice-to-address-the-obelisk-could-have-national-implications/

Indigenous Peacemaking Initiative
https://peacemaking.narf.org/

Philly Survivor Support Collective (Philly's Pissed directs you here)
https://phillysurvivorsupportcollective.wordpress.com/

INCITE! - A network of radical feminists of color organizing to end state violence and violence in their homes and communities.
https://incite-national.org/

National Native American Boarding School Healing Coalition
https://boardingschoolhealing.org/

Missing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirit
https://www.csvanw.org/mmiw
https://mmiwusa.org/
https://www.niwrc.org/sites/default/files/documents/Resources/nm_mmiwr_report_final_web_v120920.pdf

Dr. Christina M. Castro
https://ndncollective.org/people/dr-christina-m-castro/
Three Sisters Collective
https://threesisterscollective.org/
Media Education Foundation
https://www.mediaed.org/
Palestine Chronicle Article
https://www.palestinechronicle.com/love-me-love-me-im-a-liberal-from-peter-beinart-to-santa-fes-liberal-mayor/

Support the show

]]> Lily Sage and I discuss the ways that our current punitive judicial system fails all of us, especially the marginalized and survivors of sexual assault, and we discuss Restorative Justice as a potential alternative. Lily and I continue our discussion about Restorative Justice, what it is, what it has to offer, how it challenges us, and some of the issues and obstacles to implementing some form of it in our society.
Land Acknowledgement - Lily is joining us from O'gah'Pog'eh or White Shell Place, occupied Tewa lands otherwise known as Santa Fe, NM. Hecate is living on Wappinger, and Munsee Lenape occupied lands on the East Coast.

Tw/Cw: sexual assault, rape, trauma, trafficking, suicide, violence, the justice system, police, systemic oppression, racism, eugenics, ableism, generational trauma, addiction, substances, and the pandemic.

Video on the Santa Fe Obelisk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fySNkGPsNWI
Legal Aid for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!
https://dsasantafe.org/legal-aid
Petition for clemency for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!
https://www.change.org/p/mayor-webber-clemency-for-sf-obelisk-five
O'Gah Po'Geh Altar Project
https://www.ogahpogehaltarproject.com/
Article by Southwestern Contemporary
https://southwestcontemporary.com/is-the-public-art-project-at-the-santa-fe-plaza-obelisk-allyship-or-artwashing/
Restoratice Justice and the SF Obelisk
https://retakeourdemocracy.org/2020/10/28/using-restorative-justice-to-address-the-obelisk-could-have-national-implications/

Indigenous Peacemaking Initiative
https://peacemaking.narf.org/

Philly Survivor Support Collective (Philly's Pissed directs you here)
https://phillysurvivorsupportcollective.wordpress.com/

INCITE! - A network of radical feminists of color organizing to end state violence and violence in their homes and communities.
https://incite-national.org/

National Native American Boarding School Healing Coalition
https://boardingschoolhealing.org/

Missing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirit
https://www.csvanw.org/mmiw
https://mmiwusa.org/
https://www.niwrc.org/sites/default/files/documents/Resources/nm_mmiwr_report_final_web_v120920.pdf

Dr. Christina M. Castro
https://ndncollective.org/people/dr-christina-m-castro/
Three Sisters Collective
https://threesisterscollective.org/
Media Education Foundation
https://www.mediaed.org/
Palestine Chronicle Article
https://www.palestinechronicle.com/love-me-love-me-im-a-liberal-from-peter-beinart-to-santa-fes-liberal-mayor/

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Lily Sage Buzzsprout-7743391 Wed, 10 Feb 2021 06:00:00 -0500 3648 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, abuse, healing, justice system, survivor, restorative justice, transformative justice, MMIW, MMIWG2S, black lives matter, prison, santa fe obelisk 2 25 full true Restorative Justice - Radical Imagining - Part 1 Restorative Justice - Radical Imagining - Part 1 Lily Sage and I discuss the ways that our current punitive judicial system fails all of us, especially the marginalized and survivors of sexual assault, and we discuss Restorative Justice as a potential alternative. Lily discusses a paper she wrote before the Me Too movement and how many of the concepts and ideas that were groundbreaking a decade ago are now much more a part of our evolving social consciousness. She shares her personal introduction to Restorative Justice, what it is, what it has to offer, how it challenges us, and some of the issues and obstacles to implementing some form of it in our society.
Land Acknowledgement - Lily is joining us from O'gah'Pog'eh or White Shell Place, occupied Tewa lands otherwise known as Santa Fe, NM. Hecate is living on Wappinger, and Munsee Lenape occupied lands on the East Coast.

Tw/Cw: sexual assault, rape, trauma, violence, suicide, the justice system, police, systemic oppression, racism, eugenics, ableism, generational trauma, addiction, substances, and the pandemic.

Video on the Santa Fe Obelisk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fySNkGPsNWI
Legal Aid for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!
https://dsasantafe.org/legal-aid/
Petition for clemency for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!
https://www.change.org/p/mayor-webber-clemency-for-sf-obelisk-five

Kay Pranis - Living Justice Press
http://www.livingjusticepress.org/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC=%7B5EA7355F-29D7-411D-A977-BF092BC6CC9C%7D

Angela Davis
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_Davis
Abolitionist Toolkit from Critical Resistance - Founded by Angela Davis
http://criticalresistance.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/CR-Abolitionist-Toolkit-online.pdf

Adrienne Maree Brown
http://adriennemareebrown.net/2015/07/09/what-isisnt-transformative-justice/

Girls Town Movie trailer
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=girls+town+movie1996

Philly's Pissed - (no longer active)
https://www.phillyspissed.net/
Philly Survivor Support Collective (Philly's Pissed directs you here)
https://phillysurvivorsupportcollective.wordpress.com/
Philly Stands Up (created after Philly's Pissed)
https://phillystandsup.wordpress.com/

Sex Offender Rehabilitation
https://www.prisonfellowship.org/2011/05/working-with-sex-offenders-what-you-need-to-know/
Sex Offender Rehabilitation Center - I just found this and can't speak to it in any way...but it looks very promising and has been around since the 80's. Check it out if you have the spoons, it's very interesting. This looks like a group that's been doing the work we talk about in the episode as being needed.
https://www.teachinghumaneexistence.com/
I couldn't find any articles I was happy with about the sex offender tent camps, but if you have access to the show "Our America with Lisa Ling" there's an excellent epis

Support the show

]]> Lily Sage and I discuss the ways that our current punitive judicial system fails all of us, especially the marginalized and survivors of sexual assault, and we discuss Restorative Justice as a potential alternative. Lily discusses a paper she wrote before the Me Too movement and how many of the concepts and ideas that were groundbreaking a decade ago are now much more a part of our evolving social consciousness. She shares her personal introduction to Restorative Justice, what it is, what it has to offer, how it challenges us, and some of the issues and obstacles to implementing some form of it in our society.
Land Acknowledgement - Lily is joining us from O'gah'Pog'eh or White Shell Place, occupied Tewa lands otherwise known as Santa Fe, NM. Hecate is living on Wappinger, and Munsee Lenape occupied lands on the East Coast.

Tw/Cw: sexual assault, rape, trauma, violence, suicide, the justice system, police, systemic oppression, racism, eugenics, ableism, generational trauma, addiction, substances, and the pandemic.

Video on the Santa Fe Obelisk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fySNkGPsNWI
Legal Aid for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!
https://dsasantafe.org/legal-aid/
Petition for clemency for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!
https://www.change.org/p/mayor-webber-clemency-for-sf-obelisk-five

Kay Pranis - Living Justice Press
http://www.livingjusticepress.org/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC=%7B5EA7355F-29D7-411D-A977-BF092BC6CC9C%7D

Angela Davis
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_Davis
Abolitionist Toolkit from Critical Resistance - Founded by Angela Davis
http://criticalresistance.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/CR-Abolitionist-Toolkit-online.pdf

Adrienne Maree Brown
http://adriennemareebrown.net/2015/07/09/what-isisnt-transformative-justice/

Girls Town Movie trailer
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=girls+town+movie1996

Philly's Pissed - (no longer active)
https://www.phillyspissed.net/
Philly Survivor Support Collective (Philly's Pissed directs you here)
https://phillysurvivorsupportcollective.wordpress.com/
Philly Stands Up (created after Philly's Pissed)
https://phillystandsup.wordpress.com/

Sex Offender Rehabilitation
https://www.prisonfellowship.org/2011/05/working-with-sex-offenders-what-you-need-to-know/
Sex Offender Rehabilitation Center - I just found this and can't speak to it in any way...but it looks very promising and has been around since the 80's. Check it out if you have the spoons, it's very interesting. This looks like a group that's been doing the work we talk about in the episode as being needed.
https://www.teachinghumaneexistence.com/
I couldn't find any articles I was happy with about the sex offender tent camps, but if you have access to the show "Our America with Lisa Ling" there's an excellent epis

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Lily Sage Buzzsprout-7642780 Wed, 03 Feb 2021 06:00:00 -0500 3653 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, abuse, healing, justice system, survivor, restorative justice, transformative justice, feminism, intersectionality, state violence, prison system, defund the police, sex offenders, santa fe obelisk 2 24 full true The Secrets of My Mother - Breaking Free from Generational Curses and Trauma The Secrets of My Mother - Breaking Free from Generational Curses and Trauma Janitta Nichols is a speaker, writer, and the author of, "The Secrets of My Mother - Breaking Free from Generational Curses and Trauma". Janitta is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and she shares her healing process. Janitta left her career as a police officer behind to speak her truth. She is breaking the cycle for her family with faith, love, courage, and forgiveness.

Tw/Cw: Trauma, PTSD, abuse, childhood sexual abuse, substances and addiction, depression, suicide, religion, spirituality, police, racism, systemic oppression, and generational trauma. 

The Secrets of My Mother - Breaking Free from Generational Curses and Trauma
https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-My-Mother-Breaking-Generational-ebook/dp/B08PSPZJHB

Janitta's Website
http://www.janittanichols.com/

Support the show

]]> Janitta Nichols is a speaker, writer, and the author of, "The Secrets of My Mother - Breaking Free from Generational Curses and Trauma". Janitta is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and she shares her healing process. Janitta left her career as a police officer behind to speak her truth. She is breaking the cycle for her family with faith, love, courage, and forgiveness.

Tw/Cw: Trauma, PTSD, abuse, childhood sexual abuse, substances and addiction, depression, suicide, religion, spirituality, police, racism, systemic oppression, and generational trauma. 

The Secrets of My Mother - Breaking Free from Generational Curses and Trauma
https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-My-Mother-Breaking-Generational-ebook/dp/B08PSPZJHB

Janitta's Website
http://www.janittanichols.com/

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Janitta Buzzsprout-7437232 Wed, 27 Jan 2021 06:00:00 -0500 4278 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, childhood sexual abuse, child abuse, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, faith, god's love, forgiveness 2 23 full false In Witch I Curse a Man on a Bus In Witch I Curse a Man on a Bus In this episode I share a personal story of freezing during an assault and talk about forgiving ourselves for moments we weren't able to respond as we might have wished. I share a little bit about traveling in India and some of the safety measures I have taken over the years during my time there. I also share a personal practice that is a part of my own healing journey.

Gulabi Gang - These women give me life
https://gulabigang.in/

Chappal Marungi - Movement to combat "Eve Teasing" or Cat calling
https://www.ndtv.com/mumbai-news/chappal-marungi-a-new-campaign-against-eve-teasing-468338

TW for this article, it is upsetting but talks about the years following the Delhi bus attack
https://time.com/5754565/india-rape-new-delhi-bus-attack/

History and Cultural context - TW for this one too
https://sayfty.com/pay-attention-rapes-in-india/


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]]> In this episode I share a personal story of freezing during an assault and talk about forgiving ourselves for moments we weren't able to respond as we might have wished. I share a little bit about traveling in India and some of the safety measures I have taken over the years during my time there. I also share a personal practice that is a part of my own healing journey.

Gulabi Gang - These women give me life
https://gulabigang.in/

Chappal Marungi - Movement to combat "Eve Teasing" or Cat calling
https://www.ndtv.com/mumbai-news/chappal-marungi-a-new-campaign-against-eve-teasing-468338

TW for this article, it is upsetting but talks about the years following the Delhi bus attack
https://time.com/5754565/india-rape-new-delhi-bus-attack/

History and Cultural context - TW for this one too
https://sayfty.com/pay-attention-rapes-in-india/


Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-7403368 Wed, 20 Jan 2021 21:00:00 -0500 1721 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, abuse, healing, survivor, queer, nonbinary, passing privilege, India, traveling alone, molestation, eve teasing, witch, witchcraft, curse, hex, time travel, nonlinear time 2 22 full true Laughs On Wry Laughs On Wry Lisa David Olson is a speaker, creative coach, podcaster, comedian, and the author of the book, "Laughs On Wry - An Improviser's Memoir". Lisa loves connecting with people through humor, laughing, pranking, being brave, hot yoga, coffee, and embarrassing her kids. She is always on the lookout for more of her favorite people: weirdos.

Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, child abuse, PTSD, alcoholism, substances, death, weight, and the pandemic.

Website
http://www.lisadavidolson.com/

Laughs on Wry - An Improviser's Memoir
https://www.amazon.com/Laughs-Wry-Lisa-David-Olson-ebook/dp/B07C2QPGSG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523649824&sr=8-1&keywords=laughs+on+wry

Stranger Connections - Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stranger-connections/id1516167809

Phun on the Phone
https://www.amazon.com/Phun-Phone-Lisa-David-Olson/dp/B08RZ3VSXZ

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1trewywUZ6NRzr9MBPJU_Q

Support the show

]]> Lisa David Olson is a speaker, creative coach, podcaster, comedian, and the author of the book, "Laughs On Wry - An Improviser's Memoir". Lisa loves connecting with people through humor, laughing, pranking, being brave, hot yoga, coffee, and embarrassing her kids. She is always on the lookout for more of her favorite people: weirdos.

Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, child abuse, PTSD, alcoholism, substances, death, weight, and the pandemic.

Website
http://www.lisadavidolson.com/

Laughs on Wry - An Improviser's Memoir
https://www.amazon.com/Laughs-Wry-Lisa-David-Olson-ebook/dp/B07C2QPGSG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523649824&sr=8-1&keywords=laughs+on+wry

Stranger Connections - Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stranger-connections/id1516167809

Phun on the Phone
https://www.amazon.com/Phun-Phone-Lisa-David-Olson/dp/B08RZ3VSXZ

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1trewywUZ6NRzr9MBPJU_Q

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Lisa David Olson Buzzsprout-7272187 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 06:00:00 -0500 5576 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, self care, abuse, child abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, comedy, comedian, pranks, parenting, midwest, connection, humor, laughter, Laughs On Wry, Lisa David Olson, Phun on the Phone 2 21 full false bathtub in flames bathtub in flames Bailee Noella is the author of  "bathtub in flames" and creator of Cyno Apparel, the streetwear line taking shame out of mental health conditions. Join me as I talk to her about her writing process and her healing process.

Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, childhood sexual assault, OCD, PTSD, substances, the pandemic, racism and sexism in Medicine, and spirituality.

bathtub in flames:
https://www.amazon.com/bathtub-flames-Bailee-Noella-ebook/dp/B08Q8HJ8TD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=bathtub+in+flames+bailee+noella&qid=1607704449&sr=8-1

Cyno Apparel:
https://www.cynoapparel.com/

Signs of Childhood Abuse:
https://childabuse.stanford.edu/screening/signs.html

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/signs.pdf

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect.htm

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/241532#why-is-it-important


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]]> Bailee Noella is the author of  "bathtub in flames" and creator of Cyno Apparel, the streetwear line taking shame out of mental health conditions. Join me as I talk to her about her writing process and her healing process.

Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, childhood sexual assault, OCD, PTSD, substances, the pandemic, racism and sexism in Medicine, and spirituality.

bathtub in flames:
https://www.amazon.com/bathtub-flames-Bailee-Noella-ebook/dp/B08Q8HJ8TD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=bathtub+in+flames+bailee+noella&qid=1607704449&sr=8-1

Cyno Apparel:
https://www.cynoapparel.com/

Signs of Childhood Abuse:
https://childabuse.stanford.edu/screening/signs.html

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/signs.pdf

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect.htm

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/241532#why-is-it-important


Support the show

]]> Hecate/Bailee Buzzsprout-7151749 Wed, 06 Jan 2021 06:00:00 -0500 5136 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape,self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, bathtub in flames, bailee noella, poetry, streetwear, fashion, mental health, writing, pedophilia, chronic pain, meditation 2 20 full true The Importance of Awe The Importance of Awe The experience of awe is a rarely discussed but incredibly powerful part of growth and healing. In this episode I discuss the benefits of awe, I torture some metaphors, give you some ideas of how to seek out awe in your daily life, and share some of my most memorable experiences of awe that transformed my life or stuck with me over the years.

Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, PTSD, spirituality, and a metaphor involving hypothermia

Articles and research on awe:

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_reasons_why_awe_makes_your_life_better

https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Awe_FINAL.pdf

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-awe/201704/the-emerging-science-awe-and-its-benefits

Shrinkage of the brain:
https://www.bbrfoundation.org/content/shrinkage-brain-structure-linked-severe-ptsd-symptoms-combat-exposure#:~:text=of%20the%20time.-,New%20research%20published%20in%20the%20April%20issue%20of%20the%20journal,with%20fear%20processing%20and%20emotion.

Neuroplasticity

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroplasticity#:~:text=Neuroplasticity%2C%20also%20known%20as%20neural,systematic%20adjustments%20like%20cortical%20remapping.

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01657/full

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]]> The experience of awe is a rarely discussed but incredibly powerful part of growth and healing. In this episode I discuss the benefits of awe, I torture some metaphors, give you some ideas of how to seek out awe in your daily life, and share some of my most memorable experiences of awe that transformed my life or stuck with me over the years.

Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, PTSD, spirituality, and a metaphor involving hypothermia

Articles and research on awe:

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_reasons_why_awe_makes_your_life_better

https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Awe_FINAL.pdf

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-awe/201704/the-emerging-science-awe-and-its-benefits

Shrinkage of the brain:
https://www.bbrfoundation.org/content/shrinkage-brain-structure-linked-severe-ptsd-symptoms-combat-exposure#:~:text=of%20the%20time.-,New%20research%20published%20in%20the%20April%20issue%20of%20the%20journal,with%20fear%20processing%20and%20emotion.

Neuroplasticity

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroplasticity#:~:text=Neuroplasticity%2C%20also%20known%20as%20neural,systematic%20adjustments%20like%20cortical%20remapping.

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01657/full

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]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-7073593 Wed, 30 Dec 2020 22:00:00 -0500 1590 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, awe, sublime, transcendental, spirituality, shiva, beauty, wonder, inspirational, scientific benefits of awe, personal growth, neuroplasticity 2 19 full true Movies with Hecate and Kim Movies with Hecate and Kim Kim and I talk movies and have some laughs. In this episode we cover some more movies with strong women. I talk about a movie I hate and that you should never under any circumstances watch, and Kim introduces me to the movie trope, "Born Sexy Yesterday".

Born Sexy Yesterday
https://youtu.be/0thpEyEwi80

Support the show

]]> Kim and I talk movies and have some laughs. In this episode we cover some more movies with strong women. I talk about a movie I hate and that you should never under any circumstances watch, and Kim introduces me to the movie trope, "Born Sexy Yesterday".

Born Sexy Yesterday
https://youtu.be/0thpEyEwi80

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Kim Buzzsprout-6859957 Wed, 16 Dec 2020 06:00:00 -0500 3833 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, healing, recovery, movies, Edge of Tomorrow, terminator, sarah conner, Alien, Star Trek, Dead Girl, Born Sexy Yesterday, Annihilation, Tangerine, Old Gaurd, ghost, black mirror 2 18 full true Darker Subjects Darker Subjects In this episode Kim and I touch on some darker subject matter. I discuss my experiences with a human cadaver lab, responding as a bystander in a medical emergency, and using my words to escape an abuser. We also talk about how people respond to crisis and nerd it up briefly with Star Trek. Please pay attention to the content warnings, this episode is not for everyone!

Tw/Cw: Death, human anatomy, blood, a story of a medical emergency, trauma, situations of trauma, molestation, stalking, and a single mention of rape.

Kitty Genovese Wiki
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Kitty_Genovese

Kitty Genovese and 911
https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/blog/history-of-911-americas-emergency-service-before-and-after-kitty-genovese/

Bystander Effect
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/bystander-effect

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
(This book is seriously so good)
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32145.Stiff

Support the show

]]> In this episode Kim and I touch on some darker subject matter. I discuss my experiences with a human cadaver lab, responding as a bystander in a medical emergency, and using my words to escape an abuser. We also talk about how people respond to crisis and nerd it up briefly with Star Trek. Please pay attention to the content warnings, this episode is not for everyone!

Tw/Cw: Death, human anatomy, blood, a story of a medical emergency, trauma, situations of trauma, molestation, stalking, and a single mention of rape.

Kitty Genovese Wiki
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Kitty_Genovese

Kitty Genovese and 911
https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/blog/history-of-911-americas-emergency-service-before-and-after-kitty-genovese/

Bystander Effect
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/bystander-effect

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
(This book is seriously so good)
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32145.Stiff

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-6774250 Wed, 09 Dec 2020 15:00:00 -0500 1803 metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, abuse, healing, Kitty Genovese, cadaver lab, stiff, death, medical emergency, bystander effect, good samaritan, crisis, survivor 2 17 full true Rich Inner Worlds Rich Inner Worlds In this episode I discuss the importance of creating and nurturing a rich inner life. I open up about how my own inner world as a child saved my life and use this example to help explain how mindful cultivation of inner landscapes of beauty and hope can be an essential and potentially lifesaving tool during times of prolonged stress and crisis.

Tw/Cw: Child abuse, trauma, PTSD, stress, chronic illness, suicidal ideation, the pandemic, horror movie senarios used briefly in jest.

Hierarchy of Needs referenced in episode
https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Support the show

]]> In this episode I discuss the importance of creating and nurturing a rich inner life. I open up about how my own inner world as a child saved my life and use this example to help explain how mindful cultivation of inner landscapes of beauty and hope can be an essential and potentially lifesaving tool during times of prolonged stress and crisis.

Tw/Cw: Child abuse, trauma, PTSD, stress, chronic illness, suicidal ideation, the pandemic, horror movie senarios used briefly in jest.

Hierarchy of Needs referenced in episode
https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-6660971 Wed, 02 Dec 2020 16:00:00 -0500 1386 me too, trauma, ptsd, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor, pandemic, covid, hope, imagination, beauty, inner world, inner life, psychology, child abuse, inspiration 2 16 full true Lucid Dreams and Navigating Nightmares Lucid Dreams and Navigating Nightmares Kim and I discuss some of our experiences with lucid dreaming and share some tips that might help you. I share my struggle with nightmares in the past and a revelation in therapy that gave me insight into a reoccurring theme.

Tw/Cw: PTSD, trauma, substances, nightmares, death, decay, brief mention of psych ward

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]]> Kim and I discuss some of our experiences with lucid dreaming and share some tips that might help you. I share my struggle with nightmares in the past and a revelation in therapy that gave me insight into a reoccurring theme.

Tw/Cw: PTSD, trauma, substances, nightmares, death, decay, brief mention of psych ward

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Kim Buzzsprout-6490762 Wed, 25 Nov 2020 06:00:00 -0500 1189 finding ok, metoo, me too, trauma, ptsd, healing, recovery, survivor, nightmares, dreams, lucid dreaming, waking life, witch hunt 2 15 full true Women We Love - Movies with Hecate and Kim Women We Love - Movies with Hecate and Kim Kim is an Audio Engineer, a talented musician, a pansexual trans woman, and the Queen of Memes. She loves black clothing, intense movies, video games, the NBA, and making her friends laugh. She loves her coffee sweet and her candy sour. Join us while we talk about some of the movies we love and the strong women in them that fascinate and inspire us.

Tw/Cw: Substances, PTSD, trauma, abuse, domestic violence, and potential movie spoilers.

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]]> Kim is an Audio Engineer, a talented musician, a pansexual trans woman, and the Queen of Memes. She loves black clothing, intense movies, video games, the NBA, and making her friends laugh. She loves her coffee sweet and her candy sour. Join us while we talk about some of the movies we love and the strong women in them that fascinate and inspire us.

Tw/Cw: Substances, PTSD, trauma, abuse, domestic violence, and potential movie spoilers.

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Kim Buzzsprout-6442024 Wed, 18 Nov 2020 13:00:00 -0500 5195 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, abuse, healing, survivor, movies, strong women, star trek, sarah conner, wendy torrance, Addams Family, feminism, transgender, twister, jurassic park, alien, the shining, terminator, what lies beneath, panic room 2 14 full true "Toxic" "Toxic" In this episode I talk about why it's so important to find a way to release tension after prolonged periods of stress, and then I discuss our growing use of the word"toxic" to describe people and relationships and how it might be clouding our ability to identify and call out abuse.

Tw/Cw: PTSD, abuse, and domestic violence.

Article
https://cerebral-sexuality.com/2018/07/31/toxic-relationships-vs-abusive-relationships/

Why Does He Do That - Book
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/224552.Why_Does_He_Do_That_

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]]> In this episode I talk about why it's so important to find a way to release tension after prolonged periods of stress, and then I discuss our growing use of the word"toxic" to describe people and relationships and how it might be clouding our ability to identify and call out abuse.

Tw/Cw: PTSD, abuse, and domestic violence.

Article
https://cerebral-sexuality.com/2018/07/31/toxic-relationships-vs-abusive-relationships/

Why Does He Do That - Book
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/224552.Why_Does_He_Do_That_

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-6328015 Wed, 11 Nov 2020 13:00:00 -0500 995 finding ok, metoo, abuse, abusive relationships, trauma, ptsd, healing, recovery, survivor, self care, toxic, toxic people, toxic relationships, 2 13 full true Crossroads Self-Care Crossroads Self-Care This is a support and self-care episode for the 2020 Election. For survivors this is a time of extreme anxiety, triggers, and symptom flare-ups. It is ok to not be ok! That said, lets talk self-care. At the end I share one of my favorite Buddhist mantras and lead you in some deep, healing breaths.

Medicine Buddha Traditional
https://www.google.com/search?q=tibetan+thangka+medicine+buddha&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjj-Yv4sersAhXLT98KHbHXBT0Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=tibetan+thangka+medicine+buddha&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzIGCAAQCBAeOgQIIxAnOggIABCxAxCDAToFCAAQsQM6AggAOgQIABBDOgcIABCxAxBDOgQIABAYUOfUBFjkhgVgyogFaABwAHgAgAFLiAGwD5IBAjMxmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWfAAQE&sclient=img&ei=02ejX6PEHsuf_Qaxr5foAw&bih=937&biw=1920&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS922US922&safe=off&hl=en#imgrc=lMRvX7Y8aDwkmM

Medicine Buddha - Contemporary
https://www.google.com/search?q=medicine+buddha&safe=off&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS922US922&sxsrf=ALeKk034mX61XuIhLlRxA0gJA1_TBbzVpA:1604544169594&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwif5ITqsOrsAhUJmuAKHY-lDcYQ_AUoAXoECBwQAw&biw=1920&bih=937#imgrc=wgSs7zBL9RmquM

Suicide Prevention Hotline
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Sexual Assault Hotline
https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline

Resource and Support
https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Publications-Reports/Guides/Navigating-a-Mental-Health-Crisis

Substance Abuse 
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/alcohol-drug-hotline

Support the show

]]> This is a support and self-care episode for the 2020 Election. For survivors this is a time of extreme anxiety, triggers, and symptom flare-ups. It is ok to not be ok! That said, lets talk self-care. At the end I share one of my favorite Buddhist mantras and lead you in some deep, healing breaths.

Medicine Buddha Traditional
https://www.google.com/search?q=tibetan+thangka+medicine+buddha&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjj-Yv4sersAhXLT98KHbHXBT0Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=tibetan+thangka+medicine+buddha&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzIGCAAQCBAeOgQIIxAnOggIABCxAxCDAToFCAAQsQM6AggAOgQIABBDOgcIABCxAxBDOgQIABAYUOfUBFjkhgVgyogFaABwAHgAgAFLiAGwD5IBAjMxmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWfAAQE&sclient=img&ei=02ejX6PEHsuf_Qaxr5foAw&bih=937&biw=1920&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS922US922&safe=off&hl=en#imgrc=lMRvX7Y8aDwkmM

Medicine Buddha - Contemporary
https://www.google.com/search?q=medicine+buddha&safe=off&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS922US922&sxsrf=ALeKk034mX61XuIhLlRxA0gJA1_TBbzVpA:1604544169594&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwif5ITqsOrsAhUJmuAKHY-lDcYQ_AUoAXoECBwQAw&biw=1920&bih=937#imgrc=wgSs7zBL9RmquM

Suicide Prevention Hotline
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Sexual Assault Hotline
https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline

Resource and Support
https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Publications-Reports/Guides/Navigating-a-Mental-Health-Crisis

Substance Abuse 
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/alcohol-drug-hotline

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-6228823 Wed, 04 Nov 2020 21:00:00 -0500 820 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, healing, recovery, survivor, buddhism, 2020, election, self care, medicine buddha, mantra, meditation 2 12 full true Shadow Work - a Samhain Episode Shadow Work - a Samhain Episode As the days grow shorter and the shadows lengthen many of us turn inward and sometimes struggle with some of the things we find in our own inner worlds. Eliot joins me in this special Samhain/Halloween episode to discuss shadow work and the dark parts of ourselves, meeting the challenges of this time of year, and to just have fun and shoot the shit about horror movies. Blessed Samhain, Happy Halloween, and Happy Dias de Los Muertos!

Tw/Cw: Seasonal depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicide, death, spirituality, substances, the pandemic, pregnancy, trauma, and the occult.

Article on Feed Your Demons practice
https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-practice-feeding-your-demons/

Feed Your Demons video and practice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEbJ_maF_fo

Eliot's work - Real Human Better
https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Community-Service/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897/

Support
https://www.nami.org/Support-Education

Support for Substance Abuse
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/alcohol-drug-hotline

Support the show

]]> As the days grow shorter and the shadows lengthen many of us turn inward and sometimes struggle with some of the things we find in our own inner worlds. Eliot joins me in this special Samhain/Halloween episode to discuss shadow work and the dark parts of ourselves, meeting the challenges of this time of year, and to just have fun and shoot the shit about horror movies. Blessed Samhain, Happy Halloween, and Happy Dias de Los Muertos!

Tw/Cw: Seasonal depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicide, death, spirituality, substances, the pandemic, pregnancy, trauma, and the occult.

Article on Feed Your Demons practice
https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-practice-feeding-your-demons/

Feed Your Demons video and practice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEbJ_maF_fo

Eliot's work - Real Human Better
https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Community-Service/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897/

Support
https://www.nami.org/Support-Education

Support for Substance Abuse
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/alcohol-drug-hotline

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Eliot Buzzsprout-6115222 Wed, 28 Oct 2020 20:00:00 -0400 7410 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, healing, recovery, survivor, seasonal depression, samhain, halloween, horror movies, shadow work, shadow self, feeding your demons, buddhism, witchcraft, witch, occult 2 11 full true Stop Sh*tting On Yourself You Beautiful B*tch Stop Sh*tting On Yourself You Beautiful B*tch This episode takes a look at the negativity we can direct at ourselves, the false beliefs about ourselves that our abusers can leave behind, and how important it is to take notice and root those beliefs out. Y'all better stop talking trash about yourselves. I mean it!

New Webpage!
https://www.podpage.com/finding-ok/

Support the show

]]> This episode takes a look at the negativity we can direct at ourselves, the false beliefs about ourselves that our abusers can leave behind, and how important it is to take notice and root those beliefs out. Y'all better stop talking trash about yourselves. I mean it!

New Webpage!
https://www.podpage.com/finding-ok/

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-5991718 Wed, 21 Oct 2020 02:00:00 -0400 796 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, self worth, self care, self esteem, abuse, healing, recovery, survivor 2 10 full true Jury Duty Jury Duty My sister Chie and I discuss most survivor's worst case senario heading into jury duty: being interviewed for a sexual assault case. We share our own experiences with this process and share advice for preparing for and handling this should it happen to you.

Tw/Cw: sexual assault, trauma, PTSD, Anxiety, abuse, the court system, mention of medical marijuana, mention of Eating Disorders, CPS, and stalking.

Diamonds by Climbing PoeTree - heads up, this song might be triggering and make you cry. It's probably the most powerful survivor song I've ever heard.
https://youtu.be/iG0PnL_8gEE

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]]> My sister Chie and I discuss most survivor's worst case senario heading into jury duty: being interviewed for a sexual assault case. We share our own experiences with this process and share advice for preparing for and handling this should it happen to you.

Tw/Cw: sexual assault, trauma, PTSD, Anxiety, abuse, the court system, mention of medical marijuana, mention of Eating Disorders, CPS, and stalking.

Diamonds by Climbing PoeTree - heads up, this song might be triggering and make you cry. It's probably the most powerful survivor song I've ever heard.
https://youtu.be/iG0PnL_8gEE

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Chie Buzzsprout-5881066 Wed, 14 Oct 2020 11:00:00 -0400 5535 finding ok, metoo, trauma, ptsd, sexual assault, rape, jury duty, self care, abuse, healing, recovery, justice system, survivor 2 9 full true The Ugliest Word with Annie Margis The Ugliest Word with Annie Margis Annie Margis talks about her new book, The Ugliest Word. Annie is a survivor of childhood incest and her work is helping to break the silence and challenge the taboo. Annie and I talk about her passions and pursuits, how writing can help you heal, and the importance of connecting with other survivors.

Annie's website. Please check out the Fact Sheet! It's an amazing resource!
https://www.theugliestword.com/

An amazing E-Zine for survivors. This issue has a wonderful article about Annie where you can learn more about her life and her work.
https://www.empoweredvoicetravelingexhibit.com/voices-heard-issue-two/

Support the show

]]> Annie Margis talks about her new book, The Ugliest Word. Annie is a survivor of childhood incest and her work is helping to break the silence and challenge the taboo. Annie and I talk about her passions and pursuits, how writing can help you heal, and the importance of connecting with other survivors.

Annie's website. Please check out the Fact Sheet! It's an amazing resource!
https://www.theugliestword.com/

An amazing E-Zine for survivors. This issue has a wonderful article about Annie where you can learn more about her life and her work.
https://www.empoweredvoicetravelingexhibit.com/voices-heard-issue-two/

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Annie Margis Buzzsprout-5759983 Wed, 07 Oct 2020 11:00:00 -0400 3460 Finding OK, The Ugliest Word, ptsd, feminism, #metoo, healing, trauma, sexual assault, rape, abuse, incest, child abuse, pedophilia 2 8 full true Returning to Your Place of Trauma Returning to Your Place of Trauma How can you tell if returning to your place of trauma will be beneficial? I discuss my own experiences with returning to my place, and share a list of actions you can take to make your return a healing and helpful one.

Tw/Cw: Mention of sexual assault, abusive relationships, trauma, PTSD, dissociation, and panic attacks. 

Support the show

]]> How can you tell if returning to your place of trauma will be beneficial? I discuss my own experiences with returning to my place, and share a list of actions you can take to make your return a healing and helpful one.

Tw/Cw: Mention of sexual assault, abusive relationships, trauma, PTSD, dissociation, and panic attacks. 

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-5669395 Wed, 30 Sep 2020 06:00:00 -0400 1339 Finding OK, survivor, ptsd, feminism, metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, self care, post-trauma, catharsis, sexual assault, abuse, returning to your place of trauma, post traumatic growth 2 7 full true Abortion in a Covertly Abusive Relationship - Survivor Story Abortion in a Covertly Abusive Relationship - Survivor Story DeSha speaks very openly about her experiences with abortion. Now the mother of a wonderful child DeSha opens up about the difficult decisions she made on her path to parenthood while in a covertly abusive relationship and struggling with health issues. 

TW/CW: Abortion, descriptions of procedures, abusive relationships, trauma, sex, addiction, and substances.

Support the show

]]> DeSha speaks very openly about her experiences with abortion. Now the mother of a wonderful child DeSha opens up about the difficult decisions she made on her path to parenthood while in a covertly abusive relationship and struggling with health issues. 

TW/CW: Abortion, descriptions of procedures, abusive relationships, trauma, sex, addiction, and substances.

Support the show

]]> DeSha Buzzsprout-5501182 Wed, 23 Sep 2020 06:00:00 -0400 2987 2 6 full true Covert Abuse - Survivor Story Covert Abuse - Survivor Story DeSha shares more of her personal story in this episode. She talks about her relationship with a covert abuser, shares red flags, and reflects on the past with compassion and wisdom from a place of healing and growth. 

TW/CW: Developmental trauma, PTSD, abuse, abusive relationship, depression, chronic illness, suicide, addiction, substances, childbirth, pregnancy, abortion, Postpartum Depression, weight loss.

Support the show

]]> DeSha shares more of her personal story in this episode. She talks about her relationship with a covert abuser, shares red flags, and reflects on the past with compassion and wisdom from a place of healing and growth. 

TW/CW: Developmental trauma, PTSD, abuse, abusive relationship, depression, chronic illness, suicide, addiction, substances, childbirth, pregnancy, abortion, Postpartum Depression, weight loss.

Support the show

]]> DeSha Buzzsprout-5389702 Wed, 16 Sep 2020 06:00:00 -0400 5826 2 5 full true EMDR & Somatic Symptoms of PTSD EMDR & Somatic Symptoms of PTSD DeSha shares how EMDR therapy has changed her life, what sessions are like, and offers advice for anyone interested in trying it for themselves. We also talk about some seldom discussed somatic symptoms of PTSD and trauma that can leave people doubting themselves and feeling alone. DeSha is an editorial & lifestyle photographer, and a loving partner and mother.

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]]> DeSha shares how EMDR therapy has changed her life, what sessions are like, and offers advice for anyone interested in trying it for themselves. We also talk about some seldom discussed somatic symptoms of PTSD and trauma that can leave people doubting themselves and feeling alone. DeSha is an editorial & lifestyle photographer, and a loving partner and mother.

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]]> DeSha Buzzsprout-5320306 Wed, 09 Sep 2020 06:00:00 -0400 3657 2 4 full true ASMR Moonlit Forest ASMR Moonlit Forest In this special episode you can adjust your volume, lay down, close your eyes, and join me for a guided healing journey through a beautiful moonlit forest. A circle of ancient trees is waiting to bear witness as the moon graces you with a healing gift of light. Get those tingles!

Support the show

]]> In this special episode you can adjust your volume, lay down, close your eyes, and join me for a guided healing journey through a beautiful moonlit forest. A circle of ancient trees is waiting to bear witness as the moon graces you with a healing gift of light. Get those tingles!

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-5214163 Wed, 02 Sep 2020 06:00:00 -0400 1553 Finding OK, survivor, ptsd, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, self care, post-trauma, asmr, meditation, tingles, relaxation, spiritual, magic, trees, forest, moon, witch, sacred, energy, light, therapy 2 3 full false Catharsis Catharsis Dauntless is a nonbinary/trans photographer, parent of two, singer, gamer, runner, survivor of 47 brain surgeries, and all around bamf. Join us as we talk and laugh about some incredibly intense photography work we did together in art college called "Voice of the Survivors". 

TW/CW: Sexual assault, rape, stalking, molestation, abuse, abuse from an authority figure, coersion, substances, and reproductive rights.

Support the show

]]> Dauntless is a nonbinary/trans photographer, parent of two, singer, gamer, runner, survivor of 47 brain surgeries, and all around bamf. Join us as we talk and laugh about some incredibly intense photography work we did together in art college called "Voice of the Survivors". 

TW/CW: Sexual assault, rape, stalking, molestation, abuse, abuse from an authority figure, coersion, substances, and reproductive rights.

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Dauntless Buzzsprout-4961306 Wed, 26 Aug 2020 08:00:00 -0400 6980 Finding OK, survivor, ptsd, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, self care, post-trauma, catharsis, photography, art, hydrocephalus, brain surgeries, sexual assault, rape, abuse 2 2 full true Healing Affirmations ~ Season 2 Healing Affirmations ~ Season 2 Welcome to Season 2 ! In this episode I revisit the Healing Affirmations that started the podcast in Season 1 and I introduce some new ones. I'm so grateful for all of you!

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]]> Welcome to Season 2 ! In this episode I revisit the Healing Affirmations that started the podcast in Season 1 and I introduce some new ones. I'm so grateful for all of you!

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-4960667 Wed, 12 Aug 2020 08:00:00 -0400 1104 Finding OK, survivor, ptsd, feminism, #metoo, me too, recovery, healing, trauma, self care, post trauma,, coping skills, affirmations, meditation, self worth, self love, sexual assault, abuse, self improvement 2 1 full true What Does "Finding OK" Mean? + Grounding and Centering Exercise What Does "Finding OK" Mean? + Grounding and Centering Exercise I talk a bit about what's behind the name of the podcast, and then walk you through a simple grounding and centering exercise that you can add to your self-care tool kit.

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]]> I talk a bit about what's behind the name of the podcast, and then walk you through a simple grounding and centering exercise that you can add to your self-care tool kit.

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-4746011 Wed, 29 Jul 2020 08:00:00 -0400 1123 Finding OK, sexual assault, survivor, ptsd, abuse, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, post trauma, meditation, grounding, centering, disassociation, panic attack, self-care, 1 16 full true Eliot - Real Human Better Eliot - Real Human Better I had an amazing talk with Eliot, the creator of the Social Permaculture course, "Real Human Better". I learned more about what she's working on and what it has to offer people post-trauma. She also shares some of the personal work she's been doing, and explains the importance of approaching it from a place of curiosity instead of judgement and shame.

TW/CW: Sexual assault, rape, discussions of physical altercations, substance use, violence, critique of religious institutions, systems, colonialism, and geocide. Contains one brief, but graphic description of sexual assault with a secondary TW and assistance skipping ahead if necessary.

Real Human Better
https://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897

Finding OK - private Facebook group for survivors
https://www.facebook.com/groups/281870296474077

Lead to Life
https://www.leadtolife.org/

Black Lives Matter
https://blacklivesmatter.com/

Hugelkultur
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%BCgelkultur

Online Safety for BLM Supporters
https://www.vpnmentor.com/blog/support-black-lives-matter-online/


Support the show

]]> I had an amazing talk with Eliot, the creator of the Social Permaculture course, "Real Human Better". I learned more about what she's working on and what it has to offer people post-trauma. She also shares some of the personal work she's been doing, and explains the importance of approaching it from a place of curiosity instead of judgement and shame.

TW/CW: Sexual assault, rape, discussions of physical altercations, substance use, violence, critique of religious institutions, systems, colonialism, and geocide. Contains one brief, but graphic description of sexual assault with a secondary TW and assistance skipping ahead if necessary.

Real Human Better
https://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897

Finding OK - private Facebook group for survivors
https://www.facebook.com/groups/281870296474077

Lead to Life
https://www.leadtolife.org/

Black Lives Matter
https://blacklivesmatter.com/

Hugelkultur
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%BCgelkultur

Online Safety for BLM Supporters
https://www.vpnmentor.com/blog/support-black-lives-matter-online/


Support the show

]]> Hecate/Eliot Buzzsprout-4575338 Wed, 15 Jul 2020 08:00:00 -0400 8301 Finding OK, sexual assault, survivor, ptsd, abuse, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, Real Human Better, Eliot Snaith, social permaculture, permaculture 1 15 full true Empowerment Through Activism Empowerment Through Activism I talk about some of the ways activism can help shift the lens of our trauma and help us heal and feel more empowered. I share my experiences attending Take Back the Night marches, the way they helped transform the way I thought of anger, and the important way they helped me feel connection with other survivors.

Tw/Cw: Sexual assault, use of the word rape, PTSD, and brief mention of stalking, molestation, and abuse.

Take Back the Night Foundation
https://takebackthenight.org/

http://www.emmasulkowicz.com/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_Sulkowicz

Real Human Better
https://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897

Support the show

]]> I talk about some of the ways activism can help shift the lens of our trauma and help us heal and feel more empowered. I share my experiences attending Take Back the Night marches, the way they helped transform the way I thought of anger, and the important way they helped me feel connection with other survivors.

Tw/Cw: Sexual assault, use of the word rape, PTSD, and brief mention of stalking, molestation, and abuse.

Take Back the Night Foundation
https://takebackthenight.org/

http://www.emmasulkowicz.com/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_Sulkowicz

Real Human Better
https://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-4346129 Sun, 28 Jun 2020 08:00:00 -0400 1722 Finding OK, sexual assault, survivor, ptsd, abuse, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, protests, activism, Take Back the Night, Emma Sulkowicz, Real Human Better, Social Permaculture 1 14 full true Lily Sage - Gratitude Practice Lily Sage - Gratitude Practice This is the beautiful daily gratitude practice that Lily Sage so generously shared with us during her Quarantine Support Episode. I wanted to make it more easily available for those who want to listen to it again for inspiration and comfort. Thank you again Lily for sharing something so personal and powerful.

Land Acknowledgement: Lily is speaking to you from Cochiti Pueblo, where the language of Keres is spoken.

Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Day Address
https://americanindian.si.edu/environment/pdf/01_02_thanksgiving_address.pdf

https://danceforallpeople.com/haudenosaunee-thanksgiving-address/

Lily would like to add that the prayer at the end parallels the lineages recited in traditional Jewish prayer. Here is more on the Mourner's Kaddish.
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/text-of-the-mourners-kaddish/?fbclid=IwAR3lLuyZZv4BGz0AyTbSWbLkp7JGT4w-gWWnt6g3VPaQTDNjGjr-erEFe0s


Support the show

]]> This is the beautiful daily gratitude practice that Lily Sage so generously shared with us during her Quarantine Support Episode. I wanted to make it more easily available for those who want to listen to it again for inspiration and comfort. Thank you again Lily for sharing something so personal and powerful.

Land Acknowledgement: Lily is speaking to you from Cochiti Pueblo, where the language of Keres is spoken.

Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Day Address
https://americanindian.si.edu/environment/pdf/01_02_thanksgiving_address.pdf

https://danceforallpeople.com/haudenosaunee-thanksgiving-address/

Lily would like to add that the prayer at the end parallels the lineages recited in traditional Jewish prayer. Here is more on the Mourner's Kaddish.
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/text-of-the-mourners-kaddish/?fbclid=IwAR3lLuyZZv4BGz0AyTbSWbLkp7JGT4w-gWWnt6g3VPaQTDNjGjr-erEFe0s


Support the show

]]> Hecate/Lily Sage Buzzsprout-4295735 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 21:00:00 -0400 262 Finding OK, survivor, ptsd, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, self care, comfort, gratitude, spiritual, meditation, prayer, Hebrew prayer 1 bonus false Trauma Anniversaries Trauma Anniversaries This episodes explores Trauma Anniversaries; what they are, how they can affect us, and some ways to get through them. 

TW/CW: Brief mentions of the following: sexual assault, domestic violence, depression, anxiety, suicide, and suicidal thoughts. These are not dwelled on, but mentioned as a framework for discussion of coping with them.

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]]> This episodes explores Trauma Anniversaries; what they are, how they can affect us, and some ways to get through them. 

TW/CW: Brief mentions of the following: sexual assault, domestic violence, depression, anxiety, suicide, and suicidal thoughts. These are not dwelled on, but mentioned as a framework for discussion of coping with them.

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-4185056 Mon, 15 Jun 2020 14:00:00 -0400 974 Finding OK, survivor, ptsd, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, self care, post-trauma, trauma anniversaries, coping skills, depression, anxiety 1 13 full true "I Can't Breathe" "I Can't Breathe" Black Lives Matter.
This episode is 8 minutes and 46 seconds of silence. That is the length of time the police officer had his knee on the back of George Floyd's neck. If you're white, I encourage you to listen to this episode and contemplate how long 8:46 actually is.
This podcast supports the Black Lives Matter protesters across America and the world. End white supremacy. Defund the police.
Below are some resources for funding the movement and for anti-racism self-education. Please donate if you can.

Black Lives Matter
https://blacklivesmatter.com/

Split a Donation Between 70+ Community Bail Funds, Mutual Aid Funds, and Racial Justice Organizers
https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd?abt=facebook&fbclid=IwAR3KU9zN7V3vrLUEX5kWeekI7w7YorKn0pemXtVLA6E3Nv3n58A5WXdKG80

74 Bail Funds You can Support Right Now.
https://www.autostraddle.com/43-bail-funds-you-can-absolutely-support-right-now/?
fbclid=IwAR0_xJoaUuB3X0LpI31tbace389QN7TNwq56vbt_cVZjOWyGPUcYLqMpSjw

Homeless Black Trans Women Fund
https://www.gofundme.com/f/homeless-black-trans-women-fund?fbclid=IwAR0dFmmEIzkYf7wEYloNP6-8Fx9fjnoQ7WxdyJ7kt60UkjLueV6b1VH52E8

List of Resources Supporting the Movement. Petitions to sign. Self-education resources.
https://www.itsnicethat.com/news/resources-supporting-black-lives-matter-movement-creative-industry-010620?fbclid=IwAR2UZ5O2_K8PU-AOgiI7SQtv2gH84_EnClYbTloHcyKutj7fwX3Sa5-nPCA

Anti-racism resources
https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1BRlF2_zhNe86SGgHa6-VlBO-QgirITwCTugSfKie5Fs/mobilebasic?fbclid=IwAR0De0nD6MSfFOmVjuaefXFMYnOVLcfNk_uEneA32zCyrCyuqreape2t4Vc


Support the show

]]> Black Lives Matter.
This episode is 8 minutes and 46 seconds of silence. That is the length of time the police officer had his knee on the back of George Floyd's neck. If you're white, I encourage you to listen to this episode and contemplate how long 8:46 actually is.
This podcast supports the Black Lives Matter protesters across America and the world. End white supremacy. Defund the police.
Below are some resources for funding the movement and for anti-racism self-education. Please donate if you can.

Black Lives Matter
https://blacklivesmatter.com/

Split a Donation Between 70+ Community Bail Funds, Mutual Aid Funds, and Racial Justice Organizers
https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd?abt=facebook&fbclid=IwAR3KU9zN7V3vrLUEX5kWeekI7w7YorKn0pemXtVLA6E3Nv3n58A5WXdKG80

74 Bail Funds You can Support Right Now.
https://www.autostraddle.com/43-bail-funds-you-can-absolutely-support-right-now/?
fbclid=IwAR0_xJoaUuB3X0LpI31tbace389QN7TNwq56vbt_cVZjOWyGPUcYLqMpSjw

Homeless Black Trans Women Fund
https://www.gofundme.com/f/homeless-black-trans-women-fund?fbclid=IwAR0dFmmEIzkYf7wEYloNP6-8Fx9fjnoQ7WxdyJ7kt60UkjLueV6b1VH52E8

List of Resources Supporting the Movement. Petitions to sign. Self-education resources.
https://www.itsnicethat.com/news/resources-supporting-black-lives-matter-movement-creative-industry-010620?fbclid=IwAR2UZ5O2_K8PU-AOgiI7SQtv2gH84_EnClYbTloHcyKutj7fwX3Sa5-nPCA

Anti-racism resources
https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1BRlF2_zhNe86SGgHa6-VlBO-QgirITwCTugSfKie5Fs/mobilebasic?fbclid=IwAR0De0nD6MSfFOmVjuaefXFMYnOVLcfNk_uEneA32zCyrCyuqreape2t4Vc


Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-4096712 Mon, 08 Jun 2020 22:00:00 -0400 527 #blacklivesmatter, black lives matter, #defundthepolice, anti racism resources 1 12 full false Cailin - Quarantine Support Cailin - Quarantine Support Join me as I touch base with Cailin during quarantine. Cailin is a yoga enthusiast, dog lover, and a non-binary essential worker. They are a psychiatric technician at a residential drug and alcohol treatment center for women. Cailin shares what this time has been like for them and their clients, a bit about their past experiences with addiction and recovery, and their decision to return to therapy. 

TW/CW: Addiction, rehab, brief mention of psych wards, alcoholism, DUI, sexual assault, brief list of some systemic American traumas including 9/11, Covid-19, and quarantine. This episode was recorded on 5/27/20, the protests are addressed briefly mid-episode, and more fully at the end.

Support the show

]]> Join me as I touch base with Cailin during quarantine. Cailin is a yoga enthusiast, dog lover, and a non-binary essential worker. They are a psychiatric technician at a residential drug and alcohol treatment center for women. Cailin shares what this time has been like for them and their clients, a bit about their past experiences with addiction and recovery, and their decision to return to therapy. 

TW/CW: Addiction, rehab, brief mention of psych wards, alcoholism, DUI, sexual assault, brief list of some systemic American traumas including 9/11, Covid-19, and quarantine. This episode was recorded on 5/27/20, the protests are addressed briefly mid-episode, and more fully at the end.

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Cailin Buzzsprout-4004981 Mon, 01 Jun 2020 17:00:00 -0400 3364 Finding OK, survivor, ptsd, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, covid-19, quarantine, 2020, self care, addiction, alcoholism, rehab, black lives matter, therapy, essential worker 1 11 full true Chie - Quarantine Support Chie - Quarantine Support Join me as I check in with my sister Chie to see how she's doing during quarantine. We talk about some of the ways this situation can be challenging for those who struggle with Eating Disorders, landlord nonsense and moving in the middle of this, grounding exercises to help with dissociative feelings and episodes, and how we're taking care of ourselves at the moment.

TW/CW: Eating Disorders, weight gain, body image, PTSD, sexual assault, dissociative episodes, and chronic illness.

Here are some articles on Quarantine and Eating Disorders:
https://www.emilyprogram.com/blog/advice-for-those-struggling-with-an-eating-disorder-during-covid-19/

https://centerfordiscovery.com/blog/coronavirus-quarantine-and-eating-disorders/

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/5-reminders-for-eating-disorder-survivors-during-the-covid-19-outbreak#4.-Your-body-knows-what-to-do-in-a-crisis

Chie's picks:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/eating-disorder-recovery-coronavirus-advice_l_5e743b0ec5b6f5b7c541755d?fbclid=IwAR0Ks3cC34iwZ4MEyPOogFnUEHHfCP3lrs4p1oaYLXf28d3lDrUAuv2HWko

https://www.verywellmind.com/recovering-from-an-eating-disorder-when-you-live-in-a-larger-body-4774943

Support the show

]]> Join me as I check in with my sister Chie to see how she's doing during quarantine. We talk about some of the ways this situation can be challenging for those who struggle with Eating Disorders, landlord nonsense and moving in the middle of this, grounding exercises to help with dissociative feelings and episodes, and how we're taking care of ourselves at the moment.

TW/CW: Eating Disorders, weight gain, body image, PTSD, sexual assault, dissociative episodes, and chronic illness.

Here are some articles on Quarantine and Eating Disorders:
https://www.emilyprogram.com/blog/advice-for-those-struggling-with-an-eating-disorder-during-covid-19/

https://centerfordiscovery.com/blog/coronavirus-quarantine-and-eating-disorders/

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/5-reminders-for-eating-disorder-survivors-during-the-covid-19-outbreak#4.-Your-body-knows-what-to-do-in-a-crisis

Chie's picks:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/eating-disorder-recovery-coronavirus-advice_l_5e743b0ec5b6f5b7c541755d?fbclid=IwAR0Ks3cC34iwZ4MEyPOogFnUEHHfCP3lrs4p1oaYLXf28d3lDrUAuv2HWko

https://www.verywellmind.com/recovering-from-an-eating-disorder-when-you-live-in-a-larger-body-4774943

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Chie Buzzsprout-3778526 Fri, 15 May 2020 23:00:00 -0400 3189 Finding OK, survivor, ptsd, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, covid-19, quarantine, 2020, self care, eating disorders, dissociative episodes, landlords 1 10 full true Lila - Quarantine Support Lila - Quarantine Support Join me as I check in with Lila during quarantine. Lila is an artist, hula hoop and lyra performer, currently unemployed waitress, happily married lesbian, and proud cat mom. Join us for a talk about medication misadventures, our feelings around productivity, and some good laughs. Lila talks about the challenges of quarantine, as well as the beautiful moments that she's creating for herself and her wife amid the chaos.

Meditation apps list:
Insight Timer - Hecate's pick
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spotlightsix.zentimerlite2&hl=en

Lila's Picks:
Meditation Time
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=de.iab.meditationtimer&hl=en

Mindfulness
https://apps.apple.com/app/id1467213450?fbclid=IwAR353pv_X914JPK7JqpbYXfPDdVrJThw1VN3GwawT6X1sLY5-50AFXJjAN4

Pocket Meditation Timer
https://apps.apple.com/app/id515571863?fbclid=IwAR3G_EFgchh0cG0ZuUdjmn01BlwZyNJ8mP_eIzwtXz4G-FDCdvvJHg4ESvI

Support the show

]]> Join me as I check in with Lila during quarantine. Lila is an artist, hula hoop and lyra performer, currently unemployed waitress, happily married lesbian, and proud cat mom. Join us for a talk about medication misadventures, our feelings around productivity, and some good laughs. Lila talks about the challenges of quarantine, as well as the beautiful moments that she's creating for herself and her wife amid the chaos.

Meditation apps list:
Insight Timer - Hecate's pick
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spotlightsix.zentimerlite2&hl=en

Lila's Picks:
Meditation Time
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=de.iab.meditationtimer&hl=en

Mindfulness
https://apps.apple.com/app/id1467213450?fbclid=IwAR353pv_X914JPK7JqpbYXfPDdVrJThw1VN3GwawT6X1sLY5-50AFXJjAN4

Pocket Meditation Timer
https://apps.apple.com/app/id515571863?fbclid=IwAR3G_EFgchh0cG0ZuUdjmn01BlwZyNJ8mP_eIzwtXz4G-FDCdvvJHg4ESvI

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Lila Buzzsprout-3607099 Sun, 03 May 2020 21:00:00 -0400 4334 Finding OK, survivor, ptsd, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, covid-19, quarantine, 2020, self care, zoloft, prozac, welbutrin, productivity, agoraphobia, depression, anxiety 1 9 full true Lily Sage - Quarantine Support Lily Sage - Quarantine Support A quarantine support episode! Lily Sage and I check in with each other and discuss the unique challenges of quarantine to the soft fluttering of wind chimes in the background. Lily Sage is a Montessori school teacher focused on incorporating decolonization methods in the classroom, a wilderness guide and teacher, a Doula, Herbalist, Artist, Performer, and a sweetheart. Please join two old friends for a relaxed conversation about how we're staying sane in this very strange time.
Land Acknowledgement: Lily is speaking to you from Cochiti Pueblo, where the language of Keres is spoken.

TW/CW: Brief mention of filicide, medical marijuana and marijuana use, psychiatric medications, brief mention of Hurricane Katrina and infrastructure collapse, Covid-19, and Quarantine 2020.

Episode Notes:

Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Day Address
https://americanindian.si.edu/environment/pdf/01_02_thanksgiving_address.pdf

https://danceforallpeople.com/haudenosaunee-thanksgiving-address/

Lily would like to add that the prayer at the end parallels the lineages recited in traditional Jewish prayer. Here is more on the Mourner's Kaddish.
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/text-of-the-mourners-kaddish/?fbclid=IwAR3lLuyZZv4BGz0AyTbSWbLkp7JGT4w-gWWnt6g3VPaQTDNjGjr-erEFe0s

Lynn Margaulis is a biologist who also talks about parasitism as a form of symbiosis in her work, "Symbiotic Planet"

I also spaced in the episode and forgot to mention that I have actually experienced a loss of infrastructure in a disaster. I weathered a number of hurricanes, including Sandy where we were without power for two weeks. Other storms have left my family without electricity, water, or heat for weeks at a time - at least once in a freezing winter. My family also lived in CA for the '89 earthquake. I forgot in the moment because I have always considered us lucky in these situations and thought of it as an "interruption" rather than a collapse, and I didn't experience it as trauma. I don't compare any of the natural disasters I've been blessed to lived through to Hurricane Katrina.

Support the show

]]> A quarantine support episode! Lily Sage and I check in with each other and discuss the unique challenges of quarantine to the soft fluttering of wind chimes in the background. Lily Sage is a Montessori school teacher focused on incorporating decolonization methods in the classroom, a wilderness guide and teacher, a Doula, Herbalist, Artist, Performer, and a sweetheart. Please join two old friends for a relaxed conversation about how we're staying sane in this very strange time.
Land Acknowledgement: Lily is speaking to you from Cochiti Pueblo, where the language of Keres is spoken.

TW/CW: Brief mention of filicide, medical marijuana and marijuana use, psychiatric medications, brief mention of Hurricane Katrina and infrastructure collapse, Covid-19, and Quarantine 2020.

Episode Notes:

Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Day Address
https://americanindian.si.edu/environment/pdf/01_02_thanksgiving_address.pdf

https://danceforallpeople.com/haudenosaunee-thanksgiving-address/

Lily would like to add that the prayer at the end parallels the lineages recited in traditional Jewish prayer. Here is more on the Mourner's Kaddish.
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/text-of-the-mourners-kaddish/?fbclid=IwAR3lLuyZZv4BGz0AyTbSWbLkp7JGT4w-gWWnt6g3VPaQTDNjGjr-erEFe0s

Lynn Margaulis is a biologist who also talks about parasitism as a form of symbiosis in her work, "Symbiotic Planet"

I also spaced in the episode and forgot to mention that I have actually experienced a loss of infrastructure in a disaster. I weathered a number of hurricanes, including Sandy where we were without power for two weeks. Other storms have left my family without electricity, water, or heat for weeks at a time - at least once in a freezing winter. My family also lived in CA for the '89 earthquake. I forgot in the moment because I have always considered us lucky in these situations and thought of it as an "interruption" rather than a collapse, and I didn't experience it as trauma. I don't compare any of the natural disasters I've been blessed to lived through to Hurricane Katrina.

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Lily Sage Buzzsprout-3534700 Tue, 28 Apr 2020 00:00:00 -0400 6281 Finding OK, survivor, ptsd, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, covid-19, quarantine, 2020, self care, Baubo, Hecate, Goddess, gratitude, prayer, joan of arc, st. wilgefortis 1 8 full true Post Trauma Self - Defense Post Trauma Self - Defense I talk a bit about my experiences with self-defense training post-trauma. My sister Chie joins me partway through the episode to share her thoughts as well. 

TW/CW: Sexual assault, abuse, self-defense attack simulations and scenarios, and street harassment.

Support the show

]]> I talk a bit about my experiences with self-defense training post-trauma. My sister Chie joins me partway through the episode to share her thoughts as well. 

TW/CW: Sexual assault, abuse, self-defense attack simulations and scenarios, and street harassment.

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Chie Buzzsprout-3019702 Sun, 15 Mar 2020 22:00:00 -0400 6362 Finding OK, sexual assault, survivor, ptsd, abuse, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, trauma, self-defense, self-defense training 1 7 full true Memory and Trauma Memory and Trauma Chie and I talk about the flexibility of memory after trauma. We discuss what it's like dealing with repressed, altered, and recovered memories. Chie also shares a bit about her experiences with IFS and EMDR therapy.

TW/CW: Repressed, altered, and recovered memories, emotional developmental trauma, emotional and verbal child abuse, and abusive teachers.

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]]> Chie and I talk about the flexibility of memory after trauma. We discuss what it's like dealing with repressed, altered, and recovered memories. Chie also shares a bit about her experiences with IFS and EMDR therapy.

TW/CW: Repressed, altered, and recovered memories, emotional developmental trauma, emotional and verbal child abuse, and abusive teachers.

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Chie Buzzsprout-2813629 Sat, 22 Feb 2020 18:00:00 -0500 2291 Finding OK, sexual assault, survivor, ptsd, abuse, feminism, #metoo, recovery, healing, abusive teachers, memory, repressed memories, recovered memories, trauma, IFS therapy, EMDR therapy, neurology 1 6 full true Voyager - Bonus Voyager - Bonus This bonus track is an excerpt from a conversation with Chie. We ended up talking about Star Trek Voyager for 20 min...it happens...join two nerds as we shoot the shit and discuss our love of Voyager's strong women, and how survivor issues intersect with some key episodes of Voyager. Be warned of spoilers! 

TW/CW: Discussion of Star Trek episodes involving PTSD, flashbacks, repressed and recovered memories, and accusations of assault being questioned and doubted.

Support the show

]]> This bonus track is an excerpt from a conversation with Chie. We ended up talking about Star Trek Voyager for 20 min...it happens...join two nerds as we shoot the shit and discuss our love of Voyager's strong women, and how survivor issues intersect with some key episodes of Voyager. Be warned of spoilers! 

TW/CW: Discussion of Star Trek episodes involving PTSD, flashbacks, repressed and recovered memories, and accusations of assault being questioned and doubted.

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Chie Buzzsprout-2799706 Thu, 20 Feb 2020 18:00:00 -0500 1450 Finding OK, survivor, ptsd, feminism, #metoo, memory, nostalgia, 90s, Star Trek, Voyager, Janeway, Xena, Seven of Nine, bonus track, nerds, strong women 1 bonus true Chie - Part 2 Chie - Part 2 In part 2 of my interview with Chie we discuss eating disorders, the work she's doing in recovery, having healthy boundaries, having cis male partners, and her decision to leave the Shambhala Meditation Community following the reports of abuse there.

TW/CW: Eating disorders, abusive teachers, cults, and abuse within religious/spiritual organizations.

Support the show

]]> In part 2 of my interview with Chie we discuss eating disorders, the work she's doing in recovery, having healthy boundaries, having cis male partners, and her decision to leave the Shambhala Meditation Community following the reports of abuse there.

TW/CW: Eating disorders, abusive teachers, cults, and abuse within religious/spiritual organizations.

Support the show

]]> Hecate/Chie Buzzsprout-2287388 Sun, 15 Dec 2019 14:00:00 -0500 5952 Finding OK, sexual assault, survivor, ptsd, abuse, feminism, #metoo, meditation, Shambhala meditation international, shambhala center, shambhala, eating disorder, anorexia, recovery, healing, cis male partner, abusive teachers 1 5 full true Chie - Part 1 Chie - Part 1 My sister Chie and I talk about what was helpful and supportive after her assault. We discuss her decision to return to college after it happened, the effects of PTSD on her life, how it influenced her thesis work, and what helped her get through it. I share an incident with a PTSD trigger in a meditation workshop, and we discuss the importance of utilizing the Disability Department in school and communicating with professors. 

TW/CW: Sexual Assault, PTSD, abusive teachers, and a conversation about binary gender socialization (no dog whistles - trans women are women and trans men are men).

Support the show

]]> My sister Chie and I talk about what was helpful and supportive after her assault. We discuss her decision to return to college after it happened, the effects of PTSD on her life, how it influenced her thesis work, and what helped her get through it. I share an incident with a PTSD trigger in a meditation workshop, and we discuss the importance of utilizing the Disability Department in school and communicating with professors. 

TW/CW: Sexual Assault, PTSD, abusive teachers, and a conversation about binary gender socialization (no dog whistles - trans women are women and trans men are men).

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]]> Hecate/Chie Buzzsprout-2208956 Mon, 02 Dec 2019 16:00:00 -0500 7801 Finding OK, sexual assault, survivor, ptsd, abuse, feminism, #metoo, meditation, interview, strong women 1 4 full true Defeating Intrusive Thoughts Defeating Intrusive Thoughts A strategy for defeating negative, intrusive, and potentially triggering thought patterns. This includes personal experience with this practice, a brief explanation of Buddhist Wrathful Deities, and help brainstorming to get you started on finding something similar that works for you.

TW/CW: Descriptions of imagined graphic violence (throat cutting), and discussion of triggering thought patterns.

The article I quote in this episode:
https://buddhaweekly.com/tantric-wrathful-deities-the-psychology-and-extraordinary-power-of-enlightened-beings-in-their-fearsome-form/

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]]> A strategy for defeating negative, intrusive, and potentially triggering thought patterns. This includes personal experience with this practice, a brief explanation of Buddhist Wrathful Deities, and help brainstorming to get you started on finding something similar that works for you.

TW/CW: Descriptions of imagined graphic violence (throat cutting), and discussion of triggering thought patterns.

The article I quote in this episode:
https://buddhaweekly.com/tantric-wrathful-deities-the-psychology-and-extraordinary-power-of-enlightened-beings-in-their-fearsome-form/

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-1632448 Sat, 31 Aug 2019 19:00:00 -0400 1181 healing, sexual assault, rape, trauma, abuse, #metoo, recovery, feminism, Buddhism, ptsd, intrusive thoughts, wrathful deities 1 3 full true Olfactory Memory and PTSD Olfactory Memory and PTSD How your sense of smell is tied to memory and how this can affect PTSD symptoms.
TW/CW: A non explicit personal experience of a PTSD flashback. 

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]]> How your sense of smell is tied to memory and how this can affect PTSD symptoms.
TW/CW: A non explicit personal experience of a PTSD flashback. 

Support the show

]]> Hecate Buzzsprout-1534618 Sun, 11 Aug 2019 22:00:00 -0400 603 healing, sexual assault, olfactory, trauma, abuse, #metoo, recovery, feminism, intersectional, ptsd, memory, smell 1 2 full false