Beginning Of The End

Metaphorical Banana Stand: Arrested Development

Tue, 11 Apr 2023 00:00:00 -0400

We're back with a show that almost ruined Kelly's entire week: Arrested Development. This show has everything; freaks, losers, sociopaths, and TWO LUCILLES. Listen to who gets the worst character (Gob) on the quiz.

Have a show suggestion? Email us at botepod@gmail.com!

Trolley Problem: Castle

Tue, 06 Dec 2022 00:00:00 -0500

Apples apples apples. If you didn't watch Castle then you're going to have to listen to this episode to understand the whole "apples" bit. Kelly hasn't watched this show but legally she's watched this show. Phil understands Chipotle manners. Jennifer complains about her job and cackles loudly to remind you that you are ALIVE.
Have a show you want us to watch? Email us at botepod@gmail.com.

And They Were Siblings: This Is Us

Tue, 29 Nov 2022 00:00:00 -0500

TW for brief mention of suicide and diet talk.

Okay onto the fun stuff! This is our first full butt show. huge! like milo's dump truck! This show is for all the horny moms and horny Kelly's out there - time to get that sweet Peacock subscription.
Have a show suggestion? email us at botepod@gmail.com

Horse Anime: BoJack Horseman

Tue, 22 Nov 2022 00:00:00 -0500

Kelly has declared this our most boring episode yet. Did Allison Brie ever do a Notes App apology for her role in this show? Did I spell "Allison" correctly? Did you know she's married to a Franco? Lots to think about. Even if you think this episode is boring, you should still listen to it because I'd like to hit 1,000 downloads by the time this bad boy is a year old. You feel? Is this possible? WHO. KNOWS. Do you have a show suggestion? Send it our way at botepod@gmail.com!

The Episode Where Nothing Happens: Seinfeld

Tue, 15 Nov 2022 00:00:00 -0500

Hope you're ready for smooth brain hours - this episode is absolutely chock full of nothing! It may be either boring or genius (we may be the next Larry David?) It may the perfect length and thus allowed to be boring because you're just so grateful for a sub hour and thirty minute episode. It may get Jennifer canceled in the future.
Do you have a show suggestion? By god send it our way at botepod@gmail.com.

All The R's Are Guns: Sopranos

Tue, 01 Nov 2022 10:00:00 -0400

Well folks, it's official - Elon's check cleared and he owns Twitter. Will you be staying to see what he does with the place? Tweet at us and let us know! As per usual, we delve into a history lesson that we are not qualified to teach. Also, is "mob" or "mafia" the preferred term for Tony's line of work? Do you think Carmela was having sexual relations with the priest? Is the FBI anti-Italian-American? Email us at botepod@gmail.com and just tell us we're pretty. PLEASE.

Quizno's Is Not Real: Search Party

Tue, 25 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Sorry to spill the beans but you've never eaten a Quizno's sub because they literally do not even exist. However, if you think you or a loved one have experienced a Quizno's, please GOD let us know (bonus if the Quizno's in question "burned down." Email us at botepod@gmail.com. Oh, and yeah we talked about Search Party and Lowkey talked about it a lot?? Like we actually stayed on topic so feel free to send us money, too. ha ha kidding or like, maybe not??

HBO's Medieval Succession: Game of Thrones

Tue, 18 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0400

It doesn't matter which show came first: Game of Thrones is just old, European Succession. Kendall Roy is Bran, feel old yet? We talk about all the incest you could hope and dream for! Actuall dream for more? Then fight us in our email inbox at botepod@gmail.com.

Sex In A City: Sex And The City

Tue, 11 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0400

It's 2022 and Jeb Bush is president. And that's cannon! At least podcast cannon. Listen as we drag Carrie through the mud and actively despise Big. Do you think Phil is a Charlotte or Carrie? We have opinions!! Let us know who the heaven and hell you are at botepod@gmail.com

Potentially Worst Episode Yet: Scrubs

Tue, 04 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0400

That's right folks, we all must have our highs and lows. This is it: the floor. If you can't handle us at our Scrubs then you don't deserve us at our Literally Any Other Episode. We talk a lot about a relationship that doesn't exist anymore (RIP Florence and Zach). Jennifer has made the brave decision to continue watching this show, though she has yet to make it past season 1. In due time, baby! Have a show suggestion? Email us at botepod@gmail.com pleaseeeeeeeee

A Trip To The Movie Theater: Pretty Little Liars

Tue, 06 Sep 2022 08:00:00 -0400

Heads up, we talk a lot about puke in the beginning of this episode. It's a part of our story! This is the movie theater episode in that we talk about movie theaters but also this episode is the length of a feature length film. Who knew there was so much ground to cover with Pretty Little Liars. But there IS! And a lot of it involves men trying to hit on literal teenagers - yuck. Have a show suggestion? Email us at Botepod@gmail.com!

Jigsaw Probst: Survivor Season 37

Tue, 23 Aug 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Are you a David or Goliath or Rachel or Ross? Were you born to doctor parents or were you born with a Southern Accent? ANSWER HONESTLY OR JEFF PROBST WILL END YOU. If you want to go on Survivor, contact Jennifer and she will direct + edit your submission video. Seriously. If that's of no interest to you, just email us show suggestions at botepod@gmail.com.

Updating The LinkedIn: Prison Break

Tue, 16 Aug 2022 08:00:00 -0400

All tattoos should have meaning and that's why you need to design a prison and get that replicated on your body ASAP! Kelly, Phil, and Jennifer discuss Prison Break but also discuss flute playing and literature to show that they are highbrow. Want to prove that you're highbrow? Email us at botepod@gmail.com.

Towssed Salad And Scramby Eggs: Frasier

Tue, 09 Aug 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Weewoo weewoo we recorded this BEFORE the Russian invasion of Ukraine, so Phil’s already bad facetious takes about Putin ARE even worse now. But we left them in to be raw and real and stand alongside our fellow host.

Frasier Crane is a certified Kinsey One, folks! And he's also Seattle's most beloved radio host. Also, are our fans officially called BOTErs? Like Boat but also BOTE because we are BOTE. Or should it be stylized like BoTE? Any and all opinions are valid. Speaking of opinions, if you'd like to suggest a show or just cyberbully us, you can do so by emailing botepod@gmail.com.

A Woman Is President: Scandal

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Real Quick TW: After we give our predictions, we briefly mention a character's suicide.

This show is a feminist slay in that a, you guessed it, woman becomes president?? Even better, women are evil in this show! Shonda, you genius! This is Jennifer's first Shonda show, and this is Kelly's 3rd time turning back to this series - she's a sucker for a leading man + leading lady star-crossed lovers plot line! Phil will watch Scandal if it's on and he comes into the room. Basically, we are the three biggest fans of Shondaland!
Love Shonda or have a show rec? Email us at botepod@gmail.com !

Psychopath or Sociopath? Dexter

Tue, 26 Jul 2022 00:00:00 -0400

If you love blood, gore, and weird sibling sexual tension, then baby, Dexter is the show for you! While we don't know what his exact affliction is (psychopath versus sociopath versus just regular murderer with Robin Hood complex) we do know that this guy is a little bit of a freak. And really, who isn't?
Got a show rec for us? Then you better email botepod@gmail.com by EOD or boss will fire you!

Hipsters Hate It: Schitt's Creek

Tue, 19 Jul 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Phil tried and failed to watch this show so many times but I guess it was just """"too popular???"""" Jennifer and Kelly keep it basic and down-to-earth, absolutely adoring this show that arguably has too many Emmy's. This episode is sponsored in theory by Duolingo. Duolingo, for when you want to feel like your life is being threatened by a bilingual owl!
If you have a show suggestion or can say "Where is the library?" in Portuguese, email us at botepod@gmail.com !

A Show That Made Phil Cry Real Tears: Atypical

Tue, 21 Jun 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Sorry, folks! We randomly didn't do a quiz for this episode. I guess we were too distracted by how good Atypical is. That's right, all three of us have seen this whole show. We know, we know: eff the middle part. Unfortunately, we are hypocrites and liars!
Have a show suggestion or just advice about how to retire early? Email us at botepod@gmail.com

Note: the actor who portrays Casey, Brigette Lundy-Paine, is non-binary (they/them pronouns). When speaking about the character Casey, we use she/her pronouns.

A Forking Good Episode: The Good Place

Tue, 14 Jun 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Are there noticeable volume differences among the three audios? Sure. But this is a space for learning the ropes of podcasting and all things audio. Thank you for taking the journey with us. Speaking of journeys, journey to heaven (or hell) with Kelly, Phil, and Jennifer as we travel to the Good Place™️. Want to write a letter pleading your case for an eternity in the Good Place? Email us at botepod@gmail.com and we'll make sure it gets to the right place.

You Know You Love Me!: Gossip Gürl

Tue, 07 Jun 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Let's address the elephant in the room: this episode is a long one. But honey, it's all killer, no filler! If you disagree, send us the timestamps of what you would have cut out. Seriously. Do it. These cuts can be sent to botepod@gmail.com. XOXO

Water, Earth, Fire, Air: Avatar The Last Airbender

Tue, 31 May 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Did we have to look up the intro on YouTube to know the order of the elements for the episode title? Maybe! Mind your business! We talk everything from flying bison to... flying bison. Cannot get enough Appa content. What nation do you think you'd be born and raised in? Do you think you'd be able to bend? Where on the political spectrum would your nation fall? Explain why and show work! You can email answers and questions to botepod@gmail.com.

The Holy Spirit Is A Vibe: Lucifer

Tue, 24 May 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Hi welcome to hell, can I get y'all started with a round of water? This week Kelly, Phil, and Jennifer make a deal with the devil but we. do. not. visit. Georgia. Neither country nor state. This episode is a long one but it's worth it when you hear our very intellectual examination of the evangelical ideology surrounding the afterlife. Or whatever you want to call it. Suggest a TV show or just send us gossip by emailing botepod@gmail.com.

And They Were Cousins: House

Tue, 17 May 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Have you ever had a rude doctor who's only specialty is telling you that something is wrong with your brain/body/personality? Well then you haven't been a patient of Mr. Dr. House! Listen as we talk about cousins who aren't actually cousins and doctors potentially dying. Or not dying.
Do you have a complaint or TV show suggestion? Email us at botepod@gmail.com! We love attention.

Compulsing You To Listen To This Ep: The Vampire Diaries

Tue, 10 May 2022 00:00:00 -0400

It's not Twilight, but it is the next best thing. Listen in as Kelly, Phil, and Jennifer try and understand how hell fire works. This is probably our holiest episode yet, praise be! If you've ever participated in any reddit Vampire Diaries chats, please do not get angry at us, because there's no way we got everything correct. And that is okay!!! If you have a show suggestion, email us at botepod@gmail.com. Or just tell us you love us. <3

Clear Eyes, Full Heart, Can't Lose: Friday Night Lights

Tue, 03 May 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Clear Eyes, Clear Lies. Welcome to our new and hopefully improved audio. This week, we discuss the Texas Telenovela known as Friday Night Lights. Do you love football? Doesn't matter, because this show has drama and love and driving under the influence. Something for everyone!
Have a show suggestion? Email us at botepod@gmail.com! Or just tell us what your fictional football team would be named. Actually, definitely do that.

Announcement, Announcement!

Tue, 12 Apr 2022 00:00:00 -0400

I'll keep this sweet and short - we're taking just a tiny little break! It's so small that you'll blink and practically miss it.
We will be back on May 3rd for Friday Night Lights, a show none of us have seen! Listen to the ep as we navigate podcasting for the first time in over a year.
The bright side? The audio will be WAY better.
In the meantime, email us show suggestions at botepod@gmail.com.

Alleged Best Episode To Date: The Good Wife

Tue, 05 Apr 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Per Kelly, this episode is a Good One, much like Alicia Florrick. We watched the first and last episode of The Good Wife during the awakening of Covid-19. Our last time capsule episode! Listen to the ep and then email us at Botepod@gmail.com to let us know if you'd stand by your man in the midst of his sex scandal!

Bones, Bones, Bones. Bones.

Tue, 29 Mar 2022 00:00:00 -0400

In case you missed the title, we watched the first and last episode of Bones. And we also say the word "bones" a LOT. Buyer beware! Kelly, Phil, and Jennifer discuss the episodes as well as get sidetracked by the absurdity of the characters' names. Is your name also Temperance? Email us at botepod@gmail.com and let us know!

Gilmore Gorls

Tue, 22 Mar 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Headphone users beware, we belt the theme song to Gilmore Girls and we did it proudly (except Kelly hated it). Listen as we talk about the pilot and finale of the iconic Gilmore Girls. Are you more of a Loralei or a Rory? Let us know at botepod@gmail.com. Phil thinks he's an Emily, which Kelly and Jennifer vehemently disagree with.

Better Call Pod: Breaking Bad

Tue, 15 Mar 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Get out your periodic tables - we watched Breaking Bad! Listen as we debate what happened in the final scene of the show and reach no conclusion. Is Breaking Bad the quintessential "Boy Show?" Email us at botepod@gmail.com and let us know!

The Mindy Podcast: The Mindy Project

Tue, 08 Mar 2022 00:00:00 -0500

Ring ring, the doctor is in! We watched The Mindy Project. Listen to Jennifer namedrop Netflix Canada, Kelly watch the finale live after waiting two weeks, and Phil try and guess the name of every character. Please enjoy!
Have a show request or just a question in general about absolutely anything? Email us at botepod@gmail.com !

The One With The First Episode: Friends

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 20:00:00 -0500

In our premiere episode, we journey back to 2019, where we talk about Joey's stupidity and Rachel's hair. And boy oh boy, do we talk about things not even remotely related to Friends, or NBC at all! Please enjoy, and feel free to leave a 5-star review (we beg you)!