The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD

Ep179 - I'm worthless and broken and need to hide who I am

Sat, 27 Dec 2025 06:00:00 +0100

In this episode we talk about the core of many traumas and pain in the past - feeling worthless, unlovable and unloved. A feeling despite being so prevalent is neither good nor normal and especially harmful during this dark time of the year and even worse in the holiday seasons.

When listening to those who suffer, I keep hearing all sort of variants of “I need to hide who I am. If others knew they would leave me”. Be it because they feel broken, useless, unloved, unworthy of love, tainted, talentless or the like or maybe all I listed.

The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD

Ep179 - I'm worthless and broken and need to hide who I am

Ep178 - About anger and the so-called angry teenager

Ep177 - Weathering the (current) storm

Episode skip 3 - I'm (almost) back and the Holidays

Episode skip 2 - A little talk about what happened and the future 06. august

Episode Skip - Sign of life and reminder for 4th of july

Ep176 - Why do I feel so lonely? (hole inside / loneliness)

Ep175 - Abuse Language (Psychological abuse)

Ep174 - Flashbacks

Ep173 - How abusers keep control over us

Ep172 - Are we bound to be victims or abusers? (Hunters, survivors, healers)

Ep171 - What does healthy relationship look like?

Ep170 - Love is not enough

Ep169 - How can I build up my support system? (Relationship)

Ep168 - When am I ready for a new (healthy) relationship?

Ep167 - How can I achieve the new me / my true self? (New Year Resolutions)

Ep166 - Why do I loose control over my emotions? (overwhelmed emotional instability)

Ep165 - Why can mental health be a problem for men? (Suicide)

Ep164 - Do I have enough time left? Is my life over? (Midlife crisis sunk cost fallacy)

Ep163 - Why do I still feel like a child and not like an adult? (Neglect Parentification)

Ep162 - Can my mind make my body sick? (Psychosomatic)

Rerecord:Ep161 - Trauma makes you (not) stronger (Post Traumatic Growth PTG)

Ep161 - Trauma makes you (not) stronger? (Post Traumatic Growth PTG)

Ep160 - Were your parents 'good parents'? (childhood abuse neglect)

Ep159 - Why do I feel so scared or anxious? (Anxiety Overwhelmed Fear)

Ep158 - Why am I tired all the time? (overwhelmed, emotional numb)

Ep157 - Scars - The things that remain and how they affects us

Ep156 - Victim blaming (But what did you do?)

Ep155 - Self confidence + self love/loving yourself (Loneliness/Lonely II)

Ep154 - Why do I feel like I am unlovable? (Lonely/loneliness)

Ep153 - Double Trauma or Macarons Trauma (Update)

Ep152 - How do I remove or cut someone from my life? (Relationship)

Ep151 - Why is so hard to leave or cut someone out? (Relationship)

Ep150 - What factors decide if a military mission could cause PTSD?

Ep149 - Why is violence not THE deciding factor? (Trauma and PTSD)

Ep148 - Why emotions are more important than facts (for healing)

Ep147 - Big Update: Support Group/Discord/Reddit, Support me, Archive, Social Media, Book

Ep146 - How is dealing with C-PTSD so much harder than PTSD? (ring trauma and ball trauma)

Ep145 - "I just want peace" (Enduring the nightmare/healing process)

Ep144 - Survivor's guilt

Ep143 - Victim and abuser - the traitors of our kind

Ep142 - Nightmares and what we can do about them

Ep141 - Greetings from the end of this year

Ep140 - Why didn't I see it earlier? (Denial/Forgiving yourself)

Ep139 - Isolation (The Trauma after the Trauma)

Ep138 - Survival is never pretty

Ep137 - Why do I need to cry so much? (and why crying is a good thing and important)

Ep136 - Why do I feel hollow?

Ep135 - How could you make okay what happened? (I don't)

Ep134 - Why is it sometimes slow and sometimes fast? (Healing wave update)

Ep133 - Why am I feeling lost during the healing process?

Ep132 - 9 Methods to counter (C-)PTSD

Ep131 - 11 Methods in case of a (C-)PTSD emergency

Ep130 - 10 Methods for dealing with (C-)PTSD in every day life

Ep129 - Maintaining Hope (even in the darkest times)

Ep128 - What to do about feeling inferior, inner voices/critic, impostor, no self confidence

Ep127 - Why do I feel so inferior? Inner voices/ Inner critic (imposter)

Ep126 - Should I commit suicide? - Part 3 - Conclusions + Sickness + Mourning

Ep125 - Should I commit suicide? - Part 2 - Internal Struggles

Ep124 - False Acccusations (Johnny Depp Amber Heard Trial)

Ep123 - Should I commit suicide? - Part 1 - External Struggles

Ep122 - But I am totally fine (what does mentally unwell/sick really look like?) (Basics) - Part2

Ep121 - But I am totally fine (what does mentally unwell/sick really look like?) (Basics) - Part1

Ep120 - Am I moving forward or am I stuck?

Ep119 - Intermission: Dealing with hopelessness, helplessness, despair, suffering and anger (Ukraine Conflict)

Ep118 - You just do (not) get over something like that II - Dismantling

Ep117 - You just do (not) get over something like that

Ep116 - New years resolutions or how to make change last

Ep115 - Lagging behind others (Shame)

Ep114 - A letter for Christmas (with a side note about struggling)

Ep113 - Starting point tutorial for loss (Trigger core)

Ep112 - How your living environment affects you (Shame)

Ep111 - Finding yourself at the bottom again (Shame update)

Ep110 - Why is feeling nothing not a good thing? (Trauma update)

Ep109 - What should a good therapy look like to get rid of C-PTSD?

Ep108 - What is the problem and how should it be? (Therapeutic Abuse Update)

Ep107 - Why some reactions are not triggers but Trauma behavior (Trigger update)

Ep106 - If that caused my PTSD why don't I feel strongly about it? (Trauma update)

Ep105 - Method exaplained: Introspection (used by EMDR)