Episode 26: Endings

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 01:00:00 -0400

The Love Your Life Podcast Episode 26: Endings Are the Place We Begin Hi, and welcome to The Love Your Life Podcast. I’m glad you’re here. Today we’re talking about endings—something we all face, again and again. This time of year brings a lot of them. School years wrap up. Kids move on to the next phase. Some of us are sending high school graduates out into the world. And honestly? That’s been one of the hardest transitions I’ve faced—not when I graduated, but when my own child did. Endings come in all shapes: Jobs change. Relationships evolve. Kids grow. Bodies age. Dreams shift. And eventually, life itself ends. As William Bridges puts it in his book Transitions, “Transition is the natural process of disorientation and reorientation marking turning points in the path of growth.” And yet, most of us don’t give ourselves space for that disorientation. We want to rush to the fresh start and skip the messy middle. But real transitions begin with endings. Not just the event—but what it means internally. How we’re changed by it. Let me ask you—what’s ending in your life right now? A role? A belief? A relationship? A version of you? And how are you responding to it? Are you letting it go—or clinging to what was? That image of the monkey trap comes to mind—reaching in for the fruit, refusing to let go, and staying stuck because of it. That’s how we can get with old identities, patterns, even pain. Not because they serve us—but because they’re familiar. Scarcity tells us, “This might be as good as it gets.” But what if that’s not true? What if letting go is how we clear space for something better? Letting go isn’t easy. It takes courage and a willingness to accept what is. So, here’s what I want to invite you to do this week: ACTION ITEM: Write down your answers to these two questions: What is ending in my life right now? What emotions am I feeling around that ending—and what are they trying to tell me? Name it. Sit with it. Let yourself feel it instead of stuffing it down. Most emotions, when given space, move through us in under five minutes. When we avoid them, they stay—sometimes for years. Socrates said, “The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” But you can’t build the new until you acknowledge what’s ending. This is where real clarity begins. Thanks for joining me today. In the next episode, we’ll talk about the neutral zone—what I call “the soup”—that awkward, messy, middle part. And why it’s so important not to rush it. Until then, honor the ending. Let it do its work. Talk soon.

Episode 25: Curiosity Does A Lot More Than Kill Cats!

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 01:00:00 -0400

Hello and Welcome to The Love Your Life Podcast – This is Episode #25 – Curiosity Does a Lot More Than Kill Cats! I am genuinely excited to talk about one of my favorite and most useful feelings today — the feeling of curiosity. More often than not, we stay focused on feelings we don’t particularly like or want — things like anxiety, loneliness, anger, fear, or overwhelm. And we know that where our focus goes, our energy grows. So, the more we pay attention to how anxious or angry we are, the more anxious or angry we become. And here’s something that might surprise you: resisting something we don’t want is actually the same as focusing on it. That’s why what we resist... persists. So one of the most powerful shifts we can make is simply becoming aware when we’re resisting — when we’re wishing things or people were different, or when we’re caught up in emotions we don’t want. Because once we notice that we’re focused on what we don’t want, we gain a beautiful opportunity: We get to interrupt that pattern — and redirect our attention toward something that will actually serve us. And this is where curiosity comes in. Curiosity is the feeling that helps us build a bridge — a bridge away from what we don’t want, and toward what we do. That makes it one of the most valuable tools in any emotionally intelligent toolkit. If you’ve ever been gripped by the struggle and overwhelm of negativity, you probably know exactly how it shows up for you. Some people tell me it feels like a black hole, with slippery walls and fog swirling around their heads. Others say it’s like a loop of loud, demanding voices they can’t turn off. Personally, I’ve found myself in stretches where everything feels hopeless and negative — and I don’t even realize it until I hear the way I’m speaking to myself or the people closest to me. However your own personal vortex of doom presents itself, I want you to hear this: It’s only an illusion. You don’t have to believe everything it tells you. You don’t have to take every feeling at face value. But — and this part is important — you do have to wake up to it. You have to realize that these feelings are not in alignment with the most joyful, loving, empowered version of you. And today, I want to show you that the fastest way to break free... is curiosity. So Let’s Talk Brain Science (Because It’s So Cool) and you know I am always in awe of how incredible it is that our emotional and physical systems are so delicately balanced. Curiosity is a lot like gratitude because curiosity literally changes your brain. When you get curious, your brain releases dopamine, which is a feel-good chemical that fuels motivation and attention. At the same time, your hippocampus — the part of the brain involved in learning and memory — lights up. That means when you’re curious, you’re not only more engaged, but you actually learn and grow more easily — even if the topic isn’t directly related to what you were curious about. With the dopamine flowing and the hippocampus lit up Curiosity is fueled to moves us out of negative emotions like fear, anxiety, and overwhelm to name a few - and into a space with more possibility and openness that is a lot like exploration. Curiosity has the power to invite softness, compassion, and sometimes even awe when we discover something that we had never noticed before. If you think of children learning new things, they are not usually scared, but they are almost always present. This is the type of energy we are able to step into when we invite curiosity in as the antithesis to fear, anxiety, criticism, judgement, sadness, hopelessness, and anger. Hopefully this information ignites a spark of curiosity today - Maybe you are questioning if this could actually help when you are in your next swirling vortex of doom? Maybe you doubt that it could be that simple, if this is you, ask yourself to consider that maybe I’m on to something and it could possibly be worth your time to find out? Maybe you are just tired of always feeling negative, and you might muster a little grain of hope to consider that there might be something here that you have been looking for today. That is curiosity my friend! Today I will share 3 steps that can move you from negativity, to awareness, to change - and then I will share a couple examples with you to illustrate how curiosity helps us at any age or stage. Step 1: Reflect on Your Daily Emotional Landscape Each night, ask yourself: What were my top three feelings today? If you notice that your answers are consistently negative — frustration, exhaustion, resentment — that’s a signal. Not a judgment. Just a signal. And it’s time to get curious. Step 2: Ask Gentle, Honest Questions Start asking yourself questions about your emotions — not to fix them, but to understand them. “I wonder why I felt that way today?” “What might have been going on underneath that irritation?” “Was I tired, hungry, stressed, or overloaded?” “What was I needing that I didn’t get?” These kinds of questions aren’t about solving a puzzle — they’re about opening your mind up to different possibilities to consider. Curiosity doesn’t expect specific answers, but it does invite you to greater awareness. And that’s where transformation begins. Step 3: Gently Redirect When You’re Stuck When you find yourself spiraling in a negative loop, practice gently redirecting your attention by asking: “What am I not seeing yet?” “If there’s something here for me to learn, what might it be?” “What else could be true in this situation?” You’re not pretending things are okay. You’re simply creating space between yourself and the story your mind is stuck on. And that space? That’s where insight lives. . Thank you for joining me today for Episode 25 – Curiosity Does a Lot More Than Kill Cats! If this episode sparked something for you, I’d love to hear about it. Send me a message or share your insight with someone you love.