Host/Co-host: Jason Beard & Justin Merritt

The movie reviews are officially on hold because President Scott has ordered the bunker crew to just chat and "act like professionals." This week on Dystopian Drive-In, Jason (broadcasting from a dusty 12x12 rocket storage room) and Justin Merritt (broadcasting from a plush, ED-pill-funded missile silo) ditch the script for their very first unscripted banter session: The Codpast. 

Bunker Blues & The Horny Mailbag

While Jason wrestles with intense social anxiety and handles a growing puddle of "mystery seepage" in his bunker, the duo dives into a wildly chaotic batch of post-apocalyptic fan mail. The listeners prove that Armageddon has made the surviving population incredibly horny, resulting in messages ranging from Breaking Bad nostalgia and face-punching inquiries to a listener aggressively accusing Jason of being a cuckold. Jason fiercely shuts down the rumors, begging the caller to buy some chapstick to stop his disgusting, "lickety-smackety" microphone mouth noises. 

The Childhood Trauma of the Undead

To wrap up the chat, Justin explains his deep-seated childhood trauma regarding zombie movies, tracing it back to a terrifying scene in Return of the Living Dead where a severed zombie torso wiggles like a tail while moaning that "being dead hurts." Jason attempts to comfort him by praising the high art of The Walking Dead and 28 Days Later, but the mood crashes when they realize El Presidente’s next mandatory movie assignment is a zombie flick they are both actively trying to avoid. 

From Jason Beard, the mind behind the award nominated audio cinematic podcasts Leo Brawn, Magnetar and Topaz & Stillman... comes your new listening obsession.

Episode Summary: "Frankie's One-Take Broken Finger"

Host/Co-host: Jason Beard & Justin Merritt

Guest Stars: Larry Oblander & Mike Pelletier

To the listeners out there: this is a second dry run, not the final broadcast. We’re briefly lifting the lid on all our unedited mistakes and imperfections. Indulge your inner critic... while it lasts.

The global apocalypse is raging outside, but inside the bunker, old blue eyes is playing solitaire in our heads. Welcome back to Dystopian Drive-In with your hosts Jason Beard and Justin Merritt, alongside our resident "gallbladder" asset Mike Pelletier and our stellar announcer Larry Oblander. This week, under strict orders from the invisible but omnipresent El Presidente Scott, the crew dives deep into the 1962 black-and-white psychological Cold War thriller, The Manchurian Candidate. 

Forget the Denzel Washington remake—we went straight for the absolute OG classic to see if Frank Sinatra’s brainwashed platoon deserves a spot in humanity's permanent vault or if it needs to be completely purged from existence. 

In this episode, the bunker crew breaks down:

• Sinatra’s Dictatorship of Art: The real truth behind the film’s famously artsy, blurry, out-of-focus shots. Spoiler: It wasn't genius cinematography; Frank Sinatra just strictly refused to do more than one take because he believed a second take meant he was doing a second movie and deserved a second paycheck. 
• The Hollywood Karate Pioneer: A hilariously wooden look at the first time karate was ever featured in a major American film. Plus, how Frank Sinatra literally broke his finger chopping a table in half on set and just aggressively pushed through the scene anyway. 
• The Mommy Issues Final Boss: Analyzing Angela Lansbury's masterclass performance as the ultimate villainous handler. We unpack the deeply uncomfortable, sensor-blocking incestuous kiss she uses to trigger her son, and the mind-blowing trivia that she was only three years older than the actor playing her child in real life. 
• The "Garden Club" Race Shift: A brilliant, easily missed editing detail where the old ladies in the platoon's brainwashed hallucinations completely shift demographics based on which soldier is having the nightmare. 
• Fragile 1960s Throats: Why assassination via a loose napkin looks like it takes zero physical effort compared to a modern-day 10-minute piano wire struggle. 

Does this slow-burning masterpiece withstand the test of radioactive time, or does it get blasted into oblivion? Tune in to hear the final verdict, catch a round of the trivia game "Spoilers Are Spoiled," and eavesdrop on our latest intercepted broadcast of the apocalypse's greatest radio romance, My Sweet Leonid. 

Tagline of the Week: "It's like that well-known medical phenomenon where if you get hit in the head with a flower pot, you get amnesia. But if you get hit in the head with a flower pot again, you get all your memories back. Science."

From Jason Beard, the mind behind the award nominated audio cinematic podcasts Leo Brawn, Magnetar and Topaz & Stillman... comes your new listening obsession.

Attention survivors: what you're hearing is a second rough rehearsal, not the finished product. Consider this a limited-time opportunity to sit in on our studio session and witness the unfiltered flaws in all their glory. Enjoy this sneak preview... while you still can!

Tagline of the Week: "You successfully completed intercourse. You are now a spy. Goodbye."

The world remains a post-apocalyptic wasteland, but the bunker's film preservation mandate marches on! Welcome back to Dystopian Drive-In with your hosts Jason Beard and Justin Merritt. Broadcast live under the watchful eye of El Presidente Scott, the crew welcomes special guests Larry Oblander and Coach Pelletier to review the 2018 espionage film, Red Sparrow. 

Starring Jennifer Lawrence as a prima ballerina turned lethal "honey pot" operative, this massive budget thriller was supposed to be a serious take on statecraft—but for the bunker crew, it mostly turned out to be a massive "mid" dud. 

In this episode, the bunker crew dissects:

• The "Suck and Banger" School of Spycraft: A deep look into the bizarre training methods of "State School Four" and why it feels more like Sex Hogwarts than actual CIA espionage. 
• Inconsistent Accents & Bad Plumbing: Pointing out the agonizingly fluid shifts between Russian, British, and classic American accents, and why Russian hotel plumbing instantly cures manufactured suspense. 
• The Magical 3.5-Month Healing Factor: A medical breakdown of how Jennifer Lawrence recovers from a horrific, bone-shattering leg break to walking perfectly in a ball gown in a matter of weeks. 
• The 24-Second Love Scene: Clocking Joel Edgerton's underwhelming romantic endurance with J-Law. 
• Alternative Titles & "KGBDSM": The crew pitches their own creative titles for the movie, including Whore School, Titty Titty Bang Bang, and The Whore from U.N.C.L.E.

Does this slow-moving spy thriller have what it takes to be preserved for future generations, or will El Presidente fire up the incinerator to purge it for all time? 

Host:

• Jason Beard

Co-host:

• Justin Merritt

Guest Starring:

• Larry Oblander
• Mike Pelletier

From Jason Beard, the mind behind the award nominated audio cinematic podcasts Leo Brawn, Magnetar and Topaz & Stillman... comes your new listening obsession.

Episode 2: "Lethal Weapon with Kilts"

To the listeners:  This is a second dry run and not the finished product.  For a limited time, we're letting you peek behind the curtain to witness the flaws and all.  Indulge in your inner voyeur... while it lasts.

The world has officially ended, but the movie reviews must go on! Welcome to the pilot episode of Dystopian Drive-In, broadcasting to you live from vastly different corners of a massive underground survival bunker. 

Join your host  Jason Beard, his co-host Justin Merritt (who is currently surviving the apocalypse in a plush Montana Airbnb missile silo), and Andy—their aggressively disgruntled, heavily drinking British weather reporter who is dealing with some serious marital debris. 

Just when they think they are the last souls alive, The President of the Republic, Shaun Scott hijacks the airwaves with a direct order from the new Republic: preserve the culture of the former United States by curating the ultimate media vault. Their first mandatory assignment? Mel Gibson’s 1995 sweeping historical epic, Braveheart. 

In this episode, the bunker crew tackles:

• The Visceral Reality of 90s Battle Scenes: How Braveheart laid the muddy, blood-splattered template for everything from Saving Private Ryan to Game of Thrones. 
• Historical Inaccuracies vs. Cinema Magic: Blue face paint, 13th-century kilts, and why Princess Isabella definitely wasn't having a secret romance with William Wallace in real life. 
• The Ultimate Dilemma: Can you separate a masterful film from a notoriously problematic director? 

Does this Oscar-winning classic deserve a permanent spot in humanity's post-apocalyptic vault, or should it be obliterated into the nuclear wasteland? Plus, El Presidente drops a surprise announcement for next week's movie assignment. 

SPOILER ALERT: No horses or Irish Army Reservists were harmed in the making of this podcast.

Host:
Jason Beard
Co-host:
Justin Merritt

Guest Starring:

• Shaun Scott
• Andy Parkiin

From Jason Beard, the mind behind the award nominated audio cinematic podcasts Leo Brawn, Magnetar and Topaz & Stillman... comes your new listening obsession.

To the listeners: Beware, this is a dry-run episode while we work out the kinks.  So, if you like a little bts with your podcasts, enjoy!!

In the pilot episode of Dystopian Drive-In, Jason and Justin awaken to discover the world as they know it has ended. Civilization is gone, humanity hangs in the balance, and for reasons neither of them fully understand… they’ve been assigned one final responsibility: reviewing movies to determine what deserves to survive the apocalypse.

First up for judgment: Deep Cover (1992) — the gritty crime thriller directed by Bill Duke, written by Michael Tolkin and Henry Bean, and starring Laurence Fishburne and Jeff Goldblum.

Joined by President Shaun Scott and one very unexpected guest, the panel must decide the ultimate question: Is Deep Cover worthy of humanity’s future… or should it be permanently purged from existence?

There’s only one way to find out.

Dive In to the Drive In.

Hosts:

• Jason Beard
• Justin Merritt

Guest starring:

• Shaun Scott
• Mitch Leschinski