Money ends more marriages than cheating.
Not because couples don't love each other —
but because they never had the real 
conversation about it.

In Episode 5, Harry and Shade go all the way
in on finances. The money mindsets they each
brought into this marriage. The mistakes. The
disagreements. The power dynamics. And the
financial lessons that only 20 years of real
life together can teach you.

This is not a finance podcast. This is a
marriage podcast — and money is one of the
most personal things inside of one.

📌 WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 - Cold Open
        Before money talks FOR you —
        you have to talk ABOUT it

💰 The Money Backgrounds
        The money mindset Harry and Shade
        each brought in from childhood.
        What their parents taught them —
        consciously and unconsciously.
        The beliefs that caused the most
        friction early in the marriage.

👫 The Real Talk — Harry & Shade's Story
        Who handles the finances and how
        that happened.
        Joint or separate — what they do
        and why.
        The hidden purchases.
        The biggest financial mistake they
        made as a couple.
        Has money ever created a power
        imbalance in 20 years?
        What their financial picture looks
        like now vs where they started.

🔟 Top 5 Money Questions Couples Ask
        Real answers from 20 years of real
        marriage. Not a finance book.

        • Joint or separate accounts?
        • Spender vs saver — how do you 
          navigate that?
        • How do you talk about money 
          without it becoming a fight?
        • What do you do when one partner 
          earns significantly more?
        • How do you get on the same page 
          with completely different money
          backgrounds?

💌 Fix It or Leave It — Listener Situation
        One real money situation from a real
        listener. Harry and Shade give their
        honest take — and they do not fully
        agree.

🔥 Hot Seat — Money Edition
        Have you ever hidden a purchase?
        Who is better with money?
        What is your biggest financial fear
        for this family right now?
        Fast. Unscripted. No skipping.

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💬 DROP A COMMENT — Has money ever been
a source of real tension in your 
relationship? What was the conversation 
that finally changed things?

We want to hear from you ⬇️
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❤️ SUPPORT THE SHOW:
If We Need To Talk has added value to
your life or your relationship — support
us directly and keep the real talk coming
every single week.
👉 https://linktr.ee/WeneedtotalkHS

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🎧 LISTEN ON ALL PLATFORMS:
🟢 Spotify
🎵 Apple Podcasts
📦 Amazon Music
📻 iHeartRadio
🎙️ Pocket Casts | Podchaser | Podcast Addict
   Player FM | Podcast Index
▶️ YouTube: @WeneedtotalkHS
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

📲 FOLLOW US:
TikTok & Instagram: @weneedtotalkhs

👍 Like · Subscribe · Share with one couple
who needs to have this conversation

New episode every Sunday at 11AM EST 🎙️

— Harry & Shade ❤️

#weneedtotalkhs #couplesoftiktok #marriedlife
#realtalk #podcast #blacklove #moneyandmarriage
#relationshipgoals #marriageadvice #blackpodcast
#finances #couplegoals #realrelationshiptalk
#relationshiptok #20yearsmarried

Support the show

Most couples think they have good communication 
problem. But what if the real problem is not 
HOW you communicate, but WHAT is actually 
driving the conversation without your 
permission?

In Episode 4, Harry and Shade break down the 
two systems are running inside your brain every 
single day and show exactly how they show up 
inside a marriage, in real arguments, real 
patterns, and 20 years of real moments between 
two people who had to learn how to actually 
hear each other.

This one hits different. 🧠

📌 WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 - Cold Open
        Shade drops the receipts on Harry's
        communication — and he knew it was coming

🧠 The Framework
        The two systems running your brain
        every day whether you know it or not.
        System 1 — your automatic, reactive,
        old-program brain.
        System 2 — your intentional, conscious,
        choosing brain.
        Most couples are having System 1
        conversations and wondering why nothing
        ever gets resolved.

👫 The Real Talk — Harry & Shade's Story
        The patterns they brought in from
        childhood without realizing it.
        The receipts Shade had on Harry.
        The receipts Harry had on Shade.
        The argument they kept having for years
        — and what it was really about.
        The moment everything shifted.

🛠️ Tools That Actually Work
        4 practical tools to switch from
        reacting to responding — starting
        tonight.
        Tool 1 — Catch the thought
        Tool 2 — Question it
        Tool 3 — Choose the second thought
        Tool 4 — Create quiet

🔥 Hot Seat — Communication Edition
        "When I am talking to you, are you
        actually listening or already planning
        your response?"
        Fast. Unscripted. No skipping.

🎬 Outro + Episode 5 Tease
        Money is coming. Joint accounts,
        hidden purchases, financial secrets.
        The conversation that ends more
        marriages than cheating.

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💬 DROP A COMMENT — What is your System 1
trigger in your relationship? The thing that
sends you straight to reaction mode before
you can stop yourself?

We want to know. ⬇️
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❤️ SUPPORT THE SHOW:
If this episode helped you or your relationship
support us directly — every contribution keeps
the real talk coming every week.
👉 https://linktr.ee/WeneedtotalkHS

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🎧 LISTEN ON ALL PLATFORMS:
🟢 Spotify
🎵 Apple Podcasts
📦 Amazon Music
📻 iHeartRadio
🎙️ Pocket Casts | Podchaser | Podcast Addict
   Player FM | Podcast Index
▶️ YouTube: @WeneedtotalkHS
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

📲 FOLLOW US:
TikTok & Instagram: @weneedtotalkhs

👍 Like · Subscribe · Share with one couple
who needs to hear this

New episode every Sunday at 11AM EST 🎙️

— Harry & Shade ❤️

#weneedtotalkhs #couplesoftiktok #marriedlife
#realtalk #podcast #blacklove #communication
#relationshipgoals #marriageadvice #blackpodcast
#mindset #couplegoals #realrelationshiptalk
#relationshiptok #20yearsmarried

Support the show

This is the episode most podcasts won't make.

Harry and Shade get completely vulnerable about 
something millions of couples go through and almost 
nobody talks about out loud — intimacy challenges, 
body changes, and the health issues that silently 
affect your relationship before you even know 
what's happening.

This one is personal. This one is real. 
And this one might save your relationship.

📌 WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

🔟 Top 5 Intimacy Questions Couples Actually Ask
        We start with the questions every couple 
        is googling at midnight but never saying 
        to each other.
        Real answers from 20 years of real marriage.
        Not textbook. Not filtered. Just honest.

        • How do you keep intimacy alive after 
          years of marriage, kids, and life?
        • What do you do when one partner wants 
          it more than the other?
        • How do health changes affect intimacy 
          and what do you do about it?
        • How do you get the intimacy back after 
          a long dry spell?
        • How do you talk about intimacy problems 
          without making your partner feel broken?

💑 The Real Talk — Harry & Shade's Story
        Harry opens up about his personal experience 
        with erectile dysfunction in his early 30s.
        The fear. The silence. The mental spiral.
        The questions it created between him and Shade.

        Shade shares what it felt like from her side —
        the doubts, the thoughts she was too afraid 
        to say out loud, and what it took to support 
        her husband through something neither of them 
        had a roadmap for.

        And how they found their way back to each 
        other — stronger than before.

🏥 The Health Talk — What Nobody Tells You
        The connection between ED and high blood 
        pressure that Harry discovered years later.
        What pre-menopause actually does to a 
        woman's desire, her body, and her relationship.
        What every partner needs to understand 
        before they make her changes about themselves.
        How to navigate physical changes together 
        instead of letting them silently create 
        distance between you.

🔥 Hot Seat — Intimacy Edition
        The questions most couples think but 
        never say out loud.
        Fast. Unscripted. No skipping allowed.
        The answers might surprise you.

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🚨 TO EVERY MAN LISTENING:
If something has changed in your intimate life —
your body is trying to tell you something.

Get your blood pressure checked.
Get your testosterone checked.
Get a full physical.

Don't let embarrassment cost you your health 
or your relationship.
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🌸 TO EVERY WOMAN'S PARTNER:
When her desire changes — that is not about you.
Learn what pre-menopause actually does before 
you make it about yourself.
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💬 DROP A COMMENT — Has your relationship 
ever been affected by a health issue neither 
of you knew how to talk about?
You are not alone. We see you.

❤️ SUPPORT THE SHOW:
If this episode helped you or someone you love —
support us directly and keep the real talk coming
every single week.
https://linktr.ee/WeneedtotalkHS

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🎧 LISTEN ON ALL PLATFORMS:
🟢 Spotify
🎵 Apple Podcasts
📦 Amazon Music
📻 iHeartRadio
🎙️ Pocket Casts | Podchaser | Podcast Addict
   Player FM | Podcast Index
▶️ YouTube: @WeneedtotalkHS
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

📲 FOLLOW US:
TikTok & Instagram: @weneedtotalkhs

👍 Like · Subscribe · Share with someone 
who needs to hear this

New episode every Sunday at 11AM EST 🎙️

— Harry & Shade ❤️

#weneedtotalkhs #couplesoftiktok #marriedlife
#realtalk #podcast #blacklove #intimacy
#menshealth #blackmenhealth #premenopause
#relationshipgoals #marriageadvice #blackpodcast
#healthyrelationship #20yearsmarried

Support the show

We said we weren't done with Trust — and we meant it.

Episode 2 picks up right where we left off. Harry and 
Shade finish answering the Top 10 most common trust 
questions couples actually ask and as always, we 
don't always agree. That's kind of the whole point.

Then we do something new we break down a real 
Comment left by a listener and answer it in 5 deep 
questions. Because sometimes one comment says 
everything a lot of people are feeling, but nobody 
is saying out loud.

We throw in a BONUS QUESTION that came out of 
nowhere, and honestly stopped us both for a second.

Then the Hot Seat closes it out — fast, unscripted, 
and no skipping allowed.

📌 WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 - Cold Open + Welcome Back
       Finishing what we started on Trust

Top 10 Trust Questions — The Conclusion
       We pick up where Episode 1 left off and 
       Finish answering every single one. Our 
       real answers. No textbook responses.

Listener Comment Breakdown
       A real comment. 5 deep questions. 
       Harry and Shade break it all the way down 
       and hold nothing back.

Bonus Question
       The one question that stopped us mid-
       conversation. You'll understand when 
       you hear it.

🔥 Hot Seat
       Fast. Unscripted. No skipping.
       The questions most couples won't ask 
       each other — we asked them anyway.

Outro + Episode 3 Tease
       Next week we're switching gears. 
       Communication is coming — and Shade 
       already has receipts on Harry.

💬 DROP A COMMENT — Which trust question from 
the Top 10 hit closest to home? And did you 
agree with our answers?

❤️ SUPPORT THE SHOW:
If We Need To Talk has added value to your 
life or your relationship, support us directly!
Every contribution keeps the real talk coming 
every single week.
👉 buzzsprout.com/2614519/support

🎧 LISTEN ON ALL PLATFORMS:
🟢 Spotify
🎵 Apple Podcasts
📦 Amazon Music
📻 iHeartRadio
🎙️ Pocket Casts | Podchaser | Podcast Addict
   Player FM | Podcast Index
▶️ YouTube: @WeneedtotalkHS

📲 FOLLOW US:
TikTok & Instagram: @weneedtotalkhs

👍 Subscribe · Share · Leave a Review
New episode every Sunday at 11AM EST

— Harry & Shade 🎙️

Support the show

Welcome to We Need To Talk with Harry and Shade the podcast where a real married couple sits down, keeps it 100, and has the conversations most people avoid.

We're Harry and Shade Farquharson. Twenty years married, four kids ranging from 7 to 20, and zero interest in pretending we have it all figured out. This podcast is our real story the love, the hard seasons, the laughs, and the lessons that only come from actually putting in the work together.

In this first episode we introduce ourselves and our family the real version, not the highlight reel. You'll meet the kids, hear how we got here, and find out exactly why we decided to start doing this out loud on a microphone.

Then we get into it. Our featured topic for Episode 1 is TRUST one of the most important and most avoided conversations in any relationship. We talk about what trust really means to each of us, what happens when it breaks, what it actually takes to rebuild it, and the small everyday things that either build trust or quietly destroy it.

We also pull out The Receipts breaking down current celebrity relationship situations and connecting them directly to what real couples go through every day.

This episode covers:
• Who Harry & Shade are — and what 20 years really looks like
• Introducing our four kids and the chaos of a full house
• Trust — our personal definition and what it's meant in our marriage
• What breaks trust and what it takes to actually rebuild it
• The Hot Seat segment — rapid fire questions, no skipping allowed
• Real relationship habits — the ones building you up and the ones tearing you down

If you've ever questioned your partner, been questioned yourself, or just want to hear two real people talk about real life — this one is for you.

New episodes drop every week. Follow, subscribe, and send us your questions — we read everything.

— Harry & Shade

Support the show