This episode explores what it feels like to keep showing up while carrying more than most people see—for family, for relationships, and for yourself.

From difficult conversations and setting boundaries with people you love, to questions about purpose, confidence, intimacy, and the future, this conversation follows the thoughts that usually stay in your own head.

Not every week comes with a breakthrough.

Sometimes it’s just admitting where you are.

And sometimes...

you just don’t know.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

What does it mean to stay soft in a world that keeps asking us to harden?

This week's episode of Even If You're Scared explores the quiet strength found in vulnerability, the courage it takes to receive love, and the difference between surviving life and truly living it.

Through conversations about grief, relationships, masculinity, identity, plants, and the people who teach us it's safe to be seen, this episode asks whether softness is really something to outgrow—or something worth protecting.

Because maybe resilience isn't about becoming unbreakable.

Maybe it's about remaining open, even after everything.

If you've ever mistaken independence for healing, struggled to let people love you, or wondered how to stay tender without losing your strength, this conversation is for you.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

But nothing else did.

A deeply personal conversation about the emotional comedown after Pride Month, the parallels it shares with Juneteenth and other moments of collective remembrance, and the question that's been lingering ever since:

Why does kindness so often feel conditional?

An honest reflection on visibility, moral exhaustion, frustration, hope, and the choice to keep showing up for one another—even after the awareness month ends.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

This Pride Month conversation welcomes Veronica—a Black, Nigerian, queer Londoner, former podcaster, and longtime friend—for a funny, thoughtful, and deeply familiar conversation between two people who probably should've started recording years ago.

What begins as a list of questions about identity, dating, friendship, queerness, community, and life across the pond quickly develops a mind of its own. Stories overlap. Topics wander. Side quests emerge. The outline does its best.

Somewhere between laughter, lived experience, cultural nuance, and the kind of banter that only exists between people who genuinely love and respect each other, the conversation becomes something bigger than either of them planned.

At its heart, this episode is a celebration of Black queer friendship, curiosity, joy, honesty, and the many ways community can find us.

And with entirely too many questions left on the list, this conversation is far from over.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

Instead, it arrived on Juneteenth.

What begins as a reflection on houseplants slowly unfolds into a conversation about grief, memory, Pride, community, survival, and the stories carried forward by the people and places that shape us.

From a room called Grey Matter to a collection of plants connected to different chapters of life, this episode explores what it means to nurture something when everything else feels uncertain—and how growth can happen alongside loss.

A thoughtful, occasionally funny, and deeply personal reflection on roots, remembrance, healing, and the surprising ways connection shows up in everyday life.

Because sometimes a conversation about plants isn't really about plants at all.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

The conversation with Tracy continues.

Picking up where Part 1 leaves off, this episode dives deeper into long-distance love, queerness, pansexuality, polyamory, identity, Pride, and the ongoing process of creating a life that feels authentic.

Together, this conversation explores belonging, visibility, relationship structures, personal freedom, and the courage required to keep choosing yourself while remaining connected to the people you love.

What does Pride mean when it's lived rather than performed?

What does authenticity look like in relationships?

And how do we continue becoming ourselves while allowing the people we love to do the same?

Thoughtful, funny, vulnerable, and deeply honest, this conversation creates space for curiosity, growth, and the many ways love can evolve.

Find Tracy on all platforms @Tracy_Intransit

Happy Pride.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

For the first guest episode of Even If You're Scared, creator, traveler, storyteller, and digital nomad Tracy joins the conversation for an honest discussion about reinvention, risk, and what happens when a life no longer fits.

After leaving behind a traditional career path, Tracy packed up what she could carry and stepped into a completely different chapter—an experience she describes as "burning her life to the ground."

Together, this conversation explores travel, content creation, uncertainty, freedom, and the courage it takes to build a life on your own terms. The conversation also begins to explore the realities of maintaining a long-distance relationship while navigating a life that rarely stays still.

What does freedom actually look like?

What does it cost?

And how do relationships survive while life is changing around them?

A thoughtful, funny, vulnerable, and deeply human conversation about becoming.

Happy Pride.

Find Tracy @Tracy_Intransit on ALL platforms

Happy Pride.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

Between forgotten keys, a packed bar, awkward pedicure conversations, shirtless selfies, fresh flowers, and a long list of adult responsibilities, this episode explores the small moments that make life feel a little lighter.

A conversation about being seen, finding joy where you can, and learning to appreciate the glimmers that show up when you're paying attention.

Because sometimes the best stories aren't the ones that were planned.

Happy Pride, y'all. 🌈

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

Pride. Juneteenth. Community. Identity. Joy.

This week, a reflection on first Pride memories, taking up space, finding belonging, and learning that sometimes the most radical thing a person can do is become more of themselves.

A conversation about queer joy, chosen family, visibility, fear, and the freedom that comes from finally realizing there are more of us.

Happy Pride, Y'all. 

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

This episode explores what happens when resilience becomes second nature—when responsibility, grief, debt, healing, friendship, and survival begin to blur together.

From persistent muscle spasms and health anxiety to inherited responsibilities and the pressure of always being "the strong one," this conversation sits with the reality of carrying more than one person was ever meant to carry alone.

At its heart, this episode is about questioning what strength really means.

Is strength pushing through no matter what?

Or is it knowing when to set something down?

Is it carrying everything?

Or trusting that some things were never meant to be carried alone?

A reflection on grief, growth, Pride, hope, and the ongoing search for a life that contains a little more ease.

Because maybe being strong enough doesn't mean carrying more.

Maybe it means finally allowing some of the weight to be shared.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

Inside a 1,000-square-foot Brooklyn apartment, days blur between routine and drift—waking on a couch instead of a bed, moving through a to-do list that never quite changes, and living in the quiet loop of work, memory, and survival. Ordinary details—like a missing remote, shifting light on the walls, or labeled bags left behind by a mother—become anchors in a life that feels constantly in motion.

This episode doesn’t try to tidy itself up. It moves the way real thoughts do: messy, nonlinear, and honest in its incompleteness.

It sits in the space between stillness and overwhelm—living alone, thinking too much, loving from a distance, and trying to stay present in a mind that rarely turns off.

Nothing is resolved here. Nothing is completed. It’s just life, continuing—one quiet moment at a time.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

A long distance, open relationship sits alongside deep missing, emotional honesty, and the complexity of staying connected across distance. Work as a bartender shapes how attention, flirting, and perception are experienced, often blurring the line between presence and projection.

Beneath it all is the daily weight of adulthood—maintenance, exhaustion, grief, and the quiet effort it takes just to keep going.

There are no answers here, only the act of continuing anyway.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

This episode reflects on the loss of a mother and sister, the weight and beauty of remembrance, and the ways love continues through family, ritual, memory, and everyday acts of care. From dressing an altar and sharing a meal to holding space for complicated family dynamics and generational love, this conversation honors motherhood in all its forms.

A deeply personal episode about grief, gratitude, devotion, and the first women who ever held my heart.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

Episode 5 explores romance, connection, grief, friendship, family, and the quiet ways love continues to shape us long after moments have passed. From long-distance affection to the imprint of past relationships, this episode reflects on what it means to love deeply in a world that often asks people not to.

A softer episode about vulnerability, intimacy, memory, and the strange beauty of caring too much. The soft parts of love I can't let go of.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

This episode explores what it feels like to be pulled in multiple directions at once—balancing family, responsibility, grief, and personal well-being.

It dives into the tension between wanting to show up for the people you love and realizing you may not have the capacity to carry everything placed on you. There’s an honest reflection on guilt, emotional responsibility, and the pressure to fix situations that don’t have clear solutions.

The episode also touches on the reality of healing—how moments of clarity and progress, like those found in therapy, can feel temporary when overwhelm returns. It highlights the nonlinear nature of growth and the frustration of feeling like you’re starting over.

At its core, this is a conversation about learning where to draw the line between supporting others and preserving yourself.

For anyone feeling stretched thin, emotionally responsible, or afraid of losing themselves while trying to hold everything together—this episode offers a moment of recognition and grounding.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

In this episode, Sil opens up about overgiving, learning to say no, and what it looks like to choose yourself without needing closure.

Because sometimes growth doesn’t feel good—and choosing yourself can come at a cost.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

Sil opens up about personal experiences with loss and the ongoing process of healing while still trying to live fully. This episode explores how grief can exist alongside growth, spirituality, love, and letting go.

It’s about learning how to carry what stays with you—and still choosing to keep going.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.

If this episode felt familiar in any way—like your mind, your room, your routines, or your quiet—you’re not alone in it.

You can reach out anytime at 7amkingsil@gmail.com or on Instagram @abstract_catalyst. Messages don’t need to be perfect. They don’t need to be important. They just need to be yours.

Everything sent gets read. Even if it takes time to sit with it.

And wherever you are right now—whether you’re moving fast, standing still, or somewhere in between—you don’t have to force clarity out of it today.

Just keep going gently.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s uncertain.

Even if you’re scared.