Judging Things

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Hosts/Producers/Editors: Jeanne Hafner, Jessica Griffith, & Joanna Hafner

Original Music by Lundstroem

Judging Restaurant Experiences

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0400

Restaurants aren’t just about food anymore—they’re a full-blown performance. In this episode of Judging Things,we spill the tea on over-the-top dining experiences—from hibachi theatrics (flying shrimp = chaos) to tableside guac that should wow but sometimes just… doesn’t. We dive into birthday song cringe, weirdly intimate singing waiters, and the emotional damage of being forced onto a Texas Roadhouse saddle. Expect hot takes on immersive dining, Rainforest Café nostalgia, robot servers, and the true MVPs: free donuts, pup cups, and surprise snacks. If you’ve ever asked, “Is this dinner or a Broadway audition?”—this one’s for you.

P.S. We swear. A lot. Listener discretion advised.

Key Takeaways:

Tableside food = high risk, high drama. If there’s no flair, we will judge.
Hibachi is elite… until someone tries to launch shrimp into your eyeball.
Birthday attention at restaurants? Equal parts spotlight and social nightmare.
Immersive dining (murder mystery, themed spots, cooking your own food) = fun… if you’re not doing unpaid labor.
Freebies (Krispy Kreme hot donuts, pup cups, bakery cookies) > overpriced gimmicks. Always.
Singing servers + eye contact = absolutely not. Please perform over there.

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Got a question for us or a topic we should judge? Email us at judgingthingspod@gmail.com.

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Hosts/Producers/Editors: Jeanne Hafner, Jessica Griffith, & Joanna Hafner

Original Music by Lundstroem

Judging Concerts

Wed, 22 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0400

Concerts: magical, overpriced chaos where vibes matter more than vocals and someone might ruin your night by sitting. In this episode of Judging Things, we dive into everything from three-hour legends (hi, Rod Stewart) to one-hour letdowns, jam bands that drift into “deep space,” and the eternal war of sitters vs. standers. We’re sharing bathroom line heists, tailgating triumphs, merch guilt, and the shocking reality of concert ticket prices. Sprinkle in mosh pits, lawn seats, and questionable porta-potty decisions, and you’ve got the ultimate concert survival guide…or cautionary tale.

P.S. We swear. A lot. Listener discretion advised.

Key Takeaways:

Concert energy is EVERYTHING—if the crowd’s dead, so is the show.
Sitting at concerts? Controversial. Front-row sitters = public enemy #1.
Jam bands: spiritual journey or glorified elevator music? You decide.
Ticket prices are out of control—blame venues, not just artists.
Tailgating = peak concert culture (and budget strategy…in theory).
Bathroom lines separate the weak from the wildly strategic.
The right concert crew can make or break your entire experience.
Filming the whole show? Congrats, no one will watch it (including you).

Links:

Visit www.judgingthingspod.com for show links.

Leave us a review and share with your friends!

Got a question for us or a topic we should judge? Email us at judgingthingspod@gmail.com.

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Hosts/Producers/Editors: Jeanne Hafner, Jessica Griffith, & Joanna Hafner

Original Music by Lundstroem

Judging Weird Toys

Wed, 15 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0400

In this episode of Judging Things Podcast, we dive headfirst into the chaotic world of weird toys—from nightmare-fuel Furbies to high-maintenance Tamagotchis and the inexplicably iconic troll dolls. Expect unfiltered nostalgia, cursed toy lore, and one VERY questionable Furby awakening. If you’ve ever wondered why ‘90s toys felt alive (and slightly possessed), this episode delivers laughs, trauma, and a side of “why did our parents allow this?” Perfect for fans of retro toys, bizarre trends, and comedy podcasts that don’t take anything seriously.

P.S. We swear. A lot. Listener discretion advised.

Key Takeaways:

Furbies weren’t toys—they were emotional support demons with batteries.
Tamagotchis taught us responsibility… then immediately overwhelmed us with 20 needy pixel babies.
Troll dolls: zero function, 100% chaotic good (plus questionable fashion choices).
‘90s toy trends = interactive, addictive, and mildly threatening.
Parents in the ‘90s really said, “Yeah, this creepy blinking thing seems fine.”
If it talks, moves, or has a cassette deck… maybe don’t trust it.

Links:

Visit www.judgingthingspod.com for show links.

Leave us a review and share with your friends!

Got a question for us or a topic we should judge? Email us at judgingthingspod@gmail.com.

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Hosts/Producers/Editors: Jeanne Hafner, Jessica Griffith, & Joanna Hafner

Original Music by Lundstroem

Judging Bingo

Wed, 08 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0400

This week, we’re diving headfirst into the chaotic, snack-filled, emotionally volatile world of Bingo. From its humble beginnings as Beano to full-blown party events like Bingo Loco, we cover it all—and judge it hard.

Expect passionate rants about bingo table strategy, lucky tchotchkes, and the social hierarchy of bingo halls—where vibes matter, snacks are currency, and winning twice makes you public enemy #1.

Whether you’re a seasoned bingo queen, a casual dabbler, or someone who just enjoys judging strangers for yelling “BINGO” prematurely, this episode delivers laugh-out-loud commentary on everything from bingo lingo and gameplay tactics to the emotional rollercoaster of almost winning.

P.S. We swear. A lot. Listener discretion advised.

Key Takeaways:

Bingo is NOT just for grandmas anymore.
From Drag Bingo to Bingo Loco, this game has evolved into a full-on social event.
Your bingo setup says everything about you.
Troll dolls, crystals, Buddha statues—Lucky charms are serious business.
The bingo caller can make or break your night.
Premature bingo = public humiliation
Winning twice is a personality flaw.
Win once? Congrats. Twice? Suspicious. Three times? We’re launching an investigation.
Pizza is chaos. Grazing boards are elite. Monitor risers? Game-changing innovation.
Bingo lingo is unhinged and we love it

Links:

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Got a question for us or a topic we should judge? Email us at judgingthingspod@gmail.com.

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Hosts/Producers/Editors: Jeanne Hafner, Jessica Griffith, & Joanna Hafner

Original Music by Lundstroem

Judging Easter Candy

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0400

In this sugar-fueled episode of Judging Things, we dive headfirst into the chaotic, colorful world of Easter candy—and nothing is safe from judgment. From Cadbury Creme Eggs getting borderline inappropriate attention to Peeps sparking full-blown outrage, this episode is basically a candy-coated roast session.

Along the way, debate solid vs. hollow chocolate bunnies like it’s a personality trait, discuss which candies are the scraps of the Easter basket, and discover that maybe… just maybe… jelly beans aren’t total trash (jury’s still out).

Expect hot takes, unhinged tangents, and a full-on sugar crash by the end. It’s messy, hilarious, and deeply relatable if you’ve ever judged candy way too seriously.

P.S. We swear. A lot. Listener discretion advised.

Key Takeaways:

Peeps are wildly divisive: You either love their sugary marshmallow chaos or you don’t. There is no middle ground.
Cadbury Creme Eggs = too much, but also… not enough?
Jelly beans are the ultimate underdog (or villain): Smell great, look cute, but they’re giving “leftover basket filler energy.”
Chocolate bunnies are a personality test: Team Solid = chaos and commitment. Team Hollow = fun, practical, and less jaw risk.
Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs quietly run Easter: Sneaking in during the 90s and now dominating like the overachiever of seasonal candy.
Everyone hits a sugar wall eventually.

Links:

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Got a question for us or a topic we should judge? Email us at judgingthingspod@gmail.com.

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Hosts/Producers/Editors: Jeanne Hafner, Jessica Griffith, & Joanna Hafner

Original Music by Lundstroem

Judging Lip Balms

Wed, 25 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0400

Welcome back to Judging Things, where dry lips meet ruthless opinions and absolutely no product is safe. In this episode, the girls dive headfirst into the cutthroat world of lip balm reviews—and yes, things get weird. From the “OG basic” ChapStick to crunchy-girl Burt’s Bees, spicy Carmex, chaotic Starburst-flavored nonsense, and one rogue under-the-boob vet clinic chapstick, no lip moisturizer escapes judgment.

Along the way, the trio uncovers shocking truths (your lips are basically your inside mouth on the outside), debates whether lip balm addiction is real, and discovers that most lip products are basically just petroleum jelly in disguise with a personality problem.

And then—like a smooth, glossy hero—one product absolutely demolishes the competition.

If you’ve ever wondered which lip balm actually works, which ones are secretly sabotaging your lips, and which ones belong straight in the trash… this episode delivers sass, science, and savage takes in equal measure.

P.S. We swear. A lot. Listener discretion advised.

Key Takeaways:

Your lips are high-maintenance drama queens: No oil glands = constant dryness. Your lips need help, and licking them makes things worse. Stop it.
ChapStick is the toxic ex of lip care: Feels good at first, then slowly ruins your life (and your lips). Alcohol + fragrance = dry, irritated chaos.
Burt’s Bees = crunchy illusion of wellness: Smells like peppermint dreams, feels like regret.
Carmex is a sneaky little liar: The pain relief (hello, camphor) masks the damage.
Flavored lip balms: scam wrapped in nostalgia. Your 13yr old self deserved better.
“Addiction” to lip balm is… kinda real: Some products create the problem they claim to solve.
Cheap. Effective. No nonsense. Dermatologist-approved. Vaseline reigns supreme.
Pro tip for elite lip care: Use a humectant (like hyaluronic acid) first, then seal it in with Vaseline. Hydration + protection = chef’s kiss.

Links:

Leave us a review and share with your friends!

Got a question for us or a topic we should judge? Email us at judgingthingspod@gmail.com.

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Hosts/Producers/Editors: Jeanne Hafner, Jessica Griffith, & Joanna Hafner

Original Music by Lundstroem

Judging Board Games

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0400

Gather ‘round the table—because we have thoughts.

In this episode of Judging Things, we roll the dice and judge board games in all their cardboard-and-chaos glory. We talk about the real pain of learning a new game (why is the rulebook 47 pages long?), the different types of players every group inevitably has (you know the one), and the sacred—yet controversial—world of “house rules”.

We dish on the games we love, the games we hate, and the games we haaaate… but somehow keep playing anyway. From wholesome family fun to friendship-ending disasters, no board game is safe from our sassy, funny, and slightly unhinged opinions.

Shuffle the cards, flip the board, and prepare to judge—because game night was never this personal.

P.S. We swear. A lot. Listener discretion advised.

Key Takeaways:

Joanna loves games. Jeanne does not.
There is one game that is banned from Joanna’s house.
Lou Dobb is not a Hungry, Hungry Hippo.
Your therapist friends are probably psychoanalyzing you during gameplay.
Don’t hate the player, don’t hate the game. Hate the poor sap who has to explain the rules.

Links:

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Got a question for us or a topic we should judge? Email us at judgingthingspod@gmail.com.

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Hosts/Producers/Editors: Jeanne Hafner, Jessica Griffith, & Joanna Hafner

Original Music by Lundstroem

Judging Disney Princesses

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0400

Glass slippers? Questionable life choices? Iconic sidekicks? We’re judging it all.

In this episode of Judging Things, we dive headfirst into the wildly popular (and wildly unfair) judgments people love to make about Disney Princesses—and then we add our own, because obviously. From Ariel’s alleged “boy-craziness” to Sleeping Beauty’s impressive commitment to naps, to Snow White’s very questionable trust in strangers, no tiara is safe.

We break down the stereotypes, call out the nonsense, defend the misunderstood, and lovingly roast the rest. Expect sass, laughs, hot takes, and the reminder that growing up in a fairy tale is… complicated.

Grab your mouse ears and prepare to judge—because these princesses have been talked about for decades, and it’s officially our turn.

P.S. We swear. A lot. Listener discretion advised.

Key Takeaways:

Jess is hot for that sexy fox.
We have the hot goss’ about Prince Charming at the ball.
Scuttle is half idiot, half A-hole. Or whole A-hole. It’s still up for debate.
Are princesses being judged for using a prince to escape a terrible situation? Or is that victim blaming?

Links:

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Got a question for us or a topic we should judge? Email us at judgingthingspod@gmail.com.

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Hosts/Producers/Editors: Jeanne Hafner, Jessica Griffith, & Joanna Hafner

Original Music by Lundstroem

Judging Herr's Potato Chips Game Day Flavors

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0400

What happens when two iconic regional flavors go head-to-head in potato chip form — and our taste buds are the referees?

In this episode of Judging Things, we crack open two bold Game Day Flavor potato chips from Herr’s: Carolina Style BBQ Pulled Pork and Philly Cheesesteak. One promises smoky Southern barbecue goodness, while the other attempts to capture the unmistakable taste of Philadelphia’s most famous sandwich… but can a potato chip really pull that off?

We put both flavors to the ultimate test with honest reactions, unexpected opinions, and plenty of laughs along the way. From first impressions and aroma checks to texture debates and flavor surprises, nothing escapes judgment. If you’ve ever wondered whether limited-edition snack flavors live up to the hype (or just love hearing strong opinions about snack food), this episode delivers entertaining verdicts, relatable commentary, and a flavor journey you won’t want to miss. Join us as we dive in, chin to hairline, to wrap our hoagie mouths around these chips.

P.S. We swear. A lot. Listener discretion advised.

Key Takeaways:

The shoddily-researched history of Herr’s.
Not all Philly accents are the same. We’re lookin’ at youse guys, Delco.
Maybe not all flavors need to be a potato chip. Just sayin.
Our hoagie mouths make noises when we eat, and if that grosses you out, consider yourself warned.
We talk a lot about Philadelphia here, but not all episodes will be that kind of jawn, we promise.

Links:

Leave us a review and share with your friends!

Got a question for us or a topic we should judge? Email us at judgingthingspod@gmail.com.

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Hosts/Producers/Editors: Jeanne Hafner, Jessica Griffith, & Joanna Hafner

Original Music by Lundstroem

Judging Things Trailer

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 15:00:00 -0500

Welcome to Judging Things, the podcast where opinions are shared freely, laughter is guaranteed, and absolutely nothing is safe from judgment. Each week, three friends take a topic—whether it’s everyday annoyances, pop culture trends, lifestyle choices, or the little things we all secretly have opinions about—and put it on the stand for a fun, completely unofficial verdict.

We’re not experts and we’re not here to sway your opinion. Our mission is simple: have fun, share honest reactions, and remind everyone that sometimes judging things is just part of being human. Think of it as sitting around with friends, swapping stories, debating the ridiculous, and laughing at ourselves along the way.

Hosted by three women who have lived enough life to have fierce opinions—but know better than to take them too seriously. Judging Things delivers relatable conversations, witty banter, and plenty of moments that will have you saying, “I thought I was the only one!”

No lectures. No arguments. Just playful judgments, real friendship, and a weekly escape from taking life too seriously.

Court is always in session… but the verdict is all in good fun.

Judging Things Podcast

Unqualified opinions. Unnecessary confidence.

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Got a question for us or a topic we should judge? Email us at judgingthingspod@gmail.com.

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