Desi Couch

How we learn about intimacy and honesty from our families

Tue, 23 Jun 2026 14:00:00 -0700

Bollywood can be comforting, funny, and deeply familiar and it can also quietly teach us what a “good” son or daughter is supposed to look like. In today's epsiode Licensed Mental Health Counselor Malika and Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Gitika talk about ways these Bollywood tropes reflect cultural assumptions. We take Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (DDLJ) and the Pretentious Movie Reviews recap as a jumping-off point to talk about South Asian family dynamics that many of us recognise instantly: NRI nostalgia, romanticising India, and the pressure to keep “Indianness” alive through obedience and marriage choices.

From there, we get personal and clinical about what those patterns do to mental health. We unpack fawning and people pleasing as survival skills, the way strict authority can turn dads into household “villains,” and how patriarchy can shrink everyone’s humanity. We also name the lying culture many Desi kids grow up with and why outsiders often misread it: when attachment feels fragile and difference feels dangerous, honesty can cost more than it seems worth.

We talk about the real tension between attachment and authenticity, including why coming out to family can be an act of intimacy that requires safety and support. We also hold an important boundary: if your home is abusive, coercive, or unsafe, the goal is protection, not forced honesty.

If any of this hits close to home, listen through and reflect with us: what parts of yourself did you learn to hide, and what would it take to feel safe being fully known?

Subscribe, share with someone who grew up Desi, and leave a review so more listeners can find these conversations.

Pretentious Movie Review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOZyX3bv2Hc

Netflix show about DDLJ, The Romantics: https://www.cnn.com/style/article/netflix-india-bollywood-the-romantics-intl-hnk

We would love to hear from you! write to us

Thanks for listening! we would love to hear from you, write to us,

Your hosts,

Malika & Gitika

Malika is the Founder of Ik Aas Counseling, know more at https://malikabains.com/

Gitika is the Founder of Pranh Healing & Wellness, know more at https://www.pranhwellness.com/

How immigration changes the way we love and grieve

Mon, 08 Jun 2026 10:00:00 -0700

Grief does not wait for the “right” time and it definitely does not pause just because we move to a new country. We start with a gentle content warning and an important reminder: we’re both mental health professionals, but this is education, not therapy. From there, we follow the thread that so many immigrants know too well, the moment you realize you have to become your own parent, make your own plans, and learn a whole new set of unspoken rules that no sitcom ever prepared you for.

We talk about culture shock in everyday life, why long distance friendships can start to feel strained, and how the time zone gap turns small check-ins into complicated emotional decisions. Then the conversation shifts into something heavier: what happens when people back home die, traditions continue, and you cannot be there for funerals or communal rituals. We explore the unique pain of grieving from abroad, the “vacuum” that can follow, and why the lack of shared mourning can leave your mind and body stuck searching for closure.

We also get practical. We unpack avoidance as a normal grief response, how it can quietly morph into “I don’t like it anymore,” and what helps instead: naming the feeling, sharing in small doses, finding even one person who gets the nuances, and creating personal rituals that honor the person you lost. If any part of this resonates, listen, share it with someone living far from home, and subscribe, leave a review, or send the episode to a friend who needs language for what they’re carrying.

We would love to hear from you! write to us

Thanks for listening! we would love to hear from you, write to us,

Your hosts,

Malika & Gitika

Malika is the Founder of Ik Aas Counseling, know more at https://malikabains.com/

Gitika is the Founder of Pranh Healing & Wellness, know more at https://www.pranhwellness.com/

May These Words Matter: Reflecting on the wisdom of Dr Gabor Mate

Mon, 01 Jun 2026 10:00:00 -0700

Malika and Gitika walked into Dr. Gabor Maté’s live lecture expecting insight but we got so much more than that! There’s something disarming about the way Dr Maté’ connects the personal to the political, the clinical to the everyday, and the mind to the body without splitting them into separate boxes. If you’ve ever felt your emotions living in your skin, your stomach, your jaw, or your fatigue, this conversation is for you.

We talk through the lines we can’t stop thinking about, starting with his blunt correction: the mind and body are not “connected” because they are one. From there, we explore what it means when the immune system and the emotional system are both trying to protect us, and how anger, suppression, and chronic stress can show up as inflammation, autoimmune issues, and other stress related illness. We also reflect on The Myth Of Normal and the cultural obsession with praising people who are endlessly calm, self sacrificing, and “no trouble” and why that story can quietly train us to abandon ourselves.

We zoom out to the systems level too. Healthcare is political, and medicine can follow ideology instead of science, affecting outcomes across race, gender, and community. We connect this to South Asian health and cardiovascular risk, the problems with size based assumptions, and why better care starts with better questions about stress, trauma, and support. And we end with the concept that hit us hardest: in a fight between attachment and authenticity, attachment often wins, until we learn to notice the pattern and choose differently.

If this resonates, subscribe, share the show with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find this corner of the circle.

We would love to hear from you! write to us

Thanks for listening! we would love to hear from you, write to us,

Your hosts,

Malika & Gitika

Malika is the Founder of Ik Aas Counseling, know more at https://malikabains.com/

Gitika is the Founder of Pranh Healing & Wellness, know more at https://www.pranhwellness.com/

Immigrant Anxiety In The Therapy Room

Mon, 25 May 2026 10:00:00 -0700

Immigration fear can take over your whole nervous system even when you’ve “done everything right.” Today we talk honestly about that reality from both sides of the couch: as therapists and as first-generation immigrants navigating the same headlines, policy shifts, and threat-to-belonging that our clients bring into session.

We dig into the mental health patterns that show up under immigration stress: hypervigilance, news spirals, anger, helplessness, and the grief that resurfaces years after your own paperwork is settled. We also unpack why certain phrases sting so much, like calling immigrant panic an “overcorrection,” and why “just go back” ignores the truth that many of us have two homes and a deep desire to live life on our own terms. Along the way, we name the complicated mix of privilege and reversibility, and how guilt can push people into silence instead of connection.

From a clinical lens, we share ways to support immigrants without pathologising survival. That includes reflective listening, carefully chosen language, and distress tolerance skills offered with compassion. We also explore community as a protective factor: solidarity across different immigration statuses, signaling safety, and the lighthouse metaphor for becoming a steady presence when the world feels chaotic. The takeaway we keep returning to is simple and hard: immigrant life is not just paperwork, and we deserve space for both pain and joy.

If this resonates, subscribe, share the show with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people searching for immigrant mental health support and therapy for immigrants can find us.

Notes: A 1-hour workshop about Immigration and Mental Health led by Gitika: https://pacificnorthwestces.com/on-demand-ces-and-passes/ols/products/1-ce-cultural-awarenesscompetency-leaving-home-to-come-home-immigration-and-mental-health-with-gitika-dr-g-talwar-phd-recorded-july-2025-nasw-conf-19-25-159

A 3-hr workshop about Immigration and Mental Health led by Gitika:

https://www.constantedu.com/courses/immigration-and-mental-health-immigration-to-homecoming

We would love to hear from you! write to us

Thanks for listening! we would love to hear from you, write to us,

Your hosts,

Malika & Gitika

Malika is the Founder of Ik Aas Counseling, know more at https://malikabains.com/

Gitika is the Founder of Pranh Healing & Wellness, know more at https://www.pranhwellness.com/

Immigration Trauma And Desi Mental Health

Mon, 18 May 2026 10:00:00 -0700

Immigration can look like forms and visa categories from the outside, but from the inside it often feels like fear, pressure, and a constant negotiation of safety. We’re Gitika and Malika, two Desi mental health professionals living in the U.S., and we get honest about how migration shapes our identities and the way we move through the world. We name what so many people carry quietly: the way your immigration pathway can define your role in the family, your choices at work, and your willingness to speak up when something feels wrong.

We unpack how different routes into the United States create different power dynamics, from employer-tied work visas to family sponsorship and marriage-based status. We also talk about the stories that stay hidden, especially asylum and undocumented experiences, where shame and fear can make even basic trust feel risky. Along the way, we explore why immigrants can live in a persistent survival mindset, how competition gets baked into the system, and what it costs our mental health when we only share the “surface level” version of our journeys.

The thread running through everything is community: what it means to find safe people, to listen without rushing to advise, and to build connection that makes life feel more livable. If you’ve ever felt alone in your immigration anxiety, grief about the past, or uncertainty about the future, we hope this conversation helps you feel less isolated. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find us.

We would love to hear from you! write to us

Thanks for listening! we would love to hear from you, write to us,

Your hosts,

Malika & Gitika

Malika is the Founder of Ik Aas Counseling, know more at https://malikabains.com/

Gitika is the Founder of Pranh Healing & Wellness, know more at https://www.pranhwellness.com/

South Asian Mental Health, Out Loud

Mon, 11 May 2026 10:00:00 -0700

What happens when two South Asian therapists decide that therapy’s four walls aren’t big enough for the conversations our community needs? We built Desi Couch to take healing into the open. In our first recording, we share the immigration paths that shaped us, and the moment we realized that silence—not a lack of suffering—keeps many South Asian families from care.

We dig into what we saw in clinics and group practices: rosters labeled “diverse,” yet often no Indian or South Asian clients. That absence sent us into the community with talks on depression and suicide, and it pushed us toward the mic. We unpack the barriers—shame, confidentiality fears, cost, language, immigration stress—that keep people away, and we talk through a wake-up call around proposing a support group for parents of children who survived sexual abuse. The pain is present; the words are missing. So we start giving language to hard things, without blame.

Our conversation also traces the quieter currents of history. Partition memories show up as stories told in passing and rules about keeping feelings tidy. We look at family systems where one person gets labeled “the problem,” even when their symptoms point to a deeper wound. Throughout, we hold two truths at once: joy and grief, gratitude and longing. That both/and approach becomes a tool for self-compassion and a lens for cultural nuance.

Expect plain speech, cultural fluency, and a safe, non-shaming space. Most of all, we want you with us: listening, questioning, and widening the circle. If you’re South Asian or love someone who is, you’ll find language for what hurts and what heals—and you’ll hear why we believe community is part of the cure.

If this resonates, subscribe, share Desi Couch with a friend, and leave a review to help others find the conversation. Tell us: what silence should we break next?

We would love to hear from you! write to us

Thanks for listening! we would love to hear from you, write to us,

Your hosts,

Malika & Gitika

Malika is the Founder of Ik Aas Counseling, know more at https://malikabains.com/

Gitika is the Founder of Pranh Healing & Wellness, know more at https://www.pranhwellness.com/

Trailer of Desi Couch: The mental health podcast for South Asians across the world

Tue, 05 May 2026 10:00:00 -0700

Hello!!

We are Malika and Gitika, two immigrant licensed mental health professionals in the US, and we invite you to our podcast, Desi Couch!

We created Desi Couch as a cozy, honest space for South Asians across the world who want language for what they have carried for years.

We talk about South Asian mental health through a holistic lens, looking at how family systems, culture, identity, and the body all hold stress and survival. That means we name generational trauma and the patterns it can create, while also celebrating the beauty and resilience that lives in our communities. We sit with the complicated truth that you can love your culture and still question the parts that hurt.

If you have ever wanted a Desi mental health conversation that feels grounded, warm, and real, pull up a seat.

Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us what topic you want us to talk about next.

We would love to hear from you! write to us

Thanks for listening! we would love to hear from you, write to us,

Your hosts,

Malika & Gitika

Malika is the Founder of Ik Aas Counseling, know more at https://malikabains.com/

Gitika is the Founder of Pranh Healing & Wellness, know more at https://www.pranhwellness.com/