Relational Alchemy Fri, 20 Mar 2026 09:05:12 -0400 en-us © 2026 Relational Alchemy yes cc73f944-a45a-513b-b392-ec6719e6852a Lindsey Bourne episodic false Relational Alchemy is a podcast about the relationship patterns we live out — and how those patterns hold the key to our deepest healing. Hosted by relationship coach and somatic practitioner Lindsey Bourne, this podcast explores attachment styles, nervous system healing, emotional triggers, subconscious beliefs, and the protective strategies we develop in response to early relational wounds.


Each week, through personal reflections, conversations with practitioners, and stories of transformation, we examine how patterns like anxious attachment, avoidance, people-pleasing, codependency, shutdown, and self-abandonment show up in our relationships — and how they can be softened, understood, and transformed.


Rooted in trauma-informed, somatic, and attachment-based perspectives, Relational Alchemy offers a grounded, compassionate approach to relational healing. This podcast is for anyone longing for deeper self-awareness, nervous system regulation, and relationships that feel grounded, secure, and meaningful — with themselves and with others.

]]> Buzzsprout (https://www.buzzsprout.com) Lindsey Bourne https://storage.buzzsprout.com/gj9yele7h0o6xt3csjukmf7jxbx1?.jpg Relational Alchemy How Astrology Reveals Your Relationship Patterns How Astrology Reveals Your Relationship Patterns What if astrology wasn’t about predicting your future… but about understanding how you relate?

In this episode, I’m joined by astrologer and one of my closest friends, Isa Nakazawa, to explore astrology as a deeply relational language. Together, we unpack how your birth chart can reveal the patterns, defenses, and inner dynamics that shape your relationships.

We talk about the overlap between astrology and psychology, how both systems map the human psyche, and how they can help us transform the parts of ourselves that feel stuck, reactive, or hard to love.

This conversation is about moving out of shame and into curiosity… and using both astrology and psychology as tools for real relational change.

In this episode, we explore:

  • Astrology as a map of the psyche, not a personality label
  • How your birth chart reveals relationship patterns and contradictions
  • The role of the moon in understanding emotional needs and attachment
  • Why we attract certain partners and repeat familiar dynamics
  • How to work with patterns without falling into victimhood or fate-based thinking
  • The difference between using astrology for awareness vs. enabling patterns
  • Shadow and gifts across the modalities: cardinal, fixed, and mutable signs
  • How relationships act as mirrors for growth and integration
  • How the things that remain unconscious in us get externalized as fate (C. Jung)

Key takeaways:

  • Your birth chart doesn’t define you, it reveals the different energies within you
  • Every pattern has both a protective function and a deeper intelligence
  • The parts of ourselves we struggle with often hold our greatest potential
  • The people we’re drawn to aren’t random, they often reflect what wants integration in us
  • Transformation happens through awareness, not shame
  • You don’t need to become everything on your own, relationships are part of the process

If you’re new to astrology, Isa suggests starting with:

  • Your rising sign (ascendant) — how you meet the world
  • Your moon sign — your emotional needs and inner world
  • Your descendant (opposite sign of your rising) — the archetype of what you’re drawn to in relationships/your ideal partner

🎧 About Isa Nakazawa

Isa Nakazawa is an astrologer and host of Stars and Stars with Isa, a podcast where she reads the birth charts of artists and thinkers to explore their purpose, patterns, and path.

Her work blends astrology with cultural, political, and psychological insight, offering a deeply relational and nuanced approach to understanding the self.

🔗 Connect with Isa

Stars and Stars with Isa Podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/72DgOIcC23maJ3rZL9rRQy?si=a11cda227e174a07
https://isanaka.com/
https://www.instagram.com/isanaka/

https://www.tiktok.com/@starsandstarswithisa?lang=en

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWwXrCZWB_g12cCiyjAqI5JpE1knfSVc3

Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> What if astrology wasn’t about predicting your future… but about understanding how you relate?

In this episode, I’m joined by astrologer and one of my closest friends, Isa Nakazawa, to explore astrology as a deeply relational language. Together, we unpack how your birth chart can reveal the patterns, defenses, and inner dynamics that shape your relationships.

We talk about the overlap between astrology and psychology, how both systems map the human psyche, and how they can help us transform the parts of ourselves that feel stuck, reactive, or hard to love.

This conversation is about moving out of shame and into curiosity… and using both astrology and psychology as tools for real relational change.

In this episode, we explore:

  • Astrology as a map of the psyche, not a personality label
  • How your birth chart reveals relationship patterns and contradictions
  • The role of the moon in understanding emotional needs and attachment
  • Why we attract certain partners and repeat familiar dynamics
  • How to work with patterns without falling into victimhood or fate-based thinking
  • The difference between using astrology for awareness vs. enabling patterns
  • Shadow and gifts across the modalities: cardinal, fixed, and mutable signs
  • How relationships act as mirrors for growth and integration
  • How the things that remain unconscious in us get externalized as fate (C. Jung)

Key takeaways:

  • Your birth chart doesn’t define you, it reveals the different energies within you
  • Every pattern has both a protective function and a deeper intelligence
  • The parts of ourselves we struggle with often hold our greatest potential
  • The people we’re drawn to aren’t random, they often reflect what wants integration in us
  • Transformation happens through awareness, not shame
  • You don’t need to become everything on your own, relationships are part of the process

If you’re new to astrology, Isa suggests starting with:

  • Your rising sign (ascendant) — how you meet the world
  • Your moon sign — your emotional needs and inner world
  • Your descendant (opposite sign of your rising) — the archetype of what you’re drawn to in relationships/your ideal partner

🎧 About Isa Nakazawa

Isa Nakazawa is an astrologer and host of Stars and Stars with Isa, a podcast where she reads the birth charts of artists and thinkers to explore their purpose, patterns, and path.

Her work blends astrology with cultural, political, and psychological insight, offering a deeply relational and nuanced approach to understanding the self.

🔗 Connect with Isa

Stars and Stars with Isa Podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/72DgOIcC23maJ3rZL9rRQy?si=a11cda227e174a07
https://isanaka.com/
https://www.instagram.com/isanaka/

https://www.tiktok.com/@starsandstarswithisa?lang=en

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWwXrCZWB_g12cCiyjAqI5JpE1knfSVc3

Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> Buzzsprout-18876896 Fri, 20 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0700 5249 1 5 full false Transforming the Shame Triangle with Jessica Fern and David Cooley Transforming the Shame Triangle with Jessica Fern and David Cooley In this episode we explore:

  • What the shame triangle is and how it shapes the way people experience themselves and their relationships
  •  The difference between the inner critic, the shame part, and the protective escape strategies that follow
  •  Why shame is often one of the biggest obstacles to healing, accountability, and repair
  •  How perfectionism, people-pleasing, shutdown, projection, and conflict avoidance can all be protective responses
  •  The connection between shame, anger, attachment wounds, and nervous system dysregulation
  •  What self-energy is and why it is so essential in healing relational patterns
  •  How the shame triangle can begin to transform into self-love, inner coaching, and deeper internal safety

We talk about how shame quietly drives so many of the patterns people struggle with in relationships, from defensiveness and reactivity to collapse, avoidance, and disconnection, and how learning to relate to these patterns with more awareness, compassion, and curiosity can create real transformation.

This conversation is an invitation to understand the parts of you that formed in response to pain, reconnect with the deeper wisdom of your system, and begin creating more presence, repair, and authentic connection in your relationships.

About Jessica Fern: Jessica Fern is a certified clinical trauma professional, trained Internal Family Systems practitioner, and the internationally recognized author of Polysecure, Polywise, and Transforming the Shame Triangle, which she co-wrote with David Cooley. Her work helps individuals, couples, and multi-partner relationships break free from reactive patterns, insecure attachment, cultural conditioning, and past trauma so they can embody new possibilities in life and love.

About David Cooley: David Cooley is a professional restorative justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, bilingual cultural broker, and the creator of the Restorative Relationship Conversations model. In his private practice, he specializes in working with non-monogamous and LGBTQ partnerships, integrating trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices, narrative therapy, and mindfulness-based techniques to support deeper connection, intimacy, and repair.

Connect with Jessica
https://jessicafern.com/

https://www.instagram.com/jessicafern411/

Connect with David
https://restorativerelationship.com/

https://www.instagram.com/rrconversations/

Learn more about The Azurite Way
https://www.instagram.com/azuriteway/

https://www.theazuriteway.com/


Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> In this episode we explore:

  • What the shame triangle is and how it shapes the way people experience themselves and their relationships
  •  The difference between the inner critic, the shame part, and the protective escape strategies that follow
  •  Why shame is often one of the biggest obstacles to healing, accountability, and repair
  •  How perfectionism, people-pleasing, shutdown, projection, and conflict avoidance can all be protective responses
  •  The connection between shame, anger, attachment wounds, and nervous system dysregulation
  •  What self-energy is and why it is so essential in healing relational patterns
  •  How the shame triangle can begin to transform into self-love, inner coaching, and deeper internal safety

We talk about how shame quietly drives so many of the patterns people struggle with in relationships, from defensiveness and reactivity to collapse, avoidance, and disconnection, and how learning to relate to these patterns with more awareness, compassion, and curiosity can create real transformation.

This conversation is an invitation to understand the parts of you that formed in response to pain, reconnect with the deeper wisdom of your system, and begin creating more presence, repair, and authentic connection in your relationships.

About Jessica Fern: Jessica Fern is a certified clinical trauma professional, trained Internal Family Systems practitioner, and the internationally recognized author of Polysecure, Polywise, and Transforming the Shame Triangle, which she co-wrote with David Cooley. Her work helps individuals, couples, and multi-partner relationships break free from reactive patterns, insecure attachment, cultural conditioning, and past trauma so they can embody new possibilities in life and love.

About David Cooley: David Cooley is a professional restorative justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, bilingual cultural broker, and the creator of the Restorative Relationship Conversations model. In his private practice, he specializes in working with non-monogamous and LGBTQ partnerships, integrating trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices, narrative therapy, and mindfulness-based techniques to support deeper connection, intimacy, and repair.

Connect with Jessica
https://jessicafern.com/

https://www.instagram.com/jessicafern411/

Connect with David
https://restorativerelationship.com/

https://www.instagram.com/rrconversations/

Learn more about The Azurite Way
https://www.instagram.com/azuriteway/

https://www.theazuriteway.com/


Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> Buzzsprout-18825696 Wed, 11 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0700 3432 1 4 full false Healing Your Nervous System So Love Stops Feeling Like Survival Healing Your Nervous System So Love Stops Feeling Like Survival In this episode we explore:

  • The difference between regulating your nervous system and actually healing it
  •  How attachment wounds drive anxiety, control, and conflict in relationships
  •  Why triggers are invitations to tend to your own body instead of reacting outward
  •  The hidden ways control shows up in dating, communication, and expectations
  •  How the “not enough” wound shapes rejection, abandonment fears, and self-worth
  •  What it takes to feel safe with uncertainty in love and intimacy

We talk about how fear, control, and old relational patterns quietly run your relationships, and how learning to create internal safety changes the way you experience dating, conflict, connection, and so much more.

This conversation is an invitation to stop seeking safety outside of yourself and start allowing your relationships to transform you from the inside out.

About Yarrow Kae: Yarrow is spiritual and leadership mentor, clinically trained therapist, nervous system genius, and master of energtics. She specializes in 

Connect with Yarrow

https://www.instagram.com/yarrowkae/

https://www.youtube.com/@yarrowkaeway

The Yarrow Kae Way podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4mtglXAacOs0BnZ4YFl0J7?si=5e8e7fdda3034afb

Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> In this episode we explore:

  • The difference between regulating your nervous system and actually healing it
  •  How attachment wounds drive anxiety, control, and conflict in relationships
  •  Why triggers are invitations to tend to your own body instead of reacting outward
  •  The hidden ways control shows up in dating, communication, and expectations
  •  How the “not enough” wound shapes rejection, abandonment fears, and self-worth
  •  What it takes to feel safe with uncertainty in love and intimacy

We talk about how fear, control, and old relational patterns quietly run your relationships, and how learning to create internal safety changes the way you experience dating, conflict, connection, and so much more.

This conversation is an invitation to stop seeking safety outside of yourself and start allowing your relationships to transform you from the inside out.

About Yarrow Kae: Yarrow is spiritual and leadership mentor, clinically trained therapist, nervous system genius, and master of energtics. She specializes in 

Connect with Yarrow

https://www.instagram.com/yarrowkae/

https://www.youtube.com/@yarrowkaeway

The Yarrow Kae Way podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4mtglXAacOs0BnZ4YFl0J7?si=5e8e7fdda3034afb

Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> Buzzsprout-18742471 Wed, 25 Feb 2026 12:00:00 -0800 3578 1 3 full false From Performance to Presence: How Relationship Patterns Shape Your Work Life From Performance to Presence: How Relationship Patterns Shape Your Work Life In this episode we explore:

• Why your relationship patterns don’t disappear when you walk into work
 • The difference between internal authority and outsourcing validation
 • How triggers at work mirror childhood and attachment wounds
 • The hidden cost of perfectionism, people pleasing, and over-functioning
 • Why your nervous system recreates familiar stress and rejection
 • The link between self-image, success, money, and romantic relationships
 • How to use activation as a portal back to self instead of reacting
 • A practical framework to shift from performance to presence

Ally shares practical ways to work with triggers in real time, rewire subconscious beliefs, and shift from external validation to internal authority, both in leadership and in life.

This conversation is a powerful reminder that healing your patterns in one area transforms every area.

About Ally Erickson: Ally is a leadership mentor who helps high-performing leaders move from performance to presence. Her work focuses on identity, intuition, and self-trust as the foundation of real authority.

Connect with Ally

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/allyerickson/

Podcast "Who Does She Think She Is?"

https://open.spotify.com/show/0teRgNJRNe7z1KqNV7EADg?si=42107f4b24a543dd

Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> In this episode we explore:

• Why your relationship patterns don’t disappear when you walk into work
 • The difference between internal authority and outsourcing validation
 • How triggers at work mirror childhood and attachment wounds
 • The hidden cost of perfectionism, people pleasing, and over-functioning
 • Why your nervous system recreates familiar stress and rejection
 • The link between self-image, success, money, and romantic relationships
 • How to use activation as a portal back to self instead of reacting
 • A practical framework to shift from performance to presence

Ally shares practical ways to work with triggers in real time, rewire subconscious beliefs, and shift from external validation to internal authority, both in leadership and in life.

This conversation is a powerful reminder that healing your patterns in one area transforms every area.

About Ally Erickson: Ally is a leadership mentor who helps high-performing leaders move from performance to presence. Her work focuses on identity, intuition, and self-trust as the foundation of real authority.

Connect with Ally

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/allyerickson/

Podcast "Who Does She Think She Is?"

https://open.spotify.com/show/0teRgNJRNe7z1KqNV7EADg?si=42107f4b24a543dd

Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> Buzzsprout-18700562 Wed, 18 Feb 2026 16:00:00 -0800 3404 1 2 full false Common Patterns In Relationships & How to Alchemize Them for Your Highest Growth Common Patterns In Relationships & How to Alchemize Them for Your Highest Growth In this episode we explore:

• Why surface conflicts are never the real issue
• The shared wound underneath couples fights
• How survival mode shapes attraction patterns
• Projection and inner child triggers in relationships
• A practical way to spot and shift your relational cycles

About Rachel Kelly: Rachel helps people to rewire their nervous systems out of survival mode and build secure attachment. She is obsessed with helping you feel your feelings, build internal safety and create a life beyond your wildest dreams!

Connect with Rachel
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel_kelly_coaching/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rachelkellycoaching?_r=1&_t=ZT-939h1jQNgDu

Website: https://rachel-kelly.mykajabi.com/

Powerfully Single Program: https://welcome.rachel-kelly-coaching.com/powerfully-single

Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> In this episode we explore:

• Why surface conflicts are never the real issue
• The shared wound underneath couples fights
• How survival mode shapes attraction patterns
• Projection and inner child triggers in relationships
• A practical way to spot and shift your relational cycles

About Rachel Kelly: Rachel helps people to rewire their nervous systems out of survival mode and build secure attachment. She is obsessed with helping you feel your feelings, build internal safety and create a life beyond your wildest dreams!

Connect with Rachel
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel_kelly_coaching/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rachelkellycoaching?_r=1&_t=ZT-939h1jQNgDu

Website: https://rachel-kelly.mykajabi.com/

Powerfully Single Program: https://welcome.rachel-kelly-coaching.com/powerfully-single

Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> Lindsey Bourne Buzzsprout-18612210 Tue, 03 Feb 2026 07:00:00 -0800 3214 1 1 full false Relational Alchemy Relational Alchemy Have you ever felt frustrated, or even hopeless, about the patterns you see playing out in your life or relationships?

Have you wondered why the same dynamics keep repeating, even when you’re doing the work or desire change?

Relational Alchemy is a podcast about the patterns we live out in love and connection. It explores how our relationships with ourselves and with others reveal the deeper forces shaping our lives. Hosted by Relationship/Couples Coach and somatic practitioner Lindsey Bourne, this podcast invites listeners into conversations about attachment, nervous system healing, and the everyday moments that become the basis for our greatest transformations and portals back to the most tender parts of ourselves.

Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> Have you ever felt frustrated, or even hopeless, about the patterns you see playing out in your life or relationships?

Have you wondered why the same dynamics keep repeating, even when you’re doing the work or desire change?

Relational Alchemy is a podcast about the patterns we live out in love and connection. It explores how our relationships with ourselves and with others reveal the deeper forces shaping our lives. Hosted by Relationship/Couples Coach and somatic practitioner Lindsey Bourne, this podcast invites listeners into conversations about attachment, nervous system healing, and the everyday moments that become the basis for our greatest transformations and portals back to the most tender parts of ourselves.

Connect with Lindsey
www.lindseybournecoaching.com

Free consultation (for couples & individuals): https://calendly.com/lbourne2/discovery-call?back=1&month=2025-07

Free guide, Breaking the Pattern: https://www.lindseybournecoaching.com/breaking-the-cycle

If this episode resonated, subscribe, and/or leave a review to help the podcast reach more listeners! <3

]]> Lindsey Bourne Buzzsprout-18495052 Mon, 12 Jan 2026 10:00:00 -0800 184 1 trailer false