In this 6th episode of Chocolate Psychology, Dr. Tricia shares a personal insight that helps her cope with the frustration of waiting. Waiting is especially frustrating when we are forced to wait without understanding the rationale or potential outcome for the delay in execution. Yet, viewing waiting as a potential silent process that can generate better outcomes offers a different perspective that can help us cope with the energy drain of the wait.

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In this 5th episode of Chocolate Psychology, Dr. Tricia describes her decision to adjust the volume during a period of life that was excessively overstimulating and overwhelming. She likens the process to adjusting the volume with an old fashion radio dial, giving herself permission to dial back the noise such that she only attended to critical items.

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In this episode, Dr. Tricia discusses how uncontextualized feedback can make us believe that something is wrong with us. She tells the story of feedback that led her to doubt a way of thinking and communicating that is an asset in some settings and a detriment in others. When we can take feedback and discern which people or situations it applies to, as well as where it doesn't apply--we are more able to use the information as a tool rather than automatically believing that something is wrong with us.

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This episode of Chocolate Psychology explores a common tension that arises when people strive to excel in multiple areas. Limits on time and energy decrease the likelihood of perfection, and choosing to grow instead of staying small means that we will inevitably make mistakes. The upside is that focusing on investing in multiple areas of our lives creates a richer tapestry, yielding fewer regrets and increased life satisfaction as we age.

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When we've been in difficult work situations or relationships, we're often left with emotional dents. It's difficult for these scars to heal, even when we logically understand that the new situation or relationship is different. A "corrective emotional experience" is a term from clinical psychology that conceptualizes what happens when we engage in a new, positive situation or relationship that helps to heal the emotional scars of previous negative ones.  Dr. Groff provides examples in areas such as people recovering from toxic work environments, finding safe churches, or feeling understood within a business group. This episode can be listened to as a stand-alone episode; it also adds depth and broadens the thought process on developing personal self-confidence, as described in Episode 1. 

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Many people try to increase self-confidence by improving themselves first. The problem with that approach is that a significant portion of our personal self-confidence is influenced by the reactions of those around us. For those of us who have been rejected in the past, we tend to hold back from showing or disclosing our more polarizing edges. The problem with this approach is that it leaves us with this question: "If they know who I really am, will they still like me?"

One way to increase self-confidence is by gradually revealing the parts of ourselves that we normally hide. We need to be judicious and choose people who are kind and open, those who are more likely to accept us without judgment. As we do so, we'll find that many people like us for exactly who we are. They may even see our flaws and still love us. It's not fast, and it's not easy, but this is the way we heal old wounds and develop a group of people that helps us feel like we belong. It is in the belonging and feeling fully valued that our self-confidence can grow.

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