Inheritance, legacy, and values transfer are on everyone’s minds, but families keep waiting for the perfect moment, and it rarely comes.

In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) chats with Emily Harper and Jessica Gibbs of Monument Wealth. Together, they tackle the universal anxiety around initiating wealth conversations, the myth of the “right time", and what really holds families (and advisors) back.

The podcast explores why these conversations are so emotionally loaded, what parents and rising gen actually want from each other, and how advisors can move beyond legal documents to foster trust and clarity. They dig into sibling dynamics, the realities of wealth and "spoiling", and the practical ways to lead with curiosity instead of statements. Emily and Jessica share their perspectives from the front lines, including why doing nothing is usually the worst plan and why the advisor’s role is so much bigger than portfolio management.

If you advise families facing a generational transition or are one yourself, this episode will change how you think about timing, trust, and what really builds legacy.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode

• 00:00 Why families hesitate to start money conversations, and the stakes of waiting too long
• 02:28 How visibility of wealth shapes unspoken questions and assumptions in rising gen
• 04:41 The difference between transferring dollars and transferring values
• 06:03 The internal roadblocks parents face: loss of control, mortality, and fear of spoiling
• 08:16 Why intentions and expectations matter more than legal documents for heirs
• 14:44 How money talk overlaps with other “taboo” family topics — and what makes it uniquely hard
• 17:49 Why “doing nothing” rarely helps, and how storytelling can lower the stakes
• 22:31 Practical strategies for advisors when clients resist: making the case, starting small
• 23:41 Navigating sibling dynamics and maintaining family continuity across branches
• 30:50 Why advisor-facilitated continuity matters for multi-generational legacy
• 34:58 Tips for advisors: Start small, leverage values, and use existing tools to deepen family conversations
• 39:02 How families can lead with strengths—not just fix deficiencies—when starting communication journeys

Notable Quotes

“Because this is such an emotional conversation and people put so much weight behind it, they delay having conversations because they want the perfect moment... Those moments might not present themselves.” Emily Harper

“So even if it’s not perfect, you should absolutely be having conversations. They don’t have to be a big major conversation. It can be as simple as you’re all on a beach trip together and you ask mom and dad, hey, I remember X, Y, and Z about growing up when you were running your business.” Emily Harper

“There’s a lot of really important things that need to be talked about along the way that people just don’t know how to have that conversation sometimes. They don’t know how to start.” Emily Harper

“A family is not just just your nuclear family that you started with. There’s a lot of people who start to come on board along the way who have different communication styles, different experiences with money.” Emily Harper

“I think the rising generation is really craving to understand what are your expectations and your intentions when it comes to your estate plan, because... those are the intangible things that are really hard to glean from a legal document.” Jessica Gibbs

“If you are not having these conversations with your kids, they don’t know where they’re going. They’re guessing, they’re coming up with things on the fly based on their own experience or what they’ve seen... and that’s not necessarily a perfect alignment with what you would want.” Jessica Gibbs

“You can’t read someone else’s mind, you know, right? That’s one of the basics of, you know, couples therapy, right? That you can’t guess what someone else is thinking.” Jessica Gibbs

“Bringing in your siblings to the conversation is going to be a challenge, but it’s such an important one to do while everyone is healthy.” Jessica Gibbs

Resources

• Total Family (https://www.totalfamily.io/)
• Monument Wealth (https://monumentwealthmanagement.com/)
• Between Sips Podcast (by Emily Harper & Jessica Gibbs) (https://monumentwealthmanagement.com/resources/podcasts/)

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On this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) features Dr Robyn Fivush, psychologist at Emory University and co-creator of the influential Do You Know Scale. Dr Fivush’s decades of research reveal that family stories, shared at the dinner table or on the way to hockey, are a stronger predictor of a child’s resilience than income or education.

Alex and Dr Fivush explore what actually happens around family dinner tables, untangling myths about “storytelling families", the real power of intergenerational narratives, and why it’s rarely about a perfectly curated book or completing a questionnaire. Instead, it’s about how stories are shared, who tells them, and when the messy and the meaningful surface. The conversation also dives into oscillating family narratives (not just rags-to-riches), the evolving role of vulnerability, and what today’s advisors must know to support families beyond balance sheets.

Advisors will leave this episode with a new lens for legacy—and practical steps to help families connect, cope, and thrive.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• 00:00 Why sharing both failures and successes is essential for multi-generational resilience
• 00:39 The origins of the Do You Know Scale and what family dinner conversations predict about well-being
• 05:28 How intergenerational stories shape a child's ability to cope—with data from major life events like 9/11 and Covid-19
• 12:13 Why timing and authenticity matter more than “perfect” storytelling (and how to match stories to developmental stages)
• 21:46 How family stories are actually transmitted—not in epic retellings, but in everyday, unscripted exchanges
• 28:42 The three core types of family narratives—ascending, descending, oscillating—and why oscillating stories build the most resilience
• 40:10 Why women often play the role of family historian, and what this means for continuity, connection, and advisor relationships
• 42:49 Practical advice for advisors: how to help families share meaningful stories, foster vulnerability, and deepen legacy

Notable Quotes from Robyn Fivush

"Being vulnerable and talking about your failures as well as your successes is going to be really critical for the next generations to understand what goes into maintaining wealth."

"Intergenerational narratives provide models—I get it, I know where you are, I've been in a situation like that."

"It's not knowing facts. The more of these stories you know, the more you come from a family that tells stories on a regular basis."

"The oscillating story is a story of resilience. We face challenges, but we overcame... There’s always challenges, there’s always resources to help you build the resilience to overcome."

"Stories are not always told in their entirety at a sitting. They come up in bits and pieces, as it makes conversational sense."

Resources

• Do You Know Scale and Research by Dr. Robyn Fivush and Marshall Duke (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-stories-of-our-lives/201611/the-do-you-know-20-questions-about-family-stories)
• Psychology Today - Dr Robyn Fivush’s blog (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/robyn-fivush-phd)
• Storyworthy by Matthew Dicks (https://www.storyworthybook.com/)
• Total Family (https://totalfamily.io/) 

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On this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) sits down with Tim Brown, co-founder of Somos22, to unpack the 225-year-old Jeffersonian dinner format and why its architecture for trust-building is more relevant than ever for advisors hoping to matter across generations. Tim shares lessons from hosting over a hundred such gatherings for family offices, revealing how thoughtful curation, powerful questions, and a commitment to true connection can quietly determine financial and relational outcomes among wealthy families.

The conversation invites wealth advisors to reimagine the purpose of client gatherings, moving beyond transactional events to experiences where trust can compound. They explore the mechanics of running an unforgettable dinner: how to structure conversation, manage vulnerability, handle silence, and frame questions that move people past pleasantries and into meaning. Tim and Alex also discuss tension points — including what happens when conversations get “too real", why family dynamics require careful navigation, and how the right question can spark reflection that lasts long after dessert.

Expect practical insights for creating spaces where families (and their advisors) show up as people first — and where “connection capital" is measured by who returns your call when it matters.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• 04:27 The concept of “connection capital” and why high-trust relationships drive family outcomes
• 08:33 Essential elements and rules of a Jeffersonian dinner for advisors — from structure to group norms
• 11:01 Icebreaker questions that foster vulnerability and depth
• 14:26 How to match questions and topics to the makeup of your room (professionals vs. principals, spouses, multi-gen)
• 17:00 Practical logistics: food, venue, timing, seating, and creating the right ambiance
• 19:23 Navigating moments of silence or vulnerability as a moderator
• 23:29 Ideal group sizes — and why too few or too many can backfire
• 32:03 The topics that matter most to ultra-wealthy families (hint: it’s not portfolios or investments)
• 33:09 Special considerations for dinners involving spouses or multiple generations

Notable Quotes from Tim Brown

“The way we define connection capital is the measurable value of high trust relationships. Who trusts your judgment, who will return your call, who shows up when something actually matters.”

“Silence is welcome. There’s no pressure to perform here... We do not learn from experience. We learn from reflecting on experience.”

“You can overwhelm people with too many questions and not give them enough time to kind of catch their breath.”

“If you’re not getting nervous, then you’re not doing it right, I guess. These dinners matter so much to me — you matter so much to me.”

“The output of a Jeffersonian dinner is that people leave trusting each other a lot more, because you’re able to bring in the human element of their lives.”

Resources

• Somos 22 (https://somos22network.com/)
• Total Family (https://totalfamily.io/) 
• YPO Investing Network (https://www.ypo.org)
• Tiger 21 (https://tiger21.com)
• Swexan Hotel, Dallas (https://hotelswexan.com)

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, host Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) welcomes Rich Ryffel, Professor of Finance Practice and Executive Director of Business Leadership at Purdue University, Mitch Daniels School of Business, whose 35-year career offers a rare, long-lens perspective on the financial advice profession. Together, they unpack the anxieties and realities facing advisors as each new wave of technology promises to “replace” them, asking what, if anything, is truly different about the AI era.

This conversation explores the enduring value of quality human relationships, the shifting meaning of “excellence” in advising, and why complexity and trust, not access or product, are now the real differentiators. Rich and Alex also examine lessons from unreasonable hospitality in the restaurant world, the challenge of scaling high-touch service, and what new talent, and especially women, need from the profession as 100,000+ advisors retire in the coming decade.

The stakes are clear: advisors who cling to the old model risk obsolescence, but those willing to focus on authentic relationships, adaptive learning, and well-being can offer families something technology alone cannot.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• 00:00 Why great relationships, not products or platforms, remain the advisor’s defining edge
• 03:08 How past tech disruptions (dot-com, Internet, robos) compare to the current wave of AI
• 07:31 What “excellence” means for advisors in 1995 versus 2026, and what hasn’t changed
• 09:57 Why technical acumen matters more than ever, but empathy and context are irreplaceable
• 13:07 How complexity, not just wealth, has moved center stage for advisor value
• 24:34 What wealth advisors can learn from “unreasonable hospitality” in dining, and pitfalls to avoid when scaling it
• 35:17 The SUSUFU principle: set up, show up, and follow up, why urgency and reliability set you apart
• 42:22 What the looming wave of advisor retirements means for the next generation of talent, and especially for female advisors

Notable Quotes from Rich Ryffel

“The excellent advisors have great relationships, always have, always will have.”

“The IQ piece of the business is a race to the bottom. Empathy and trust are where advisors make a difference.”

“If you just follow up and act with urgency, you’re ahead of so many people.”

“Think about what problem an advisor is actually solving—not what they used to solve.”

“You help clients sleep better and dream bigger. Most people want a good night’s sleep—not just another account review.”

“It’s not just about being a jack of all trades. Know when to integrate, when to outsource, and where you uniquely add value.”

Resources

• Setting the Table by Danny Meyer (https://www.dannymeyer.com/book)
• Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara (https://unreasonablehospitality.com/)
• Investopedia (https://www.investopedia.com/)
• The Modern (NYC, Danny Meyer restaurant) (https://www.themodernnyc.com/)
• Catbird Seat (Nashville restaurant) (https://thecatbirdseat.com/)

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The real risk isn’t lost assets — it’s lost trust and connection that should never have been a single point of failure.

In this episode of Visionary Advisor, hosted by Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family), guests Katie Randall and Lisa Jones of Prime Capital Financial bring decades of experience working with women, couples, and families through life’s hardest transitions. Together, they reveal how most advisory practices are designed for men, ignoring the very clients who will soon control nearly all the money.

This conversation dives into why heirs, especially women, so often walk away and what it takes to build resilience into your practice. You’ll hear candid stories about shifting from jargon to plain language, embracing the “messy middle” of client emotions, and creating an environment where both partners and rising generations truly feel seen.

The discussion covers the communication gap between spouses, the risk of neglecting the unengaged partner, how to facilitate trust even mid-divorce, and actionable ways to elevate family conversations around values and legacy. The message is clear: the future belongs to the advisor who listens deeply, fosters safety, and serves the whole family — not just the one in the room.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• 00:00:18 Why the “widow exodus” is a design problem, not just a retention issue
• 00:01:47 The urgency of adapting your practice as women inherit the majority of wealth
• 00:03:40 How communication patterns differ between men and women — and why it matters
• 00:05:24 Practical ways to foster trust and make space for vulnerability in client meetings
• 00:11:12 Building genuine relationships with both spouses, not just the engaged partner
• 00:13:02 Techniques to defuse money tension between couples and promote active listening
• 00:32:01 Supporting grieving clients — why emotional presence matters more than products
• 00:40:26 The gap between perceived and actual listening among advisors (and how to close it)
• 00:43:14 Why using jargon and “advisor-speak” can alienate clients — and what to do instead
• 00:44:07 How women and men may approach legacy conversations differently

Notable Quotes from Katie Randall and Lisa Jones

“We have to stop putting things in terms of how advisors think and the way that we speak and just really, answer questions and ask questions in a way that clients ask them in, like, a very human way.” — Katie Randall

“Advisors are missing the mark. When there’s a death or a divorce, many times the female spouse will change advisors because she hasn’t felt seen or heard in the relationship.” — Lisa Jones

“We’re professional problem solvers, but first we really have to be professional problem finders.” — Katie Randall

“If you’re not creating space where somebody can cry in your office — and it happens at least once a week — you’re probably not going deep enough.” — Lisa Jones

“They don’t want to know what you know; they want to know that you care.” — Lisa Jones

“If the efficiency frontier and all this stuff is what you’re focused on, you’re missing what matters to clients.” — Katie Randall

Resources

• Total Family (https://www.totalfamily.io)
• Prime Capital (https://primefinanciallisa.com)
• JMP AI (https://jump.ai/)
• YouTube Channel: Katie Randall, CAIA® | Certified Advisor for Women (https://www.youtube.com/@moneymotherlode)
  
  
  

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) sits down with Mat Matthews, Chief Product and Engineering Officer at Advisor360, for a candid conversation about the 2026 Connected Wealth Report and the realities of AI in wealth management. Mat brings a product leader’s clarity to what’s actually changing, what’s just noise, and what matters most for client relationships.

The discussion explores why most advisors use AI daily but rarely talk about it with clients and how this silence can create mistrust instead of confidence. Mat and Alex get practical about where AI is delivering value now, why trust still builds slowly, and how firms are scrambling to keep policies current as technology evolves. They also consider how clients’ own use of AI is raising the stakes for transparency and what it means for advisors to move from data wrangling to truly holistic guidance.

For advisors wrestling with rapid change, compliance pressures, and rising client expectations, this episode offers a grounded look at what it means to serve families well in a new era.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• 04:20 How advisor attitudes about AI have shifted from fear to guarded optimism within a year
• 05:30 Leading AI use cases today, including meeting summaries, CRM, and administrative workflows
• 05:57 Current boundaries around what advisors trust AI to handle, versus what stays human
• 09:13 Why developing clear policies around AI is now essential for your firm
• 20:28 The consequences of not proactively discussing AI with clients, and why avoidance is not neutral
• 25:08 How clients’ growing familiarity with AI affects their advisor relationships
• 29:48 What makes human judgment, empathy, and relationship-building irreplaceable
• 30:22 The expanding role of advisors as generalists managing the full picture of a client’s life, not just investments

Notable Quotes from Mat Matthews

“You’ve got this weird scenario where three quarters of the industry is benefiting from this new technology, but they’re barely mentioning it to the people it’s supposed to serve.”

“When advisors avoid the topic (AI), they’re not creating neutrality. They’re creating a vacuum. And the vacuum is going to get filled by the client.”

“Trust is the product in this industry. It’s not a feature. It is the actual service that’s being provided.”

“I think the firms play a big role in being on the forefront in saying, 'Here's how we’re using AI responsibly to provide you with better outcomes, with the guardrails and the safety controls that we know are important.'"

“If your role is just in data aggregation, to me that’s pretty small… The really good advisors are just going to be helping people with advice.”

Resources

• 2026 Connected Wealth Report, Advisor360
• Advisor360
• There’s An AI For That (daily newsletter)
• Total Family
• AI Tools
  • Claude
  • Google Gemini
  • ChatGPT
  • Perplexity
  • Lovable
• Harvard Business Review - The Future Is Shrouded in an AI Fog

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) is joined by Mark Tepsich, co-author of the UBS Family Enterprise Governance Report. Mark and Alex dive into what governance really looks like for families averaging $2.4 billion in net worth and why many of the biggest lessons apply to families at any asset level. Their conversation goes far beyond documents, highlighting how culture—shared norms and values—shapes both continuity and risk.

They unpack the realities behind family constitutions, non-financial meetings, and family retreats, examining practical ways advisors can help clients strengthen alignment and connection. Mark shares why the highest payoff comes from face-to-face connection, how advisors can get over hesitation to lead these conversations, and why integrating the rising generation early is essential for legacy and trust.

This episode is a guide for advisors ready to see legacy as a lived, evolving process, not just a set of documents. It urges a move from portfolio talk to family engagement and challenges advisors to expand their comfort zone for deeper, longer-lasting relationships.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why the process of creating a family constitution is more valuable than the final document
• How highly intentional families keep governance relevant as family structures shift
• What non-financial family meetings look like—and why most families don’t have them
• Practical approaches for running meetings and retreats that build family connection
• How advisors can facilitate (or encourage) non-financial conversations, even without outside specialists
• The central role of culture, communication, and ongoing review in successful governance
• Why integrating the rising generation early leads to stronger stewardship and trust
• Ways to move beyond “financial capital” to include values, rituals, and family well-being

Notable Quotes from Mark Tepsich

“It all comes down to how are you preparing the next generation to navigate that enterprise. Which is really people-centric.”

“The value add is that process of talking about that stuff, of spending the time and actually memorializing it.”

“You don’t have to have a 400-page family constitution. In fact, I would say you shouldn’t, because you’re not going to know what’s in there.”

“Culture is our shared norms, which is how we do things, and our shared values.”

“If you freeze it, that means you can’t adapt as a family. And there’s one thing about a family since the beginning of time — you need to adapt to the evolving circumstance of your enterprise or the environment of the world around you.”

“There’s a risk in not having that conversation too. The bigger harm is not doing it.”

Resources

• UBS Family Enterprise Governance Report
• UBS Family Advisory and Philanthropy Toolkits
•

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, host Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) welcomes Blake Brewer, founder of the Legacy Letter Challenge, an organization striving to help 1 million people write at least one Legacy Letter. Blake’s story began with a life-changing letter from his father after a sudden loss at age 19. Today, he helps families and advisors shift from intention to action, sharing what makes a letter truly meaningful and how to move past the common barriers that keep most from ever writing one.

Drawing from personal experience and decades of coaching, Blake breaks down the emotional and practical sides of legacy work: the value of apology and vulnerability, why timing matters less than getting started, and how simple frameworks can help families connect and preserve wisdom across generations. At Total Family, we see Legacy Letters as essential to legacy—captured, stored, and shared in our software so they remain accessible and meaningful for years to come.

This episode offers advisors concrete strategies to move legacy planning beyond documents, building deeper trust and lasting impact.

What You’ll Learn

• Why most people never write a legacy letter, and what moves them to act
• How apology and vulnerability can reshape family relationships
• A step-by-step framework for guiding clients through their first letter
• Why starting matters more than timing or format
• How letters build trust and retention across generations after a loss
• Why advisors are best placed to turn legacy into action

Notable Quotes from Blake Brewer

“I can’t imagine my life without this letter. In the coming days and weeks and months, I never experienced more pain and grief in my life. And my life could have gone a lot of different ways... It was the exact opposite.”

“I believe everyone has a legacy letter in their heart, but getting it from your heart to your mind and then to a piece of paper — easier said than done.”

“The stories didn’t match up. And so this legacy letter is about getting the story right, like leaving nothing out. No, this is how I feel about you.”

Resources

• Legacy Letter Challenge
(https://www.legacyletter.com/)

• Total Family
(https://totalfamily.io)

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On this episode of Visionary Advisor, host Alex Kirby (founder, Total Family) is joined by James E. Hughes, who has shaped how the profession thinks about multigenerational wealth. Jay challenges advisors to look past balance sheets, exploring why “wealth” must mean family flourishing, not just the sum of assets.

Together, they tackle the problem of sterile planning versus the lived, dynamic “play” of family life. They examine why words matter, the hidden cost of secrecy around money, and how family meetings can either foster connection or leave heirs disengaged. Hughes’s framework—anchored in the Five Forms of Capital—offers a blueprint for helping families grow in ways that numbers alone can’t capture.

Advisors will come away with a practical lens for running better family meetings, engaging rising generations, and building trust that endures beyond a liquidity event or loss.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why redefining “wealth” as wellbeing transforms your client relationships
• The power of language in legacy work - especially with the rising generation
• What families lose when money is a secret
• How to use stories (even failures) to foster resilience and belonging
• Why most family plans fall short, and how to shift toward “plays”
• Steps for structuring family meetings that actually support human capital

Notable Quotes from James E. Hughes

“The word wealth…meant well-being. It has never meant anything but that.”

“Humans don't live in plans, they live in plays. The problem of plans is they're sterile.”

“The purpose of a meeting, any meeting of a family, is to grow its spiritual, social, intellectual, and human self…”

Resources

• Complete Family Wealth, by James E. Hughes
• Where Are All the Customers' Yachts? 
• Total Family 

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby, founder of Total Family, sits down with Ron Gura, co-founder of Empathy, to explore what happens when grief, finance, and responsibility collide. Ron shares insights from Empathy’s research report, The Grief Tax, which examines the emotional, administrative, and financial burden families face after the death of a loved one — and why these challenges are often inseparable.

The conversation explores why advisors are uniquely positioned to support families during loss, how well-meaning sympathy can fall short, and what it really means to move from condolences to meaningful action. Alex and Ron also unpack the realities facing the “sandwich generation,” the shortcomings of bereavement leave in the U.S., and why proactive legacy planning — letters, values, conversations, and systems — can ease future hardship even when grief can’t be avoided.

This episode challenges advisors to rethink how they show up before and after loss — and how doing so can strengthen trust, continuity, and family relationships across generations.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why grief and financial logistics cannot be separated during moments of loss
• How the advisor’s role shifts from transaction to relationship after a death
• Why heirs may disengage when advisors only show up after a loss occurs
• What the “sandwich generation” is facing as they care for children and aging parents simultaneously
• Why legacy planning must include emotional preparation, not just legal documents
• How proactive systems and conversations can reduce overwhelm when the inevitable happens

Notable Quotes from Ron Gura

“Grief is made harder by logistics, and logistics are made harder by grief.”

“You have to shift from sympathy and condolences to empathy and action.”

“This isn’t a one-and-done moment. This is human, messy, and complicated.”

“If you want your kids to take care of each other and the surviving spouse when you’re gone, you probably need a week, a month, and a bottle of wine to really talk about it.”

“Don’t ask me if I need anything. Tell me what you’re doing to help — and do it.”

Resources

• The Grief Tax: Empathy’s Annual Research Report
 https://www.empathy.com/thegrieftax

 • Empathy
 https://www.empathy.com/

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby, founder of Total Family, sits down with Jennifer Musil, Global President of Custom Research, and Melissa Schweizer, SVP of Financial and Professional Services at The Harris Poll, to unpack findings from America’s Great Wealth Transfer report and a custom legacy study conducted through the lens of the five forms of family capital.

The conversation reveals a powerful shift: while money still matters, the rising generation defines legacy in far more human terms. Well-being, personal development, values alignment, and emotional trust now sit at the center of how heirs think about wealth — and whether they stay with their parents’ advisors or leave.

This episode challenges advisors to rethink how they approach legacy, communication, and relationship-building ahead of the largest intergenerational wealth transfer in history.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why legacy goes beyond financial, with human capital ranking highest in perceived importance
• How younger generations define the purpose of wealth differently than prior generations
• Why values misalignment and weak personal relationships drive advisor switching risk
• What heirs actually want from advisors during and after the wealth transfer
• How communication and collaboration shape trust before money ever changes hands

Notable Quotes

“Legacy goes beyond financial. Human capital rose to the top with 83% saying well-being and development of each family member is a significant contributor to their legacy.”

“This is a story about humans wanting to work with other humans and have a relationship.”

“Even when people have to pick just one, three quarters say something else other than money matters most.”

“Technology can explain the mechanics, but it can’t carry the emotional weight of inheritance.”

Resources

America’s Great Wealth Transfer Report — The Harris Poll
https://theharrispoll.com/insights-news/reports/americas-great-wealth-transfer/

Full Report PDF https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VV152oN7hStk0YItdZ6f6QCjAJdKlM72/view?usp=sharing 

Custom Legacy Study: Perceptions of Legacy Go Beyond Financial — The Harris Poll

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TGhbwsUg-eiHfeU574BeO7f8uCqsKocg/view?usp=sharing

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby talks with Matt Shechtman, CEO of Long Angle, one of the most trusted communities and investment platforms for high net worth families. Long Angle recently released their 2025 High Net Worth Professional Services Report, and the results sparked a wave of conversation for a simple reason: the findings are both measurable and uncomfortable.

From why personal trainers and pool service can outscore wealth management in satisfaction, to why only a minority of respondents use a wealth manager at all, this conversation explores the shifting expectations of younger HNW families and what advisors can do to close the value gap with clearer pricing, better integration, and more human, relationship-driven service.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• What the report reveals about satisfaction across professional services, and why the “pool guy vs. wealth manager” takeaway resonated
 • Why younger HNW clients increasingly optimize for health, family, and time, not just financial returns
• What the $10K-per-year fee conversation is really about, and why transparency and itemization build trust
• Why CPA dissatisfaction is often about proactivity and strategic value, not just responsiveness
• Why many HNW clients self-manage investments, and what advisors must offer beyond investment management to stay relevant

Notable Quotes from Matt Shechtman

“Value is probably the number one takeaway from all of this.”

“When you have something that you can actually see progress on, that really helps in terms of satisfaction.”

“Wealth can be isolating.”

“People are desperate for unbiased advice. There’s a disconnect and a lack of trust.”

Resources

• 2025 High Net Worth Professional Services Report (https://www.longangle.com/research/high-net-worth-professional-services)
 • Long Angle (https://www.longangle.com/)
 • Matt Shechtman (https://www.linkedin.com/in/msheck/)

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby sits down with Robert to explore the lessons inside First Generation Wealth and Balentine’s Family & Legacy Guide — including why legacy is a continuum, why empathy is essential, and why rising-generation perspective matters more than ever. 

With more than 35 years of experience, Robert shares how families can communicate better, avoid “weaponizing money,” and build alignment across the household. He also explains why advisors must lead by example and why failing to engage both spouses puts the entire relationship at risk. 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why legacy is a continuum, modeled through small, intentional actions over time
• Why wealth does not equal legacy — and what actually endures across generations
• Why early, ongoing communication far outperforms end-of-life planning alone
• How empathy, vulnerability, and perspective shape healthier family conversations
• Why alignment between spouses is the cornerstone of lasting multigenerational success

Notable Quotes from Robert Balentine

“Most ultra-high-net-worth investors are worried about things much deeper than money. They’re worried about their legacy.”

“Our happiest clients think about legacy early and communicate it often.”

“Family advising is sacred work.”

“You keep your children closer by giving them space.”

Resources

• Book: First Generation Wealth (https://www.firstgenerationwealth.com)
• Guide: Family & Legacy Guide (https://www.balentine.com/legacy)
• Firm: Balentine (https://www.balentine.com/)
• LinkedIn: Robert Balentine (https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-balentine-8695521a/)

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, David York, attorney, CPA, and Managing Partner at York Howell, joins Alex Kirby to reframe how advisors think about legacy, family leadership, and the true purpose of wealth.

Drawing from his book Entrusted: Building a Legacy That Lasts, David explains why traditional estate planning often fails—not because of poor execution, but because it focuses on assets and taxes rather than values and purpose. He shares how advisors can help clients move from fear-based planning to inspired conversations about meaning, responsibility, and family connection.

From his “flint and kindling” analogy to the lessons of Mayer Rothschild, David shows how families can pass on wisdom, not just wealth—and how advisors can guide that evolution.

Whether you serve $10M families or multi-generational enterprises, this episode challenges you to elevate your role from technician to teacher, from planner to purpose-builder.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why so many clients delay estate planning—not from ignorance, but from lack of inspiration
 • How to move from documents and distributions to dialogue and discovery
 • The “flint and kindling” approach to transferring wisdom and opportunity, not just money
 • How to structure plans that balance rights and responsibilities across generations
 • Three powerful questions every family should answer before they plan
 • Why true legacy requires aligning assets with values—not just minimizing taxes

Notable Quotes from David York:

“Clients aren’t uninformed. They’re uninspired.”
 “Transferring financial resources is transferring the result of your work—the fire is the real asset.”
 “You can’t transfer the cost that comes with wealth. And when you can’t transfer cost, you can’t transfer value.”
 “The best families prepare the next generation for wealth. They don’t just prepare wealth for the next generation.”
 “Does your plan reflect who you are—or just how much tax you saved?”

Resources:

Book: Entrusted: Building a Legacy That Lasts

Website: www.davidryork.com

LinkedIn: David R. York

York Howell: https://www.yorkhowell.com/

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In this episode, Whitney Webb, Managing Director at Cresset and a leading expert in legacy planning, joins Alex Kirby to unpack what’s driving this growing interest in purpose and alignment among ultra-high-net-worth families. 

Drawing on more than a decade of experience helping families prepare for the responsibilities and challenges of wealth transfer, Whitney shares why lasting harmony doesn’t begin with a mission statement—it begins with honest, intentional conversations about what matters most, where families thrive, where they struggle, and how every voice can be heard.

Whether you advise $30M or $3B families, this episode helps you stay ahead of the curve as wealth planning evolves from managing money to fostering meaning.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

 • Why values—not mission statements—are the true foundation of family legacy
 • How advisors can help families slow down, listen deeply, and include every generation
 • The four priorities UHNW families must force-rank to avoid conflict and sustain harmony
 • Why “the process is the point” in family planning and communication
 • How authenticity, vulnerability, and curiosity build trust across generations
 • Why today’s advisors are evolving into educators, facilitators, and mentors

Notable Quotes from Whitney Webb: 

“As wealth grows so rapidly, families are asking deeper questions: What does it all mean? How much is enough? What truly brings fulfillment?”

“You can write a charter or mission statement in a day—but if people don’t see their voices in it, it won’t last.”

“Authenticity and vulnerability are in. Overconfidence is out.”

Article Referenced in This Episode:

Wall Street Journal: Wealthy Families Are Writing Mission Statements to Avoid Fights, Lost Fortunes
https://www.wsj.com/finance/investing/wealthy-family-mission-statements-e08faabd?st=vG2NiP&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

Connect with Whitney Webb:

Email: wwebb@cressetcapital.com

Profile: https://cressetcapital.com/about/team/whitney-webb/

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In this episode, Rachel Hyman, President of Family Wealth Alliance, joins Alex Kirby to bring structure and insight to an increasingly crowded and confusing space. Drawing on FWA’s Voice of the Client Survey, developed with Bain & Company, Rachel shares how elite firms deliver not just functional value, but emotional connection, reduced anxiety, and generational stickiness.

You’ll learn how the best MFOs think about complexity, family dynamics, client expectations, and how to benchmark your own firm using both the Elements of Value and FWA’s 10 multifamily office service areas. Whether you serve $30M or $300M families, this conversation will help you clarify your positioning—and elevate your client experience.

This is a must-listen for advisors looking to deepen relationships, differentiate in the UHNW space, and build a multigenerational practice rooted in purpose and trust.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• The four-part framework that defines a true multifamily office
 • What over 3,000 UHNW clients say they really value in an advisor
 • Why emotional connection and anxiety reduction matter more than performance
 • How “heirloom,” “hope,” and “self-transcendence” show up in wealth advising
 • The 10 service areas that define MFO integration and complexity
 • Why fees ranked near the bottom in importance for ultra-wealthy clients
 • How firms are using this data to improve retention, loyalty, and relevance

 Notable Quotes from Rachel Hyman: 

 “The best firms today are not just managing money. They’re managing complexity.”

 “Reducing client anxiety is the single biggest differentiator in this space.”

 “Emotional value is where you create stickiness. That’s how you build a 50-year relationship.” 

Explore More from Family Wealth Alliance:

 Voice of the Client Survey Toolkit → https://www.familywealthalliance.com/cpages/clientsurveytoolkit

 MFO Standards PDF → https://mcusercontent.com/c242860553fd2c0fef2abbca3/files/357fb0c3-1295-9fc2-4aae-1896ab1f6516/MFO_Standards_Dec_2024_1.pdf

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In this episode, P.V. Narayan, Head of Banking for the Americas at Capgemini, joins Alex Kirby to discuss the firm’s latest World Wealth Report and what it means for the future of advisory relationships.

P.V. outlines why this moment is different from past warnings about wealth transfer—and how firms can position themselves to retain assets, remain relevant, and recruit top talent. Together, they explore the mindsets of rising-gen investors, the digital fluency gap in advisory firms, and the skillset shift advisors must make to thrive in an AI-first era.

This conversation is a must-listen for advisors who want to stay ahead of the curve, meet the expectations of younger clients, and build a multigenerational practice that lasts.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why the $83.5 trillion wealth transfer is finally triggering real change
• What next-gen clients want—and why they’re ready to walk
• The hidden cost of failing to build relationships with heirs and spouses
• Why digital fluency is now a baseline expectation
• How to compete nationally and internationally in a post-geographic advisory world
• What firms must do to attract and retain rising advisor talent
• Why the human element still matters more than ever

Notable Quotes from P.V. Narayan:

“It’s not a matter of if the transfer happens. It’s when. The firms who prepare now will be the ones who thrive.”

“This generation of clients is AI-first. They expect tools, access, and insights—not just advice.”

“Advisors don’t just need new products. They need a new posture—one that says: I understand who you are and what you want.”

Explore the Capgemini 2025 World Wealth Report: https://www.capgemini.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/WWR_2025.pdf

More from Capgemini: https://www.capgemini.com/us-en/insights/

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In this episode, Ken Haman, Managing Director of the AllianceBernstein Advisor Institute (AB AI), shares insights from his white paper, The Emotional Journey of the Ultra-High-Net-Worth Client. He explores the psychological and emotional transitions that shape a client’s evolution — from wealth builder to legacy steward.

Ken explains why many advisors lose relevance during moments of change — especially when a client’s most important question becomes: “What am I missing?” He challenges advisors to see these transitions not as threats, but as opportunities to shift from simply providing answers to truly offering insight.

For advisors looking to elevate their value, deepen trust, and guide clients through complexity, this conversation delivers a powerful framework to rethink how you serve.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why planning and performance alone aren’t enough to retain UHNW clients
• The moments when clients feel emotionally unanchored—and what they need from you
• How to shift your role from technician to guide during liquidity events and life transitions
• The critical difference between offering insight and offering advice
• What to listen for when clients talk about uncertainty, control, and the future

Notable Quotes from Ken Haman

• “The job to be done is always tied to the client’s point of need.”
• “Portfolios will be built by machines. Advisors need to focus on what the machines can’t do.”
• “Your business model should reflect who you want to serve—not just what you want to sell.”

Learn More from Ken Haman

To explore more of Ken’s thinking, subscribe to his podcast: Secrets of Successful Advisors.
Visit the AB Advisor Institute to access more tools, articles, and frameworks.
Read the full white paper discussed in this episode, The Emotional Journey of the UHNW Client.

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, host Alex Kirby, founder and CEO of Total Family, sits down with Cody Barbo, founder and CEO of Trust & Will, to unpack the trends transforming estate planning today. Drawing on fresh research and real-world results—Trust & Will has helped over 200,000 individuals complete estate plans and is trusted by more than 1 million users—Cody shares how generational shifts, technology, and the growing emphasis on values are reshaping how families—and their advisors—approach legacy planning.

From bridging the gap with Gen Z to using tech as a relationship builder (not a replacement), this conversation is packed with insights to help you lead more relevant, human, and lasting estate planning conversations.

Why This Episode Matters for Advisors

• Discover how younger generations are rethinking estate planning—and where advisors fit in
• Learn how technology is making estate planning more accessible without replacing the human touch
• Uncover ways to lead conversations that go beyond assets to include values, lessons, and legacy
• Get practical strategies to engage the next generation before the wealth transfers

Episode Highlights

[5:23]  “Advisors need to step out of their comfort zone.”
Cody shares why proactive estate planning is a massive opportunity for advisors to build deeper, long-term relationships with entire families—especially when most wait to react.

[13:35] “Legacy, to me, is how you made people feel.”
A personal reflection from Cody on what legacy really means—and how advisors can help clients define it beyond financial assets.

[17:25]  “The big nugget that we are all chasing.”
Cody calls out the advisors who prioritize estate planning as a core part of their value—keeping documents current, initiating conversations, and ensuring plans evolve with life.

[23:58]  “Next week turns to next month, and then it’s decades later.”
Procrastination is the #1 obstacle in estate planning. Cody outlines how advisors can help clients overcome inertia by making the process more approachable.

[40:48]  “They have the opportunity to build that trust.”
In moments of crisis or transition, advisors have a rare window to show up for families—and leave a lasting impression that spans generations.

Resources

Explore: Trust & Will – Learn more about their platform and annual research
Read: Trust & Will’s 2024 Estate Planning Report

Trust & Will’s 2025 Estate Planning Report

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Total Family CEO Alex Kirby sits down with Luke Jernagan, Managing Director of Family Learning at Matter Family Office, to explore how the most successful families—and their advisors—build trust through communication. Drawing from his widely shared white paper The Power of Effective Transparency, Luke offers a practical framework for preparing staged trust reveals, navigating difficult conversations, and building a shared family culture rooted in values and purpose.

Whether you serve families with $5M or $500M, you’ll walk away with the language, strategies, and mindset to help clients move from secrecy to strength.

Why This Episode Matters for Advisors

• Learn how to frame transparency as a leadership skill, not a liability
• Hear real-world strategies to support clients through hard conversations
• Understand why secrecy erodes legacy—and what to do about it
• Walk away with practical language and examples you can use immediately

Notable Quotes from Luke Jernagan

• [1:36] “Families who practice transparency tend to be the ones that function well for generations.”
• [9:58] “It’s not the wealth—it’s the secrecy that erodes freedom and success.”
• [19:15] “Wealth is just the tool. The real opportunity is building a shared family culture.”
• [32:20] “It’s never too late—unless the estate attorney is doing the talking.”

Resources

Download & Read: The Power of Effective Transparency – here.

More about Matter Family Office at their site - https://www.matterfamilyoffice.com/

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, host Alex Kirby is joined by Paul Ferguson, a respected leader in the UHNW and family office space with over 30 years of experience advising both elite families and the firms that serve them. Now with Schwab Advisor Family Office, Paul offers rare insight into what the best-run firms are doing to evolve their pricing models, protect their margins, and better align with client complexity.

Paul’s cross-disciplinary background—from tax and estate planning to MFO leadership and private equity—makes him one of the most well-rounded experts in the field. His perspective is deeply practical, rooted in what actually works, and built to help advisors thrive as client expectations rise.

Whether you advise a $30M client—or want to—you’ll walk away with actionable ways to reframe your pricing, deepen client trust, and build a sustainable practice in today’s changing market.

Why This Episode Will Change the Way You Advise Families

• Why margin—not fee—compression is the real threat in today’s advisory business
• How hybrid models (AUM + retainer) are helping firms separate investment work from complex planning
• Real-world language to use when introducing pricing changes with long-standing clients
• A roadmap for reviewing and updating pricing annually—without losing goodwill
• How best-in-class firms scope, price, and adjust for “surprise” projects (like buying a jet mid-year)

Notable Quotes from Paul Ferguson

“We don’t have a fee compression problem. We have a margin compression problem.” (15:40)

“Your client might forget what you did—but your invoice shouldn’t.” (17:07)

"One of the biggest problems in our industry, everybody is using these terms but no one can define them" (36:18)

"If you don't review your fees annually, the scope of work for your clients will still change" (43:09)

Check out the discussed white paper and additional resources from the Schwab Advisor Family Office

Fees and pricing for ultra-high-net-worth client services | Advisor Services

Serving Family Offices | Schwab Advisor Services

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In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Glenn Spencer—CEO of Prime Capital—shares the five personal values that have guided his life, leadership, and legacy for over 30 years. From candid family conversations to structuring an ownership model rooted in trust and equality, Glenn offers a rare blueprint for how values can guide everything from business decisions to estate plans.

This episode will help you spark deeper conversations with clients, guide generational legacies with clarity, and reframe your role as more than a financial expert—but as a trusted steward of purpose.

Why This Episode Will Change the Way You Advise Families

• How Glenn's 30-year commitment to living his values offers a blueprint for clarity in leadership and legacy
• Why most estate plans miss the mark—and how values can bring deeper meaning to generational planning
• What to ask clients to move from vague goals to values-based action
• How values influence culture, ownership, and succession decisions—and why alignment matters more than terms
• How to build trust by helping clients articulate what really matters in their lives

Notable Quotes from Glenn Spencer 

 "If I can live my life according to these five things, I’ll be a more consistent human being—and at the end of the day, that’s what people want. They want consistency." 

 "Purpose-driven advisors and purpose-driven organizations perform better. Period. That’s what the data says, and it’s what I’ve lived." 

 "When I’m in a difficult situation—whether it’s about being candid with someone or being transparent when it feels risky—I go back to my values to guide me." 

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• Why financial capital alone doesn’t sustain multi-generational wealth
• How great families make decisions that last for centuries
• The hidden challenges inheritors face when receiving wealth—and how to guide them
• How to adopt a well-being-centered approach that transforms your advisory practice

Notable Quotes from James E. Hughes
"When a family understands that its wealth is its well-being, everything changes."
"A family is not an economic system—it’s a social system."
"For an inheritor, financial capital is a meteor from outer space—it has nothing to do with their identity."

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