So…when did this become a problem?

This week, we’re talking about what happens when the feedback an employee heard all year does not match what eventually shows up in writing. Because there’s a big difference between “just stay on top of those deadlines” and “I’m concerned this is becoming a performance issue.”

If an employee is learning how serious something was for the first time during their review, that’s a problem. A performance review should reflect conversations you’ve already had, not reveal what you really meant months later.

This week, we’re looking at feedback from the employee side of the conversation and what happens when you don’t have enough information to know what to do with what you just heard. Asking for clarity doesn’t make you defensive. Sometimes you need the example. You need to know how serious it is. You need to know what your manager expects to see change.

And before you leave the room, make sure you and your manager actually heard the same conversation. Because “thank you for the feedback” might end the meeting, but it doesn’t mean you understood it.

That gap matters.

Managers often have information employees don’t: how serious an issue is, whether it’s affecting future opportunities, whether this is coaching or something more formal, and what needs to happen next. When that context stays in the manager’s head, employees are left trying to read tone, decode language, and figure out what you really meant.

Jen looks at feedback from the supervisor side and asks a simple question: Did the person actually leave knowing where they stand?

Because clarity isn’t cruelty. And confusion isn’t kindness.

We pile on praise, reassurance, explanations, and “this really isn’t a big deal” until the thing the person actually needs to hear gets buried somewhere in the middle. Then we leave the conversation thinking we gave clear feedback and wonder why nothing changes.

But feedback at work is rarely just about the words. It’s about power, timing, trust, defensiveness, interpretation — and sometimes our own need to make an uncomfortable conversation feel more comfortable.

This week, we’re talking about why clarity matters more than cushioning, why waiting 30 minutes to say the hard thing can make the conversation worse, and what someone actually needs to know when you’re asking them to change. Because clarity isn’t cruelty, and confusion isn’t kindness.

They miss the serve with the gym watching. They get subbed out in front of their friends. They get corrected out loud and have to walk back on and try the thing they just failed at. That's not the downside of youth sports. It's the lesson, and it's teaching itself at an age when most adults would rather do anything else.

I close the season by naming what's underneath all of it: working with a teammate you can't stand, taking feedback without falling apart, working hard and not getting what you wanted. And I'm honest about what the adults do to that, how easily the money we put in turns into a return we start watching for, and a return we're watching for turns into blame our kids learn to copy.

If you've felt that pull, this one's for you. My book Before You Blame the Coach is available now.

I coached club at 21. I got handed a team I was never supposed to run, didn't know brackets, missed things a seasoned coach never would. The only reason I lasted long enough to coach a Division I national championship is that the parents on that first team gave me room to be bad before I got good.

So this episode is about the double standard nobody says out loud: we hand our own kids grace for every misread and missed rep, and we hand the young coach a verdict. One bad call becomes a group-chat pile-on. And it works. Good coaches leave, because DoorDash pays the same with none of the weekends and none of the personal attacks.

I'm not telling you to ignore harm. I'm telling you there's a line between a coach who's learning and a coach who's hurting your kid, and most of what sets us off lives nowhere near it.

I've watched this from the coach side for years, and the part that surprises parents most isn't losing the games. It's losing the people. Somewhere in there, your kid's team became your team. Those parents on the sideline became the friends who carried you through the hard stuff. When your kid walks away, you lose that too, and nobody tells you to expect the grief that comes with it.

So this episode is about what's actually happening in you in that moment, and why the grief is real but it's yours to hold, not your child's to manage. I get into the first thing to say when they tell you (it's shorter than you'd guess), and why it matters so much that they were honest with you instead of just quietly checking out.

If your athlete has said it, or you can feel it coming, this one's for you.

https://jenfrytalksyouthsports.com/book

I get why. You hear the hurt in their voice, and you want to protect them. But most of the time, that thing your kid is calling out isn't being singled out. It's being coached. And the two feel identical from the passenger seat if nobody's ever taught your kid the difference.

In this episode, I talk about what actually happens when a coach keeps correcting your athlete, why the kid getting less feedback usually isn't the one doing better, and the reflex I watched parents fall into for fifteen years on the bench side — treating a correction like something's gone wrong instead of something's being built. I also get into the harder line: when tough feedback gets called abuse, and why blurring that costs your kid something later.

Before You Blame the Coach is out now. If this one lands, share it with a sport parent who needs it.

https://jenfrytalksyouthsports.com/book

This is the episode where the book is finally out, and it's the exact moment I built the book for. Because I've watched this play out from the other side of the bench for fifteen years: a parent who loves their kid, who's running on a partial story and a spike of emotion, deciding right then that the coach needs to hear it — or worse, that the internet does.

I get into why that moment is where supportive parenting either holds or comes apart. Missing context. A kid who told you eighty percent of the conversation. The screenshot that outlives the apology. And the thing nobody wants to sit with — that what you do while you're hot doesn't stay with you. It follows your athlete into rooms you'll never be in.

Before You Blame the Coach is out now. This one's about the pause that protects everybody, especially the kid you're trying to defend.

https://jenfrytalksyouthsports.com/book

It doesn't land on the coach. It doesn't land on the club. It lands on your kid,  who can't do anything with it except start believing they owe you.

In this episode, I get into how money quietly turns your child's sport into a bill they think they have to pay back, why that changes how they play and practice, and why the bribery-ring rumor about club coaches falls apart the second you look at what those coaches actually earn.

I also tell a story about a pair of shoes my mom bought me decades ago, and the math I've been doing in my head ever since. It's the reason I think about money and expectations the way I do, and why attaching dollars to how your kid performs costs everyone more than it looks like.

If you've felt that surge when the money crosses your mind mid-game, this one's for you. Order Before You Blame the Coach at https://jenfrytalksyouthsports.com/book.

Here's the thing I've learned from the other side of the bench: youth sports were never built to be fair. The kid who's 6'2" at twelve, the late bloomer, the one splitting practices between two sports — the reps were never going to come out even. So when fairness becomes the score you're keeping, you lose the season to a game the sport isn't playing.

But there's a second thing underneath the fairness argument, and it's the one this episode is really about. Sometimes what you're sure is great...isn't. I've sat with film where a parent wants the diving, flopping, all-over-the-floor defender cut into a highlight reel — and what I see is a kid who can't stay on their feet. Same clip. Two completely different reads. You weren't missing information. You were watching the whole time and measuring by the wrong thing.

That's not a knock on you. It's just the gap between what looks impressive and what a coach actually trusts. This episode is about closing that gap and asking a better question than "is it fair?"

And most of us answer it. We say you're too slow, or you need to get lower, or the coach has favorites and there's nothing you can do. We say something. Because they asked, and they're upset, and silence feels like we don't care.

The reality? A lot of us have no business answering that question. We've never played the sport. We've never coached it. We're guessing, and our guess lands on our kid as gospel — sometimes in direct opposition to what the coach just told them in the gym.

I brought in Dan Mickle for this one. He's a Division III volleyball coach, a sports psychology professional, and someone who's been coaching without a break since 1992. He also happens to be the person who harassed me into finishing my PhD, so we go back. We disagree in this episode, more than once, and I think that's the useful part. He'll tell you the car is a missed opportunity. I'll tell you most parents don't have the emotional regulation to use it well. We're both right, and the gap between us is where the actual work is.

What we agree on: your job isn't to have the answer. It's to teach your kid how to go get it from the person who does.

My book, Before You Blame the Coach, is available for preorder now: https://jenfrytalksyouthsports.com/book

This episode is about what that reflex costs. Not because it comes from a bad place — it almost always comes from love — but because the same instinct that ties the shoe is the one that, a few years later, is emailing the coach and smoothing over a conflict your kid never got to attempt to navigate. Nobody feels the line get crossed. Every step feels like helping.

We need to name the part most parents don't want to sit with: that clearing the path doesn't build the confidence they say they want for their kid. Confidence gets built the other way — by doing the hard thing badly and living through it, without being rescued. Which means the most useful move in the hardest moment is usually the least intuitive one.

If you've ever caught yourself furious on the sideline while your kid is perfectly fine, or reached in to fix something before they'd even finished asking, this one's for you. Jen's a self-proclaimed control freak, too. She's not here to shame the reflex — just to make sure you can hear yourself doing it.

 ttps://jenfrytalksyouthsports.com/book

That question is what this episode, and this season, is built around. Not because the logistics don't matter. They do. But because nobody ever tells parents that managing the gear bag isn't the same as deciding how to show up when things get hard.

I spent over fifteen years coaching college athletes, which means I spent just as long watching this play out from the other side of it. I kept seeing parents who were doing everything right on paper — present, paying, driving — and still surprising themselves in the moments that actually tested them. That's why I wrote Before You Blame the Coach, and it's where this episode starts.

If you've ever felt like you were doing all the right things and still didn't recognize yourself in a tense moment, this one's for you.

https://jenfrytalksyouthsports.com/book

Jen closes this season by walking through what actually makes a retreat useful: clear purpose, behavioral goals, timing that interrupts old patterns, and enough structure for conflict to become part of the work instead of a complaint session. Fun can help people breathe. It cannot carry the conversations leaders have been avoiding.

This episode also gets into psychological safety, accountability, and the guardrails teams need if they are going to be honest with each other without letting harm or avoidance run the room. The work does not end when the retreat ends. It shows up in decision-making, meeting habits, follow-through, and whether leaders keep the hard things visible after everyone is back at work.

If you are planning a retreat or team session between July and September and want help designing it with more purpose, visit jenfrytalks.com.

In this episode, Jen talks about what happens when teams come back from a retreat with good conversations, more connection, maybe even more honesty, but no real plan for what changes next. The same conflict shows back up because stress shows back up. Urgency shows back up. Old patterns show back up. And if the team has not decided how they will keep working through those patterns, people start to wonder whether the retreat actually changed anything.

Jen names why recurring conflict is often an unfinished conversation problem, not a broken people problem. She talks about what teams need after the retreat: continued conversations, clearer expectations, accountability, emotional management, and behavior changes people can actually see.

When leaders wait until everyone is in the room to finally name the real issues, the retreat starts from defense instead of honesty. People are surprised. They get guarded. And now the thing that should have been part of an ongoing conversation becomes the thing everyone has to manage for the next two days.

This episode is about the conversations leaders avoid before retreats: peer accountability, performance gaps, role confusion, decision authority, and trust that has been wearing down over time. Because if leaders are holding everyone else accountable but not each other, people notice. If no one knows who owns the work, things get dropped. If decisions are made by habit instead of clarity, people keep passing the buck.

The work is to say it earlier. Say it clearly. Prepare people for the conversation instead of surprising them with it once they arrive. A retreat should help a team keep moving through the hard work, not become the first place leadership finally says what has been true for months.

If leaders have not decided what accountability looks like inside that space, people are being asked to trust a promise that may not hold once someone gets uncomfortable. That matters, because hard conversations do not just create honesty. They can also create defensiveness, raised voices, table-slapping, cursing, dismissal, and emotional reactions that make other people decide they are done speaking.

In this episode, Jen talks about psychological safety through the lens of accountability. Before leaders ask people to name what is hard, they need to prepare for the what-if moments. What if a supervisor gets defensive? What if a high performer shuts someone down? What if someone crosses a line in front of the whole group? Who steps in? What happens next? How quickly does it happen?

A retreat cannot create real movement if safety depends on everyone behaving perfectly on their own. People need to know the standard before the conversation starts, and they need to see that standard held when it matters. That is how accountability and psychological safety sit together, and that is what makes a retreat more than a temporary reset.

That is the conversation I got into here. Not whether conflict belongs at a retreat. Whether the room can actually hold tension long enough to tell the truth about what is off.

Because a lot of teams confuse silence with maturity. They call it professionalism. They call it protecting the space. But when nobody can stay with a hard moment, trust gets thinner, not stronger. People learn how to manage discomfort, not how to work through conflict.

I talk about why facilitation matters, what makes a hard conversation useful instead of messy, and why the room right after the truth comes out is where real trust either starts getting built or starts getting lost.

Jen gets into the difference between feeling good together and being able to work well together. Those are not the same thing. A few shared activities might make people more relaxed, but they will not explain why someone avoids a coworker, hesitates to speak honestly with a boss, or keeps sidestepping a hard conversation.

She also pushes on a belief that quietly causes problems in a lot of teams: the idea that if people are not close friends, they cannot work together well. That is not true. Sometimes the goal is not closeness. Sometimes the goal is a solid working relationship with clearer expectations, more honesty, and less avoidance.

Fun can support the room, but it cannot repair the culture for you. If the retreat is going to matter, the team has to name the real issue, make space for honest conversation, and leave with something more useful than a few good photos and a lighter mood.

This conversation gets underneath that pattern. Jen talks about why vague goals like “we need to communicate better” keep teams stuck, and why a retreat only becomes useful when the actual problem is named clearly enough to work on. Not the polished version. The real one.

She also gets into leadership accountability, because retreat failure is rarely just about staff buy-in. It shows up when the people with the most power avoid looking at the behaviors that are shaping the room in the first place. If leaders are unwilling to name what they need to change, the retreat turns into a break from the problem instead of a turning point.

The question is simple: what needs to look different by Monday? If you’re planning a retreat, leading a team, or trying to figure out why your offsites never quite land, this episode gets specific about what has to be named before anybody walks in.

Conflict does not come out of nowhere. Your responses were shaped long before this role, this team, or this title. Family systems, early authority, and unspoken rules taught you what felt safe, what felt risky, and what felt necessary when tension showed up. If you do not know what you learned, you will keep calling your reflexes leadership.

Across this season, we talked about what it takes to slow that reflex down. Self-awareness as a real advantage. Triggers and emotional regulation as leadership skills. The stories you tell yourself before you ever ask a question. The difference between defending and being defensive. Who is actually allowed to tell you the truth. And why trust grows when people own impact instead of pretending nothing happened.

This recap is a reminder that conflict is not the problem. The problem is running the same pattern without examining it. If this season stayed with you, go back and sit with the episodes that hit a nerve. And if your team needs help doing this work together, I also offer keynotes, workshops, and facilitation. Let's chat.

Not when things are smooth. Not when the meeting goes well. After you interrupt someone. After you dismiss a concern. After you get it wrong.

Most leaders don’t struggle with saying “I’m sorry.” They struggle with what happens next. The explanation comes quickly. The intent gets clarified. The wording sounds mature. But the impact remains untouched.

When you center your intent, you shift the conversation away from the harm and toward protecting your image. And if you’re focused on intent, you’re not focused on impact.

Real repair requires naming what you did and how it landed, without disclaimers. It’s uncomfortable because it forces you to sit with your part. But that’s where credibility is built. Not through perfection. Through ownership.

If you lead people, this one matters. Repair isn’t dramatic. It’s specific. And it shapes the culture more than any policy ever will.

Power doesn’t disappear because you’re approachable. It shows up in who has to walk toward you. It shows up in who speaks first in meetings. It shows up in how long someone pauses before telling you your idea is off.

The real measure isn’t access. It’s speed. How quickly can someone tell you you’re wrong? If people need to rehearse, coordinate, or nominate the “right” messenger, that tells you something about the environment you’ve built. When truth slows down, innovation slows down with it.

We get into the reflex that blocks it. The sigh. The tightened face. The subtle defense that flashes across your body before you say a word. And what it takes to build a culture where correction happens in real time, not in the hallway after.

This conversation slows that moment down. I walk through the difference between actual defensiveness and healthy self-defense. Interrupting, justifying, listening just to reload your rebuttal. Those behaviors protect your ego. Clarifying questions, asking for examples, reflecting back what you heard, and taking a breath before responding. Those behaviors protect the integrity of the conversation. When we name behaviors instead of throwing labels, we keep accountability in the room without shaming someone out of it.

If you lead people, parent, coach, or simply care about getting better at hard conversations, this one asks you to look at your own patterns too. Do you rush to explain your intent? Do you avoid defending your perspective altogether? You don’t get to build trust if people feel silenced for speaking, and you don’t get to grow if every response is treated like rebellion. There’s a difference. Let’s get better at seeing it.

Something feels off, and before you say a word, your brain writes a full script about what the other person meant, why they did it, and how it’s probably not great. I call this the “shower lawyer” habit, where you're arguing a case in your head that no one else even knows exists. This episode is about interrupting that pattern, because those private narratives feel protective but quietly wreck clarity, repair, and trust.

This season is grounded in one hard truth: leadership starts with self. That means noticing when you’re spinning stories, regulating your own reactions, and choosing questions over rehearsed arguments. We talk about a simple rule—don’t knit the sweater—so you can catch yourself turning guesses into certainty. From there, I share a few practical ways to separate fact from assumption, name what you’re feeling without defending it, and open a real conversation instead of extending the mental movie.

Conflict doesn’t need to be pleasant to be useful. One honest exchange can save months of distance, but only if you’re willing to drop the storyline and show up. If you’ve been rehearsing that argument in your head, consider this your nudge to pause, get curious, and talk to the actual human in front of you. 

I talk about growing up without language for feelings, how avoidance becomes a habit, and what happens when that habit follows us into teams, partnerships, and high-stakes conversations. We get clear on intent versus impact, why “that’s just how I am” isn’t neutral, and how easy it is to leave other people doing the emotional cleanup if we’re not paying attention.

You’ll also hear the practical side: how to notice early body cues, name specific triggers, and use simple pause and grounding practices when things heat up. Not to be calm for the sake of calm, but to stay present enough to choose your next move. Because when you can regulate yourself, conflict stops being a threat and starts becoming information — and that’s where trust, repair, and real leadership live.

I walk through how to notice the body cue, pause long enough to get your footing, and choose a response that protects your values instead of letting impulse run the meeting. We use real language and real examples, including how dismissive phrases escalate tension and how to set boundaries that keep the work moving without steamrolling people. The point isn’t to never react. It’s to shorten the distance between reaction and recovery so you can lead with steadiness and use conflict as information, not a derailment.

I walk through self-awareness as a practical leadership skill. Catching the small tells like pen clicking, screen checking, tightening your jaw. Naming what’s happening internally without handing it to everyone else in the room. Using simple resets to slow the moment down so you can choose clarity over reflex. When leaders do this, teams feel it. Conversations get cleaner. Accountability lands with less friction. Trust grows because people know how you show up when things get uncomfortable.

If you’re ready to lead past old patterns, this is a path to steadier decisions and healthier cultures under pressure. Follow the show, share it with a manager who needs it, and leave a rating so more leaders can build a better relationship with conflict. And as you listen, notice this: what’s the first signal that tells you you’re uncomfortable, and what reset will you try next?

I share how growing up with mixed family models taught me to avoid conflict, and how that avoidance eventually cost me clarity and credibility as a leader. From there, we slow things down and get practical. How do you act when you are sure you are right? When you worry you might be wrong? When you feel silenced? What did conflict look like when you were young, and how is that history shaping how you lead today?

This episode offers short stories, sharp reflection questions, and simple practices you can use right away. We talk about naming tension earlier, setting clearer norms, and following conflict through repair instead of retreat. The focus of this season is leadership that starts with self and shows up through consistent, thoughtful practice.

If this resonated, follow the show, rate it, and share it with someone who is ready to change their relationship with conflict. I also do keynotes, workshops, and facilitation. My goal is to help one million people build a better relationship with conflict, and it starts with you.

This season, Five with Fry is narrowing its focus to one thing: conflict. Not the dramatic kind—the everyday moments where things get tense, words get awkward, and most of us either push through or shut down. After experimenting with different formats, the answer was clear: depth matters more than variety. Five minutes is enough if we use them well.

I’m working with a simple image to guide this shift: the palimpsest. Nothing starts from zero. Every argument you’ve had, every apology you rushed, every conversation you avoided leaves a trace. Those traces aren’t mistakes—they’re data. If you’re willing to read them, they tell you exactly where your patterns live and what needs to change.

Each season will run 11–12 short episodes, all built around practical conflict skills you can use immediately: how to start a hard conversation without cushioning it to death, how to separate impact from intent, how to set a boundary that actually holds, and how to repair when things go sideways. We’ll also talk about power and identity, because conflict never happens in a vacuum—and pretending it does makes things worse.

Some episodes will include guests answering one question: What’s a conflict that changed you for the better? Not to perform vulnerability, but to name the choices that mattered.

Take what you hear. Sit with it. Try it.
 Growth lives on the other side of the conversation.
 Don’t waste the conflict.

We’re doing new year, same person—just less exhausted and more honest.

2025 was a lot. And pretending it wasn’t doesn’t set you up for a breakthrough—it sets you up to quit by February. So in this episode, I’m talking about how to claim 2026 as a breakthrough year without tearing your life down to the studs.

This is a remodel, not a demolition.

We get specific about the small things that actually change how your days feel: booking the therapy appointment instead of thinking about it, looking at your receipts so money stress doesn’t live in the background, doing the dishes before bed so tomorrow isn’t already behind, and putting clean sheets on before you travel so you come home to something that feels like care.

We talk about why all-or-nothing resolutions fail, how micro-clarity keeps you steady when motivation drops, and what it looks like to start the year with guardrails—safer choices, smarter spending, and a bedtime that respects the version of you who has to wake up tomorrow.

This isn’t about becoming someone else.
 It’s about practicing self-respect in small, repeatable ways that add up.

If you’re done with performative resets and ready for something that actually holds, this one’s for you.

And when you’re done listening, tell me: what’s the one small habit you’re committing to for your 2026 breakthrough?

If this is your first holiday alone, your kids are somewhere else, you’ve moved, divorced, or lost someone, the pressure to “make it special” can feel like way too much. Especially when your energy is already thin.

In this episode, I talk about that loneliness without dressing it up—and about what actually helps. Including a cookie-decorating plan that went off the rails fast and reminded me (again) that chasing the picture of a perfect holiday usually costs more than it gives back.

We talk about choosing ease over performance. Making small, specific plans instead of vague ones that fall apart. Naming loneliness so it doesn’t run the whole week. And creating simple rituals that fit this version of your life—not the one you’re supposed to be in.

That might look like one shared meal, a short call, a walk with a neighbor, lighting a candle for someone you miss, or letting go of traditions that require more energy than you have.

This isn’t about fixing the holiday. It’s about getting through it with a little more steadiness, honesty, and care.

If this episode feels like something you needed, pass it along. And if you have a low-effort tradition that actually brings you comfort, I’d love to hear it.

In this episode of Five with Fry, we talk about how “being nice” often becomes a way to avoid telling the truth—especially when power is involved. Politeness gets praised. Discomfort gets labeled a tone problem. And real issues stay safely untouched.

This isn’t about being rude or reckless. Respect still matters. But softening the message to protect comfort slows decisions, blocks accountability, and keeps teams stuck in endless discussion. We break down how tone policing shows up at work, who it actually protects, and why so many leaders mistake calm meetings for progress.

You’ll hear practical ways to say the hard thing without turning it into a personal attack: how to anchor feedback in goals and risk, how to separate what you’re saying from how someone feels about hearing it, and how to stop over-editing your language until the point disappears. For leaders, we talk about what it really takes to invite dissent—and how to respond in the moment when someone is brave enough to use it.

Because clarity is not cruelty. It’s care. And work moves faster when people are allowed to be honest instead of polite.

If your team avoids tension but struggles to ship, start here. What’s the truth you’ve been sanding down that actually needs to be said—plainly—this week?

In this episode, we dig into a very real holiday scenario: you set a simple boundary—if grandpa uses slurs, I’m leaving—and suddenly the family group chat is acting like you’re detonating the traditions of the free world. Your sibling says “just ignore it,” your aunt pulls the “he doesn’t have much time” card, and somehow you become the problem for wanting a slur-free meal.

We break down why people who love you still push your limits, how family systems protect their comfort at all costs, and what to say in the moment so you don’t slip into a 20-minute TED Talk. You’ll get grounded, repeatable scripts you can actually use, plus the logistics that make boundaries stick: share it early, plan your exit, and pick one steady line you can return to when things get loud.

If the line does get crossed, we walk through how to leave without theatrics, how to send a short follow-up that connects action to boundary, and how to handle the fatigue that shows up afterward. Your nervous system needs reps before this gets easier, and consistency is what teaches people where your line actually is.

Expect some pushback. Expect some clarity, too. Boundaries get real in repetition.

If this episode gives you a line you can use at the table, pass it to someone else who needs backup this season. And if there’s a topic you want me to get into next, send it my way.

We start by calling out the myth of emotion-free feedback. It doesn’t work, it isn’t fair, and it usually makes things worse. People have feelings. That is normal. Trying to dodge them only creates confusion and erodes trust. We talk about the real cost of softening the blow: overthinking at 2 a.m., mixed messages, and relationships that feel shaky instead of solid.

You’ll get phrasing you can use right away, whether you need to tell a player she isn’t starting or let a friend know you can’t make their event. We cover why early honesty is a kindness and how to set a clear boundary around respectful behavior. Feeling emotions is fine. Being disrespectful is not.

We also walk through a simple way to follow through after delivering hard news: share context without trying to control someone’s reaction, invite questions, summarize next steps, and set a time to check back in. Leaders, coaches, teammates, and friends who practice this build deeper trust because people know they will get the truth early and the space to process it.

If this episode resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who’s facing a tough conversation, and leave a review. If you have a topic you want me to tackle next, send it my way. You can also find me on IG, Twitter, and TikTok  @jenfrytalks or LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.

We talk about the “home script” that pulls you into past roles—and how to rewrite it. You’ll get practical boundary phrases that actually diffuse tension, language that redirects without apology, and simple tools to keep your nervous system from burning out when the people who installed your buttons start pushing them.

We cover the essentials:

•  The holiday trigger trap and why it feels sudden
•  Pre-planning your visit (including what you’ll skip)
•  Identifying allies and setting exits without guilt
•  Micro-resets you can use in real time (breath, movement, sensory anchors)
•  Reframing regression as context—not failure
•  Building in recovery time so you come back to your life clear and steady

Whether your season includes Thanksgiving tables, Boxing Day traditions, Christmas gatherings, or Kwanzaa plans, this conversation helps you stay grounded while still enjoying the food, the warmth, and the stories worth keeping. Healing doesn’t mean never being triggered—it means meeting those moments with awareness, structure, and self-respect.

If this one hits home, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs backup, and leave a quick review. Got a topic you want us to tackle? Send it our way. You can always find Jen on IG, TikTok, and Twitter at @JenFryTalks, or on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.

We talk through the stuff no one tells you: once you hit the portal, your current coach isn’t obligated to hold your scholarship, “testing the waters” can slam a one-way door behind you, and emotional decisions can cost you playing time, money, and opportunity. We’ll walk through how scholarships actually work, what coaches look for, and why roster limits and facility access matter more than ever.

You’ll get a simple framework for deciding whether to stay and develop or move with a plan—how to read your stats honestly, use film and feedback to grow fast, advocate for clarity with your coach, and resist the peer-pressure panic of watching teammates jump ship. And if transferring is the right move, we’ll dive into recruiting 2.0: focused film, smart outreach, realistic level targeting, and what it means to compete with portal, JUCO, and incoming athletes.

The goal of this episode is simple: protect your future, avoid costly mistakes, and make a decision that supports your game, your degree, and your wallet.

If you love the episode, subscribe, share it with a teammate who needs it, and leave a review. You can find me on IG, Twitter, TikTok at @JenFryTalks or on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.

In this one, Dr. Jen Fry gets personal. She shares what she learned after her mom, Carol Fry, passed away in June 2020, using that experience to break down how grief and logistics collide. Going through a parent’s things? That’s hard. Navigating probate, bills, and paperwork? That’s complicated. And when you don’t have your affairs in order, the complicated makes the hard even harder.

Jen walks through simple, real-world steps—like setting up a legacy contact, naming an emergency contact, and getting your paperwork together—so your people aren’t left drowning in details when they should be remembering you.

This episode is both heart and homework: a reminder that planning ahead isn’t morbid, it’s love in action.

https://www.sequoiacap.com/podcast/crucible-moments-nvidia/

Jen walks through real-world examples of how calm, grounded explanations can actually strengthen trust and clarity—at work, at home, and anywhere dialogue matters. You’ll learn to spot the cues that signal rising defensiveness (crossed arms, clipped replies, eye rolls) and use simple tools to reset in the moment.

We’ll cover:

•  How to tell the difference between defending and being defensive
•  Why adding context makes feedback more fair and useful
•  Body language and tone cues to watch for
•  Practical phrases that invite dialogue instead of debate
•  How mislabeling explanation as “defensiveness” harms performance reviews and trust
•  Quick steps to keep conversations open and collaborative

You’ll walk away with language you can use right away—like, “May I add context so this makes sense?” or “I hear your point; here’s what shaped that decision.” These short loops turn heat into clarity and make feedback a two-way conversation instead of a shutdown moment.

If this one resonates, share it with someone who needs a better feedback playbook, hit follow wherever you listen, and leave a quick review. Got a topic you want me to tackle next? Drop me a message—and come find me on Instagram, TikTok, or Twitter at @JenFryTalks, or on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.

In this episode, we look at what was said, who said it, and how the focus moved from the harm caused to the fear of “ruining lives.” We unpack the double standards that excuse insiders, punish critics, and protect those already in power. Because if words reveal values, then private chats say a lot about how people will lead in public.

You’ll hear a clear, practical framework for accountability—one that focuses on impact over intent. We talk about proportional consequences and outline concrete steps that rebuild trust: removing people from harmful roles, making transparent commitments, and tracking real change. This conversation isn’t about canceling anyone. It’s about setting a culture where accountability and growth actually mean something.

If this resonates, share the episode, leave a review, and help keep these conversations in more feeds. Got a topic you want me to tackle next? Find me on IG, Twitter, TikTok, or LinkedIn at @JenFryTalks, and let’s keep the curiosity and accountability going.

https://www.politico.com/news/2025/10/15/vance-group-chat-young-boys-stupid-things-00609645

During a drive back from Martha’s Vineyard, I listened to a course about repeatable intellectual property that totally flipped my thinking on what it means to “learn.” There’s a huge difference between something being repetitive and something being repeatable. The first feels like busywork; the second builds mastery.

Think about it like sports—athletes don’t practice a skill once and call it done. They repeat it hundreds of times, so it’s second nature when it counts. The same goes for personal and professional growth, especially when we’re talking about complex topics like identity and inclusion. Every time we revisit valuable material, we peel back new layers, connect more dots, and deepen our understanding.

Join me as I dig into how to make your learning repeatable—not just repetitive—and why going back to what you’ve “already done” might be the smartest move you make.

Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, and X @JenFryTalks or connect on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry. And don’t forget to subscribe, share, and drop a review wherever you listen to podcasts!

As someone who’s wildly competitive, losing has never sat well with me. Take this recent tech pitch competition. I was sure I’d win. When I didn’t, I was pissed. But somewhere between the stage and the drive home, the ideas started flowing. New directions. Better strategy. The kind of insight that only shows up after you’ve been knocked down a peg.

Here’s what I’ve learned: rejection creates the exact mental space where innovation happens. When we win, we rarely stop to question our process. When we lose, we’re forced to reimagine everything. That discomfort? It’s the birthplace of creativity.

The first version of your idea is rarely the best one. True excellence comes from iteration—refining, pivoting, and shaping until it shines. Like a diamond, brilliance takes pressure.

So, what setback are you facing right now that might actually be the beginning of your next breakthrough?

Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, and X at @JenFryTalks, or connect on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.

In this episode of Five with Fry, I talk with Allison Kern, Associate VP and Director of Athletics at Cal State East Bay, about what leadership really demands. We talk about thriving in discomfort, making hard conversations part of everyday culture, and staying committed to your vision even when it feels unpopular. Allison also shares how solitude is part of the role and why trusting yourself matters.

We dig into how communication reflects your view of others, how to identify the compromises you can live with, and why the right fit matters more than taking every opportunity.

If you’re leading now or preparing for that role, this conversation offers an honest look at the weight of leadership and what it takes to create stability, clarity, and trust.

Adding the word if shifts the problem away from our words and onto someone else’s reaction. It suggests the issue isn’t what was said, but the fact that someone felt offended. That framing puts the responsibility on the listener instead of the speaker.

Real accountability looks different. It’s direct and specific: “I’m sorry for what I said.” Think of it as treating accountability like a yield sign—acknowledge it, own it, and move forward—rather than a stop sign where you get stuck in over-apologizing.

In this episode, I unpack how to recognize conditional apologies, why they undermine trust, and how to take ownership in ways that actually strengthen relationships.

Got a topic you’d like me to cover? Reach out and let me know. Be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and connect with me on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter @JenFryTalks or on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.

I share a personal story about building a new website using what I call “vibe coding”(i.e., natural language tools that spit out code). At first, I created separate web pages with no clue how to actually connect them. Hours of research later, I was frustrated and ready to quit. But I didn’t. I kept pushing, kept asking myself, What other ways have I not looked at this? And then came the breakthrough: realizing I could build everything from one central page. That single shift made the whole thing click.

The real win wasn’t just the finished site. It was the growth that happened in the struggle, like learning new skills, seeing the problem differently, and feeling that unique glory when persistence pays off. Growth doesn’t happen in spite of frustration; it happens because of it.

So if you’re staring at a problem that feels impossible, don’t stop at the first sign of difficulty. Your next skill set, insight, or moment of confidence might be waiting just on the other side.

Come follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @JenFryTalks, or connect with me on LinkedIn. Until next time, stay curious, stay bold, and keep the conversation going.

In this episode, I talk about why “niceness” can actually cause harm when it prevents clarity, feedback, or necessary decisions. Hoping someone will quit instead of addressing performance directly doesn’t protect them. It undermines trust. True kindness requires courage. That could mean giving feedback even when it’s uncomfortable, or handling terminations with honesty and dignity instead of leaving someone in limbo. Kindness values long-term well-being over temporary comfort.

I invite you to reflect on your own approach to communication. Are you prioritizing being liked, or are you willing to lean into discomfort for the sake of real kindness? That choice makes all the difference in how effective you are as a leader.

Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @JenFryTalks, or connect with me on LinkedIn as Dr. Jen Fry. Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts.

That’s why I brought in Luke Fedlam, a non-agent sports attorney who calls himself a “protector of possibilities.” Luke is the partner and co-chair of the Entertainment, Sports, and Media Practice at Amundsen Davis and managing partner of Advance NIL. Translation: he’s seen it all when it comes to athlete empowerment, contracts, and the pitfalls that can wreck careers if you’re not careful.

In this episode, Luke breaks down the five essential things every athlete should know before signing with an agent. We dig into:

• How to identify the services you actually need instead of letting an agent tell you what you want
• The right way to do due diligence—everything from a basic Google search to deep background checks
• Why written contracts and favorable termination clauses aren’t optional
• The red flags of rushing into agreements
• And how to keep monitoring the relationship so you’re always in the driver’s seat

We also talk about the difference between professional player agents (who have oversight) and NIL agents (who often don’t), how to avoid paying multiple agents for the same deal, and why protecting your intellectual property is non-negotiable.

At the end of the day, you are the CEO of your brand. Luke’s insights will give you the tools to step into that role with clarity and confidence.

You can follow him on all platforms at @LukeFedlam for more on how to protect your possibilities.

In this episode of Five with Fry, I dig into the hidden costs of this shift. Freshmen used to get a grace period—a chance to adapt to new classes, teammates, and independence. Now, that buffer is disappearing. The result? Rising mental health concerns as student-athletes navigate not only academics and athletics but also the pressure to “earn” their worth.

I’m asking the hard questions: How do we balance fair compensation with protecting young athletes’ well-being? What does progress look like when it comes at the expense of development? And how do we make sure the drive for profit doesn’t come at too steep a human cost?

Subscribe to Five with Fry wherever you get your podcasts, and join the conversation with me on social @JenFryTalks.

That’s the reality for every new leader: the shift from theory to practice is humbling. The people you’re leading don’t see your growth curve; they only know you as the one in charge. You quickly learn that leadership isn’t magic math where “two plus two equals a thousand.” It’s closer to throwing ingredients into a cauldron and hoping you find a combination that actually works.

This episode of Five with Fry is about recognizing those first teams—the ones who stuck with you through the experiments, mistakes, and growing pains. They shaped your leadership more than you realize, and they deserve your thanks.

We’ll explore how culture shapes our comfort with directness, why blunt honesty isn’t automatically disrespectful, and how to tell whether our discomfort with feedback comes from the message itself or the way it’s delivered. You’ll hear why building a higher tolerance for honest, direct feedback is one of the best skills you can develop—whether you’re growing as a person, a leader, or an athlete.

This is about more than communication; it’s about clarity, growth, and learning to sit with a little discomfort so you can actually move forward.

Think about it: when you care enough to wrestle with discomfort, speak hard truths, and work through disagreement instead of walking away, that says something. Real relationships require tension. Avoiding conflict might keep things polite, but it also keeps them shallow.

I share why so many of us were conditioned to fear conflict and how that shows up—either by shutting down or going full steam ahead. Neither of those extremes helps us build the skills we need for real connection. But if you’re willing to stay in the room when things get tough? That’s where the growth lives.

Whether you tend to avoid conflict or meet it head-on, this episode will challenge the way you see it, and maybe the way you show up in your closest relationships. Let’s talk about the unspoken stuff. Let’s get honest. And let’s stop treating conflict like it’s the enemy.

Grab my new book, I Said No, for more on how to navigate the messy, meaningful moments in work and life. And hit me up @JenFryTalks. I want to know how this episode landed with you.

Most of us were never taught how to handle conflict. We picked up habits by watching family or just winged it. And now we're out here navigating disagreements, tough conversations, and daily tension without real tools.

In this episode of Five with Fry, I’m sharing why building conflict skills is essential—not just for your relationships, but for your mental health, boundaries, and self-worth. I even tell a story about a nail salon mishap that used to leave me silently fuming. Now? I advocate for myself calmly, clearly, and in the moment. That shift didn’t happen overnight. It came from real practice.

I talk about how conflict shows up everywhere, why so many of us feel unprepared, and how we can start handling these moments in ways that feel more aligned, more powerful, and more you. It’s the exact reason I wrote my book, I Said No: How to Have a Backbone and Boundaries Without Being a Jerk. You deserve practical tools that help you navigate hard conversations without blowing things up or selling yourself short.

Pre-order before August 1st to get exclusive goodies (think: candles, fun stuff, and even a chance for personal coaching time with me).

Let’s change how you show up in conflict!

Jen gets honest about the guilt, shame, and second-guessing that often come with setting boundaries and advocating for yourself. She explains why avoiding conflict actually holds us back, and why those uncomfortable moments—when emotions run high and your defenses pop up—are actually powerful data points for growth. The episode breaks down practical tools and reflection questions from the book, showing how they can help teams, book clubs, and organizations strengthen their conflict muscles together.

Whether you’re leading a group or just looking for healthier relationships, Jen makes the case that “your relationships are only as deep as your conflict skills.” Ready to ditch the dread and build real confidence around difficult conversations? Tune in for your first step toward navigating conflict with more backbone, more boundaries, and a lot less stress.

Pre-order Jen's book here: https://jenfrytalks.com/book/

Dan shares five powerful shifts that can change the game for athletes, coaches, and parents alike. From reframing nerves as a sign that you care, to understanding that focus isn’t magic—it’s a trainable skill—this conversation will challenge a lot of what you think you know about performance.

You’ll learn why your self-talk is actually your most consistent coach, and how naming your inner critic can help you take back control. Dan also shares what journaling can reveal about performance patterns, how to practice mental recovery during drills, and why being brave (not fearless) is the real key to growth.

Whether you’re a parent trying to support a young athlete, a coach rethinking how you build focus, or an athlete ready to level up, this episode is packed with insights you can use right now. Because the most important training doesn’t happen in the gym. It happens between your ears.

Ready to train your mental game? Let’s go.

Find more from Dan at danmickle.com, on social @RealDanMickle, or check out his podcast at mentalcast.com.

In this episode of Five with Fry, Dr. Jen Fry sits down with mental performance coach Dan Mickle to unpack five uncomfortable truths about youth sports and the role parents think they’re playing (vs. the one they actually are). From the pressure that sneaks into dinner table conversations to the myth that confidence can be gifted through compliments, this episode pulls no punches.

Dan and Jen dive deep into how well-meaning parents often (unintentionally) derail their child’s development by making their kid’s athletic journey a second chance at their own. They explore why the ride home matters more than the game itself, why struggle is essential, and how the youth sports system prioritizes profit over athletes.

Remember: it’s not about you. And sometimes, as Dan puts it, “Your kid just isn’t that good right now.” Oof. But also? That truth might be exactly what helps you show up better for them.

Whether you’re a parent, coach, or athlete, this one’s a must-listen.

Follow Dan at @RealDanMickle and check out his podcast at mentalcast.com.

In this episode of Five with Fry, I’m taking you on a quick tour of five destinations that changed the way I see the world, and just might do the same for you. From the bold flavors and street energy of Havana, Cuba, to the warm, luxurious but still affordable vibes of Bali, these places are more than just beautiful. They’re transformative.

I’ll share what made me fall in love with:

• Havana’s food and culture
• Bali’s balance of calm and connection
• Phuket’s heat and unforgettable night markets
• Mexico City’s surprising charm and hospitality
• Marrakech’s stunning markets and deep-rooted traditions

Whether you're dreaming up your next trip or just want to see the world through someone else’s stories, this one’s for you.

Follow me on IG, TikTok, and Twitter at @JenFryTalks—or find me on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.

Until next time, stay curious, stay bold, and keep the conversation going.

It’s one of the most repeated pieces of conflict advice and one of the most misunderstood. In this episode of Five with Fry, I’m coming for the myth of active listening. Because expecting people to magically “just listen” during a heated argument—when they’ve never actually been taught how—is setting them up to fail.

We talk a big game about communication, but most of us didn’t grow up in households that modeled healthy conflict or taught us how to hold space when we’re angry, hurt, or defensive. And then we expect ourselves (and others) to perform this high-level skill in the middle of an emotional firestorm?

Nah. That’s like expecting someone to sink a game-winning free throw when they’ve only ever practiced in an empty gym.

In this episode, I break down why active listening is so damn hard, especially when it matters most—and what it actually takes to build that skill. No shame, no fluff. Just a real talk invitation to ditch the unrealistic advice and start practicing the hard stuff when it’s actually hard.

🎧 Subscribe to Five with Fry for more bold takes on conflict, communication, and leadership, and follow me @JenFryTalks for more.

For years, I struggled with conflict. I bottled up my feelings until they came out sideways—loud, messy, and usually unproductive. Growing up, I didn’t learn how to navigate disagreements in a healthy way. My mom avoided confrontation, and I followed her lead. It wasn’t until later that I realized how much those patterns were holding me back, not just in relationships, but in how I showed up for myself.

That’s why I wrote I Said No: How to Have a Backbone and Boundaries Without Being a Jerk. It’s the book young Jen needed. The one that says: you’re not broken, you just didn’t get the tools. In this episode, I share the backstory behind the book—how it came to be, what’s inside, and why learning to handle conflict with more clarity and care is one of the best gifts you can give yourself (and everyone around you).

We talk about where our conflict styles come from, why some of us shut down or explode, and how to start building the muscle of healthy confrontation, without losing your humanity.

I Said No is available for pre-order now on Amazon and Barnes & Noble in paperback and e-book. It drops August 1.

Listen in, and if it hits home, share it with someone else who’s ready to stop dreading conflict and start handling it with confidence.

It’s easy to talk about team culture when things are going well. But what about when they’re not?

In this episode, Dr. Jen Fry gets real about what truly defines a strong team culture—and it’s not just about staying positive. While a lot of teams focus on creating upbeat environments, many fall apart the moment tension hits. That’s because positivity alone doesn’t prepare you for the hard stuff: roommate drama, losing streaks, unmet expectations, or the awkward silence when someone’s upset but no one wants to name it.

True culture shows up when things go sideways. It’s in how teammates give and receive feedback. It’s in whether they can express emotions without fear. It’s in how they handle discomfort, not just how they celebrate wins.

Jen breaks down the difference between performative positivity and real cultural strength—and why teaching athletes to navigate conflict isn’t just good for the team, it’s essential for developing whole, emotionally intelligent humans.

Because if your team can’t handle small conflicts, how are they going to handle the big ones?

Let’s talk about it.

Subscribe, leave a review, and share the episode. Got a topic you want to hear next? Connect with Jen @JenFryTalks on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter, or find her on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.

Ever wonder what your city council member actually does—or should be doing? In this episode of Five with Fry, Dr. Jen Fry sits down with Councilwoman Shontel Lewis of Denver’s District 8 to break it all down. As the only Black woman and the first openly queer Black woman on Denver’s City Council, Lewis brings both lived experience and political insight to this eye-opening conversation.

Together, they explore five essential things every constituent should expect from their local representatives—from crafting policies and updating ordinances to responding to community needs and making sure your tax dollars are spent wisely. Shontel doesn’t sugarcoat the realities of local government. Instead, she lays out exactly how council members should be showing up and why accountability starts with us.

Whether you're already tuned in to city politics or just starting to pay attention, this episode will help you understand how local government touches everything from affordable housing to potholes. Shontel’s message is clear: “There are no hard-to-serve communities, just hard-to-access programs.”

You’ll walk away with a sharper understanding of what effective public service looks like and the motivation to ask more of the people elected to represent you.

Follow the podcast @JenFryTalks and connect with Dr. Jen Fry on LinkedIn to keep the conversation going.

In this raw and hilarious episode of Five with Fry, I’m diving into the very real emotional chaos of tabletop games, starting with the time 10-year-old me absolutely lost it during a game of Monopoly with my mom. (There were tears, screams, and the entire board ended up on the brown carpet.)

Board games aren’t just about passing the time. They reveal us. I share why I believe you should never let kids win (yes, that includes a ruthless Uno Draw Four), and how games like these teach crucial life lessons about fairness, conflict, and competition.

You'll hear the story of a friend accusing me of cheating, what it's like to be "uncomfortably competitive," and why I've basically banned board games from my life altogether, for everyone’s safety.

Whether you're a sore loser, a gracious winner, or someone who flips the board when things go south, this one will hit home.

Ready to unpack your own board-game behavior? Tune in, share your stories, and let’s talk about the unexpected ways games show us who we really are.

Follow me @JenFryTalks on IG, TikTok, and Twitter, or find me on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.

In this episode of Five with Fry, Dr. Jen Fry digs into the uncomfortable—but essential—question at the heart of college coaching: Who is deemed “worth saving” when things get tough?

Drawing from a powerful panel at the Drake Group Symposium, Jen unpacks how race and gender show up in retention decisions, especially when it comes to Black women coaches. The numbers are staggering: in 2024 alone, 11 to 12 Black women volleyball coaches at Power Five schools were fired. Meanwhile, white coaches with similar or worse records often stay put.

This isn’t about performance. As attorney Thomas Newkirk put it: Black coaches aren’t doing anything different than white coaches. What’s different is the institutional response—who gets protected, defended, or quietly let go.

With social media amplifying criticism from parents and athletes, athletic directors are making high-stakes calls about who gets backed. And it’s becoming clearer: those decisions are far from neutral.

As NIL and revenue sharing transform the economics of college sports, Dr. Fry challenges athletic departments to stop hiding behind win-loss records and ask the real question: Who gets grace? Who gets support? And who keeps getting cut loose?

Subscribe to Five with Fry wherever you get your podcasts, and join the conversation @JenFryTalks on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter. Let’s keep this critical conversation going.

We discuss how communication shapes team culture from the ground up and what leaders can do to set clear expectations before conflict ever arises. Kierra introduces the idea of communication matrices (yes, they're real and they work) and how creating systems for information flow protects your time, your team, and your sanity.

We also get into:

• How to establish shared values that guide decisions and behaviors
• The influence of financial pressure on youth sports programs and parent expectations
• What happens when parents treat sports like a transaction instead of a team commitment
• Why culture can’t be reactionary and has to be built on purpose.
• What directors and coaches need to do to stay in control of their own programming

This episode is all about safeguarding what you’ve built—the people, the culture, the mission—by being intentional with how you communicate and who gets access to what decisions.

Whether you're a coach, athletic director, team parent, or anyone working with youth and families, this conversation will help you think more clearly, lead more strategically, and build a stronger foundation for the long run.

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Kierra Pelz is the co-owner and operator of a cheer gym in Alberta, Canada. Her gym is a thriving community where young coaches grow into exceptional mentors while inspiring the next generation of athletes in both competitive and recreational cheerleading.

As a mother of two, she understands the importance of balance and has built systems within her business that allow her to lead effectively while prioritizing her family. These systems also empower her coaching staff, giving them the tools and confidence to excel as leaders in and out of the gym.

Beyond the gym, she is passionate about leadership development and helping young coaches grow into strong, capable mentors. She actively speaks and teaches at industry conferences, including those hosted by Next Generation Gym Owners, where she shares insights on systemization, time management, and leadership. She is committed to lifelong learning and continually seeks opportunities to refine her skills while helping others do the same.

This episode is all about learning how to slow down and show up, especially when emotions are high. We explore the power of the 24-hour rule: a simple but powerful practice that gives people space to cool off, reflect, and come back ready to problem-solve. Whether you're a coach responding to a parent email or a parent processing your child’s frustration, waiting before you react can make all the difference.

We also talk about the messiness of wearing multiple hats — coach, parent, friend — and how to hold boundaries while still being human. Kierra shares practical examples from her gym, and I reflect on lessons I’ve learned firsthand as a parent of a young athlete. We’re not just talking about strategies. We’re talking about the real-life dynamics that show up at the gym, on the field, and in our homes.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why “voice, not text” still matters, especially when emotions are involved
• How the 24-hour rule can prevent conversations from escalating
• The importance of giving kids emotional space before trying to “fix” things
• A real-world story of what happens when adult behavior undermines a child’s athletic experience
• How to create a culture of solution-focused dialogue in youth sports

Whether you’re a coach, parent, or leader in any youth-focused space, this episode is a reminder that hard conversations don’t have to be hostile. They can be an opening for deeper trust and long-term growth.
--

Kierra Pelz is the co-owner and operator of a cheer gym in Alberta, Canada. Her gym is a thriving community where young coaches grow into exceptional mentors while inspiring the next generation of athletes in both competitive and recreational cheerleading.

As a mother of two, she understands the importance of balance and has built systems within her business that allow her to lead effectively while prioritizing her family. These systems also empower her coaching staff, giving them the tools and confidence to excel as leaders in and out of the gym.

Beyond the gym, she is passionate about leadership development and helping young coaches grow into strong, capable mentors. She actively speaks and teaches at industry conferences, including those hosted by Next Generation Gym Owners, where she shares insights on systemization, time management, and leadership. She is committed to lifelong learning and continually seeks opportunities to refine her skills while helping others do the same.

We’re in a moment where humiliation is increasingly packaged as entertainment. But if your goal is to make someone feel small while others watch and laugh, that’s not a prank—it’s abuse. And the fact that this was filmed while friends giggled? That tells us everything about how far we’ve slid into normalizing cruelty.

What would happen if this occurred in any other profession? Likely termination. So why do we accept less from people tied to sports or fame? In this episode, I break down:

• Why the Shedeur Sanders moment matters
• What accountability should actually look like
• Why “just a joke” doesn’t cut it anymore

Let’s stop sidestepping the truth and start calling things what they are. If we want to change the culture, we have to get uncomfortable first.

Join me in this conversation. Follow me @JenFryTalks on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok, or connect on LinkedIn. And don’t forget to subscribe to Five with Fry.

We talk about the unique challenges women face when stepping into leadership roles, especially around conflict management, and share five practical strategies for handling tough conversations with athletes and parents. Kierra even offers up some real-world templates you can use when responding to parent concerns because no one loves crafting those emails from scratch!

We also dive into why empowering young and rookie coaches is a game-changer. Giving them the tools and trust to handle communication directly not only grows their confidence but also frees directors to focus on the big picture. Plus, we break down why face-to-face conversations (not just texts) are critical for building a strong, cohesive coaching culture.

This is the first episode in a three-part series packed with real talk and actionable advice to help you lead with confidence and build a healthier, more effective team environment.
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Kierra Pelz is the co-owner and operator of a cheer gym in Alberta, Canada. Her gym is a thriving community where young coaches grow into exceptional mentors while inspiring the next generation of athletes in both competitive and recreational cheerleading.

As a mother of two, she understands the importance of balance and has built systems within her business that allow her to lead effectively while prioritizing her family. These systems also empower her coaching staff, giving them the tools and confidence to excel as leaders in and out of the gym.

Beyond the gym, she is passionate about leadership development and helping young coaches grow into strong, capable mentors. She actively speaks and teaches at industry conferences, including those hosted by Next Generation Gym Owners, where she shares insights on systemization, time management, and leadership. She is committed to lifelong learning and continually seeks opportunities to refine her skills while helping others do the same.

We’ve covered cover letters. We’ve fixed your resume. Now it’s time to tackle the part that makes most folks sweat: the interview.

In this final episode of the series, I’m walking you through five key strategies to help you prep with confidence and actually show up ready. From “Tell me about yourself” to “Why do you want this job?”...we’re not winging it. We’re walking in with a plan.

Here’s what we’re digging into:

• Why saving the job description is one of the smartest prep moves you can make
• How to research a company without sounding like you copied their About page
• What to say when they hit you with “Tell me about yourself” (and where not to start)
• How to connect your experience to their needs with a clear, tailored response to “Why do you want this job?”
• And how to prep answers for predictable questions like strengths, weaknesses, and past mistakes—without rambling or blacking out mid-sentence

This episode is all about helping you show up ready to speak with clarity, confidence, and purpose—so you don’t leave the interview wondering what the hell just happened.

Ready to turn awkward interviews into offer letters? Hit play now.

Need some extra help with your resume, cover letter, or interview prep? Head over to Hyreable to work with me directly—and let’s secure the damn job.

In this powerful and urgent episode of Five with Fry, Dr. Jen Fry takes a hard look at the mental health crisis devastating college athletics, sparked by the heartbreaking death by suicide of LSU football player Kyren Lacy. It’s a wake-up call we can’t afford to ignore.

Athletes aren’t just competing on the field anymore. They’re performing under a microscope. Every play is dissected by millions online. NIL deals turn teens into business brands overnight. Sports betting adds a dangerous twist, with athletes receiving threats from people who lose money on their games. And all of this is happening while they're still trying to balance classes, practices, and the expectations of coaches, fans, and families.

Telling athletes to “be grateful” misses the point. This is a new game with new rules, and most universities haven’t caught up. Mental health support remains woefully underfunded, even as the demands grow exponentially.

Jen makes it clear: sports psychology isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity. This episode challenges all of us to rethink how we support athletes, stop comparing them to "back in the day," and start advocating for the resources they actually need to survive and thrive.

Let’s be real: one-size-fits-all resumes are a lie. In this second episode, I’m walking you through the resume strategies that actually move the needle. You'll learn five powerful strategies to help you stand out, including replacing outdated objective statements with a compelling executive summary, incorporating quantifiable achievements with specific metrics, and saving every customized version to build your own personal resume library.

I’ll also show you how to make the job description your “North Star,” tailor your resume for each role, and get through those pesky applicant tracking systems (ATS) that scan for keywords before a real person even sees your application.

Whether you're switching careers or just getting started, this episode will give you the tools and the mindset to stay in the game. Job hunting is a marathon, not a sprint—but I’ve got your back.

Need some extra help with your resume, cover letter, or interview prep? Head over to Hyreable to work with me directly—and let’s secure the damn job.

Let’s talk about cover letters. Everyone loves to hate them, but when done right, they can open serious doors. In this first episode, I’m walking you through five essential strategies to craft a cover letter that actually gets noticed. From formatting musts like 0.4" top margins and no fonts smaller than 11.5, to what actually belongs in each paragraph, I’m giving you everything you need to make your letter clean, clear, and compelling.

We’ll talk about why your cover letter should mirror your resume (yep, I said it), how to highlight your strengths with a sharp four-paragraph structure, and why getting to the point is your new best friend. Whether you're actively job hunting or just refreshing your materials, these tips will change how you approach every application you send.

Need some extra help with your resume, cover letter, or interview prep? Head over to Hyreable to work with me directly—and let’s secure the damn job.

Let’s be honest—entrepreneurship is an emotional rollercoaster. In this episode of Five with Fry, I’m back with my mentor Ty Smith for part two of our conversation, and we’re getting into the real stuff: the emotional weight of building something from scratch and how to keep going when things get hard.

We talk about the gut-punch of rejection, the power of hearing “no” as “not yet,” and why learning to take feedback (without taking it personally) is a game-changer. Ty shares stories from the trenches, and we get into how even the most seasoned professionals can find entrepreneurship to be their toughest challenge yet.

Then, we shift gears and talk about something that doesn’t get enough attention: community. Especially for Black and Brown founders, the startup world can feel isolating—but it doesn’t have to be. We break down the dangers of relying only on friends and family for feedback, the trap of scarcity mindset, and the real magic that happens when we choose collaboration over competition.

If you’re building something and feeling the weight of it all, this episode is your reminder that you’re not alone—and that growth comes from both vulnerability and connection. Let’s talk about how to build a business and a community that lasts.

This situation is a textbook case of what happens when we dodge accountability instead of owning our mistakes. As I say in the episode, “Nothing has ever come from someone lying and not apologizing—nothing.” Whether you’re on the track, in a meeting, or navigating personal relationships, authentic apologies matter. They require vulnerability, honesty, and the ability to center the person who was harmed, not our own discomfort.

Tune in for a real talk about accountability, integrity, and why the coverup is almost always worse than the original offense. Let’s break the cycle of fake apologies—and learn how to actually do better.

Follow me on IG, Twitter, and TikTok @JenFryTalks, or connect with me on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry. Stay curious, stay bold, and keep the conversation going.

What if the biggest obstacle to your startup’s success is… you? In this episode of Five with Fry, I sit down with veteran lean startup consultant Tyrome "Ty" Smith to unpack the common missteps that trip up new entrepreneurs—like overconfidence, skipping market research, and asking the wrong questions.

Ty shares wisdom from 25+ years of experience, breaking down why customer discovery isn’t just a box to check—it’s the heartbeat of any successful business. You’ll learn how to conduct meaningful customer interviews, avoid the trap of false validation, and embrace the emotional resilience needed to adapt and grow. Inspired by Frank Gehry’s advice not to fall in love with your first idea, this conversation is a must-listen for founders navigating the messy, exciting world of entrepreneurship.

Stay curious, stay bold, and—most importantly—keep asking the right questions. Got a topic you want us to cover? Let us know!

More about Ty: Tyrome ‘Ty’ Smith has over 25 years of consulting and leading executives and their teams by helping them understand human and organizational dynamics. As part of his work, He developed an innovative education program for the Department of Defense, including coaching and mentoring product development teams engaged in an internal incubator. In addition, he has provided support to several organizations either as faculty or entrepreneur-in-residence, including Bowie State University, University of Maryland Innovation Extension Program, StreetCode Academy, Digital Undivided, and TechStars. Connect with him on LinkedIn.

We hear a lot about hard skills—degrees, certifications, technical know-how. But what about soft skills? You know, the ones that actually determine whether you thrive in your workplace.

In this episode of Five with Fry, we're talking about the soft skill that people love to avoid: conflict management.

Too often, conflict gets labeled as a workplace problem when, in reality, it’s an opportunity for growth, innovation, and stronger team dynamics. The issue? Most of us haven’t been taught how to navigate it. Organizations talk about wanting leaders, but do they prioritize skills like communication, problem-solving, and de-escalation in their hiring processes?

Here’s what we’re digging into:

• Why the soft skills vs. hard skills debate is misleading
• How conflict resolution can transform work culture (and your career)
• Why companies need to rethink job descriptions to highlight what really matters

Conflict isn’t something to avoid. It’s something to get better at. Tune in to this conversation and start seeing soft skills as the real power moves in your career.

If this episode resonates with you, subscribe, share, and leave a review.

What happens when a seemingly harmless sports tradition gets people fired up about consent?

In this episode of Five with Fry, we’re talking about clipping—a popular trend in volleyball where players pin decorated clothespins onto each other. Sounds fun, right? But what happens when a player doesn’t want to be clipped? What happens when a young girl feels uncomfortable but doesn’t know how to say no?

That’s where this conversation takes a turn.

When I brought up concerns about this in a volleyball moms Facebook group, the backlash was real. People argued that clipping was “just for fun” and that “no harm was meant.” But here’s the thing: intent doesn’t override consent.

This episode isn’t just about sports—it’s about the bigger lesson we should be teaching young girls: how to set and enforce their boundaries. If we don’t give them the space to practice saying no in low-stakes situations, how can we expect them to do it when it really matters?

We’re diving into:

• Why traditions like clipping highlight the challenges young girls face in asserting themselves.
• The difference between good intentions and real consent.
• How early consent education builds confidence and autonomy.
• Why empowering girls to say “no” isn’t about taking the fun away—it’s about ensuring their voices are heard.

This isn’t about overreacting. It’s about recognizing how small moments teach big lessons. And if we want to raise a generation of young women who know how to hold their boundaries, we need to start paying attention.

Tune in to this episode of Five with Fry and let’s talk about why consent always matters—even when it’s “just for fun.”

Let’s talk about Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl halftime show—the performance that had some people on their feet and others scratching their heads. Was it a cultural masterpiece, or did it just not land for you? Either way, that’s completely okay—because not everything is meant for everyone.

On this episode of Five with Fry, we’re diving into the mixed reactions to Kendrick’s performance—what worked, what didn’t, and why some folks just couldn’t connect with it. We’ll unpack:

• Why audience expectations don’t always align with an artist’s vision
• The importance of understanding that not all art is made for you
• How critiques around politics, sound issues, and style reveal deeper biases
• The wisdom of a white mom teaching her kids that stepping outside their comfort zone is a good thing

If you loved it, let’s talk about why. If you didn’t, let’s explore what that means. Because in a world where entertainment is more than just mindless fun—it’s also cultural, political, and personal—it’s worth asking: What happens when we challenge ourselves to engage with art beyond our own experiences?

Join me for this deep (and fun!) dive into what it means to appreciate, critique, and expand our understanding of performance, culture, and artistic expression.

Dr. Farris, an expert on social conditioning, breaks down how ingrained behaviors—like the fear of making waves or the need for approval—can lead to silence when it matters most. We explore five critical questions that challenge white women to confront their complicity, embrace discomfort, and align their values with action.

From personal accountability to the risks (and rewards) of speaking out, we dive into what it truly takes to shift from performative allyship to transformative leadership. It’s time to break free from social norms that prioritize comfort over justice.

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Dr. Victoria Farris is a transformational leadership facilitator and coach working with executive leaders who want to move beyond surface-level DEI efforts and truly create inclusive, high-performing teams. Her approach combines leadership development, strategic alignment, and trust-building frameworks to equip teams with the tools they need for lasting impact. Her research focuses on understanding, from the perspectives of folks of color, what white people can do to disrupt and dismantle systems of racism, and she has developed a framework for effective allyship that outlines an action-based guide for disrupting racism on individual, group, and organization levels. Victoria is also a mother, activist, hypnotherapist, and avid joy seeker.

In this episode of Five with Fry, I’m sharing my own journey from hating feedback to embracing it as a catalyst for change. Inspired by Wes Kao’s expertise in communication, I dive into the power of precise, intentional feedback—because “looks good” just doesn’t cut it.

Here’s what we’re tackling:

• Why vague feedback isn’t helpful & how to be more specific
• How to receive feedback with grace (even when it’s uncomfortable)
• The role of feedback in resolving conflicts—at work, in sports, and in families
• Practical strategies to create a feedback-friendly environment

Feedback isn’t about tearing people down—it’s about building them up. But that only happens when we learn how to give it clearly and receive it without shutting down.

Ready to level up your feedback game? 🎧 Tune in now, and let’s break the cycle of defensive reactions and unclear communication.

And as always, let me know—what’s the best (or worst) feedback you’ve ever received? DM me on IG/Twitter/TikTok @JenFryTalks or find me on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry. Let’s keep the conversation going!

Let’s be clear: boundaries aren’t just important; they’re transformative. They protect personal space, emotional well-being, and autonomy. And they aren’t just for adults—kids need to learn to advocate for themselves too. If we want future generations to grow into confident, self-respecting individuals, we have to shift the mindset that setting limits equals defiance.

In this episode, we’re breaking it all down:

• The societal pushback against setting boundaries with family
• Why teaching kids to say "no" is an act of empowerment
• Cultural expectations that blur the lines of parental access
• How boundaries create healthier, more respectful relationships

Remember: if you love what you hear, don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review! Want me to tackle a specific topic? Drop me a message. You can follow me on IG, Twitter, and TikTok @JenFryTalks or find me on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry. Let’s keep the conversation going!