In our conversation, Tosha and I got into the roots of aggressive behavior in boys, and how it’s so often a signal, not of defiance, but of fear or frustration. We explored how society often mislabels boys as “bad” when they make mistakes with little room for second chances. Tosha shared what it means to truly listen to our kids, how to build safe spaces for them to express themselves without shame, and why emotional connection, not punishment, is the key to long-term growth and emotional development.

In today’s episode, you’ll meet Jude Carn, a certified Level 3 Internal Family Systems (IFS) psychotherapist, international consultant, and passionate advocate for neurodiversity. Jude walks us through the core concepts of IFS, explains how this framework can be especially healing for neurodivergent people, who often grow up feeling misunderstood, judged, or exiled, and shares insights on how IFS offers a respectful, empowering approach to trauma that allows each person to move at their own pace. Jude explains that recognizing and befriending one’s own parts can lead to deeper self-acceptance and a better relationship with ourselves.

In this episode, we dive into the origins of SSP, the science behind it, and what makes it such a powerful tool for supporting emotional regulation—especially for people navigating trauma and neurodivergence. Stephen and Karen share stories from real-life applications of the protocol, explain how co-regulation plays a central role, and highlight the many ways SSP can foster connection and resilience. Whether you’re new to polyvagal theory or already familiar, this is a hopeful and inspiring conversation about what’s possible when we work with the nervous system to support healing.

Note: This is a special release of an expert conversation held inside the Differently Wired Club. Enjoy!

We get into all kinds of topics in this conversation, including the story behind FlexSchool’s creation and the philosophy that drives it, the power of talent-based learning, and how teachers and schools can become places of trust, safety, and joy for 2e kids who have often felt like misfits. Jacqui also shares insights into how behavioral issues in 2e students are often identity crises, and what it means to support their growth across the full arc of their lives.

I’m a single parent, neurodivergent myself and in burnout. I’m trying to manage my two neurodivergent kids following a divorce from their much beloved but profoundly limited ex -husband. I’m trying to create a safe, stable household and support my own fragile mental health and grief while working full -time. Self -care sounds great and whereas I understand deeply that it’s the only way forward, it feels impossible. (Context: Two children, ages 9 and 11 year old. They take out their anger on each other and the household feels explosive.)

I love talking with people who take their personal experiences and hard-earned wisdom and turn them into tools to help others feel more supported and confident. That’s exactly what Sara did, and today, she shares her journey with us. You’ll hear how she navigated her divorce and used her daughter’s anxiety as an opportunity to learn the power of visual schedules and open communication in helping kids cope with tough situations. She also discusses the series of children’s books she’s written to help parents tackle heavy topics like chronic illness, hospice, cancer, and emotions. One thing that really stood out to me was how going through hard times can actually prepare our kids to live with uncertainty.

In today’s episode, we explored why embracing neurodiversity in schools benefits every student, not just those with IEPs. Amanda and Emily unpacked the barriers to change in education, including stigma and fear, and introduce how strategies like Universal Design for Learning (UDL) can be used to create inclusive classrooms. We also discussed the Neurodiversity Affirming Teacher’s Compact, a framework for educators to embrace diverse learning needs, and finally, the importance of fostering self-advocacy skills in neurodivergent students. As you’ll hear in the conversation, this is not about calling teachers and schools out, it’s about calling them in and working together to make education serve each individual student. Enjoy this conversation with Emily Kircher-Morris and Amanda Morin.

In this conversation, we talk about the unique mental health challenges boys are facing today, from increased isolation and anxiety to the messages they are getting from society that are leading to self-doubt and emotional struggles. We also discussed how the pandemic intensified these issues and why paying attention to the media they are consuming is key to connecting with them. John also shared how neurodivergent boys may experience these challenges differently and shared practical strategies for fostering emotional resilience and self-worth. If you’re raising a boy and you are worried about their emotional well-being or feel unsure about how to support them in a rapidly changing world, this is a powerful listen.

Today’s episode features a rich and deep conversation about some of the concepts they support parents in navigating in their new workbook, like why fostering autonomy is key to motivation, emotional well-being, and long-term success, why connection matters more than control, how to support our kids without trying to change them, and ways we can create a home environment that builds confidence and trust. They also share practical strategies for effective communication, including how to guide our kids through challenges without adding pressure or anxiety. As parents, it is scary to let go of control and to trust our kids to navigate their own problems, but as you’ll hear in this conversation, this is exactly what they need to be motivated. We know we can’t change them, but we can support them in finding the reason to change for themselves.

In our conversation, Tamara shared her personal and professional insights on what it really means to live in an ADHD family, from the emotional rollercoasters to the quirky dynamics that might feel familiar to you. We talked about how ADHD deeply affects relationships, communication, and emotional regulation across the whole family system. Tamara offered creative, relatable metaphors that help make sense of ADHD behaviors, and she emphasized the importance of self-awareness and revisiting our own childhoods to parent with more clarity and empathy.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• Why agency in learning is essential for neurodivergent children to build confidence, reduce anxiety, and stay engaged
• How self-directed education supports children—especially those with PDA—by minimizing pressure and honoring their natural pace
• Why respecting a child’s right to say no is foundational for creating a safe, trust-based learning environment
• How understanding the cycle of demand avoidance helps reframe “bad behavior” as a response to overwhelm, not defiance
• Why shifting away from rigid definitions of academic success can open the door to more authentic growth and capability
• How prioritizing the parent-child relationship and finding community support helps families confidently navigate less conventional paths

Resources mentioned

• ⁠Dr. Naomi Fisher’s website⁠
• ⁠Naomi Fisher on Substack⁠
• ⁠A Different Way to Learn⁠ by Naomi Fisher
• ⁠Eliza Fricker Talks About Parenting a Child with PDA⁠ (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• ⁠Eliza Fricker’s website⁠
• ⁠The Family Experience of PDA⁠ by Eliza Fricker
• ⁠Eliza Fricker / Missing the Mark on Facebook⁠
• ⁠Changing Our Minds: How Children Can Take Control of Their Own Learning⁠ by Naomi Fisher
• ⁠What Can We Do When School’s Not Working: An Illustrated Handbook for Professionals⁠ by Naomi Fisher
• ⁠Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Model

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Why being “happier” is a worthy goal for all parents
• How leading with our kids’ deficits shapes our experience
• What’s getting in our way from being happier as parents
• How to make small changes to address challenges and weave more happiness into their daily life
• The importance of zooming out and getting clear on our big, personal goals
• Recognize how “in choice” we are in our parenting lives
• KJ’s thoughts on how to make screen time policies work better for families
• Why it’s okay (even good) for us as parents to be happy even when our kids aren’t
• KJ’s strategies for training our brain to go down the happiness path

When I last had Neil on the show, we talked about control battles with teens, and if you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly encourage you to go back and check it out here. In today’s episode, we’re tackling an equally important topic, and one I think will resonate deeply with our audience here: Parental Burnout.

In our conversation, Neil will explain what exactly parental burnout is and how it negatively impacts parents and families, tell us how to identify it, and share his strategies for recovering from it. If you regularly feel frustrated and exhausted and are experiencing high levels of stress in relation to your parenting life, this is an episode you will definitely want to listen to.

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• What parental burnout is and why parents of differently-wired kids are especially susceptible to it
• The importance of making sure our emotional needs are met when it comes to preventing burnout
• Why moms experience parental burnout more frequently than dads
• What recovery from parental burnout looks like, and how long it takes
• How to help teens with a fixed mindset develop a growth mindset

Jonathan’s most recent book is How To Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom, and so today I asked him to talk with us about his book and what we as parents raising different wired kids can learn about creating more purpose and meaning in our daily lives, even when we may sometimes feel as though we don’t have the bandwidth or energy or wherewithal to do so. I hope you enjoy our conversation!

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• The impetus for Jonathan’s book How to Live a Good Life
• Why the 3 main “buckets” for living a good life are connection, contribution, and vitality
• Why nurturing ourselves and connecting with our purpose is a key part of being able to show up for our kids
• How learning how to “own the unknown” can eliminate much personal suffering
• Why early intervention with differently wired kids is so critical
• The power of cultivating more compassion in our lives
• What parents can expert in their journey of supporting their kids

I love Sheryl’s compassionate approach to mind and body awareness, something she has no doubt gleaned as the mother of three differently wired children herself. In our conversation, we talk about the surprising ways that the stress of our current situation might manifest, the ABCs of Integration and what that means, specific ways to reconnect with yourself, and much more. I gained so much from this conversation and I hope you do too.  

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Sheryl’s background and how she came to this work
• How the culmination of stress over our lifetime can manifest in our bodies
• The importance of re-integrating within ourselves, and reconnecting with our bodies
• What are the ABCs  of Integration: Awareness, Body, Compassion
• Strategies and tips for implementing body awareness
• Sheryl’s words of wisdom for re-entry to school and new routines

In our conversation, Kristin shares what she has learned about self-compassion, both through her research and her own experiences parenting an autistic child. She goes deep into what self-compassion really looks like,  why we are often more compassionate to others than ourselves, and shares some strategies for strengthening that self-compassion muscle both for ourselves and our kids. 

This is a powerful conversation and I promise you will finish this episode feeling uplifted, empowered to be more gentle with yourself, and perhaps most importantly, reminded that you are not alone. There is nothing we need to hear more right now. I’m so grateful to Kristin for sharing her wisdom and research. 

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• How Dr. Neff got into the work of self-compassion research
• What it looks like to practice self-compassion
• Why we judge ourselves so harshly and what keeps us from being a better self-friend
• What it means to practice self-comfort
• Strategies parents can use to accept and BE with their suffering
• How to teach kids and teens about self-compassion

During our conversation, Laura shared her definition of tranquility, the common myths that get in the way of building more peace in our lives, and why it’s so important for families to have adventures together. She also shared multiple strategies that I promise are easy enough to implement. And again, even though they might seem like small shifts, they can have a big impact in your world.

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Laura’s definition of tranquility and pushing back against the perception of not having enough time
• Advice for parents who want to better manage their energy and find tranquility by Tuesday
• The barriers and myths that get in the way of building peace and tranquility
• Strategies to poke holes and reframe the stories that we tell ourselves
• Why it’s so important for families to have adventures together
• Simple “rules” or guidelines that can be game-changers in your daily life

And to talk with us all about this is Dr. Amy Hoyt, a mom of five children, three of whom are differently wired, and an author, podcaster and speaker passionate about helping others learn skills that allow them to parent and live with intention and agency. During this conversation, you’ll hear us talk about what agency and choice look like in the context of parenting and how micro choices can help us develop an internal locus of control, which is critical for us to have. Amy also gave us a few short, easy practices we can do that will help us strengthen our sense of agency, as well as reset our nervous system, which for so many of is us in need of support, especially if we tend to operate in a more hypervigilant state due to stressors in our parenting lives.

And because Amy is an expert in trauma, we actually begin our conversion by talking about how residual trauma in adults can be triggered by our parenting journey and how it might show up, especially when we’re raising differently wired kids and we may be differently wired ourselves. And on that note, a quick trigger warning – in the beginning of this conversation, Amy shares why working in trauma is something she felt called to do, and as part of that, talks about abuse she experienced as a child. So please take care of yourself if that’s a subject that is difficult for you. 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• What trauma is and how it can show up in our lives and bodies
• Where to start if you want to get to know and work to heal your own trauma
• What a physiological sigh is and how you can use it to reset your nervous system
• What agency is in the context of parenting, and why it’s so important to have
• What it means to be “in choice” in our parenting lives, and how micro choices can help develop an internal locus of control
• How agency and trauma are connected

In our conversation, we talk about the difference between mindfulness and meditation, using mindfulness practices to re-train our brains to handle difficult emotions, and the importance of not just self-care but self-compassion for parents. 

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Hunter’s story and how she became interested in the intersection of mindfulness and parenting
• What is mindfulness and how it can help parents 
• What is the difference between mindfulness and meditation
• Why most of us block our emotions or become flooded by them and what mindfulness teaches us instead
• Hunter’s best strategies for parents whose kids have big big big feelings
• Why self-compassion is so important and how it helps us to raise good humans

I wanted to bring Heather on the show for this conversation because I hear from so many mothers who are in various states of struggle in their parenting lives — pouring everything into their kids, running on fumes, sacrificing so much, putting incredible pressure on ourselves to do it all and do it well. Yet, as much as we love our kids and want to be their safe place, we can’t do that unless we are being that for ourselves first. Through her work, Heather has helped women realize that their needs are just as important and that 10 minutes daily can make a difference if you’re open to change. Lastly, even though this episode is framed for mothers, it’s a good listen for anyone who is a caregiver, especially if you’ve been feeling like your energy is low or frantic and that has become the norm. 

 Things you’ll learn from this episode

• How motherhood and one’s priorities change as our kids get older
• How trusting in yourself and your intuition can be a powerful ally in motherhood
• What “dying to be a good mother syndrome” is and why so many mothers are living in that space
• How Heather helps moms take the first steps toward choosing themselves and what it actually looks like
• How to approach choosing yourself if you don’t think you have the time

During our talk, Allison and I look at the very real toll of being addicted to certainty, especially for parents raising differently-wired kids, which, as we all know, comes with absolutely zero guarantees and certainty when it comes to what the current path or the future might look like. Allison shares her thoughts about how embracing just one simple word—maybe—can completely transform the way we’re experiencing our everyday lives.

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• The importance of getting clear on our biggest fears
• How our state of mind helps create our child’s state of mind
• The positive side-effect when children can embrace the power of maybe, hope, and possibility rather than perfection
• Why it’s important to have a gratitude practice
• How to stop projecting into the future

I’ve also created a printable PDF cheat sheet of these strategies in case you want to print them out and post them somewhere where you’ll regularly see them and be reminded of the importance of prioritizing YOU. To get the PDF, scroll down!

Things You'll Learn from This Episode:

• How Debbie defines self-care
• 12 ideas for incorporating more self-care into your daily life

I really enjoyed going inside this book because, as we discuss, self-care is so much more than what it appears to be on the surface. Megan Anna considers self-care to be a collective effort that includes the well-being of the community, a framework that really resonated with me. So we talk about that, along with other ideas from Megan Anna’s book, including how internalized ableism can hinder self-care, considerations for navigating self-care for individuals with PDA, and insights into co-regulation, sensory considerations, and how advocacy and accommodations in the workplace can also be forms of self-care.

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Why self-care should be approached with self-attunement and an understanding of one’s own needs
• Why self-care is a collective effort that includes the well-being of the community
• How internalized ableism can hinder self-care and why it’s important to address it
• Ideas for navigating self-care for individuals with PDA regarding autonomy, co-regulation, and sensory considerations
• Ways to practice self-care in the workplace, including self-disclosure, documentation, and setting realistic expectations

Margaret believes that while many of us as parents are busy trying to meet our child’s unique needs, we’re often neglecting our own. In our conversation, she shares her ideas for how parents can shift this dynamic in a way that results in a more peaceful, more rewarding experience all around. The bonus? Our kids reap the biggest benefits.

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• How to feel empowered as a parent so you can be proactively peacefully instead of reactive
• What the process of letting go of the expectations we have of ourselves and who our children “should” be looks like
• How the energy we bring to the table can either positively or negatively impact day-to-day challenges
• The benefits of community support for parents raising differently-wired kids
• What is at the root of much of the frustration we as parents experience
• The simple act with huge benefits: deep breaths
• How taking care of ourselves in rough moments is great modeling for our kids

If you are new to CPS, I highly encourage you to go back and listen to our first conversation for the show, where we explored this approach in detail. But in the meantime, in this conversation we delved into why it’s crucial to shift from a compliance-focused approach to one of collaboration and understanding, even starting as early as age two. We also talked about how what we often label as a "difficult baby" is actually an infant struggling to meet our expectations, how using CPS can significantly enhance their well-being, and why we want to question the underlying reasons behind adult concerns — all of these are concept explored in the powerful new documentary, It's Never Too Early: CPS with Very Young Kids.

We know that anger is a normal, natural, and physiological experience that all human beings are born with the capacity to feel. Yet many neurodivergent kids struggle with knowing how to experience and express their anger constructively, and they are in need of strategies and non-shaming guidance rather than what so often happens – they are punished for their behavior. So that’s what we get into in this episode — why anger in children can be so uncomfortable for adults to tolerate or respond to, strategies for teaching children alternatives to aggression, violence, or passive behavior, name assertiveness, the importance of adults stepping in as calm presences to help regulate a child's emotions and foster healthy coping mechanisms, and more.

By equipping our kids with these tools, we can support their emotional development and help them navigate their feelings more effectively. Enjoy this wisdom-packed episode with Ginger Whitson.

As a psychologist, Robyn has always been passionate about working with those kids who have more tricky or extreme behaviors, and she does that by harnessing the power of neuroscience. Through her work with families, she decodes the latest brain science into easy-to-understand principles and metaphors to help parents become an expert in their child's behavior.

During this episode, Robyn and I explore the core issues underlying nearly all struggles in children — dysregulation, disconnection, or feeling unsafe — and how understanding the brain's operation in either connection mode or protection mode can transform our approach to parenting. We also touched upon Robyn’s metaphors for the three brain states: the owl (calm), the watchdog (vigilant), and the possum (withdrawn), which can help us better understand and respond to our children's needs.

I have a hunch many of you will resonate with Robyn’s experience of feeling like she wasn’t doing enough for the kids she was working with, or that it was her fault they continued to struggle. I know I did. And I also find the reminder that it takes time to figure out how to best support our kids, and ourselves, empowering and optimistic. I hope you feel the same after listening to this episode!

In this conversation, Pat talks about her book Parenting a Teen Who has Intense Emotions, how she supports families using Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT, the three priorities within the DBT framework, some of the critical things to understand to effectively parent emotionally intense kids, and where to start if you are looking for more support for yourself. 

Like I’m sure all of you out there listening, I’ve struggled to find ways to help my child feel hope and optimism about the state of the world — the war in Ukraine, a spate of school shootings, a very polarized political landscape, and catastrophic weather events. 

So I wanted to ask Abigail, the author of the wonderful book When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids, if hope and optimism is possible to find even when things around us feel so unpredictable and chaotic, and if so, how can we cultivate this for our kids in an authentic way?

In our conversation, Abigail shares her ideas for doing that, as well as ways we adults can manage our own fear and worries to be able to show up for our kids, and the importance of guiding kids toward something that makes them feel purpose and meaning.

That’s what we’re going to explore today with my guest Brenda Zane, whose oldest son struggled with an addiction to a high-risk lifestyle and illicit drugs for over five years. After nearly losing him to two fentanyl overdoses, Brenda left her marketing career to serve other families dealing with the fear, confusion, and feelings of helplessness of having a child who’s misusing drugs or alcohol, becoming a family advocate and co-founding the nonprofit organization Hopestream Community, where she serves parents of teens and young adults who struggle with substance misuse and mental health challenges.

This is such a powerful conversation and one I truly recommend all parents to listen to, no matter the age of their children, as it’s important to understand the landscape for drug access and use in the lives of today’s kids. During this episode, Brenda and I talked about the importance of open communication and understanding the reasons behind drug use, the dangers of high-potency THC products in younger users, and the challenges parents face when their teenagers experiment with substances, as well as explore the idea that there is a difference between “typical experimentation” and problematic use when talking about marijuana. I know that this can be one of those uncomfortable topics that many of us would rather avoid thinking about, especially if we have a history of substance abuse in our families, but it’s important for our kids' safety that we do the research and create spaces for these conversations to be had at home.

One last thing, please know that this episode contains references to drug abuse, overdosing, and mental health issues. So do what you need to do to take care of yourself if these are triggering themes for you.

That’s the focus of today’s show and I am absolutely thrilled to be in conversation about it with Kristina Kuzmic, a mental health advocate, author, comedien and self-described “cheerleader for her fellow humans.” Kristina has just come out with a powerful new book I Can Fix This! (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself while Parenting My Struggling Child), in which she writes about her complex journey of parenting a child struggling with mental health and substance abuse. She wrote it to help other struggling parents reject ideas that keep families stuck and, with her trademark authenticity and wisdom, dispel the lies we believe as parents.

This is SUCH a deep, raw, and generous conversation and it is exactly the conversation a parent feeling hopeless and overwhelmed in figuring out how to help their child needs to hear. Truly balm for the soul.

With Sue’s fascinating background, we could have explored many different topics for this episode, but what I wanted to do in this conversation is to have Sue give us an overview of the options available to parents whose kids are struggling with challenging or dangerous behaviors and are in need of more intensive supports. Sue explains the difference between therapeutic boarding schools, residential treatment centers and wilderness programs, what the signals are that a child would benefit from these types of supports, how to identify the best fit program, the possibilities for having programs covered by insurance, and much more.

So I reached out to Ginger Whitson, an author, mental health professional, educator, and expert educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health and invited her to join me on the show. Because the concept of bullying evokes such strong feelings and likely a lot of misunderstanding about what even qualifies as bullying, that’s where I asked Ginger to start — what exactly IS bullying? And does the bullying today’s kids and teens experience look and feel different from back when we were in school? I mean, with the addition of technology, it just feels like a completely different ball game. I also asked Ginger to guide us on how we should best respond if our child tells us they’re being bullied, if there are ways we can “bully proof” our kids, and how we can preemptively prepare them so they feel they have a plan for dealing with negative behavior from other kids.

I invited occupational therapist Beth Liesenfeld of The IEP Lab to answer your questions around how parents can better prepare for an IEP meeting, what actually makes a good IEP, and how we can go about making changes on an IEP if we realize the accommodations aren’t being effective or if a school isn’t following through in a way the IEP outlines.

Beth is an incredibly knowledgeable expert on the subject of IEPs, and as you’ll hear, she’s truly passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increase collaboration between parents and school staff. Through her school experience, Beth saw inequity in parents' ability to advocate for a quality IEP for their child and now teaches parents a 4-step process to effectively advocate for their children within the schools through online workshops and interactive, supportive online courses.

Now… you may be reading this and thinking, I’m not homeschooling my child or “unschooling” isn’t my thing. But I’m going to encourage you to listen to what Blake has to say. Because regardless of your child’s educational circumstances, there is wisdom to be gleaned from Blake’s philosophy on self-directed learning and helping our kids grow up into intrinsically motivated humans who understand themselves and are driven to seek out the information and resources they need to achieve their goals. I also love that Blake’s approach beautifully challenges those traditional timelines that our differently wired kids often don’t meet anyway. So… have a listen and let me know what you think. I’m curious to hear how this lands with you.

It was hard to narrow down what to focus on for this first conversation, but we ultimately decided to talk about how to navigate the tricky situations (yet common for parents raising differently-wired kids) that arise when it becomes clear that a school may not be the best fit for a child and/or that the way a school is supporting a child isn’t adequately meeting their needs. For many parents of atypical kids, school fit is a major issue, and often an incredibly frustrating one, as there is no manual for how to best navigate through it, let alone advocate for one’s child in a way that is best for everyone concerned.

For this episode, Alison brings her unique perspective as both an educator and a parent who’s been in our shoes, to share what it looks like from both sides of the equation.

In the first half of this episode, you’ll hear me talking with Eric Karlan, the co-founder of Ivy Experience, a company providing academic tutoring, standardized test preparation, and essay consulting services. Since 2010, Eric has consulted thousands of high school and graduate school students on their college and graduate school application essays and resumes across the country and around the world. He gave a TEDx Talk in 2018 called “What do I need to know about you?” inspired by his work brainstorming with students on their college application essays. 

Eric and I talked about what’s different in the college admissions process today as a result of the Covid pandemic, and whether or not those changes are here to stay. Eric explains what “test-optional” and “test-blind” policies are and how they affect some students more than others, what schools are doing to bring in more diversity to their student body, and how students might choose to disclose their neurodivergence, disability, or other parts of their identities in their college application. 

Then in the second half of the episode, I’m joined by Elizabeth Hamblet, an expert in college disability services and helping neurodivergent high school students successfully transition to college. Elizabeth began her career as a high school special education teacher and then began working at the college level in the late 1990s. She is now at her third university, where she helps students with time management, organization, reading, and study skills. She offers programs on preparing students for successful college transition. Elizabeth’s newest book, Seven Steps to College Success: A Pathway for Students with Disabilities, will be out in early 2023.

In our conversation, Elizabeth and I talk about what kinds of services colleges may offer students, how to vett schools to find out what kinds of supports and accommodations may be available and how to access them, and what parents should consider when helping their differently wired young adult explore potential colleges.

So, what does a “successful college experience” actually mean? Perry broke it down for us, emphasizing the importance of the core values of awareness, regulation, expression, and dynamic determination. Perry also highlighted the essential skills for independence, such as frustration tolerance and the importance of seeking help when needed, and explored some of the unexpected challenges that students might face, from managing dorm life to maintaining proper sleep hygiene. We also discussed the various resources available on most college campuses and how students can maximize these support services and why meeting with professors can be a game-changer for a struggling student.

We all know that our kids are way more than the grades they get at school and this conversation is full of insights into how to approach the college experience more holistically. I hope you enjoy it!

To explore this topic, I invited Dr. Eric Endlich, a clinical psychologist, founder of Top College Consultants, and expert who guides students with learning differences and mental health challenges through the college application process. I asked Eric how we can determine as parents whether our kid is ready or not for college, what types of gap year experiences for neurodivergent students exist, and how universities perceive a student taking a gap year when considering their application. We also talked about how to find the right program for your student and how to do some voting to make sure it’s the right fit.

As you’ll hear from the episode, Eric has a wealth of knowledge about ways to navigate the sometimes lengthy and unique runway for neurodivergent students. I hope you enjoy this conversation!

We do get a little update from Dave on the admissions landscape, but most of the this episode is dedicated to considering other options for students, including gap years, apprenticeships, taking a few classes at a community college, and most importantly, slowing the whole “launching” process down to support kids who would really benefit from extra time to develop and grow, recover from mental health challenges, destress, and more.

In this episode, Julie and I talk about about what it takes for a child to be successful—looking at how we define success along the way—and explore what we as parents can do to help our child develop the agency they need to become self-actualized adults. I loved having this conversation with Julie and am still noodling on the many takeaways and aha moments I experienced. I hope you get a lot out of it.

 Julie Lythcott-Haims' How to Raise an Adult has been published in over two dozen countries and gave rise to a TED talk that became one of the top TED Talks of 2016 with over 3.5 million views and counting, as well as a forthcoming sequel on how to be an adult, for young adults. Two years later Julie published Real American: A Memoir, a critically-acclaimed and award-winning memoir which examines racism through her experience as a Black and biracial person.

Today, we’re going to be talking about such a pressing consideration for anyone raising a kid these days — what it means for today’s generation of kids to grow up with very public lives and coming of age in a digital world where so many aspects of their lives are online and available for public consumption, not to mention that much of their important work of identity formation is being shaped by the media and technology they interact with.

Devorah gets into all of this in her brand new and essential book for any parent, Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World. For this conversation, I asked Devorah to talk us through what I see as some of the more pressing issues for parents like us, including how to balance a child’s right to privacy in their texts and online lives with valid concerns about online influences and engagement when that child is dealing with anxiety, depression or other mental health disorder, the impact of social media on kids who may already be struggling to fit in and find their people, and how many homework and grading apps used by schools may actually be undermining our kids development of executive function skills and creating additional stress for parents.

These are some of the questions regarding screen time that I hear from many parents, and they highlight some of the ongoing challenges families face in raising children who can be responsible tech users and whose screen use and gaming doesn’t interfere with their lives in a way that can be harmful or keep them stuck.

So when I learned of the new book How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids by Dr. Alok Kanojia, I knew I wanted to invite him onto the show to talk about all things gaming with us.

In this conversation, we talked about how we as parents can know whether our child is addicted to video games or not, why screen time limits and restricting gaming time are at odds with the goal of raising a healthy gamer, and how to shift to a holistic approach that considers overall well-being and goal-setting. We also talked about why children with ADHD are more susceptible to addictive behaviors surrounding gaming and how to raise healthy gamers from a young age.

So I asked my friend and screen and tech expert Dr. Devorah Heitner to join me for a frank and open conversation about it all. We talked about the ways differently wired kids might be exposed to harmful content, and why our kids may be more susceptible to toxic or unhealthy virtual rabbit holes in the first place, the popular places where teens and kids are hanging out the most right now, the way our kids’ worldview and their brain development is impacted they content their engaging with, and what we parents might not know that we should know about regarding this topic.

I reached out to Meryl after reading her new book, Kids Across the Spectrums: Growing Up Autistic in the Digital Age, which explores the often-misunderstood technology practices of young autistic people, as well as what it means to be “social” in a hypermediated society.

So that’s what we get into: the factors that influence a child’s relation to media, how digital media is creating spaces for kids to develop their identities online, and what we – parents, schools – should be doing to better educate kids on safely interacting with online communities and new technologies. We also talked about fandoms and how they have become a part of identity and belonging development, and why every parent needs to spend time understanding how their children are using and consuming media.

Katie and I explore how technology is accelerating the full arc of child development, what the research says about the efficacy of apps that are sold as tools to develop kids’ learning and things like executive function skills and whether or not ADHD symptoms can be exacerbated by technology use. We also discussed gaming disorder and how to support children in their usage of social media while they are developing and exploring their identities.

In this episode, Asher and I detail our current approach for tracking screen time, which we co-designed in such a way that it will help him learn to track his own time, set intentions for how he will spend his time, and stay emotionally regulated both while online and when it’s time to get off (that's the goal, anyway).

​Kristy was diagnosed as autistic at age thirty-three herself, and has committed herself to working with children and adults on the autism spectrum, with a special interest on people who, like her, have a PDA expression. In this episode, we share a deep conversation about how parents can truly tune in to who their children are and show up for them in a way that reflects true respect for their children’s neurodivergence. We cover a lot of ground, including the PDA profile of autism, how parents can get clear about their intentions when exploring interventions for their children on the spectrum, how to support families through periods of intensity and very difficult behavior, and the trauma that can result when children are perpetually in fight, flight, freeze or fawn mode because they’re being forced to conform to a way of being that isn’t true to who they are.

Maria delves into the stigmas Black parents face from within and outside the Black community, how and why she teaches parents to advocate not just for their children but also for themselves, the difficulties Black children face in getting support in schools, the importance of cultural responsiveness from health care and social workers, and much more.

In our conversation, Steve and I talk about neurodivergence, autism, acceptance, tolerance, changing cultures, systemic change, and so much more. As a science writer who researched the history of autism in writing his book for more than five years, Steve brings an incredible breadth of knowledge, as well as passion for the neurodiversity movement, to the show. By the end of this interview I was inspired and motivated for the changes to come, and grateful there are thought leaders like Steve doing this important work in the world. I hope you enjoy our conversation!

In our conversation, Chris explains the three stages of identity development a child goes through in middle school, how we as parents will want to adapt our parenting styles change as our kids reach these stages, and how to navigate our child breaking our trust. We also talked about what individuation is and what it means to become a better companion for our kids, which is a reframe I really love.

Chris Balme is an education leader and writer, passionate about helping young people discover more of their human potential. As Co-Founder and Head of School at Millennium School, a lab school in San Francisco, Chris helped pioneer new learning methods for middle schoolers, based in developmental science. Chris then founded Argonaut, an online program to bring social-emotional learning to more students. He now serves as the Founding Principal of Hakuba International School in Japan, developing learning approaches that foster human and environmental well-being.

We cover a lot of ground in this extra-long episode, including why so many people, including women and girls and people in marginalized groups, are being misdiagnosed or simply “missed,” as well as why it’s critical that we look beyond the stereotypes of autism and gain a rich, nuanced understanding of the autistic experience.

To talk with us about all of this is friend of the podcast Dr. Melissa Neff, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in the assessment of ADHD, depression, anxiety, trauma, nonverbal learning disorder, and autism spectrum disorders, about the diagnostic process.

Melissa Neff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Missoula, MT. She conducts psychological evaluations for children and adults. She specializes in the assessment of giftedness, ADHD, depression, anxiety, trauma, nonverbal learning disorder, and typical and atypical autism spectrum disorders.

In our discussion, we explored their new approach to dyslexia that begins not with definitions but with how the dyslexic mind functions. We covered the various ways dyslexia can manifest beyond reading challenges, why some twice-exceptional dyslexic kids are often overlooked under traditional definitions, and the importance of embracing dyslexia as part of one's identity. We also dove into strategies for advocating with schools to secure accommodations and discussed different ways students can thrive academically.

This updated edition of The Dyslexic Advantage also highlights how a strengths-centered framework is gaining traction in schools and workplaces, plus new insights into the neurobiology underlying dyslexia and its associated strengths. As you’ll hear from Brock and Fernette, understanding dyslexia more fully allows us to open up conversations with educators about alternative learning strategies that may benefit not just our kids, but all students in the classroom.

We cover so much ground in our conversation—all about the implications and prescriptions of “normal”—from the painful messages Jonathan received in his early life, to some of the disturbing research he came across while writing his book. But we also talk about the kind of powerful things that can happen for our kids when we set aside typical conventions, timelines, and expectations, and celebrate their differences. It’s not about just flourishing outside the box, it’s about shattering the box completely.

In this conversation, Laura shares insights from her new book, Discovering Dyscalculia: One Family’s Journey with a Math Disability, which was inspired by her own family’s journey of getting her daughter’s diagnosis, how they navigated working with the school, and finding strategies that work for her beyond her education. Laura also shared many, many strategies and resources for parents who want to learn more about dyscalculia and the early signs that they can look out for if they suspect their child might be struggling with it.

I invited Gil to share his inspiring story of how, as a child, he shifted his relationship with his dyslexia so it became the key to his finding so much success in his creative work, as well as to help listeners better understand the link between dyslexia and creativity. In telling us about his journey and his perspectives on the gifts of neurodivergence, Gil also shares how parents can best support and show up for our dyslexic kids so they have the knowledge and confidence to leverage their unique brains.

Gil is also the creator of a wonderful, empowering initiative called Dear Dyslexia: The Postcard Project, which invites dyslexics of all ages — from students to professionals — to depict their relationship with dyslexia on postcards using words and image, so I asked him to share with us the why behind that initiative and tell us how it’s helping dyslexics everywhere, especially kids, really lean into who they are.

I really enjoyed having this sit down with Gil, someone who is very much on the frontlines of the paradigm shift we’re all a part of. Whether your child is dyslexic, has another learning disability, or is in any way neurodivergent, I hope this conversation feels supportive, inspirational, and motivating for you.

I’m excited to be bringing Heidi on the podcast because not only is she incredibly knowledgeable about dyslexia, but she’s spent many, many years coaching not only children with dyslexia, but teachers and parents. Heidi strongly believes that dyslexia can be an asset—her goal is to help students tap into their potential and increase processing speeds so they can let their true brilliance shine through.

Heidi Nord has been helping students, parents, teachers, and administrators with training in the areas of dyslexia, student success, and mindset development since 2007. Before that, she worked as a teacher and and a reading coach for 16 years, helping hundreds of students and teachers at varying grade levels. Heidi has written four books, including Thought Flipping and Write Right. She helps clients learn easier, grow flexible brain pathways, and generate a positive mindset for success.

I read Carol’s book The Out-of-Sync Child when Asher was about four years old, and I immediately had that sense of YES . . . this is what’s going on, so it was a thrill and honor to get to chat with Carol about what sensory processing is, how to recognize it in kids, what it looks like at different ages, as well as to hear Carol’s thoughts on efforts to get SPD fully recognized as a disorder. This is a fascinating conversation with one of the world’s top voices on SPD—I hope you enjoy it!

In today’s episode, we cover a lot of ground—everything from what a child’s emotional journey is like as he or she comes to understand and accept the way their brain is wired and the correlation between anxiety and ADHD, to how parents can help ADHD kids reduce outbursts and more successfully collaborate with their kids. Sharon also shares with us what she calls her “5 C’s of ADHD Parenting”—her key to successfully supporting these creative kids—as well as gives us her thoughts on medication and ADHD. Get ready for a multitude of takeaways and insights for parents of all differently wired kids, not just those with kids who have attention issues. I hope you enjoy our conversation.

Brendan Mahan, M.Ed., MS., an internationally recognized ADHD/Executive Function expert, a highly engaging, sought-after speaker, and the host of the ADHD Essentials Podcast. A former teacher, mental health counselor, and principal, Brendan provides workshops for parents, educators, and businesses throughout New England. He has presented for the Massachusetts Teachers Association, the Massachusetts School Administrators Association, and the International Conference on ADHD. Brendan helps individuals, families, schools, and businesses manage the challenges of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and neurodiversity through an approach that blends education, collaborative problem-solving, and accountability with compassion, humor, a focus on strengths and growth, and his trademark “Wall of Awful” model. 

Anders has a unique approach to working with his clients, who are anywhere from six years old to adults, and I was really intrigued to learn more about his work and find out what its implications are for our children. His focus is on development his client’s cognitive skills and behaviors to help them be better at managing their time, focus, and temperament, as well as rebuilding their self-worth.

It’s true that the stereotype of a kid with ADHD is that energetic, impulsive, disorganized boy. But in girls especially it can also look like perfectionism and having a hard time receiving feedback, forgetfulness, misreading social cues and struggling with friendships, drifting off, and inconsistency in schoolwork. 

In this episode, you’ll hear about why ADHD in girls often goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, what kind of ineffective coping strategies girls with ADHD may to hide their struggles, and what some of the early symptoms are and how to recognize them. We also talked about the challenges of how rejection sensitive dysphoria, which co-occurs in many people with ADHD, may impact girls, and ADHD burnout.

So… today we’re going to be talking about being a parent with ADHD who is parenting neurodivergent children. Because I know there are endless parenting responsibilities that rely heavily on having solid executive function skills or balancing an inordinate amount of demands and emotional labor, and I know that these same requirements are likely not super strengths for a parent with ADHD.

This is where my guest today, Elaine Taylor-Klaus, found herself — stressed, overwhelmed, and struggling as a mom to three complex kids. When she initially shared with a psychiatrist how badly she was doing and asked if there might be something else going on, she was told, yes, it’s called being a mom.

But Elaine pushed for answers, finally getting a diagnosis of ADHD when she was in her early 40s. That new identification, and the personal development journey it initiated, changed life for Elaine and her family in the best possible way.

This is such a good conversation today, as we get into the many things parents with ADHD typically struggle with, how parents can best support themselves with the emotional and mental demands of parenting, and of course, we touch upon the many strengths of ADHD that can be leveraged to make a neuromixed family work better. I hope you enjoy it!

 Edward (Ned) Hallowell, M.D. is a board-certified child and adult psychiatrist and world authority on ADHD. He is a graduate of Harvard College and Tulane Medical School, and was a Harvard Medical School faculty member for 21 years. He is the Founder of The Hallowell ADHD Centers in Boston MetroWest, New York City, San Francisco, Palo Alto and Seattle.

Dr Hallowell is a New York Times bestselling author and has written 20 books on multiple psychological topics. As the host of the twice-weekly Distraction podcast, Dr. Hallowell explores with guests how to better connect with others and how each of us can implement strategies that can turn modern problems into new-found strengths. 

All that say, I loved having a chance to sit down with Kim and Penn to talk about their brand new book, out next week, called ADHD is Awesome: A Guide to (Mostly) Thriving with ADHD, which they wrote because they are on a mission to reboot how we think about ADHD by taking us inside their ADHD world, and all highs, lows, and moments in between. I think what I loved about their book, and this conversation, the most is that Kim and Penn are real and open about how beautiful, and yes, messy, it can be to navigate family life as a person with ADHD or as someone married to an ADHDer. And so in today’s conversation, that’s what we hear about — how Penn has learned to hack himself to manage his ADHD-related challenges, the ways in which ADHD has enriched their family life, how Kim has reframed her thinking and approach to support Penn’s executive function challenges and be an “ADHD whisperer” while also taking care of her own emotional and mental well-being.