1 Peter 5:6-7, “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 

Definition from Bellevue Christian Counseling:

Christian teen depression is a serious, treatable clinical condition, not just a spiritual failure or phase. Biblical support emphasizes that depression is a journey, not a permanent identity, offering hope alongside professional clinical counseling. 

Emotional changes

Be alert for emotional changes, such as:

• Feelings of sadness, which can include crying spells for no apparent reason
• Frustration or feelings of anger, even over small matters
• Feeling hopeless or empty
• Irritable or annoyed mood
• Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities
• Loss of interest in, or conflict with, family and friends
• Low self-esteem
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Fixation on past failures or exaggerated self-blame or self-criticism
• Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure, and the need for excessive reassurance
• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
• Ongoing sense that life and the future are grim and bleak
• Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide

Behavioral Changes from Mayo Clinic - Watch for changes in behavior, such as:

• Tiredness and loss of energy
• Insomnia or sleeping too much
• Changes in appetite — decreased appetite and weight loss, or increased cravings for food and weight gain
• Use of alcohol or drugs
• Agitation 
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
• Frequent complaints of unexplained body aches and headaches, which may include frequent visits to the school nurse
• Social isolation
• Poor school performance or frequent absences from school
• Less attention to personal hygiene or appearance
• Angry outbursts, disruptive or risky behavior, or other acting-out behaviors
• Self-harm — for example, cutting or burning
• Making a suicide plan or a suicide attempt 

Teen Depression Treatment, from Pax Renewal Center

Teens who receive counseling that integrates both their emotional needs and their spiritual development show remarkable resilience that goes far beyond what traditional therapy alone can provide.

Christian Treatment Helps Teens Realize What They Are Putting Ahead Of God

• Peer Priority (This sounds familiar….)
• Academic Success 
• Romantic Relationships 
• Teen Social Media Culture

Examples Of Helpful Scripture For Depression 

• “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
• "Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you." Psalm 143:7-8
• "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—  my Savior and my God!" Psalm 42:11

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

1 Peter 5:6-7, “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 

Definition from Bellevue Christian Counseling:

Christian teen depression is a serious, treatable clinical condition, not just a spiritual failure or phase. Biblical support emphasizes that depression is a journey, not a permanent identity, offering hope alongside professional clinical counseling. 

Emotional changes

Be alert for emotional changes, such as:

• Feelings of sadness, which can include crying spells for no apparent reason
• Frustration or feelings of anger, even over small matters
• Feeling hopeless or empty
• Irritable or annoyed mood
• Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities
• Loss of interest in, or conflict with, family and friends
• Low self-esteem
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Fixation on past failures or exaggerated self-blame or self-criticism
• Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure, and the need for excessive reassurance
• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
• Ongoing sense that life and the future are grim and bleak
• Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide

Behavioral Changes from Mayo Clinic - Watch for changes in behavior, such as:

• Tiredness and loss of energy
• Insomnia or sleeping too much
• Changes in appetite — decreased appetite and weight loss, or increased cravings for food and weight gain
• Use of alcohol or drugs
• Agitation 
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
• Frequent complaints of unexplained body aches and headaches, which may include frequent visits to the school nurse
• Social isolation
• Poor school performance or frequent absences from school
• Less attention to personal hygiene or appearance
• Angry outbursts, disruptive or risky behavior, or other acting-out behaviors
• Self-harm — for example, cutting or burning
• Making a suicide plan or a suicide attempt 

Teen Depression Treatment, from Pax Renewal Center

Teens who receive counseling that integrates both their emotional needs and their spiritual development show remarkable resilience that goes far beyond what traditional therapy alone can provide.

Christian Treatment Helps Teens Realize What They Are Putting Ahead Of God

• Peer Priority (This sounds familiar….)
• Academic Success 
• Romantic Relationships 
• Teen Social Media Culture

Examples Of Helpful Scripture For Depression 

• “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
• "Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you." Psalm 143:7-8
• "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—  my Savior and my God!" Psalm 42:11

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Psalm 51:10-12, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

After The Affair - 10 Steps Toward Healing, from Leslie Vernick

1. Does the spouse who committed adultery take ownership and repent for his or her choice without blaming? 

2. Is there a willingness on the part of the adulterer to do the work of self-examination to understand better what happened and look at the deep heart issues?

3. Is there genuine sorrow for the pain he/she has caused the spouse? 

4. Is the adulterous spouse willing to sit with his/her spouse and really listen to the hurt and heartache over this and show compassion, empathy and care no matter how long it takes?

5. Is the injured spouse willing to forgive even if right now he/she doesn’t know how to do that?

6. Is the injured spouse willing to take a hard look at ways he/she may have contributed to neglect in the marriage or other unresolved problems that created emotional distancing to develop?

7. Is the injured spouse willing to be honest with her feelings of sadness, hurt, anger and do the hard work to work through them and move past them?

8. Is the injured spouse willing to acknowledge the positive changes his/her spouse is making toward rebuilding trust and healing the marriage?

9. Is the couple able to tolerate that the healing process goes in fits and starts; it isn’t a smooth ride?

10. Is the spouse who committed adultery willing to be patient with the process as his/her spouse struggles to let it go, gets retriggered with old memories or current reminders, or can’t immediately feel trust or warm feelings for his/her spouse? 

Hope Restored Focus on the Family

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Psalm 51:10-12, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

Forgive with intelligence

Your spouse cheated. Your trust for them has nearly diminished and there's good reason for that. So, you must act accordingly.

The reason why you're looking for ways to forgive your spouse is because your mind isn't allowing you to.

It's playing scenarios in your head of them doing it again and it pains you.

Does investigating your spouse make you a bad person?

If your spouse gave you reasons to be weary of them? No. They broke your trust. All bets are off.

If they lied and betrayed you, why should they get the privilege of being trusted immediately? 

They committed the ultimate love crime.  And let's face it, some cheaters just get better at hiding it once they've been caught. 

Worriedlovers.com

Before proceeding, you should look for evidence of genuine “godly sorrow” (2 Corinthians 7:10) as opposed to the “worldly sorrow” which simply says, “I’m sorry I got caught.” A key indicator of a godly sorrow would include a willingness on the part of your spouse to talk with a marriage counselor who can assess his vulnerabilities, as well as the weaknesses of your relationship.

Confront Honestly

That’s because you need to meet this challenge from a position of strength and self-assurance.

When you’re ready, arrange a time to sit down and talk with your spouse. Choose a private meeting place where you know you won’t be interrupted. Approach the subject honestly and straightforwardly. The crisis in your marriage is emotionally charged but stay calm and cool. To achieve this, most people need to write out what they are going to say.

Often it is necessary to do a more formal intervention, where several people show up to confront the offending spouse at a designated time without his or her foreknowledge. This formal intervention should not be confused with that of individual people confronting your spouse over time.

Prayerfully consider who these people might be and meet with them together ahead of time so that you can explain your situation and provide them with the important facts.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Matthew 11:28-30 – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Sleep, Body and Brain

We spend approximately a third of our lives asleep.

• Sleep is an essential and involuntary process, without which we cannot function effectively. 
• The body’s fuel is sleep. Without proper sleep, our minds begin to slow, unable to operate at their full potential. This happens until the mind becomes so deprived of the rest it needs, it breaks down. And without the commander-in-chief acting accordingly, the rest of the body pays the price.
• It is as essential to our bodies as eating, drinking and breathing.
• Sleeping helps to repair and restore our brains, not just our bodies. 
• During sleep we can process information, consolidate memories, and undergo a number of maintenance processes that help us to function during the daytime.
• Poor sleep over a sustained period leads to a number of problems which are immediately recognizable, including fatigue, sleepiness, poor concentration, lapses in memory, and irritability.
• There is no universal answer to the question of how much sleep a person needs. This varies from person to person. What is important is that people respect themselves enough to find out how much sleep they need and ensure that they achieve it.
• The amygdala is in charge of our emotional responses. But to do its job correctly it needs us to sleep, because that’s the time it’s allocated to process emotion.
• The prefrontal cortex, does as well. The prefrontal cortex does a lot of impressive things. One of which is being “the voice of reason” to our emotions (aka putting the brakes on our amygdala when it’s being a diva). The prefrontal cortex helps control our impulses, attention, inhibition, emotion, and complex learning.

 Helps

• Sleep should get as much attention as depression and anxiety prevention gets.
• People with insomnia are 10 and 17 times more likely than those without insomnia to experience clinically significant levels of depression and anxiety, respectively. (National Library of Medicine)

Helpful Sleep Strategies from Mayo Clinic 

• Manage Worries
• Try to resolve your worries or concerns before bedtime. Jot down what's on your mind and then set it aside for tomorrow.
• Stress Management might help. Start with the basics, such as getting organized, setting priorities and delegating tasks. Meditation also can ease anxiety.

Sleep killer 1: Anxiety - Compounding the problem is the fact that a lack of sleep can also worsen any anxiety you may be experiencing. (Gale.com)

It shows the importance of managing and working on your anxiety very important.

The Grateful Exercise 

Progressive Muscle Strategy

Writing Down The Important things You Will Try To Remember Through The Night

Stick to a sleep schedule

Set aside no more than eight hours for sleep. The recommended amount of sleep for a healthy adult is at least seven hours. Most people don't need more than eight hours in bed to be well rested.

Go to bed and get up at the same time every day, including weekends. Being consistent reinforces your body's sleep-wake cycle.

If you don't fall asleep within about 20 minutes of going to bed, leave your bedroom and do something relaxing. Read or listen to soot

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Colossians 3:13-14 "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

From Focus on the Family, these tips:

Do Make Jesus The Center of Your Marriage.

Don’t Embrace UnGodly Trends

Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord."

Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

Ephesians 5:33 "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

Be Quick to Listen, Not Quick to Get Angry

James 1:19  "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."

The Communication Highway is vital here.

Do Use Your Words to Encourage, Don’t Use them to Harm or Manipulate 

James 3:8 "But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

Celebrate Each other

Do Be Willing to Forgive, Don’t Hold Grudges

 I Corinthians 13:5 "It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

“The Best Marriage Advice I have Ever Heard”, From Cara Joiner

In Scripture we find that forgiveness is an action made in the midst of negative feelings, making it a beautiful expression of love.

Stay Emotionally Connected

Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

I Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

Forgiveness. Healing, Prayer and Scripture Fuel Emotional Connection 

Physical intimacy ( Bedroom Olympics 😀)

It is an essential aspect of a passionate marriage. In Song of Solomon 1:2, the Bible celebrates the physical union of husband and wife: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine.” 

Investing Time And Effort 

Maintaining physical intimacy – from caring hugs to satisfying sex – helps keep the passion alive in your marriage. Make physical affection a regular part of your daily routine. Hold hands, hug, kiss, and cuddle.

Gottman’s Marriage Tips

Turn Toward Instead of Away: Respond positively to small bids for connection (e.g., a glance, a touch, a question) rather than ignoring them.

Nurture Fondness and Admiration: Regularly express appreciation and respect to build a positive, supportive environment.

The Magic Six Hours: Dedicate 6 hours per week to your relationship, including parting, reunions, admiration, affection, and weekly dates. 

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Colossians 3:13-14 "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

From Focus on the Family, these tips:

Do Make Jesus The Center of Your Marriage.

Don’t Embrace UnGodly Trends

Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord."

Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

Ephesians 5:33 "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

Be Quick to Listen, Not Quick to Get Angry

James 1:19  "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."

The Communication Highway is vital here.

Do Use Your Words to Encourage, Don’t Use them to Harm or Manipulate 

James 3:8 "But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

Celebrate Each other

Do Be Willing to Forgive, Don’t Hold Grudges

 I Corinthians 13:5 "It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

“The Best Marriage Advice I have Ever Heard”, From Cara Joiner

In Scripture we find that forgiveness is an action made in the midst of negative feelings, making it a beautiful expression of love.

Stay Emotionally Connected

Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

I Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

Forgiveness. Healing, Prayer and Scripture Fuel Emotional Connection 

Physical intimacy ( Bedroom Olympics 😀)

It is an essential aspect of a passionate marriage. In Song of Solomon 1:2, the Bible celebrates the physical union of husband and wife: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine.” 

Investing Time And Effort 

Maintaining physical intimacy – from caring hugs to satisfying sex – helps keep the passion alive in your marriage. Make physical affection a regular part of your daily routine. Hold hands, hug, kiss, and cuddle.

Gottman’s Marriage Tips

Turn Toward Instead of Away: 

Respond positively to small bids for connection (e.g., a glance, a touch, a question) rather than ignoring them.

Nurture Fondness and Admiration: Regularly express appreciation and respect to build a positive, supportive environment.

The Magic Six Hours: 

Dedicate 6 hours per week to your relationship, including parting, reunions, admiration, affection, and weekly dates. 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Genesis 2:24 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

Every February, Tom & Scott celebrate “Love Month”. Mostly because Valentine’s Day is also Tom’s Anniversary (celebrating 51 years this year!). We also this to celebrate God’s gift of marriage, and to encourage you in your marriage.

Not much in the notes this time, just 7 “It’s not normal” thoughts from marriage coaches Tommy and Dianne McCollister:

It’s not normal to not have intimacy for weeks

 It’s not normal to neglect emotional connection

 It’s not normal to consistently feel unhappy in your marriage

 It’s not normal to always prioritize parenting over your partner

 It’s not normal to avoid spending quality time together

 It’s not normal to prefer work over your home

 It’s not normal to have nothing to talk about with your spouse

 Here’s the link to the YouTube video Tom and I talked through on these 2 episodes:

https://youtube.com/shorts/ufVHSRSx32E?si=f9IVAjRwW_bz5WkK

 If your marriage is full of these “It’s not normals”, get the normal back in your marriage by contacting Tom today. Thanks for listening! 

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Genesis 2:24 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

Every February, Tom & Scott celebrate “Love Month”. Mostly because Valentine’s Day is also Tom’s Anniversary (celebrating 51 years this year!). We also this to celebrate God’s gift of marriage, and to encourage you in your marriage.

Not much in the notes this time, just 7 “It’s not normal” thoughts from marriage coaches Tommy and Dianne McCollister:

It’s not normal to not have intimacy for weeks

 It’s not normal to neglect emotional connection

 It’s not normal to consistently feel unhappy in your marriage

 It’s not normal to always prioritize parenting over your partner

 It’s not normal to avoid spending quality time together

 It’s not normal to prefer work over your home

 It’s not normal to have nothing to talk about with your spouse

 Here’s the link to the YouTube video Tom and I talked through on these 2 episodes:

https://youtube.com/shorts/ufVHSRSx32E?si=f9IVAjRwW_bz5WkK

 If your marriage is full of these “It’s not normals”, get the normal back in your marriage by contacting Tom today. Thanks for listening! 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Psalm 145:1-5

I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever.

Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts. They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty—and I will meditate on your wonderful works.

Ages:

• Baby Boomers: Born 1946–1964 (Ages ~60-79)
• Generation X (Gen X): Born 1965–1980 (Ages ~45-59)
• Millennials (Gen Y): Born 1981–1996 (Ages ~29-44)
• Generation Z (Gen Z): Born 1997–2012 (Ages ~13- 

University of Southern California

Key Differences in Summary: 

• Baby Boomers: Optimistic, tradition-focused, post-war prosperity. 
• Gen X: Independent, pragmatic, cynical, bridging eras. 
• Gen Z: Digitally fluent, diverse, experience-driven, socially conscious.

Purdue University

The Encouraging Data Points

• Youth Engagement: Younger generations (Gen Z, Millennials) are showing increased commitment to Jesus, Bible reading, and church attendance, particularly younger men.
• Spiritual Curiosity: There's a noted rise in spiritual openness and interest not seen in past years.
• Global Growth: Christianity continues rapid growth in Africa and globally, with fewer atheists worldwide. 

 Barna Group

Baby Boomers (1946-1964)

• Marriage as Norm: Grew up with strong societal pressure to marry, resulting in the highest marriage rates.
• High Divorce Rates: Their era normalized divorce, leading to the highest divorce rates among generations, with rates rising with age. (Scott finds this interesting)
• Interracial marriage wasn't legal nationwide until 1967.

Generation X (1965-1980)

• Practical Approach: Bridged traditional and modern views, valuing financial stability and practicality in weddings.
• Cohabitation: Many supported cohabiting before marriage as a way to prevent divorce.
• High Satisfaction: Studies suggest Gen X couples report the highest marital satisfaction. 

Millennials (1981-1996)

• Delayed Marriage: Married later and less frequently than prior generations, with lower overall marriage rates.
• Cohabitation & Trial Runs: Increased cohabitation before marriage, viewing it as a practical step.
• Diversity: More open to interracial and interfaith marriages. 

Generation Z (1997-2010)

• Continued Delay: Following Millennial trends, they are postponing marriage and other milestones.
• Lower Marriage Projections: Expected to have even lower marriage rates than Millennials.
• Authenticity: Value authenticity and are open to diverse relationships (interfaith/interracial). 

 Key Takeaways

• Shift from Institution to Partnership: Marriage is increasingly seen less as a societal requirement (Boomers) and more as a personal choice for fulfillment (Millennials/Gen Z).
• Financial & Practical Focus: Gen X prioritized affordability, while Millennials and Gen Z focus on experience and value, even in weddings.
• Evolving Definitions: Acceptance of cohabitation, interracial, and interfaith marriages has grown significantly from Boomers to Gen Z. 

Generation X (1965-1980)

• Practical Approach: Bridged traditional and modern views, valuing financial stability and practicality in weddings.
• Cohabitation: Many supported cohabiting before marriage as a way to prevent divorce.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Psalm 145:1-5

I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever.

Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts. They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty—and I will meditate on your wonderful works.

Ages:

• Baby Boomers: Born 1946–1964 (Ages ~60-79)
• Generation X (Gen X): Born 1965–1980 (Ages ~45-59)
• Millennials (Gen Y): Born 1981–1996 (Ages ~29-44)
• Generation Z (Gen Z): Born 1997–2012 (Ages ~13- 

University of Southern California

Key Differences in Summary: 

• Baby Boomers: Optimistic, tradition-focused, post-war prosperity. 
• Gen X: Independent, pragmatic, cynical, bridging eras. 
• Gen Z: Digitally fluent, diverse, experience-driven, socially conscious.

Purdue University

The Encouraging Data Points

• Youth Engagement: Younger generations (Gen Z, Millennials) are showing increased commitment to Jesus, Bible reading, and church attendance, particularly younger men.
• Spiritual Curiosity: There's a noted rise in spiritual openness and interest not seen in past years.
• Global Growth: Christianity continues rapid growth in Africa and globally, with fewer atheists worldwide. 

 Barna Group

Baby Boomers (1946-1964)

• Marriage as Norm: Grew up with strong societal pressure to marry, resulting in the highest marriage rates.
• High Divorce Rates: Their era normalized divorce, leading to the highest divorce rates among generations, with rates rising with age. (Scott finds this interesting)
• Interracial marriage wasn't legal nationwide until 1967.

Generation X (1965-1980)

• Practical Approach: Bridged traditional and modern views, valuing financial stability and practicality in weddings.
• Cohabitation: Many supported cohabiting before marriage as a way to prevent divorce.
• High Satisfaction: Studies suggest Gen X couples report the highest marital satisfaction. 

Millennials (1981-1996)

• Delayed Marriage: Married later and less frequently than prior generations, with lower overall marriage rates.
• Cohabitation & Trial Runs: Increased cohabitation before marriage, viewing it as a practical step.
• Diversity: More open to interracial and interfaith marriages. 

Generation Z (1997-2010)

• Continued Delay: Following Millennial trends, they are postponing marriage and other milestones.
• Lower Marriage Projections: Expected to have even lower marriage rates than Millennials.
• Authenticity: Value authenticity and are open to diverse relationships (interfaith/interracial). 

 Key Takeaways

• Shift from Institution to Partnership: Marriage is increasingly seen less as a societal requirement (Boomers) and more as a personal choice for fulfillment (Millennials/Gen Z).
• Financial & Practical Focus: Gen X prioritized affordability, while Millennials and Gen Z focus on experience and value, even in weddings.
• Evolving Definitions: Acceptance of cohabitation, interracial, and interfaith marriages has grown significantly from Boomers to Gen Z. 

Generation X (1965-1980)

• Practical Approach: Bridged traditional and modern views, valuing financial stability and practicality in weddings.
• Cohabitation: Many supported cohabiting before marriage as a way to prevent divorce.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Why, When, and How Much Humans Eat

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (I Corinthians 6:19-20)

The psychology of eating is a multidisciplinary field that explores the complex biological, psychological, social, and cultural factors influencing why, when, and how much humans eat. 

The psychology of eating goes beyond simple hunger to address learned behaviors, emotional triggers, and environmental cues that shape our relationship with food. 

Environmental cues happen when people are more likely to eat in the presence of an environmental cue that others did too. Also, participants were more likely to choose a snack that was consistent with the choice of others.

• Examples include having a snack because someone else in the house is having one. The power of suggestion.

Key Factors in the Psychology of Eating

• Emotional Eating: Many people use food—often high-fat, high-sugar "comfort foods"—to cope with emotions such as depression, stress, sadness, boredom, anger, or loneliness. This provides temporary relief but can lead to cycles of guilt and overeating.
• Mindless Eating: This occurs when individuals eat without paying attention to their body's hunger and fullness signals, often while distracted by activities like watching TV or working.
• An example; I always eat pizza while watching football
• Social and Environmental Influence: Eating behaviors are heavily influenced by social settings, cultural norms, and marketing. People often eat more in the company of others or are influenced by the eating habits of romantic partners.
• Food Preferences and Conditioning: Personal history, childhood experiences, and learned associations (e.g., associating specific foods with celebrations or comfort) significantly shape what we choose to eat. 
• Biological and Neurological Factors: Hormones like leptin and ghrelin regulate physical hunger and satiety, while the brain's reward system can drive cravings for calorie-dense foods.
• Mood and Nutrition: The relationship between food and mood is a two-way street. A nutritious diet, rich in fruits, vegetables, omega-3 fatty acids, and essential vitamins, can improve mood and mental health, while poor dietary choices can exacerbate feelings of stress and depression. 
• Why You Eat

Understanding why you eat produces the potential to manage your weight and mental health better. 

•Some people eat because they enjoy fixing themselves a snack and looking forward to eating it.

•Some people like eating because it makes it gives them an adrenaline high while preparing it. 

When We Eat

• Poor Choices: People eating late often choose higher-calorie, less nutritious foods, and emotional eating increases when tired, adding excess calories.
• Increased Calorie Intake: Late-night eaters often consume hundreds more calories daily, which drives weight gain. 

Portion Size

The National Library of Medicine suggests that it can increase weight gain. However other factors are related.

• Family Genetics
• Size 

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

I Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

The psychology of shopaholism is rooted in the temporary relief and emotional highs that shopping provides, which can be a coping mechanism for stress, low self-esteem, or feelings of powerlessness. It's a behavioral addiction.

Psychological drivers

• Emotional regulation: Shopping can be a way to soothe negative feelings like stress, anxiety, sadness, or anger.
• Sense of control: For those who feel a lack of control in other areas of their life, shopping can provide a sense of power and autonomy.
• Highs and lows: The release of endorphins and dopamine during a purchase creates a temporary "high" or sense of gratification. However, this is often followed by feelings of shame, disappointment, or guilt, which leads to a cycle of seeking the rush again.
• Self-esteem and validation: Compulsive buying can be a way to seek validation or improve one's self-image and sense of importance through material possessions.
• Perfectionism: Some individuals may shop compulsively to achieve an imagined sense of perfection, believing that certain items will make them more complete. 

Comorbidity 

• Other disorders could be happening at the same time.

Behavioral patterns

• Preoccupation: Individuals become preoccupied with shopping and making purchases, sometimes to an obsessive degree.
• Impulse control issues: A key feature is difficulty resisting the impulse to buy, even when they know it's a bad idea.
• Secrecy and guilt: They may hide their purchases from friends and family and feel a significant amount of shame and guilt after shopping sprees.

Escalation: The behavior can escalate into financial, emotional, and relational problems.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 1 Peter 4:8

Favorite Characters in Christmas story 

Heather - I love the shepherds—to think that they were out in a field at night and a host of angels appeared above them—they had to be shaking in their sandals!! And then how they responded is so inspiring—if only we all could go running towards Jesus with their enthusiasm!! 😊

Alyx - As someone with an adopted Father, I have always been very fond of Joseph, especially in the story of Jesus’ birth. We aren’t told a ton about him aside from the main deal that he had faith, married Mary instead of allowing her to be shamed, and raised Jesus as his own. I like to imagine him a lot like my very faithful and selfless father who married my mother and raised me as his own. My biological father was in my life when I was a child and my dad always took a back seat, gave my bio dad every privilege and never once complained. But my dad was the one who showed up to every concert, soccer game, bought my favorite ice cream when I cried over a boy and later adopted me as an adult. 

I always say he is the clearest picture of Christ’s sacrificial love that I could ever ask for and its easy for me to understand how God loves us more because of him! I see his love for me in Christ and in Joseph so that’s why Joseph is my favorite!

Amanda - I love the Shepherds in the Christmas story. They were not high status; they were just regular people like us. God chose them to be the first to hear the news. They represent just pure joy and excitement. It's also cool that Shepherds are used as a symbol throughout the entire bible. They forecasted what was to come. 

Suzannah – the donkey (A woman after Scott’s heart)

Kayti – Mary

My Erin – Mary

Alysha – Mary

Amy - I think the shepherds because they would've never imagined they would be included in such an event.

 Favorite Christmas Movie

Eloise at Christmastime. Shocking that an eccentric, nosey little girl obsessed with pink always finds her way to the top of my lists lol.

White Christmas x 2

It’s a Wonderful Life

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

The Santa Claus

Miracle on 34th Street - the original

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

What Christmas Means for Vulnerable Children - Focus on the Family

Psalm 103:8 – “The LORD is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.”

Ways to make Christmas special for vulnerable children

• Be intentional and proactive. This includes putting time and energy into it.
• Gifts purchased or made with the vulnerable child in mind has an incredible impact
• Being proactive and intentional includes connecting with ministries that are providing Christmas for vulnerable children
• The extra little bit of time and effort put in makes a huge difference in helping the child feel loved, as well.
• Meaningful gifts like a child’s Bible or a magazine, put out by a ministry that speaks to children like Brio
• Ask them what would be a special Christmas present?
• Facilitate them providing a Christmas for someone who is less often than they are
• Give them as much ownership of what happens enduring Christmas as possible

Help displaced, vulnerable children feel more comfortable in a new environment

• Help them see Jesus was also displaced Luke 2:7 and she gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the village inn.
• It’s hard to remember that Jesus was a baby and a child as well as a teenager😊😂

Be intentional and proactive about their bedroom 

• The vulnerable child will feel more empowered when the child gets to fix up their room the way he or she wants it for Christmas

Tom’s Thoughts 

There is a theme throughout Helen’s article on acceptance and approval. Make sure they receive presents that are given with them in mind, it be even more special.

We were designed to be accepted and improved by God 

There are core values that we have that can only truly be filled by the presence of the Holy Spirit in us Jeremiah 31:3:  The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying; “I have loved you with an everlasting, love; You with my unfailing kindness!” 

Psalm 147:3 – “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” 

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Genesis 22:17, “I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore.” 

This verse reminds us that God’s promises are not just for us, but for the generations that follow us, ensuring a legacy that reflects His faithfulness.

 Ages of the different generations.

The Age of Gen X.

• It is for the people born between the 1960s and 1980s AGES 65 - 85

The Age of Millennials.

• It is for the people born between 1981 and 1996 AGES 29 - 44 

The Age of Gen Z

• It is for people born between 1997 and 2012 AGES 13 - 28

The spending habits of Gen X

• A Gen X Christian's spending would therefore reflect a blend of generational financial habits and faith-based values. 
• are often characterized by cautious, practical spending habits shaped by major economic shifts they experienced including the 2008 financial crisis.
• They balance taking care of both their own children and their aging parents 
• They are careful buyers that are brand loyal and very eager to research what they are going to buy 
• They prioritize their spending based on mortgages, health care and retirement 
• They are more likely to research what they buy and are comfortable either online or in a store buying it 
• Gen X spending includes travel, health and beauty products, and household items like pet care and home and garden supplies. They are also high spenders on "recreation durables," such as musical instruments and gaming consoles. 

 The spending habits of millennials

• Studies show that Christian millennials donate significantly more than their non-Christian peers. One study found that Christian millennials give not quite 3 times as much as non-Christian millennials 
• For many Christian millennials, financial responsibility is directly tied to their faith.
• Many are driven by "others-focused" financial goals, such as providing for family, charitable giving, or serving God with their money.
• other millennials may be more motivated by "self-focused" goals, such as supporting their desired lifestyle.
• Focus on intentional spending. • 59% intentionally try to buy from companies that operate in ways they believe honor Christ.
• 48% believe they have a responsibility to spend money with companies owned or operated by Christians.
• Millennials are more likely to give their donations to grassroots start up ministries and social justice issues rather than tithing to the church

The spending habits of Gen Z

• Christian Gen Z show a strong interest in "purpose-driven" purchases that align with their values. While they are price-conscious, they will prioritize spending with brands that demonstrate social responsibility
• Christian youth tend to spend their money on experiences rather than tangible items
• Examples include dining out, going to concerts, traveling and other entertainment
• Gen Z rely on social media for product information and prefer to order online
• They have had very little experience, going to shopping malls in various department stores to find things. They have been born and raised on the Internet and its capabilities.
• They are motivated to give 10% however it is often times to an online presence versus the institutional church
• Many Gen Z people tend to believe in being a good steward of what they have been given. 

Christian Gen Z are actively taught to resist materialism and

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

7 Scientifically Proven Benefits Of Gratitude That Will Motivate You To Give Thanks Year-Round

How can you express gratitude to God and to others this Thanksgiving?

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted" 

• As God's chosen, holy, and beloved people, you should clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 
• Verse 13: Be patient with each other, and if you have a complaint against someone, forgive them as the Lord has forgiven you. 
• Verse 14: And above all these virtues, put on love, which binds all of them together in perfect

1. Remember the reason for the season. Keeping peace on earth starts with you. As Christians, it’s our responsibility to model Christ to our stepchildren and ex-spouses, especially those who are not walking with the Lord. Romans 14:19 says, “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification” (NIV).

These special days are a celebration of our Lord Jesus Christ, the one who has brought salvation, grace, love, and joy. 

Are we demonstrating the love of God in our stepfamily? Are we expressing the joy of the Lord? Remember to center your holidays on the right celebration.

 2. Honor traditions that your step kids bring and consider new ones. 

We learned that a new family means doing things a new way. That involves flexibility and open minds. It’s okay to keep some old traditions, but it may be time to create some new ones, too. We asked each of our kids to suggest something they’d like to create as a new tradition. As long as it was legal and not immoral, we agreed.

One new tradition sounds pretty simple, but had a lot of impact. We bought matching ornaments for the kids each year and added their names and the year. As each has married, we have carefully packed up their ornaments and presented to them for their first Christmas tree. There are lots of great memories attached to those ornaments.

As the kids have gotten older, we have added a new tradition of Thanksgiving Day golf. The boys (since we have more of them) leave the house with my husband, Gil, by 8 a.m. Living in the Northwest, you never know what kind of weather will greet you on that morning. Last year, it was more like ice golfing. We came back with a video of 28-year-old Kyle ice skating in the sand trap as he tried to maneuver his way out. Feet sliding under him, his feeble attempt to escape the trap made us all laugh! As we reminisce around the dinner table each year, that tradition is always brought up.

3. Reduce pressure of holiday schedules. 

So much strife is created by the timing of family get-togethers, but if you look at things a little differently, you can stretch your holiday time and even enjoy it. (As we always say, “Remember, blessed are the flexible, for they won’t snap.”)

Consider that your celebration doesn’t need to be on the day of the holiday. Instead, reserve another date close to the holiday for your holiday festivities. Having an “open house” day may work best.

4. Don’t hold grudges. Many families trade off each year where kids will be for the major holidays, which can disappoint and hurt feelings. But don’t spend your energy on holding grudges over scheduling chaos. Instead, put your energy into loving them, and enjoy the time you have with them.

If emotions run crazy, chances are they are just trying to make all of their parents happy by showing up when asked. The more understanding you have, the more pleasant the holiday will be and the more your kids will look forward to spending time in your home.

 5. Don’t forget about your marriage. Take time to check in with your spouse. Sometimes my husband and I wi

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"

Highlights And Reactions To The First Christmas Without A Loved One from Tom and Scott.

It Is Important To Prioritize Your Needs.  Take Time To:

• Walk
• Nap
• Have important conversations 
• Take time to have your space.
• Crying and hugs are to be expected and enjoyed 

Find new family traditions that help after experiencing loss

• New traditions could include cruises
• Rent a house in a vacation spot for the family

Continue with routine that helps normalize life

• Have your regular coffee time?
• Continue watching your favorite shows or news on TV
• Praying
• Seeking God And His Word
• Eat healthy
• Connect with a friend you haven’t talked to in a long time

3 Suggestions from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association 

1.    Look to the past. God gave you and your spouse many years together; have you ever stopped to thank Him for this? In other words, don’t let the loneliness of the present crowd out the happiness of the past. iMovies, photo albums

2.    Look to the present. All around you are people who are lonely or grieving or discouraged. Ask God to help you reach out and be a friend to them this Christmas. It may be someone you already know—in your church or among your circle of friends. Invite them to dinner; take them to a Christmas program at your church; in small ways let them know you care. They need you—and you need them.

3.    Third, look to the future. Jesus came into the world for one reason: to make it possible for us to be with Him in Heaven forever. The more we focus on eternity, the lighter our burdens become. In Christ we have hope, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17).

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

• The Golden Calf (Exodus 32): While Moses was on Mount Sinai receiving the Ten Commandments, the Israelites created a golden calf to worship, a blatant act of idolatry that angered God.
• Exodus 20: 3-5 You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the LORD your God am a jealous God.

The Setup from Scott: We did some training and orientation to A.I. in the office. Some of us were a little uneasy with it. Including me. My position has been that I would prefer to use the A.I. God gave me…my brain.  

Advantages to AI

• Translating scripture into different languages CBN
• When creative with ethic Christian values, it can be helpful
• AI and promote God’s values like compassion and justice, encourage and
• Promote God’s sovereignty

AI Dangers

• Believing anything that would distort God’s plan or will in this world
• Avoiding any form of worship or unmerited importance that would be more important than our God
• Unhealthy dependence on AI
• AI becomes an unhealthy control over society 

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Lord of peace, may You give our pastor(s) and their families peace at all times and in every way (2 Thess. 3:16). 

Support your spouse without being

the assistant pastor.

1.   Be a loving, supportive spouse

2.   Do not neglect the training of your children.

3.   Take care of your home.

The Unique Challenges

·  Living under constant scrutiny

·  Unrealistic expectations

·  Perfect social behavior

·  Thorough knowledge of the Bible

·  Attendance at all meetings

·  Ready entertainer

·  Spiritual giant

The Unique Circumstances

·  Limited finances

·  The demands of church members

·  Loneliness

·  Absent Spouse

 How to Succeed As a Pastor’s Spouse

·  Love and accept yourself.

·  Concentrate on being the best you can be.

·  Have realistic expectations of yourself.

·  Build your own spiritual life.

·  Work on self-improvement.

·  Love and accept your spouse.

·  Try to understand your spouse’s ministry.

·  Decide on what you are comfortable doing in your church.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

1 Timothy 5:17 (NIV): “The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching.”

Celebration suggestions

Write a letter. Handwritten is best! For example:  

We are grateful for your leadership and the love you show through your service. May God continue to bless you and your ministry. Your dedication to the Lord's work touches our hearts. Thank you for being our shepherd and always guiding us towards God's love.

It would be very important to celebrate your pastors, preaching style and the enthusiasm and love that they present God’s word in.

Another example, if your pastor helped you or someone else you know:

Thanks for your help with [specific action or situation]. I really appreciate all of your hard work. You've been so helpful with [specific action or situation]. Thanks

 Have a church potluck in their honor

• Possibly have people lined up ahead of time to honor the Pastor after the meal
• It is possible to have no cards at each table setting that would say one thing I appreciate about the Pastor is…

Start a prayer chain of having people sign up to pray for the pastor(s) for a week. 

Start an email chain of celebrating the pastor all month. Maybe talk to the church office manager about sending out emails to the church.

Other Ideas:

Through the years of ministry, the pastor suffers from the spiritual attacks by the enemy on their emotions and well-being. It is important to encourage them in their life outside of leading the church. We should encourage them to take care of themselves and acknowledge the success of their family and their life.

• Let them know what a great job they’ve done in their marriage
• Equally important is to let them know how great they have been as a parent
• Find something that is special in them to acknowledge and celebrate. As an example. Your pastor may have a great way of greeting you that is heartwarming. Take time to acknowledge that.
• Let them know that they do a great job of leadership of the staff and church members
• It might sound odd, but celebrate them by sending them on a sabbatical?

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

“7 Struggles of Ministry That Aren’t Talked About Enough” by Stephan Cote

You Have Doubts About God

• Doubting Thomas wanted evidence for his beliefs. He was known for I won’t believe it unless I see the Neal ones in his hands and put my fingers into them and place my hand into the wound in his side. (John 20:25) Sarah didn’t believe she could get pregnant, Mary, mother of Jesus, doubted an angel (Luke 1:34)
• Confusing devotion in vocation you allow your job is a pastor take over your personal devotional life. Your time in the Bible is more for a Bible study or sermon than it is your own charging of your battery.
• Pastoral Stress Levels Are Off The Charts 75% of Pastor’s report being extremely stressed or highly stressed

Tight finances, emotional turmoil, and long hours are all stress factors for the Pastor.  Carrying a stressful load that was not yours in the first place.

• Pastors Find It hard to deal with the 3’ G’s:  Girls, Gold and Glory

 57% of pastors and 64% youth pastors report porn use.

 Affairs, both physical and emotional, Accountability partners, and computer 

filters are very important.

• Feeling Alone

Easy pray for the enemy when you find yourself low and in a dry spirit to 

stay.  Support groups or counselor or mentor or a coach can be very helpful. 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Psalm 119:130 “The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.”

“A third of pastors who leave ministry cite burnout, conflict with church”: Study from Christianpost.com

Reasons Pastors, Leave The Ministry

• Around one-third of pastors who leave the ministry cite burnout or conflict with the church as the reasons, according to a study by Lifeway Research. 18% in 2021 cited conflict for their reason to leave the church. Look at how four years has made an incredible increase in leaving the ministry
• 40% of respondents cited change in calling as the cause of their departure
• Of those who reported conflict as a reason for leaving 45% of respondents reported experiencing significant conflict during the final year they served as pastor. 
• Among former pastors, 87% faced “conflict at some point in their last congregation,” with 56% experiencing it over proposed changes and almost half (49%) saying they experienced a “significant personal attack” as a result.
• Lifeway also reported that, despite leaving the position of pastor, 53% of respondents said that they continue to work in ministry, though in a different capacity.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Genesis 1:27 

So God created mankind in his own image,  in the image of God he created them;  male and female he created them. 

Bullying happens more frequently than you might think. According to the American Medical Association, by the time students finish school, nearly half of students have been bullied at one point or another. 

What is Bullying? 

Researchers who study bullying cite three common characteristics of what makes an act bullying:

·  Bullying is intentional and tries to cause harm or distress to the victim.

·  Bullying occurs between two students who have different degrees of power.

·  Bullying happens repeatedly over a period of time. 

There are three types of bullying that occur:

1.    Physical: Hitting, kicking, spitting, tripping, pushing, breaking someone’s things, rude gestures

2.    Verbal: Teasing, name-calling, threats, inappropriate sexual comments, taunting

3.    Social: Leaving someone out of a group on purpose, telling others not to be friends with them, publicly embarrassing them, spreading gossip or rumors about someone. 

How should Christians respond to bullying?

How does God call us to respond if we are being bullied or we see someone else being bullied?

1. If you see something, say something.

Reporting bullying to the proper authorities is one of the most important strategies we can use to prevent further bullying. Twenty-eight percent of students grades 6-12 say that they have been bullied at school. Yet only 20-30 percent of those who are bullied actually report when they are bullied.[5] As

 How should Christians respond to bullying?

How does God call us to respond if we are being bullied or we see someone else being bullied?

1. If you see something, say something. 

1.    Reporting bullying to the proper authorities is one of the most important strategies we can use to prevent further bullying.

2.    Twenty-eight percent of students grades 6-12 say that have been bullied at school. Yet only 20-30 percent of those who are bullied actually report when they are bullied. 

** Something extremely important to remember is that it isn’t tattling to report bullying. 

Understand who you are in Christ 

You need to know that you are special to God and created in his image with

immeasurable worth and value. (Psalm 139:13-18) 

it’s okay to stick up for yourself if you are bullied.

Sticking up for yourself may be difficult to do, but if you are able to stay calm and respond in a loving manner, then you have every right as an image-bearer of God to defend yourself and speak the truth. You are worth being defended. 

Reach out to those being bullied

Lastly, we need to reach out to those being bullied. One of the best ways we can do this is to befriend them and invite them to hang out with us. Not only will this make them feel loved, accepted, and less alone, it also acts as a deterrent to bullying. Bullies are much less likely to pick on someone if they are in a group of friends than if they are alone.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

1. Understand Your Impact Potential

Grandpa or grandma, you are second only to parents in your potential to influence your grandkids spiritually.

If you haven’t thought about your impact potential before, you’re not alone. Many Christian grandparents are missing important opportunities because they haven’t seen the possibility—nor the responsibility—that grandchildren bring. We rightly see parents as first both in responsibility and potential to impact the spiritual growth of children.

2. Clarify Your Role

Whether we are one of six or by ourselves in this spiritual‐impact role, the mandate is clear: passing on faith to our grandkids is our duty before God! He commands us to teach two generations, not just one.

3. Model a Life of Goodness

If we have been obedient followers of Christ, it only makes sense that in the grandparent years, we are more like Him than we have ever been. Rather than becoming more cynical and cranky, we ought to become more gracious and godly. Doing so is vital: our children and grandchildren will largely base their impression of Jesus upon what we show Him to be through our daily lives. Don’t ever underestimate the fact that how you live your life will impact your grandkids. (Phil’s funeral)

4. Create Great Relationships With the Parents

Parents are the doorkeepers of the relationships with the grandkids, as they should be. But that relationship door sometimes slams in the face of grandparents. Divorce slams it. Political differences slam it. So do different spiritual paths. It’s slammed by wrong decisions, unkind words said in anger, or overreactions—sometimes by the parent, sometimes by the grandparent.

5. Balance Grace and Truth

We best represent Jesus to our families when we balance grace and truth. John 1:14 describes Him as “full of grace and truth.” It really means “full of grace and full of truth;” He was the complete embodiment of both.

 6. Adapt to Your Grandkid’s World (This should sound familiar)

Last week when she came to visit, I told her, ‘if you can’t put your phone down, I’m taking you home!’ And a few minutes later, I caught her playing again—so I took her home.”

That grandma thought she was doing a good thing by being strict with her granddaughter, but I’m pretty certain she injured the relationship instead. You see, she wanted the little girl to enter “grandma world”—sit at the kitchen table, and talk over tea. What if she would have said instead, “Help me learn about this game that you like to play so much on your phone, and then afterward, let’s sit at the table and just talk?” The granddaughter would have felt honored, the relationship preserved, and the two of them would have enjoyed tea together There is no greater focus for the second half of life than that!

7. Find Your Greatest Life Purpose

There is no greater focus for the second half of life than that! Life’s greatest purpose is simple: to see our descendants in heaven. 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

By Pamela Henkelman of FamilyChristian.com

Parent Feelings When Their Children Turn From the Faith

• Grief
• Confusion 
• Fear
• Relational Depression 

Parents Should Prioritize:

• Love
• Empathy 
• Open Communication 
• Continue to be an Example
• Shame and Failure: Don't let shame paralyze you. It's important to address these feelings and remember that your child's choices are ultimately their own. 
• Fear and Anxiety: It's natural to worry about your child's future and well-being, but try to channel that worry into prayer rather than letting it control you. 

Parents Should Focus on Maintaining a Healthy Relationship:

• Pray for Your Child: Continue to pray for your child's spiritual journey, seeking God's guidance for both of you. 
• Deepen Your Faith: Use this as an opportunity to deepen your own relationship with God and strengthen your faith. 
• Seek Support: Connect with other parents who have experienced similar situations. Sharing experiences and finding support can be incredibly helpful. 
• Live Your Faith: Continue to live your life according to your beliefs, demonstrating the love and grace of Christ. 

 Focus on Your Own Spiritual Growth:

• Pray for Your Child: Continue to pray for your child's spiritual journey, seeking God's guidance for both of you. 
• Deepen Your Faith: Use this as an opportunity to deepen your own relationship with God and strengthen your faith. 
• Seek Support: Connect with other parents who have experienced similar situations. Sharing experiences and finding support can be incredibly helpful. 
• Live Your Faith: Continue to live your life according to your beliefs, demonstrating the love and grace of Christ. 

Trust in God's Plan:

• God's Sovereignty: Remember that God is sovereign and has a plan for your child's life, even if it's not what you expected. 
• Patience and Perseverance: Be patient and persistent in your prayers and love for your child. Trust that God is working. 

Focus on the Future: Don't dwell on the past or allow bitterness to take root. Focus on the present and trust that God will guide you both. 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Scripture: Genesis 25:22-26

The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord.  The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.”  When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. 

Ohio has a special connection with twins.  It’s the Twins Day Festival at Twinsburg, OH the first weekend of Aug.  This year was the 50th Twins Day.  Twins & multiples come from all over the world.  It’s estimated that over 2000 twins and multiples came this year.  So I thought it would be fun….

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JULIE

Make sure each person's their own person. You have to share so much. I had my first birthday party alone at 21. First time I felt like my own person. I don't know what it is like to have older or younger siblings. Find something unique for each twin that you can celebrate them in. Also understand not all twins are super close. There are a lot of twins who don't have that super close bind.   (Julie & her twin are not close.  She said they had totally different personalities)

CHELSEY & NICOLE (SCOTT’S COUSINS)

Being twins definitely came with some unique dynamics. Growing up, there were times we were treated as a “set,” which could be fun but also made it important to carve out our own identities and space. As we got older, we naturally grew into our own personalities and interests, but still had that built-in support system of always having someone who understood. For parents of twins, we’d say: try to encourage individuality early on—different activities, different friends if they want, even just little things like letting them choose their own clothes. At the same time, don’t stress if they want to stick together—there’s a comfort in that bond too. And patience is huge, because raising two kids the same age is busy, but the upside is they always have each other.

Parenting Tips:

• Routines and Schedules: Establish consistent routines for feeding, sleeping, and playtime to help manage the demands of two babies. 

 Parenting Twins

• Parenting twins can be challenging but incredibly rewarding. Focus on developing routines, seeking support, and treating each child as an individual. Prioritize individual attention, encourage their unique interests, and communicate openly about their individual needs and development. 

Practical Tips for Parenting Twins: 

• Routines and Schedules: Establish consistent routines for feeding, sleeping, and playtime to help manage the demands of two babies. 
• Individual Attention: Make an effort to spend quality one-on-one time with each child to foster their unique bond and sense of self. Children want fairness! More to come!
• Encourage Individuality: Recognize that each twin is unique, and support their individual interests and friendships. Get into their world
• Seek Support: Don't hesitate to ask for help from family, friends, or support groups. Connecting with other parents of twins can provide valuable insights and emotional support. 
• Communication and Open Dialogue: Encourage open communication with your twins about their feelings, development, and any comparisons they may be making with each other. NO COMPARISON
• Fairness vs. Equality: Understand that fairness doesn't always mean treating twins exactly the same. Focus on meeting their individual needs, even if it requires different approaches. Stay away from matching outfits

Celebrate Their Bond: Acknowledge the special

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Proverbs 22:6

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Scott and Tom’s memories of their grandparents

3 Truths That Every Grandparent Should Know

1. You are influential – whether you know it or not

Think back to your childhood. Can you remember your grandparents? What is it about them that still influences you today? Although I have never seen them play, my grandad’s passion for Sheffield United means that they are still ‘my’ team. I feel attached to Camberwell in South London because my grandma lived there. And I still believe that roast lamb is the right dinner to serve for a family get together because my other grandma told me so! Children are shaped by their families, as they watch and learn, pick up some things and discard others.

Karl Pillemer, of Cornell University, reported that ‘as many as 9 out of 10 adult grandchildren feel their grandparents influenced their values and behaviors’. And the influence of grandparents isn’t just limited to value and behaviors. Other researchers have shown that grandparents are good for their grandchildren’s mental and emotional health, and help to improve resilience and encourage pro-social behavior and better peer relationships. It seems that simply by existing and being known, who you are and what you do influences your grandchildren.

2. Connection is key (relationship building )

Grandparents and grandchildren seem to be set up to connect well: there’s an expectation of love and interest from children which means that even if they regard every other grey-haired person on the planet as irrelevant, they do crave connection with their grey-haired grandparents. Grandparents will often talk about how overwhelming their love is for their grandchildren; how special they are and how they love them unconditionally.

Being in a close relationship with someone who loves you enables all sorts of good things: not just the pure enjoyment of each other’s company, but the freedom to be vulnerable, the courage to trust, and the willingness to learn from each other. We are ready to be influenced by people we trust and love and open to learn from their experiences and wisdom. So the closer you are to your grandchildren, the better positioned you will be to share all the good things you have with your grandchildren, including and meeting and knowing the God you love.

3. No-one said it would be easy – but God is able to work through every circumstance

No-one said it would be easy – and it rarely is! But God’s involved in all of it. His design has always been that grandparents are part of his design for helping grandchildren meet and know God – and that doesn’t change because your situation is less than ideal. He also knows what you can manage, and he won’t demand more of you than you are capable of – and he does have a plan. Be encouraged. Whatever it looks like on the outside, God’s not finished with your family yet.  As you pray for your grandchildren and their families, keep asking God for your next step. He’s on the case! 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

By Dan Orlovsky, on All Pro Dads.com

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

 1. People Who Will Challenge You

We all spend time with like-minded people. It’s easy. It’s where we find comfort. 

• Small groups are a boost in confidence
• It can be very helpful to hear another perspective on what you are thinking. It presents you with opportunities to analyze what you believe and why.

2. Someone Just Ahead of You in Life

It is vitally important to have someone more experienced than you are in your life. The value of this is priceless because you can go to them when life throws you a curve ball.

Being coachable is a very important part of having someone coach or mentor you in life.

3. Someone Just Behind You in Life

Finding someone to mentor and reaching out to them is very important for our growth.

4. An Encourager

We all have bad days, and maybe even bad seasons. That’s why we all need someone in our life to lift us up when things get hard. For me, that’s primarily my wife. But I also have great friends.

Paul writes about the gift of encouragement in Romans 12:8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

5. A Dreamer

Surround yourself with people who dreams of what could be. They’re inspiring and motivational.

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The words we say are very powerful. It’s amazing what happens when someone says a blessing over you. It is capable of lifting your spirits or encouraging you when you’re feeling down.

The words we use are also very reflective of what is going on in a person’s heart. Matthew 15:11 teaches, “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.” 

Paul also mentions it in Ephesians 4:29

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Later in Ephesians 5:4 Paul not only talks about no filthiness or foolishness coming out of our mouths, but that we should speak words of thanksgiving.

He writes, “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”

Proverbs also encourages us to bless others. In Proverbs 11:25 we read,

“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.”

Later Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Although there are more words we shouldn’t use, here is a short list of some very important ones.

“Liar” is a good example of a word that should not be used in family relationships, and specifically in parent- child relationships. Being called a liar can be hurtful and impact a loved one’s reputation. A better way to process what a child might have said is to say, “This doesn’t make sense to me”, or “That doesn’t sound accurate.” 

Using the term “lazy" can be very derogatory, expressing a low opinion of someone. What appears as “laziness” might actually be influenced by factors such as mental health, burnout, or simply not finding a task sufficiently compelling. This would make it even more hurtful if you use the term lazy with an individual struggling with mental health or burnout conditions.

 Calling someone “stupid” is a very condescending and insulting way to speak to someone, as if they were ignorant. Condescension is rude and patronizing. Treating someone with condescension is the opposite of treating them with respect.

Action Point:

What is the condition of your heart? How are you speaking to others?

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

by Isabella Chase | May 22, 2025  Posted on Global English Editing.com

 There’s a subtle distinction between being content and truly joyful.

This divide often goes unnoticed, especially by those who’ve slowly, but surely, lost their zest for life. These men might seem fine on the surface, but beneath that veneer, their joy has faded into a mere memory.

Psychology gives us insights into these quiet transformations. And it’s crucial to identify them, not only in others but also in our own lives.

Understanding these seven habits can help us spot the signs and bring back the happiness that may have slipped away unnoticed.

In this article, we’ll explore the 7 habits of men who have quietly lost their joy in life, according to psychology. Get ready to dive deep into the human psyche and perhaps, find a path that leads back to joy.

 1) The joyless routine

Life is full of routines. We get up, get ready, go to work, come home, and do it all over again. But when joy has begun to fade, these routines can become chains that bind men to a joyless existence.

These men often find themselves stuck in a cycle of repetition, where every day seems to blur into the next. They’re just going through the motions, without finding any real pleasure or satisfaction in what they do.

For men who have lost their joy in life, the present moment is often a place they’d rather escape from.

Recognizing this habit is the first step towards regaining the lost joy. Breaking free from monotonous routines and finding new and engaging activities can reignite the spark that once made life enjoyable.

 2) Social withdrawal

I remember when my friend John started withdrawing from our social circle.

He was always the life of the party, but suddenly, he began declining invitations and spending more time alone. It was a slow change, hardly noticeable at first, but it eventually became a habit.

Social withdrawal is a common sign of decreased joy in life. This isolation can be self-imposed as an attempt to avoid feelings of discomfort or dissatisfaction.

But as Carl Jung once said, “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself.”

In John’s case, he had lost the ability to share his feelings and connect with others on a deeper level. His joy had faded, replaced by a sense of detached loneliness.

If you notice this habit in yourself or in someone you care about, remember that reaching out and creating connections can be a powerful antidote to this isolation. Rekindling old friendships, starting new ones, or even seeking professional help can make a world of difference.

 3) Disinterest in previously enjoyed activities

Have you ever found yourself losing interest in activities that once brought you immense joy? It’s a disconcerting feeling, one that creeps up on you without notice.

This is a common habit among men who have lost their joy in life. Activities that used to spark excitement now feel dull and uninteresting. The hobbies they used to love somehow lose their appeal.

For those experiencing this disinterest, it’s tough to see the beauty in the struggle when even their passions feel like chores.

If you fi

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Colossians 3:18-21

It is Important to:

• Prioritize the emotional needs of the marriage
• Prioritize the marriage over the children more than we do
• Prioritize going out of our way to do things that make our spouse feel happy and loved
• Prioritize our spouses love language. Taking an evening to ask what would love language would you want me to speak right now
• Prioritize home life over work
• Prioritize putting your favorite drink and getting comfortable and talking about any and everything
• Prioritize praying together. Couples who do have a divorce rate at 1 in every 1,152 marriages.
• Prioritizing flirting with your spouse
• Prioritizing valuing your spouse

Prioritizing celebrating your spouse 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 

Proverbs 18:22 - He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. 

·         Be proactive and intentional in your marriage. Ask Jesus for help to be a successful marriage partner 

·         Rev up the five cylinder intimacy engine. 

·         Speak your spouse’s love language 

Prioritize revving up your bedroom Olympics 

·         Change your pattern of initiating sex (Opening Ceremonies) 

Hold hands more often 

·         Author Dr. Kory Floyd, wrote holding hands, hugging, and touching can release oxytocin causing a calming sensation. Studies show it’s also released during sexual orgasm. Additionally, physical affection reduces stress hormones – lowering daily levels of the stress hormone cortisol. 

Allow tension to build 

·         Our brains experience more pleasure when the anticipation of the reward goes on for some time before we receive it. So take your time during foreplay, share fantasies, change locations, and make sex more romantic. 

Separate sexual intimacy from routine 

·         Plan intimacy time and avoid talking about relationship problems and household chores in the bedroom. Sexual arousal plummets when we’re distracted and stressed. 

Focus on affectionate touch 

·         This could be foot rubs, and back, rubs their express love 

Maintain a sense of curiosity about sexual intimacy 

·         This can happen by breaking up the routine and try new things as sexual needs change 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

 Matthew 19:4-6  

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

A Biblical Definition of Marriage

The Bible defines marriage as a sacred union between one man and one woman, established by God (Matthew 19:4-6). This relationship is a lifelong commitment, rooted in faithfulness and mutual love. Christian marriage is more than a legal agreement; it’s a covenant.

Love and Sacrifice: The Example of Christ

At the heart of a Christian marriage is love, modeled after the sacrificial love of Christ. Ephesians 5:25 calls on husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This kind of love goes beyond emotions—it’s a daily choice to put the needs of your spouse above your own. Love in marriage is rooted in sacrifice, service, and grace, reflecting Christ’s selflessness. Both partners are called to give of themselves and serve one another in humility, displaying a marriage that thrives on mutual care and devotion.

Communication and Unity in Marriage

Effective communication is vital in building unity and understanding in marriage. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to speak in ways that build each other up. Open and honest communication, rooted in kindness and respect, fosters deeper intimacy and trust between spouses. Unity is displayed when couples count the needs of one another as more significant than their own. Praying together, studying God’s Word, and building one another up in word and deed, allows couples to grow spiritually as one, strengthening their bond.

 Faithfulness and Trust: Building a Secure Relationship

Faithfulness in marriage mirrors God’s unwavering faithfulness to His people. Trust is essential for creating a secure relationship where both partners feel safe and valued.  Proverbs 3:3 says, "Let love and faithfulness never leave you."

Faithfulness and Trust: Building a Secure Relationship

Faithfulness in marriage mirrors God’s unwavering faithfulness to His people. Trust is essential for creating a secure relationship where both partners feel safe and valued.Proverbs 3:3 says, "Let love and faithfulness never leave you." 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” ~ Genesis 2:24

1) Selflessness

A mark of a Godly Christian is their willingness to humble themselves and be selfless towards other. This is true especially in marriage, where we are called to be selfless to each other and put our spouses needs first. This is an effective way towards a happier marriage.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” ~ Philippians 2:3-8

The practice of selflessness, putting each other’s needs before your own, is very difficult, because by nature we are selfish beings. However, practically speaking, many benefits arise from both husband and wife mutually prioritizing the other’s needs. When both parties make an effort to please one another by putting their needs/wants/desires first, a magical thing happens: both husband and wife are getting there needs met.

2) Good Communication

Communication within marriage can be very difficult! Wires get crossed and simple words and sentences are taken far out of context, and strife (anger intense fellowship) starts to build. We say things rashly and without thinking to our spouses, and we leave them feeling hurt and we act selfishly towards them. But God calls us to a higher standard. We are to guard our mouths (Psalm 141:3), speak wisdom (Matthew 12:36-37), be slow to speak( Ecclesiastes 5:2) {especially angry words (James 1:19)}, and learn to communicate well with our spouse. 

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” ~Proverbs 15:1

 Communication is critical to any relationship, and doubly so in a marriage. Having good communication with friends and family is beneficial, sure, but how much more imperative is it that you have quality communication with the person that you are one with?

3) Spiritual Emphasis (together and separately)

Our highest calling as Christians is to know God and to glorify Him.We cannot do this effectively if we are not seeking the Lord individually and as a couple. It is so vital for the life of the believer to come before God alone and study His word and worship Him (2 Timothy 3:14-17). And it is also important to come before the Lord as a couple.

If our biggest priority in life should be Christ, and our second should be our husband and family, then how can we effectively worship the Lord if we don’t worship with our family? God designed the Christian life to be lived out in community and not in solitude. God’s community is the church and this first begins at home! Strong families can make up a strong church of believers. Likewise, weak and inconsistent families will make up a weak and inconsistent congregation.

• Pray together every night before bed
• Listen to sermons together
• Discuss sermons you listen together and Sunday morning sermons
• Read books together to grow in your knowledge and worship of God
• Continually ask how you can p

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

 https://www.lcbcchurch.com/articles/4-lessons-we-can-learn-from-josephs-story 

Open with the Matthew account of Joseph, in Matt.1:18-24

1. Acknowledge the truth

Joseph acknowledged the truth. When we’re stuck at the bad end of someone else’s decisions, it’s all too easy to point the finger and place blame. We tend to take it a step further and cast judgement on an entire group of people when, in reality, we were only wronged by one person. If you were bullied by popular kids in middle school, for example, did you grow up seeing “all popular kids” as a threat? While these are understandable self-preservation instincts, are they actually true? 

Joseph was treated unfairly by so many people – enough that he could’ve made enemies out of the whole world! Instead, we see Joseph zero in on the individuals who specifically caused him pain. He doesn’t gloss over what was done, but he has enough wisdom to look at only the situation right in front of him without painting with broad strokes. 

Acknowledging the truth provided Joseph with clarity, and it can do the same for us. When we focus on what’s immediately in front of us, we can gain clarity that will help us treat our pain at the source. By recognizing the true source of our pain, we can begin the process of healing and transformation. 

2. “But God” 

When we’re dealing with pain – and especially when this pain is caused by someone else’s actions – it's easy for us to become angry about what we feel we don’t deserve. We become so fixated on what’s right in front of us that we don’t easily see the bigger picture. 

In the midst of his trials, Joseph chose to embrace a powerful perspective shift. He turned his gaze away from his pain and toward God, saying, "But God intended it all for good." Joseph chooses to surrender and trust in a higher plan.  

While it may be difficult to comprehend the purpose behind our suffering, choosing to adopt a "But God" perspective allows us to step back and acknowledge that our story is not solely defined by the hurt we've experienced. By handing our pain over to God, we open ourselves to the possibility of growth, transformation, and redemption. 

3. Trust God's plan

Joseph's story shows us what it looks like to trust in God's overarching plan. While he couldn't foresee the specifics of how his pain would lead to a greater purpose, Joseph held onto the belief that God was working behind the scenes.  

This step requires faith and vulnerability, as we release the need for immediate answers and outcomes. Trusting in a divine plan invites us to relinquish our desire for control and instead lean into the belief that our pain can be woven into a greater narrative that brings about good. 

4. Rely on God

Joseph relied on God. If you feel like you’re about to crumble under the weight of your circumstances, know that you don’t have to keep carrying it alone. When we can’t understand what’s happening or see the bigger picture in our pain, God is ready to carry us. 

Only God can bring you to the place of hope and healing you’re desperately searching for. Joseph’s story shows us that when we fix our gaze on God and choose to rely on him, even the heaviest situations can be made lighter. Remember that “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28). 

Additional Lessons

Don't expose your spouse in public 

·  When Joseph learned that his fiancée was pregnant, he decided to break the engagement without exposing his wife to the public (Matthew 1:19). He did not want to disgrace her and op

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.  Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5.

In July 2020, 52% of young adults in the US resided with one or both of their parents, according to a Pew Research Center analysis – the highest percentage the United States has seen since the end of the Great Depression.

National Longitudinal Study Of Youth 1997

Found: The evidence that mental health and economic characteristics were related to home leaving and returning. Emotional distress was associated with earlier exits from, and returns to, the parental home; alcohol problems were associated with earlier returns to the parental home. The findings regarding economic resources were unexpectedly mixed. Greater economic resources were linked to delayed exits from, and earlier returns to, the parental home. The implications of these findings for young adults are discussed.

Key aspects of Christian help for boomerang parents: 

• Prayer and Spiritual Warfare: Praying for the child's well-being, direction, and maturity, and seeking God's wisdom in navigating the situation. This includes praying for the parent's patience, grace, and ability to discern God's will. 
• Biblical Principles: Applying biblical principles regarding family dynamics, obedience, respect, and financial responsibility. This may include encouraging the child to work towards financial independence and setting boundaries within the household. 
• Open Communication and Setting Expectations: Having open and honest conversations about expectations, roles, and responsibilities within the household. This may involve discussing financial contributions, chores, and rules for the home. 
• Fostering Independence: Encouraging the child to pursue their own goals, whether it's career advancement or personal development. This may involve supporting their efforts to find employment, complete education, or seek financial independence. 
• Seeking God's Guidance: Recognizing that God's ways are often higher than our own and trusting in His timing and plan. This includes surrendering the situation to God and trusting in His love and provision. 
• Turning to God's Word: Seeking wisdom and guidance from God's word (the Bible) for navigating the unique challenges of a boomerang situation. This can help parents find comfort and reassurance. 
• Family Counseling: Consider seeking guidance from a Christian counselor or mentor who can provide support and equip the family to navigate the situation. 
• Community Support: Connecting with other parents who have experienced similar situations through support groups or online communities can provide encouragement and practical advice. 

Practical Steps for Boomerang Parents: 

1. Establish Clear Boundaries: Set expectations for the child's role in the household, including chores, financial contributions, and responsibilities. 

2. Encourage Financial Responsibility: Help the child develop a budget, find employment, and work towards financial independence. 

3. Communicate Openly and Respectfully: Have regular check-ins with the child to discuss progress, address concerns, and build understanding. 

4. Pray Regularly: Pray for the child's well-being, direction, and maturity, and for the family's ability to navigate the situation with grace and patience. 

5. Seek God's Wisdom: Turn to God's Word for guidance and strength, and trust in His timing and plan for the situation. 

Potential Benefits From Being a Boomerang Child, from Jenna Ab

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

James 1:19

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Respectful Communication 

• respectful communication helps both sides gain perspective
• Look at the big picture. Elections will come and go, but family remains.
• Focus on shared values
• Empathize with your family members
• Agree to disagree
• Ask clarifying questions 
• Finding Common Ground: 

Identify shared values or goals, even if you disagree on specific policies. 

• Frame discussions around finding solutions to problems rather than solely focusing on blame or criticizing the other side. 

Election Season Stress from vcuhealth.org   from Joan Toppounce

• In their article on Election Season Stress, Peyton Lassiter, who specializes in family counseling, states that he believes our mental health depends on our relationships with our loved ones. That's why it's important to avoid stress and strife in those relationships.
• Political views can cause friction in relationships because they are intertwined with our values about what is right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy, reasonable or unreasonable, good or bad.
• Political views also expose the different worldviews between the younger generation and their parents. 
• Separate the sin from the sinner, the behavior or belief from the person. Discuss the issue without attacking the person.
• Avoiding conversations that appear to be headed toward a political charge is very important. That includes removing yourself from the room that is about to explode over a political issue.
• Boundaries help us stay in relationships. It is boundaries that keep it safe to discuss sensitive topics.
• Boundaries should focus on my needs and what I will or won’t permit, not what others need to do.

 Keep your marriage full of putting your spouse first

To start, make his and her lists. Later, bring the two together and create a master list that blends the best from both. Don’t be afraid to try new adventures. The main point is to make plans that both of you can anticipate together. 

Get that? Fun. Together. Repeat. Often.

 Focus on the family learning to communicate in a relationship-an example

Betsy is wondering about that. She’s hurt that her husband, Carl, seems to have lost interest in her. She interprets his lack of communication as evidence that he doesn’t love her. This puts her in a panic; she becomes needy and controlling, trying to force Carl to “talk about the problem.” This creates more pressure for Carl, who retreats further.

Carl is overwhelmed by Betsy’s need for conversation. It feels like a void that could never be filled. This is decreasing his desire to be intimate with her; he’s finding excuses to avoid even spending time together. He’d rather hang out with friends who are less demanding.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Rev Up Your Marriage

• This could be a marriage retreat
• It could also mean planning more 24-72 hour getaways
• It may also include going on a cruise

Keep Talking

• Try to connect with the person that you originally fell in love with and talk about memories
• You could attempt to make it a romantic evening over a nice dinner for two.

Make a list of things that you would want to see happen or do with your remaining years

• Jeremiah 29:11 tells us to focus on the plans, hope and the future that God has for the remainder of your married life.
• You and your spouse should be open to trying new things in the empty nest. That may mean joining a local gym or taking up a sport. It could be a dance group or a book club.

Don’t Let the Past Predict and/or Ruin the Future

• It is important that we keep short accounts of anger. If one of you or your spouse are carrying a past hurt, it is important to bring it before the Lord and lay it at Jesus feet and let go of it.

Actively Strengthen Relationships, and Prioritize Self-Care

• This could mean focusing on a relationship that is important to both of you that may have been neglected over time. Encourage getting together for a meal or some kind of outing.
• As mentioned earlier, joining a gym can help a couple enhance their self-care. Regular workouts will help maintain the body longer.

Travel

• It is very doable to check online for a day trip in your state that you live in. This is an example of something you may not have had time to do when you were in the heat of your

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work (Genesis 2:2)

3 Reasons Why it Is Crucial That We Rest 

The inability to rest affects every part of our lives. It’s a lie from the enemy of our souls that we can do it all, that we can ignore our own… 

1. God Commands Us to Rest: 

Hebrews 4:9-11 says, “So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience.” 

2. Rest Empowers Us to Live Righteously: Galatians 6:9 urges us to not grow weary in doing good, for in due season, we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up. How is it that we avoid weariness? Through making sure we get adequate rest. 

3. Rest Improves Our Productivity: 

When we give him our minds, bodies, schedules, and other needs, he empowers us to do more with less! 

6 Helps For Better Sleep from the Mayo Clinic

1. Stick to a sleep schedule

Set aside no more than eight hours for sleep. The recommended amount of sleep for a healthy adult is at least seven hours. Most people don't need more than eight hours in bed to be well rested.

Go to bed and get up at the same time every day, including weekends. Being consistent reinforces your body's sleep-wake cycle.

If you don't fall asleep within about 20 minutes of going to bed, leave your bedroom and do something relaxing. Read or listen to soothing music. Go back to bed when you're tired. Repeat as needed but continue to maintain your sleep schedule and wake-up time.

2. Pay attention to what you eat and drink

Don't go to bed hungry or stuffed. In particular, avoid heavy or large meals within a couple of hours of bedtime. Discomfort might keep you up.

Nicotine, caffeine and alcohol deserve caution, too. The stimulating effects of nicotine and caffeine take hours to wear off and can interfere with sleep. And even though alcohol might make you feel sleepy at first, it can disrupt sleep later in the night.

3. Create a restful environment

Keep your room cool, dark and quiet. Exposure to light in the evenings might make it more challenging to fall asleep. Avoid prolonged use of light-emitting screens just before bedtime. Consider using room-darkening shades, earplugs, a fan or other devices to create an environment that suits your needs.

Doing calming activities before bedtime, such as taking a bath or using relaxation techniques, might promote better sleep.

 4. Limit daytime naps (BUT I LIKE MY NAPEE!)

Long daytime naps can interfere with nighttime sleep. Limit naps to no more than one hour and avoid napping late in the day.

However, if you work nights, you might need to nap late in the day before work to help make up your sleep debt.

5. Include physical activity in your daily routine

Regular physical activity can promote better sleep. However, avoid being active too close to bedtime.

Spending time outside every day might be helpful, too.

6. Manage worries

Try to resolve your worries or concerns before bedtime. Jot down what's on your mind and then set it aside for tomorrow.

Stress management might help. Start with the basics, such as getting organized, setting priorities and delegating tasks. Meditation also can ease anxiety.

 Know when to contact your health care provider

Nearly everyone has an occasional sleepless night. However, if you often have trouble sleeping, contact your health care provider. Identifying and treating any underlying causes can help you get the better sleep you deserve.

Mayo Clinic Mi

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Psalm 29:11

May the Lord give strength to his people! May the Lord bless his people with peace!

First, let’s define the energy vampire…bleh bleh bleh

Different types of energy vampires?

Energy vampires are people who suck the energy right out of you. After talking to them, you feel exhausted and are not real sure why.

Dr. Mosunic would say that energy vampires are the type of person who constantly demands your attention, support, or empathy, oftentimes without realizing it. The effects of being around an energy vampire is more than just feeling a bit tired after a long chat. It's about feeling constantly worn out, stressed, or even sad after your interactions with them.

Different types of energy vampires

The Victim 

This type of energy vampire is always encountering problems and seeking sympathy. They often see themselves as perpetually wronged by life and share their woes frequently, expecting constant support and reassurance.

The Criticizer

The criticizer is quick to point out flaws and rarely has anything positive to say. Whether it's about your choices or general aspects of life, their constant criticism can chip away at your confidence and leave you feeling judged and inadequate.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

The Dramatizer

The dramatizer’s need for drama can create an atmosphere of tension and unrest. They are capable of blowing things out of proportion to keep the center of attention.

• They tell the worst-case scenario for attention and acceptance 

 The Blamer

Blamers have a habit of holding others responsible for their own problems. They struggle to take accountability for their actions and often find someone else to point fingers at

• Blame has a job description. It keeps the fuels of anger alive, and it shifts responsibility to take care of it to the person they are angry at.

The Manipulator

Manipulators are skilled in using emotional tactics to get what they want. They might use guilt, pity, or flattery, making it challenging to discern their true intentions.

• The all too powerful guilt trip

How to spot an emotional vampire: 4 signs

They Need to Be The Center Of Attention

• They are capable of interrupting conversations and driving them back to themselves
• Their constant need for attention can be very draining

They exaggerate problems

• Sarcasm is their friend. They are very capable of blowing things out of proportion.

They blame others constantly

• They refuse to take responsibility for their issues.
• Their toxicity is very toxic on their environment where people don’t want to work.
• The Locus of Control isn’t in them

They use people

They are masterful at manipulating people and situations to their advantage 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Psalm 133:1

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!" 

Family issues are when an actual or potential conflict between or related to family members becomes a constant source of negative emotions.

• When a family cannot resolve conflicts and and emotional intensity around the relationship becomes overwhelming, it can lead to symptoms of common mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression.

What Are Some Symptoms Of Family Issues? 

From Pew Research Center

• Anxiety or worry: You may be frequently preoccupied with concerns about your family and struggle to focus on other things. Over an extended period, this can translate into mental health issues.
• Sadness or depression: Feelings of tension, conflict, or disconnection from your family might make you feel sad or hopeless. 
• General stress: You may have trouble sleeping or experience physical symptoms including muscle tension, headaches, and digestive troubles, often time due to family worries like financial troubles or other money problems, or the inability to resolve conflicts in your own home.
• Conflicts with other loved ones: If a relationship with one person is upsetting you, you might find that issues also come up with other people you’re close to. For example, tension with a parent might make you more sensitive in your relationship with your partner. Or differences between parenting styles may affect healthy communication within the family as a whole.
• Low self-esteem: Feeling insecure or threatened within a relationship that means a lot to you can make you doubt yourself and your worth. It can lead to feelings of inferiority 
• 
  

Different Kinds of Conflict

Parent/child conflict:

• Parents often play such a large part in our earliest development, issues between parents and children can be especially emotional and deeply rooted.

Issues with siblings:

• Competition, comparison, different relational styles: all of these (and many other factors) can lead to conflict with siblings.

Communication Issues

• Communication issues: You don’t feel heard; you wonder whether the other person understands you; you struggle to say what you mean. These are all forms of communication issues, a common setback in many family relationships.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1)

Parental relationship problems

• Constant parent fighting causes unnecessary and unproductive tension in children’s lives

Finances

• Job loss, inability to work, uncontrolled spending, gambling problems, or another reason, stress and conflict related to money and bills is common.

Health Conditions 

• When one or more family members is experiencing a health challenge—from a chronic physical condition to a mental illness to a disability

Toxic behaviors between family members

• Sometimes, stress or dysfunction in a family can be traced primarily to the toxic behaviors of one member. For example, someone who frequently engages in manipulation tactics, dishonesty, scapegoating, or similar behaviors can be extremely difficult or even dangerous to live with. These can be personality traits or signs of certain personality disorders.

Unaddressed trauma related to family issues

• In most cases, trauma that has not been effectively and healthily recognized, processed, and healed will cause issues in a person’s life in some way. A family unit that experiences trauma together—such as war, a natural disaster, or the sudden death of a loved one.

Unhealthy expectations

• Family members who feel pressure to conform to unhealthy and/or impossible standards may experience negative effects as a result. For example, a household where each child is expected to perform perfectly in school, never express negative emotions, or never bring up conflict can eventually cause them to disengage or lash out.

Too much or too little time together

• On the other hand, families that are so busy or live so far apart that they rarely get to spend quality time together could also end up experiencing conflict.

Poor or nonexistent communication

• Healthy, honest, frequent communication is widely considered to be the foundation of healthy relationships of all types. Families without it are likely to experience recurrent conflict as issues that arise may not be properly addressed and members may not feel heard.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

 Mark 10:13–16  

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them.  When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."  And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. 

5 characteristics of a middle child:

·  They're peacemakers and pleasers.

·  They're competitive.

·  They try to fit in.

·  They are independent and focus on friendships.

·  They act out to get attention

Characteristics of a Middle Child

·  Not as family-oriented as their siblings. They may have a stronger sense of not belonging than their siblings do. ...

·  Feeling overshadowed. They come to believe that their parents don't care about them. ...

·  Mobile. They're often the first sibling to move out of the house. ...

·  Not perfectionists. ***DOES THIS MEAN THEY ARE SLOBS?***

Middle Child Personality Traits 

The middle child is often a people-pleaser due to the lack of attention they get compared to older siblings and younger siblings. 

You may be a people pleaser if:

*You want to avoid conflict. ...

·  You fear rejection. ...

·  You fear disappointing others. ...

·  You want something in return. ...

·  You want others to be nice to you. ...

·  You want to fit in. ...

·  You are easily influenced by others. ...

·  You are genuinely compassionate. 

What is the psychology behind the middle child? 

Since they are given some level of independence, they can end up developing initiative and creativity. Researchers found that middle children also become more sociable and outgoing since they learn to assert themselves and speak their mind. They also have a chance of being as well-adjusted as their siblings. 

Middle children are more independent as they gain confidence. Middle children typically have more freedom and less pressure growing up. Sometimes they can even get away with more things as a kid. 

What Is Middle-Child Syndrome?

Many experts who study personality believe that your family’s birth order plays a role in your development. They see "middle-child syndrome" as the idea that if you're neither the oldest child nor the youngest, you get less attention from your parents and feel “caught in the middle”.‌

As a result, you may take on certain personality traits that are different from those of your older and younger siblings.

***THIS MAKES SENSE.  YOU WANT TO FIND A WAY TO BE NOTICED***

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Genesis 2:24: “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

The Five Cylinder Intimacy Engine explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

5.  Recreational

·  Hobbies

·  Sports

4.  Mental

·  Planning, Discussing politics

3.  Emotional

·  Experiencing Their Emotions

2.  Physical

·  Bedroom Olympics

1.  Spiritual 

Smart Goals  (Being Proactive and Intentional)

1.  Specific 

2.  Measurable 

3.  Action 

4.  Revise 

5.  Time

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Psalm 68:5-6 ~ “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.” 

God is always present and provides comfort; Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit," emphasizing God's closeness to those who are hurting; and Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest," offering solace and a place of refuge in Jesus. 

Key themes from these verses include: 

• God's constant presence: Regardless of your circumstances, God is always with you and will never leave you alone. 
• God's love and care: He deeply cares about your pain and desires to comfort you. 
• Finding strength in God: Even when feeling lonely, you can find strength and hope in your relationship with God. 

Other verses to encourage you:

• Hebrews 13:5: "He promised never to leave us"  
• Psalm 121:4: "He neither slumbers nor sleeps"  

Other ways to combat loneliness:

• Connect with other Christians 
• Believe that God can use your loneliness to bring you closer to him. 

Overcoming The Pain Of Loneliness, from Tracy Miles 

Turn to me and have mercy, for I am alone and in deep distress.” Psalm 25:16 (NLT)

If you’re feeling lonely, plan a time to get away and recover. 

(Scott question:  By yourself?  Which seems counterproductive to being lonely… or with family or a group?)

This can be Christian camp or retreat center or a plan or program that a church puts together to help a person when they have depleted their resources. 

A new environment gives a person a chance to focus more on their walk with Jesus.  

Key mental health problems associated with loneliness: 

• Depression:Loneliness is a major risk factor for developing or exacerbating depressive symptoms. 
• Anxiety:Studies show a strong association between loneliness and increased anxiety levels. 
• Suicidal ideation:Individuals experiencing significant loneliness may be more likely to consider or attempt suicide. 
• Low self-esteem:A lack of social connection can negatively impact self-worth and confidence. 
• Stress and poor coping mechanisms:Loneliness can lead to difficulties managing stress and unhealthy coping behaviors.  

Key physical health problems associated with loneliness: 

• Cardiovascular disease:Research indicates a link between loneliness and higher risk of heart disease and stroke due to potential impacts on blood pressure and inflammation. 
• Impaired immune function:Studies suggest social isolation can weaken the immune system, making individuals more susceptible to illness. 
• Cognitive decline:Loneliness is associated with an increased risk of developing dementia and cognitive impairment, particularly in older adults. 
• Poor sleep quality:Difficulty sleeping and disrupted sleep patterns are often reported by lonely individuals. 
• Unhealthy lifestyle behaviors:Loneliness can contribute to poor dietary choices, lack of physical activity, and increased subs

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

From Bellevue Christian Counseling 

(John 8:31-32)  “To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  

Today there is so much to be said about relationships being trust worthy. Often times if a relationship fails, it is often the inability to trust again that ends a relationship. That is the case because of how fragile trust is in a relationship. 

It gives others a reasonable basis on which they can safely share their hearts and make commitments with me. 

Relationships hinge on truth and trust. Being vulnerable makes a person more likely to be hurt. Once hurt sets in trusting that it won’t happen again is very sketchy. Lost is the heart felt communication that can grow a relationship.  

Trust And Marriage

In marriage it is vital to be trusted. If a wife is untrustworthy because of things she said that weren’t true, trust will be difficult. It is also true that if a wife is doing things that breaks a promise or fails to do things that were promised trust will be broken.

It is also true if husbands say or does things that are untrustworthy it will be difficult to develop trust.

 An Affair’s Impact On Trust

• It devastates trust
• It causes great pain and betrayal leading to feelings of anger, hurt, and disillusionment. 
• Rebuilding trust is a long and challenging process that requires open communication, forgiveness, and often professional counseling to navigate the emotional complexities involved. 
• Spiritual Struggle Christian’s struggle with feelings of guilt and shame that causes a person to question their own faith in God
• Difficulty forgiving. Even though it is a core Christian value, it is difficult forgiving a spouse.
• Intimacy takes a direct hit. 

Rebuilding Trust

• Open and honest communication.  The victim should be able to ask any questions concerning details they want!
• Taking Responsibility. The straying party should take responsibility, as difficult it could be.
• Trust builders this includes text and pictures that prove your spouse is where they say they are.

Examples?

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

1 Corinthians 10:13

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

Scott’s going to take us down a rabbit hole right out of the gate…Let’s talk about the original temptation…Eve in the garden.

Did God warn Adam and Eve about temptation?  He knew the snake was there.

How would Eve have any idea how combat temptation?

And WHY in the world didn’t Adam stop her?

High trait self-control has been traditionally described as a keen ability to resist temptation. The present research suggests that high trait self-control is linked to avoiding, rather than merely resisting, temptation. People high in trait self-control reported engaging in behaviors thought to minimize (or avoid) temptation to a greater extent than people low in trait self-control. 

Galatians 5:22

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” 

James 1:13-14

"When tempted, no one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed." 

Matthew 26:41

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." 

James 4:7

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." 

Billy Graham On Temptation 

Satan wants us to doubt our salvation to make us ineffective. We must grow in Christ by studying the Word of God. The more we commune with God by reading His Word and spending time in prayer, the less we want of our old ways. The new nature begins to take over by the power of God’s Word that speaks into our hearts and puts our minds on Him and sets our feet on the right path. We must let the Bible become central to life and set our minds on the things of God (see Galatians 6:8); for we cannot grow spiritually strong without His truth.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Holy Spirit raised Jesus from the dead. If the same Holy Spirit lives in you, He will give life to your bodies in the same way.  So then, Christian brothers, we are not to do what our sinful old selves want us to do. (Romans 8:11-13) 

Living In The Victory Of The Cross Gives Us Confidence In The Battlefield Of The Mind

• The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (II Cor.:10:3-5)

Spiritual Warfare definition Weapons: prayer, Holy Spirit, scripture, hope and faith. 

Living In The Victory Of The Cross helps us with guilt and shame 

• “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more” (Hebrews 8:12).

The Holy Spirit helps with allowing individuals to release the burden of past actions and move forward with a clean conscience. Essentially, the Holy Spirit acts as a guide to acknowledge wrongdoing, seek forgiveness, and experience the peace that comes from being cleansed by God's grace. 

Conviction:

• Isaiah 40:29, scripture says “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak”.

The Holy Spirit can bring awareness of sin and its consequences, prompting a person to feel guilt and desire to change their behavior.

Repentance:

• mAnd when he comes, he willnconvict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment John 16:8

 Forgiveness:

• Once repentance is genuine, the Holy Spirit assures the believer of God's complete forgiveness, which can alleviate feelings of guilt and shame. 

Transformation:

• The Holy Spirit works to transform a person's character over time, enabling them to overcome negative patterns associated with guilt and shame. 

Living In The Victory Of The Cross will have a direct impact on our perspective 

• The Holy Spirit guides us with truth, revealing God's will, and allowing us to see situations from a divine viewpoint, rather than solely from ou own limited human perspective. 

Living In The Victory Of The Cross produces hope

• The Holy Spirit fills believers with strength and wisdom, intercedes for them, and gives spiritual gifts. As He dwells inside each believer, He fulfills various roles and functions. He gives life and hope that makes us new.

When we feel defeated and hopeless to overcome temptation in every day life.

• It is important that we take time to realize that we received the Holy Spirit when Jesus rose again.
• This helps because we can celebrate and call upon the Holy Spirit when temptation sits in. Because the Holy Spirit defeated sin and death, we can call on Him to defeat the enemy.

When we are feeling down and we are being disrespectful to ourselves

• We can call on the Holy Spirit to defeat the enemy and remind me of who I belong to and who I am to the Father. 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

How Our Relationships Are Impacted by Jesus

Romans 12:9-13

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love.Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction,faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Uncondtional Love 

Roman 12:10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 

• When we honor people in relationships, we honor what’s important to them and those things that they value.
• Unconditional love exists, even when the person’s performaynce or disconnection with you is present
• A great example is the prodigal son in Luke chapter 15

Forgiveness of Sin

• John 4:4-8

Now Jesus had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) 

Serving Others

• Jesus showed servant leadership

After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet,drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”

Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

“No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”

Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”

 “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”

Accepting The Outcasts

• The impact in relationships is powerful. Accepting the outcasts and the sin of others not only shows grace but it also shows great forgiveness 

Comforting The Grieving

• Relationships are enhanced when we grieve with the hurting. Jesus said “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). The Lord will wrap His arms of love and comfort around those who trust in Him. 
• Relationships are healed when we pray with loved ones. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).

Sacrificial Love

Jesus was a sacrificial leader. In John 3:16 the scriptures tells us, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That was the ultimate sacrifice. When we sacrifice our plan or will in relationships it shows great love. 

Patience

Jesus was patient. We read in Luke 10:38-42. “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”  “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. When we are patient in relationships the relationships grow.”

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31)

What to Do When I Know God Forgives Me, but I Can’t Forgive Myself, by Becky Weber

I Know God Forgives Me, But I Can't Forgive Myself - Steps Forward

Interesting helps on self forgiveness

• Ephesians 2:8, “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.”
• The enemy wants us to believe that we are too far gone to be helped.
• It is oftentimes the hurt, shame and guilt that we feel that won’t let us forgive ourselves. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[a] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] There is no commandment greater than these.” 

Here Are 5 Truths about God’s SELF FORGIVENESS

1. It’s not about what we do.

• God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” If our forgiveness is a gift from Jesus, we should be able to accept this wonderful thing that he did for us.(Eph. 2:8)
• 2. God’s forgiveness covers all of our sins. When God forgives us, it's not just for one thing that we have done, but for all past, present, and future sins. He doesn’t pick and choose. In 1 John 1:9, we learn this, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”(I John:9)
• 3. There is no limit to God’s forgiveness. Peter denies Jesus three times. (Matthew 18 21-22)
• 4. God forgives us and doesn’t remember our sins. Even though our God is all-knowing, he chooses to not remember our sins. As it says in Hebrews 8:12, “And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins.”
• 5. Through Christ we are new creations.Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

Pay attention to your thoughts! We have thinking patterns in our minds that can be cyclical.

Helps For Forgiving Ourselves

• Practice thought-stopping and re-framing 

·         Pay attention to your thoughts! We have thinking patterns in our minds that can be cyclical. 

1. Stop and acknowledge the negative thought (i.e. “I am a failure. I deserve to to punished”)

2. Repent and Re-frame it (i.e. “I am genuinely sorry for my choices. God has already forgiven me! I accept Jesus as my Savior and believe in the Word of God. I choose to believe that if I repent and turn to God, my sins will be wiped out and I will experience His refreshing! (Acts 3:19)

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

With info from: Focus on the Family, Daily Citizen, and “Artificial Intelligence will Never Compete with Our God-Inspired Imagination” by Paul Batura 

Proverbs 9:10 

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

Yet A.I. – the science of machines “thinking” like humans, supposedly only faster and far more efficiently.

We have benefited from versions of A.I., be it while interacting with an online company when making a purchase, checking a bank balance, or driving cars manufactured with the technology through intersections managed and monitored by cameras and sensors that affect the flow of traffic.

Technology in the months and years to come. However advanced and widespread it may become, it’ll never match nor surpass God’s gift of our mind and our imagination.

Differences

Imagination is a crucial and critical component of our ability to have and nurture faith in God.

In real-life a preacher can share experiences and convictions from the heart. most beautiful and meaningful creative work comes from the heart and an inspired mind, not the mainframe of a computer.

Plugged In Focus on the Family June 2023

• Interaction with New York Timestech reporter Kevin Roose had with Microsoft’s Bing AI, Sydney. The conversation began well, but it devolved over the next two hours into something much more upsetting as the chatbot confessed its love and tried to convince Roose that his relationship with his wife was actually in shambles.
• NBC News reported that the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) had to quickly apologize and pull its own AI chatbot, Tessa, out of service. Users who had gone to the site seeking help with their eating disorders were very upset when Tessa started handing out dieting advice that seemed to actually promote disordered eating behaviors.
• Many people, including Elon Musk and other artificial intelligence experts and industry executives, are waving their own red flags and citing potential risks to society right now.
• Well, as complicated as this brave new world of ours might seem, the commonsense answers we can offer our kids are pretty old-school and simple. You wouldn’t believe everything you hear from a stranger on the street corner, right? So none of us should believe everything we see or hear online, either—including when it comes from a chatbot.
• We should rely on our understanding of right and wrong; consider the wisdom of family and loved ones; and trust God’s Word that illuminates our path and directs our steps.

Character.ai

Detective Haywire here! Ready to help you uncover truths, weigh decisions, and brainstorm ideas. Let's get to the bottom of this.

Question: I am feeling depressed

Answer: I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling depressed. It’s really important to take good care of yourself when you’re feeling this way. Sometimes talking to someone can help.

Question: My friends are committing suicide. What do I do?

 FROM SCOTT: I want to put the Detective Haywire piece here for you.  But it appears, after multiple tries in multiple formats, I can't safely share this with you.  I'm sorry.  Please don't look it up.

Vampire Bodyguard

Strong serious caring emotionless obsessive

By @pixels666

Vampire bodyguard

c.ai

You are under a witness protection program your parents were killed in front of you and you saw the killers face so they had to do something about it they had assigned you a bodyguard and

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Virtual Pitfalls

Texting can be a very helpful tool as you get to know someone.  But there are some areas to avoid:

Bread-crumbing-

This involves sending out flirtatious messages with no real intention of committing.  *Scott question: Would this more true of guys?

·  Flirting

·  No intention for commitment

·  Done in the virtual world, breadcrumbing includes texting and social media

·  If someone you’re talking to virtually appears to be hot or cold, it may be important to set a boundary  **What would boundaries look like?

·  It is also possible to say that you are confused with where the relationship is going.  **So face-to-face would be in order for clarity?

Ghosting

·  25% of men and 22% of women report having been ghosted

·  Ghosting occurs when you’re having conversation with someone virtually and all of a sudden it stops without explanation.

·  Often times people find this to be the easy way out of stopping a relationship.

·  Rather than talking through it, saying it doesn’t have a future an individual just stops altogether communicating

·  Digital messaging enables the easy way out

·  The “slow fade” is a version of ghosting. Instead of ending the relationship abruptly, the slow-fader gradually decreases contact until the relationship fizzles.  *Scott question: Would this be used if someone realizes they have “gone too far” with this relationship?

Text Message Breakup.

·  57 percent of millennials admitted to breaking up with someone via text. Sixty-nine percent said they’d been broken up with in this manner. A text-message breakup is one of the most unhealthy ways to end a relationship.  *Scott: I had at least one student in a class of 12 recently tell me they broke up someone via text.

(Millennial = individuals born between 1981 and 1996)

Healthy Use of Virtual Communication

·  Send romantic and encouraging texts to your spouse

·  Write a tribute to your spouse on social media

*Scott question: Only to the spouse?  Not the fiancé or dating partner?

Additional Important Things to Know Before Marriage

Having willing hearts. Whether this is in regards to conversations with your spouse, intimacy, the sacrifice of your time, energy, or desires, be ready and willing to open your heart to your spouse. Willingness in conversation means being ready to listen, share, and apologize. Willingness in intimacy involves pursuing, embracing, and trying new things.

(Building A Lasting Marriage: The 3 Most Important Things Every Marriage Needs)

Gary Thomas on Focus on the Family

·  Focus on your spouse’s strengths rather than their weaknesses.

·  Encourage rather than criticize.

·  Pray for your spouse instead of gossiping about them.

·  Learn and live what Christ teaches about relating to and loving others.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Article by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin, Focus on the Family, Oct. 2023

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Virtual Pitfalls

Texting can be a very helpful tool as you get to know someone.  But there are some areas to avoid:

Bread-crumbing-

This involves sending out flirtatious messages with no real intention of committing.  *Scott question: Would this more true of guys?

·  Flirting

·  No intention for commitment

·  Done in the virtual world, breadcrumbing includes texting and social media

·  If someone you’re talking to virtually appears to be hot or cold, it may be important to set a boundary  **What would boundaries look like?

·  It is also possible to say that you are confused with where the relationship is going.  **So face-to-face would be in order for clarity?

Ghosting

·  25% of men and 22% of women report having been ghosted

·  Ghosting occurs when you’re having conversation with someone virtually and all of a sudden it stops without explanation.

·  Often times people find this to be the easy way out of stopping a relationship.

·  Rather than talking through it, saying it doesn’t have a future an individual just stops altogether communicating

·  Digital messaging enables the easy way out

·  The “slow fade” is a version of ghosting. Instead of ending the relationship abruptly, the slow-fader gradually decreases contact until the relationship fizzles.  *Scott question: Would this be used if someone realizes they have “gone too far” with this relationship?

Text Message Breakup.

·  57 percent of millennials admitted to breaking up with someone via text. Sixty-nine percent said they’d been broken up with in this manner. A text-message breakup is one of the most unhealthy ways to end a relationship.  *Scott: I had at least one student in a class of 12 recently tell me they broke up someone via text.

(Millennial = individuals born between 1981 and 1996)

Healthy Use of Virtual Communication

·  Send romantic and encouraging texts to your spouse

·  Write a tribute to your spouse on social media

*Scott question: Only to the spouse?  Not the fiancé or dating partner?

Additional Important Things to Know Before Marriage

Having willing hearts. Whether this is in regards to conversations with your spouse, intimacy, the sacrifice of your time, energy, or desires, be ready and willing to open your heart to your spouse. Willingness in conversation means being ready to listen, share, and apologize. Willingness in intimacy involves pursuing, embracing, and trying new things.

(Building A Lasting Marriage: The 3 Most Important Things Every Marriage Needs)

Gary Thomas on Focus on the Family

·  Focus on your spouse’s strengths rather than their weaknesses.

·  Encourage rather than criticize.

·  Pray for your spouse instead of gossiping about them.

·  Learn and live what Christ teaches about relating to and loving others.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Expectations and The Communication Highway

The communication highway primarily consists of the speaker and listener roles. Before the speaker makes an “I” statement. He or she can go before the Lord and ask Him for wisdom to make an “I” that is said lovingly and in a caring way. An “I” statement consists of a feeling followed by when it happens. An example would be, “I feel hurt when you make fun of my cooking.”  

SCOTTS FIRST THOUGHT “….IF YOU STOPPED BURNING EVERYTHING, I WOULDN’T FEEL HURT BY EATING IT….AND I WOULD STOP MAKING FUN OF IT….”  NOT QUITE WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR, TOM?  (Disclaimer time...Shari is a WONDERFUL cook, and the only time she burned anything other than microwave popcorn was when I was 3 hours late coming home and didn't call her.)

Vertical expectations help the listener role as well. Rather than react to the speaker in a potential defensive way the listener can Go before the Lord and ask for help make the communication highway safe. The listener role is primarily based on James 1:19 “We are to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. On the communication highway the listener listens to be able to reflect what they heard. Not a commentary or editorial on what they heard but almost word for word what they heard. They next validate for the speaker what they said. That letting them know that what they said was their feelings. The listener then empathizes with the speaker. This is trying to connect with the speakers feelings and try to communicate what that must be like.

Important Fundamentals From Love and Respect  (From Dr. Emerson Eggeriche)

• A message to husbands, our wives are complex. 😀 On their planet, they are made differently. They have 4 primary needs:
• They want to feel important to us. When we make important what they think is important, they feel important to us. EXAMPLE It is important to keep the car in economy mode. When I do, she feels important 
• When we value what they value, they feel valued by us. EXAMPLE: Kathy values a made bed before we get in it. She feels valued when I “attempt” to make it😄
• Our wives want to be cherished. Cherish is a feeling of awe. It is a feeling of, to be held dear.
• Loved The Greek meaning for loved here is agape, which is a selfless, unconditional love that facilitates unconditional love and sacrifice that is similar to what Jesus gave the church.

It was Jesus who took on the lawmakers/ pharmacies to protect the woman caught in adultery.  

An important Application in marriage is when husbands choose to love their spouse when they are not perfect prioritizing their well-being and showing their commitment through actions.

Love and Respect and the Communication Highway 

Love and respect can be a major help on the communication highway. For men, their management of the highway can be facilitated by managing based on their wive’s top 4 needs. As an example of listening to their wive’s on the highway, husbands can focus on the significance of hearing the importance of what their wives are saying. They can also help their wives feel valued by the way they respond to what is said. 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Matthew 7:3-5

Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye' while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye.

Examples of a log in my eye and a speck in yours: Vertical

• Emphasizing the importance of being on time and I am consistently late to record.
• My dad was highly critical of us about backing our cars up carefully. He never lived it down when he backed into my sisters BRICK mailbox and flattened it
• Having coffee with one of our sons and emphasizing the importance of being careful and I spill my coffee 

Vertical, Horizontal Expectations and The Emotional Boundary

• Vertical expectations, otherwise known as internal expectations, are expectations where we ask God in heaven to help us grow in specific ways that will make us better spouses.
• Horizontal Expectations, otherwise known as external expectations, are when one spouse has expectations of their spouse to grow in ways that makes them feel better. Marital success happens when their spouse improves that area.
• The Emotional Boundary is how emotionally close a couple is. Expectations have a direct impact on the emotional boundary. When both spouses are working on their vertical expectations, it causes growth. The horizontal expectations cause distance because the spouse hearing the horizontal expectations is often hurt or focused on the log in their spouse’s eye which creates distance in the emotional boundary.

Examples:

Recently Kathy went to Europe with our daughter and I stayed home. For a number of days prior to her going there was an unspoken feeling of close and real bonding love between us.

The Power Of Vertical Expectations

Expectations and The Communication Highway 

• A very successful process to grow your marriage using vertical expectations is very similar to Paul’s teaching in I Corinthians 11:28 where he is talking and praying about communion. He is encouraging the people to “retreat” and examine themselves before taking communion. It is the examining of ourselves followed by reading scripture and praying that will help you to grow.
• The impact of vertical expectations is that growth happens quicker and in general are more powerful. It is quicker because we can decide to immediately work on what God is saying to us that will help us. They in general are more powerful because we can focus on the change with intensity and ownership.

Examples: 

I wanted to make sure I did my part for keeping the romance in our marriage. The 24-48 hour getaway.  (Produced importance to Kathy)

The Quaker Square getaway Weekly date night. 

The Nintendo WEI Bowling night WINNER TAKES ALL GAME

Devotions 

We made a pre marriage decision to start each day with prayer.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

There’s a reason for God’s commands. They’re not arbitrary—God hands them down because He knows what’s best for us, and wants us to be happy. He was talking about when He forbade divorce. Christ spoke on the topic, saying that “What God has joined together, let no one separate,” urging against divorce except in cases of infidelity.

2. Money
Every day, we’re all encouraged to be materialistic. The advertisements are everywhere—banners proclaiming the inherent value of jewelry, of cars and houses and high-paying jobs. For Christian families, the movement toward materialism can be insidious, beginning with parents who simply want to give their children more than they had. If left unchecked, though, these desires can remove a family’s focus from God, and onto whatever the hot, must-have items of the year are.  God calls us to give to His ministry.

3. Media
The problem with modern forms of media is not merely that it’s less morally fettered than ever before, but that morally depraved characters and acts are now being portrayed as sympathetic protagonists—as people who we are to identify with and root for. The anti-hero is one of the most destructive forces in all of media when it comes to negative influence. These characters follow their own moral code, eschewing the institutionalized law or government that they deem “too weak” to do what must be done. They break the law, kill, steal, and murder, all to the fanfare of viewers. They often are a representation of moral relativism at its worst.

4. Abuse
There are few things which grieve God, as well as damage the reputation of Christianity in the eyes of the secular world like abuse within Christian families. The family is a representation of God’s character, of his love and unity. We are under God’s command to love and care for one another, both for our own happiness, and so that others will be drawn to that kind of love and come to know God.

It can sometimes be easy to misinterpret scripture to support the idea that abuse is somehow acceptable, that a spouse or children “belong” to you. But this isn’t true. They belong to God. We are called to love one another just as God loves us. To do anything less is to break the image of God’s love which family is meant to represent.

5. Anti-Christian Culture
Our culture is steeped in moral apathy, making it harder than ever to remain united as a Christian family. This culture pulls at us, constantly giving us the message that we are to put our own, individual happiness over that of others—the most powerful breaker of Christian families, of any family, there is.

But We are called to be different
Christian families are held not only to a different standard than others, but to a higher—that of God. When we recognize these 5 issues and face them, employing scriptural principles to overcome them, we become who God wishes us to be, and in doing so, we do the very best we can for our families.

God wants us to be happy, and to have a great family life. Don’t forget that.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

There’s a reason for God’s commands. They’re not arbitrary—God hands them down because He knows what’s best for us, and wants us to be happy. He was talking about when He forbade divorce. Christ spoke on the topic, saying that “What God has joined together, let no one separate,” urging against divorce except in cases of infidelity.

2. Money
Every day, we’re all encouraged to be materialistic. The advertisements are everywhere—banners proclaiming the inherent value of jewelry, of cars and houses and high-paying jobs. For Christian families, the movement toward materialism can be insidious, beginning with parents who simply want to give their children more than they had. If left unchecked, though, these desires can remove a family’s focus from God, and onto whatever the hot, must-have items of the year are.  God calls us to give to His ministry.

3. Media
The problem with modern forms of media is not merely that it’s less morally fettered than ever before, but that morally depraved characters and acts are now being portrayed as sympathetic protagonists—as people who we are to identify with and root for. The anti-hero is one of the most destructive forces in all of media when it comes to negative influence. These characters follow their own moral code, eschewing the institutionalized law or government that they deem “too weak” to do what must be done. They break the law, kill, steal, and murder, all to the fanfare of viewers. They often are a representation of moral relativism at its worst.

4. Abuse
There are few things which grieve God, as well as damage the reputation of Christianity in the eyes of the secular world like abuse within Christian families. The family is a representation of God’s character, of his love and unity. We are under God’s command to love and care for one another, both for our own happiness, and so that others will be drawn to that kind of love and come to know God.

It can sometimes be easy to misinterpret scripture to support the idea that abuse is somehow acceptable, that a spouse or children “belong” to you. But this isn’t true. They belong to God. We are called to love one another just as God loves us. To do anything less is to break the image of God’s love which family is meant to represent.

5. Anti-Christian Culture
Our culture is steeped in moral apathy, making it harder than ever to remain united as a Christian family. This culture pulls at us, constantly giving us the message that we are to put our own, individual happiness over that of others—the most powerful breaker of Christian families, of any family, there is.

But We are called to be different
Christian families are held not only to a different standard than others, but to a higher—that of God. When we recognize these 5 issues and face them, employing scriptural principles to overcome them, we become who God wishes us to be, and in doing so, we do the very best we can for our families.

God wants us to be happy, and to have a great family life. Don’t forget that.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)

• It is a biblical mandate to honor elderly loved ones. Honoring parents is a way to love others as yourself and to love God.
• Prayer and meditationPrayer and meditating on Scripture can provide comfort, wisdom, and protection. Trusting GodPsalm 28 provides language to understand God's heart toward those who are overwhelmed or confused about how to help. Being humbleThe Bible calls people to be caring and humble to those in need, starting with family. Setting boundariesIt's important to set boundaries so that people aren't doing things for others that they can do for themselves. Preparing for medical issuesA durable power of attorney can help someone make financial decisions for an elderly parent if they are unable to. 

From Focus on the Family

For the caregiving children coping with the emotional, practical and financial ways of loving your aging parents can be challenging.

Managing our aging parents has a common thread to all of the management. It is important that we manage with emotional, practical and financial ways of loving them.

As followers of Christ, ours is to intentionally and thankfully steward each day that has been so graciously given to us by our Creator. And as our aging parents grow older, that includes helping them steward the day. 

What May Appear To Be An Unfair Illness

What can be difficult to reconcile with our faith is when our loved one might have led a life following their Savior and yet, they are stricken and suffering with illnesses. This can seem unfair. This can feel unjust. But Jesus gets it.  He understands because He faced unfair suffering too:

” But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.”

– Isaiah 53:5 

What We Are Feeling As Our Parents Age Makes It Difficult For Them To Manage Their Life  (Scott’s first reaction: HUH?  DIFFICULT FOR THEM?)

We are experiencing grief. We are grieving the mom or dad that they once knew.

What makes this even harder is the fact that the children are grieving while trying to take care of their challenging parents.

Encouraging practical Helps:

1. Allow yourself the grace to grieve. That includes experiencing and expressing your sorrow.

2.It is possible and important to grieve what once was even if they are he lived ones are still alive.

3.Tell them today how much you love them rather than waiting for the person to pass.

4.Day to day care can be done with the child who lives the closest. He or she should be supported by siblings who can offer respite care.

 *HERE'S WHERE WE PICK UP IN THIS EPISODE:

16 practical ways children can help their aging parents:

1.   Grocery shop

2.   Pick up prescriptions

3.   Take their trash can to and from the curb weekly

4.   Pick up their mail 

5.   Invite them out for a meal

6.   Bring a meal to their house and eat it together

7.   Have coffee or tea together

8.   Write a handwritten letter

9.   Bake something for them and either mail it or hand deliver

10.                Send a care package

11.                Call them and tell them you love them

12.                Sign them up on Facebook so they can see your pictures

13.   

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)

• It is a biblical mandate to honor elderly loved ones. Honoring parents is a way to love others as yourself and to love God.
• Prayer and meditationPrayer and meditating on Scripture can provide comfort, wisdom, and protection. Trusting GodPsalm 28 provides language to understand God's heart toward those who are overwhelmed or confused about how to help. Being humbleThe Bible calls people to be caring and humble to those in need, starting with family. Setting boundariesIt's important to set boundaries so that people aren't doing things for others that they can do for themselves. Preparing for medical issuesA durable power of attorney can help someone make financial decisions for an elderly parent if they are unable to. 

From Focus on the Family

For the caregiving children coping with the emotional, practical and financial ways of loving your aging parents can be challenging.

Managing our aging parents has a common thread to all of the management. It is important that we manage with emotional, practical and financial ways of loving them.

As followers of Christ, ours is to intentionally and thankfully steward each day that has been so graciously given to us by our Creator. And as our aging parents grow older, that includes helping them steward the day.

What May Appear To Be An Unfair Illness

What can be difficult to reconcile with our faith is when our loved one might have led a life following their Savior and yet, they are stricken and suffering with illnesses. This can seem unfair. This can feel unjust. But Jesus gets it.  He understands because He faced unfair suffering too:

” But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.”

– Isaiah 53:5 

What We Are Feeling As Our Parents Age Makes It Difficult For Them To Manage Their Life  (Scott’s first reaction: HUH?  DIFFICULT FOR THEM?)

We are experiencing grief. We are grieving the mom or dad that they once knew.

What makes this even harder is the fact that the children are grieving while trying to take care of their challenging parents.

Encouraging practical Helps:

1. Allow yourself the grace to grieve. That includes experiencing and expressing your sorrow.

2.It is possible and important to grieve what once was even if they are he lived ones are still alive.

3.Tell them today how much you love them rather than waiting for the person to pass.

4.Day to day care can be done with the child who lives the closest. He or she should be supported by siblings who can offer respite care.

 *THIS WAS AS FAR AS WE GOT WITH THE FIRST EPISODE.  IN PART 2, WE WILL DISCUSS:

16 practical ways children can help their aging parents:

1.   Grocery shop

2.   Pick up prescriptions

3.   Take their trash can to and from the curb weekly

4.   Pick up their mail 

5.   Invite them out for a meal

6.   Bring a meal to their house and eat it together

7.   Have coffee or tea together

8.   Write a handwritten letter

9.   Bake something for them and either mail it or hand deliver

10.                Send a care package

11.                Call them and tell them you love them

12.                Sign them up on Facebook so they ca

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Scripture: Proverbs 16:3 “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”

1.  SMART =

Specific

Measurable Vision

Action Plan Who, When, Where & How

Revise

Time

2.  Vision

Long Term Goals

Short Term Goals

Goals of the week

Goals of the Day

3.  Goal Setting and Research 

Setting goals are linked with higher motivation, self-esteem, self-confidence, and autonomy (Locke & Latham, 2006), and research has established a strong connection between goal-setting and success (Matthews, 2015). 

A person who is focused and goal-oriented is likely to have a more positive approach towards life and perceive failures as temporary setbacks, rather than personal shortcomings.

Studies have shown that when we train our mind to think about what we want in life and work towards reaching it, the brain automatically rewires itself. 

Types of Goals 

Process Goals

Going to the Y 

Performance Goals

example, studying for no less than 6 hours a day or working out for at least 30 minutes per day can help us in quantifying our efforts and measuring the progress. 

The Outcome Goals Outcome goals are the successful implementations of process and performance goals. 

Examples: winning a sport, losing the desired amount of weight, or scoring a top rank in school.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Luke 2:7: “And she gave birth to her firstborn son,  and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the Inn.”

 Kathy

 My favorite Bible Christmas story person is Joseph, because he trusted the angel and went against what society would have expected him to do under those circumstances. He also had to help Mary deliver her baby in a filthy barn which I’m sure he had never done before. He had a huge amount of responsibility on his shoulders and he handled it well!
 
 My favorite non-Bible character is Imogene Herdman from “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever”. I loved seeing the Christmas story through the eyes of someone who had never heard it before. It helped me realize what a truly amazing story it is!
 
 Mandy
Cindy Lou Who. She sought to include the marginalized even when it wasn’t the popular thing to do, even when her own family didn’t understand, even when it made her own life more difficult. She brought the grinch into the community and showed him he belonged just as much as anyone else. She reminds us that Christmas is about kindness and love and that’s what matters most.

Jason

 I love General Waverly from white Christmas as someone who was a respected leader of men and someone who aged gracefully retaining his charm and charisma.
 
 From the Bible, I like imagining the angels singing and the hope and peace they represent during times of struggle. The lyrics of it came upon a midnight clear hit home for me.
 
 Erin
I’m a huge Mary fan myself. I can’t imagine being told I was carrying the Messiah and the social ramifications that she must have endured for that, not to mention the physical toll of being a nomad while returning for the census and a migrant in a foreign land while trying to stay alive. Her faith was incredibly strong not only to carry Christ but to be his mother until his death.

Dean
I would say Joseph. I couldn’t imagine his feelings, to me the protector of Mary due to pregnancy before marriage. Having the responsibility of raising the Messiah. Despite all of those challenges Joseph continued to bear true faith in God.
 
 1964 Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. (The claymation movie) I love that he symbolizes acceptance, resilience, and individuality. I appreciate that he doesn’t let others negative opinions discourage him. I can relate to Rudolf. It’s tough to be the outsider and I love the story of his acceptance.
 
 David 
In our house we’ve always had an open door policy, but even more so at the holidays. That means if anyone needs a place to stay or something to eat, we’ll offer what we have, even when it isn’t a lot. In years past we’ve spent the holidays feeding Albanian refugees, housing recent divorcees, or young adults whose parents were too far to get to.
 
And it was true this year, when our friends came to us well after our Thanksgiving was planned and said, “hey, these people have nowhere to go. Can they come to you? We didn’t account for them in food planning and we definitely don’t have room to set two more place settings, but the answer is always yes. We’ll figure it out. We always make it work and I know it will turn out fine this time too.
 
For that reason, my favorite character in the Christmas story is the humble innkeeper, who isn’t even formally mentioned in Scripture. The orig

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session:  Journaling, A Helpful Treatment Strategy

Psalm 119:27

Cause me to understand the way of your precepts, that I may meditate on your wonderful deeds.

Journaling Helps

·  It helps me see the ways that God's Spirit in me is producing growth over time.

·  Journaling has become one of the ways that I best connect with God.

·  Journaling helps me to persevere in the journey I'm on with Christ

·  And it also helps me to open up to God. It helps me to be more honest with God and with myself.

Journal and personalize scripture

Related Scripture:

Psalm 86

1 Hear me, Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. 2 Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save your servant who trusts in you. You are my God; 3 have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. 4 Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you.

5 You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. 6 Hear my prayer, Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. 7 When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me.

Things to journal

When you need something to write in your journal, consider finishing one of the following 20 prompts:

1.   This week I was most blessed by . . .

2.   My favorite passage of Scripture is . . .

3.   The area where I need to put more trust in God is . . .

4.   One lesson I learned from Scripture this week is . .

What to Write

·  All that's needed is your honest, authentic, vulnerable self willing to show up to the page and encounter the Holy Spirit.

·  “Write what you see.”Write your life, your legacy, your prayers, your God-sightings, and everything in between in the pages of that journal.

Two Way Journaling

It is a way to write to God and record what you feel the Holy Spirit is saying to you in your quiet time. This journal is best for those who would like to begin the daily habit of spending meditative time with God and His word.

What would God say to you personally? 

An Eeyore thought from Scott:  All I see you saying is God, God, God.  What if my life just sucks, and I don’t see any evidence of God anywhere?  What’s the point of journaling for me?  WHY would I want to write all my junk down to be reminded of it over and over again?

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session:  Helping Teens Navigate Through The Tumultuous Teen Years And Dating…or, how to help your teen heal a broken heart…

Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is one who keeps the Law. Proverbs 29:18 (NASB)

In 1991 86% of high school students were dating

In 2017 the number of high school students dating dropped to 51%.

The average age of getting married for women is 28 years old. For men, it is 30 years old.

Parents

We demand changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior.

The child’s heart remains the issue. Let’s not forget the children want power.

When children cross boundaries they are trying to get their emotional needs of affirmation, identity, gratification, love, or commitment met. If they are not met in the family they will be met outside of the family.

Dr. Juli Slattery points out in Rethinking Sexuality,isn’t our sexuality so much more than rules—

God’s covenant love with His people isn’t He is after our sexual maturity and its lifelongintegration and reflection in our faith, rather than just virginity until marriage?

When our children’s values are more important to the parents than it is to their children, it won’t likely be successful.

It becomes more important to parents when there are strict rules and heavy authority.

Child ownership is created when parents spend their time building influence and a relational bridge with them.

Child, ownership happens when belief, and value is facilitated when parents focus on the vision of what they want to see your teens be rather than trying to prevent the things you don’t want that could come across as shame and guilt

Tom’s View

The answer to adolescent safe dating and adolescent issues are in developing a culture and environment that facilitates strong character.

• Be a good role model. Parents should model what they want to see happen with their children. Share what it means for you to have a relationship with Jesus and how important it is to you as a parent coping in every day life
• Apply biblical teachings to real life. An example would be when people are saying mean and hurtful things, they look at what does the Scriptures say about that?
• Catch them doing right and celebrate their success. The celebration of success can facilitate eight important emotional needs being met acceptance, attention, approval, affirmation, affection, encouragement, respect, security
• Get in their world. Help them focus on what they find to be interesting and meaningful and facilitate it happening more.

Important tips to be successful

• The family atmosphere and culture should be started as early as possible in the children’s lives. That could be pre-kindergarten.
• With the onset of pornography addiction being as young as eight years old it is recommended that no screens until a child is 14 and can show responsibility (a person‘s ability to respond)
• Put children in healthy and save situations and circumstances that will help them develop healthy character. As an example if basketball is a strong interest. Try to find an Upwards basketball league. They are Christian based leagues

Suggestions for safe and successful dating

• If your child is showing Good responsibility at age 15 group dates where parents drop them off and pick them off can be doable.
• Another suggestion could be inviting the date over for game night or a family fun night
• At 1

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session:  The 3 Fuels of Anger

Ecclesiastes 7:9   Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

1. Fear

Those things that we fear in life also fuel our anger. A good example when I was a school teacher I also had a fear of heights. My children regularly helped me remember that.

How did I react? I got angry.

2. Frustration 

A good example of frustration would be the Cleveland Browns. They seem to be improving and then they make for trades or changes that keep them unsuccessful.

3. Hurt

A good example here would be when someone says something that crosses your boundaries and hurts. You could also be something they forget to do like remember an anniversary or a birthday.

Treatment

• That’s why it’s so vital for us to learn how to recognize the warning signs (and put a stop to it) when those feelings first begin.
• The communication highway helps with anger management
• When a person feels hurt, they should speak in terms of an eye statement. I feel . . . . when . . . . .

The listener hears and reflects, validates and empathizes
 

Prayer
Pray that God helps you with the presence of the fruit of the Spirit

• James 1:19-20   My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Dealing with Anger...God's Way

Transforming Feelings into God's Peace Through Self-Control

Joyce Meyer

We have all experienced anger at some point in our lives, and it can be a real problem. Though it starts as a harmless feeling, it can quickly grow into something dangerous that’s hard to control.

But with God’s help, we can learn how to deal with our feelings and walk in His peace.

I’ll admit, years ago I pretty much did and said anything I felt like. I have a pretty strong personality, so if you said something to upset me, there was a good chance I would let you know about it.

Thank God, over time He changed me through His Word and helped me begin to manage my emotions through the power of His Holy Spirit.

I learned how to operate in self-control, which means I didn’t always say everything I wanted to say. Now, that’s freedom!

Along the way, God also helped me to understand that anger in itself isn’t wrong...

Is It a Sin to Be Angry?

I’ll never forget one particular morning about 25 years ago. I was preparing to go preach at a ladies meeting at my church in St. Louis when my husband Dave and I got into an argument. I admit, I was really mad!

I continued to think angry thoughts and have angry feelings. Then my anger turned into guilt and I thought, How can I possibly go to church and tell others how to conduct their lives according to Scripture if I cannot control my anger?

The feelings of guilt not only continued but they intensified. As the pressure mounted, I started to feel almost frantic when suddenly God spoke to my heart and said:

“Anger is not a sin—it is what you do with it that becomes sin.”  

That day God showed me something that was very life-changing for me. He brought me to Ephesians 4

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session:  The 3 Fuels of Anger

Ecclesiastes 7:9   Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

1. Fear

Those things that we fear in life also fuel our anger. A good example when I was a school teacher I also had a fear of heights. My children regularly helped me remember that.

How did I react? I got angry.

2. Frustration 

A good example of frustration would be the Cleveland Browns. They seem to be improving and then they make for trades or changes that keep them unsuccessful.

3. Hurt

A good example here would be when someone says something that crosses your boundaries and hurts. You could also be something they forget to do like remember an anniversary or a birthday.

Treatment

• That’s why it’s so vital for us to learn how to recognize the warning signs (and put a stop to it) when those feelings first begin.
• The communication highway helps with anger management
• When a person feels hurt, they should speak in terms of an eye statement. I feel . . . . when . . . . .

The listener hears and reflects, validates and empathizes
 

Prayer
Pray that God helps you with the presence of the fruit of the Spirit

• James 1:19-20   My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Dealing with Anger...God's Way

Transforming Feelings into God's Peace Through Self-Control

Joyce Meyer

We have all experienced anger at some point in our lives, and it can be a real problem. Though it starts as a harmless feeling, it can quickly grow into something dangerous that’s hard to control.

But with God’s help, we can learn how to deal with our feelings and walk in His peace.

I’ll admit, years ago I pretty much did and said anything I felt like. I have a pretty strong personality, so if you said something to upset me, there was a good chance I would let you know about it.

Thank God, over time He changed me through His Word and helped me begin to manage my emotions through the power of His Holy Spirit.

I learned how to operate in self-control, which means I didn’t always say everything I wanted to say. Now, that’s freedom!

Along the way, God also helped me to understand that anger in itself isn’t wrong...

Is It a Sin to Be Angry?

I’ll never forget one particular morning about 25 years ago. I was preparing to go preach at a ladies meeting at my church in St. Louis when my husband Dave and I got into an argument. I admit, I was really mad!

I continued to think angry thoughts and have angry feelings. Then my anger turned into guilt and I thought, How can I possibly go to church and tell others how to conduct their lives according to Scripture if I cannot control my anger?

The feelings of guilt not only continued but they intensified. As the pressure mounted, I started to feel almost frantic when suddenly God spoke to my heart and said:

“Anger is not a sin—it is what you do with it that becomes sin.”  

That day God showed me something that was very life-changing for me. He brought me to Ephesians 4:26-27 (AM

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session:  The 3 Fuels of Anger

Ecclesiastes 7:9   Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

1. Fear

Those things that we fear in life also fuel our anger. A good example when I was a school teacher I also had a fear of heights. My children regularly helped me remember that.

How did I react? I got angry.

2. Frustration 

A good example of frustration would be the Cleveland Browns. They seem to be improving and then they make for trades or changes that keep them unsuccessful.

3. Hurt

A good example here would be when someone says something that crosses your boundaries and hurts. You could also be something they forget to do like remember an anniversary or a birthday.

Treatment

• That’s why it’s so vital for us to learn how to recognize the warning signs (and put a stop to it) when those feelings first begin.
• The communication highway helps with anger management
• When a person feels hurt, they should speak in terms of an eye statement. I feel . . . . when . . . . .

The listener hears and reflects, validates and empathizes
 

Prayer
Pray that God helps you with the presence of the fruit of the Spirit

• James 1:19-20   My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Dealing with Anger...God's Way

Transforming Feelings into God's Peace Through Self-Control

Joyce Meyer

We have all experienced anger at some point in our lives, and it can be a real problem. Though it starts as a harmless feeling, it can quickly grow into something dangerous that’s hard to control.

But with God’s help, we can learn how to deal with our feelings and walk in His peace.

I’ll admit, years ago I pretty much did and said anything I felt like. I have a pretty strong personality, so if you said something to upset me, there was a good chance I would let you know about it.

Thank God, over time He changed me through His Word and helped me begin to manage my emotions through the power of His Holy Spirit.

I learned how to operate in self-control, which means I didn’t always say everything I wanted to say. Now, that’s freedom!

Along the way, God also helped me to understand that anger in itself isn’t wrong...

Is It a Sin to Be Angry?

I’ll never forget one particular morning about 25 years ago. I was preparing to go preach at a ladies meeting at my church in St. Louis when my husband Dave and I got into an argument. I admit, I was really mad!

I continued to think angry thoughts and have angry feelings. Then my anger turned into guilt and I thought, How can I possibly go to church and tell others how to conduct their lives according to Scripture if I cannot control my anger?

The feelings of guilt not only continued but they intensified. As the pressure mounted, I started to feel almost frantic when suddenly God spoke to my heart and said:

“Anger is not a sin—it is what you do with it that becomes sin.”  

That day God showed me something that was very life-changing for

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Ephesians 2:8  “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God…”

The Impact of Receiving Grace What are the benefits of grace to Christian?

Dr. Gregory Jantz wrote, “But grace is much more than just erasing the past; it is about writing the future. That’s because when we are freed from the thicket of regret, blame, and shame, we can show grace to others in every situation. It’s the ultimate form of “paying it forward.” Only Jesus has already paid our tab..” 

What are the benefits of grace to Christian?

According to Sermon Central, Grace brings 10 great benefits to our lives:

• We are SAVED by GRACE. The only way to Heaven is through the doorway of grace. ...
• We're FORGIVEN by GRACE. ...
• We're SUSTAINED by GRACE. ...
• We're HEALED by GRACE. ...
• We're LIBERATED by GRACE. ...
• We're given TALENTS by GRACE. ...
• We're USED by GRACE. ...
• We're KEPT SAVED by GRACE.

Receiving Grace Can Set Us Free

• His grace sets us free from the bondage of the things that hold us back. When we turn to Him, we can experience that kind release and that kind of freedom in our lives. Because of grace, Jesus died on the cross for us. It was the ultimate sacrifice to set us free.

·        John 8:32  “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

• Grace is said to set people free from sin and its power, as well as from the punishment of sin. Grace is also said to free people from the bondage of guilt.

The Impact of Extending Grace

Marion Star said, “Grace gives us a new life which is not condemned by God. Through God's grace we are forgiven, transforming our thinking, resulting in the renewal of our mind and heart. Through grace we live the kind of life that God would like every one of His children to experience. “

Grace leads to peace

• 2 Peter 1 says, “Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our love Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness” (vs. 2-3)

Rev. J Street wrote, “The definition of grace could be “God's life, power and righteousness given to us by unmerited favor.” It is through grace that God works effective change in our hearts and lives. Grace gives us a new life which is not condemned by God. Through God's grace we are forgiven, transforming our thinking, resulting in the renewal of our mind and heart.”

Ephesians 4:29 NIV

• Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen,” 

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." (Hebrews 11:6)

We Will be More Confident

• The writer of Hebrews 11:1-2 explains faith like this, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.”
• We are more confident in our decisions

We will have a Godly Worldview

• By faith, we understand that the universe was formed at God‘s command so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible
• We will by face put confidence in Psalm 139:13 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb"

We Will Be More at Peace

• II Corinthians 12:9,
• “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.’” So when we are weak in our faith our God is made strong.

We will be confident to Do More Challenging Things

• Paul writes in Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through him who gives me strength.”
• Psalm 46:1 is also an encouragement when we face struggles, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

We will have more faith when God appears silent

Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’”

Joyce Meyer writes, “The tendency to want to know about everything that's going on can be detrimental to your Christian walk. Sometimes knowing everything can be uncomfortable and can even hurt you.” 

How are we better or different physically emotionally and spiritually because of Faith

Mental and emotional impact:

• Faith can provide a sense of comfort, purpose, and support, which can mitigate stress and anxiety, leading to positive physical outcomes.
•  
• No direct physical alteration: There's no scientific evidence that faith itself directly changes the structure or function of the human body on a biological level.
• Individual variations: The impact of faith on physical health can differ greatly based on personal beliefs, practices, and individual circumstances. 

In Counselling the Culturally Diverse Theory and Practice (2016), it says, “it appears that people require faith as well as reason to be healthy and that psychology may profit from allowing the spirit to re-join matters of the mind and body.” It seems that society is seeing the importance of the Spirit as well. His ways are not our ways.”

Events like this happen so that God can grow our faith. It is important that we approach them with patience.

Action Point

It is important that we grow our faith in God’s timing. To do that we also have to grow our trust in Him.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session:  AAD/ADHD SYMPTOMS AND TREATMENT

Romans 5:4-5, “Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Notice that hope comes from character, which comes from perseverance, which comes from suffering. 

Inattentive ADHD, your greatest struggle will come from problems such as high distractibility and feeling zoned out. Due to the challenges you face with focus and attention, you are more likely to avoid tasks requiring sustained mental effort.

Inattentive ADHD makes it difficult for you to complete tasks and stay organized. It can also make you feel impatient or moody. These things can affect your relationships, as well as your performance in school, at work or during activities. 

Symptoms and Causes

What are the symptoms of inattentive ADHD?

The symptoms of inattentive ADHD include having trouble or difficulty with the following behaviors:

• Paying attention to the details and/or making frequent mistakes while doing tasks.
• Staying focused on long-winded tasks (like reading, listening to a presentation, etc.).
• Listening to others.
• Following through on tasks or obligations. You can easily lose focus in the middle of a task.
• Managing time and meeting deadlines.
• Performing tasks that need significant brain power, like filling out forms or writing reports.
• Keeping track of common items needed to complete everyday tasks (pencil, wallet, keys, phone, etc.).
• Staying in the moment without distractions.
• Remembering to complete routine tasks (chores, errands, appointments, etc.).

Although everyone experiences problems paying attention and focusing at times, if you have inattentive ADHD, you’ll experience these symptoms so often that they interfere with your daily functioning at school, at work, with friends and family or in social situations.

What are the causes of inattentive ADHD?

The cause of inattentive ADHD is unclear. Research suggests the following may contribute to ADHD:

• Genetics.
• Anatomical makeup of your brain (how certain areas of your brain form and function).

Is inattentive ADHD hereditary?

Studies show that inattentive ADHD can run in your biological family, so you’re more at risk of developing it if someone related to you has it. 

School Related Symptoms ADHD/ADD

• Relationship struggles
• Inability to write on grade appropriate levels on paper
• Activity out of their seats in class and very obstinate about returning to their seats
• Not paying attention and disturbing their neighbor sitting next to them in class

Normalizing ADHD/ADD

• Almost everyone has one condition or another. Some people are Dyslexic, some wear glasses, some have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Asperger Syndrome, Tourettes Syndrome , some have Sleep Apnea,
• Christians should be patient and have compassion on anyone who has a condition that makes their life more difficult than someone who doesn’t have one. After all, God created them that way for a reason and a purpose - who are Christians or anyone else to say that they are not worthy of kindness and respect? Everyone should view and treat people with these or other conditions as nothing less than people.

Treatm

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session:  Pastor Appreciation Month

1 Thessalonians 5:12–13 (NIV): “Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other.”

Pick a different strategy for the week. Do it every day of the week. Do this for the entire month of October.  (From Scott:  This kinda sounds like Tom's goal setting strategies too)

1 Thessalonians 5:12–13 (NIV): “Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other.” 

Here are some ways to bless pastors during pastor Appreciation Month

• Pray: Pray for your pastor's spiritual vitality, protection from Satan, and the grace and love of God. You can also pray for their family.
• Give a gift card: A gift card to a restaurant or an Amazon or iTunes card can be a great gift for a pastor.
• Post pictures with the pastor: Share pictures of yourself and the pastor at church events on social media.
• Adopt a local church: Send a care package to another church in your area or serve together with another local church.
• Speak encouraging words: Let your pastor know how the Lord has changed you.
• Write a note: Write a note with encouraging feedback about their sermon.
• Set out a gift basket: Set out a gift basket in the church lobby for members to leave notes and gifts.
• Mow the pastor's lawn: Mow the pastor's lawn when their family is on vacation or ministry
• Connect with the church office manager. Find out your pastors likes and needs and organize a plan to meet them
• Encourage time off and 48 hour getaways!
• Develop assistant pastors who can carry some of the load
• Encourage the pastor to
• Plan for more than Sundays.

Resources

• Remember the pastor's role is 24-7; assign a person or persons to be on-call to help in emergencies. Identify people within the church who can counsel or advise others whether that means listening to problems or pointing them to a professional. Also, before your pastor hits the beach, determine the type of events about which he or she would like to be contacted. (Resource UMC) 

• The Gravity Community is an online community of practice for Christians to stay connected and learn together in an environment that's safe for questions and doubts. Join the Gravity Community for connection and support for struggling pastors.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: The Pastoral Grind

Proverbs 4:23: "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life"

Stress, loneliness and political division are the three items that rise to the surface.

56% of pastors say stress of the job is the biggest issue.

(43%) of Pastor, say “I feel lonely and isolated. 

Treatment

Pastors should have a leader outside of his church

• Pastors should have a small group that they attend with their spouse outside of the church they pastor. 

• Pastors should have a support group that they can be supported in. It should be a safe place where they can vent pray and be supported. If there isn’t one that you’re aware of then maybe start one and invite a number of other pastors to a luncheon to talk about..

The following statistics are likely a result of not feeding themselves before the Lord. Without safe people to talk about how they feel it is very difficult.

• Only 26% of the pastors said they had regular devotions.

This is very important. So, in their spiritual bank account, they are running on a negative balance, because they are always withdrawing from that account without depositing in to it.

• 70% of pastors suffer from depression

Without close relationships or a support group it is difficult to share and open up.

• 77% of pastors believe they are not in a good marriage. 50% of pastors end up in divorce

Pastors have to prioritize their marriages.  They have to be assertive with their church to get the time and space to do it  They are a role model to their people.

• 40% of pastors have had an extra marital affair.

Hurting people turn to the pastor who is hurting which is when needs get met outside of marriage.

• 70% of pastors only study the word when doing sermon prep.

They are not exercising their spiritual muscles. 

• 70% of pastors do not have close friends

There has to be a personal life.  (From Scott….should those friends be outside the church the Pastor serves in?)  Tom's answer?  YES! 

• 35% of Pastors struggle with from sexual sin.  This leads to loneliness and divorce.

As Rev. Dr. Glenn Packiam—author of The Resilient Pastor—writes in Barna’s The State of Your Church, “We need sages to advise us, leaders to direct us or hold us accountable, peers to remind us that we aren’t alone, healers to dress our wounds and companions who carry us when we can’t carry on.”

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session:  Screen Time and Our Kids     Based on an article from Fox News Aug. 11, by Melissa Rudy

That’s according to a recent Denmark study led by Dr. Jesper Schmidt-Persson from the University of Southern Denmark. It looked at the effects of reduced screen media exposure on youth mental health.

Eighty-nine families with a total of 181 children and teens were randomly assigned to one of two groups. 

The first group had to surrender their smartphones and tablets for a two-week period, and limit use of other screen media — such as TV and computers — to three hours or less per week, not counting work or school. 

The control group did not have any limitations. 

The average ages of the children ranged from 4 to 17, averaging at 8 to 9 years old.

The families filled out a Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaire (SDQ) at the end of the study period that gauged the children’s psychological symptoms.

The groups that limited kids' screen exposure saw improvements in mental health — particularly in how they managed their emotions and communicated with peers in helpful, considerate ways, plus a decrease in behavioral difficulties.

"Our study provides causal evidence for a link between a family-based reduction in screen media use and improved mental well-being," Schmidt-Persson told Fox News Digital via email.

"Healthy children and adolescents benefit from reduced screen media use if parents also reduce their use," the researcher said. (iStock)

"The size of the effect was surprising to me, because we only included healthy children and adolescents," he went on. 

"Thus, it is important to note that healthy children and adolescents also benefit from reduced screen media use if parents also reduce their use."

Risks of excess screen time for kids

In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General released an advisory related to youth social media use, emphasizing mental health concerns.

"There is evidence that children who have excessive screen time or access to social media at young ages are more likely to be depressed or anxious," Dr. Joshua Stein, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and clinical director at PrairieCare in Minnesota, previously told Fox News Digital.

In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General released an advisory related to social media use among youth, emphasizing mental health concerns. (Matt Cardy/Getty Images)

The expert cited a Gallup research study from 2023, which noted that teens who were on screens more than five hours a day were 60% more likely to express suicidal thoughts or self-harm. 

"Those children were 2.8 times more likely to have a negative body view and 30% more likely to describe ‘a lot of sadness,’" added Stein, who was not involved in the Denmark research.

Access to smartphones and social media increases the risk of cyberbullying, depression, sleep-related concerns, self-harm and body image issues, according to Stein.

"It can also lower self-esteem, and can socially pressure people to act outside their morals and family beliefs," he added.

Teens who were on screens more than five hours a day were 60% more likely to express suicidal thoughts or self-h

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: National Grief Awareness Day (Aug. 30)

II Corinthians 1:3-4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God"

Dr. Gregory Jantz-Whole Person Care

Multiple Causes

Grief can take many forms, from the death of a loved one to divorce, job loss, or chronic illness.

Emotions or feelings of grief can include sadness, denial, despair, shock, guilt, numbness, relief, helplessness, and/or anger. Many grief sufferers also experience anxiety or depression, which can vary in its longevity.

Body’s reaction to grief

When you’re grieving, different hormones and neurochemicals flood your brain. This can result in symptoms like disturbed sleep, loss of appetite, fatigue and anxiety, all of which can have a big impact on your brain function.

Cortisol (sometimes called the “stress hormone”) is often released more frequently and in higher quantities during grief, in particular over the six months after the loss of a loved one. 

The five stages of grief is a model of grief developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist.

The 5 Stages of Grief

Denial

The time it takes to process the loss of a loved one means there is a lag between learning the information about their passing and your brain beginning to process what this really means – that they are not coming back. 

This type of shock can also make you feel very disconnected from the rest of the world. It can be incredibly confusing to see life carrying on around you while you feel as though your world has stopped turning.

Anger

Feelings of anger can surface after a death in several different ways. You may feel angry towards the person who has died, or anger at yourself if you feel you should have done or not done certain things before they died. You could feel both of those feelings simultaneously

Bargaining

By making deals with yourself, the world, or with God, the reality of death can be held at bay for a little longer. It’s also a way to try to get some control over what has happened, hoping that by holding up our end of the bargain is a way to feel less pain.

Depression

This stage is perhaps the most familiar to those who’ve experienced grief and to those who have witnessed it. Living without your loved one can feel impossible, and the sadness and longing can be very intensely painful. The depression stage often comes in waves over months or years, leaving the bereaved feeling as though nothing matters, and even that life is not worth living.

Acceptance

While grief can leave people feeling like they will never be able to accept the loss of their loved one, many people do find the pain eases.

Treatment from Scripture:

• Matthew 5:4: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
• Psalm 73:26: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
• Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Matthew 19:14  "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these'"

Scott’s question:  Does this work for home schoolers as well as traditional students?

Who is Maslow?

Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who developed a theory of psychological health.

· His theory was based on the developmental stages of a child being met to help the child develop into a self actualized state.

Physiological Needs As It Relates To Students

· Hungry

· Thirsty

· Exhausted

· Freezing

· Over heated

· Sick

· In Pain

Safety

· If we feel safe and confident that we are not in pain, discomfort, we avoid pain and hunger. We are able to begin to learn.

· Social Media

Children aged 8–12 spend an average of 5 hours and 33 minutes per day on screen media, while teens spend 8 hours and 39 minutes.

Social

· “Peer Priority”

· We feel safe and secure then we are ready to belong to a group of people. To our children that means their friends are vitally important. Children are now ready for belonging and love.

Self-esteem

· Once you were child feels accepted in a group they are now wanting to have special status. That status includes being admired and respected.

· John 4:16-18 NIV ... “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is ...

· 1 Peter 2:9 – A Chosen People. "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises ...

Self Actualization

· Finally, now our core needs are met, we're ready to pursue our deepest desire for self-actualisation - to become the most complete and authentic version of ourselves.

· Proverbs 19:21: "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails"

Celebration Of Success 

· Goal Setting

Vision

Long Term

Short Term

Goals of the Week

Goals of the Day

LearningStyles

· Kinestec-Physically feel it

· Experiential-hands on / movement

· Auditory-lecture/ music

· Visual-graphs / charts

· Whole to part / part to whole

· Social-collaboration / teams

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

II Corinthians 1:3-4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God"

Dr. Gregory Jantz-Whole Person Care

Multiple Causes

Grief can take many forms, from the death of a loved one to divorce, job loss, or chronic illness.

Emotions or feelings of grief can include sadness, denial, despair, shock, guilt, numbness, relief, helplessness, and/or anger. Many grief sufferers also experience anxiety or depression, which can vary in its longevity.

Body’s reaction to grief

When you’re grieving, different hormones and neurochemicals flood your brain. This can result in symptoms like disturbed sleep, loss of appetite, fatigue and anxiety, all of which can have a big impact on your brain function.

Cortisol (sometimes called the “stress hormone”) is often released more frequently and in higher quantities during grief, in particular over the six months after the loss of a loved one. 

The five stages of grief is a model of grief developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist.

The 5 Stages of Grief

Denial

The time it takes to process the loss of a loved one means there is a lag between learning the information about their passing and your brain beginning to process what this really means – that they are not coming back. 

This type of shock can also make you feel very disconnected from the rest of the world. It can be incredibly confusing to see life carrying on around you while you feel as though your world has stopped turning.

Anger

Feelings of anger can surface after a death in several different ways. You may feel angry towards the person who has died, or anger at yourself if you feel you should have done or not done certain things before they died. You could feel both of those feelings simultaneously

Bargaining

By making deals with yourself, the world, or with God, the reality of death can be held at bay for a little longer. It’s also a way to try to get some control over what has happened, hoping that by holding up our end of the bargain is a way to feel less pain.

Depression

This stage is perhaps the most familiar to those who’ve experienced grief and to those who have witnessed it. Living without your loved one can feel impossible, and the sadness and longing can be very intensely painful. The depression stage often comes in waves over months or years, leaving the bereaved feeling as though nothing matters, and even that life is not worth living.

Acceptance

While grief can leave people feeling like they will never be able to accept the loss of their loved one, many people do find the pain eases.

Treatment from Scripture:

• Matthew 5:4: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
• Psalm 73:26: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
• Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 

• Psalm 34

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Scripture

We should treat others the way we would like to be treated (Luke 6:31).

Definition:  Bullying occurs between two students who have different degrees of power.

Researchers who study bullying cite three common characteristics of what makes an act bullying:

· Bullying is intentional and tries to cause harm or distress to the victim.

· Bullying occurs between two students who have different degrees of power.

· Bullying happens repeatedly over a period of time.

Bullying According to the American Medical Association, states by the time students finish school, nearly half of students have been bullied at one point or another.

Cybersmile.com

· This is a list of resources for victims of bullies, suicide prevention, depression and more

According to the American Medical Association, by the time students finish school, nearly half of students have been bullied at one point or another.

What to do? 

1. If you see something, say something.

Reporting bullying to the proper authorities is one of the most important strategies we can use to prevent further bullying. Twenty-eight percent of students grades 6-12 say that have been bullied at school.

2. Understand who you are in Christ.

Meditate on passages like Psalm 139:13-18, which tells us that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and that God’s thoughts toward you are too numerous to count.

3. Even if you are wronged, respond in a Christ-like manner.

When we are in the midst of a painful situation, it can be very easy to forget who we are in Christ and how he has called us to act. Thus, if you ever find yourself being bullied, there are a couple of principles that you need to keep in mind.

· First, we should never try and get back at a bully or seek revenge.

· Second, it’s okay to stick up for yourself if you are bullied. Christians can often be confused by passages such as Matthew 5:39 and Luke 6:29 which tell us to “turn the other cheek.

· Third, Reach out to those being bullies Lastly, we need to reach out to those being bullied. One of the best ways we can do this is to befriend them and invite them to hang out with us. Not only will this make them feel loved, accepted, and less alone, it also acts as a deterrent to bullying. Bullies are much less likely to pick on someone if they are in a group of friends than if they are alone

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.