A mirror that is never rubbed becomes distorted. Gold that never enters fire remains impure. A pearl exists only because of irritation. And yet — we’ve built a culture allergic to failure. We lower standards. Give trophies for participation. Remove suffering from the developmental process. Somewhere along the way, “trying” became and acceptable replacement for doing.

Failure is not our enemy. Disappointment is not our ending. They are data points. We don’t grow without resistance. Why? Because suffering, correction, and failure are teachers. God wastes nothing. Not our failures. Not our wounds. Not our disappointments. Not even our scars. The rub is refining us.The fire is shaping us.The disappointment is revealing our heart. God doesn’t always rescue us from affliction — sometimes He saves us through it. 

After the resurrection, Jesus appeared to the disciples — with scars. God raised Him from the dead… but He left the scars. Why? Scars are evidence. That we were wounded. That we healed. That we grew. Scars tell the story of redemption. They prove healing happened. They remind us of the price paid. Our scars matter — not because of the wound, but because of the healing.

There is the adage that if a poisonous snake bites us, would we chase the snake or address the wound? The correct answer is to address the wound. We need to remove the source of the wound if it is still present, we need to clean and disinfect the wound site to prevent contamination. Today, too many of us want to chase the snake. 

We may not control what happens to us. But we can choose not to be reduced by it. We are going to be rubbed.We are going to be tested. We are going to be disappointed.That’s not the exception. That’s the process. So don’t waste the rub.
Let it polish us. Let it refine us. Let it redeem us. Because God is not done with our story yet. God is refining our character. Strengthening our faith. Preparing us for something greater. Ask ourselves a better question.“What is God trying to produce in me through this?”

Unity sounds great in theory—but in practice, it’s hard. Really hard to bring people together. Because the default setting of the human heart leans inward. We protect our turf. We defend our position. We have our ego. We prioritize our agenda. We form inner circles. We build our own power base. And if we are not careful, before long, we’re not building something together, we’re protecting something individually.

There are hundreds of potential negative forces and factors that can sabotage unity and it only takes a few to accomplish the disruption. We see it everywhere. In marriages where “me” creeps ahead of “we.” In teams where cliques quietly divide the locker room. In companies where departments compete instead of collaborate. In churches where disagreement replaces compassion. In a nation where extremes pull harder and the middle sags.

And there’s another danger that arises - when we start thinking unity requires sameness. But it doesn’t. Unity is not uniformity. Nor does it require assimilation. It’s harmony. Unity is not about losing who we are. It’s about aligning who we are with something greater.

Think about marriage. Not two people disappearing. But two people become one in purpose. Or think about a football team. Different positions. Different skill sets. Different personalities. But one heartbeat. One Heartbeat is more than just a motto. To have one heartbeat, there must be a higher calling than being just a team.  Higher calling requires respect, compassion, brotherly love.  For a unified company there needs to be a strong corporate culture, a culture based on more than stated values and mission statements. It’s essential that all members of a team or company are moving with a shared vision, focus, purpose and direction. When it works, it’s powerful. No hidden agendas. No divided loyalty. Just a shared mission.

There is a need for diversity in unity.  The human body is the perfect model. Different parts. Different functions. All essential. Unity isn’t weakened by diversity—it’s strengthened by it. Diverse perspectives allow people to learn from each other, to understand each other, be corrected by each other, and form a community to live in peace with each other. Being “additive” does not destroy objects in the current blend, nor does it destroy that which is being combined.  Variety gives richness to our existence. We integrate the best of what each has to offer.

“We the people” are the ones striving for a more perfect union. The well-being of a community, a nation, a society is a result of the choices and actions of mankind working together.

I was reminded of that distinction years ago when I heard Hall of Fame quarterback Jim Kelly speak at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes dinner. During his talk he shared his faith journey and the loss of his son Hunter. It was raw, powerful, and deeply personal speech.

But the line that stuck with me most was when he said: “Don’t ask people just to follow. Ask them to join.” Jim Kelly explained that people often told him to follow Christ, but he already believed. The real shift came when he understood the invitation wasn’t simply to follow from a distance — it was to join Christ more deeply, to enter into relationship, commitment, and mission.

Our problem is that much of modern life encourages us to be spectators. Think about social media. We literally “follow” people — celebrities, influencers, strangers we’ve never met.

But as the great baseball player Jackie Robinson once said: “Life is not a spectator sport. If you're going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion you're wasting your life.”

Following can easily become passive. I’ve seen this “passive following” with the high school football players I coached. A player can walk into the weight room, look at the workout written on the board, check the box, and say, “I followed the plan.” But only going through the motions doesn’t necessarily make one stronger and it certainly doesn’t make one a better teammate. I want the player who shows up and joins the workout mentally and physically. He pushes, focuses, engages with his teammates — and he improves. Same activity. Two completely different mindsets.

Scripture challenges us to move beyond passive following. One example appears in Mark 10:17–22, the story of the Rich Young Ruler. This man had faithfully kept the commandments. In many ways he was a model believer — someone who followed the rules. But when Jesus asked him to sell his possessions and join the mission, the man walked away grieving. 

Another example appears in the writings of the Apostle Paul. In Romans 15:30, St. Paul writes: “Now I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.” Notice the language. Not “watch me.” Not “follow from afar.” “Join me.” Paul understood that real faith is participatory. It’s relational. It’s shared struggle and shared purpose.

Even the disciples eventually moved from followers to something more. The word disciple means learner or follower. But after Jesus’ resurrection they became apostles — which means “one who is sent.” Followers learn. Joiners go forth.

There’s a phrase from my alma mater, Lafayette College: Cur Non. It’s Latin for “Why not?” The phrase comes from Marquis de Lafayette, the French nobleman who defied his king, bought his own ship, and crossed the Atlantic to join the American cause for freedom. He didn’t sit in France following the news and cheering from the sidelines. He joined the fight. Cur Non.

In Luke 5, when Jesus calls Simon Peter, Peter experiences the miraculous catch of fish and suddenly realizes who Jesus truly is. In that moment he stops seeing Jesus merely as a teacher. He calls Him Lord. Peter didn’t stay in the boat as an observer. He joined the mission.

Leadership expert John Maxwell uses a powerful analogy. A travel agent sells the trip. A tour guide goes on the journey with us. A travel agent points the way. A tour guide joins us along the path. Jesus is the ultimate tour guide. And the invitation of the Gospel isn’t just: “Follow from a distance.” It’s: “Come with Me.”

Most of us feel pressure to cover ground; Fix it fast, Get there now, Make decisions quickly, Move on to what’s next. But what if speed isn’t the issue at all?

Years ago, my wife and I followed through on something we’d talked about for over twenty years—taking dance lessons. I instinctively felt the need to move around the dance floor and cover ground. The problem was my wife couldn’t match those steps and follow my lead.  All I kept hearing from the instructor was: “Take smaller steps.” The smaller the steps, the smoother the dance became.

Then I began to realized—this wasn’t just about dancing. That phrase kept showing up everywhere. I saw it the very next weekend doing acre’s worth of springtime edging, weeding, transplanting and mowing.  As I started early and at a feverish pace to get it all done in one weekend, my wife looked at me and said, “take smaller steps”.  She knew that at my desired pace I would be wiped out in six hours and need three days to recover; where with a “smaller steps” attitude I would cover more ground (pun intended). Big steps burn us out before the job is done.

When I was a defensive back coach in football and taught backpedaling, I stress smaller, quicker steps.  It keeps the player’s feet underneath them allowing the player to react quicker to changes in the receiver’s route as well as tackle better. On rainy days, it helps prevent a player from slipping. Smaller Steps – Feet underneath us – adapt to changing conditions. So, it is not about the pace of change or movement, but the size of each piece of change or movement. Think about it, smaller steps give us more balance and control. We are less likely to get out of whack.

When we take big steps, we overcommit, miss details, lose balance, get Blindsided by life’s uncontrollable events, Struggle to recover from mistakes.

The solution isn’t to slow life down completely. A former boss once told me, “Go slow to go fast” – strategic speed as opposed to operational speed. This thought process ties into form over speed. I learned that hiking the Appalachian Trail with my daughter Beth in Maryland. We came upon a hard rock scramble—gray area between hiking and rock climbing. She coached me with three words: “Form over speed.” With a weighted pack, one rushed move could mean a fall and pain. I needed to be taking smaller steps and be more aware of my form – strategic speed not operational speed.

Taking Smaller steps means paying attention to the little things. Little things can make a significant difference. We often have more input and choice over how we handle the small things in life. Throw a tiny pebble into a pond and the entire pond surface will have ripples of waves across it. A horse with a bit can plow a field; a ship with a rudder can sail across an ocean; a person with an empathetic tongue can share kindness, compassion and love.

It is important to appreciate life’s little things- a smile, a hug, a song bird chirping, the sunrise or sunset. It is also important to do the little things- say hello to someone we pass in the office or on campus; hold the door open for a person walking in behind us; a compliment for no reason. 

People like to define moments in faith with big leaps, movements or stepping out of one’s comfort zone. Maybe for some of us it is as simple as staying in the moment right where we are. We typically don’t hear people say, “Hunker down and see what God has in store for us.” However, God has begun a great work in us, right where we were; we just don’t recognize it.

Small steps aren’t weak steps. They are disciplined, intentional, faithful steps. They create roots. Take smaller steps. Build deeper roots. Trust that God handles the distance. Rejoice and Godspeed.

We need to “Choose Company That Nourishes.” The word company comes from the Latin companion “one who eats bread with you.” Not someone who just shares space—but someone who shares life. Most of us don’t intentionally choose bad company. We drift into it. We sit with whoever’s nearby. We walk with whoever’s available. We spend time with people because it’s convenient—not because it’s life-giving. Culture tells us friends are interchangeable. Social media calls everyone a “friend.” But the truth is, not everyone deserves access to our life.

All of us need to build a success circle— this is not networking, not collecting contacts, not adding contacts to our social media platforms - but keeping good company with: Mentors, Advisors, Confidants, Friends who sharpen us.

Don’t keep company with anyone who’s not going where you aspire to go. Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them. Keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.

Some of the most powerful relationships in our lives are what Geoffrey Greif calls “rust friends”—people who’ve known us a long, long time. There’s something about being with people who know where we’ve been—not just where we are today. People who can look at our life and say, “I remember when…” Old friends are guardians of our story.

Back in the early 1970’s when Bruce Springsteen was about to rocket to stardom and national attention with the release of his third album, Born to Run, he asked the E-Street Band to commit to being all-in for all-of-it and with all-of-us. It would be easy to be all-in for being on-stage, for the fame and for the money. He needed them to be all-in for the grind of a road tour, the hours of practice, the set-ups and tear downs. He also needed them to be all-in for each other and not for just themselves.

This is also true in Families. Easy being a dad when your daughter scores 20 points in a basketball game, but you need to be there, all-in, when she slams a door in your face and screams “I hate you” for reasons you can’t figure out. Everyone is all-in on their wedding day, but how about when money is tight or a spouse gets a serious illness or when your Mother-in-law moves in. As well as business. Being successful means doing all-of-it; the mundane and drudgery work required to qualify opportunities, prepare quotations, review excel spreadsheets.

Ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists agree that one of the keys to happiness is strong relationships with other people. We need to be able to confide; to feel that we belong; to be able to get support, and just as important for happiness, to give support. Meaningful friendships bring joy and fulfillment. When we invest in others without any specific motive or the expectation of immediate returns, we experience the satisfaction of making a positive impact on someone else's life.

Let’s make wise decisions around the people with whom we invest our precious resource of time. Keep company with friends and family that support our dreams and nourish us along our journey. Who we are is an outcome of the company we keep.

Why does the world still feel so loud? So divided? So anxious? We’ve got more technology than ever; more wealth than ever; and more comfort than most humans in history. And yet, peace feels scarce.

When we hear “peace on earth,” we usually think big picture. No more wars; no more injustice; no more political division; and no more unrest. It’s the classic answer — “I want world peace.” The hard truth is: we are unlikely to see global peace. Why? Because by nature, we’re at war. Not just with each other, but with ourselves. And instead of addressing it from that point of view, we try shortcuts. We turn to pharmacology to numb it. Or technology to distract ourselves from it. But peace doesn’t come from escaping today’s world or discomfort. If your peace depends on everything going right, that’s not peace - that’s control.

We keep looking for peace where it cannot live. Peace is not the absence of chaos. Peace is the presence of something deeper. Peace can exist in noise and chaos. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.” The sun rises to displace darkness. Yet it doesn’t happen in an instant like throwing a light switch. It rises slowly. And darkness retreats. Infusing our world with peace is a similar process. Too many of us want to be able to just flip the switch.

Jesus knew what was coming - betrayal, suffering, death - and yet still said: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” The Hebrew word He used, shalom, means more than calm. It means wholeness, restoration, and being put back together.

Peace isn’t something you wish for. Robert Fulghum said it best: “Peace is something you make, something you do, something you are, something you give away.” We cannot give what we do not have. We cannot bring peace to the world if we ourselves are not peaceful. We cannot ‘do’ peace unless we are ‘at peace’. Take time to find peace, it is something we all long for, but rarely take the time and effort to obtain and grant. 

Think about landing a plane under emergency circumstances in the Hudson River. Years of preparation for minutes of action. Think about high school football where the next season starts immediately after the previous season with months of effort is invested for two hours on a Friday night. Think about Jesus. Jesus spent his youth studying the scriptures of the Old Testament; then during his ministry he spent hours in prayer and 40 days in the wilderness all in preparation for his calling.

The season between Thanksgiving and Christmas is Advent, the purpose of this season is preparation. It is a period of spiritual preparation for the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ. It is also preparing for Christ’s return. Advent is a season of prayer, fasting, and repentance, followed by anticipation and joy. The word advent comes from the Latin term adventus meaning "coming," particularly the coming of something having great importance. Advent is asking us to create that favorable environment for Jesus to enter and operate in our lives as well as remove distraction so we can hear Him.

We hear about the overnight sensations that come out of nowhere. Reality is, that rarely happens. There are years of work, practice, patience, growth, and persistence that define preparation. An overnight success that takes years to occur is about preparation. Ray Kroc of McDonalds fame said, “I was an overnight success all right, but 30 years is a long, long night.” Starbucks had been in business for decades before it leapt onto the national scene. 

Louis Pasteur, a French microbiologist and chemist who is best known for discovering pasteurization, fermentation, and vaccination said it best, “Chance favors the prepared mind." The better prepared and more knowledgeable we are, the more likely we are to take advantage of any chance opportunities or observations. A mindset of preparedness starts with continuous learning and curiosity. A great example is Alexander Fleming; he saw a bit of mold in one of his bacteria-laden petri dishes. He noticed that all around the mold there were no bacteria. He could have shrugged it off or worse, blamed the mold for contaminating his petri dishes. However, as he stated in his Nobel Speech in 1945: “... that penicillin started as a chance observation. My only merit is that I did not neglect the observation.”

Our position at the very moment action starts can be critical, it matters. The instant it takes to lean forward or get in an athletic position could be the difference between success and failure in a fast-paced environment. A lot of life happens in the blink of an eye. These stances are also called ‘ready positions,’ the starting points for life’s movements and the ability to change direction or adapt. They require discipline and they must be intentional as they just don’t happen naturally. 

As Christian soldiers and competitors, we need to lean forward in our foxholes and be in an athletic position. Be ready to act on God's plan. Leaning forward is being prepared in our heart to share time, talent, and treasure as needed. It a very appropriate command for each of us as we live our daily lives. Lean forward and be prepared to engage apathy, injustice, hopelessness, hostility, envy, or whatever is challenging our spiritual walk. Lean forward and live our lives in readiness. An outcome of this readiness is peace and with peace, comes joy

Preparation is significant. We cannot just wing it and risk performing poorly. Something having great importance is coming.

We can say thanks to those who help us, and we can also pay it forward by helping others. If we have good health, we can use that health to help someone who has failing health. If we are good with children, we can offer to babysit for a frazzled parent or coach a youth sports team. If we are blessed with a little extra time, we can welcome home our returning military at the airport and thank them for their service. If we have a good education, we can tutor a struggling student. If we have life experiences that we learned the hard way, we can share those experiences with others to help them on their paths. 

Are we looking for blessings to come into our life or are we looking to be a blessing in someone else's life? Nelson Mandela noted: “What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.” The concept of ‘Pay it Forward’ embodies the principle - be a blessing. It is responding to a person's kindness by being kind to someone else. Paying it forward and being blessings are forms of doing thanks. We control the choice to be a blessing to those we meet and be someone else's aide, support, encouragement, luck or godsend. CS Lewis said, “Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.” Remember the question is not “who is my neighbor?” but “who can I be neighbor to?”

Doing Thanks and Being a Blessing can be as simple as showing Gratitude. Gratitude is not a feeling or an act; it needs to be a virtue and an attitude. It is a thankfulness for what we “have” as opposed to looking at what we “don’t have?” God gave us what we need to live the life He has in mind for us. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough. It can turn chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. 

Giving thanks is not only good, polite and a thoughtful gesture; giving thanks is necessary. We begin Mass by saying “It is right and just” to give God thanks. The priest continues by saying: “It is our duty and salvation always and everywhere to give you thanks.” Our duty and our salvation! We proclaim this every week, but do we mean it?

Gratitude is a driving force for a life of service. Let me serve God by serving others; let me give what I have received.  If we are thankful for what God has given us and for the blessings in our lives, we leave behind being wantful and become powerful.

Let’s not allow Thanksgiving to be a once-a-year event but rather the beginning or refreshing of a daily ritual to be aware of who God made us to be and His gifts we were given. Thanksgiving is intentional, not accidental. Establish a deliberate set of thoughts and actions to recognize our gifts. He gave us our gifts to be used inside of His unique plan for our lives. Start recognizing the gifts we have been given and the meaning for them. Maybe to us it’s not a glamorous job, but to Him it is everything. This season of Thanksgiving is an appropriate time to reflect on our lives as people of faith, and ask ourselves, “What are the ways in which we can be thankful?” Not only by giving and saying thanks, but in living out what we believe as Christians.

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector found in Chapter 18 of Luke’s gospel, clearly shows the link between doing and being. The Pharisee was all about what he did – tithing, fasting while the Tax Collector knew his being – he was a sinner in need of God’s mercy. There is also the story of Martha and Mary, again found in Luke’s Gospel. Martha is all about doing – all the acts of hospitality. While Mary is simply about being at the feet of Jesus. Jesus notes that Mary chose the better part. While Doing and Being are related, it is the order they come in that is critical. In this instance there was more value in being present with Jesus than a focus on doing.

This struggle between being and doing starts early and is often innocently encouraged. Schools focus on preparing us for our life’s work, our doing, not what we could become. We inspire their dreams which are all great dreams, but they are all related to doing and accomplishments, not being. We ask our children what they want to do when they grow up - be a veterinarian, banker, professional athlete, etc. Although we may phrase it as “what do you want to be” we are asking for the title of what the doing is based on. Those dreams tell us nothing about who our children are, or want to be, inside.

In Paul’s letter to the Galatians (5:22-23) he talks about the fruit of the Spirit - “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” When do we ever embrace or applaud these inner qualities of others? They don’t seem to fit within the world of competitive sports or business.

Being well is an evaluation against our true north or purpose, not necessarily scoring the merits of our actions. Doing good and being well must work hand in hand. In sports, Lance Armstrong and Barry Bonds were driven to do great things, yet their actions were less than ethical. Businesses want to be well through investing in social impact, sustainability, and philanthropy. They would fund a thousand buzzwordy programs rather than fundamentally alter their own behavior. 

What you and I do feeds what we become. The focus moves from doing to being. Here is where our doing feeds our being. Community is not an option we choose to participate in, like a club or group, it is not a DOING. Community is a fundamental aspect of our being. One of the great joys in life is being part of a community.

One of the tragedies of Alzheimer is that it not only strips away what we are capable of doing but ultimately impacts our being. It is not the loss of doing that creates sadness as age and other infirmities can do that too. It is the loss of being that makes this illness despicable.

It will be our being and not our doing that matters most. Being versus doing; distinguishing between them and their order will make all the difference in the lives we live. We also need to go the additional step and take time to know the ‘beings’ around us and not just focus on what they do. Let’s answer His call, let’s leave a legacy and BE a difference in His Kingdom. 

Rejoice and Godspeed.

Extraordinary things are another story. There is no generic definition of extraordinary, noteworthy or ‘big’ does not guarantee something being memorable. But one thing is for certain – to qualify it must strike a chord. Anything that strikes a chord will be remembered longer than usual. If it really strikes a chord, it can remember it forever. It is striking a chord that creates the legacy.

My analogy of leaving a legacy is like the wake behind a boat. The wake that is left behind a boat exists because of the water being moved by the boat, actually the term is displaced. The wake (i.e. legacy) is there as a result of the boat (i.e. event, ourselves) moving or displacing the water around it (i.e. others). Consider the wake left behind an aircraft carrier – a lot of displacement occurs behind the huge ship which creates a huge wake and a significant trail. We all have people in our lives who are like an aircraft carrier and leave a longer lasting legacy.  

It is important to note that success is not the standard for leaving a legacy; significance is. Success is when results exceed expectations, but who sets those expectations (others – coaches, bosses, Wall Street, etc.) and often uncontrollable factors significantly influence results as well as performance. Success is wonderful but significance is even better. As individuals we were created and put here to make a difference, contribute and leave a mark on the people around us, and move His kingdom forward. We are not defined by someone else’s scorecard. 

The ‘coin of mattering’ is the currency that values how we have existed and spent time on earth. Mattering is investing in what we profess to care about, what we love, and what we value. It is the essence of what it means to be human, the true purpose and reason for what we do. It is an investment of time, energy, attention, and passion in relationships; all components of a life well lived. The capacity to dream, wonder, imagine, create, build, transform, better, and love. It is a responsibility to live a life that matters. Not just for the sake of our own self-gratification, but for the enduring obligation of fulfilling the privilege of life and serving those around us.

The greatest asset on the mattering ledger is love; one person caring for another. Thomas Merton said, “Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.” Knowing this and living it are not the same. To matter, it cannot be a mere passing idyllic infatuation or fascination, but must be an enduring, intense passion. A life that matters can demand a lot. Breakthrough after heartache, accomplishment and jubilation over the anguish, a more difficult journey with a truer north. 

We have been given the opportunity to love and serve those around us and to do it with excellence for His glory. We have been given the means and opportunity to matter. It means everything to have loved in our humanity through God’s grace. Our legacy is not how many footprints we leave. It's how long they last. 

This is one of my better character lessons. Goes back to high school. It has stickiness because of Its imagery. It is all about preparation.

When you find yourself in a pressure-packed situation and life squeezes you, what will come out?  Whatever you have put in. If you have prepared properly, you will see positive results. If you have put in faith, character, morals, principles; then when you get squeezed, good decisions will come out. A wrong choice made in the heat of the moment is a result of lack of preparation, lack of conditioning or lack of putting quality toothpaste in the tube.

On January 15, 2009, US Airways Flight 1549 suffered a bird strike immediately after takeoff that annihilated both engines requiring an emergency landing on the Hudson River in New York City. Captain Chelsey “Sully” Sullenberger expertly piloted the plane to a safe landing saving all 155 people on board. He was quoted, “I’ve been making small, regular deposits in this bank of experience, education, and training. And on January 15 the balance was sufficient so that I could make a very large withdrawal.” He had been putting toothpaste in the tube all those years. 

Armies at the time of King David had 3 kinds of warriors - cavalry on horseback; infantry with swords and spears; and what we would today call artillery: archers and ‘slingers.’ Slingers had a leather pouch attached on two sides by a long strand of rope. They would put a rock or lead ball into the pouch, swing it around in increasingly wider and faster circles, and then release one end of the rope, hurling the rock. In the Old Testament (Judges 20:16), slingers are described as accurate within a hair’s breadth. An experienced slinger could kill or seriously injure a target up to two hundred yards away. While protecting the sheep, David as a shepherd boy perfected his skills by practicing day after day. When his moment came against Goliath he had plenty of toothpaste in his tube.

Putting toothpaste in the tube is a form of intentional mental conditioning. Just like running and lifting is intentional physical conditioning, you can condition yourself in this area. The more you practice the better you become. However, the opposite also holds true. If you allow your mind to relax too much and get lazy and not take ownership, then it becomes more commonplace to just go through life letting circumstances control you, whether you recognize this lack of control or not. If we don’t, what fills the void can be the negative influences of today’s world. 

We need to prepare to meet any challenge. Be putting the right toothpaste in the tube. Be able to step up and answer your ‘Goliath call.’ Make enough daily deposits to cover an unexpected withdrawal.

Our moral alignment reflects what we have internalized, what we have decided is our core essence, what are our values and principles, what we have put in our tube.

Let’s answer His call and be a neighbor to those in need, let’s leave a legacy and make a difference in His Kingdom. 

Rejoice and Godspeed.

In the Good Samaritan parable, Jesus never directly answers the question, who is my neighbor. Instead, he turns it around by asking “who was neighbor to the beaten man.” We should not be worried about who is our neighbor, but who we can be neighbor to.

The emphasis that Jesus places is not about knowing one’s neighbor, but about being a neighbor and providing as a neighbor. The question isn’t “Who are they?” but “Who are we?”

Jesus extended the concept of "neighbor" to the outsider, the enemy, and the persecutor. Beyond just physical proximity. A neighbor is anyone who has a need that we can help meet. Anyone with whom we can share God’s love. Not only those who are similar to us or with whom we are comfortable, but all whom God places in our journey. In reality, who isn’t our neighbor? 

The concept that we love our family and then we love our neighbor, and then we love our community, and then we love our fellow citizens, and then after that, prioritize the rest of the world is not the Christian way. Jesus invited us into a different world altogether. A world where love moves freely, without hierarchy or a series of concentric circles. Where borders have been removed. 

We belong to each other with full acceptance as the rule. We need each other. We depend on each other. We affect each other. The early church survived in part because it was a loving community. Christianity was a response to the chaos, fear, and misery of life in the urban Greco-Roman world. The church provided a new kind of social relationship making life more tolerable. To the homeless and impoverished, it offered charity as well as hope; for newcomers and strangers, it offered an immediate basis for attachment; to those affected by epidemics, fire, and earthquakes, it offered comfort and care; for orphans and widows, it provided a sense of family and safety.

 I Am Third represents the basis for every faithful life: “God is first, others are second, and I am third.” Others are our neighbors. The defining elements of our lives is the two-fold commandment of love, God and neighbor. By placing ourselves third, we have things in the right order and are living a life that will bring the greatest good to others, and unexpectedly, to ourselves. The intended connection between God, others, and us is not a zero-sum relationship. It is a dynamic in which God wins, others win, and we win. 

St. Thomas Aquinas first suggested that love is a choice to will the good of the other. Willing the good of the other captures the selflessness that should always be understood when we speak of love. Living love is an action to will the good of our neighbor. To love neighbor as self means seeing the outcome of their good as fundamental to our sharing in the good. 

 My last concept on this subject is enlightened self-interest, a philosophy in ethics which states that people who act to further the interests of others ultimately serve their own self-interest. The Bible constantly encourages us to look with enlightened self-interest. Enlightened self-interest is a bottom-up concept - "We the people” are the ones striving for a more perfect union. The well-being of society is a result of the choices and actions of mankind being a neighbor.  

If we find ourselves asking, "Who is my neighbor?", we already missed the point. We should be inspired to cross the road for our neighbor. We were created by divine compassion and also for divine compassion. We need to live each day with love for each of our neighbors. Love the best we can today, then get up tomorrow and do it again. We’ve been blessed—now we must not begrudge that same blessing to others.

Let’s answer His call and be a neighbor to those in need, let’s leave a legacy and make a difference in His Kingdom. 

Rejoice and Godspeed.

We can be averse to taking action. Some of us fall victim to ‘paralysis by analysis.’ Maybe the fear of being wrong impedes us. Maybe we feel that we would not apply the paint properly. We need to act even if we don’t know everything we should or feel as if we aren’t completely prepared.

I also use the analogy about chocolate milk. Just pouring chocolate syrup into milk does not give you chocolate milk. It needs to be activated, energized, stirred up.

Too many times we hesitate to act or decide, because we want there to be more information, training, or a guaranteed outcome. If we act 80% of the time while spending 20% of our time analyzing options and are only correct half the time, that is a 40% success rate (80% x 50%). Whereas, if we spend 80% of our time analyzing things and only 20% talking action, then are right all the time (which is highly unlikely), that equals a 20% success rate. By being more decisive, we are more successful, at least twice as successful.

We spend a great deal of time learning about theories, be it business success, personal development, even spiritual enhancement. We seem to have a love affair with theory and an aversion to effort. Some of us even become experts on these theories, reciting them chapter and verse. We seem to believe that prolonged or repeated exposure to theory is enough. However, theories do us absolutely no good unless we put them to use out in the real world. Just attending a webinar or reading the latest blog will not make you a better speaker. We must “pull the trigger” “stir the milk” or “paint the house.” We need activation, stirred up, and energized.

God uses us to execute his plan. It is His paint that we apply with our actions. We are His paintbrushes.

In the Gospel of Matthew is the Parable of the Talents (25:14-30). Servants have been entrusted with talents and when the Master returned, he wanted to know what the servants have done with the talents they received. It doesn’t matter if it is one or five talents, it’s what we do with the talents that matters. Not everyone gets the same ‘paint’. God has given each person a unique variety of gifts, and he expects each to use whatever gifts we’ve been given to the best of our ability. We don’t need the Master returning to see the paint is still in the can or the chocolate syrup has yet to be stirred.

Like paint, we were created to be used. As we work, God works. As we paint, God guides our brush. We must “stir the milk” or “pull the trigger.” Let’s get started and apply His paint. Let’s answer His call, leave a legacy and make a difference in His Kingdom. Rejoice and Godspeed.

My speech was about the nursery rhyme Row, Row, Row Your Boat and how it is life’s instructional manual. Apply its insightful messages and we can be successful in life. ‘Your boat’ being a metaphor for ‘your life.’ It is certainly a simple message for the young students, but it has enough ‘meat’ to it that the teachers (who did hear it every year) and the parents also enjoy it. In addition to the 5th grade farewell, I have given this talk to High School and College football teams, businesses, and in many social gatherings with audiences as few as 1 and as many as a 100. I will dig into the Nursery Rhyme, line by line.

One of my first lessons around “trying” was a sales job I had early in my career. We had Monday morning team meetings with a roundtable discussion on our activities and every week one guy kept telling our boss all the appointments and sales he was trying to make.  The boss finally snapped one Monday and said, “I don’t pay you to try, I pay you to sell.”

I use this similar adage with my high school football players; when they tell me they tried to make that tackle they missed, my response was” I play kids who make the tackle as opposed to those who try to make it.”

Why do we fear failure? There really is no failure, one either succeeds or learns. There is the Chinese proverb - fall down seven times, get up eight. The reality of ‘do not’ from Yoda isn’t a negative, just a fact. If you keep trying to sell but don’t; maybe it’s time to take a sales training course or even find another career choice. If you try to tackle but can’t, maybe it is time to stay after practice and relearn technique or become an offensive player that doesn’t have to tackle.

It is not politically correct to allow failure or even discomfort to ever develop. We’ve gotten soft – parents, schools, society. Our Nation uses Government Bailouts (GM, Housing market) and other overreaching actions to ‘lift everyone up’. We give everyone a trophy just to try. I would argue that as we have become softer, more people get bitter than get better. We hesitate to allow suffering; overlooking that suffering is often how one learns to be a success. We are failing in developing mindsets to overcome the problems. Success by failure is not an oxymoron. As parents, my wife and I never wanted our daughters to fail, but we did look forward to their failures. Sometimes what we learn in failure is the best education we can get. When you make a mistake or fail, you're forced to look back and find out exactly where you went wrong and formulate a new plan for your next attempt. Football teams spend on average 3x the amount of time looking at game films of losses as opposed to wins as there are more coaching moments.

History is littered with examples of success from failure. Failure isn’t the opposite of success—it’s part of the process. Every setback is a lesson. Every misstep is a chance to adjust. The ones who go the distance are the ones who don’t let failure define them. So, if you’re struggling, doubting, or feeling like you’ve fallen short, remember this: Failure is not fatal. Keep going. Failure isn’t a verdict; it’s data. Use it. 

Most if not all our church ministries “Stand in the Gap or the Breach” with their mission. They are fulfilling an unmet need. A gap in society related to poverty, homelessness, education, and even fellowship. "Standing in the breach" means taking action to protect or defend those who are vulnerable or in need, often when others are unwilling or unable to do so.

It means protecting those who are unable to protect themselves. It means working towards positive change wherever and whenever positive change is needed. It even means interceding on behalf of others, often through prayer or other acts of faith, service, advocacy, and moral guidance. We all have neighbors in need. Standing in the gap is being Christ like, our actions are to enhance the holiness of life, life given by God. It’s important to stay thirsty for righteousness, but to also to stay hydrated, too. That means when we stand in the gap for our less fortunate neighbors – we should be drinking in all their stories as we pray and advocate for them. Let their stories enrich our lives. Value them as a person and their experiences.

Breaches or gaps can create significant issues. False storefronts are facades that look great on the outside but are only window dressing. They hide the old and ugly storefront. If a fire gets going in the gap between, firemen have a huge problem fighting it because of the hidden nature of it. Even the smallest of gaps when under pressure can be disastrous. A gap created by a frozen O-ring not allowing a true seal caused the Challenger explosion. "Watch or Mind the gap" is a safety warning issued to passengers while crossing the station platform to the train.

Coming together is a way that communities or nations stand in the breach. We see time and time again that when tragedy strikes, people care about one another, they answer the call, do whatever needs to be done. 

Ephesians Chapter 4 is often looked at as a plea for unity in the church. But Christian unity is more than adherence to a common belief. It is shown in serving the community more Christlike by standing in the gap. St. Paul writes in the opening verses, “I, then, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love, striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace: one body and one Spirit.” Paul is preaching to the Ephesians to stand in the gap for each other.

An everyday common area where we can stand in the breach within ourselves is in our words, in our actions. Hall of Fame basketball coach John Wooden saw hypocrisy in the gap between 'Do as I say’ and ‘not as I do.' Hypocrisy is the practice of feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not. A self-hypocrite is a person who pretends to have virtues or qualities or whose actions contradict their stated beliefs or feelings. Hypocrisy can be the gap that exists between our public life and our private life. If there is a gap, we must watch our steps more carefully lest we trip ourselves or, worse, fall into the opening.

In the ancient world of the Bible, cities had walls surrounding them to provide protection from enemies. When the wall was breached, the city was vulnerable to destruction; the only way to secure it was for people to risk their lives by literally standing in the gap in the wall and fighting the enemy. This is the reference behind Ezekiel’s plea, “I sought a

What is the difference? A pilgrimage is a journey that carries with it a greater significance, a level of importance where the result can lead to a personal transformation. A pilgrimage can change our hearts and expand our minds. A journey becomes a pilgrimage through its uniqueness and the presence we bring to it. 

I look at a pilgrimage the way I do a long hike. A hike is a slow trek in nature that provides time for reflection and communion with my being. They are walks of convictions, purpose, and direction.

Salvation history is the story of a pilgrimage.  Abram journeys from civilization to the desert. Moses from the Pharaoh’s palace to a mountaintop. The people of Israel are led through the desert to the Promised Land. All these journeys are God inspired, where He accompanied them. We likewise – for our Salvation - should be on a pilgrimage, living our current, earthly lives in a way that brings us closer to Him.

Our pilgrimage upon this earth began when we were born. Each of the moments we live are the ones that "count" and that prepare us for our destination. The pilgrimage process is about the grace, custom-designed for each of us by the Holy Spirit, imparted by God’s power and in God’s perfect time. This is the greatest reason to listen for and respond to God’s call to transform our journey into a pilgrimage.

A pilgrimage is a journey to a holy place with a holy purpose. As Christians, all of our life journeys need to be pilgrimages – we should all have a holy purpose, to move His Kingdom forward, to a holy place, heaven. 

During these experiences, our focus shifts from self to group. It is more than just people coming together to distract themselves from life by watching a game, volunteering, or attending an event. It is an opportunity to feel joy, social connection, meaning, and peace – and then share it. Research suggests that people who experience these things are likely to be happier and feel less anxious and depressed. 

The very definition of spirituality is the recognition that we’re all intimately connected to each other through love and compassion. Religious rituals and experiences have the power to generate strong feelings of identification with a group. There is a collective joy that is social and familial.

We were commanded to live every day with love for each of our neighbors. Love the best we can today, then get up tomorrow and do it again. True meaning, purpose, and community are to be found in Christ. Through our two commandments - Love God and Love others.