Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas

065 Play Schema Series - Rotation 101

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 07:00:00 +1300

The reason spinning is actually good for your child (Rotation Play Schema)

Is your toddler constantly spinning, twisting taps, rolling wheels, or obsessing over anything that turns? It’s not chaos, it’s the Rotation Play Schema.

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we unpack why children are drawn to spinning and circular movement, what their brains and bodies are learning, and how rotation play supports maths, science, problem-solving, balance, and body awareness.

You’ll also discover how rotation links with trajectory play, why this behaviour is developmentally appropriate, and how to move from frustration to confidence by supporting it safely.

If you’ve ever wondered why your child won’t stop spinning, this episode will change how you see toddler behaviour forever!

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I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

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Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
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064 Play Schema Series - Positioning 101

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 07:00:00 +1300

Positioning Play Schema… Why Toddlers Line Things Up

Have you ever noticed your child lining up toys, stacking blocks just so, or arranging snacks before eating them? That’s the Positioning Play Schema in action.

In this episode, we explore what positioning play really is, why toddlers and young children are drawn to order, patterns, and alignment, and how this type of play supports early maths skills, logical thinking, spatial awareness, focus, and emotional regulation.

You’ll learn:

What the positioning play schema looks like in everyday toddler behaviour
Why lining up, sorting, and stacking is powerful brain-building work
How positioning play supports learning, confidence, and a sense of control
Why this behaviour is not “obsessive”, it’s developmentally essential

If you’re parenting a toddler and wondering why play looks so repetitive or precise, this episode will help you reframe what you’re seeing and support your child’s learning through play.

Perfect for parents of children aged 1–5 who want to better understand play schemas, toddler behaviour, and child development.

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063 Play Schema Series - Transportation 101

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 07:00:00 +1300

Transportation Play Schema Explained... Why Toddlers Carry Everything Everywhere

Have you ever wondered why your toddler insists on carrying toys from room to room, filling backpacks with random objects, or pushing a pram loaded with teddies across the house on repeat?

In this episode, we’re diving into the Transportation Play Schema, one of the most common (and often misunderstood) play schemas in early childhood.

Transportation play is all about moving objects from one place to another. While it can look messy, chaotic, or even frustrating at times, this behaviour is actually deeply purposeful. It’s how young children make sense of journeys, distance, order, and belonging in their world.

You’ll learn:

What the transportation schema is and how it shows up in toddler and preschool play
Why children feel such a strong urge to carry, push, collect, and relocate objects
How transportation play supports brain development, including sequencing, categorisation, and spatial awareness
The emotional side of transportation play, comfort, control, confidence, and independence
How to reframe “messy” behaviour into meaningful learning
Simple ways to support transportation play at home (without fighting it)

We also explore how recognising play schemas can dramatically reduce parental frustration. When you understand the why behind your child’s behaviour, it becomes much easier to lean into their play rather than push against it.

Whether this is your first introduction to play schemas or part of your ongoing journey with The Play Schemas Collective, this episode will help you see your child’s play, and learning, in a whole new way.

If you’re ready to stop battling the mess and start understanding the magic behind it, this episode is for you.

Follow along for more toddler behaviour insights, play schema explanations, and practical parenting support.

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062 Play Schema Series - Age Specific Trajectory Behaviour

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 07:00:00 +1300

Trajectory Play Schema by Age: What Movement Play Looks Like from Birth to 5+

Ever wondered why your baby keeps dropping things, your toddler throws everything in sight, or your preschooler builds elaborate ramps and obstacle courses?

In this episode, we explore age-specific trajectory play behaviours from birth through to five years and beyond, giving you a clear roadmap for how movement play naturally evolves as your child grows.

The Trajectory Play Schema is all about a child’s deep, instinctive urge to explore how objects, and their own bodies, move through space. This isn’t random behaviour or “naughty” play. It’s your child building early foundations for physics, problem-solving, emotional regulation, and confidence through movement.

We’ll walk through four key developmental stages, covering:

What trajectory play typically looks like at each age
Why behaviours like throwing, splashing, climbing, and jumping are so important
How you can confidently support trajectory play at home (without shutting it down)
What’s developmentally normal, so you can reframe frustration into understanding

From babies tracking movement and dropping spoons, to toddlers testing gravity, to preschoolers designing ramps, chain reactions, and movement-based games, this episode helps you see the learning beneath the behaviour.

If you’re parenting a child aged 0–5 years (or beyond), this episode will help you:

Understand your child’s movement urges
Support big body play safely
Reduce power struggles around throwing and climbing
Feel more confident responding to messy, energetic play

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061 Play Schema Series - Transformation 101

Thu, 05 Feb 2026 07:00:00 +1300

Why is my toddler so messy?
If your child loves mixing, squishing, pouring, smearing, and turning everyday materials into something new, you’re likely seeing the Transformation Play Schema in action.

In this episode, we explore the Transformation Play Schema, one of the most powerful and misunderstood play schemas in early childhood. Play schemas are deep, instinctive urges that drive children’s play and support brain development, learning, and emotional regulation.

The Transformation Schema is all about change:
how materials change in texture, colour, shape, size, and consistency.

From mud kitchens and potion-making to paint-covered arms and melting ice, this kind of messy play isn’t misbehaviour, it’s high-value learning.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

What the Transformation Play Schema is
Why messy play is essential for toddler and preschooler development
How children learn cause and effect through transformation play
What transformation looks like in everyday play
Why repetition matters for brain development
How understanding play schemas can reduce power struggles and big emotions

You’ll also hear why transformation play starts early, why it can feel repetitive, and how supporting this schema, instead of fighting it, can make parenting calmer and more connected.

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060 Play Schema Series - Disconnection 101

Thu, 29 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +1300

What is the Disconnection Play Schema? A 101 Overview

Have you ever watched your toddler peel every sticker off a book, pull tissues out one by one, or dismantle a block tower you just built… and wondered why they do it?

In this episode, we’re diving into the Disconnection Play Schema, one of the most misunderstood (and often messy!) forms of toddler play.

Disconnection play is all about a child’s deep, instinctive urge to understand how things come apart. It’s the opening, pulling, removing, unzipping, unscrewing, tearing, and undoing that helps children explore how the world works. And while it can look destructive on the surface, it’s actually powerful learning in action.

In this 101 overview, you’ll learn:

What the Disconnection Play Schema really is
Why toddlers are driven to pull things apart (again and again)
How disconnection play supports problem-solving, fine motor skills, persistence, and early STEM thinking
Why this behaviour is healthy, necessary, and developmentally appropriate
Simple ways to support disconnection play safely at home (without losing your sanity)

If you’re in the thick of toddler life and feeling overwhelmed by the constant dismantling, this episode is for you. Understanding the why behind the behaviour can completely change how it feels, and how you respond.

Because your child isn’t undoing your work to frustrate you.
They’re doing their work, building the foundations for learning, curiosity, and critical thinking.

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059 Play Schema Series - Connection 101

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 09:00:00 +1300

What is the connection play schema… and why does your child seem driven to tie, tape, build, and join everything together?

In this episode, we’re starting with a foundational question: what exactly is the connection schema, and why does it matter so much in early childhood development?

Schemas are deep, instinctive urges that drive children’s play. They aren’t random behaviors—they’re the brain’s way of building foundations for lifelong learning. And the connection schema is all about how things join together… and sometimes how they come apart.

From tying objects together and building endless towers, to taping toys into long lines or wanting to sit close and hold hands, connection play is your child’s natural way of exploring structure, stability, and the forces that hold things in place.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

What the connection schema really is (and what it isn’t)
Why connection play is normal, healthy, and developmentally necessary
How children use connecting and disconnecting to explore physics, engineering, and problem-solving
The powerful link between connection play and fine motor development
How this schema supports early STEM thinking, confidence, and persistence
Real-life examples of what connection play looks like at home (yes, including all the tape and string!)

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by repetitive play, messy setups, or emotional meltdowns when creations fall apart, this episode offers reassurance and clarity. Repetition isn’t a problem, it’s how the brain wires itself. And when you understand schema-driven behavior, it becomes so much easier to support your child with empathy and intention.

If your child is constantly connecting, tying, taping, building, or taking things apart, they’re learning exactly what they need to learn, and your support makes a remarkable difference.

Let’s dive deeper into the connection schema together.

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058 Tired of “New Year, New Me”? Try a Family Preset Instead

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +1300

Join the free 2026 Family Preset: https://playschemas.com/preset

Feeling tired already, and the year’s only just begun?
If “new year, new me” feels more exhausting than motivating, this episode offers a different way forward.

In this episode, Ruth introduces the 2026 Family Preset, a free, gentle, 5-day guided experience designed especially for parents of young children. No pressure. No hustle. Just clarity, connection, and small shifts that make family life feel lighter.

Instead of fixing everything, this is about deciding what really matters, and setting your family up for a calmer, more connected year.

What You’ll Learn

Why clarity (not discipline) is often what’s missing when parenting feels hard
How small, intentional shifts can change the tone of your whole family
Why rest, connection, and repair matter more than perfection
How understanding your child’s play can reduce frustration and conflict
What it really means to “preset” your family for the year ahead

The 5 Days of the Family Preset

Day 1: Starting with you, rest that actually restores
Day 2: Parenting as a team (or with your support system)
Day 3: Understanding your child through their play and schemas
Day 4: Building connection into everyday routines
Day 5: Protecting connection on the hard days through repair

Includes short daily videos, one small task a day, two weeks to complete it, and the chance to win over $500 in prizes.

Resources

Join the free 2026 Family Preset: https://playschemas.com/preset
Instagram DM option: https://instagram.com/playschemas

If this episode supported you, please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and leave a review, it helps more parents find calm and clarity through play 💛

#DemystifyingChildsPlay #FamilyPreset #GentleParenting #PlayIsLearning #ConnectionOverConflict #ParentingSupport

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057 How Play Can Transform Your Parenting in 2026

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +1300

Join the 2026 Family Preset waitlist! Preset week is 12th-16th January 2026.

The new year can feel full of pressure, new routines, new goals, and the quiet expectation that everything should suddenly feel more “together.” But if you’re parenting a toddler or preschooler and your day still involves toast on the floor and snack requests five minutes after breakfast, you’re not doing it wrong.

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re welcoming 2026 with a gentler, more grounded perspective on parenting, one that replaces overwhelm with understanding and helps you reconnect with what really matters: your child’s play.

You’ll be introduced (or reintroduced) to play schemas, the repetitive patterns of play that are hardwired into how young children learn and develop. We’ll explore why behaviours like throwing, lining up, spinning, enclosing, and pulling things apart aren’t “phases to fix,” but meaningful learning in action. When you understand what’s driving your child’s play, parenting starts to feel more intentional, less frustrating, and surprisingly more joyful.

Through real-life examples and relatable moments from family life, this episode breaks down how play schemas support cognitive development, emotional regulation, physical coordination, and confidence, all without worksheets or structured activities. You’ll also hear practical ways to spot schemas in your own child’s play, how to support them using simple, everyday materials, and why protecting time for child-led play is one of the most powerful investments you can make this year.

We’ll also touch on something parents don’t hear often enough: play isn’t just good for children, it’s good for us too. Joining your child in play, even briefly, builds connection, supports emotional wellbeing, and reminds us that joy and learning don’t need to be separate.

If you’re stepping into the new year wanting less pressure, more confidence, and a deeper connection with your child, this episode is for you.

Subscribe to the podcast, share this episode with another parent who needs this reminder, and come continue the conversation with me over on Instagram @play_schemas. For free resources and further support, visit playschemas.com.

Because you don’t need to add more this year, you just need to understand what’s already there. And today is a great day to play.

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056 From Baubles to Tantrums: How Play Schemas Can Transform Your Christmas Day with Toddlers

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

If you'd love a ready-to-go cheat sheet with all the schema explanations and ideas from today’s episode, you can download the free Christmas Play Schema Guide at playschemas.com/free.

Ever wondered why your child suddenly throws baubles across the room, moves everyone’s presents to the opposite corner, or mixes their entire Christmas lunch into one giant “experiment”?

In this episode, we take the stress, confusion, and guilt out of those big festive behaviours, and replace them with clarity, confidence, and a whole lot more calm.

Christmas is magical, but it’s also a time when emotions run high, routines shift, and little people are surrounded by stimulating new sights, sounds, and expectations. For many parents, this means asking (more than once!), “Why are you doing that?” From throwing wrapping paper into the air, to hiding objects, spinning ornaments, lining up cookies, or disappearing under the tree to see the lights from below, it can feel chaotic and sometimes embarrassing, especially in front of relatives.

But I'm here to reassure you that your child isn’t just being naughty... they’re learning.

Their Christmas behaviour is usually a direct expression of one of the 10 common play schemas: the repeated patterns of behaviour children use to understand how the world works. And once you know what to look for, everything starts to make sense.

In this special Christmas episode, I break down how each schema might show up on Christmas Day, from the trajectory schema making baubles fly, to the transporting schema moving gifts across the room, to the enveloping, connecting, disconnecting and transforming schemas that turn ordinary moments into adorable (and sometimes messy!) explorations of curiosity.

You’ll discover:

Why your child’s festive “chaos” is actually developmental gold
How to explain their behaviour to relatives without awkwardness or judgement
Simple redirections that meet their needs without shutting down their play
Ways to prevent meltdowns before big Christmas moments even begin
Practical scripts you can use with grandparents, visiting cousins, or even your partner
How to set up Christmas Day so your child feels supported, understood, and connected

You’ll finish this episode with a clear, gentle toolkit to help you navigate Christmas with more ease, and a brand new appreciation for the playful, curious child in front of you.

Let’s make this Christmas season calmer, more connected, and full of moments that truly matter.

Merry Christmas, and remember: today is a great day to play!

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055 Less Stuff, More Play: Creating a Connected Christmas

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

If your living room has ever looked like a toy shop exploded on Christmas morning, you’re not alone. The wrapping paper, the noise, the overstimulated kids… and that quiet thought in the back of your mind: “How did we end up here again?”

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, host Ruth Vercoe brings a fresh, reassuring perspective to the festive season, one that’s grounded in child development, play-based learning, and realistic expectations for busy parents. Less stuff. More play. More connection.

“Less Stuff, More Play: Creating a Connected Christmas” explores what really supports young children during the holidays, and why understanding their play schemas can turn Christmas from overstimulating chaos into joyful, meaningful moments.

You’ll hear relatable stories, gentle insights, and down-to-earth guidance that helps you cut through the noise (and the unsolicited gift suggestions!) so you can focus on what matters most: your child, their curiosity, and the simple joy of playing together.

• Why “more” can quickly become too much
Discover the science behind overstimulation, why young children often ignore new toys at Christmas, and how aligning gifts with your child’s play schema can bring calm back into the holiday season.

• How simple play invitations can transform Christmas morning
Get practical, budget-friendly ideas based on the 10 play schemas — from wrapping-and-unwrapping (enveloping) to moving baskets of baubles (transporting) to watching the tree lights from underneath (orientation). No fancy setups. No Pinterest pressure. Just real play that meets your child where they are.

• The magic of slowing down and building connection
Find out why quiet in-between moments matter more than perfectly curated traditions — and how following your child’s natural play urges leads to deeper bonding, calmer days, and a Christmas they’ll actually remember.

As parents, we often carry the invisible weight of “making Christmas magical.” But the truth is: your child doesn’t need more things, they need more play, and more of you.

All key takeaways, scripts, and schema-based ideas mentioned in the episode are available in the show notes at playschemas.com/blog — plus you can download Ruth’s free Christmas Play Schema Guide at playschemas.com/free.

You’ve got this — and remember: today is a great day to play.

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054 The Secret Language of Play: How to Read What Your Child Is Telling You

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Have you ever watched your toddler throw toys, empty your handbag for the tenth time, or spin in circles until they fall over, and wondered, why on earth are they doing that? This episode will help you finally make sense of it, and trust your child’s play in a whole new way.

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re diving into one of the most powerful, and often misunderstood, parts of early childhood development: play schemas. These are the repeated patterns of behaviour that toddlers come back to again and again… throwing, wrapping, stacking, filling, dumping, climbing, hiding, spinning.

And while these moments can feel messy, chaotic, or even a bit annoying (especially when you’re tired, heading into the Christmas season, or just trying to make dinner), they’re actually signs that your child is learning exactly what they need to learn right now.

You’ll hear why your child keeps:
• tossing toys across the room
• wrapping dolls in blanket after blanket
• transferring objects from one bag to another
• building towers just to knock them down
• spinning until they’re giggling on the floor

Each of these actions links to a different schema, a way the brain organises information and builds important pathways for maths, science, problem solving, gross motor skills and confidence. When we understand this, everything changes. We stop seeing “naughty”, “messy”, or “chaotic”, and start seeing curiosity, exploration and connection.

If you’re a parent who feels guilty about not playing enough… or if you’ve ever wondered whether your toddler’s behaviour is “normal”… this episode will give you reassurance, clarity and a simple new lens that makes family life feel so much easier.

Think of this as a gentle invitation to become a play detective. Once you start noticing schemas, you’ll never unsee them, and you’ll feel so much more connected to what your child is trying to learn and communicate.

Whether you’re listening on a walk, folding washing, or hiding in the pantry for two minutes of quiet, this episode will help you see your child’s play with fresh eyes. Parenting is hard, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong, especially when you understand what’s going on beneath the surface.

If this episode helps you see your child’s play differently, I’d love you to subscribe, leave a quick review, or share it with a friend who needs a little encouragement today.

And remember, today is a great day to play.

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053 Water Play + Play Schemas: 10 Ways Kids Learn Through Splashing, Pouring & Play

Thu, 27 Nov 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Why is your toddler obsessed with pouring, tipping, splashing, and carrying cups of water around the house?

In this episode, Shelly from HapiTap and I dive into the world of water play through the lens of play schemas, so you can finally understand what your child is learning every time they head straight for the tap, bath, or puddle.

If you’ve ever wondered “Is this normal?” or “Why does water play keep them so focused?”, this episode breaks it all down in a way that feels reassuring, practical, and totally doable for busy parents. You’ll learn what water play looks like from 1–5 years, why it holds such power for early learning, and how simple setups at home can support your child’s confidence, curiosity, and brain development.

We’ll explore:
• How the top 10 play schemas are visible in water play
• Why messy play supports problem-solving, early science concepts, and sensory regulation
• Easy, low-prep ways to offer water play (yes, even indoors!)
• Helpful phrases you can use to guide, validate, and extend your child’s play
• How understanding schemas can reduce behaviour battles and boost cooperation

Whether you love water play or quietly dread the mess, this episode will help you see it with fresh eyes and feel confident saying “yes” more often.

If this episode supports you, hit follow, share it with another parent, or send me your child’s favourite water play setup. I love hearing from you!

Want to find out more about the HapiTap? Head to @HapiTap_Offical

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052 A Playful Christmas: Understanding Your Child’s Play for Calm, Joyful Holidays

Thu, 20 Nov 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Is your toddler more interested in the box than the toy this Christmas? You’re not alone, and there’s a reason behind it!

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re kicking off our festive three-part miniseries, A Playful Christmas, exploring how understanding play schemas can bring more calm, confidence, and connection into your holiday season. If you’ve ever wondered why your child throws, spins, hides, or moves things around, this episode explains exactly what’s happening in their brain and why it matters for their learning and development.

Ruth Vercoe shares practical tips for matching toys to your child’s natural play style, simple ideas for using everyday items creatively, and strategies to manage toy overload so your home stays playful, not chaotic. You’ll discover how to choose gifts that truly support your child’s growth, boost their independence, and make play more meaningful for both of you.

Tune in to transform the way you approach Christmas playtime, reduce stress, and celebrate the joy of play.

Don’t forget to subscribe, share with fellow parents, and check out show notes and free guides at playschemas.com/blog and playschemas.com/free.

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051 Nourishing Nutrition for Mums: Preconception to Postpartum with Hannah Eriksen

Thu, 13 Nov 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

How can mums nourish themselves through conception, pregnancy, and beyond? NZ dietitian Hannah Ericksen from oh Goodness Nutrition joins Ruth Vercoe to unpack nutrition for mums , the real, practical kind. From the “first thousand days” to postpartum recovery, discover how small changes can make a lifelong impact for you and your baby.

You’ll learn:

Why the first thousand days are so important for baby’s lifelong health
The 3 food groups every mum needs more of (and how to make it easy)
How to eat well postpartum without the guilt
The truth about “bouncing back” and what your body really needs
Simple ways to show compassion for yourself as a mum

Plus, Hannah shares practical, doable strategies for fuelling your body, like stocking up on frozen veggies, leaning on your support network, and remembering that you deserve the same nourishment you give your whānau.

Learn more & connect:

Read the full blog: playschemas.com/blog
Follow on Instagram: @play_schemas
Find Hannah: ohgoodnessnutrition.co.nz
Subscribe for weekly parenting & play insights!

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050 Create a Connected, Calm, and Joy-Filled Christmas with Your Child

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

What Your Child Really Wants for Christmas (It’s Not What’s Under the Tree)

This week on Demystifying Child’s Play, Ruth Vercoe is joined by Linda from The Thriving Home and The Connection Couple to explore what truly makes Christmas magical... connection. If you’ve ever felt torn between creating a picture-perfect holiday and actually being present with your kids, this episode will help you slow down, simplify, and reconnect.

Linda shares her and her husband Matt’s Connection First Parenting approach, a practical, research-backed framework built around four key pillars: connection, repair, responsibility, and developmental awareness. Together, they unpack how these ideas can transform the way families experience the festive season.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why connection is at the heart of all positive parenting, especially at Christmas.
How to plan for connection (not perfection) with simple, stress-free ideas.
The neuroscience behind why your child remembers moments, not gifts.
How the Thriving Advent Calendar turns December into 24 days of meaningful family connection.
Simple ways to slow down and make space for presence over pressure.

Whether you’re baking cookies, decorating the tree, or wrapping presents, this episode reminds you that your child’s most cherished memories come from how it felt to be with you.

Listen in, breathe out, and rediscover the joy of a slower, more connected Christmas.

🔗 Show notes & links:
Find all the resources mentioned at playschemas.com/blog

If this episode resonates, please subscribe, share, or leave a review, it helps more parents find calm and connection this Christmas.

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049 Connect Before You Correct: Parenting Neurodiverse Kids with Compassion

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Ever wondered how to truly connect with your neurodiverse child, especially when life feels like one long guessing game? In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, host Ruth Vercoe welcomes Sarah from We Are Equal — a mum of four, early childhood teacher, and passionate advocate for neurodiversity, to share the five powerful lessons she wishes she’d known going into parenting her autistic son.

From navigating “safe foods” and understanding sensory overload to handling social pressures, stimming, and affection in ways that honour your child’s needs, Sarah’s real-life stories offer empathy, relief, and practical wisdom. You’ll learn why connection before correction can transform those challenging moments into opportunities for growth, for both you and your child.

Whether you’re parenting a neurodiverse or neurotypical child, this episode is a gentle reminder that it’s okay to slow down, give yourself grace, and focus on what truly matters: connection, understanding, and love.

Tune in, learn alongside us, and share this episode with a friend who could use some reassurance that they’re doing an amazing job.

Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode that helps you parent with confidence and heart!

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048 Dinovember, Dinosaurs & Play Schemas: Turning Toddler Chaos into Connection

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 07:00:00 +1300

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Discover the Magic of Dino-vember, and the Hidden Learning in Your Child’s Play!

What if your child’s love of dinosaurs could actually help you understand why they play the way they do?

In this fun and insightful episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, Ruth Vercoe dives into Dino-vember, that magical month where toy dinosaurs mysteriously come alive overnight, and reveals how it’s so much more than a playful tradition. It’s a unique opportunity to connect with your child, understand their behaviour, and nurture their development through play schemas.

If you’ve ever found yourself stepping over toy dinosaurs, cleaning up endless messes, or wondering why your toddler seems obsessed with throwing, lining up, or transporting everything they can get their hands on, this episode is for you.

Ruth explains what play schemas are, the natural, repeated patterns of behaviour children use to explore and make sense of the world — and how noticing them can completely transform how you see your child’s play.

During this episode, you’ll discover:

What play schemas are and how they show up in your child’s everyday play.
How to use Dinovember to observe and support your child’s unique play urges, while having loads of fun!
Simple, creative ideas for setting up schema-aligned dinosaur play, no fancy setups required.
Practical parenting tips to reframe challenging behaviour and build stronger connections through play.

Ruth walks you through the 10 common play schemas, like trajectory, transportation, rotation, positioning, enclosure, transformation, connection, disconnection, and more, and gives real-life examples of how you might see them during Dino-vember. From dinosaurs zip-lining across the lounge to delivering little treasures between rooms, each setup becomes a playful window into your child’s mind.

She also shares stories from her teaching and parenting experiences, including how understanding play schemas helped one mum go from feeling overwhelmed by her child’s constant throwing to feeling confident and connected. Once she realised it was the trajectory schema in action, she set up safe, intentional ways for her child to explore movement, turning chaos into calm.

Through the laughter, imagination, and joy of Dino-vember, Ruth reminds us that play is not “just play”, it’s powerful learning in action. Every time your child builds, hides, lines up, or transforms something, their brain is growing. And every time you notice and join in, your relationship grows too.

Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, or educator, this episode will leave you feeling inspired, informed, and ready to see your child’s play in a new light. You’ll walk away with practical ideas to try at home, a deeper understanding of your child’s development, and a few smiles along the way.

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047 Why Knowing Your “Normal” Could Save Your Life

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

What if prioritising your own health could be the most important thing you ever do for your children?

In this powerful and deeply honest conversation on Demystifying Child’s Play, Ruth Vercoe talks with Tamara Milne, a radiographer and mum who was just 33 and weeks away from welcoming her second baby when she received a life-changing diagnosis: breast cancer.

Tamara shares how knowing her normal and performing regular self-checks quite literally saved her life, and how every parent can do the same. This episode might be a little off-topic from play, but it’s a vital one for every mum, dad, and caregiver to hear.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why no one is immune from breast cancer, regardless of age, gender, or lifestyle.
The signs and symptoms of breast cancer you need to know (it’s not just lumps).
How to model healthy body awareness and wellbeing for your children.
Why looking after yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential.
How regular breast self-checks can become part of your everyday routine.

Key takeaway:
“If I’m not looking after myself and my wellbeing suffers, I quite literally might not be here for my children.” – Tamara Milne

Tamara’s story is a powerful reminder that as parents, we can’t pour from an empty cup. Looking after your health is looking after your family.

Read the full show notes and transcript: https://playschemas.com/blog

Learn more about Tamara’s movement: https://checkyourbits.co.nz

Follow Check Your Bits on Instagram: https://instagram.com/checkyourbits

Follow The Play Schemas Collective on Instagram: https://instagram.com/play_schemas

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046 How Play Builds Language: The Secret Link Every Parent Should Know

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Did you know your toddler’s everyday play is secretly building the foundations for language and communication?

If you’ve ever worried about whether your child is talking “enough,” or wondered how you can best support their speech and confidence, this episode will give you the reassurance and practical strategies you’ve been searching for.

As parents, we often look for ways to help our children learn—but the truth is, the most powerful tool is already happening right in your lounge, at the park, or even in the Tupperware drawer: play.

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I talk with Paige from Talk First Words and we explore the fascinating connection between play and language development, and why the games and activities your child chooses aren’t random at all. They’re essential building blocks for how your child will talk, think, and connect with others.

You’ll discover:

Why play is the foundation of language and how it shapes your child’s brain for communication.
How everyday games like peekaboo, hiding under blankets, or pretending to feed Teddy link directly to early speech and vocabulary growth.
The different stages of play; from simple social games to imaginative storytelling, and how each stage supports communication in a unique way.
The role of play schemas (like enveloping, trajectory, and positioning) in giving your child the words and concepts they need to describe their world.

Play is so much more than entertainment. It’s your child’s first language. By understanding the link between play and speech, you’ll feel empowered to support your child without pressure or overwhelm.

When you join in your child’s play, even for a few minutes a day, you’re not just building their vocabulary. You’re building connection, confidence, and the emotional security that helps them thrive.

And perhaps most importantly, you’ll gain reassurance: if your child isn’t yet talking as much as you expect, the play they’re doing now is laying all the groundwork they need for future communication.

Because every giggle, every game of peekaboo, and every block tower isn’t “just play”—it’s your child’s brain and language growing in action.

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045 Everyday Moments Matter: Turning Daily Routines Into Language-Rich Opportunities

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

How does play shape your child’s speech and language?

If you’ve ever wondered whether those endless games of peek-a-boo, block towers, or toy tea parties actually do anything for your child’s speech development, you’re not alone. In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play | Play Schemas, we’re unpacking the fascinating connection between play and speech, and how understanding this link can help you feel more confident in supporting your child’s growth with Paige O'Dwyer from Talk First Words

As parents, it’s easy to get caught up in worries: “Should my toddler be talking more by now?” “Am I doing enough to support their speech?” or “Does play really matter when it comes to language?” This episode brings reassurance and clarity by showing you how the everyday play your child already loves is laying the groundwork for communication, expression, and confidence.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why play is the foundation of speech: Discover how the simple act of playing opens the door to language learning.
The role of play schemas: Find out how different patterns of play, like throwing, spinning, or hiding, give your child the chance to practise sounds, gestures, and storytelling in their own way.
How play supports confidence and expression: Learn how imaginative play, role play, and even the messier moments of play help your child experiment with communication.
Practical tips you can try today: Easy, everyday ways to nurture both play and speech without adding more to your already busy schedule.

Why this matters for you

Your child’s play is more than just fun, it’s their way of making sense of the world and building the tools they need for speech and language. By tuning into their play, you’ll not only feel more connected, but also gain insight into the small steps that support big milestones.

No need for flashcards or rigid drills. Instead, you’ll leave this episode with a fresh perspective: the games, giggles, and even the chaos are helping your child learn to talk.

For more resources on play schemas and child development, visit www.playschemas.com or connect on Instagram @play_schemas.

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044 From Mess to Meaning: Baking and Child Development with Play Schemas

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Ever felt like baking with your toddler is more mess than magic? You’re not alone. But what if I told you that the flour on the floor and the endless stirring are actually signs of learning in action?

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I share the 10 main play schemas and how they show up while baking gingerbread with your little one. From pouring flour (trajectory) to lining up cookie cutters (positioning) to covering cookies in sprinkles (enveloping), every “chaotic” moment is full of developmental gold.

When you learn to spot these schemas, you’ll stress less, connect more, and maybe even enjoy baking together again.

Today I talk through:

What play schemas are and why they matter for child development.
How baking reveals schemas like trajectory, transportation, rotation, and more.
Simple ways to support your child’s learning without constant correction.
How baking fosters independence, communication, and emotional connection.

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043 Baking with Kids Made Easy: Create Memories, Not Stress

Thu, 18 Sep 2025 08:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Ever thought about baking with your toddler but stopped yourself because of the mess, the chaos, or the fear it’ll all go wrong? You’re not alone. Many parents love the idea of baking with their kids but find the reality overwhelming.

Flour on the floor, sticky fingers everywhere, and a kitchen that looks like a tornado hit... sound familiar?

Baking with children isn’t just about producing perfect cupcakes. It’s about connection, learning, and making memories that last far longer than the cookies.

In this week’s episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I sit down with fellow Kiwi mum and baking expert Heather Kalisch, founder of Bake With Me NZ, to talk about how baking with kids can be fun, meaningful, and actually manageable.

Heather shares her top five tips for baking with children. It's all practical advice that helps you swap the stress for smiles. Together, we explore how to make the kitchen a place of learning, laughter, and family connection, without worrying about Pinterest-perfect results.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

Why preparation matters – and how a little setup makes baking with toddlers easier and calmer.
How to turn food safety into fun – think superhero handwashing and aprons instead of nagging.
The magic of progress over perfection – why the lopsided cupcake is more valuable than the picture-perfect one.
Cleaning up as part of the process – how to make tidying a team activity (and actually enjoyable).
The power of memories – how slowing down in the kitchen creates connection your child will treasure for years.

Along the way, we also talk about how baking builds real-life skills like maths, literacy, problem-solving, and science. Every time your child stirs, measures, or pours, they’re learning through play. And the best part? They’re doing it alongside you.

If you’ve ever wondered:

“How do I bake with my toddler without losing my mind?”
“Is it even safe to let my kids help in the kitchen?”
“What if the mess just makes it harder?”

…this episode is for you. Heather and I want to reassure you that baking with children doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be intentional. With a few simple shifts, it can become one of the most rewarding ways to connect with your child.

You can find Heather on Instagram @BakeWithMe.co.nz and online at www.BakeWithMe.co.nz

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042 Five things I wish I knew about Birth and Postpartum with Jade from Your Mama Journey

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Feeling overwhelmed after birth? You’re not alone.

In this week’s episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I’m joined by Jade from Your Mama Journey. A mum, an accredited mental health social worker, and the creator of beautiful guided journals designed to help women reflect on their birth and postpartum journeys.

Like many of us, Jade expected her birth to go one way… and then it went another. An emergency C-section changed everything, and while she held her healthy daughter in her arms, she was also left with a swirl of emotions she didn’t know what to do with. Sound familiar?

So often, we prepare for birth with hospital bag lists and antenatal classes, but no one really prepares us for how the early days of motherhood feel. That’s why this conversation is so powerful. Jade opens up about the five things she wishes she knew after birth, lessons that can help you feel less alone, more supported, and more confident as you navigate your own journey.

We talk about:

Why motherhood can feel lonely, even when you’re never alone
How emotional recovery matters just as much as physical healing
Why you don’t have to feel grateful all the time (and why that’s okay)
The truth that birth rarely goes to plan, and that doesn’t mean you’ve failed
How journaling your birth story can be a powerful tool for healing

Whether your child is 6 weeks or 6 years old, these insights will resonate. Because, becoming a mum changes us forever, and making sense of that journey takes time.

This episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and give yourself permission to honour your story. There’s no right way to process it, and there’s no time limit. As Jade reminds us, even mums of ten-year-olds find healing when they finally put words to their birth experience.

If you’ve ever felt:

“I should feel grateful, but I’m struggling…”
“I thought my birth plan would protect me from this…”
“No one told me it would feel this lonely…”

…then this conversation will remind you that you are not failing. You’re not alone. And you deserve support, reflection, and connection as much as your baby deserves care.

And if this episode encourages you, please subscribe, share it with a friend who needs to hear it, or leave a review — it helps other parents find the support they need, too.

Remember: today is a great day to play.

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041 Do Twins Really Need to Share Everything? 5 Insights for Twin Parents

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Parenting twins is a beautiful gift but, it can also feel overwhelming. From double nappies to double tantrums, everything feels doubled. And when it comes to sharing, many parents wonder: Should twins always share? What if they’re constantly fighting over the same toy? How do I teach fairness without endless meltdowns?

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I’m joined by Smadar, a New Zealand–based twin specialist and founder of Twinful Life. With more than 15 years of experience supporting families around the world, Smadar knows exactly what parents of twins need to hear: sharing isn’t always caring, and it’s okay for twins to have their own things.

Together, we unpack some of the most common challenges twin parents face and offer practical, play-based strategies to bring more peace, confidence, and joy into daily life.

What We Cover in This Episode

The truth about sharing: Why children under 3–4 aren’t developmentally ready to share in the way we expect.
Why forced sharing backfires: How telling kids to hand things over doesn’t build kindness, it builds compliance.
The power of ownership: Why giving twins their own belongings helps reduce conflict and build independence.
The guilt and entitlement trap: How constant sharing pressures can lead to tricky behaviours and big emotions.
Fair vs. equal: Why twins don’t need two of everything, and how normalising differences sets them up for real-life success.

Even if you don’t have twins, these lessons apply to all young children. Siblings close in age, playdates with friends, even cousins at family gatherings, the same principles hold true.

When you understand what your child is really learning through play and conflict, you can respond with more empathy and less frustration. You’ll discover that:

Play is learning. Every conflict is a chance to practise problem-solving, patience, and connection.
Small shifts matter. Just a few tweaks in how you approach sharing can completely change the tone in your home.
Connection is key. It’s not about getting it “perfect”; it’s about creating an environment where your children feel seen, safe, and supported.

To connect with Smadar,

Click here to follow her on Instagram or here to head to her website

And remember, today is a great day to play!

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040 5 Messy Play Tips Every Parent Needs with Sam from Messy Mates

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Messy play can feel like chaos… but what if it’s actually one of the best things you can do for your child’s learning, confidence, and connection?

In this episode, I sit down with Sam, founder of Messy Mates, to talk about the hidden magic of messy play and how parents can make it easier (and less stressful!) to bring into everyday life.

What we cover:

Why messy play is a developmental goldmine
How it boosts creativity and confidence
The surprising role messy play has in parent–child connection
Simple ways to contain the mess (so you can actually enjoy it!)
Why messy play is for all ages... babies to grownups

About today’s guest:
Sam is the creative force behind Messy Mates NZ, a play-based business in Christchurch offering families a safe, joyful space to explore messy play, without the clean-up stress! You’ll often find her covered in rice, slime, or paint, championing play as a tool for learning and family connection.

Find Sam here:

Instagram: @messymatesnz
Website: www.messymates.co.nz
Facebook: Messy Mates NZ

Resources mentioned:

Play Schemas: www.playschemas.com/free
Blog + full links: www.playschemas.com/blog

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039 New Baby, New Balance: How to Care for Yourself While Caring for Your Baby

Thu, 21 Aug 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Bringing a new baby into the world is magical, but it can also feel overwhelming. Between sleepless nights, adjusting to life as a bigger family, and trying to find time for yourself, it’s easy for mums to feel stretched thin. That’s why this week, I’m joined by Ally from @EntwinedParenting, who shares her 5 top tips for welcoming a newborn into the family, with a big focus on looking after yourself as a mum.

This episode is all about making those early days feel a little lighter and more supported. Whether you’re about to welcome your first baby or adding another sibling to the mix, Ally’s advice is both practical and reassuring. She understands the challenges parents face, and she brings a wealth of experience to help you navigate this tender season with more confidence and calm.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Why your wellbeing as a mum matters just as much as your newborn’s.
Simple ways to care for yourself even in the busiest days.
How to manage the transition when older siblings are adjusting to a new baby.
Practical tips for creating rhythms and routines that support the whole family.
Encouragement to let go of perfection and embrace what works for your unique family.

If you’ve ever wondered, “How do I balance it all when I bring a new baby home?” or worried about how your older children will adjust, this conversation will leave you feeling less alone and more empowered. Ally’s approach is filled with empathy, kindness, and realistic strategies that actually work in the real, messy, beautiful world of parenting.

Because you deserve support too. As mums, we’re often told to focus on the baby, but your wellbeing shapes your child’s wellbeing. This episode reminds you that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential.

Perfect for you if:

You’re expecting a baby and want to feel more prepared.
You’re in the thick of newborn life and need gentle encouragement.
You’re parenting toddlers or preschoolers alongside a newborn and feeling stretched.
You’re craving real, down-to-earth parenting advice you can actually use.

So pop your headphones in while feeding the baby, folding the washing, or sneaking a quick walk, and let this episode give you the boost of support and wisdom you need.

If you enjoy this episode:

Hit subscribe so you never miss new insights on parenting, play, and child development.
Leave a review to let other parents know how this podcast is helping you.
Share this episode with a mum friend who’s welcoming a new baby, she’ll thank you!

For more resources, visit playschemas.com and connect with me on Instagram @play_schema

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038 Welcoming a New Baby? Help Your Toddler Adjust with Less Stress & More Connection

Thu, 14 Aug 2025 11:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

If you’re a parent of a toddler or preschooler and you’ve got a newborn on the way, you already know it’s about to be a season of big feelings, big changes, and a whole lot less sleep. Between preparing the cot, stocking up on nappies, and navigating your own emotions, it’s easy to wonder: How will my little one cope when the baby arrives?

In this practical episode of Demystifying Child’s Play | Play Schemas, I’m sharing exactly how I’m preparing my two children (almost 2 and 4) for the arrival of baby number three – using the power of play schemas to help them feel secure, included, and loved during the transition.

You’ll discover:

What play schemas are – those repetitive, curious, sometimes chaotic behaviours that toddlers just can’t resist (and why they matter).
How understanding your child’s schemas can turn frustration into connection, especially during the upheaval of welcoming a newborn.
My top three things every child needs to know about a new baby (hint: it’s not a biology lesson, it’s simple, memorable, and works wonders).
How schemas like transportation, enveloping, and positioning can be your secret parenting ally during this transition.
The beautiful overlap between play schemas and love languages – and how you can use both to make your child feel truly seen and valued.

From toddlers pushing the pram back and forth (transportation schema), to building endless enclosures for toys (enclosure schema), to wrapping dolls in blankets (enveloping schema), these aren’t just random acts of play. They’re your child’s way of processing change, rehearsing care, and making sense of their evolving world.

By noticing these patterns and offering small, schema-friendly activities, you can help your child:

Feel part of caring for the baby
Understand what’s happening in age-appropriate ways
Avoid feeling left out when your attention is divided
Strengthen your bond instead of clashing in moments of overwhelm

Whether you’re walking, folding laundry, or catching a rare quiet moment, this episode will give you the tools and confidence to turn this potentially rocky transition into a season of deeper family connection.

Because preparing your toddler for a sibling isn’t about perfection, it’s about connection. And with a little play schema insight, you can help your child feel safe, included, and even excited about the changes ahead.

Listen now and discover how to make welcoming a new baby smoother for everyone – one play schema at a time.

If you enjoy this episode, please share it with another parent, subscribe for more practical and uplifting parenting tips, and come connect with me on Instagram @play_schemas for daily insights and behind-the-scenes of our family life.

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037 Sibling Conflict & Play Schemas: A Guide for Parents of Toddlers

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 20:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Is your home filled with cries of “Muuuum, he took my toy!” or “She wrecked it again!”?
If so, you’re definitely not alone and you’re absolutely in the right place.

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play Through Play Schemas, we’re diving deep into a topic every parent of more than one young child knows all too well: sibling conflict. But instead of seeing these daily dust-ups as something to avoid or “fix,” we’re reframing them as one of the most powerful learning tools in your child’s development.

Here’s what most parenting books don’t tell you:
Those toy squabbles, turn-taking tussles, and boundary battles between siblings aren’t signs that you’re failing as a parent... they’re signs of growth in action.

And when you understand the hidden force behind many of these clashes... play schemas... everything starts to make a whole lot more sense.

In this episode, we’ll unpack:

What play schemas are (like trajectory, positioning, transformation)
Why sibling conflict often happens when children’s schemas are clashing
How these repeated play urges are actually healthy and developmentally appropriate
How you can recognise the why behind behaviours, not just the what
Why these everyday moments help build empathy, boundaries, and emotional intelligence

You’ll also walk away with 7 practical tools you can use today:

How to pause and observe without immediately stepping in
What to say when your kids both want the same toy, without taking sides
How to narrate neutrally and coach instead of control
Why naming emotions helps both children feel seen and heard
Modelling “I” statements for calmer communication
Creating a calm-down space that actually works (and isn’t a punishment)
The power of reflecting after conflict for deeper learning

Whether your little ones are 1 or 5, this episode is packed with real-life insight and practical strategies to help you navigate the ups and downs of parenting siblings, through a lens of connection, not correction.

We know you’re busy, probably listening while folding washing or wrangling nap time, so we’ve made this episode warm, supportive, and straight to the point. You’ll finish feeling empowered, not overwhelmed.

You’re not raising “naughty” children. You’re raising learners. Explorers. Humans-in-training. And conflict , especially between siblings, is one of the richest (albeit noisiest!) classrooms they’ll ever have.

So next time you hear “Muuum, he hit me!” take a breath, and remember: it’s not just noise. It’s learning in motion.

Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an insight, share it with a fellow parent, and come connect with me on Instagram @play_schemas for daily toddler tips and schema stories.

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036 You Can Always Make More Memories, But You Can’t Make More Time

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 14:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

If you’re a parent of toddlers or preschoolers, you’ll know that feeling all too well—time seems to slip through your fingers. One moment your baby is crawling, the next they’re racing across the playground with fearless determination. The days feel long, but the years pass quickly, and it can leave us wondering: Am I making the most of this time with my child?

In this heartfelt episode of Demystifying Child’s Play | Play Schemas, I share a very personal reflection as our family prepares to welcome baby number three. Like so many parents, I’ve been wrestling with the pressure to “make the most of every moment” with my two older children before everything shifts again. And maybe you’ve felt this too—that tug between wanting to soak up every cuddle, giggle, and bedtime story, and the reality of daily life with young kids, messy houses, and endless snack requests.

Here’s the truth I keep coming back to: memory-making doesn’t live in the big, staged moments—it happens in the ordinary, everyday ones. The smoothie moustaches, the silly jokes, the bath-time chaos, and even the meltdowns that end in cuddles. That’s where the magic lies.

But how do we actually embrace those small moments without adding more pressure to already full days? This is where understanding play schemas becomes such a gift.

Play schemas are the repetitive patterns of play you’ll notice in young children—the constant throwing, lining things up, wrapping toys in blankets, or dropping food off the highchair tray. At first glance, they might seem frustrating (and let’s be honest, sometimes they are!). But when you learn what they really mean, they turn from annoying habits into golden opportunities for connection.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

What play schemas are and why they’re so important in your child’s development.
How recognising schemas can help you respond with curiosity instead of frustration.
Why everyday play is the perfect foundation for memory-making.
Real-life examples (yes, including the time my kids threw dinosaurs in the bath!) that show how simple shifts can turn chaos into connection.
Practical ways to join your child’s play—without needing to carve out more hours in your day.

By the end of this episode, you’ll feel reassured that you don’t need elaborate plans, perfect homes, or endless free time to make memories with your children. What they’ll remember most is how you noticed them, delighted in them, and connected with them—even in the middle of ordinary days.

So, if you’ve been feeling the weight of trying to “make every moment count,” take a breath. You don’t have to stretch time—you just have to fill the time you have with presence, play, and connection.

Because today, and every day, is a great day to play.

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035 Throwback Episode: The Magic Behind Repetitive Play | Episode 002

Thu, 24 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

“Why is my toddler always dropping things, spinning, or hiding under the table?”

If you’ve ever found yourself asking this (or wondering if it’s normal)... this episode is for you.

Hi, I’m Ruth from The Play Schemas Collective, and I help parents make sense of their child’s play, so you can stop second-guessing and start enjoying the magic of toddlerhood (meltdowns and all 😉).

In this episode, we’re going back to where it all began: Play Schemas 101.

These repeating actions you’re seeing? They’re not random. They’re part of how your child thinks, explores, and learns. They're called play schemas, and understanding them is a game-changer.

I’ll walk you through the 10 most common play schemas; what they are, what they look like in everyday life, and how you can support them without adding more to your plate.

Here’s a little taster of what we’ll cover:

Trajectory Schema – Think throwing, dropping, pushing. Your child’s learning about gravity, motion, and control.

Transporting Schema – Carrying toys from room to room? That’s spatial learning and organisation in action.

Enveloping Schema – Hiding under blankets or wrapping toys? They’re exploring boundaries and safety.

Rotation Schema – Spinning wheels, twirling in circles… great for motor skills and balance.

Connecting & Disconnecting – Building and breaking apart teaches cause and effect, problem-solving, and fine motor control.

Enclosure & Positioning – Lining up toys, putting things “just so”… they're exploring order, maths concepts, and visual patterns.

Orientation & Transformation – Looking at the world upside down? Mixing sand and water? Yep—that’s creativity, sensory exploration, and big-picture thinking at play.

Plus, I’ll share simple ways you can support these play urges at home, without buying anything new or spending hours setting up fancy activities.

If you’ve ever wondered why your toddler plays the way they do, this episode will help it all click into place.

And remember, this knowledge doesn’t just help your child... it helps you feel calmer, more confident, and less like you're flying blind in the chaos of toddlerhood.

Grab your FREE Play Schemas Cheat Sheet at www.playschemas.com/free and start recognising the patterns in your child’s play today.

I’d love to hear how play is showing up at your place, send me your stories, questions or those “what is happening?!” moments.

📲 DM me on Instagram @play_schemas
📧 Email me at Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
🌐 Explore more at www.playschemas.com

Subscribe to the show for more toddler behavi

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034 Why Is My Toddler Always Throwing Things? Understanding the Trajectory Schema

Thu, 17 Jul 2025 21:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Ever wondered why your toddler throws their food, launches toys off the couch, or can’t stop running back and forth? It’s not just chaos - it’s science in action.

In this episode, I’m giving you exclusive access to one of the most-loved modules from The Play Schemas Collective - all about trajectory play. You’ll learn to spot the everyday signs that your child is exploring this powerful play schema, and most importantly, what it’s telling you about their development.

We’ll unpack:

Why your child keeps throwing, dropping, and launching objects (and it’s not to wind you up!)
How fascination with movement is actually deep learning in disguise
What’s really going on when your child knocks over towers, flings socks, or can’t stop spinning
How to tell the difference between "bad behaviour" and a developmental drive that needs support
Practical ways to channel this energy into safe, satisfying play—without constant battles

Whether you’re folding laundry, pacing the pram, or finally sitting with a cuppa, this episode offers insight that’ll change how you see your child’s play... less mess, more meaning.

Want the free printable handout that goes with this episode? Grab it at playschemas.com/free

Hit subscribe to follow along with more schema-deep dives and share this episode with a friend who’s tired of picking up thrown spaghetti!

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033 Getting Outside as a Family with Guest Adiva

Thu, 10 Jul 2025 15:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Feeling overwhelmed by the idea of getting your kids out the door for a walk or a play at the park? You’re not alone. But what if those muddy puddles, long car rides, and slow wanders were actually building blocks for your child’s development?

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, I am joined by Adiva, founder of @LittleTrailsNZ and mum of four, to talk about the power of outdoor play — and how it supports strong family bonds.

Whether your child loves throwing sticks, lining up shells, or digging in the dirt, they’re engaging in deep, meaningful learning. And the best part? You don’t need fancy gear or perfect weather to make it happen.

✨ In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why the journey (yes, even the car ride!) matters as much as the destination
How following your child’s lead supports confidence and curiosity
Simple ways to prepare for mess, mud, and magic
How to start small and build up to bigger adventures
The underestimated power of snacks and toilets (trust us!)

This one’s for the parents who want to get outside more but aren’t sure where to start — or how to make it work with toddlers in tow. It’s real, relatable, and packed with practical tips.

Listen now and get inspired to create small moments of wonder with your tamariki — no matter the season.
Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a comment letting us know your favourite outdoor activity!

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032 Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor Now & Play Freely With Your Kids | Guest Caren

Thu, 03 Jul 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Is your pelvic floor holding you back from truly enjoying play with your kids?You’re not alone — and this episode is here to help.

Whether it’s needing to cross your legs when you sneeze, quietly avoiding playing chase the backyard... not to even mention the fear of hearing 'Mum's turn' when it comes to the trampoline. Pelvic floor issues are incredibly common for mums after pregnancy and birth. But just because it’s common… doesn’t mean it has to be your new normal.

In this empowering episode of Demystifying Child’s Play | Play Schemas, I sit down with Caren from Empowered Mums Fitness , a mum-safe certified trainer and expert in pelvic floor health, to talk about what no one tells you about your pelvic floor until it’s already affecting your daily life.

And yes — we’re talking wee, farts, tampons, and blueberries. You’ll never forget how to engage your pelvic floor after hearing this!

What We’re Chatting About:
This episode goes beyond the basics of pelvic health and dives into how a strong, responsive pelvic floor can help you get back to doing what you love most — playing, laughing, running, dancing, and living fully with your kids.

We cover:

What actually is the pelvic floor? (And why it matters more than we realised)
How pregnancy and birth affect your body, even if you had a C-section
Why so many mums think leaking is “just the way it is” (spoiler: it doesn’t have to be!)
Easy tips to fit pelvic floor care into your busy life (hello, connection breath!)
The “fart, tampon, wee” trick for full pelvic floor activation (yes, it’s as memorable as it sounds)
That it’s never too late to start, whether your child is 1 or 31

We know parenting little ones means you’re often folding laundry with one hand and wrangling a toddler with the other. That’s why this episode is packed with relatable stories, practical advice, and expert tips, all delivered in a down-to-earth, supportive tone that feels like chatting with a good mate over a cuppa.

You deserve to play, run, dance, and laugh with your children — without fear of leaking, pain, or shame.

Because today is a great day to play — and you shouldn’t have to plan it around the toilet.

Want to connect with Caren?
www.empowermefitness.co.nz

FB: @empowermefc
Insta:

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031 “I Can’t Play With My Kids”: Why It Feels So Hard and What Actually Helps

Thu, 26 Jun 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Ever feel like you should be playing with your child… but you just can’t bring yourself to do it?

Maybe you’re exhausted. Maybe you feel silly or awkward. Maybe you’re not even sure how to play anymore.

If this sounds familiar, you are so not alone. In fact, many loving, involved parents feel exactly the same. And in this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on why play can feel so hard and what can actually help.

Whether you’re a stay-at-home parent, juggling part-time work, or doing it all, you’ll walk away from this episode feeling less guilty, more confident, and much better equipped to enjoy play (even just a little) with your child.

Here’s what we’ll unpack in this episode:

10 very real reasons why play feels hard for parents: from lack of time and low energy, to different play styles, technology distractions, and emotional burnout
How your own childhood experiences (or lack of playful ones) might be influencing the way you show up for your child now
The power of understanding play schemas, those fascinating patterns of repetitive play (like spinning, throwing, lining up, and wrapping things up) that tell you what’s going on in your child’s brain
Simple, guilt-free strategies that help you connect through play... without needing to be silly, imaginative, or high-energy
How play supports emotional intelligence, brain development, confidence, and deep parent-child bonds—even when it doesn’t look “educational”

Listen in and let this episode remind you:

You don’t have to do more or be more to be a good parent. Sometimes, all it takes is understanding why things feel hard—and seeing your child’s play through a new lens.

Want more support and ideas?

Visit www.playschemas.com for free resources, schema-aligned play ideas, and real-life parenting tips

Follow on Instagram: @play_schemas

Subscribe to the newsletter for weekly encouragement and fresh inspiration

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to follow the podcast, share it with a friend, or leave a review—it helps more parents discover the power of play without pressure.

Because when we understand what play really is—we can stop feeling guilty and start feeling connected... and remember... today is a GREAT day to play!

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030 Play, Not Pressure: How Everyday Play Builds Your Child’s Literacy Foundation with Alex Weehuizen

Thu, 19 Jun 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Worried your toddler isn’t “school ready”?

Feel like you should be doing flashcards, worksheets, or alphabet drills — but it just doesn’t sit right?

This episode is your deep breath and warm reassurance. We’re busting the myth that early literacy needs to look like formal learning and showing you how play, movement, and everyday conversations are actually doing the heavy lifting.

Join host Ruth Vercoe and special guest Alex, from First Five Years — a mum of twins, ECE expert, parenting coach, and holistic sleep consultant — as we unpack what early literacy really looks like for children aged 1 to 5.

Spoiler alert: It’s not about teaching your toddler to read before school. It’s about understanding the powerful role that play, language, movement and connection have in laying the foundation for confident, capable readers later on.

🎙️ In this practical and uplifting episode, we dive into:

Why early literacy is more than just reading & writing and why it develops slowly, layer by layer
How repetitive play (hello, play schemas!) supports deep learning and language development
The overlooked link between crawling, monkey bars, and learning to hold a pencil
Why you don’t need to spend money on fancy resources — your everyday routines are full of literacy gold
What serve and return conversations are, and why they might be the most important thing you do today
How singing silly songs, drawing squiggles, and reading the pictures (not just the words) all build literacy
Simple ways to use art, storytelling, and play to help your child become a confident communicator
The number one tip we both swear by (and no, it’s not more screen time or early readers!)

Here’s what you’ll walk away with:
✔️ Clear guidance on what literacy really looks like in the early years
✔️ Confidence in using everyday moments to support your child’s learning
✔️ Encouragement to slow down and embrace the power of play
✔️ A deeper understanding of how movement, art, and sound lay the groundwork for school success

Your child is learning every day — not because you’re “teaching” them, but because you’re with them.

Ready to reframe literacy and feel more empowered in your parenting? Tune in now and discover how to turn everyday moments into meaningful opportunities for learning and connection.

Connect with Alex

Instagram: @first.five.years and firstfiveyears.co.nz

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029 Why Play Builds Connection With Your Child

Thu, 12 Jun 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Connecting with Your Child Through Play — Why It Matters More Than You Think

Is your toddler constantly throwing toys, lining them up, or wrapping things in blankets and you’re not quite sure why? What if these repetitive behaviours are actually your child’s way of connecting with you?

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we dive deep into a powerful parenting truth: connection doesn’t just happen through doing dishes and conversations — it happens through play.

As parents of young children, we all want to feel close to our kids. We want to support their development, encourage independence, and nurture emotional intelligence, but sometimes, that connection can feel out of reach, especially when your child seems more interested in throwing blocks than talking to you.

That’s where understanding play schemas changes everything.

🎯 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Why play is not a distraction from connection — it is connection.
What play schemas are and how they show up in your child’s everyday behaviour.
How these natural play urges support cognitive, emotional, and social development.
Why recognising your child’s schema can stop you from misreading their behaviour as “naughty” or “out of control”.
Simple, effective ways to join your child’s play — even if you’re not a “playful” parent.
How schema-informed play builds trust, reduces power struggles, and helps your child thrive.

We know life with toddlers can be messy, loud, and full of surprises. It’s easy to feel like you’re just surviving the day, especially when your child insists on playing the same game over and over again. But what if that repetition is actually a window into their world?

It’s not about doing more. It’s about noticing more and meeting your child where they are.

Whether you’re new to the idea of play schemas or have heard the term before but aren’t quite sure how it applies, this episode will give you the tools and confidence to support your child in a deeper, more connected way.

Explore the blog: playschemas.com/blog
Follow along on Instagram: @play_schemas
Join our newsletter for schema insights & freebies: playschemas.com

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If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

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028 Unlock Your Child's Learning Through Play: Join 'The Play Schemas Collective' BETA

Thu, 05 Jun 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Apply to Join the BETA Test Group – Spaces Are Limited!

Applications close 26 June 2025. Only 5 spots available.

For more information and to apply now, head to https://playschemas.com/beta
Or flick me a DM on Instagram: @Play_Schemas

Get FREE access during the BETA round
Enjoy a FREE first month once we officially launch
Book a personalised 1:1 coaching session with a play schema specialist (that’s me!)
Receive early access to schema-aligned video and printable resources
Join our exclusive affiliate programm.

And just for applying — get a FREE schema-aligned printable you can use right away!

Applications close 26 June 2025. Only 5 spots available.

For more information and to apply now, head to https://playschemas.com/beta
Or flick me a DM on Instagram: @Play_Schemas

Send a text

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027 Why I Still Say “Be Careful” Even Though I Love Risky Play

Thu, 29 May 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Do you ever catch yourself saying, “Be careful!” — even when you’re trying to let your child take healthy risks? You’re not alone, and you’re not doing it wrong.

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we unpack one of the biggest tensions many parents face: wanting to support our children confidence and independence, while still keeping them safe.

If you’ve ever felt unsure about how much risk is “too much” when your toddler is climbing high, jumping off furniture, or running full speed down a hill, this episode is for you.

We’re diving into the world of risky play — what it is, why it’s developmentally important, and how it links to the play schemas that drive your child’s behaviour.

You’ll hear honest reflections from a fellow mum (that’s me!) who still says “be careful” sometimes — and why I’m okay with that.

In This Episode, We’ll Explore:

What risky play actually means — and why it’s vital for building resilience, body awareness, and confidence
The difference between dangerous play and developmentally appropriate risk
Why the play schemas behind risky play matter (think trajectory, rotation, orientation…)
How to respond with calm, connection, and trust instead of fear or control
Simple scripts you can use to coach your child through risk, like:
“Do your hands feel steady?” or “What’s your plan?”

Whether your child is 1 or 5, understanding their drive for risky play through the lens of schemas can transform your parenting — helping you say “yes” more often, and feel good about it.

You’ll also learn:

The 10 most common play schemas and how they show up in risky play
Why letting your child test their limits doesn’t make you reckless — it makes you responsive
How saying “be careful” with intention can still build connection and emotional literacy
Ways to support schema-led exploration safely at home, on the playground, and in nature

Because parenting is full of moments where we just want to keep them safe — but when we understand what’s driving their behaviour, we can support growth and confidence without shutting down their curiosity.

So pop this episode on while you’re making a cuppa, folding the washing, or out for a walk with the pram — and let’s make sense of the messy, marvellous world of toddler play together.

Press play and feel more confident supporting your child's exploration — even when it feels a little bit scary.

Listen now and don’t forget to:

Subscribe to the podcast
Leave a comment or review — it means the world
Share this episode with another parent who’s navigating risk & play

For more schema-aligned tips and free printables, visit: https://playschemas.com
Follow us on Instagram: @Play_Schemas

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If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

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026 Why Imperfection Matters in Parenting - with Sophie Moskowitz

Thu, 22 May 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Ever feel like you’re the only one dropping the ball as a parent? Spoiler alert: you’re not, you're not alone in feeling this... and this episode might just be the breath of fresh air you didn’t know you needed.

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play | Play Schemas, we’re joined by Sophie Moskowitz from Imperfect Parents, who brings a powerful message every parent deserves to hear: you don’t have to be perfect to be enough. Together, we unpack the unspoken pressures of parenting in a world that often tells us we should “do it all” – and do it flawlessly.

If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re doing a “good enough” job, wrestled with guilt, or felt isolated in your struggles, this honest, hopeful conversation will remind you that you’re not alone. Sophie shares how her own parenting journey – filled with both heart and hardship – led her to create a community that celebrates the real, raw, and often messy experiences of raising kids.

In this episode, we cover:

The myth of the “perfect parent” and why it’s time to let it go
How unrealistic societal expectations are making parenting harder – especially for mums
The emotional toll of comparison culture (and what to do instead)
Practical mindset shifts to move from guilt to connection
The magic of play – and how understanding your child’s play schemas can help you reconnect, even on tough days
Why naming your struggles is the first step to finding freedom in them

You’ll come away with:

Reassurance that you’re not failing – you’re simply human
Tools to reframe your parenting expectations in a way that actually feels good
Real-life stories that make you nod, laugh, and maybe cry a little
Encouragement to embrace the imperfect, ordinary moments that truly matter
A reminder that being “good enough” is not settling – it’s powerful

Sophie’s down-to-earth, no-judgement approach will speak straight to your heart – whether you’re parenting a toddler through tantrums, juggling multiple roles, or simply wondering if everyone else is doing it better than you.

This episode is a love letter to you, the parent showing up every day and doing your best – even when it doesn’t feel like enough.

Tune in now and give yourself the same compassion you so easily offer your kids.

Don’t forget to subscribe, share, or leave a review if this episode resonates – it helps us reach more amazing parents just like you.

More for you:
Read the blog for more parenting insights: playschemas.com/026
Join the email list for weekly play-based parenting tips: playschemas.com
Connect with us on Instagram:

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If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

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025 Parenting Hacks: Master ‘When’ & ‘Then’ Magic!

Thu, 15 May 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

The Two Words That Will Transform Your Parenting — “When” and “Then”

Are you tired of endless toddler negotiations, meltdowns during transitions, or repeating yourself a hundred times a day? You’re not alone — and there is a gentle, effective way forward. In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, Ruth Vercoe introduces two simple, yet powerful words that can make all the difference: “when” and “then.”

Whether you're trying to get your child out the door, clean up after play, or move from one activity to the next — these words offer a calm, respectful way to guide your child through their day without constant power struggles.

What’s this episode all about?
This isn’t just another parenting hack — it’s a mindset shift grounded in how young children actually understand the world. When used consistently, “when” and “then” give toddlers and preschoolers a sense of structure, predictability, and emotional safety.

You’ll hear real-life examples from Ruth’s own parenting journey, as well as practical phrases you can start using today. And here’s where it gets even more powerful: this episode also explores how “when-then” language aligns beautifully with your child’s play schemas — those fascinating, repetitive behaviours that form the foundation of how they learn and grow.

You’ll walk away with:

A clear understanding of what “when-then” language is and how to use it
Real examples for everyday scenarios — from snack time to messy play
Insight into how play schemas shape your child’s behaviour
Tips to identify and support your child’s dominant play schema
Confidence to redirect behaviour gently without saying “no” all the time
A calmer, more cooperative home where play and parenting flow together

Why it works

“When” and “then” create cause and effect that young children can understand. Instead of vague instructions like “soon” or “later” (which mean nothing to a toddler), you’re offering a safe and predictable roadmap for what’s happening next.

And when you match this simple structure with your child’s natural learning patterns — like the trajectory schema (throwing), transportation schema (carrying), or rotation schema (spinning) — you’re not just managing behaviour. You’re nurturing your child’s development in a deeply respectful way.

Ruth explains how to spot these patterns and work with them instead of against them. You’ll be amazed how a tiny shift in language can create massive changes in your everyday routines.

This episode is perfect for you if:

You’ve got children aged 1–5 years
You’re curious about play-based learning and positive parenting
You want to feel more confident and less frustrated
You’re after realistic, gentle parenting tools that actually work

Send a text

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If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!

024 Part 2 - Self Care through the Schemas with Hannah Sadlier

Thu, 08 May 2025 10:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Part 2 of 2

In this episode, we’re flipping the script on self-care. Instead of waiting for naptime or feeling guilty for needing a break, we’re inviting you to see the magic already happening in your everyday parenting life — through play schemas.

Parenting young children can be exhausting, joyful, overwhelming, and deeply meaningful — often all in the same hour. Between messy floors, toddler meltdowns, and managing your own mental load, it’s no wonder so many parents feel like they’re running on empty. But here’s the good news: you don’t need to overhaul your routine or carve out hours of alone time to nurture yourself. You just need to notice what’s already happening.

In this warm and relatable conversation, host Ruth Vercoe is joined by guest Hannah (a fellow mum and lover of play and self care). Join us as we explore how play schemas — those quirky, repeated play behaviours like throwing toys, hiding under blankets, or lining up blocks — can be used as a practical, joyful framework to support both your child’s development and your emotional wellbeing.

Together, we share real-life examples, lightbulb moments, and surprisingly simple ideas that can transform the way you see playtime — not just as a way for your child to learn, but as a tool for you to reset, recharge and reconnect.

You’ll hear:

What play schemas actually are — and why your child keeps doing that one thing over and over again
How common schemas like trajectory, transportation, enveloping, and connection support your child’s early learning
How to pair each play schema with gentle, achievable self-care moments for yourself (yes, even when you're touched out and running on coffee!)
Why “playing alongside” your child is a powerful act of connection, and how it models emotional regulation and resilience
Encouragement to let go of guilt and embrace the beautifully imperfect rhythm of parenting

Whether you’re stomping on crunchy leaves, spinning in circles in the kitchen, or wrapping up toys in a blanket fort — these everyday moments can be a form of self-care.

This episode is perfect for you if:

You’re parenting toddlers or preschoolers and want to understand their behaviour more deeply
You’re craving ways to care for yourself without needing hours alone or a spa day
You want to feel more present, connected, and emotionally balanced as a parent
You’re curious about how child development and parent wellbeing can go hand in hand

Ruth and Hannah speak with the understanding of mums who’ve been there — no judgement, just gentle guidance and grounded tips that actually work in the chaos of real life.

✨ Loved this episode?
Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a dose of play-based insight.
💬 Leave a comment or share with a friend who needs a parenting pep-talk today.
📲 Fo

Send a text

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!

024 Part 1 - Self Care through the Schemas with Hannah Sadlier

Thu, 08 May 2025 10:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Part 1 of 2

You’ll hear:

What play schemas actually are — and why your child keeps doing that one thing over and over again
How common schemas like trajectory, transportation, enveloping, and connection support your child’s early learning
How to pair each play schema with gentle, achievable self-care moments for yourself (yes, even when you're touched out and running on coffee!)
Why “playing alongside” your child is a powerful act of connection, and how it models emotional regulation and resilience
Encouragement to let go of guilt and embrace the beautifully imperfect rhythm of parenting

Whether you’re stomping on crunchy leaves, spinning in circles in the kitchen, or wrapping up toys in a blanket fort — these everyday moments can be a form of self-care.

This episode is perfect for you if:

You’re parenting toddlers or preschoolers and want to understand their behaviour more deeply
You’re craving ways to care for yourself without needing hours alone or a spa day
You want to feel more present, connected, and emotionally balanced as a parent
You’re curious about how child development and parent wellbeing can go hand in hand

Ruth and Hannah speak with the understanding of mums who’ve been there — no judgement, just gentle guidance and grounded tips that actually work in the chaos of real life.

✨ Loved this episode?
Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a dose of play-based insight.
💬 Leave a comment or share with a friend who needs a parenting pep-talk today.
📲 Fo

Send a text

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

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023 Why Your Toddler Isn’t Listening — And What to Do About It with Heather Schalk

Thu, 01 May 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Ever feel like your toddler is just ignoring you on purpose?
You’ve asked nicely (three times), tried raising your voice, or even taken a toy away — and still, they won’t listen. Before you start second-guessing yourself or wondering if it’s just your child, take a deep breath. You are not alone — and there’s a powerful reason behind this common toddler behaviour.

In this episode, Ruth sits down with parenting and behaviour specialist Heather Schalk to uncover why toddlers really don’t listen — and it’s not what you might think.

Connect with Heather
https://heatherschalkparentingblog.com/
@HeatherSchalkParenting

This conversation dives into what’s going on beneath the surface of toddler behaviour. We explore how so-called “defiance” is often a sign of underdeveloped emotional, communication, or social skills — not a problem with your parenting.

Together, Ruth and Heather unpack:

Why toddlers ignore instructions (spoiler: it's not always intentional!)
The Toddler Reactivity Loop — what it is, how to spot it, and how to break the cycle
The role of play schemas in behaviour — and how to work with them, not against them
How to tell if your toddler is actually regulated and ready to listen
Why “connect before correct” leads to calmer, more confident parenting

Practical Tips You Can Use Right Away

This isn’t just theory — it’s full of real-world strategies for real-life parents. You’ll learn how to:

Tune in to your child’s cues before giving instructions
Use transition items and visual cues to support smoother routines
Respond to big emotions with empathy — while still holding boundaries
Teach self-advocacy phrases like “My turn next” or “I’m not done yet”
Praise natural moments of waiting or cooperation to build emotional resilience
Reframe common challenges (like spilling milk or toy-throwing) into learning moments

You’ll hear relatable examples from Heather’s own life with twins and Ruth’s practical insights into how play schemas shape your child’s behaviour — even when it seems challenging.

You’re Doing Better Than You Think!

Parenting toddlers is exhausting. It’s full of curveballs, chaos, and so many questions. But with just a little shift in perspective, you can turn everyday frustrations into meaningful opportunities for growth — for both you and your child.

This episode will leave you feeling supported, seen, and more confident in your role as your child’s first teacher. Whether you’re folding laundry, walking the pram, or hiding in the pantry for five minutes’ peace, this one’s for you.

Want More Support? For more on play schemas, child development, and daily ideas to support your little one’s learning journey, head to our Freebies p

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022 Growing Curiosity: How Gardening Supports Play Schemas & Child Development

Thu, 24 Apr 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

What if your toddler’s obsession with mud, watering cans, or hauling carrots isn’t just play—but a window into how they learn best?

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we take you into the garden—yes, dirt and all—to uncover how vegetable gardening can reveal powerful insights about your child’s development. Whether your little one is digging, transporting soil, or burying seeds, these actions aren’t random. They’re part of play schemas—the natural, repetitive behaviours that show us how young children are making sense of the world.

As a parent, it can feel tricky to know what’s “just play” and what’s meaningful learning.

This episode helps you connect the dots. We break down what’s happening beneath the surface when your child is knee-deep in garden soil, and how to support their growth without needing fancy toys, Pinterest-perfect setups, or rigid routines.

In this episode you'll discover:

What Play Schemas are—and why they matter so much in the early years
How simple garden activities like watering, digging, and harvesting relate to specific schemas like trajectory, transporting, enveloping, and positioning
Why repetition is not a sign of boredom, but a signal your child is deep in learning
How to identify and nurture your child’s unique play preferences
Easy ways to support schema play in everyday garden moments (even with limited space!)

You’ll also get practical tips like:

How to set up a toddler-friendly garden area (without needing a full backyard)
What to say (or not say) to encourage schema-rich exploration
How to gently support your child’s independence without hovering
Ideas for turning daily gardening into purposeful, brain-building fun

Whether you're a parent with a veggie patch, a few potted herbs, or no garden at all—this episode will shift how you see your child's play. It's about meeting them where they are and celebrating the little moments that are soaked in learning (and sometimes water too!).

You’re not just raising a child—you’re raising a curious learner.
Let this episode inspire you to view everyday messes, garden tasks, and muddy hands as essential parts of their developmental journey. You don’t need to do more—just see more. And that starts with understanding the magic of play schemas.

Listen now and dig into the hidden learning happening in your garden.
Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode full of insight, encouragement, and schema-savvy parenting support.

🌱 Want even more Play Schema ideas and inspiration?
Head over to our Freebies page for practical tools, cheat sheets, and fresh ideas to support your child’s play journey:
playschemas.com/free

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021 Easter Play Ideas for Toddlers that Support Play Schemas

Thu, 17 Apr 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Free download available!
Grab your free Easter Play Ideas PDF with all 10 schema-based activities, family-friendly versions, and our go-to oaty pancake recipe at playschemas.com/free

Feeling overwhelmed by all the Easter hype—and wondering how to make it meaningful for your toddler?

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re diving into how you can use this Easter season to truly support your child’s development—without extra stress or sugar overload.

We’ll show you how to harness the power of play schemas—the natural, repetitive play behaviours all children engage in—to create fun, intentional Easter activities that meet your child right where they are developmentally. Whether they’re throwing, stacking, wrapping, or endlessly transporting things from one place to another, this episode will help you understand why they play this way—and how to build on it.

This isn’t about picture-perfect Pinterest crafts. It’s about easy, real-life ideas that work with your child’s current play urges, not against them. And the best part? You likely already have what you need at home.

In this episode, we’ll cover:

What play schemas actually are, and why they matter for child development
Why Easter is the perfect time to support schema play (think baskets, eggs, nature walks)
10 simple, engaging Easter activity ideas—each linked to a specific schema
How to include your toddler in Easter traditions that build emotional connection
Bonus toddler-friendly recipes that support sensory exploration and independence

We’ve made sure every idea includes:

An independent play version to support solo exploration
A family version to foster bonding and shared joy
No fancy materials or hours of prep—just meaningful, low-fuss fun

Whether you're a first-time parent or juggling multiple little ones, this episode is for you if:

You want to understand your child’s behaviour instead of just managing it
You’re looking for early learning tips that don’t require a teaching degree
You’d love to make Easter special without going overboard
You’re craving ways to connect more deeply with your child through play

You’re not just making Easter crafts—you’re building confidence, independence, and lifelong learning habits.

Free download available!
Grab your free Easter Play Ideas PDF with all 10 schema-based activities, family-friendly versions, and our go-to oaty pancake recipe at playschemas.com/free

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020 Keeping Kids Safe: Practical Tips for Parents with Victoria Barendsen

Thu, 10 Apr 2025 07:00:00 +1200

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Looking for the discount code? use playschemas10 at the checkout! ww.thesafekidsproject.com

As parents, we want to protect our children. But when it comes to body safety, it can feel overwhelming—where do we start?

How do we talk about it in a way that’s age-appropriate and empowering? And how do we navigate such an important conversation without fear or discomfort?

You’re not alone in these concerns. In today’s world, we hear so much about unsafe physical touch, making it even harder to know how to teach our children what safe and trusted touch looks like. But ignoring the topic isn’t the answer—our kids need us to guide them in understanding their own boundaries, their rights, and how to respect others.

This is where the ‘Foundations of Body Safety’ course comes and why I have teamed up with Victoria Barendsen, a registered psychologist specialising in childhood trauma and sexual abuse, to offer you a 10% discount (playschemas10 at ww.thesafekidsproject.com). In this 6-week course will:

✅ Give you the confidence to introduce body safety concepts in a natural, everyday way
✅ Teach you how to discuss sensitive topics—like consent and private parts—without feeling awkward or unsure
✅ Help you build open communication so your child feels safe coming to you with questions or concerns
✅ Empower your child with the knowledge and tools they need to maintain healthy boundaries

I have taken this course myself, and to say it has been eye-opening is an understatement. Within just a few lessons, I told my husband that this is something every parent should have in their toolkit—just like an infant and child first aid course.

Join the waitlist today to secure your spot!

As a special bonus, I’ve partnered with Victoria to offer you 10% off, so make sure you use the code playschemas10 at the checkout. ww.thesafekidsproject.com

Let’s empower our children—because every child deserves to feel safe, respected, and confident in their own body. ❤️

Please note that the discount code is also an affiliate link - There is not extra cost to you...But you do get a discount and I get a little thank you! Win-Win!

Even without the affiliate link I still would be promoting this course as I really do believe in being empowered to have these discussions with our children.

Victoria teaches in a way that equips and makes these 'tricky conversations' a part of our every day, making them accessible... and supporting us to ensure they actually happen!

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019 Understanding Play Schemas & Love Languages in Parenting

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Wrapping Up the Love Languages Series: How Play Can Deepen Your Connection with Your Child

Do you ever wonder what’s really behind your child’s play? Or why they behave a certain way when they’re feeling disconnected? Understanding play schemas and love languages can completely transform the way you interact with your little one—making parenting more intentional, fun, and fulfilling!

In this final episode of our Love Languages & Play series, we bring everything together to help you recognise, respond to, and nurture your child’s emotional needs through play.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

✅ How Play Schemas & Love Languages Work Together – Discover how your child’s natural play tendencies (like spinning, building, or transporting objects) can align with their love language and emotional needs.

✅ Spotting Your Child’s Love Language in Daily Life – Learn the simple ways children express what they need, from asking for quality time to seeking physical touch.

✅ Why Love Languages Change Over Time – Understand how your child’s love language may shift as they grow, and how to stay attuned to their evolving needs.

✅ The Connection Between Love Tanks & Behaviour – Is your child acting out, or are they just running low on love? Learn how unmet emotional needs can show up in tantrums, clinginess, or defiance.

✅ Discipline Through the Lens of Love Languages – Why using the wrong consequence could do more harm than good, and how to guide your child in a way that keeps their love tank full.

✅ Building a Stronger Family Culture – Encourage siblings, partners, and extended family to understand and support each other’s love languages, creating a more connected home.

💡 Try This Today!

Next time your child is upset, ask yourself: Have I filled their love tank today? Take just five minutes to connect in their love language—whether it’s a cuddle, a game, or simply telling them how much you love them. You might be surprised by the difference it makes!

💬 We’d love to hear from you! What love language does your child respond to most? Share your experiences with us!

📌 Resources & More:
🔗 Read more on our blog: playschemas.com
📲 Follow us on Instagram for daily insights: @play_schemas
📩 Join our newsletter for exclusive parenting tips: playschemas.com

If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review—your support helps more parents discover how to make play a powerful parenting tool! 🎧💖

#PlaySchemas #LoveLanguages #ParentingTips #EarlyChildhood #GentleParenting #ChildDevelopment

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018 Acts of Service = Love in Action!

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Unlock the Secrets of Your Child’s Play: Play Schemas & Acts of Service in Parenting!

Have you ever wondered why your child insists on lining up their toys, spinning in circles, or moving objects from place to place? It might seem random (or even frustrating!), but these repetitive behaviours are actually part of their natural learning process. They’re called play schemas, and understanding them can transform the way you see your child’s play—helping you to nurture their development and reduce daily parenting struggles.

But there’s more! When we connect play schemas with the love language of acts of service, we unlock an even deeper way to support our children. In this episode, we’ll explore how simple, everyday acts of service can show love, model responsibility, and empower our little ones to serve themselves—and eventually, others.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ What play schemas are and how they shape your child’s learning and behaviour.
✅ The love language acts of service—why it’s more than just doing things for your child.
✅ How recognising play schemas can strengthen your bond and make daily life smoother.
✅ Practical ways to support your child’s play while fostering independence and confidence.
✅ How small, intentional acts of service help children understand love, responsibility, and community.

As parents, we’re constantly serving our children—meals, clean clothes, cuddles, bedtime routines—but when done with intention, these daily tasks become powerful expressions of love. In this episode, we talk about how acts of service should go beyond “doing everything for them” and instead guide children toward learning, responsibility, and meaningful connection.

💡 Ready to see your child’s play in a whole new light? Grab a cuppa, pop in your earphones, and let’s dive in!

🎧 Subscribe & Listen: Never miss an episode—hit Follow on your favourite podcast app!

📲 Join the Conversation: Follow us on Instagram @Play_Schemas for daily insights & tips!

📩 Get More Parenting Resources: Join our newsletter at playschemas.com

#PlaySchemas #ParentingPodcast #ActsOfService #EarlyLearning

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017 Loving your child through gifts and play

Thu, 20 Mar 2025 07:00:00 +1300

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016 Make Memories: Play & Quality Time Tips!

Thu, 13 Mar 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Ever feel like your child is constantly throwing, spinning, or building the same thing over and over—and you’re not quite sure why? Or maybe you’re wondering how to give your child the quality time they crave without adding more to your already packed schedule? You’re not alone! In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re unlocking the magic behind play schemas and how they connect with the love language of Quality Time—helping you build stronger bonds with your child through their natural way of playing.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✔️ What are play schemas? Discover why your child repeats certain play behaviours and what it tells you about their development.
✔️ Why Quality Time matters—especially for children who seek undivided attention from parents.
✔️ 10 easy ways to turn play into meaningful connection, tailored to your child’s unique play interests.
✔️ How to make time for Quality Time (even when life is busy!).

Many childhood behaviours—like throwing objects, hiding under blankets, or endlessly lining up toys—aren’t random at all! They’re part of play schemas, the natural way children explore and make sense of the world. When you understand these patterns, you can join in their play in a way that feels natural, fun, and deeply connecting.

And if your child’s primary love language is Quality Time, they don’t just want you to watch them play—they want you to play with them! But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you need to set aside hours of elaborate playtime. Even small, everyday moments can make a big impact!

Practical Ideas You Can Try Today!

🌟 Trajectory Play (throwing, dropping, running): Instead of saying "Stop throwing!", turn it into a game—play catch, race toy cars, or explore water play together.
🌟 Rotation Play (spinning, turning things): Join your child in stirring, mixing, or riding bikes—simple, everyday moments that fill their love tank.
🌟 Enclosure Play (building forts, climbing into spaces): Snuggle inside a homemade fort for cosy, screen-free Quality Time.
🌟 Positioning Play (lining things up, arranging objects): Set the table together or sort coloured toys—simple, mindful moments that strengthen your connection.

✨ Even just 10 minutes of focused, undistracted play can make your child feel seen, valued, and deeply loved!

Too Busy? Here’s How to Fit It In!

We get it—parents are BUSY! But Quality Time doesn’t mean grand outings or hours of play. Here are simple ways to make connection part of your daily routine:
✔️ Pre-bedtime snuggles – A perfect, distraction-free way to end the day.
✔️ Car time chats – Use car rides for fun conversations instead of screens.
✔️ Cooking together – Let them help mix, pour, or taste-test while you chat.
✔️ Set a timer – Just 10–15 minutes of full attention can make all the difference!

🎁 Givea

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015 Why Your Words Matter: Affirmation in Play

Thu, 06 Mar 2025 14:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

In this episode, we delve into the fascinating world of child play through the lens of play schemas and the powerful impact of words of affirmation. Understanding why children engage in particular play patterns allows us to connect with them on a deeper level and support their growth more effectively. These schemas are not simply repetitive behaviors; they serve as gateways to developing essential skills like problem-solving and spatial awareness.

We discuss how to frame our communication to not only encourage our children but also help them understand the value of their efforts. Words hold tremendous power; hence, using affirmations thoughtfully can have a lasting impact on their self-esteem and overall development. Through concrete examples, we explore how to apply praise thoughtfully, nurturing your child’s sense of self regardless of the situation.

As we navigate the complexities of parenting, we recognize the importance of our energy and positivity in our interactions. Listening to your child’s play and responding with affirmation is key to fostering a supportive learning environment. This conversation focuses on practical, actionable insights for parents to implement at home, enhancing connections with your children while encouraging their unique paths to learning and exploration.

What You’ll Discover in This Episode:

✔️ The 10 Play Schemas – How children explore the world through play
✔️ Why Play Schemas Matter – Reduce frustration and support learning
✔️ Words That Empower – Practical scripts to affirm and encourage your child
✔️ The Hidden Power of Praise – How to uplift without over-praising
✔️ Avoiding Common Pitfalls – The impact of sarcasm, tone, and empty praise

Join us for a warm, engaging discussion that encourages deeper understanding and nurturing connections in your parenting journey. Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to help us reach even more families!

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014 Play Schemas & The Love Language of Physical Touch | Understanding Your Child’s Needs

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 11:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Did you know that something as simple as a hug, a high-five, or a game of tag could be the key to your child feeling deeply loved and secure? In this episode, we’re exploring Physical Touch as a love language—how it shapes your child’s emotional development, why some kids crave it more than others, and how you can easily incorporate it into everyday moments of play.

For many parents, physical touch comes naturally in the early years—rocking, holding, carrying—but as children grow, affectionate touch often fades into the background. And if your love language isn’t physical touch, you might find yourself wondering: “Am I giving my child what they need to feel truly loved?”

💡 Here’s the good news: You don’t need to be a “cuddly” parent to make this love language work. Physical touch isn’t just about hugs—it can be playful, fun, and part of your daily routines!

Let’s start by addresing something important: body safety and consent. In a world where we’re constantly teaching our kids about personal space and “safe touch,” how do we also make sure they’re getting enough loving, appropriate, and secure physical connection? That’s why I’ve partnered with Victoria Barendsen from The Safe Kids Project, a registered psychologist specialising in childhood trauma and body safety. If you want to feel empowered in teaching your child about safe boundaries, check out her ‘Foundations of Body Safety’ course—and get a special discount just for listeners at https://thesafekidsproject.com/ and use the code playschemas10 at checkout for a 10% discount.

🎧 What You'll Learn in This Episode:

✔️ Why Physical Touch Matters – The emotional and developmental benefits of affectionate touch
✔️ How Play Naturally Encourages Physical Connection – Simple ways to build touch into your child’s day
✔️ Age-Appropriate Ways to Use Physical Touch – From toddlers to tweens, what works best?
✔️ Respecting Boundaries – Teaching consent without withdrawing affection
✔️ Easy, Everyday Play Ideas for Connection – No extra effort required!

🤹‍♀️ Using Play to Connect Through Touch
Physical touch doesn’t have to feel forced—it’s naturally woven into so many types of play! In this episode, I share:
🎯 Rough-and-Tumble Games – Chase, tag, tickling, piggyback rides
🎨 Sensory Play – Messy play with dough, mud, and textures
🎵 Rhythmic Clapping & Hand Games – Fun ways to include gentle touch
🎠 Swinging & Spinning – Playful movement that strengthens connection
💡 Building Together – Snuggle in a fort, sit closely while crafting, or create hand-linked towers

👉 Want a FREE Play Schema Guide? Grab yours at playschemas.com/free!

📲 Follow along on Instagram: @play_schemas for daily parenting

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013 Play Schemas and Love Languages - a Match Made in Heaven

Thu, 20 Feb 2025 10:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

LOVE to a Child is Spelt TIME: Understanding the 5 Love Languages of Children

💛 Do you ever wonder if your child truly feels loved? You tell them “I love you” a hundred times a day, but sometimes, their behaviour suggests they need more. The secret? Kids don’t just hear love—they experience it. And every child has their own way of receiving love.

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we dive into Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages of Children and how you can use play to meet your child’s emotional needs in a way that makes sense to them. Whether your little one thrives on cuddles, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, or small acts of kindness, understanding how they receive love can transform your relationship and strengthen their emotional security.

🎙️ Inside This Episode, You’ll Discover:
✅ The 5 Love Languages of Children—and why toddlers need all of them!
✅ Why love is the foundation of all child development (without it, nothing else sticks!)
✅ How your child’s play behaviour gives clues about their emotional needs
✅ Why kids’ love languages change—especially before age 5
✅ How big life changes (like a new sibling) can shift how they seek connection
✅ Practical ways to show love through play—based on your child’s play schema

✨ A Full Emotional Tank = A Happy, Secure Child
Children don’t always have the words to say, "I need love right now." Instead, they show us through clinging, meltdowns, defiance, or attention-seeking behaviour. In this episode, we unpack how to spot the signs of an empty emotional tank—and how to fill it up again in a way that truly resonates with your child.

🚀 What’s Coming Next?
This episode is just the beginning! Over the next few weeks, we’ll deep dive into each love language and explore how you can nurture it through play.

💌 Let’s Keep the Conversation Going!
🔗 Read the blog & show notes: playschemas.com/013
📲 Follow on Instagram: @play_schemas
💬 Join the Facebook community: facebook.com/playschemas

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please:
👍 Follow & rate the podcast to help others find it!
💬 Share your thoughts—what’s your child’s favourite way to receive love?

Because at the end of the day, love isn’t just something we say—it’s something we show. ❤️

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012 Engage your little helpers at home through Play!

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 11:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Play Schemas at Home: Turning Play Into Productivity

How to Encourage Your Child to Help Around the House—Through Play!

FREE list of play and helping around the home ideas - head to playschemas.com/free!

Does it feel like you’re constantly cleaning up after your little one while they seem more interested in making a mess? What if, instead of working against their natural play instincts, you worked with them?

Children explore the world through play schemas—repetitive patterns of behaviour that help them make sense of their surroundings. Understanding these schemas can turn everyday chores into engaging activities, helping you get things done while fostering their development.

Today you’ll discover:

How play schemas influence your child’s behaviour.
Practical, play-based ways to get your child involved in household tasks.
Simple activities that turn playtime into productive time.

What Are Play Schemas?

Play schemas are the natural ways children explore and understand their world. When you match everyday activities to these schemas, you make chores feel like play—encouraging your child to participate instead of resist.

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011 Playing Together – How Adults Can Join the Fun Without Taking Over

Thu, 06 Feb 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Playing Together – How to Join the Fun Without Taking Over

Have you ever found yourself ‘playing’ with your child, only to realise that you’re the one in charge? One moment you’re happily stacking blocks, and the next, you’re directing the entire build like an overzealous project manager. Sound familiar? You’re not alone!

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re diving into the art of playing with your child—without taking over. If you’ve ever wondered how to join in their games while still allowing them to lead, this episode is for you.

Why This Matters for You and Your Child

Play isn’t just about keeping little ones entertained—it’s how they learn, express creativity, and process the world around them. But as adults, we often struggle to step back and let them take the lead. Maybe it feels unnatural, or you’re unsure what to do, or you slip into ‘teaching mode’ without realising. The good news? There’s a better way to support your child’s play without overshadowing their creativity.

Inside This Episode, You’ll Discover:

🔹 Why letting kids lead their play is key to their development and confidence
🔹 How to engage in play without turning it into an adult-led production
🔹 Four simple steps to join the fun—without taking over
🔹 Real-life examples of parents finding the balance between guidance and freedom
🔹 How to harness play schemas to make everyday tasks fun and engaging

Plus, we’ll explore easy, schema-based activities that transform everyday chores into playful learning moments. Whether your child loves throwing, transporting, spinning, or stacking, you’ll learn creative ways to channel their energy into helping around the house—without the battles!

Try This at Home!

This week, we’re setting a fun challenge: Try one schema-based activity from today’s episode and see how your child responds! You might be surprised at how naturally they engage in meaningful play when given the freedom to explore.

Let’s Connect!

If this episode gave you a fresh perspective on play, we’d love to hear from you! Share your experiences, tag us on social media, or leave a review—it helps other parents discover the magic of play schemas too. And don’t forget to grab your FREE Schema Cheat Sheet at playschemas.com/free.

Hit play now and discover how to make playtime more fun, connected, and stress-free for both you and your child! 🎧✨

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010 Play Schemas and Siblings – How to Make Schemas Work for (Not Against!) You

Fri, 31 Jan 2025 20:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Play Schemas and Siblings – How to Make Schemas Work for (Not Against!) You!

👧👦 Do your kids constantly clash over toys, fight over space, or seem to have completely different play styles? You’re not alone! Sibling play can be tricky—one child wants to build, while the other wants to knock things down. One loves to throw, while the other carefully arranges their toys in a perfect line. What if we told you that these differences aren’t just personality quirks but deeply rooted in the way children naturally explore the world?

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play | Play Schemas, we’re diving into the science behind play schemas and how they can either cause frustration between siblings—or bring them closer together. By understanding how your children’s play instincts work, you can create a more peaceful, engaging, and cooperative play environment at home.

✨ In This Episode, You’ll Discover:

✅ What play schemas are (and why they’re the key to understanding your child’s play behaviour)
✅ Why siblings often have different schemas—and how this can lead to conflict
✅ How to support multiple schemas at the same time without chaos taking over
✅ Simple strategies to turn play struggles into opportunities for bonding
✅ Real-life examples of how parents can guide sibling play for fewer arguments and more connection

🏡 Practical Tips for Real Families

We know that parenting is busy, and there’s no time for complicated solutions. That’s why we’re sharing easy, doable strategies that fit into everyday life. Whether it’s setting up play invitations that cater to different schemas or gently redirecting play conflicts in the moment, these tips will help you feel more in control of playtime and more confident in your parenting.

❤️ Because Play Shouldn’t Be a Battleground!

When you understand why your children play the way they do, you’ll be able to guide them in a way that supports their natural development—without the stress. Let’s make play work for you, not against you!

🎧 Tune in now and transform sibling playtime into a moment of learning, connection, and fun.

📩 Loved this episode? Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a new one! And if you found this helpful, please share it with a friend—it might just save their sanity too!

🔗 FREEbies & more play tips: playschemas.com
📸 Follow us on Instagram: @play_schemas

#PlaySchemas #SiblingPlay #ParentingTips #EarlyLearning #ChildDevelopment

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009 The Power of Independent Play – Nurturing Confident and Creative Kids

Thu, 23 Jan 2025 08:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Episode 9: The Power of Independent Play – Nurturing Confident and Creative Kids

Do you dream of guilt-free moments to enjoy a hot drink while it’s still hot—without hearing a desperate “Muuum!” every two minutes? What if those moments didn’t just give you a breather but also helped your child grow into a confident, creative problem solver?

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re diving deep into the world of independent play—what it is, why it’s crucial for your child’s development, and how you can encourage it while understanding your child’s unique play style through play schemas.

Why Independent Play Matters

We’re busting the myth that independent play is about “leaving kids to it.” Instead, it’s about creating the right conditions for your child to explore, learn, and grow through self-directed play. You’ll discover how this magical time enhances:

Cognitive growth, sharpening focus, problem-solving, and critical thinking.
Emotional regulation, teaching patience and resilience.
Confidence and autonomy, empowering your child to trust their abilities.

The Key to Easier Independent Play: Understanding Play Schemas

If you’ve ever wondered why your child loves lining up cars, spinning objects, or wrapping their toys in blankets, you’re not alone! These behaviours are rooted in play schemas—natural patterns in the way children explore the world. When you identify your child’s schema, you can offer toys and activities they’ll naturally love, such as:

Ramps and balls for kids who love all things trajectory.
Buckets and trolleys for little transporters.
Boxes and blankets for the enclosing enthusiast.

By working with your child’s natural play urges, rather than against them, you can make independent play longer-lasting and more fulfilling—for both of you!

Practical Tips to Set the Stage

Creating a space for independent play doesn’t require a Pinterest-perfect playroom or expensive toys. In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

Craft a simple, child-friendly play area in your home.
Use open-ended toys (yes, trucks and dinosaurs can work!) to fuel creativity and engagement.
Rotate toys to keep things fresh and prevent overstimulation.

What If Your Child Struggles to Play Alone?

We’ve got you covered! From starting with just 5 minutes a day to gently stepping back as their confidence grows, you’ll gain actionable strategies for encouraging independence—no tears (or tantrums!) required. Plus, tips for handling attention-seekers and reigniting stagnant play sessions.

For more inspiration, grab your free Top 10 Play Schemas Cheat Sheet at playschemas.com/free. If you want to dive deeper into play schemas, check out the show

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008 Kickstart 2025 with Play: Unlock Joyful Parenting Through Play Schemas!

Thu, 16 Jan 2025 07:00:00 +1300

Ready to make 2025 the best year yet for your family? Dive into this exciting episode of Demystifying Child’s Play as we explore how understanding and embracing play schemas can transform your parenting journey. Whether you’re a returning listener or new to the podcast, this episode is packed with inspiration and actionable tips to help you connect with your child through meaningful play.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

🔹 What are Play Schemas? Discover the 10 universal patterns of play – from trajectory and transportation to enveloping and positioning. Learn how these natural, repetitive behaviours help children make sense of the world.

🔹 Why Play Schemas Matter: Understand the cognitive, physical, and social-emotional benefits of play schemas, like building problem-solving skills, fostering creativity, and boosting confidence.

🔹 How to Spot Your Child’s Play Patterns: Simple observation tips to identify schemas in action, whether it’s lining up toys (positioning) or wrapping objects in blankets (enveloping).

🔹 Practical Ways to Nurture Play: Explore ideas to provide toys and activities that align with your child’s unique interests. Learn how to create daily routines that prioritise play and build lasting skills.

Why This Episode Matters for Parents:

Parenting toddlers and young children often comes with questions like:

Why does my child repeat the same actions over and over?
How can I encourage their natural curiosity and creativity?
What activities will truly engage and support their development?

By understanding play schemas, you’ll gain insights into these behaviours, helping you respond with empathy and intention. This knowledge makes parenting more joyful, less frustrating, and filled with opportunities for connection.

Storytime: Real-Life Schema Moments Over the Holidays
Hear relatable examples of how schemas show up in everyday play. From a child obsessed with stacking cups (positioning) to one delighting in packing bags (transporting), these stories illustrate how play schemas are universal, playful expressions of learning.

2025: The Year of Playful Connection
This episode is just the start of an incredible lineup for the year. Get a sneak peek of our upcoming 3-part series on play with others – independently, with siblings or friends, and with adults. Plus, hear a hint about a game-changing topic that will deepen your connection with your child.

Play as an Investment in Your Child’s Future
Discover why play is so much more than just fun. It’s an essential tool for developing resilience, creativity, and social skills. Learn how to model playfulness and create cherished family memories that last a lifetime.

Let’s Make 2025 a Year of Joyful Play!

Subscribe to Demystifying Child’s Play today and never miss an episode filled with practical parenting tips and those all-important “aha” moments. Visit

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007 Christmas Play Schemas: Tips & Scenarios

Thu, 19 Dec 2024 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Is your child tossing baubles, spinning ornaments, or carrying presents across the room? Before you wonder if they’re being “naughty,” take a deep breath—they’re not being difficult; they’re being explorers! In this episode, we’ll decode these behaviours through the lens of play schemas, helping you see the magic in your child’s play this Christmas.

✨ What’s Inside This Episode?
Christmas can be a magical time, but for parents of young children, it’s often filled with unexpected moments. Your toddler’s fascination with spinning decorations, piling presents, or mixing food can leave you feeling frustrated or embarrassed—especially when relatives raise an eyebrow. But what if you could make sense of it all?

In this episode, I’ll help you understand these quirky actions as play schemas—a natural part of your child’s development that allows them to learn, grow, and make sense of the world. You’ll gain practical tools to:
✅ Recognise the most common play schemas in action this Christmas.
✅ Redirect your child’s play in ways that support their development and protect the festive vibe.
✅ Explain their behaviour to family members with confidence and clarity.

🎄 Real-Life Festive Scenarios & Solutions
Here’s a taste of what we’ll cover:

Trajectory Schema: Throwing baubles or tossing wrapping paper? They’re exploring movement and physics—offer soft balls or paper snowballs instead.
Transporting Schema: Carrying gifts across the room? They’re mastering coordination—set up a ‘delivery station’ to channel this energy.
Enveloping Schema: Wrapping themselves (or the dog!) in blankets? They’re exploring boundaries—provide scarves or a box they can crawl into.
Rotation Schema: Spinning ornaments or twirling in circles? It’s all about balance and coordination—encourage safe spinning toys or activities.
Transforming Schema: Mixing food or tearing paper? They’re little scientists experimenting—give them playdough or edible ‘safe science’ tasks.

These scenarios—and more—will give you simple, actionable tips to turn potential chaos into calm, all while fostering your child’s natural curiosity.

🎁 The Cheat Sheet You’ll Love
To make this even easier, I’ve created a free cheat sheet summarising these insights. Whether you print it for quick reference or share it with family, it’s a practical way to front-foot those awkward conversations and keep everyone on the same page. Download it here: 👉 playschemas.com/007 or playschemas.com/free

✨ Why This Matters
When you understand why your child behaves the way they do, you can replace stress with connection. Play schemas aren’t just about play—they’re about learning, discovery, and growth. This Christmas, let’s

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006 Experience the magic of nature with Play Schemas

Wed, 11 Dec 2024 19:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Unlock the Secret to Your Child’s Play: Why Nature Play and Play Schemas Matter! 🌱

Ever wondered why your toddler spends hours collecting sticks, throwing pebbles, or carefully lining up leaves? What if these seemingly random behaviours were actually the building blocks of their development? In this episode of Demystifying Child's Play, we explore the fascinating world of play schemas—the patterns of play that children naturally engage in to learn about their world—and how getting outside in nature can supercharge these essential learning experiences.

🌟 What You’ll Discover in This Episode:

What Are Play Schemas? A simple, clear explanation of the 10 most common play schemas—like trajectory, transporting, and transforming—and why they’re crucial for your child’s mental, physical, and emotional development.
The Power of Nature Play: Learn why outdoor play isn’t just fun—it’s vital for reducing stress, boosting creativity, and helping kids grow into confident, resilient individuals.
Real-Life Stories: Hear relatable, heartwarming examples of how children explore these schemas in their everyday play—like the toddler who collects rocks with a sense of purpose or the preschooler who builds a leafy fort in the backyard.
Practical Tips for Parents: Get actionable advice on how to recognise, support, and encourage your child’s natural play patterns at home and outdoors. From setting up a simple mud kitchen to organising a treasure hunt, these ideas are easy to try and packed with developmental benefits.

🌿 Why You’ll Love This Episode:
This episode is for every parent who has ever felt overwhelmed by messes, puzzled by repetitive play, or wondered how to make the most of their child’s curiosity. By understanding play schemas, you’ll gain a fresh perspective on your child’s behaviours and learn how to nurture their growth through joyful, meaningful play. Plus, we’ll show you how nature offers the perfect playground for these magical learning moments!

✨ Key Takeaways Include:

How recognising play schemas can reduce frustration and strengthen your parent-child bond.
Creative outdoor activity ideas for summer that engage your child’s natural curiosity.
Tips for turning everyday items—like sticks, leaves, and mud—into tools for learning and exploration.

💡 Listen Now and Empower Your Parenting!
Your child’s play is more than just play—it’s how they grow, learn, and connect with the world. By tuning into this episode, you’ll discover how to embrace these moments with confidence and joy.

🎧 Subscribe and Stay Inspired!
If you love discovering simple, research-backed parenting tips, don’t forget to hit subscribe and leave a review. Share this episode with a fellow parent who could use some fresh play inspiration, and l

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005 The Origins of Play Schemas

Thu, 05 Dec 2024 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Unlock the Secrets Behind Your Child’s Play: The Origins of Play Schemas

Ever wondered why your little one loves to spin wheels, drop toys, or line up blocks over and over again? Those seemingly simple actions aren’t just random—they’re part of something much bigger: play schemas. In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re diving deep into the fascinating origins of these repeated behaviours and uncovering why they are essential for your child’s cognitive and emotional growth.

As a parent, you might feel overwhelmed trying to understand your child’s play habits. Are they learning? Is their behaviour normal? This episode will help you see the brilliance behind their play and give you confidence in how to support it.

We’ll explore the roots of play schemas, tracing them back to pioneering research by Frederick Bartlett and Jean Piaget, two of the most influential minds in child development. Plus, we’ll break down the science into bite-sized, relatable insights that will leave you in awe of what your child is achieving every time they play.

🎙️ What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

What Are Play Schemas?
Discover the simple yet powerful patterns of behaviour that help children make sense of their world. Whether your child loves spinning, throwing, or hiding objects, these actions are building their understanding of how things work.
The Science Behind Play Schemas:
Learn about schema theory, a concept that’s been shaping our understanding of learning since the 1930s. From Bartlett’s original ideas to Piaget’s groundbreaking work on cognitive development, we’ll explain why play schemas are vital for your child’s brain development.
The Magic of Early Development:
Explore the Sensorimotor Stage, where babies learn through their senses, and the Preoperational Stage, where imagination takes flight. We’ll share real-life examples of how these stages connect to the play schemas you see every day.

💡
Understanding play schemas isn’t just about decoding your child’s actions—it’s about unlocking the window into their growing mind. By supporting these behaviours, you’re fostering their creativity, curiosity, and love of learning. And here’s the best part: you don’t need to overhaul your parenting approach. With just a few small adjustments, you can make playtime even more enriching and enjoyable—for both of you.

📌 Take Action Today:
Notice your child’s play patterns this week. Is there a schema you can recognise? Whether it’s transporting toys in bags or dropping blocks from a height, think of one simple way to support their learning through this behaviour.

💬 Let’s Connect!
If you’re ready to dive deeper into play schemas, visit playschemas.com/005 for show notes, resources, and a free cheat sheet on the top 10 play schemas. Follow us on Instagram @play_s

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004 Unlocking Your Toddler’s World: A Deep Dive into the 10 Most Common Play Schemas

Thu, 28 Nov 2024 13:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Do you ever wonder why your child insists on lining up toys or endlessly pouring water? Are you curious about how these playful quirks unlock their learning and development? You're in the right place! 🎉

In this episode, we’re diving into 10 play schemas—the building blocks of children’s play—and how understanding them can transform your parenting journey. From Transporting 🛻 to Enclosing 🏗️, I’ll guide you through each schema with real-life examples and tips to nurture your child’s creativity and growth.

👩‍👧‍👦 Whether you’re a parent juggling busy days or a caregiver seeking new insights, this podcast is your go-to resource for actionable advice and relatable stories. By the end of this episode, you’ll not only recognize your child’s play patterns but also feel equipped to foster their unique style of learning. 🌱

Why This Matters:

🔑 Unlock Development: Play schemas aren’t just fun—they’re how kids make sense of the world. Recognising them helps you support their natural curiosity. 💡 Boost Your Confidence: Feel more connected to your child by understanding why they play the way they do. 🧸 Enrich Their Play: Discover simple tweaks to toys, activities, and your environment to encourage deeper, more meaningful play.

🎧 Tune In and Discover:

What are play schemas? 🤔
The 10 most common play schemas and their unique characteristics 🛝
How to spot your child’s favourite schema in everyday play 🕵️‍♀️
Easy, low-cost ways to extend their play at home 💡

💌 Ready for more? Download your free Play Schema Cheat Sheet for quick reference at playschemas.com/free.

🌟 Let’s connect! Share your “aha” moments or your child’s latest play adventures on Instagram @play_schemas or visit playschemas.com/contact. I’d love to hear from you! 💬

Join us on this journey to demystify the magic of play and create stronger bonds with your child—one schema at a time.

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003 Reducing Frustration through understanding Play Schemas

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 11:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Ever wonder why your toddler insists on throwing toys, spinning in circles, or hiding your kitchen towels? Believe it or not, there’s a method to the madness—it’s called play schemas. These are natural, repeated behaviours that children use to explore and understand their world. In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re uncovering how recognising these play patterns can revolutionise your parenting.

🎯 What You’ll Learn:

What play schemas are and why they’re key to your child’s development.
How understanding these behaviours can reduce frustration and bring more joy to your home.
Real-life examples of parents transforming chaos into connection and creativity.
Practical tips for supporting your child’s schemas and making playtime a collaborative, fun experience.

Join me as I share insights, stories, and actionable strategies to help you lean into your child’s natural tendencies instead of fighting against them. From the trajectory schema (hello, flying food!) to the enveloping schema (goodbye, tea towels!), you’ll discover how to turn everyday challenges into opportunities for learning and bonding.

💡 Bonus! Grab your free cheat sheet outlining the 10 most common play schemas at playschemas.com/free.

💬 Let’s Connect:
Share your parenting wins, struggles, or aha moments with me!

Social: @play_schemas
Email: ruth@playschemas.com

✨ Parenting doesn’t have to feel like a battle. Tune in to learn how understanding play schemas can help you foster curiosity, connection, and calm—one play session at a time. Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share with other parents on this journey!

🎧 Listen now and discover how today is a great day to play!

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002 Unlocking Play Schemas: Understand & Support Playful Learning

Thu, 14 Nov 2024 07:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Hey there! 👋 Ever wondered why your child keeps repeating the same actions, like throwing toys, moving objects around, or spinning in circles? Believe it or not, there's a fascinating reason behind these repetitive behaviours. They’re called play schemas—patterns of play that help kids explore and make sense of the world.

In today’s podcast, I’ll walk you through the 10 most common play schemas, from the Trajectory Schema (think throwing and dropping) to the Positioning Schema (lining up toys). Each schema offers unique benefits, like building motor skills, spatial awareness, problem-solving, and creativity.

Here's a sneak peek at what you'll learn:

Trajectory Schema 🏀 - Throwing, pushing, and dropping. Discover how this schema teaches gravity, force, and motion.

Transporting Schema 🚚 - Moving objects from one place to another. Learn how transporting builds spatial understanding and organisation.

Enveloping Schema 📦 - Wrapping and hiding objects (or even themselves!). Enveloping helps kids explore boundaries and containment.

Rotation Schema 🔄 - Spinning objects or themselves. This schema promotes balance, coordination, and motor skills.

Connecting Schema 🔗 - Joining items together (think blocks, magnets). Connecting is key to problem-solving and understanding relationships.

Disconnecting Schema 🧩 - Taking things apart. Perfect for building fine motor skills and problem-solving.

Enclosure Schema 🏠 - Putting items inside other items. Enclosure helps kids learn about “inside vs. outside” and spatial awareness.

Orientation Schema 👀 - Looking at things from different perspectives (tilting heads, looking upside down). This builds spatial skills and creative thinking.

Transforming Schema 🍲 - Mixing, tearing, or changing things (like making mud!). Transforming supports understanding cause and effect.

Positioning Schema 📏 - Arranging objects in patterns or lines. Great for math and science skills.

Tips for Encouraging Play Schemas at Home:
Create Schema-Friendly Play Opportunities: Set up simple activities that match your child’s schema interests.
Observe Without Interrupting: Watching your child can reveal a lot about their learning style.
Play Areas for Each Schema: Give them tools like soft balls for trajectory play or blankets for enveloping.

By understanding play schemas, you can create a supportive environment for your child’s natural learning. Not only does it make playtime more fun, but it also helps your child build essential skills they’ll use for a lifetime.

And remember: today is a great day to play!

Don’t forget to download my FREE Play Schemas Cheat Sheet at PlaySchemas.com/free to get ahead on the 10 most common Play Schemas. Let’s make every day a great day to play! 🎉

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001 Play Schemas: Demystifying Childs Play

Fri, 08 Nov 2024 21:00:00 +1300

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Welcome to the first episode of "Demystifying Child’s Play"! I’m Ruth Vercoe, and today we’re diving into the fascinating world of play schemas—the patterns that shape how children learn and grow through play. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or caregiver of children aged 0-7, this episode is packed with insights on how understanding these schemas can transform your parenting approach. 🧸

In this episode, I share my own journey from being a teacher to a Mum and how recognising these play schemas has helped me connect with my children on a deeper level. Learn how play isn’t just random fun, but a vital part of your child’s development, with schemas like the trajectory schema, rotation schema, and enveloping schema guiding their exploration of the world. 🌍

If you've ever wondered why your little one throws things, spins around, or hides objects, this episode will shed light on those behaviours and how they contribute to cognitive growth. By embracing play schemas, you’ll discover how to turn frustrating moments into meaningful play experiences. Plus, I’ll share practical tips for engaging with your child’s play in ways that support their learning and reduce tantrums. 🙌

Don’t forget to download my FREE Play Schemas Cheat Sheet at PlaySchemas.com/free to get ahead on the 10 most common schemas. Let’s make every day a great day to play! 🎉

👉 Subscribe for weekly episodes and join the conversation on how play can unlock your child's potential.

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