You Keep Me Sane Wed, 15 Apr 2026 15:58:35 -0400 http://youkeepmesane.com en-gb © 2026 You Keep Me Sane yes b9227db2-2be6-5bf6-9505-6ae104deb92c Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy episodic false For 10 years, Aileen and Julie have been each other's sounding board from opposite sides of the globe – Aileen in London and Julie in Melbourne.

They have navigated everything – motherhood, relationships, menopause, health, grief, and everything in between – through daily voice messages. These exchanges often became lifelines, and now they share that space with their listeners.

In You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie hold honest conversations on life's challenges, growth, and connection. They lend an ear and share heartfelt insights, creating a space that allows both them, and you, to be human.

Listeners are encouraged to write in with their own experiences and topics, becoming part of the conversation that feels like a chat with close friends.

]]> Buzzsprout (https://www.buzzsprout.com) Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy https://storage.buzzsprout.com/h0nj9kqchqu0o2byxf84bnuupf0y?.jpg You Keep Me Sane http://youkeepmesane.com The Day You Realise You Don't Need To Be Chosen Anymore The Day You Realise You Don't Need To Be Chosen Anymore Episode Overview
This week, we explore the need to be chosen — at work, in friendships, in love, and in family roles. For years, being picked can feel like proof of worth… and not being picked can quietly unravel us. We unpack how midlife starts to loosen that wiring, and how the shift from “please choose me” to “I choose me” changes everything.


Key Discussion Points

  • Aileen notices she no longer needs praise or an invitation to feel valuable
  • Julie reflects on how fear of rejection shaped her choices for years
  • How “shape-shifting” shows up in friendships, family roles and people-pleasing
  • The romantic reframe: not “Do they want me?” but “Do I choose them?”
  • How to spot when you’re still living in “please choose me” mode


Listener Takeaways

  • Being chosen isn’t proof of worth - and not being chosen isn’t proof you’re lacking
  • Fear of judgement can be just as exhausting as chasing validation
  • Midlife often brings clarity: you stop auditioning and start choosing
  • You can care deeply without over-explaining, over-giving, or over-performing
  • Self-worth grows when you trust your own choice, not someone else’s approval



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
This week, we explore the need to be chosen — at work, in friendships, in love, and in family roles. For years, being picked can feel like proof of worth… and not being picked can quietly unravel us. We unpack how midlife starts to loosen that wiring, and how the shift from “please choose me” to “I choose me” changes everything.


Key Discussion Points

  • Aileen notices she no longer needs praise or an invitation to feel valuable
  • Julie reflects on how fear of rejection shaped her choices for years
  • How “shape-shifting” shows up in friendships, family roles and people-pleasing
  • The romantic reframe: not “Do they want me?” but “Do I choose them?”
  • How to spot when you’re still living in “please choose me” mode


Listener Takeaways

  • Being chosen isn’t proof of worth - and not being chosen isn’t proof you’re lacking
  • Fear of judgement can be just as exhausting as chasing validation
  • Midlife often brings clarity: you stop auditioning and start choosing
  • You can care deeply without over-explaining, over-giving, or over-performing
  • Self-worth grows when you trust your own choice, not someone else’s approval



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-19005935 Wed, 15 Apr 2026 06:00:00 +0100 1117 2 20 full false Quiet Wealth : Why Peace Is The New Status Symbol Quiet Wealth : Why Peace Is The New Status Symbol Episode Overview

This week, we explore a quiet but powerful shift happening in midlife: the move from chasing traditional success to craving something far less flashy - peace.

For years, achievement meant striving. Building. Proving. Being impressive. We grew up in a culture that celebrated ambition, hustle and visible markers of success. And in many ways, we embodied that - high achievers, big thinkers, always “on.”

But midlife changes the lens.

With shifting hormones, teenage children, ageing parents, business pressures and the constant hum of modern life, the nervous system starts to demand honesty. What once felt energising now feels depleting. What once looked impressive now looks exhausting.

In this conversation, we unpack what happens when the real wealth we crave is calm. A regulated nervous system. Honest relationships. A home that feels steady. A life that feels sustainable.

Because maybe the bravest thing we can do in midlife isn’t scale up - it’s refine.


Key Discussion Points

  • Swapping coffee for cacao - and the unexpected lesson about cortisol, stimulation and going to extremes.
  • Why midlife women report some of the highest global stress levels - and what that says about modern success.
  • The shift from chasing “impressive” to choosing “peaceful.”
  • The guilt women feel when pulling back - and why peace is actually responsible, not selfish.
  • What “quiet wealth” looks like in real life: subtraction, depth, calm mornings and fewer but deeper relationships.
  • Insights from the long-running Harvard University adult development study, showing that close relationships - not fame or fortune - predict long-term happiness and health.


Listener Takeaways

  • Notice where you’re still chasing impressive instead of peaceful.
  • Ask yourself what your current version of “success” is costing your nervous system.
  • Consider subtracting one commitment this month.
  • Reduce exposure to comparison triggers — both online and in conversation.
  • Invest more deeply in one relationship that feels regulating rather than draining.
  • Define success privately, not publicly.

Quiet wealth doesn’t shout.
It doesn’t need applause.
But it feels rich.

If this season of your life is asking for less noise and more depth, you’re not behind. You’re not unambitious.

You might just be redefining

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

This week, we explore a quiet but powerful shift happening in midlife: the move from chasing traditional success to craving something far less flashy - peace.

For years, achievement meant striving. Building. Proving. Being impressive. We grew up in a culture that celebrated ambition, hustle and visible markers of success. And in many ways, we embodied that - high achievers, big thinkers, always “on.”

But midlife changes the lens.

With shifting hormones, teenage children, ageing parents, business pressures and the constant hum of modern life, the nervous system starts to demand honesty. What once felt energising now feels depleting. What once looked impressive now looks exhausting.

In this conversation, we unpack what happens when the real wealth we crave is calm. A regulated nervous system. Honest relationships. A home that feels steady. A life that feels sustainable.

Because maybe the bravest thing we can do in midlife isn’t scale up - it’s refine.


Key Discussion Points

  • Swapping coffee for cacao - and the unexpected lesson about cortisol, stimulation and going to extremes.
  • Why midlife women report some of the highest global stress levels - and what that says about modern success.
  • The shift from chasing “impressive” to choosing “peaceful.”
  • The guilt women feel when pulling back - and why peace is actually responsible, not selfish.
  • What “quiet wealth” looks like in real life: subtraction, depth, calm mornings and fewer but deeper relationships.
  • Insights from the long-running Harvard University adult development study, showing that close relationships - not fame or fortune - predict long-term happiness and health.


Listener Takeaways

  • Notice where you’re still chasing impressive instead of peaceful.
  • Ask yourself what your current version of “success” is costing your nervous system.
  • Consider subtracting one commitment this month.
  • Reduce exposure to comparison triggers — both online and in conversation.
  • Invest more deeply in one relationship that feels regulating rather than draining.
  • Define success privately, not publicly.

Quiet wealth doesn’t shout.
It doesn’t need applause.
But it feels rich.

If this season of your life is asking for less noise and more depth, you’re not behind. You’re not unambitious.

You might just be redefining

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-18916642 Wed, 01 Apr 2026 06:00:00 +0100 1624 2 19 full false The Negative Jar: Why One Comment Can Ruin Your Day The Negative Jar: Why One Comment Can Ruin Your Day This episode grew from a simple image we shared in a recent Sanity Check: two jars.

One jar is full — kind words, encouragement, praise, moments where someone saw you and appreciated you.

The other jar holds just one negative comment.

And yet… it’s the second jar most of us carry.

We explore why one raised eyebrow, one piece of criticism, one offhand remark can eclipse a hundred positive moments. Why it lingers. Why it replays. Why it feels like proof.

We talk about negativity bias, self-worth, shrinking, second-guessing and the quiet exhaustion that comes from gripping that mostly empty jar.

And most importantly — how we begin to put it down.

Key Discussion Points

  • The “two jars” metaphor and why so many women instantly recognised themselves in it
  • Why one negative comment can occupy our minds all day — even if it lasted only 30 seconds
  • The concept of negativity bias and how our brains process negative experiences more quickly than positive ones
  • How social conditioning (especially for women) amplifies the need to be liked, agreeable and “get it right”
  • Why praise often doesn’t land — and why criticism feels familiar
  • The connection between negative comments and pre-existing beliefs like “I’m not enough” or “I get it wrong”
  • How self-worth changes the proportion of impact — it’s not about becoming bulletproof, it’s about balance
  • The exhaustion of carrying self-doubt: over-explaining, shrinking, working harder than necessary
  • Why tiredness isn’t always about what you’re doing — sometimes it’s about what you’re carrying
  • Practical shifts: noticing which jar you’re holding, questioning why something landed so hard, and consciously allowing praise to sit


Listener Takeaways

  • You’re not dramatic for holding onto one comment — you’re human
  • Negative feedback often hurts because it echoes something you already believe
  • Praise doesn’t land if it doesn’t match your internal story
  • Growth isn’t about never being affected — it’s about not letting one comment define you
  • You don’t have to deny a negative experience — you just don’t have to build your identity around it
  • Self-worth strengthens when we become conscious of what gets to stay with us
  • The jar feels heavy because it is heavy — and you are allowed to put it down


Join the Conversation

As you listen, ask yourself:

Which jar am I carrying right now?
And more importantly —
Why am I still holding onto it?

We’d love to hear your reflections.

Come and tell us what resonated.
DM us on social media or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.

You’re not broken.
You’re learning what gets to stay.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> This episode grew from a simple image we shared in a recent Sanity Check: two jars.

One jar is full — kind words, encouragement, praise, moments where someone saw you and appreciated you.

The other jar holds just one negative comment.

And yet… it’s the second jar most of us carry.

We explore why one raised eyebrow, one piece of criticism, one offhand remark can eclipse a hundred positive moments. Why it lingers. Why it replays. Why it feels like proof.

We talk about negativity bias, self-worth, shrinking, second-guessing and the quiet exhaustion that comes from gripping that mostly empty jar.

And most importantly — how we begin to put it down.

Key Discussion Points

  • The “two jars” metaphor and why so many women instantly recognised themselves in it
  • Why one negative comment can occupy our minds all day — even if it lasted only 30 seconds
  • The concept of negativity bias and how our brains process negative experiences more quickly than positive ones
  • How social conditioning (especially for women) amplifies the need to be liked, agreeable and “get it right”
  • Why praise often doesn’t land — and why criticism feels familiar
  • The connection between negative comments and pre-existing beliefs like “I’m not enough” or “I get it wrong”
  • How self-worth changes the proportion of impact — it’s not about becoming bulletproof, it’s about balance
  • The exhaustion of carrying self-doubt: over-explaining, shrinking, working harder than necessary
  • Why tiredness isn’t always about what you’re doing — sometimes it’s about what you’re carrying
  • Practical shifts: noticing which jar you’re holding, questioning why something landed so hard, and consciously allowing praise to sit


Listener Takeaways

  • You’re not dramatic for holding onto one comment — you’re human
  • Negative feedback often hurts because it echoes something you already believe
  • Praise doesn’t land if it doesn’t match your internal story
  • Growth isn’t about never being affected — it’s about not letting one comment define you
  • You don’t have to deny a negative experience — you just don’t have to build your identity around it
  • Self-worth strengthens when we become conscious of what gets to stay with us
  • The jar feels heavy because it is heavy — and you are allowed to put it down


Join the Conversation

As you listen, ask yourself:

Which jar am I carrying right now?
And more importantly —
Why am I still holding onto it?

We’d love to hear your reflections.

Come and tell us what resonated.
DM us on social media or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.

You’re not broken.
You’re learning what gets to stay.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-18866214 Wed, 18 Mar 2026 03:00:00 +0000 1246 2 18 full false Losing Our Voice - When Midlife Asks Us 'Who Am I?' Losing Our Voice - When Midlife Asks Us 'Who Am I?' Episode Overview
There’s a moment many women reach - often in midlife - where we stop and quietly think, Who am I actually?

It doesn’t arrive with drama. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s usually the result of years spent being reliable, capable, needed. Years of making decisions for the family, the partnership, the household unit. Years of choosing what works.

And then one day, something pauses us.

Maybe it’s exhaustion.
Maybe it’s hormones shifting.
Maybe it’s the kids growing up.
Maybe it’s a relationship changing.

Or maybe it’s just the slow realisation that we don’t quite recognise ourselves anymore.

In this episode, we explore what it really means to “lose your voice” - not literally, but emotionally and identity-wise - and why that question in midlife isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong.

It might actually be a sign that something more honest is trying to emerge.


Key Discussion Points

  • What “losing your voice” actually means in adulthood
  • Operating as a family unit and how decisions slowly stop being about us
  • The invisible praise of being dependable, strong and capable
  • How self-worth becomes tied to being needed
  • Why midlife hormones, burnout and emotional shifts make the cracks visible
  • The body saying “no” after years of holding it all together
  • Reclaiming your voice quietly, not dramatically


Listener Takeaways

  • Losing your voice rarely happens suddenly - it’s usually the result of years of being dependable, capable and needed.
  • Living as part of a family unit can slowly shift decisions away from what you want towards what works for everyone.
  • Midlife often acts as a pause point, where exhaustion, hormones or emotional shifts make it harder to keep pretending everything is fine.
  • Feeling lost or disconnected isn’t a failure — it can be a signal that something more authentic is trying to surface.
  • Self-worth can quietly become tied to what we provide rather than who we are.
  • Reclaiming your voice doesn’t require dramatic reinvention — it can begin with small, honest noticing.
  • You don’t need to have all the answers. Awareness is a powerful first step.


Join the Conversation
Have you ever had that moment where you realised you didn’t quite recognise yourself anymore?

What brought it on - exhaustion, midlife, shifting roles, something else?

We’d genuinely love to hear from you.

Send us a DM or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com
You’re not alone in this.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
There’s a moment many women reach - often in midlife - where we stop and quietly think, Who am I actually?

It doesn’t arrive with drama. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s usually the result of years spent being reliable, capable, needed. Years of making decisions for the family, the partnership, the household unit. Years of choosing what works.

And then one day, something pauses us.

Maybe it’s exhaustion.
Maybe it’s hormones shifting.
Maybe it’s the kids growing up.
Maybe it’s a relationship changing.

Or maybe it’s just the slow realisation that we don’t quite recognise ourselves anymore.

In this episode, we explore what it really means to “lose your voice” - not literally, but emotionally and identity-wise - and why that question in midlife isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong.

It might actually be a sign that something more honest is trying to emerge.


Key Discussion Points

  • What “losing your voice” actually means in adulthood
  • Operating as a family unit and how decisions slowly stop being about us
  • The invisible praise of being dependable, strong and capable
  • How self-worth becomes tied to being needed
  • Why midlife hormones, burnout and emotional shifts make the cracks visible
  • The body saying “no” after years of holding it all together
  • Reclaiming your voice quietly, not dramatically


Listener Takeaways

  • Losing your voice rarely happens suddenly - it’s usually the result of years of being dependable, capable and needed.
  • Living as part of a family unit can slowly shift decisions away from what you want towards what works for everyone.
  • Midlife often acts as a pause point, where exhaustion, hormones or emotional shifts make it harder to keep pretending everything is fine.
  • Feeling lost or disconnected isn’t a failure — it can be a signal that something more authentic is trying to surface.
  • Self-worth can quietly become tied to what we provide rather than who we are.
  • Reclaiming your voice doesn’t require dramatic reinvention — it can begin with small, honest noticing.
  • You don’t need to have all the answers. Awareness is a powerful first step.


Join the Conversation
Have you ever had that moment where you realised you didn’t quite recognise yourself anymore?

What brought it on - exhaustion, midlife, shifting roles, something else?

We’d genuinely love to hear from you.

Send us a DM or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com
You’re not alone in this.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-18692035 Wed, 04 Mar 2026 06:00:00 +0000 1303 2 17 full false Always On: The Hidden Cortisol Cost of a Busy Life Always On: The Hidden Cortisol Cost of a Busy Life Episode overview
In this episode, we explore what it really means to live in an always-on world — and how that constant state of availability quietly keeps our stress response switched on.

Cortisol has become a bit of a villain in wellness conversations, but we unpack why it’s not the problem in itself. Cortisol is essential. The issue is that modern life rarely gives our bodies the chance to switch it off.

From 3am wake-ups and belly changes to mental load, boundaries, and self-worth, this is an honest conversation about why so many of us feel exhausted even when we don’t feel “stressed” - and what our bodies might be trying to tell us.


Key discussion point

  • The impact of living in an always-on culture: emails, messages, notifications, and mental load
  • Why our bodies can’t tell the difference between a real threat and constant pressure
  • The link between being busy, always available, and self-worth
  • Midlife, menopause, and why our bodies become less tolerant of sustained stress
  • Physical signs of chronically high cortisol: disrupted sleep, puffiness, belly fat, anxiety, digestive issues, and fatigue
  • Reframing cortisol as an alarm rather than the enemy


Listener takeaways

  • You don’t have to feel anxious or overwhelmed for cortisol to be high
  • Being busy and constantly “on” is still stress - even if it feels normal
  • Your body isn’t weak or broken; it’s responding to chronic pressure
  • Boundaries aren’t selfish - they’re self-preservation
  • You can’t regulate your way out of a life where your worth feels constantly on the line
  • Small changes matter: one pause, one boundary, one moment of choosing enough


Join the conversation

If you recognised yourself in this episode - the constant doing, the exhaustion, the feeling of being “on” all the time - you’re not alone.

We’d love to hear your thoughts.
Send us a DM on socials or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.

And if you’d like more from us, head over to Patreon for bonus episodes and deeper conversations.



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode overview
In this episode, we explore what it really means to live in an always-on world — and how that constant state of availability quietly keeps our stress response switched on.

Cortisol has become a bit of a villain in wellness conversations, but we unpack why it’s not the problem in itself. Cortisol is essential. The issue is that modern life rarely gives our bodies the chance to switch it off.

From 3am wake-ups and belly changes to mental load, boundaries, and self-worth, this is an honest conversation about why so many of us feel exhausted even when we don’t feel “stressed” - and what our bodies might be trying to tell us.


Key discussion point

  • The impact of living in an always-on culture: emails, messages, notifications, and mental load
  • Why our bodies can’t tell the difference between a real threat and constant pressure
  • The link between being busy, always available, and self-worth
  • Midlife, menopause, and why our bodies become less tolerant of sustained stress
  • Physical signs of chronically high cortisol: disrupted sleep, puffiness, belly fat, anxiety, digestive issues, and fatigue
  • Reframing cortisol as an alarm rather than the enemy


Listener takeaways

  • You don’t have to feel anxious or overwhelmed for cortisol to be high
  • Being busy and constantly “on” is still stress - even if it feels normal
  • Your body isn’t weak or broken; it’s responding to chronic pressure
  • Boundaries aren’t selfish - they’re self-preservation
  • You can’t regulate your way out of a life where your worth feels constantly on the line
  • Small changes matter: one pause, one boundary, one moment of choosing enough


Join the conversation

If you recognised yourself in this episode - the constant doing, the exhaustion, the feeling of being “on” all the time - you’re not alone.

We’d love to hear your thoughts.
Send us a DM on socials or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.

And if you’d like more from us, head over to Patreon for bonus episodes and deeper conversations.



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-18691875 Wed, 18 Feb 2026 06:00:00 +0000 1809 2 16 full false Wintering: Honouring Your Energy Through the Seasons Wintering: Honouring Your Energy Through the Seasons Episode Overview
In this episode, we explore the idea of wintering - not as a trend or aesthetic, but as a very real biological and emotional experience.

Recording from opposite sides of the world - one of us in a UK winter, the other in an Australian summer - we reflect on how seasons, light, energy, and life demands shape the way we feel, move, and cope. We talk about slowing down without guilt, listening to the body instead of forcing productivity, and what happens when winter stops being something to “survive” and becomes something we learn to work with.

This conversation is about acceptance, recalibration, and honouring capacity - wherever you are and whatever season you’re in.


Key Discussion Points

  • What wintering actually means beyond social media and wellness trends
  • How energy naturally shifts with seasons, light, and life stages
  • The contrast between winter in the UK and summer in Australia — and how both come with different challenges
  • Why pushing through tiredness often creates more resistance and burnout
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) vs. milder winter mood shifts
  • The pressure to stay productive year-round — and why it doesn’t work


Listener Takeaways

  • Your energy isn’t meant to be flat or consistent all year round
  • Feeling slower in winter isn’t laziness - it’s biology
  • Wintering isn’t about stopping or opting out of life
  • Rest, slower mornings, and lowered expectations can restore energy for what actually matters
  • Different seasons place different demands on us - and that’s okay
  • Growth sometimes looks like acceptance, not effort


Join the Conversation

What season are you in right now - physically, emotionally, or energetically?

What might shift if you stopped forcing yourself to keep the same pace and listened more closely to what your body is asking for?

We’d love to hear from you.

You can email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com or send us a DM



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this episode, we explore the idea of wintering - not as a trend or aesthetic, but as a very real biological and emotional experience.

Recording from opposite sides of the world - one of us in a UK winter, the other in an Australian summer - we reflect on how seasons, light, energy, and life demands shape the way we feel, move, and cope. We talk about slowing down without guilt, listening to the body instead of forcing productivity, and what happens when winter stops being something to “survive” and becomes something we learn to work with.

This conversation is about acceptance, recalibration, and honouring capacity - wherever you are and whatever season you’re in.


Key Discussion Points

  • What wintering actually means beyond social media and wellness trends
  • How energy naturally shifts with seasons, light, and life stages
  • The contrast between winter in the UK and summer in Australia — and how both come with different challenges
  • Why pushing through tiredness often creates more resistance and burnout
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) vs. milder winter mood shifts
  • The pressure to stay productive year-round — and why it doesn’t work


Listener Takeaways

  • Your energy isn’t meant to be flat or consistent all year round
  • Feeling slower in winter isn’t laziness - it’s biology
  • Wintering isn’t about stopping or opting out of life
  • Rest, slower mornings, and lowered expectations can restore energy for what actually matters
  • Different seasons place different demands on us - and that’s okay
  • Growth sometimes looks like acceptance, not effort


Join the Conversation

What season are you in right now - physically, emotionally, or energetically?

What might shift if you stopped forcing yourself to keep the same pace and listened more closely to what your body is asking for?

We’d love to hear from you.

You can email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com or send us a DM



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-18600377 Wed, 04 Feb 2026 06:00:00 +0000 1370 2 15 full false Heartbreak and Self-Worth: Who Are You When the Relationship Ends? Heartbreak and Self-Worth: Who Are You When the Relationship Ends? Episode Overview

When a relationship ends, it can feel completely disorientating - like the ground has shifted beneath you and nothing quite makes sense anymore. In this episode, we talk honestly about heartbreak, obsession, rejection, and the deep vulnerability that comes with losing not just a partner, but a version of yourself.

Drawing on our own experiences of breakups across different stages of life, we explore why the pain feels so consuming, how self-worth often gets tangled up in rejection, and why healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. This is a conversation for anyone in the thick of it - or anyone who still carries echoes of past heartbreak.

Key Discussion Points

  • The obsession phase: rumination, analysing everything, and chasing connection
  • How low self-worth amplifies the pain of rejection
  • The three-month mark: noticing when the fog starts to lift
  • Why laughing again can feel wrong - and why it’s actually a sign of healing
  • The pull to reach out for dopamine and familiarity (even when you know better)
  • Why heartbreak isn’t weakness - it’s proof you can love deeply

Listener Takeaways

  • Feeling broken after a breakup doesn’t mean you’re weak - it means you cared
  • The pain won’t last forever, even if it feels endless right now
  • A relationship ending doesn’t take your worth away - it asks you to find it within yourself
  • Healing happens quietly, often without you noticing at first
  • Awareness, not regret, is what allows real growth
  • One day you’ll wake up and realise they weren’t the first thought in your mind — and that’s the beginning of coming back to yourself

Join the Conversation

If you've been through a break up or know someone who has, please feel free to get in touch and let us know your thoughts. 

Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon, available for the price of a coffee each month. We’d love to see you there.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

When a relationship ends, it can feel completely disorientating - like the ground has shifted beneath you and nothing quite makes sense anymore. In this episode, we talk honestly about heartbreak, obsession, rejection, and the deep vulnerability that comes with losing not just a partner, but a version of yourself.

Drawing on our own experiences of breakups across different stages of life, we explore why the pain feels so consuming, how self-worth often gets tangled up in rejection, and why healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. This is a conversation for anyone in the thick of it - or anyone who still carries echoes of past heartbreak.

Key Discussion Points

  • The obsession phase: rumination, analysing everything, and chasing connection
  • How low self-worth amplifies the pain of rejection
  • The three-month mark: noticing when the fog starts to lift
  • Why laughing again can feel wrong - and why it’s actually a sign of healing
  • The pull to reach out for dopamine and familiarity (even when you know better)
  • Why heartbreak isn’t weakness - it’s proof you can love deeply

Listener Takeaways

  • Feeling broken after a breakup doesn’t mean you’re weak - it means you cared
  • The pain won’t last forever, even if it feels endless right now
  • A relationship ending doesn’t take your worth away - it asks you to find it within yourself
  • Healing happens quietly, often without you noticing at first
  • Awareness, not regret, is what allows real growth
  • One day you’ll wake up and realise they weren’t the first thought in your mind — and that’s the beginning of coming back to yourself

Join the Conversation

If you've been through a break up or know someone who has, please feel free to get in touch and let us know your thoughts. 

Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon, available for the price of a coffee each month. We’d love to see you there.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-18570386 Wed, 28 Jan 2026 06:00:00 +0000 1044 2 14 full false Trying To Figure It Out: Identity, Self-Worth, and the “Voice” We Lose Trying To Figure It Out: Identity, Self-Worth, and the “Voice” We Lose Episode overview

A line from Jon Bon Jovi that genuinely stopped Aileen in her tracks: “We’re all just here trying to figure it out.” Coming from someone who looks like he’s “made it”, it lands differently - like an equaliser and a hand on your shoulder.

This one is about humility, rebuilding, and the midlife unravel - the kind that can feel frightening… but might actually be the start of coming home to yourself.


Key discussion points

  • The line that hit hard: “We’re all just here trying to figure it out” - why it feels more powerful coming from someone we assume has it all sorted.
  • Identity vs performance: the idea that what you do isn’t who you are - and why that’s a self-worth conversation, not just a career one.
  • Why we all panic when something shifts: kids growing up, relationships changing, careers wobbling, hormones doing their thing — and suddenly asking: If I’m not doing that… who am I?
  • Losing your voice as a metaphor: not physically - emotionally. Years of being silenced, managing everyone else’s emotions, walking on eggshells, and having to rebuild your voice “brick by brick”.
  • A softer, truer kind of success: chasing dreams from alignment, not pressure - and remembering it’s never “too late” to change direction.

Listener takeaways

  • You are not your role. Not your job title. Not your productivity. Not your “usefulness”.
  • Losing your voice doesn’t mean you’re lost. It might be the start of finding the real one.
  • Humility is strength. Real confidence isn’t loud - it’s honest.
  • Dreams don’t expire. There’s always a new phase, and you can still begin again at 40, 50, 60 - but from alignment, not pressure.
  • You don’t need a five-year plan to be okay. You don’t need to be polished to be worthy.

Join the conversation

If you’re in a season where things feel uncertain - where you’re rethinking who you are, or what your life is becoming - you’re not alone.

A question to sit with:
 When you strip away what you do… what’s still true about who you are?

And if this episode made you exhale a little, share it with someone who might need that same hand-on-the-shoulder feeling.

One more thing, our Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon (for the price of a cup of coffee each month). If you want a little extra support in your ears, come and join us there.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode overview

A line from Jon Bon Jovi that genuinely stopped Aileen in her tracks: “We’re all just here trying to figure it out.” Coming from someone who looks like he’s “made it”, it lands differently - like an equaliser and a hand on your shoulder.

This one is about humility, rebuilding, and the midlife unravel - the kind that can feel frightening… but might actually be the start of coming home to yourself.


Key discussion points

  • The line that hit hard: “We’re all just here trying to figure it out” - why it feels more powerful coming from someone we assume has it all sorted.
  • Identity vs performance: the idea that what you do isn’t who you are - and why that’s a self-worth conversation, not just a career one.
  • Why we all panic when something shifts: kids growing up, relationships changing, careers wobbling, hormones doing their thing — and suddenly asking: If I’m not doing that… who am I?
  • Losing your voice as a metaphor: not physically - emotionally. Years of being silenced, managing everyone else’s emotions, walking on eggshells, and having to rebuild your voice “brick by brick”.
  • A softer, truer kind of success: chasing dreams from alignment, not pressure - and remembering it’s never “too late” to change direction.

Listener takeaways

  • You are not your role. Not your job title. Not your productivity. Not your “usefulness”.
  • Losing your voice doesn’t mean you’re lost. It might be the start of finding the real one.
  • Humility is strength. Real confidence isn’t loud - it’s honest.
  • Dreams don’t expire. There’s always a new phase, and you can still begin again at 40, 50, 60 - but from alignment, not pressure.
  • You don’t need a five-year plan to be okay. You don’t need to be polished to be worthy.

Join the conversation

If you’re in a season where things feel uncertain - where you’re rethinking who you are, or what your life is becoming - you’re not alone.

A question to sit with:
 When you strip away what you do… what’s still true about who you are?

And if this episode made you exhale a little, share it with someone who might need that same hand-on-the-shoulder feeling.

One more thing, our Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon (for the price of a cup of coffee each month). If you want a little extra support in your ears, come and join us there.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-18532306 Wed, 21 Jan 2026 06:00:00 +0000 1197 2 13 full false Boundaries Vs Belonging : When Self-Worth Shapes Our Relationships Boundaries Vs Belonging : When Self-Worth Shapes Our Relationships Episode Overview
In this episode, we explore a tension many of us feel deeply — the pull between wanting space and craving connection. When does protecting our peace start to feel like shutting people out? And why can setting boundaries trigger so much guilt, fear, or worry about losing belonging?

We reflect on how our early conditioning shapes the way we relate, why many of us learned that belonging meant being agreeable, and how self-worth plays a crucial role in whether boundaries feel safe or threatening. This is a conversation about unlearning, reclaiming energy, and redefining what real belonging actually looks like in this season of life.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why the desire to belong is deeply human - even for those who value independence
  • How many of us were taught that belonging meant being easy, polite, and agreeable
  • The link between self-worth and boundary-setting
  • How carrying emotional labour can look like strength but quietly erodes self-worth
  • The difference between fitting in and true belonging, inspired by Brené Brown


Listener Takeaways

  • Boundaries aren’t rejection - they’re redirection
  • Saying no is not unkind; it’s a way of valuing yourself
  • Belonging that requires self-abandonment isn’t belonging at all
  • When self-worth dips, boundaries often soften — noticing this is powerful
  • You don’t need to earn your place; you already belong


Join the Conversation

We love hearing from you. Do you struggle more with setting boundaries, or with the fear of losing belonging when you do?
 Leave us a voicemail or send us a DM - your reflections may be shared in a future episode.

And if this conversation resonated, consider sharing it with someone who needs the reminder that protecting their peace doesn’t make them selfish - it makes them grounded.

Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon, available for the price of a coffee each month. We’d love to see you there.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this episode, we explore a tension many of us feel deeply — the pull between wanting space and craving connection. When does protecting our peace start to feel like shutting people out? And why can setting boundaries trigger so much guilt, fear, or worry about losing belonging?

We reflect on how our early conditioning shapes the way we relate, why many of us learned that belonging meant being agreeable, and how self-worth plays a crucial role in whether boundaries feel safe or threatening. This is a conversation about unlearning, reclaiming energy, and redefining what real belonging actually looks like in this season of life.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why the desire to belong is deeply human - even for those who value independence
  • How many of us were taught that belonging meant being easy, polite, and agreeable
  • The link between self-worth and boundary-setting
  • How carrying emotional labour can look like strength but quietly erodes self-worth
  • The difference between fitting in and true belonging, inspired by Brené Brown


Listener Takeaways

  • Boundaries aren’t rejection - they’re redirection
  • Saying no is not unkind; it’s a way of valuing yourself
  • Belonging that requires self-abandonment isn’t belonging at all
  • When self-worth dips, boundaries often soften — noticing this is powerful
  • You don’t need to earn your place; you already belong


Join the Conversation

We love hearing from you. Do you struggle more with setting boundaries, or with the fear of losing belonging when you do?
 Leave us a voicemail or send us a DM - your reflections may be shared in a future episode.

And if this conversation resonated, consider sharing it with someone who needs the reminder that protecting their peace doesn’t make them selfish - it makes them grounded.

Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon, available for the price of a coffee each month. We’d love to see you there.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-18500261 Wed, 14 Jan 2026 06:00:00 +0000 1106 2 12 full false Playing it Small: Why We Dim Ourselves (And How To Stop) Playing it Small: Why We Dim Ourselves (And How To Stop) Episode overview
In this episode, we unpack why so many of us learn to play it small — not because we lack confidence or ambition, but because at some point it felt safer to do so. Following the huge response to our Don’t Hide Your Shine sanity check, we explore how hiding your shine shows up in everyday life, where it comes from, and why it’s so closely tied to self-worth.
We talk about school, family systems, culture, gendered expectations, and nervous-system protection — and how, over time, shrinking ourselves can leave us feeling muted, disconnected, and far from who we really are. We also share how to begin reclaiming those hidden parts of yourself in small, human ways, without feeling like you’re showing off or abandoning the people around you.


Key discussion points

  • What we really mean by “shine” - and why it’s not about ego or attention
  • The subtle ways we reduce ourselves: downplaying achievements, staying quiet, deflecting praise, shrinking joy
  • Tall poppy syndrome, school dynamics, and early lessons about standing out
  • Family systems and why keeping the peace can mean keeping yourself small
  • How women are given constant mixed messages: confident but not too confident, ambitious but not selfish
  • Why dimming yourself becomes automatic - and how it disconnects you from who you are
  • The discomfort (and grief) that can come with letting yourself be seen again


Listener takeaways

  • Playing it small is rarely a choice - it’s usually learned protection
  • Your shine isn’t arrogance; it’s aliveness
  • Humility and self-worth can exist together
  • Start with noticing when you automatically shrink or brush yourself off
  • Practise receiving - even two seconds can make a difference
  • Let yourself take up a little more space than you did yesterday
  • You don’t need to be palatable to everyone to be worthy


If this episode resonated and you recognised a place where you’ve been dimming yourself, we’d love to hear from you. Send us a DM or leave us a voicemail - your stories matter.
 And for more on this theme, head over to Patreon for this week’s sanity check (link in the show notes).



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode overview
In this episode, we unpack why so many of us learn to play it small — not because we lack confidence or ambition, but because at some point it felt safer to do so. Following the huge response to our Don’t Hide Your Shine sanity check, we explore how hiding your shine shows up in everyday life, where it comes from, and why it’s so closely tied to self-worth.
We talk about school, family systems, culture, gendered expectations, and nervous-system protection — and how, over time, shrinking ourselves can leave us feeling muted, disconnected, and far from who we really are. We also share how to begin reclaiming those hidden parts of yourself in small, human ways, without feeling like you’re showing off or abandoning the people around you.


Key discussion points

  • What we really mean by “shine” - and why it’s not about ego or attention
  • The subtle ways we reduce ourselves: downplaying achievements, staying quiet, deflecting praise, shrinking joy
  • Tall poppy syndrome, school dynamics, and early lessons about standing out
  • Family systems and why keeping the peace can mean keeping yourself small
  • How women are given constant mixed messages: confident but not too confident, ambitious but not selfish
  • Why dimming yourself becomes automatic - and how it disconnects you from who you are
  • The discomfort (and grief) that can come with letting yourself be seen again


Listener takeaways

  • Playing it small is rarely a choice - it’s usually learned protection
  • Your shine isn’t arrogance; it’s aliveness
  • Humility and self-worth can exist together
  • Start with noticing when you automatically shrink or brush yourself off
  • Practise receiving - even two seconds can make a difference
  • Let yourself take up a little more space than you did yesterday
  • You don’t need to be palatable to everyone to be worthy


If this episode resonated and you recognised a place where you’ve been dimming yourself, we’d love to hear from you. Send us a DM or leave us a voicemail - your stories matter.
 And for more on this theme, head over to Patreon for this week’s sanity check (link in the show notes).



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-18464324 Wed, 07 Jan 2026 06:00:00 +0000 1472 2 11 full false You Don't Need A New You You Don't Need A New You Episode Overview
New Year’s Eve often sits in a strange in-between space - part reflection, part expectation. In this conversation, we gently unpack why this moment can feel heavy with pressure, and how New Year’s resolutions so often become another way we tell ourselves we’re not enough yet.

We talk honestly about where resolutions really come from, how self-worth gets tangled up in performance and productivity, and why so many of us end up feeling guilty by February. From bin-bag workouts in Glasgow to chilli powder water confessions, we share the ridiculous (and revealing) things we’ve done in the name of “self-improvement”.

This episode is an invitation to pause, soften, and question the story underneath the goal - and to consider a different way of entering a new year that’s rooted in compassion rather than self-rejection.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why New Year’s Eve holds both hope and pressure - and why that collective expectation can feel so heavy
  • The hidden message behind most resolutions: be thinner, richer, better, more disciplined
  • How self-improvement often masks self-rejection
  • The role of comparison, social media, vision boards and five-year plans
  • The link between habits, emotion, and soothing unmet needs
  • Why change takes repetition, not revolution (and what the research really shows)
  • Shifting from striving to self-acceptance


Listener Takeaways

  • You can’t hate yourself into lasting change
  • Most resolutions fail because they’re rooted in lack, not love
  • Real change happens when behaviour shifts after the story underneath is understood
  • Small, kind habits are more powerful than dramatic overhauls
  • Progress isn’t linear - and it doesn’t need a January start date
  • You don’t need a new version of yourself to begin again
  • The version of you here right now is already resilient, capable, and enough

Join the Conversation

As this year turns over, we’d love to know:
What are you ready to stop postponing?
What would it look like to enter this year with curiosity instead of pressure?

You can share your thoughts with us over on Instagram or send us a message - we read them all, and this community guides every conversation we have.

However you’re spending New Year’s Eve, we’re glad you’re here.
Here’s to soft changes, small beginnings, and remembering who you already are.




Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
New Year’s Eve often sits in a strange in-between space - part reflection, part expectation. In this conversation, we gently unpack why this moment can feel heavy with pressure, and how New Year’s resolutions so often become another way we tell ourselves we’re not enough yet.

We talk honestly about where resolutions really come from, how self-worth gets tangled up in performance and productivity, and why so many of us end up feeling guilty by February. From bin-bag workouts in Glasgow to chilli powder water confessions, we share the ridiculous (and revealing) things we’ve done in the name of “self-improvement”.

This episode is an invitation to pause, soften, and question the story underneath the goal - and to consider a different way of entering a new year that’s rooted in compassion rather than self-rejection.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why New Year’s Eve holds both hope and pressure - and why that collective expectation can feel so heavy
  • The hidden message behind most resolutions: be thinner, richer, better, more disciplined
  • How self-improvement often masks self-rejection
  • The role of comparison, social media, vision boards and five-year plans
  • The link between habits, emotion, and soothing unmet needs
  • Why change takes repetition, not revolution (and what the research really shows)
  • Shifting from striving to self-acceptance


Listener Takeaways

  • You can’t hate yourself into lasting change
  • Most resolutions fail because they’re rooted in lack, not love
  • Real change happens when behaviour shifts after the story underneath is understood
  • Small, kind habits are more powerful than dramatic overhauls
  • Progress isn’t linear - and it doesn’t need a January start date
  • You don’t need a new version of yourself to begin again
  • The version of you here right now is already resilient, capable, and enough

Join the Conversation

As this year turns over, we’d love to know:
What are you ready to stop postponing?
What would it look like to enter this year with curiosity instead of pressure?

You can share your thoughts with us over on Instagram or send us a message - we read them all, and this community guides every conversation we have.

However you’re spending New Year’s Eve, we’re glad you’re here.
Here’s to soft changes, small beginnings, and remembering who you already are.




Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-18425647 Wed, 31 Dec 2025 06:00:00 +0000 1009 2 10 full false Connection at Christmas: It Isn't About The Table Connection at Christmas: It Isn't About The Table
Episode Overview
It’s Christmas Eve, and today we’re sitting with one word that has shown up again and again this year: connection.
Not the glossy, picture-perfect kind we see in adverts, but the quiet, truthful kind that grounds us - especially when the season feels full, loud, or lonely.

In this short episode, we explore why connection becomes harder to access at the very moment we need it most, and how presence - with ourselves and with others - can bring us back to what matters.


Key Discussion Points

  • The gap between expectation and reality at Christmas — and why it can feel so emotional.
  • Loneliness statistics in Australia and the UK that reveal how many people struggle at this time of year.
  • Why real connection starts with being present with yourself, even when your feelings are uncomfortable.
  • The role of vulnerability in meaningful relationships - and how dropping the performance opens the door to genuine closeness.
  • How to feel connected even if you’re spending Christmas alone.


Listener Takeaways

  • Connection isn’t about the size of your table - it’s about the honesty you bring to it.
  • You’re allowed to acknowledge sadness, overwhelm, or loneliness at Christmas. Naming it is part of connection too.
  • Presence is the most meaningful gift you can offer, whether to yourself or someone you love.
  • You are worthy of connection exactly as you are - no performance required.
  • The small, human moments often matter far more than the carefully orchestrated ones.


Join the Conversation

How are you feeling heading into Christmas this year?
Is there someone you want to reconnect with - including yourself?
Send us a DM or voicemail. We’d love to hear what this season brings up for you.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]>
Episode Overview
It’s Christmas Eve, and today we’re sitting with one word that has shown up again and again this year: connection.
Not the glossy, picture-perfect kind we see in adverts, but the quiet, truthful kind that grounds us - especially when the season feels full, loud, or lonely.

In this short episode, we explore why connection becomes harder to access at the very moment we need it most, and how presence - with ourselves and with others - can bring us back to what matters.


Key Discussion Points

  • The gap between expectation and reality at Christmas — and why it can feel so emotional.
  • Loneliness statistics in Australia and the UK that reveal how many people struggle at this time of year.
  • Why real connection starts with being present with yourself, even when your feelings are uncomfortable.
  • The role of vulnerability in meaningful relationships - and how dropping the performance opens the door to genuine closeness.
  • How to feel connected even if you’re spending Christmas alone.


Listener Takeaways

  • Connection isn’t about the size of your table - it’s about the honesty you bring to it.
  • You’re allowed to acknowledge sadness, overwhelm, or loneliness at Christmas. Naming it is part of connection too.
  • Presence is the most meaningful gift you can offer, whether to yourself or someone you love.
  • You are worthy of connection exactly as you are - no performance required.
  • The small, human moments often matter far more than the carefully orchestrated ones.


Join the Conversation

How are you feeling heading into Christmas this year?
Is there someone you want to reconnect with - including yourself?
Send us a DM or voicemail. We’d love to hear what this season brings up for you.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-18393827 Wed, 24 Dec 2025 06:00:00 +0000 632 2 9 full false Sitting with the Shift: We’ll Know Them Longer as Adults Than as Children Sitting with the Shift: We’ll Know Them Longer as Adults Than as Children Episode overview

In this episode, we pause on one simple line that stopped us in our tracks:
“We’ll know our children as adults far longer than we’ll know them as children.”

We take a trip down memory lane talk about how quickly the “little years” pass, why those toddler days feel so vivid, and what it’s like to suddenly realise we’re parenting almost-adults. From Peppa Pig pyjamas and Iggle Piggle shows to mascara, moods and slammed doors, we look at how our kids have changed – and how we have too.

If you’re feeling that quiet ache of “when did they grow up?”, this one is for you.


Key discussion points

  • The moment that quote landed and why it brought up such a wave of emotion.
  • Remembering the early years: buggies, board-on-the-pram days, Lapland trips, tiny hands and mispronounced words.
  • How phones, constant entertainment and “never being bored” might be changing our kids’ sense of time.
  • The identity shift for mums when we’re no longer needed every second and the house gets quieter.
  • Grief and gratitude in the same breath – noticing that every stage feels like the hardest and the best, and every stage ends.


Listener takeaways

  • You’re not imagining it – childhood really is a tiny window of time, and it’s normal to feel emotional when you notice it closing.
  • It’s okay to miss the toddler years and still be utterly exhausted by them while you were in them.
  • Presence matters more than perfection: your kids will remember how it felt to be with you more than the schedule, the craft, or the trip.
  • This in-between age is confusing for them and for us – they want independence and reassurance at the same time, and so do we.
  • One simple practice: notice one everyday moment today – the eye roll, the shared joke, the “mum, what’s for dinner?” – and mentally bookmark it as a memory you’ll miss one day.


Join the conversation

If this episode touched that tender place of “they’re growing up so fast”, we’d love to hear from you.

Come and share a favourite toddler memory, or what this teenage season feels like for you right now. Send us a DM or voice note on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod

Join us over on Patreon for this week’s Sanity Check and more honest chats about motherhood, identity and this season of life shifts.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode overview

In this episode, we pause on one simple line that stopped us in our tracks:
“We’ll know our children as adults far longer than we’ll know them as children.”

We take a trip down memory lane talk about how quickly the “little years” pass, why those toddler days feel so vivid, and what it’s like to suddenly realise we’re parenting almost-adults. From Peppa Pig pyjamas and Iggle Piggle shows to mascara, moods and slammed doors, we look at how our kids have changed – and how we have too.

If you’re feeling that quiet ache of “when did they grow up?”, this one is for you.


Key discussion points

  • The moment that quote landed and why it brought up such a wave of emotion.
  • Remembering the early years: buggies, board-on-the-pram days, Lapland trips, tiny hands and mispronounced words.
  • How phones, constant entertainment and “never being bored” might be changing our kids’ sense of time.
  • The identity shift for mums when we’re no longer needed every second and the house gets quieter.
  • Grief and gratitude in the same breath – noticing that every stage feels like the hardest and the best, and every stage ends.


Listener takeaways

  • You’re not imagining it – childhood really is a tiny window of time, and it’s normal to feel emotional when you notice it closing.
  • It’s okay to miss the toddler years and still be utterly exhausted by them while you were in them.
  • Presence matters more than perfection: your kids will remember how it felt to be with you more than the schedule, the craft, or the trip.
  • This in-between age is confusing for them and for us – they want independence and reassurance at the same time, and so do we.
  • One simple practice: notice one everyday moment today – the eye roll, the shared joke, the “mum, what’s for dinner?” – and mentally bookmark it as a memory you’ll miss one day.


Join the conversation

If this episode touched that tender place of “they’re growing up so fast”, we’d love to hear from you.

Come and share a favourite toddler memory, or what this teenage season feels like for you right now. Send us a DM or voice note on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod

Join us over on Patreon for this week’s Sanity Check and more honest chats about motherhood, identity and this season of life shifts.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-18354866 Wed, 17 Dec 2025 06:00:00 +0000 1198 2 8 full false Quiet Doesn’t Mean Weak: Redefining Strength, Self-Worth & Self-Confidence Quiet Doesn’t Mean Weak: Redefining Strength, Self-Worth & Self-Confidence Episode overview
In this episode, we explore a sneaky belief many of us absorbed young: that the loudest person in the room is the strongest one - and that being quieter, reflective or sensitive somehow makes you weaker.

We talk about loudness as a shield, teenage friendship dynamics, being labelled “weak” for not being the loud one, and how that seeps into adult life - careers, friendships, parenting and the way we judge women who live differently. 

Quiet strength, we’ve realised, often doesn’t get the spotlight… but it might be the most powerful kind.


Key discussion points

  • Jamie Kern Lima’s story: building IT Cosmetics, selling to L’Oréal, and still feeling unworthy inside.
  • The crucial difference between self-confidence (what you can do) and self-worth (who you believe you are).
  • The teenage playground dynamic: loud, attention-grabbing girls seen as “strong” and quieter ones labelled “weak”.
  • How these teen patterns spill into adulthood: friendship politics, social dominance, and how others read our strength.
  • “You fall to what you believe you’re worthy of”: how low worth can lead to unhealthy relationships and choices.
  • Why quieter personalities often have higher emotional intelligence, empathy and self-awareness - and why that is strength.

Listener takeaways

  • Quiet doesn’t equal weak. Loud doesn’t automatically equal strong. 
  • Self-confidence and self-worth are different. You can be brilliant, capable and “together” on the outside and still feel not enough inside. 
  • If your identity rises and falls with achievements, income, roles or how “busy” you are, it might be a sign your self-worth is asking for attention.
  • Gentleness can be powerful. You don’t have to shout to be heard. Presence, consistency, kindness and reflection are all forms of quiet strength
  • As parents and caregivers, we’re modelling what strength looks like. Showing boundaries, self-respect and calm courage gives our kids a very different map than “loudest wins”.
  • The small, unseen choices - saying no, changing direction, choosing rest, ending a draining friendship - are often the truest expressions of self-worth.

Join the conversation

If you can relate to this, share your story with us - leave a voice note or send us a message on Instagram at @youkeepmesane.pod. If this episode resonated, please pass it on to someone who might need the reminder that quiet isn’t weak and loud isn’t always strong.

And if you’d like extra support, reflections and mini deep-dives each week, join us over on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - all for about the price of a coffee a month. 



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode overview
In this episode, we explore a sneaky belief many of us absorbed young: that the loudest person in the room is the strongest one - and that being quieter, reflective or sensitive somehow makes you weaker.

We talk about loudness as a shield, teenage friendship dynamics, being labelled “weak” for not being the loud one, and how that seeps into adult life - careers, friendships, parenting and the way we judge women who live differently. 

Quiet strength, we’ve realised, often doesn’t get the spotlight… but it might be the most powerful kind.


Key discussion points

  • Jamie Kern Lima’s story: building IT Cosmetics, selling to L’Oréal, and still feeling unworthy inside.
  • The crucial difference between self-confidence (what you can do) and self-worth (who you believe you are).
  • The teenage playground dynamic: loud, attention-grabbing girls seen as “strong” and quieter ones labelled “weak”.
  • How these teen patterns spill into adulthood: friendship politics, social dominance, and how others read our strength.
  • “You fall to what you believe you’re worthy of”: how low worth can lead to unhealthy relationships and choices.
  • Why quieter personalities often have higher emotional intelligence, empathy and self-awareness - and why that is strength.

Listener takeaways

  • Quiet doesn’t equal weak. Loud doesn’t automatically equal strong. 
  • Self-confidence and self-worth are different. You can be brilliant, capable and “together” on the outside and still feel not enough inside. 
  • If your identity rises and falls with achievements, income, roles or how “busy” you are, it might be a sign your self-worth is asking for attention.
  • Gentleness can be powerful. You don’t have to shout to be heard. Presence, consistency, kindness and reflection are all forms of quiet strength
  • As parents and caregivers, we’re modelling what strength looks like. Showing boundaries, self-respect and calm courage gives our kids a very different map than “loudest wins”.
  • The small, unseen choices - saying no, changing direction, choosing rest, ending a draining friendship - are often the truest expressions of self-worth.

Join the conversation

If you can relate to this, share your story with us - leave a voice note or send us a message on Instagram at @youkeepmesane.pod. If this episode resonated, please pass it on to someone who might need the reminder that quiet isn’t weak and loud isn’t always strong.

And if you’d like extra support, reflections and mini deep-dives each week, join us over on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - all for about the price of a coffee a month. 



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-18316679 Wed, 10 Dec 2025 06:00:00 +0000 1269 2 7 full false From Small To Seen : Owning Your Worth From Small To Seen : Owning Your Worth Episode Overview

This week we’re joined by Monica Maldonado - the voice behind @thepowerofgoodenough - for a raw, hopeful conversation about how low self-worth can quietly shape our lives even when we’ve had a “stable” upbringing. Monica shares how being the youngest of four, people-pleasing, and staying “small” became an identity she had to unlearn in adulthood. We talk about awakening moments, inner-child work, nervous-system safety, micro-actions, and the difference between healing and transformation. If you’ve ever felt “average,” invisible, or only worthy when you perform — this one’s for you.

Key Discussion Points

  • “Stable” childhoods & invisible wounds: Why invalidation and family roles (youngest/eldest, capable/quiet) can wire worth externally.
  • Not-enoughness as identity: How staying small becomes comfortable - and why leaving it feels terrifying (and courageous).
  • Awakening → healing → transformation: The stages Monica noticed, and why many of us get stuck healing but never acting.
  • Inner-child work that actually helps: Re-parenting with compassion, giving yourself the words you never heard.
  • Boundaries as self-respect (not punishment): Standards you set for you, not rules to control others.
  • Generation-breaking: Modeling unconditional worth for our kids while we’re still rewriting our own scripts.
  • Why Monica’s message resonates now: Women naming burnout, rejecting perfection, and refusing to shrink anymore.


Listener Takeaways

  • Your worth is inherent. Move from “I’m worthy only when…” to “I’m worthy even when…”.
  • Name the pattern. Ask: Where am I still performing small to stay safe/liked?
  • Regulate, then act. A regulated body makes brave conversations possible.
  • Practice micro-courage daily. One tiny ask, no apology attached. Repeat.
  • Boundaries raise your

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

This week we’re joined by Monica Maldonado - the voice behind @thepowerofgoodenough - for a raw, hopeful conversation about how low self-worth can quietly shape our lives even when we’ve had a “stable” upbringing. Monica shares how being the youngest of four, people-pleasing, and staying “small” became an identity she had to unlearn in adulthood. We talk about awakening moments, inner-child work, nervous-system safety, micro-actions, and the difference between healing and transformation. If you’ve ever felt “average,” invisible, or only worthy when you perform — this one’s for you.

Key Discussion Points

  • “Stable” childhoods & invisible wounds: Why invalidation and family roles (youngest/eldest, capable/quiet) can wire worth externally.
  • Not-enoughness as identity: How staying small becomes comfortable - and why leaving it feels terrifying (and courageous).
  • Awakening → healing → transformation: The stages Monica noticed, and why many of us get stuck healing but never acting.
  • Inner-child work that actually helps: Re-parenting with compassion, giving yourself the words you never heard.
  • Boundaries as self-respect (not punishment): Standards you set for you, not rules to control others.
  • Generation-breaking: Modeling unconditional worth for our kids while we’re still rewriting our own scripts.
  • Why Monica’s message resonates now: Women naming burnout, rejecting perfection, and refusing to shrink anymore.


Listener Takeaways

  • Your worth is inherent. Move from “I’m worthy only when…” to “I’m worthy even when…”.
  • Name the pattern. Ask: Where am I still performing small to stay safe/liked?
  • Regulate, then act. A regulated body makes brave conversations possible.
  • Practice micro-courage daily. One tiny ask, no apology attached. Repeat.
  • Boundaries raise your

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-18279569 Wed, 03 Dec 2025 06:00:00 +0000 2622 2 6 full false Always On: Reclaiming Your Attention in a World That Never Sleeps Always On: Reclaiming Your Attention in a World That Never Sleeps Episode Overview

We talk about the “always on” culture - phones, pings, and pressure to reply instantly - and how it hijacks presence, deep focus, and self-worth. From family group chats and school apps to work Slack and late-night DMs, we explore why constant accessibility feels normal (and even “kind”), how it fuels anxiety and perfectionism, and simple, compassionate boundaries that let you choose when you’re available. The goal isn’t a digital detox; it’s digital boundaries - so you can be in your life, not just in your inbox.

Key Discussion Points

  • The speed of living: Instant everything (messages, info, shopping, streaming) creates a false “high capacity” expectation - and a nervous system on edge
  • Responsiveness ≠ reliability: We unpack why replying fast has been confused with being caring, competent, or “on it.”
  • Home + work spillover: From school apps to after-hours Slack—why the lack of pause multiplies the mental load.
  • Kids, teens, and phones: Read receipts, comparison, and the pressure to respond—how we’re coaching our kids (and ourselves).
  • Addiction loops: The comfort of holding the phone, the “just one more app” cycle, and how partial attention keeps us revved.
  • Research we reference: Constant interruptions erode focus and increase anxiety; it takes real time to refocus after a ping.


Listener Takeaways

  • You don’t owe anyone constant access. Your worth isn’t measured in response times.
  • Pause beats panic. Waiting to reply often leads to calmer, kinder, clearer responses.
  • Make one small boundary today: 10–15 phone-free minutes (or an hour if you can). Notice the twitch, boredom, or urge—beneath it is calm.
  • Say it out loud: “No rush to reply.” Model it and people mirror it.
  • Choose your pockets of presence: After breakfast before checking, or phone charging in the kitchen at night.
  • Remember: Reliability is showing up when it matters, not being instantly available.


Join the Conversation

Tell us your favourite digital boundary. Do you have phone-free time? Do read receipts stress you out? Feel free DM us on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod, or leave us a voicemail - we may feature your thoughts in a future episode.





Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

We talk about the “always on” culture - phones, pings, and pressure to reply instantly - and how it hijacks presence, deep focus, and self-worth. From family group chats and school apps to work Slack and late-night DMs, we explore why constant accessibility feels normal (and even “kind”), how it fuels anxiety and perfectionism, and simple, compassionate boundaries that let you choose when you’re available. The goal isn’t a digital detox; it’s digital boundaries - so you can be in your life, not just in your inbox.

Key Discussion Points

  • The speed of living: Instant everything (messages, info, shopping, streaming) creates a false “high capacity” expectation - and a nervous system on edge
  • Responsiveness ≠ reliability: We unpack why replying fast has been confused with being caring, competent, or “on it.”
  • Home + work spillover: From school apps to after-hours Slack—why the lack of pause multiplies the mental load.
  • Kids, teens, and phones: Read receipts, comparison, and the pressure to respond—how we’re coaching our kids (and ourselves).
  • Addiction loops: The comfort of holding the phone, the “just one more app” cycle, and how partial attention keeps us revved.
  • Research we reference: Constant interruptions erode focus and increase anxiety; it takes real time to refocus after a ping.


Listener Takeaways

  • You don’t owe anyone constant access. Your worth isn’t measured in response times.
  • Pause beats panic. Waiting to reply often leads to calmer, kinder, clearer responses.
  • Make one small boundary today: 10–15 phone-free minutes (or an hour if you can). Notice the twitch, boredom, or urge—beneath it is calm.
  • Say it out loud: “No rush to reply.” Model it and people mirror it.
  • Choose your pockets of presence: After breakfast before checking, or phone charging in the kitchen at night.
  • Remember: Reliability is showing up when it matters, not being instantly available.


Join the Conversation

Tell us your favourite digital boundary. Do you have phone-free time? Do read receipts stress you out? Feel free DM us on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod, or leave us a voicemail - we may feature your thoughts in a future episode.





Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-18242347 Wed, 26 Nov 2025 06:00:00 +0000 1856 2 5 full false Emotional Vampires: When Caring Becomes Carrying Emotional Vampires: When Caring Becomes Carrying Episode Overview
We dive into that sticky space between empathy and exhaustion—the moment a caring friend becomes the “emotional sponge” (hello, emotional vampires 👀). We talk about invisible emotional labour, midlife capacity, Catholic/learned guilt, and why stepping back isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect. We share how chronic one-way “offloading” keeps both people stuck, and how gentle, clear boundaries help everyone grow.


Key Discussion Points

  • Monologue vs. conversation: the red flag of constant offloading with no pause, curiosity, or reciprocity
  • Invisible labour is real: the listener/soother role is invaluable - and often unseen.
  • Self-worth & caregiving: when your value is tied to being “the strong one,” pulling back can trigger guilt
  • Outsourcing processing: how repeated dumping keeps others in a holding pattern (and drains you)
  • Quiet boundaries: reply when you have capacity, slow the response loop, name your limits kindly.
  • Love ≠ carrying it all: you can care deeply without being the emotional crutch.


Listener Takeaways

  • Notice your body’s cues: if you dread the message or feel depleted after chats, a boundary is needed.
  • Ask the reciprocity question: do they ever ask how you are—and stay to hear the answer?
  • Try a gentle reset: “I want to support you, but I don’t always have the emotional energy to take everything on.”
  • Delay is a boundary: respond when you have capacity, not on read-receipt guilt.
  • Guilt ≠ wrongdoing: it often shows up when you’re doing something new and healthier.
  • Protect your peace: empathy with boundaries prevents burnout—and keeps relationships honest.


Join the Conversation
Tell us your story on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod or leave us a voice note -we’d love to hear how you navigate this. Share this episode with the friend who’s always “the strong one.”



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
We dive into that sticky space between empathy and exhaustion—the moment a caring friend becomes the “emotional sponge” (hello, emotional vampires 👀). We talk about invisible emotional labour, midlife capacity, Catholic/learned guilt, and why stepping back isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect. We share how chronic one-way “offloading” keeps both people stuck, and how gentle, clear boundaries help everyone grow.


Key Discussion Points

  • Monologue vs. conversation: the red flag of constant offloading with no pause, curiosity, or reciprocity
  • Invisible labour is real: the listener/soother role is invaluable - and often unseen.
  • Self-worth & caregiving: when your value is tied to being “the strong one,” pulling back can trigger guilt
  • Outsourcing processing: how repeated dumping keeps others in a holding pattern (and drains you)
  • Quiet boundaries: reply when you have capacity, slow the response loop, name your limits kindly.
  • Love ≠ carrying it all: you can care deeply without being the emotional crutch.


Listener Takeaways

  • Notice your body’s cues: if you dread the message or feel depleted after chats, a boundary is needed.
  • Ask the reciprocity question: do they ever ask how you are—and stay to hear the answer?
  • Try a gentle reset: “I want to support you, but I don’t always have the emotional energy to take everything on.”
  • Delay is a boundary: respond when you have capacity, not on read-receipt guilt.
  • Guilt ≠ wrongdoing: it often shows up when you’re doing something new and healthier.
  • Protect your peace: empathy with boundaries prevents burnout—and keeps relationships honest.


Join the Conversation
Tell us your story on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod or leave us a voice note -we’d love to hear how you navigate this. Share this episode with the friend who’s always “the strong one.”



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-18202861 Wed, 19 Nov 2025 06:00:00 +0000 1451 2 4 full false The Quiet Bloom: Growing in Your Own Time The Quiet Bloom: Growing in Your Own Time Episode Overview

Feeling stretched thin, foggy, or quietly burning out? You’re not alone. In this episode, we get honest about that midlife feeling of running on empty - when hormones, deadlines, and daily demands leave you wondering how it’s all sustainable.

Inspired by Dame Patricia Routledge’s beautiful reflection before her 95th birthday, we talk about what it really means to bloom again. From her role as Hyacinth “Bouquet” to her later-life creativity and peace, her words remind us that it’s never too late to come home to ourselves.

We explore how midlife isn’t a decline but a recalibration - a shedding, softening, and rediscovering of what truly matters. Whether you’re exhausted, in transition, or simply questioning who you are without the noise, this conversation is a reminder that growth doesn’t stop. It just changes form.


Key Discussion Points

  • The emotional exhaustion that sits “behind your eyes” - and why so many of us feel it.
  • Dame Patricia Routledge’s wisdom on fear, timelines, and finding peace later in life.
  • Landing Hyacinth Bucket at 50 - how the role healed something in her.
  • Learning Italian at 60 and painting at 80 - the joy of growth without goals.
  • The freedom of “nothing to prove” and why midlife can be the age of authenticity.
  • Shifting from “How do I get back to who I was?” to “Who am I becoming?”

 Listener Takeaways

  • Midlife isn’t the end - it’s a reset. A time to recalibrate, soften, and listen to your own rhythm.
  • Growth doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes it’s found in stillness, in joy, in doing things just for you.
  • You’re never too late. There’s no timeline for blooming — it can happen at 40, 60, or 95.
  • Start small. Learn something new for fun, say no without guilt, or simply sit in quiet presence.
  • There’s no race to become who you’re meant to be. The timeline you were taught to follow isn’t real - you’re allowed to bloom later, slower, and differently than you expected.
  • Peace isn’t found in perfection. It begins the moment you stop performing and start listening to who you are underneath the noise.


Join the Conversation

What does blooming again look like for you right now? Is it softening, starting over, or rediscovering joy in the ordinary?
Send us a DM or voice note - we’d love to hear your reflections.

If this episode gave you hope or made you pause, share it with a friend who might need the reminder that it’s never too late to bloom again. 



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

Feeling stretched thin, foggy, or quietly burning out? You’re not alone. In this episode, we get honest about that midlife feeling of running on empty - when hormones, deadlines, and daily demands leave you wondering how it’s all sustainable.

Inspired by Dame Patricia Routledge’s beautiful reflection before her 95th birthday, we talk about what it really means to bloom again. From her role as Hyacinth “Bouquet” to her later-life creativity and peace, her words remind us that it’s never too late to come home to ourselves.

We explore how midlife isn’t a decline but a recalibration - a shedding, softening, and rediscovering of what truly matters. Whether you’re exhausted, in transition, or simply questioning who you are without the noise, this conversation is a reminder that growth doesn’t stop. It just changes form.


Key Discussion Points

  • The emotional exhaustion that sits “behind your eyes” - and why so many of us feel it.
  • Dame Patricia Routledge’s wisdom on fear, timelines, and finding peace later in life.
  • Landing Hyacinth Bucket at 50 - how the role healed something in her.
  • Learning Italian at 60 and painting at 80 - the joy of growth without goals.
  • The freedom of “nothing to prove” and why midlife can be the age of authenticity.
  • Shifting from “How do I get back to who I was?” to “Who am I becoming?”

 Listener Takeaways

  • Midlife isn’t the end - it’s a reset. A time to recalibrate, soften, and listen to your own rhythm.
  • Growth doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes it’s found in stillness, in joy, in doing things just for you.
  • You’re never too late. There’s no timeline for blooming — it can happen at 40, 60, or 95.
  • Start small. Learn something new for fun, say no without guilt, or simply sit in quiet presence.
  • There’s no race to become who you’re meant to be. The timeline you were taught to follow isn’t real - you’re allowed to bloom later, slower, and differently than you expected.
  • Peace isn’t found in perfection. It begins the moment you stop performing and start listening to who you are underneath the noise.


Join the Conversation

What does blooming again look like for you right now? Is it softening, starting over, or rediscovering joy in the ordinary?
Send us a DM or voice note - we’d love to hear your reflections.

If this episode gave you hope or made you pause, share it with a friend who might need the reminder that it’s never too late to bloom again. 



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-18162070 Wed, 12 Nov 2025 06:00:00 +0000 1330 2 3 full false Separation & Self-Worth: Redefining What It Means to Be Enough Separation & Self-Worth: Redefining What It Means to Be Enough Episode Overview

In this episode we sit down with Kate Daly, co-founder of Amicable, to explore how self-worth, identity, and personal growth are intertwined with relationships - and what happens when those relationships end.

Kate shares her wisdom from years of supporting couples through separation and co-parenting, offering a compassionate reframe: divorce isn’t a failure - it’s a change in how a family operates so everyone can thrive.

Together, we talk about how easily self-worth becomes tied to roles - wife, mother, partner, provider - and what it means to reclaim a sense of identity beyond them. From people-pleasing and invisible labour to fear, shame, and rebuilding from the ground up, this is a deeply human, empowering look at what it means to rediscover yourself after loss.

Key Discussion Points

  • How self-worth gets tied to our roles — and what happens when those roles change.
  • The invisible load women carry and why it’s still undervalued.
  • Reframing divorce as courage, not failure.

Listener Takeaways

  • Divorce doesn’t erase your worth — it reveals it.
  • You’re more than your role or relationship.
  • Pause, breathe, and ground before you react.

AMICABLE LINKS

 (2) Instagram 

 (25) amicable: Overview | LinkedIn 

 (1256) amicable divorce - YouTube 

Join the Conversation 

Have you experienced a time when your sense of worth was tied to your role in a relationship? Or found strength in rebuilding after a separation? Message us via the links below!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode we sit down with Kate Daly, co-founder of Amicable, to explore how self-worth, identity, and personal growth are intertwined with relationships - and what happens when those relationships end.

Kate shares her wisdom from years of supporting couples through separation and co-parenting, offering a compassionate reframe: divorce isn’t a failure - it’s a change in how a family operates so everyone can thrive.

Together, we talk about how easily self-worth becomes tied to roles - wife, mother, partner, provider - and what it means to reclaim a sense of identity beyond them. From people-pleasing and invisible labour to fear, shame, and rebuilding from the ground up, this is a deeply human, empowering look at what it means to rediscover yourself after loss.

Key Discussion Points

  • How self-worth gets tied to our roles — and what happens when those roles change.
  • The invisible load women carry and why it’s still undervalued.
  • Reframing divorce as courage, not failure.

Listener Takeaways

  • Divorce doesn’t erase your worth — it reveals it.
  • You’re more than your role or relationship.
  • Pause, breathe, and ground before you react.

AMICABLE LINKS

 (2) Instagram 

 (25) amicable: Overview | LinkedIn 

 (1256) amicable divorce - YouTube 

Join the Conversation 

Have you experienced a time when your sense of worth was tied to your role in a relationship? Or found strength in rebuilding after a separation? Message us via the links below!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-18111714 Wed, 05 Nov 2025 06:00:00 +0000 3233 2 2 full false Living A Quiet Life with Vanessa Marie Dewsbury: Learning to Rest Without Guilt and Why Stillness Matters More Than Ever Living A Quiet Life with Vanessa Marie Dewsbury: Learning to Rest Without Guilt and Why Stillness Matters More Than Ever Episode Overview
In a world that feels louder and busier than ever, finding peace can feel impossible - especially for introverts who need quiet to recharge.

In this episode, we sit down with Vanessa Marie Dewsbury,  best selling author and podcaster, who opens up about how she embraced a slower, softer way of living after years of tying her self-worth to busyness. We talk about why stillness is essential for our mental and emotional health, how introverts can protect their energy in an extroverted world, and why learning to say no (without guilt!) is one of the greatest acts of self-care.

This conversation is a permission slip to pause, breathe, and reconnect with yourself - even if it’s just for 10 minutes a day.


More About Vanessa:

As well as being a best selling author, podcaster, and advocate for those wanting to embrace their quiet nature. She follows the path true to her heart rather than conforming to societal expectations. Through her journey of healing and growth, she has discovered the profound importance of trusting her voice and living in alignment with her deepest beliefs and values. Through her work, Vanessa encourages others to honor their authentic selves and cultivate confidence in their unique way of being. You can connect with Vanessa on Instagram @soulalivebarrie or on Facebook at Vanessa Marie Dewsbury.

You can grab Vanessa’s book, Living A Quiet Life: Daily Reflections for Peace, Purpose and Personal Growth.

Books Links:

US:

https://a.co/d/aOr4bvF

CA: 

https://a.co/d/bWSKpSP

UK:

https://amzn.eu/d/9SKPMJL

AU:

https://amzn.asia/d/dFVCzM


Join the Conversation

Have you tried slowing down and living more intentionally? What helps you recharge when life feels overwhelming? We’d love to hear your thoughts - drop us a DM or a voicenote @youkeepmesane.pod


Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In a world that feels louder and busier than ever, finding peace can feel impossible - especially for introverts who need quiet to recharge.

In this episode, we sit down with Vanessa Marie Dewsbury,  best selling author and podcaster, who opens up about how she embraced a slower, softer way of living after years of tying her self-worth to busyness. We talk about why stillness is essential for our mental and emotional health, how introverts can protect their energy in an extroverted world, and why learning to say no (without guilt!) is one of the greatest acts of self-care.

This conversation is a permission slip to pause, breathe, and reconnect with yourself - even if it’s just for 10 minutes a day.


More About Vanessa:

As well as being a best selling author, podcaster, and advocate for those wanting to embrace their quiet nature. She follows the path true to her heart rather than conforming to societal expectations. Through her journey of healing and growth, she has discovered the profound importance of trusting her voice and living in alignment with her deepest beliefs and values. Through her work, Vanessa encourages others to honor their authentic selves and cultivate confidence in their unique way of being. You can connect with Vanessa on Instagram @soulalivebarrie or on Facebook at Vanessa Marie Dewsbury.

You can grab Vanessa’s book, Living A Quiet Life: Daily Reflections for Peace, Purpose and Personal Growth.

Books Links:

US:

https://a.co/d/aOr4bvF

CA: 

https://a.co/d/bWSKpSP

UK:

https://amzn.eu/d/9SKPMJL

AU:

https://amzn.asia/d/dFVCzM


Join the Conversation

Have you tried slowing down and living more intentionally? What helps you recharge when life feels overwhelming? We’d love to hear your thoughts - drop us a DM or a voicenote @youkeepmesane.pod


Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-18080152 Wed, 29 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0000 1893 2 1 full false Redefining Connection: Self-Worth & Belonging When Life Looks Different Redefining Connection: Self-Worth & Belonging When Life Looks Different Episode Overview

We’re revisiting connection - and layering in self-worth. We talk about why these two are inseparable, how midlife logistics (kids, caregiving, energy, perimenopause) change how we connect, and what to do when loneliness starts to chip at your worth. We share real stories of moving “home” and still feeling out of place, rebuilding identity, and redefining what counts as connection so it nourishes (not drains) you.


Key Discussion Points

  • The loop between worth and connection: shaky worth makes us hide; disconnection then lowers worth further.
  • Loneliness ≠ unworthiness: it’s a signal, not a verdict - and why vulnerability (admitting “I feel lonely”) often unlocks support.
  • Redefining connection: letting small touchpoints (a meme, a voice note, a 15-minute coffee) count.
  • Letting go to make room: grieving old forms of connection so new, right-sized ones can grow.
  • Self-connection first: anchoring in “who I am now” to choose connections that affirm your worth.


Listener Takeaways

  • Name it: “I feel lonely” is not a flaw.
  • Start small: one message, one invite, one walk-and-talk - it all counts.
  • Stop pegging your worth to a social calendar.
  • Choose people and formats that leave you feeling more you.
  • Vulnerability (“this is where I’m at”) often brings people closer.


Join the Conversation

Did this resonate? Share the episode with a friend who might need a nudge to reach out. DM us on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod or leave us a voice note. Tell us: What’s one small way you’ll connect this week - with yourself or someone else?




Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

We’re revisiting connection - and layering in self-worth. We talk about why these two are inseparable, how midlife logistics (kids, caregiving, energy, perimenopause) change how we connect, and what to do when loneliness starts to chip at your worth. We share real stories of moving “home” and still feeling out of place, rebuilding identity, and redefining what counts as connection so it nourishes (not drains) you.


Key Discussion Points

  • The loop between worth and connection: shaky worth makes us hide; disconnection then lowers worth further.
  • Loneliness ≠ unworthiness: it’s a signal, not a verdict - and why vulnerability (admitting “I feel lonely”) often unlocks support.
  • Redefining connection: letting small touchpoints (a meme, a voice note, a 15-minute coffee) count.
  • Letting go to make room: grieving old forms of connection so new, right-sized ones can grow.
  • Self-connection first: anchoring in “who I am now” to choose connections that affirm your worth.


Listener Takeaways

  • Name it: “I feel lonely” is not a flaw.
  • Start small: one message, one invite, one walk-and-talk - it all counts.
  • Stop pegging your worth to a social calendar.
  • Choose people and formats that leave you feeling more you.
  • Vulnerability (“this is where I’m at”) often brings people closer.


Join the Conversation

Did this resonate? Share the episode with a friend who might need a nudge to reach out. DM us on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod or leave us a voice note. Tell us: What’s one small way you’ll connect this week - with yourself or someone else?




Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-18009217 Wed, 22 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1577 1 96 full false The Truth Hurts - but It’s the Key to Growth | Sanity Check No.42 The Truth Hurts - but It’s the Key to Growth | Sanity Check No.42
Episode Overview
Being honest with yourself sounds simple - but it’s one of the hardest things to do. Because when we drop the excuses and really look at our patterns, it often means admitting we’re the problem. And that truth stings.

In this Sanity Check, we explore the discomfort of self-honesty, why we avoid it, and how facing it can shift everything-from relationships to careers to daily habits.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why being honest with yourself feels so uncomfortable.
  • How excuses protect us from change.
  • Everyday examples of self-deception (lateness, relationships, careers, friendships).
  • The role of self-worth in facing the gap between who we think we are and how we actually show up.
  • Why honesty isn’t failure - it’s awareness and the key to growth.

Listener Takeaways

  • Excuses may protect you from discomfort, but they also keep you stuck.
  • Self-honesty shines a light on patterns you can actually change.
  • Facing uncomfortable truths is what creates real growth and freedom.

Join the Conversation

What truth are you avoiding right now? Where might you be telling yourself a story because the real answer feels uncomfortable?

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to DM us or send us a voice note. We love hearing from you.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]>
Episode Overview
Being honest with yourself sounds simple - but it’s one of the hardest things to do. Because when we drop the excuses and really look at our patterns, it often means admitting we’re the problem. And that truth stings.

In this Sanity Check, we explore the discomfort of self-honesty, why we avoid it, and how facing it can shift everything-from relationships to careers to daily habits.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why being honest with yourself feels so uncomfortable.
  • How excuses protect us from change.
  • Everyday examples of self-deception (lateness, relationships, careers, friendships).
  • The role of self-worth in facing the gap between who we think we are and how we actually show up.
  • Why honesty isn’t failure - it’s awareness and the key to growth.

Listener Takeaways

  • Excuses may protect you from discomfort, but they also keep you stuck.
  • Self-honesty shines a light on patterns you can actually change.
  • Facing uncomfortable truths is what creates real growth and freedom.

Join the Conversation

What truth are you avoiding right now? Where might you be telling yourself a story because the real answer feels uncomfortable?

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to DM us or send us a voice note. We love hearing from you.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17994406 Thu, 16 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0100 406 1 95 full false The Grass Isn’t Greener: Unpacking What It Is We’re Really After The Grass Isn’t Greener: Unpacking What It Is We’re Really After Episode overview

This week we get honest about “the grass is greener” mindset - why we pin our happiness on a new place, job, or relationship, and what changes when we stop outsourcing contentment. We share our own stories of chasing locations (Spain, Europe, Australia), the let-down that followed, and the shift to building an inner baseline of self-worth, gratitude, and presence. The takeaway: greener grass isn’t a postcode - it’s a perspective you carry with you.

Key discussion points

  • Location as identity: How tying worth to a city/country kept us restless - and what happened when the shine wore off.
  • Hedonic adaptation: Why the high of “new” fades and we start craving the next thing.
  • Comparison traps: Social media and “other people’s lives” that subtly drive our desires.
  • The big confrontation: Realising “wherever you go, you take you” (and all your patterns) with you.
  • Gratitude as an anchor: Practising daily appreciation to feel fuller where you are.
  • Choosing from fullness: Dreaming and moving are still allowed - just not to fix you.


Listener takeaways

  • Name the feeling you’re chasing. Is it freedom, belonging, purpose, adventure, peace? Explore ways to create that feeling here (e.g., new routine, community, hobby, micro-adventures).
  • Do the “under-my-feet” audit. List 5 things that are working right now - people, habits, places, tiny joys.
  • Gratitude rep: 3 items, daily. Keep it simple and specific (today’s sky, a text from a friend, a warm cup of tea).
  • Comparison check: Limit the scroll that triggers “move/flee” urges; follow accounts that ground you.
  • Self-worth prompt: “If I believed I was enough as I am, would I still need this change to feel okay?”
  • If you still want the move: Great - plan it from stability, not scarcity. Make a values-based list of what the change must support.


Join the conversation

What’s the “greener grass” you’ve been eyeing—and what feeling is underneath it? Tell us in a DM or voice note. If this episode helped, please follow, rate, and share it with a friend who needs a reframe today.




Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode overview

This week we get honest about “the grass is greener” mindset - why we pin our happiness on a new place, job, or relationship, and what changes when we stop outsourcing contentment. We share our own stories of chasing locations (Spain, Europe, Australia), the let-down that followed, and the shift to building an inner baseline of self-worth, gratitude, and presence. The takeaway: greener grass isn’t a postcode - it’s a perspective you carry with you.

Key discussion points

  • Location as identity: How tying worth to a city/country kept us restless - and what happened when the shine wore off.
  • Hedonic adaptation: Why the high of “new” fades and we start craving the next thing.
  • Comparison traps: Social media and “other people’s lives” that subtly drive our desires.
  • The big confrontation: Realising “wherever you go, you take you” (and all your patterns) with you.
  • Gratitude as an anchor: Practising daily appreciation to feel fuller where you are.
  • Choosing from fullness: Dreaming and moving are still allowed - just not to fix you.


Listener takeaways

  • Name the feeling you’re chasing. Is it freedom, belonging, purpose, adventure, peace? Explore ways to create that feeling here (e.g., new routine, community, hobby, micro-adventures).
  • Do the “under-my-feet” audit. List 5 things that are working right now - people, habits, places, tiny joys.
  • Gratitude rep: 3 items, daily. Keep it simple and specific (today’s sky, a text from a friend, a warm cup of tea).
  • Comparison check: Limit the scroll that triggers “move/flee” urges; follow accounts that ground you.
  • Self-worth prompt: “If I believed I was enough as I am, would I still need this change to feel okay?”
  • If you still want the move: Great - plan it from stability, not scarcity. Make a values-based list of what the change must support.


Join the conversation

What’s the “greener grass” you’ve been eyeing—and what feeling is underneath it? Tell us in a DM or voice note. If this episode helped, please follow, rate, and share it with a friend who needs a reframe today.




Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17996491 Wed, 15 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1105 1 94 full false The Spirit of Adventure Isn’t Gone - She’s Still in There | Sanity Check No. 41 The Spirit of Adventure Isn’t Gone - She’s Still in There | Sanity Check No. 41 Episode Overview
In this Sanity Check, we get real about the adventures we used to have in our 20s and 30s - the flights booked on a whim, the countries we moved to, the people we met in transit, and the sheer freedom of saying yes without worrying about logistics. Somewhere along the way, life shifted. School runs, work deadlines, and financial commitments have made spontaneity harder to come by, and the adventurous parts of ourselves feel tucked away under layers of routine.

But here’s the thing: that spirit of adventure isn’t gone. She’s still in there. Maybe adventure now doesn’t mean moving countries or taking six holidays in a year - maybe it means breaking your routine, dancing in your kitchen, saying yes to something that scares you, or allowing yourself to dream again.

This conversation is your reminder that you’re not too old, too busy, or too fixed to shake things up. Adventure is not just in the past - it’s something we can redefine at every stage of life.


Key Discussion Points

  • The freedom and chaos of spontaneous adventures in our 20s and 30s.
  • How midlife responsibilities shift the way we experience adventure.
  • The loss of spontaneity and why it leaves us feeling stagnant.
  • The importance of curiosity, dreaming, and finding small ways to bring back colour and wildness.
  • Redefining adventure for this season of life - and giving ourselves permission to embrace it.

Listener Takeaways

  • Adventure doesn’t have to look the way it used to — it can be found in small, everyday shifts.
  • Curiosity is the spark that leads us back to adventure.
  • You’re never too old or too busy to feel lit up again.
  • Sometimes, it’s about breaking routine and giving yourself permission to dream.

Join the Conversation

When was the last time you felt adventurous? What would it take for you to feel that way again? We’d love to hear your version of adventure — drop us a DM or message and share what lights you up.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this Sanity Check, we get real about the adventures we used to have in our 20s and 30s - the flights booked on a whim, the countries we moved to, the people we met in transit, and the sheer freedom of saying yes without worrying about logistics. Somewhere along the way, life shifted. School runs, work deadlines, and financial commitments have made spontaneity harder to come by, and the adventurous parts of ourselves feel tucked away under layers of routine.

But here’s the thing: that spirit of adventure isn’t gone. She’s still in there. Maybe adventure now doesn’t mean moving countries or taking six holidays in a year - maybe it means breaking your routine, dancing in your kitchen, saying yes to something that scares you, or allowing yourself to dream again.

This conversation is your reminder that you’re not too old, too busy, or too fixed to shake things up. Adventure is not just in the past - it’s something we can redefine at every stage of life.


Key Discussion Points

  • The freedom and chaos of spontaneous adventures in our 20s and 30s.
  • How midlife responsibilities shift the way we experience adventure.
  • The loss of spontaneity and why it leaves us feeling stagnant.
  • The importance of curiosity, dreaming, and finding small ways to bring back colour and wildness.
  • Redefining adventure for this season of life - and giving ourselves permission to embrace it.

Listener Takeaways

  • Adventure doesn’t have to look the way it used to — it can be found in small, everyday shifts.
  • Curiosity is the spark that leads us back to adventure.
  • You’re never too old or too busy to feel lit up again.
  • Sometimes, it’s about breaking routine and giving yourself permission to dream.

Join the Conversation

When was the last time you felt adventurous? What would it take for you to feel that way again? We’d love to hear your version of adventure — drop us a DM or message and share what lights you up.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17962112 Thu, 09 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0100 822 1 93 full false Politeness or Self-Worth? Rethinking Everyday Language Politeness or Self-Worth? Rethinking Everyday Language Episode Overview

“Sorry.” “Please.” “Thank you.” On the surface, these are the pillars of good manners. But how often do we use them as more than politeness? In this episode, we dive into how these everyday words can quietly reveal- and even chip away at- our self-worth. From over-apologising to over-thanking, we explore how habits that look like kindness can actually be signs of shrinking ourselves.

Together, we share personal stories of catching ourselves saying sorry for simply existing, layering too many pleases into requests, or thanking so much it borders on guilt. We also reflect on where these patterns come from - family, culture, childhood conditioning - and how they shape the way we model self-worth to our children.

This isn’t about never saying sorry, please, or thank you again. It’s about learning to use them authentically - because when these words come from self-worth, not insecurity, they hold their true power.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why over-apologising often signals low self-worth rather than good manners.
  • The hidden meaning behind excessive pleases and thank yous.
  • How cultural upbringing and childhood conditioning shape our language habits.
  • The fine line between being considerate and shrinking yourself.
  • Modeling healthier language (and worth) for the next generation.


Listener Takeaways

  • Notice when you’re saying sorry, please, or thank you - is it genuine, or a way of softening yourself?
  • Practice swaps like “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late.”
  • Remember: you’re allowed to take up space, ask for what you need, and exist without apologising.
  • Words matter - let them reflect your worth, not your insecurity.


Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you: which word do you catch yourself overusing—sorry, please, or thank you? And what swap will you try this week? Message us or send a voice note- we love hearing your reflections.

And if you know someone who apologises for breathing, share this episode with them - it might be the reminder they need that they’re already enough.



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

“Sorry.” “Please.” “Thank you.” On the surface, these are the pillars of good manners. But how often do we use them as more than politeness? In this episode, we dive into how these everyday words can quietly reveal- and even chip away at- our self-worth. From over-apologising to over-thanking, we explore how habits that look like kindness can actually be signs of shrinking ourselves.

Together, we share personal stories of catching ourselves saying sorry for simply existing, layering too many pleases into requests, or thanking so much it borders on guilt. We also reflect on where these patterns come from - family, culture, childhood conditioning - and how they shape the way we model self-worth to our children.

This isn’t about never saying sorry, please, or thank you again. It’s about learning to use them authentically - because when these words come from self-worth, not insecurity, they hold their true power.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why over-apologising often signals low self-worth rather than good manners.
  • The hidden meaning behind excessive pleases and thank yous.
  • How cultural upbringing and childhood conditioning shape our language habits.
  • The fine line between being considerate and shrinking yourself.
  • Modeling healthier language (and worth) for the next generation.


Listener Takeaways

  • Notice when you’re saying sorry, please, or thank you - is it genuine, or a way of softening yourself?
  • Practice swaps like “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late.”
  • Remember: you’re allowed to take up space, ask for what you need, and exist without apologising.
  • Words matter - let them reflect your worth, not your insecurity.


Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you: which word do you catch yourself overusing—sorry, please, or thank you? And what swap will you try this week? Message us or send a voice note- we love hearing your reflections.

And if you know someone who apologises for breathing, share this episode with them - it might be the reminder they need that they’re already enough.



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17950974 Wed, 08 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1536 1 92 full false The Perfect Location Can’t Fill the Gap Inside | Sanity Check No.40 The Perfect Location Can’t Fill the Gap Inside | Sanity Check No.40
Episode Overview
We all have our dream locations - the sea breeze, the mountain air, or the buzz of the city. But what happens when you finally get there and still don’t feel the way you thought you would? In this episode, we share our own stories of longing for the “perfect” place and what we discovered along the way.

From Aileen’s dream of the Spanish coastline to Julie’s years of hopping between major cities, we explore how easy it is to pin our happiness and self-worth on external things - and how that rarely delivers what we’re really looking for. Because the truth is, no postcode, no view, and no lifestyle will ever fill the gap if we don’t feel enough as we are.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why we often attach our dreams to a location - and why it doesn’t work.
  • The hidden fear behind Aileen’s love of the sea.
  • Julie’s restlessness across cities like LA, London, and New York.
  • How external “backdrops” can distract us from doing the inner work.
  • The real question: What feeling do we think the place will give us?
  • Why building self-worth from the inside out changes everything.

Listener Takeaways

  • Happiness isn’t in a postcode. The sea, mountains, or city can’t fix how you feel inside.
  • The backdrop is never the main character. You bring yourself - and your unresolved issues - wherever you go.
  • Start now. Instead of waiting for the perfect move, ask yourself what feeling you’re really chasing and find ways to create it today.

Join the Conversation

Have you ever dreamed of a move, a lifestyle change, or a new location, only to discover you still felt the same once you got there? We’d love to hear your story. Share your thoughts and DM us or drop us a voice note. Your experiences help others feel less alone.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]>
Episode Overview
We all have our dream locations - the sea breeze, the mountain air, or the buzz of the city. But what happens when you finally get there and still don’t feel the way you thought you would? In this episode, we share our own stories of longing for the “perfect” place and what we discovered along the way.

From Aileen’s dream of the Spanish coastline to Julie’s years of hopping between major cities, we explore how easy it is to pin our happiness and self-worth on external things - and how that rarely delivers what we’re really looking for. Because the truth is, no postcode, no view, and no lifestyle will ever fill the gap if we don’t feel enough as we are.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why we often attach our dreams to a location - and why it doesn’t work.
  • The hidden fear behind Aileen’s love of the sea.
  • Julie’s restlessness across cities like LA, London, and New York.
  • How external “backdrops” can distract us from doing the inner work.
  • The real question: What feeling do we think the place will give us?
  • Why building self-worth from the inside out changes everything.

Listener Takeaways

  • Happiness isn’t in a postcode. The sea, mountains, or city can’t fix how you feel inside.
  • The backdrop is never the main character. You bring yourself - and your unresolved issues - wherever you go.
  • Start now. Instead of waiting for the perfect move, ask yourself what feeling you’re really chasing and find ways to create it today.

Join the Conversation

Have you ever dreamed of a move, a lifestyle change, or a new location, only to discover you still felt the same once you got there? We’d love to hear your story. Share your thoughts and DM us or drop us a voice note. Your experiences help others feel less alone.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17927112 Thu, 02 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0100 490 1 91 full false Money & Self-Worth: Why Your Paycheck Doesn’t Define You Money & Self-Worth: Why Your Paycheck Doesn’t Define You Episode Overview
In this episode we sit down with Nitika, founder of Aila Money, to explore the deep and complicated ties between money and self-worth. From growing up with scarcity to chasing salaries as proof of success, Nitika shares her journey of redefining what financial security really means. We also unpack why the gender wealth gap persists, how confidence and representation shape women’s financial choices, and what it takes to separate your paycheck from your value.


Key Discussion Points

  • How early messages linked money to security and self-worth.
  • Choosing impact and joy over maximising income.
  • Why the gender wealth gap still exists - and the role of self-worth in it.
  • The “motherhood tax” and how it ties worth to income.
  • Why women actually outperform men when they invest.


Listener Takeaways

  • Self-worth and salary are not the same thing - your value isn’t measured in paychecks.
  • Confidence and representation matter: if you don’t see it, it’s harder to believe you can be it.
  • Money is a tool, not an identity. It gives you choices, freedom, and the ability to design your life.
  • Women who invest often outperform men - the challenge is building the confidence to begin.


Links to Aila Money 

https://www.instagram.com/ailamoney

https://www.instagram.com/nitika_moneypt

Aila Money’s 75-Day Financial Fitness Challenge

https://luma.com/4zrg3jiu?locale=en-GB


Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear your reflections. Have you ever tied your self-worth to your salary? What helped you step back and see money differently? Share your thoughts with us, send us a DM or a voice-note. Your stories always mean so much.



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this episode we sit down with Nitika, founder of Aila Money, to explore the deep and complicated ties between money and self-worth. From growing up with scarcity to chasing salaries as proof of success, Nitika shares her journey of redefining what financial security really means. We also unpack why the gender wealth gap persists, how confidence and representation shape women’s financial choices, and what it takes to separate your paycheck from your value.


Key Discussion Points

  • How early messages linked money to security and self-worth.
  • Choosing impact and joy over maximising income.
  • Why the gender wealth gap still exists - and the role of self-worth in it.
  • The “motherhood tax” and how it ties worth to income.
  • Why women actually outperform men when they invest.


Listener Takeaways

  • Self-worth and salary are not the same thing - your value isn’t measured in paychecks.
  • Confidence and representation matter: if you don’t see it, it’s harder to believe you can be it.
  • Money is a tool, not an identity. It gives you choices, freedom, and the ability to design your life.
  • Women who invest often outperform men - the challenge is building the confidence to begin.


Links to Aila Money 

https://www.instagram.com/ailamoney

https://www.instagram.com/nitika_moneypt

Aila Money’s 75-Day Financial Fitness Challenge

https://luma.com/4zrg3jiu?locale=en-GB


Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear your reflections. Have you ever tied your self-worth to your salary? What helped you step back and see money differently? Share your thoughts with us, send us a DM or a voice-note. Your stories always mean so much.



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17909578 Wed, 01 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0100 2349 1 90 full false The Confidence Eater: How Comparison Chips Away at Self-Worth | Sanity Check No.39 The Confidence Eater: How Comparison Chips Away at Self-Worth | Sanity Check No.39
Episode Overview

In this episode, we get real about comparison - that sneaky reflex that leaves us feeling behind, not enough, or smaller than we really are. It started with a conversation about a new podcast soaring to a million downloads in just weeks, and led us to reflect on how quickly we can slip into the comparison trap.

We talk about why it’s so easy to measure ourselves against others, how social media turbocharges the urge to compare, and the danger it poses to our self-worth and confidence. Most importantly, we share how to shift the focus back to our own journey - to celebrate the resilience, growth, and wins that can’t be measured in numbers.


Key Discussion Points

  • The Digit podcast milestone and why it triggered thoughts about comparison.
  • The deep roots of comparison - from survival instincts to modern highlight reels.
  • How social media amplifies comparison and skews perspective. 
  • What happens when comparison chips away at confidence and freezes momentum.
  • The powerful reframe: measuring your progress against your own journey instead of someone else’s.

Listener Takeaways

  • Comparison is natural — but what you do with it is what counts.
  •  Don’t measure your starting line against someone else’s decade of work.
  • Social media is a highlight reel — not the whole story.
  • Focus on your own progress: resilience, growth, brick-by-brick wins. 
  • The only lane that matters is your own.


Join the Conversation

Do you struggle with comparison? We’d love to hear how it shows up for you and how you handle it. Send us a DM or share this episode with someone who needs the reminder to stay in their own lane.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]>
Episode Overview

In this episode, we get real about comparison - that sneaky reflex that leaves us feeling behind, not enough, or smaller than we really are. It started with a conversation about a new podcast soaring to a million downloads in just weeks, and led us to reflect on how quickly we can slip into the comparison trap.

We talk about why it’s so easy to measure ourselves against others, how social media turbocharges the urge to compare, and the danger it poses to our self-worth and confidence. Most importantly, we share how to shift the focus back to our own journey - to celebrate the resilience, growth, and wins that can’t be measured in numbers.


Key Discussion Points

  • The Digit podcast milestone and why it triggered thoughts about comparison.
  • The deep roots of comparison - from survival instincts to modern highlight reels.
  • How social media amplifies comparison and skews perspective. 
  • What happens when comparison chips away at confidence and freezes momentum.
  • The powerful reframe: measuring your progress against your own journey instead of someone else’s.

Listener Takeaways

  • Comparison is natural — but what you do with it is what counts.
  •  Don’t measure your starting line against someone else’s decade of work.
  • Social media is a highlight reel — not the whole story.
  • Focus on your own progress: resilience, growth, brick-by-brick wins. 
  • The only lane that matters is your own.


Join the Conversation

Do you struggle with comparison? We’d love to hear how it shows up for you and how you handle it. Send us a DM or share this episode with someone who needs the reminder to stay in their own lane.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17878994 Thu, 25 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0100 530 1 89 full false Mistakes, Shame & Self-Worth: Why Admitting “I Was Wrong” Is Powerful Mistakes, Shame & Self-Worth: Why Admitting “I Was Wrong” Is Powerful Episode overview

We dig into our complicated relationship with mistakes - why being wrong can feel threatening, how that ties to self-worth, and what changes when we choose honesty over image. From tween apologies to boardroom dread, to the ways we over-apologise without really owning it, we explore how admitting fault builds trust, lightens the emotional load, and strengthens relationships (including with ourselves).

Key discussion points

  • Why it’s hard to be wrong: perfection messages at school, and fear of judgment make mistakes feel like a threat to identity.
  • Self-worth traps: When your worth is pegged to “being capable/strong/reliable,” being wrong can feel like you are wrong.
  • Surface vs. sincere apologies: The difference between smoothing things over (“sorry, but…”) and true accountability (“I was wrong - no excuses”).
  • Parenting & modelling: Cheering mistakes, apologising to our kids, and how that normalises repair.
  • Trauma & perspective shifts: How big losses recalibrate what matters - and make letting go of “being right” easier.


  • Listener takeaways
  • Try this reframe: “Being wrong doesn’t make me unworthy - it makes me human.”
  • Micro-reps for honesty: Practice small admissions -“You’re right, I forgot” - without scrambling for excuses.
  • Notice & name it: When defensiveness rises, ask: Am I defending my point - or my worth?
  • Model what you want: Apologise to your kids/partner/friends; show that repair is normal and safe.
  • Release the armor: Honesty reduces shame, restores energy, and deepens trust.


Join the conversation

We’d love to hear from you: when was the last time you admitted you were wrong? Did it make you feel weaker, or did it actually make you feel stronger? Share your experience with us-send us a DM or a voice note. These are the kinds of stories that remind us we’re not alone, and the more we talk about them, the easier it gets.




Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode overview

We dig into our complicated relationship with mistakes - why being wrong can feel threatening, how that ties to self-worth, and what changes when we choose honesty over image. From tween apologies to boardroom dread, to the ways we over-apologise without really owning it, we explore how admitting fault builds trust, lightens the emotional load, and strengthens relationships (including with ourselves).

Key discussion points

  • Why it’s hard to be wrong: perfection messages at school, and fear of judgment make mistakes feel like a threat to identity.
  • Self-worth traps: When your worth is pegged to “being capable/strong/reliable,” being wrong can feel like you are wrong.
  • Surface vs. sincere apologies: The difference between smoothing things over (“sorry, but…”) and true accountability (“I was wrong - no excuses”).
  • Parenting & modelling: Cheering mistakes, apologising to our kids, and how that normalises repair.
  • Trauma & perspective shifts: How big losses recalibrate what matters - and make letting go of “being right” easier.


  • Listener takeaways
  • Try this reframe: “Being wrong doesn’t make me unworthy - it makes me human.”
  • Micro-reps for honesty: Practice small admissions -“You’re right, I forgot” - without scrambling for excuses.
  • Notice & name it: When defensiveness rises, ask: Am I defending my point - or my worth?
  • Model what you want: Apologise to your kids/partner/friends; show that repair is normal and safe.
  • Release the armor: Honesty reduces shame, restores energy, and deepens trust.


Join the conversation

We’d love to hear from you: when was the last time you admitted you were wrong? Did it make you feel weaker, or did it actually make you feel stronger? Share your experience with us-send us a DM or a voice note. These are the kinds of stories that remind us we’re not alone, and the more we talk about them, the easier it gets.




Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17878834 Wed, 24 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1588 1 88 full false Ambiverts Explained: Why a Smaller Circle Feeds Your Soul | Sanity Check No. 38 Ambiverts Explained: Why a Smaller Circle Feeds Your Soul | Sanity Check No. 38
Episode Overview
In this week’s Sanity Check, we’re diving into a word that was a complete revelation to us - ambivert. For years we’ve thought in terms of introverts and extroverts, but what if you’re a mix of both? We talk about how our social energy has shifted with age, why surface-level chat feels so draining, and how self-worth helps us choose the connections that truly matter.

Key Discussion Points

  • Why saying yes to every coffee date or catch-up can leave you drained.
  • The role of self-worth in choosing where you spend your time.
  • What it really means to be an ambivert.
  • How age, self-growth, and experience change our tolerance for surface-level conversations.
  • Lessons we’re passing on to our daughters.


Listener Takeaways

  • You don’t need to feel guilty for saying no.
  • A smaller, more authentic circle of friends can often bring more fulfilment than a big social network.
  • Being an ambivert means you can love connecting with people and still need quiet time to recharge.
  • Popularity and numbers (friends, followers, likes) don’t define your worth.
  • Choosing consciously where to put your energy helps you show up as your best self.


Join the Conversation
Do you see yourself as an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert? How do you protect your energy when it comes to social life and friendships?
We’d love to hear your thoughts - drop us a DM, or share this episode with someone who needs a reminder that a smaller, truer circle is worth so much more.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]>
Episode Overview
In this week’s Sanity Check, we’re diving into a word that was a complete revelation to us - ambivert. For years we’ve thought in terms of introverts and extroverts, but what if you’re a mix of both? We talk about how our social energy has shifted with age, why surface-level chat feels so draining, and how self-worth helps us choose the connections that truly matter.

Key Discussion Points

  • Why saying yes to every coffee date or catch-up can leave you drained.
  • The role of self-worth in choosing where you spend your time.
  • What it really means to be an ambivert.
  • How age, self-growth, and experience change our tolerance for surface-level conversations.
  • Lessons we’re passing on to our daughters.


Listener Takeaways

  • You don’t need to feel guilty for saying no.
  • A smaller, more authentic circle of friends can often bring more fulfilment than a big social network.
  • Being an ambivert means you can love connecting with people and still need quiet time to recharge.
  • Popularity and numbers (friends, followers, likes) don’t define your worth.
  • Choosing consciously where to put your energy helps you show up as your best self.


Join the Conversation
Do you see yourself as an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert? How do you protect your energy when it comes to social life and friendships?
We’d love to hear your thoughts - drop us a DM, or share this episode with someone who needs a reminder that a smaller, truer circle is worth so much more.



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17839866 Thu, 18 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0100 600 1 87 full false Imposter Syndrome: The Gap Between What You’ve Done and What You Believe Imposter Syndrome: The Gap Between What You’ve Done and What You Believe Episode Overview
In this episode, we dive into imposter syndrome — that all-too-familiar sense of doubting yourself despite clear evidence you’ve earned your place. We talk about how it has shown up in our own lives, why it’s especially common among high achievers, and how it quietly chips away at self-worth. From the root causes we pick up as kids to the way adult pressures amplify it, we explore why so many of us carry this fear of being “found out.” Most importantly, we share the practical ways we’ve learned to turn the volume down — reframing success, tracking wins, and remembering that feelings aren’t facts.


Key Discussion Points

  • What imposter syndrome really is and why it’s so common
  • Early roots: praise, comparison, and perfectionism
  • Why high achievers often feel it most
  • How workplaces and life transitions amplify self-doubt
  • The nervous system’s role in treating visibility as danger
  • Practical shifts that help: naming it, tracking wins, reframing success
  • Why self-worth — not achievement — is the real antidote

Listener Takeaways

  • Feeling like a fraud doesn’t mean you are one — feelings aren’t facts.
  • Reframe success as effort and growth, not just flawless results.
  • Keep your wins close and stop “comparing up.”
  • Mistakes are proof you’re learning, not proof you don’t belong.
  • Your worth isn’t tied to achievements or approval — you’re already enough.

Join the Conversation

If imposter syndrome has shown up in your life, you’re in good company. We’d love to hear your story — DM us or send a voice note. And if you know someone who needs this reminder, please share the episode with them. You keep us sane too. 🤍



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this episode, we dive into imposter syndrome — that all-too-familiar sense of doubting yourself despite clear evidence you’ve earned your place. We talk about how it has shown up in our own lives, why it’s especially common among high achievers, and how it quietly chips away at self-worth. From the root causes we pick up as kids to the way adult pressures amplify it, we explore why so many of us carry this fear of being “found out.” Most importantly, we share the practical ways we’ve learned to turn the volume down — reframing success, tracking wins, and remembering that feelings aren’t facts.


Key Discussion Points

  • What imposter syndrome really is and why it’s so common
  • Early roots: praise, comparison, and perfectionism
  • Why high achievers often feel it most
  • How workplaces and life transitions amplify self-doubt
  • The nervous system’s role in treating visibility as danger
  • Practical shifts that help: naming it, tracking wins, reframing success
  • Why self-worth — not achievement — is the real antidote

Listener Takeaways

  • Feeling like a fraud doesn’t mean you are one — feelings aren’t facts.
  • Reframe success as effort and growth, not just flawless results.
  • Keep your wins close and stop “comparing up.”
  • Mistakes are proof you’re learning, not proof you don’t belong.
  • Your worth isn’t tied to achievements or approval — you’re already enough.

Join the Conversation

If imposter syndrome has shown up in your life, you’re in good company. We’d love to hear your story — DM us or send a voice note. And if you know someone who needs this reminder, please share the episode with them. You keep us sane too. 🤍



Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17840154 Wed, 17 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1500 1 86 full false Relaxation Anxiety: The Momentum of Busyness | Sanity Check No 37 Relaxation Anxiety: The Momentum of Busyness | Sanity Check No 37 Episode Overview
Have you ever finally sat down to rest, only to find yourself fidgeting, scrolling, or looking for something to tidy? You’re not alone. There’s a name for this: relaxation anxiety.

In this week’s Sanity Check, we dive into why slowing down feels so uncomfortable when your life is full of constant momentum, and how our culture ties worth to productivity.

Key Discussion Points:

  • What “relaxation anxiety” is and why it shows up.
  • The pressure we put on ourselves to earn rest.
  • Why busyness can become our default identity.
  • The cultural link between productivity and self-worth.
  • How to approach rest as something we learn, not something we feel guilty about.

Listener Takeaways:

  • If you feel restless when you stop, it’s not failure, it’s your body unwinding.
  • Rest isn’t a luxury or something you have to deserve, it’s essential.
  • Give yourself patience and grace: momentum takes time to slow down.
  • Try building in smaller, frequent moments of rest instead of waiting for the perfect time.

Join the Conversation

Have you experienced relaxation anxiety? How do you give yourself permission to stop without guilt? 

Send us a DM or leave a comment, we’d love to hear your thoughts.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
Have you ever finally sat down to rest, only to find yourself fidgeting, scrolling, or looking for something to tidy? You’re not alone. There’s a name for this: relaxation anxiety.

In this week’s Sanity Check, we dive into why slowing down feels so uncomfortable when your life is full of constant momentum, and how our culture ties worth to productivity.

Key Discussion Points:

  • What “relaxation anxiety” is and why it shows up.
  • The pressure we put on ourselves to earn rest.
  • Why busyness can become our default identity.
  • The cultural link between productivity and self-worth.
  • How to approach rest as something we learn, not something we feel guilty about.

Listener Takeaways:

  • If you feel restless when you stop, it’s not failure, it’s your body unwinding.
  • Rest isn’t a luxury or something you have to deserve, it’s essential.
  • Give yourself patience and grace: momentum takes time to slow down.
  • Try building in smaller, frequent moments of rest instead of waiting for the perfect time.

Join the Conversation

Have you experienced relaxation anxiety? How do you give yourself permission to stop without guilt? 

Send us a DM or leave a comment, we’d love to hear your thoughts.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17806881 Thu, 11 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0100 495 1 85 full false The Wonder Woman Cape: How Gen X Tied Self-Worth to Carrying It All (and Why It’s Breaking Us) | YKMS The Wonder Woman Cape: How Gen X Tied Self-Worth to Carrying It All (and Why It’s Breaking Us) | YKMS Episode Overview:

In this week’s episode of You Keep Me Sane, we dive into what it really means to be Gen X - caught between silence and strength, invisibility and overachievement. We explore how growing up in a culture that told us to “just get on with it” shaped our self-worth, and how the infamous “Wonder Woman cape” became both our badge of honour and our heaviest burden.

From latchkey kids to midlife jugglers, we unpack the generational weight we carry. We talk about why it shows up in our health, our relationships, and our sense of identity and what it means to finally name it, put it down, and choose something lighter.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Why Gen X was taught to suppress emotions and “just cope” without support
  • The Wonder Woman cape: how being endlessly capable became tied to our worth
  • Midlife as a reckoning point - when silence and strain finally catch up
  • The impact of suppressed emotions on health (autoimmune conditions, stress, burnout)
  • Practical reflections on setting down the cape and redefining worth

Listener Takeaways:

  • You are not weak for feeling the weight, you’ve been carrying decades of conditioning.
  • Self-worth doesn’t come from how much you can juggle, it comes from who you are.
  • Setting down the cape, even for an hour, can be a radical act of self-care.
  • Naming what our generation carries isn’t complaining, it’s the first step to healing.
  • We can choose to raise our children differently, with openness and emotional language that we never had.

Join the Conversation:

Where are you still wearing the Wonder Woman cape? And what would it feel like to set it down - just for an hour?

We’d love to hear your reflections. DM us or leave a voice note to share your story.
And if this episode resonated, don’t forget to follow, rate, and share the podcast so more of us can feel seen, heard, and a little less alone.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this week’s episode of You Keep Me Sane, we dive into what it really means to be Gen X - caught between silence and strength, invisibility and overachievement. We explore how growing up in a culture that told us to “just get on with it” shaped our self-worth, and how the infamous “Wonder Woman cape” became both our badge of honour and our heaviest burden.

From latchkey kids to midlife jugglers, we unpack the generational weight we carry. We talk about why it shows up in our health, our relationships, and our sense of identity and what it means to finally name it, put it down, and choose something lighter.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Why Gen X was taught to suppress emotions and “just cope” without support
  • The Wonder Woman cape: how being endlessly capable became tied to our worth
  • Midlife as a reckoning point - when silence and strain finally catch up
  • The impact of suppressed emotions on health (autoimmune conditions, stress, burnout)
  • Practical reflections on setting down the cape and redefining worth

Listener Takeaways:

  • You are not weak for feeling the weight, you’ve been carrying decades of conditioning.
  • Self-worth doesn’t come from how much you can juggle, it comes from who you are.
  • Setting down the cape, even for an hour, can be a radical act of self-care.
  • Naming what our generation carries isn’t complaining, it’s the first step to healing.
  • We can choose to raise our children differently, with openness and emotional language that we never had.

Join the Conversation:

Where are you still wearing the Wonder Woman cape? And what would it feel like to set it down - just for an hour?

We’d love to hear your reflections. DM us or leave a voice note to share your story.
And if this episode resonated, don’t forget to follow, rate, and share the podcast so more of us can feel seen, heard, and a little less alone.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17806849 Wed, 10 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1599 1 84 full false Food, Fog, and Feeling Better: A Real Talk Reset | Sanity Check No. 36 Food, Fog, and Feeling Better: A Real Talk Reset | Sanity Check No. 36 Episode Overview:
We’re not here to talk about dieting, detoxes, or food fads. This week’s Sanity Check is about the small, doable changes we’ve each made to what we eat - and the unexpected shifts we’ve noticed in mood, energy, and clarity as a result.

From quitting sugar to ditching oat milk, increasing hydration, and bringing back big bowls of salad, we’re getting honest about the habits that crept in (and the ones we let slide) during perimenopause, busy life seasons, and the cold, snacky winter months. If you’ve been feeling a bit off - fuzzy-headed, bloated, fatigued - this episode is your gentle nudge to get curious, not critical, about your food.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Why Aileen finally decided to give up sugar (again) and what happened in just a few days.
  • How Julie's small tweaks (hello veggies, goodbye oat milk) made a surprisingly big difference.
  • The emotional side of food: comfort eating, energy dips, winter cravings, and breaking old habits.
  • What we’ve learned about food and brain fog, bloating, and midlife fatigue.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Sometimes you don’t need a major overhaul, tiny changes can create real results.
  • Feeling “off” isn’t always just hormones or stress - sometimes, it’s what’s on your plate.
  • When you eat from self-care instead of self-punishment, your whole mindset shifts.
  • Start with curiosity. Even a 10% shift in how you feel can ripple into everything.

Join the Conversation:

Have you made any small changes lately that helped your energy, mood or health? We’d love to hear what’s working for you! Drop us a DM, leave a comment, or send a voice note - we’re all in this together.

And if you found this helpful, please forward it to a friend who might need a reminder that it’s never too late to listen to your body.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:
We’re not here to talk about dieting, detoxes, or food fads. This week’s Sanity Check is about the small, doable changes we’ve each made to what we eat - and the unexpected shifts we’ve noticed in mood, energy, and clarity as a result.

From quitting sugar to ditching oat milk, increasing hydration, and bringing back big bowls of salad, we’re getting honest about the habits that crept in (and the ones we let slide) during perimenopause, busy life seasons, and the cold, snacky winter months. If you’ve been feeling a bit off - fuzzy-headed, bloated, fatigued - this episode is your gentle nudge to get curious, not critical, about your food.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Why Aileen finally decided to give up sugar (again) and what happened in just a few days.
  • How Julie's small tweaks (hello veggies, goodbye oat milk) made a surprisingly big difference.
  • The emotional side of food: comfort eating, energy dips, winter cravings, and breaking old habits.
  • What we’ve learned about food and brain fog, bloating, and midlife fatigue.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Sometimes you don’t need a major overhaul, tiny changes can create real results.
  • Feeling “off” isn’t always just hormones or stress - sometimes, it’s what’s on your plate.
  • When you eat from self-care instead of self-punishment, your whole mindset shifts.
  • Start with curiosity. Even a 10% shift in how you feel can ripple into everything.

Join the Conversation:

Have you made any small changes lately that helped your energy, mood or health? We’d love to hear what’s working for you! Drop us a DM, leave a comment, or send a voice note - we’re all in this together.

And if you found this helpful, please forward it to a friend who might need a reminder that it’s never too late to listen to your body.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17764913 Thu, 04 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0100 621 1 83 full false Breaking Stigma: Johnny Starr on Men’s Mental Health, Resilience & Fitness | YKMS Breaking Stigma: Johnny Starr on Men’s Mental Health, Resilience & Fitness | YKMS Episode Summary

This week we sit down with Johnny Starr – entrepreneur, fitness coach, and founder of Never Home. Johnny’s story is one of resilience, reinvention, and radical honesty about men’s mental health. From hitting rock bottom and multiple stays in a psychiatric ward to building a thriving brand with a powerful mindset message, Johnny shares how he’s learned to manage criticism, protect his self-worth, and turn personal battles into fuel for helping others.

We dive into the stigma men still face when opening up, the mental toll of tall poppy syndrome, the pressures of social media, and why fitness became Johnny’s lifeline. This is an unfiltered conversation about courage, growth, and using your platform to lead with integrity.

Key Discussion Points

  • Johnny’s mental health journey – from online hate and drug use to suicidal lows and recovery.
  • The impact of tall poppy syndrome – why success and positivity can trigger criticism, and how Johnny reframed it.
  • Men and vulnerability – breaking the silence, seeking help, and the role of therapy.
  • Fitness as a mental health tool – how routine, discipline, and physical wellbeing transformed Johnny’s life.
  • Building Never Home – creating a brand rooted in mindset, resilience, and purpose.
  • Social media pressures – separating self-worth from material status and external validation.

Listener Takeaways

  • Seeking professional help can be life-changing – therapy isn’t just for crisis, it’s for maintenance and growth.
  • Your self-worth can’t be tied to material possessions or public perception.
  • Criticism often says more about the other person’s insecurities than about you.
  • Fitness, routine, and self-care aren’t just physical – they’re powerful mental health strategies.
  • Vulnerability is strength, and sharing your story can give others permission to speak up.

Links to Johnny:

https://www.instagram.com/johnny_starr/

https://www.instagram.com/teamneverhome/

Join the Conversation

How do you protect your self-worth when criticism or comparison hits?

We’d love to hear your thoughts – send us a DM, an email or leave us a voicemail.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Summary

This week we sit down with Johnny Starr – entrepreneur, fitness coach, and founder of Never Home. Johnny’s story is one of resilience, reinvention, and radical honesty about men’s mental health. From hitting rock bottom and multiple stays in a psychiatric ward to building a thriving brand with a powerful mindset message, Johnny shares how he’s learned to manage criticism, protect his self-worth, and turn personal battles into fuel for helping others.

We dive into the stigma men still face when opening up, the mental toll of tall poppy syndrome, the pressures of social media, and why fitness became Johnny’s lifeline. This is an unfiltered conversation about courage, growth, and using your platform to lead with integrity.

Key Discussion Points

  • Johnny’s mental health journey – from online hate and drug use to suicidal lows and recovery.
  • The impact of tall poppy syndrome – why success and positivity can trigger criticism, and how Johnny reframed it.
  • Men and vulnerability – breaking the silence, seeking help, and the role of therapy.
  • Fitness as a mental health tool – how routine, discipline, and physical wellbeing transformed Johnny’s life.
  • Building Never Home – creating a brand rooted in mindset, resilience, and purpose.
  • Social media pressures – separating self-worth from material status and external validation.

Listener Takeaways

  • Seeking professional help can be life-changing – therapy isn’t just for crisis, it’s for maintenance and growth.
  • Your self-worth can’t be tied to material possessions or public perception.
  • Criticism often says more about the other person’s insecurities than about you.
  • Fitness, routine, and self-care aren’t just physical – they’re powerful mental health strategies.
  • Vulnerability is strength, and sharing your story can give others permission to speak up.

Links to Johnny:

https://www.instagram.com/johnny_starr/

https://www.instagram.com/teamneverhome/

Join the Conversation

How do you protect your self-worth when criticism or comparison hits?

We’d love to hear your thoughts – send us a DM, an email or leave us a voicemail.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17764880 Wed, 03 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0100 2118 1 82 full false “You’re Complicated” - Unpicking The Insult We So Often Hear | Sanity Check No.35 “You’re Complicated” - Unpicking The Insult We So Often Hear | Sanity Check No.35 Episode Overview

Why is it that when a woman shows depth, honesty, and emotional range, she’s so often called “complicated”? And why does it rarely sound like a compliment?

In this Sanity Check, we unpack the difference between being complicated and being complex. One implies chaos that needs fixing; the other speaks to richness, nuance, and a life deeply lived. We share personal stories of times we’ve been given the label, explore why it’s often used as a deflection (especially in dating and relationships), and talk about the quiet power of refusing to water yourself down.

This is a conversation for anyone who’s ever felt “too much”.

Key Discussion Points

  • Complicated vs. Complex – why the two words feel so different, and how switching them can shift your perspective.
  • How the “complicated” label is often used to avoid emotional intimacy or vulnerability.
  • The link between emotional depth, lived experience, and midlife complexity.
  • Why some people retreat from deep connection and why that’s not about you.
  • How to stop shrinking yourself to be more “digestible” in relationships.

Listener Takeaways

  • Your emotional depth is not a flaw - it’s your richness.
  • If someone calls you “complicated,” it often says more about their limitations than your worth.
  • You cannot make the wrong move with the right person.
  • Check in with yourself: am I being complicated, or am I being complex? There's a difference.
  • The right people will meet you where you’re at; you don’t need to twist yourself to fit.

Join the Conversation

Have you ever been told you’re “complicated”? How did it make you feel? 

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Send us a DM or join the discussion in our community spaces. And don’t forget to share this episode with someone who needs to hear it!

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

Why is it that when a woman shows depth, honesty, and emotional range, she’s so often called “complicated”? And why does it rarely sound like a compliment?

In this Sanity Check, we unpack the difference between being complicated and being complex. One implies chaos that needs fixing; the other speaks to richness, nuance, and a life deeply lived. We share personal stories of times we’ve been given the label, explore why it’s often used as a deflection (especially in dating and relationships), and talk about the quiet power of refusing to water yourself down.

This is a conversation for anyone who’s ever felt “too much”.

Key Discussion Points

  • Complicated vs. Complex – why the two words feel so different, and how switching them can shift your perspective.
  • How the “complicated” label is often used to avoid emotional intimacy or vulnerability.
  • The link between emotional depth, lived experience, and midlife complexity.
  • Why some people retreat from deep connection and why that’s not about you.
  • How to stop shrinking yourself to be more “digestible” in relationships.

Listener Takeaways

  • Your emotional depth is not a flaw - it’s your richness.
  • If someone calls you “complicated,” it often says more about their limitations than your worth.
  • You cannot make the wrong move with the right person.
  • Check in with yourself: am I being complicated, or am I being complex? There's a difference.
  • The right people will meet you where you’re at; you don’t need to twist yourself to fit.

Join the Conversation

Have you ever been told you’re “complicated”? How did it make you feel? 

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Send us a DM or join the discussion in our community spaces. And don’t forget to share this episode with someone who needs to hear it!

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17726937 Thu, 28 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0100 599 1 81 full false The Messy–Tidy Divide: It’s Not About Laziness | YKMS The Messy–Tidy Divide: It’s Not About Laziness | YKMS Episode Overview

This week, we’re lifting the lid on one of life’s everyday divides: the messy vs tidy debate. But we’re not here to hand out gold stars for perfect homes or shame anyone for clutter. Instead, we’re exploring what lies beneath our habits: how our upbringing, nervous systems, and life stages shape the way we live in our spaces.

From coat hanger standoffs to emotional wiring, we share our completely opposite approaches to order (and chaos), the judgments we’ve faced, and the surprising science behind mess and creativity. Whether you’re the “everything in its place” type or someone who can happily ignore a pile on the stairs, this episode is all about understanding (and accepting) the way you’re built.

Key Discussion Points

  • Opposite ends of the spectrum: Aileen’s comfort with chaos vs Julie’s need for order.
  • Nervous system clues: Why some of us find calm in clutter and others feel anxious until everything is put away.
  • Childhood influence: How emotional temperature at home can shape our relationship with tidiness.
  • The science bit: Studies linking clutter to creativity, risk-taking, and even cortisol levels.

Listener Takeaways

  • Being tidy doesn’t make you “better,” and being messy doesn’t mean you don’t care - it’s often about how you regulate and what feels safe.
  • Your space can reflect your internal state, but it can also influence it.
  • Talk openly if you live with your opposite - it’s about understanding, not winning.
  • Give yourself permission to keep your home in a way that works for your stage of life and nervous system.

Links

We refer again to Lauren from Perfect Home Organisation - Aileen got her in to her home and Lauren was amazing! 

👉Follow Lauren at @perfectspacehomeorganisation
👉Check out her Amazon shop + WhatsApp community  via her website:

https://www.perfectspacehomeorganisation.com/

Join the Conversation

Where do you sit on the messy–tidy spectrum? Do you thrive in chaos or only relax in order? We’d love to hear how you navigate differences in your household. Drop us a DM or voice note and let us know.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

This week, we’re lifting the lid on one of life’s everyday divides: the messy vs tidy debate. But we’re not here to hand out gold stars for perfect homes or shame anyone for clutter. Instead, we’re exploring what lies beneath our habits: how our upbringing, nervous systems, and life stages shape the way we live in our spaces.

From coat hanger standoffs to emotional wiring, we share our completely opposite approaches to order (and chaos), the judgments we’ve faced, and the surprising science behind mess and creativity. Whether you’re the “everything in its place” type or someone who can happily ignore a pile on the stairs, this episode is all about understanding (and accepting) the way you’re built.

Key Discussion Points

  • Opposite ends of the spectrum: Aileen’s comfort with chaos vs Julie’s need for order.
  • Nervous system clues: Why some of us find calm in clutter and others feel anxious until everything is put away.
  • Childhood influence: How emotional temperature at home can shape our relationship with tidiness.
  • The science bit: Studies linking clutter to creativity, risk-taking, and even cortisol levels.

Listener Takeaways

  • Being tidy doesn’t make you “better,” and being messy doesn’t mean you don’t care - it’s often about how you regulate and what feels safe.
  • Your space can reflect your internal state, but it can also influence it.
  • Talk openly if you live with your opposite - it’s about understanding, not winning.
  • Give yourself permission to keep your home in a way that works for your stage of life and nervous system.

Links

We refer again to Lauren from Perfect Home Organisation - Aileen got her in to her home and Lauren was amazing! 

👉Follow Lauren at @perfectspacehomeorganisation
👉Check out her Amazon shop + WhatsApp community  via her website:

https://www.perfectspacehomeorganisation.com/

Join the Conversation

Where do you sit on the messy–tidy spectrum? Do you thrive in chaos or only relax in order? We’d love to hear how you navigate differences in your household. Drop us a DM or voice note and let us know.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17726902 Wed, 27 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1440 1 80 full true A Thoughtful Gesture or Subtle Manipulation? | Sanity Check No. 34 A Thoughtful Gesture or Subtle Manipulation? | Sanity Check No. 34 Episode Overview

Ever had someone offer you a “favour” that felt more like a clever way to get what they wanted? In this week’s Sanity Check, we unpack those interactions that seem generous on the surface but leave you feeling off - and possibly manipulated.

We get honest about how people sometimes frame their own needs as if they’re doing you a kindness… and how easy it is to fall into the habit of saying thank you, even when you’re the one doing the heavy lifting.

This episode is a little slice of catharsis if you’ve ever:
– Felt guilted into saying yes
– Gone along with someone’s plan out of politeness
– Swallowed your frustration to “keep the peace”

We're naming the pattern, ditching the people-pleasing, and reminding you: It’s okay to say no. You’re not mean. You’re not selfish. You’re just finally setting the record straight.

Listener Takeaway:

If you’ve ever walked away from a situation thinking, Hang on, I didn’t even want to do that, you’re not alone. This is your permission slip to stop over-apologising, stop over-thanking, and stop twisting yourself into a pretzel to accommodate someone else’s plan. You’re allowed to pause, say no, and name what’s really going on.

 Join the Conversation:

We love hearing from you. Drop us a DM or a voice note with your story—have you had one of these “favour that wasn’t a favour” moments? What did you do?
And please share this episode with someone who might need to hear they’re not alone.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

Ever had someone offer you a “favour” that felt more like a clever way to get what they wanted? In this week’s Sanity Check, we unpack those interactions that seem generous on the surface but leave you feeling off - and possibly manipulated.

We get honest about how people sometimes frame their own needs as if they’re doing you a kindness… and how easy it is to fall into the habit of saying thank you, even when you’re the one doing the heavy lifting.

This episode is a little slice of catharsis if you’ve ever:
– Felt guilted into saying yes
– Gone along with someone’s plan out of politeness
– Swallowed your frustration to “keep the peace”

We're naming the pattern, ditching the people-pleasing, and reminding you: It’s okay to say no. You’re not mean. You’re not selfish. You’re just finally setting the record straight.

Listener Takeaway:

If you’ve ever walked away from a situation thinking, Hang on, I didn’t even want to do that, you’re not alone. This is your permission slip to stop over-apologising, stop over-thanking, and stop twisting yourself into a pretzel to accommodate someone else’s plan. You’re allowed to pause, say no, and name what’s really going on.

 Join the Conversation:

We love hearing from you. Drop us a DM or a voice note with your story—have you had one of these “favour that wasn’t a favour” moments? What did you do?
And please share this episode with someone who might need to hear they’re not alone.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17685423 Thu, 21 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0100 531 1 79 full false Fabulous After 50: Jen Hardy on Power, Confidence & Reinvention | YKMS Fabulous After 50: Jen Hardy on Power, Confidence & Reinvention | YKMS Episode Overview:

In this episode, we sit down with the unstoppable Jen Hardy - host of The Fabulous Over 50 Podcast, The Jen Hardy Show on YouTube, and creator of the 50 Over 50 Podcaster Awards. We first met Jen at The Podcast Show in London, and were immediately drawn to her energy, her sparkle (literally), and her mission to celebrate midlife women who are finding their voice - and using it.

Jen shares her powerful journey: from raising seven children across four decades and battling chronic illness, to reinventing herself through podcasting and embracing a new, more unapologetic version of herself. We explore how midlife can be a portal to confidence, bold boundaries, and self-acceptance - and why women over 50 are no longer asking for permission.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Why Jen left behind her chronic illness-focused podcast to start Fabulous Over 50
  • What really changes for women after 50 and why it’s not all bad
  • How hormones like oxytocin shape our identity and priorities through life stages
  • The rising power of midlife women (and why so many are divorcing in their 50s)
  • How appearance still shapes visibility - and what Jen discovered after changing hers
  • The strength in boundaries, self-preservation, and finally saying “no”

Listener Takeaways:

  • Midlife isn’t a decline, it’s an awakening
  • You’re allowed to change your story (and your outfit) at any age
  • Boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re sacred
  • Confidence doesn’t always arrive on time, but it always shows up if you let it
  • Sometimes, glitter is a power move 💫

Where to find Jen Hardy:

https://jenhardy.net/

https://www.youtube.com/@thejenhardy

https://www.instagram.com/thejenhardy/

 Join the Conversation:

What did this episode spark for you?
We’d love to hear your story—your midlife moment, your boundary breakthrough, or just how you’re learning to embrace this chapter.

Drop us a DM, leave a voice note, or share this with someone who needs to hear it.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this episode, we sit down with the unstoppable Jen Hardy - host of The Fabulous Over 50 Podcast, The Jen Hardy Show on YouTube, and creator of the 50 Over 50 Podcaster Awards. We first met Jen at The Podcast Show in London, and were immediately drawn to her energy, her sparkle (literally), and her mission to celebrate midlife women who are finding their voice - and using it.

Jen shares her powerful journey: from raising seven children across four decades and battling chronic illness, to reinventing herself through podcasting and embracing a new, more unapologetic version of herself. We explore how midlife can be a portal to confidence, bold boundaries, and self-acceptance - and why women over 50 are no longer asking for permission.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Why Jen left behind her chronic illness-focused podcast to start Fabulous Over 50
  • What really changes for women after 50 and why it’s not all bad
  • How hormones like oxytocin shape our identity and priorities through life stages
  • The rising power of midlife women (and why so many are divorcing in their 50s)
  • How appearance still shapes visibility - and what Jen discovered after changing hers
  • The strength in boundaries, self-preservation, and finally saying “no”

Listener Takeaways:

  • Midlife isn’t a decline, it’s an awakening
  • You’re allowed to change your story (and your outfit) at any age
  • Boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re sacred
  • Confidence doesn’t always arrive on time, but it always shows up if you let it
  • Sometimes, glitter is a power move 💫

Where to find Jen Hardy:

https://jenhardy.net/

https://www.youtube.com/@thejenhardy

https://www.instagram.com/thejenhardy/

 Join the Conversation:

What did this episode spark for you?
We’d love to hear your story—your midlife moment, your boundary breakthrough, or just how you’re learning to embrace this chapter.

Drop us a DM, leave a voice note, or share this with someone who needs to hear it.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17685364 Wed, 20 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1692 1 78 full false Waiting for the Fabulous to Kick In: A Midlife Reality Check | Sanity Check No. 33 Waiting for the Fabulous to Kick In: A Midlife Reality Check | Sanity Check No. 33 Fabulous Over 50? What If You’re Not Feeling It Yet?

In this week’s Sanity Check, we’re talking about something that doesn’t get said enough: what if midlife isn’t fabulous just yet?

We dive into the glossy headlines about women thriving over 50 and unpack what it really feels like behind the scenes - from underactive thyroids and solo parenting to post-brain-fog clarity and Red Bull confessions.

Aileen shares how she’s doing everything “in reverse” - thriving in her 40s, now dealing with inflammation, fatigue, and the reality of perimenopause in her 50s. Julie reflects on finding energy and confidence again (finally!) after a decade-long fog lifted in her late 40s.

Together, we explore:

  • Why “fabulous” looks different for every woman
  • The invisible timeline pressure of ageing
  • How our life stage, health, hormones, and circumstances shape how we feel
  • And why your best decade might still be ahead of you (hello, sensational 60s!)

Takeaway: There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to ageing well. You’re not failing if you’re not feeling it right now. Your chapter might be different — and that’s more than okay.

 Join the conversation:
Have you hit your stride yet, or are you still waiting for your fabulous to arrive? Drop us a DM or voice note — we’d love to hear your story.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Fabulous Over 50? What If You’re Not Feeling It Yet?

In this week’s Sanity Check, we’re talking about something that doesn’t get said enough: what if midlife isn’t fabulous just yet?

We dive into the glossy headlines about women thriving over 50 and unpack what it really feels like behind the scenes - from underactive thyroids and solo parenting to post-brain-fog clarity and Red Bull confessions.

Aileen shares how she’s doing everything “in reverse” - thriving in her 40s, now dealing with inflammation, fatigue, and the reality of perimenopause in her 50s. Julie reflects on finding energy and confidence again (finally!) after a decade-long fog lifted in her late 40s.

Together, we explore:

  • Why “fabulous” looks different for every woman
  • The invisible timeline pressure of ageing
  • How our life stage, health, hormones, and circumstances shape how we feel
  • And why your best decade might still be ahead of you (hello, sensational 60s!)

Takeaway: There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to ageing well. You’re not failing if you’re not feeling it right now. Your chapter might be different — and that’s more than okay.

 Join the conversation:
Have you hit your stride yet, or are you still waiting for your fabulous to arrive? Drop us a DM or voice note — we’d love to hear your story.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17650232 Thu, 14 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0100 603 1 77 full false Deepfakes, Consent & Digital Safety: What Every Parent Needs to Know | YKMS Deepfakes, Consent & Digital Safety: What Every Parent Needs to Know | YKMS Episode Overview:

In this episode, we speak with broadcast journalist Ania Lichtarowicz - Managing Director of Somewhere on Earth Productions and former producer of BBC’s Digital Planet. 

Ania breaks down the alarming rise of AI-generated deepfake pornography - how it works, who’s being targeted, and what we all need to understand to protect ourselves and our children in an increasingly digital world.

This isn't just about celebrities. People with under 10,000 followers are being exploited through these technologies. As mums of teenagers ourselves, this hit close to home.

Key Discussion Points:

  • What exactly is a deepfake? 
  • Why women are disproportionately targeted, and how social media makes us vulnerable.
  • The risks for kids and teens.
  • Steps parents and teens can take today to stay safer online

Listener Takeaways:

  • You don’t need to be famous to be affected. 
  • Talk to your kids about digital consent and teach them to be cautious about what they post.
  • There are tools that can help - see the below e-book link.
  • Being digitally savvy is part of being safe - that starts with awareness, not fear.

Download our E-Book for Parents, The Deep Fake Survival Guide: 

https://stan.store/YouKeepMeSane/YouKeepMeSane_store/page/3381269 

Links To Ania and her work at Somewhere On Earth Productions:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/anialichtarowicz/

https://www.instagram.com/soeptech/

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this episode, we speak with broadcast journalist Ania Lichtarowicz - Managing Director of Somewhere on Earth Productions and former producer of BBC’s Digital Planet. 

Ania breaks down the alarming rise of AI-generated deepfake pornography - how it works, who’s being targeted, and what we all need to understand to protect ourselves and our children in an increasingly digital world.

This isn't just about celebrities. People with under 10,000 followers are being exploited through these technologies. As mums of teenagers ourselves, this hit close to home.

Key Discussion Points:

  • What exactly is a deepfake? 
  • Why women are disproportionately targeted, and how social media makes us vulnerable.
  • The risks for kids and teens.
  • Steps parents and teens can take today to stay safer online

Listener Takeaways:

  • You don’t need to be famous to be affected. 
  • Talk to your kids about digital consent and teach them to be cautious about what they post.
  • There are tools that can help - see the below e-book link.
  • Being digitally savvy is part of being safe - that starts with awareness, not fear.

Download our E-Book for Parents, The Deep Fake Survival Guide: 

https://stan.store/YouKeepMeSane/YouKeepMeSane_store/page/3381269 

Links To Ania and her work at Somewhere On Earth Productions:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/anialichtarowicz/

https://www.instagram.com/soeptech/

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17649989 Wed, 13 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1958 1 76 full false Always Us Picking Up Mess: Does No One Else Even See It? | Sanity Check 32. Always Us Picking Up Mess: Does No One Else Even See It? | Sanity Check 32. Episode Overview:

In this week’s Sanity Check, Julie shares a hilarious (and maddeningly relatable) story about a coat hanger left in the hallway - for four days. No one else in the house noticed it. Or did they?

From coat hangers to mugs, to stairs stacked with “to-be-taken-up” items, we unpack the domestic phenomenon where women seem to carry the invisible job of noticing and picking things up. Is it biology? Conditioning? Or just... the dreaded mental load?

We reflect on how women often scan the home for what needs doing, while others just walk past it. If you’ve ever run your own coat hanger experiment or feel like the only one holding the household together - this one’s for you.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Julie’s hallway “coat hanger test” and what it revealed
  • Why so many women carry a hyper-awareness of household mess
  • The role of mental load and who’s been conditioned to carry it
  • Is it that they really can’t see it… or that they just don’t care?
  • Why kids and partners might not be scanning like we do
  • Aileen’s theory on how we’ve trained others not to notice

Listener Takeaways:

  • You’re not imagining it - many women are the default “noticers” of domestic clutter.
  • Mental load isn’t just about doing the tasks - it starts with seeing what needs doing.
  • We often train the people around us (without meaning to) to expect us to clean up.
  • If you feel like the only one seeing the mess, you’re not alone and it’s okay to change the pattern.

Join the Conversation:

Does this happen in your house too?
Do you think they genuinely don’t see it or just don’t care?
Drop us a message or DM - we want to know we’re not losing it (or at least, we’re all losing it together!).

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this week’s Sanity Check, Julie shares a hilarious (and maddeningly relatable) story about a coat hanger left in the hallway - for four days. No one else in the house noticed it. Or did they?

From coat hangers to mugs, to stairs stacked with “to-be-taken-up” items, we unpack the domestic phenomenon where women seem to carry the invisible job of noticing and picking things up. Is it biology? Conditioning? Or just... the dreaded mental load?

We reflect on how women often scan the home for what needs doing, while others just walk past it. If you’ve ever run your own coat hanger experiment or feel like the only one holding the household together - this one’s for you.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Julie’s hallway “coat hanger test” and what it revealed
  • Why so many women carry a hyper-awareness of household mess
  • The role of mental load and who’s been conditioned to carry it
  • Is it that they really can’t see it… or that they just don’t care?
  • Why kids and partners might not be scanning like we do
  • Aileen’s theory on how we’ve trained others not to notice

Listener Takeaways:

  • You’re not imagining it - many women are the default “noticers” of domestic clutter.
  • Mental load isn’t just about doing the tasks - it starts with seeing what needs doing.
  • We often train the people around us (without meaning to) to expect us to clean up.
  • If you feel like the only one seeing the mess, you’re not alone and it’s okay to change the pattern.

Join the Conversation:

Does this happen in your house too?
Do you think they genuinely don’t see it or just don’t care?
Drop us a message or DM - we want to know we’re not losing it (or at least, we’re all losing it together!).

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17605730 Thu, 07 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0100 571 1 75 full false Mood Swings, Eye Rolls, and Growing Pains: Parenting the Tween Transition | YKMS Mood Swings, Eye Rolls, and Growing Pains: Parenting the Tween Transition | YKMS Episode Overview:

If you're parenting a 12-year-old (or about to), this one’s for you.

We talk about the moment your sweet kid suddenly starts rolling their eyes, refusing hugs, demanding independence - and testing every nerve you have. We share real stories from our own homes, laugh through the chaos, and get honest about how hard this transition can feel.

But underneath the attitude and inconsistency is a powerful truth: your child’s brain is under construction, their emotions are big, and you are still their safe place - even when they act like they can’t stand you.

This episode is a mix of neuroscience, nostalgia, and no-filter parenting. You’re not imagining the shift and you’re not alone in finding it hard.

Key Discussion Points:

  • What’s really going on in a 12-year-old’s brain and why their behaviour feels so inconsistent
  • How pushback is actually a (messy) form of connection and growth
  • The importance of small connection moments over forced big talks
  • How to model emotional regulation (even when you want to scream)
  • Why grief is a real part of watching your child pull away and how to process it

Listener Takeaways:

  • You’re not failing, your child is becoming.
  • Connection doesn’t always look like closeness.
  • The tone might sting, but it’s not personal, it’s developmental.
  • Let them push, but you don’t need to push back.
  • Laugh, pause, model calm, and remember: this is a season.

📣 Join the Conversation:

Are you in the thick of the tween phase too?
What’s been the most surprising thing about parenting a 12-year-old?
Leave us a voice note or drop us a DM - we’d love to share this journey with you.

And if you found this helpful, please send it to a fellow parent who might need the reminder: you’re not alone.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

If you're parenting a 12-year-old (or about to), this one’s for you.

We talk about the moment your sweet kid suddenly starts rolling their eyes, refusing hugs, demanding independence - and testing every nerve you have. We share real stories from our own homes, laugh through the chaos, and get honest about how hard this transition can feel.

But underneath the attitude and inconsistency is a powerful truth: your child’s brain is under construction, their emotions are big, and you are still their safe place - even when they act like they can’t stand you.

This episode is a mix of neuroscience, nostalgia, and no-filter parenting. You’re not imagining the shift and you’re not alone in finding it hard.

Key Discussion Points:

  • What’s really going on in a 12-year-old’s brain and why their behaviour feels so inconsistent
  • How pushback is actually a (messy) form of connection and growth
  • The importance of small connection moments over forced big talks
  • How to model emotional regulation (even when you want to scream)
  • Why grief is a real part of watching your child pull away and how to process it

Listener Takeaways:

  • You’re not failing, your child is becoming.
  • Connection doesn’t always look like closeness.
  • The tone might sting, but it’s not personal, it’s developmental.
  • Let them push, but you don’t need to push back.
  • Laugh, pause, model calm, and remember: this is a season.

📣 Join the Conversation:

Are you in the thick of the tween phase too?
What’s been the most surprising thing about parenting a 12-year-old?
Leave us a voice note or drop us a DM - we’d love to share this journey with you.

And if you found this helpful, please send it to a fellow parent who might need the reminder: you’re not alone.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17605689 Wed, 06 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1504 1 74 full false Your Body Is Not a Project—It's Your Home | Sanity Check No. 31 Your Body Is Not a Project—It's Your Home | Sanity Check No. 31 Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check, we get real about our lifelong struggles with body image - and how they’ve evolved (or stayed stuck) as we've entered midlife. From tying jumpers around our waists in our 20s to feeling unrecognisable in our 40s, we share the quiet grief, relentless inner voice, and conditioning so many women carry.

But this isn't just about venting. It's about shifting.

We talk through the small but powerful mindset resets we’ve started using to build a kinder relationship with our bodies - ones that focus less on “fixing” and more on tending. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve spent your whole life at war with your body, this one’s for you.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Why we never felt good in our bodies - even when we “looked good”
  • The disorienting shift that comes with midlife body changes
  • How cultural conditioning trains us to feel like we’re never enough
  • What we’re learning from our body confidence reset
  • Noticing the inner critic - especially when it’s subtle or subconscious
  • Why confidence doesn’t come after weight loss or change
  • What it really means to be in relationship with your body

Listener Takeaways:

  • Your body is not a problem to be fixed, it’s a home to care for.
  • Confidence comes from how you show up for yourself, not from your reflection.
  • You don’t have to love every inch to stop the war, just stop the criticism.
  • Feeling “uncomfortable in your own skin” isn’t a flaw - it’s a byproduct of years of pressure and programming.
  • You’re not broken. You’re just tired from trying to meet a standard that was never made for you.

Join the Conversation:

If this episode stirred something in you, we'd love to hear about it.
Leave us a DM or share this episode with someone who needs to feel less alone in their body journey.
And if today, all you do is soften your inner voice or pick an outfit that feels good, that’s a win. We’re walking this with you.


Download our FREE e-Book for a Body Image Reset: https://stan.store/YouKeepMeSane/p/download-the-midlife-body-confidence-ebook-now

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check, we get real about our lifelong struggles with body image - and how they’ve evolved (or stayed stuck) as we've entered midlife. From tying jumpers around our waists in our 20s to feeling unrecognisable in our 40s, we share the quiet grief, relentless inner voice, and conditioning so many women carry.

But this isn't just about venting. It's about shifting.

We talk through the small but powerful mindset resets we’ve started using to build a kinder relationship with our bodies - ones that focus less on “fixing” and more on tending. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve spent your whole life at war with your body, this one’s for you.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Why we never felt good in our bodies - even when we “looked good”
  • The disorienting shift that comes with midlife body changes
  • How cultural conditioning trains us to feel like we’re never enough
  • What we’re learning from our body confidence reset
  • Noticing the inner critic - especially when it’s subtle or subconscious
  • Why confidence doesn’t come after weight loss or change
  • What it really means to be in relationship with your body

Listener Takeaways:

  • Your body is not a problem to be fixed, it’s a home to care for.
  • Confidence comes from how you show up for yourself, not from your reflection.
  • You don’t have to love every inch to stop the war, just stop the criticism.
  • Feeling “uncomfortable in your own skin” isn’t a flaw - it’s a byproduct of years of pressure and programming.
  • You’re not broken. You’re just tired from trying to meet a standard that was never made for you.

Join the Conversation:

If this episode stirred something in you, we'd love to hear about it.
Leave us a DM or share this episode with someone who needs to feel less alone in their body journey.
And if today, all you do is soften your inner voice or pick an outfit that feels good, that’s a win. We’re walking this with you.


Download our FREE e-Book for a Body Image Reset: https://stan.store/YouKeepMeSane/p/download-the-midlife-body-confidence-ebook-now

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17568730 Thu, 31 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0100 726 1 73 full false Holding It Together in Midlife: Body, Hormones & Connection with Cara Metz | YKMS Holding It Together in Midlife: Body, Hormones & Connection with Cara Metz | YKMS Episode Overview

What begins as a chat about fitness quickly turns into something deeper. In this episode, we sit down with Cara Metz, founder of Cara Fitness, to explore not just the shifting demands of midlife bodies, but also the invisible weight of grief, the power of real community, and what it takes to stay connected to yourself when life feels hard.

Cara opens up about losing her beloved cat Missy, recovering from spinal surgery, and navigating perimenopause in a culture that still doesn't talk about it enough. She also shares her personal journey with body image, diet culture, and how she finally gave herself permission to rest (even though she’s still not very good at it!).

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your body - or from yourself - this conversation is a reminder that healing is possible, and connection changes everything.

Key Discussion Points

  • What Cara had to unlearn about food, fitness, and rest in her 40s
  • Cara’s spinal surgery recovery and the mental strength it required
  • Why real community made all the difference through her hardest times
  • How body image issues linger even after growth - and how she reframes them
  • The role of vulnerability and being “makeup-free” in her online presence
  • Why meditation, breathwork and self-talk have changed her inner world

Listener Takeaways

  • You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful - being real is enough
  • Strength isn’t just physical; it’s emotional, mental, and communal
  • Midlife is not a crisis, it’s a recalibration
  • Rest might not come naturally, but it’s essential (and brave)
  • Body image isn’t a one-time fix - it’s a daily practice in self-compassion
  • Connection, especially online, can be life-saving

Connect with Cara Metz:

On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carametz_/ 

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

What begins as a chat about fitness quickly turns into something deeper. In this episode, we sit down with Cara Metz, founder of Cara Fitness, to explore not just the shifting demands of midlife bodies, but also the invisible weight of grief, the power of real community, and what it takes to stay connected to yourself when life feels hard.

Cara opens up about losing her beloved cat Missy, recovering from spinal surgery, and navigating perimenopause in a culture that still doesn't talk about it enough. She also shares her personal journey with body image, diet culture, and how she finally gave herself permission to rest (even though she’s still not very good at it!).

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your body - or from yourself - this conversation is a reminder that healing is possible, and connection changes everything.

Key Discussion Points

  • What Cara had to unlearn about food, fitness, and rest in her 40s
  • Cara’s spinal surgery recovery and the mental strength it required
  • Why real community made all the difference through her hardest times
  • How body image issues linger even after growth - and how she reframes them
  • The role of vulnerability and being “makeup-free” in her online presence
  • Why meditation, breathwork and self-talk have changed her inner world

Listener Takeaways

  • You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful - being real is enough
  • Strength isn’t just physical; it’s emotional, mental, and communal
  • Midlife is not a crisis, it’s a recalibration
  • Rest might not come naturally, but it’s essential (and brave)
  • Body image isn’t a one-time fix - it’s a daily practice in self-compassion
  • Connection, especially online, can be life-saving

Connect with Cara Metz:

On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carametz_/ 

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17568723 Wed, 30 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0100 2346 1 72 full false Decision Fatigue: The Tiny Decisions Draining You | Sanity Check No. 30 Decision Fatigue: The Tiny Decisions Draining You | Sanity Check No. 30 Episode Overview:

This week, we hit that point where the mental tabs were maxed out - and it wasn’t about the big stuff. It was the what’s for dinner, the laundry, what vitamins to give the kids, the endless little choices that chip away at your sanity. We talk about decision fatigue and how it creeps in when your brain just can’t carry any more. From turtles to t-shirts, it’s not always the weight of the decision, it’s the volume.

Key Discussion Points:

  • What decision fatigue really looks and feels like
  • Why the small, daily decisions are sometimes the hardest
  • How perimenopause, parenting and running a household or business add to the mental load
  • Letting go of guilt when your brain says “enough”
  • How to pause, hand over decisions, or just leave them for tomorrow

Listener Takeaways:

  • You’re not broken if you can’t face the laundry pile or another meal plan
  • It’s okay to not decide - sometimes that is the decision
  • Mental rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity

Join the Conversation:

Have you felt this kind of decision fatigue lately? Tell us what tipped you over - was it the washing, the vitamins, the inbox? Drop us a DM or voice message. We love hearing your stories and sharing this space with you.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

This week, we hit that point where the mental tabs were maxed out - and it wasn’t about the big stuff. It was the what’s for dinner, the laundry, what vitamins to give the kids, the endless little choices that chip away at your sanity. We talk about decision fatigue and how it creeps in when your brain just can’t carry any more. From turtles to t-shirts, it’s not always the weight of the decision, it’s the volume.

Key Discussion Points:

  • What decision fatigue really looks and feels like
  • Why the small, daily decisions are sometimes the hardest
  • How perimenopause, parenting and running a household or business add to the mental load
  • Letting go of guilt when your brain says “enough”
  • How to pause, hand over decisions, or just leave them for tomorrow

Listener Takeaways:

  • You’re not broken if you can’t face the laundry pile or another meal plan
  • It’s okay to not decide - sometimes that is the decision
  • Mental rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity

Join the Conversation:

Have you felt this kind of decision fatigue lately? Tell us what tipped you over - was it the washing, the vitamins, the inbox? Drop us a DM or voice message. We love hearing your stories and sharing this space with you.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17534631 Thu, 24 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0100 502 1 71 full false Ambition & Self-Worth: How Can They Coexist? | YKMS Ambition & Self-Worth: How Can They Coexist? | YKMS Episode Overview

This week’s episode was sparked by a thoughtful voice note from a listener who asked a powerful question: Where does ambition fit into self-worth?

In a culture that often ties success to external achievements, it’s easy to get caught in the trap of proving your value through accolades, productivity, or recognition. But can ambition and self-worth actually coexist in a healthy way? We believe they can and should.

In this conversation, we unpack what healthy ambition looks like, why striving isn’t the enemy of self-worth, and how our relationship with aspiration changes in midlife. From personal stories of burnout and people-pleasing to parenting conversations and redefining success, this episode is a warm reminder that it’s okay to want more - as long as it comes from the right place.

Key Discussion Points

  • The difference between striving for growth and chasing validation.
  • How societal expectations shaped our early views on success.
  • The role of internal vs external drivers: joy, shame, survival, recognition.
  • Why it’s okay to not know what you want yet and how curiosity can be a guide.
  • Midlife aspirations, evolving ambitions, and creating your own blueprint.

Listener Takeaways

  • Ambition isn’t the enemy of self-worth - but when it’s rooted in fear, shame, or comparison, it can derail your wellbeing.
  • Ask yourself: Are your goals coming from expansion or escape?
  • Striving is natural - but when it’s value-led and purpose-driven, it adds vitality to your life, not burnout.
  • Success isn’t what you have, it’s how it feels.
  • Are you living by your own blueprint or someone else's?

Join the Conversation

Tell us how your relationship with ambition has changed over time.
💬 DM us
🎤 Leave a voice note
📣 Share this with a friend who might be doubting their dreams.

Let’s keep the conversation going, because ambition, rest, and self-worth can all coexist. You’re allowed to want more and still be enough, right now.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

This week’s episode was sparked by a thoughtful voice note from a listener who asked a powerful question: Where does ambition fit into self-worth?

In a culture that often ties success to external achievements, it’s easy to get caught in the trap of proving your value through accolades, productivity, or recognition. But can ambition and self-worth actually coexist in a healthy way? We believe they can and should.

In this conversation, we unpack what healthy ambition looks like, why striving isn’t the enemy of self-worth, and how our relationship with aspiration changes in midlife. From personal stories of burnout and people-pleasing to parenting conversations and redefining success, this episode is a warm reminder that it’s okay to want more - as long as it comes from the right place.

Key Discussion Points

  • The difference between striving for growth and chasing validation.
  • How societal expectations shaped our early views on success.
  • The role of internal vs external drivers: joy, shame, survival, recognition.
  • Why it’s okay to not know what you want yet and how curiosity can be a guide.
  • Midlife aspirations, evolving ambitions, and creating your own blueprint.

Listener Takeaways

  • Ambition isn’t the enemy of self-worth - but when it’s rooted in fear, shame, or comparison, it can derail your wellbeing.
  • Ask yourself: Are your goals coming from expansion or escape?
  • Striving is natural - but when it’s value-led and purpose-driven, it adds vitality to your life, not burnout.
  • Success isn’t what you have, it’s how it feels.
  • Are you living by your own blueprint or someone else's?

Join the Conversation

Tell us how your relationship with ambition has changed over time.
💬 DM us
🎤 Leave a voice note
📣 Share this with a friend who might be doubting their dreams.

Let’s keep the conversation going, because ambition, rest, and self-worth can all coexist. You’re allowed to want more and still be enough, right now.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17534591 Wed, 23 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1123 1 70 full false Frazzled to Calm: Micro Shifts That Lower Cortisol | Sanity Check No.29 Frazzled to Calm: Micro Shifts That Lower Cortisol | Sanity Check No.29 Episode Overview:

Ever feel like you're living in survival mode - snappy, tired, and overwhelmed for no clear reason? You're not imagining it. That constant buzzing in your body might be cortisol, your stress hormone, running the show. In this short but powerful sanity check, we unpack why cortisol is especially high in midlife - and what you can do to gently bring it down without needing a retreat, a full reset, or a complete life overhaul.

This episode is your reminder that calm is closer than you think. With a few small, science-backed tweaks, you can soothe your nervous system and feel more grounded - even on the busiest days.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Why cortisol spikes in midlife and what it’s really doing to your body and brain
  • The invisible mental load that keeps stress high, even when nothing “bad” is happening
  • Micro-habits that can lower cortisol and raise oxytocin (your feel-good hormone)
  • How to ground yourself in one minute using your senses
  • The surprising power of self-hugs, slow breaths, and kind self-talk

Listener Takeaways:

  • You don’t need to escape your life to reset your system - just start with one small shift
  • Understanding your body’s stress signals is a game-changer for your health and headspace
  • These rituals may seem tiny, but they’re powerful acts of self-respect

Join the Conversation:

Do you have a micro ritual that helps calm you down or bring you back to yourself? DM us on Instagram or share it in the WhatsApp group. We’d love to build a community bank of sanity-saving tips - because you’re not alone, and neither are we.

Download our FREE E-book Midlife Nervous System Reset:

https://stan.store/YouKeepMeSane/p/midlife-nervous-system-reset

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

Ever feel like you're living in survival mode - snappy, tired, and overwhelmed for no clear reason? You're not imagining it. That constant buzzing in your body might be cortisol, your stress hormone, running the show. In this short but powerful sanity check, we unpack why cortisol is especially high in midlife - and what you can do to gently bring it down without needing a retreat, a full reset, or a complete life overhaul.

This episode is your reminder that calm is closer than you think. With a few small, science-backed tweaks, you can soothe your nervous system and feel more grounded - even on the busiest days.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Why cortisol spikes in midlife and what it’s really doing to your body and brain
  • The invisible mental load that keeps stress high, even when nothing “bad” is happening
  • Micro-habits that can lower cortisol and raise oxytocin (your feel-good hormone)
  • How to ground yourself in one minute using your senses
  • The surprising power of self-hugs, slow breaths, and kind self-talk

Listener Takeaways:

  • You don’t need to escape your life to reset your system - just start with one small shift
  • Understanding your body’s stress signals is a game-changer for your health and headspace
  • These rituals may seem tiny, but they’re powerful acts of self-respect

Join the Conversation:

Do you have a micro ritual that helps calm you down or bring you back to yourself? DM us on Instagram or share it in the WhatsApp group. We’d love to build a community bank of sanity-saving tips - because you’re not alone, and neither are we.

Download our FREE E-book Midlife Nervous System Reset:

https://stan.store/YouKeepMeSane/p/midlife-nervous-system-reset

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17499639 Thu, 17 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0100 497 1 69 full false Clearing Space, Clearing Stress: The Mental Load of Mess | YKMS Clearing Space, Clearing Stress: The Mental Load of Mess | YKMS Episode Overview:

Ever looked around your home and felt your shoulders tense? You're not alone. In this episode, we sit down with Lauren from Perfect Space Home Organisation -  a professional organiser who brings more than tidy cupboards. She brings peace of mind.

We talk clutter, cortisol, and the emotional stories hiding in our cupboards. From junk drawers to inherited guilt, Lauren helps us unpack how physical mess contributes to mental stress, and how small changes can transform more than just your space.

This episode is a warm, honest chat about what your clutter might really be saying… and how you can begin letting go.

Key Discussion Points:

  • How clutter raises cortisol and how it affects women most
  • The mental load of “stuff” and how it impacts your day-to-day stress
  • The shame people feel around clutter (and why we need to ditch it)
  • Why perfection isn’t the goal - "your perfect space" is
  • Lauren’s gentle, judgment-free approach to helping people reset
  • Tips to start decluttering without overwhelm

Listener Takeaways:

  • Clutter isn’t just visual, it’s hormonal, emotional, and deeply personal
  • Letting go of “stuff” often means letting go of guilt, expectations, and shame
  • Start small: five things at a time can be enough
  • Ask: “Would I save this in a fire?” - if not, maybe it’s time to let it go
  • Decluttering isn’t indulgent, it’s emotional self-care

Join the Conversation:

Do you have a cluttered cupboard you’re avoiding? Or maybe a story about inherited items you can’t part with? We’d love to hear it. DM us or drop a voice note - let’s talk about the emotional side of tidying.

👉Follow Lauren at @perfectspacehomeorganisation
👉Check out her Amazon shop + WhatsApp community  via her website:

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

Ever looked around your home and felt your shoulders tense? You're not alone. In this episode, we sit down with Lauren from Perfect Space Home Organisation -  a professional organiser who brings more than tidy cupboards. She brings peace of mind.

We talk clutter, cortisol, and the emotional stories hiding in our cupboards. From junk drawers to inherited guilt, Lauren helps us unpack how physical mess contributes to mental stress, and how small changes can transform more than just your space.

This episode is a warm, honest chat about what your clutter might really be saying… and how you can begin letting go.

Key Discussion Points:

  • How clutter raises cortisol and how it affects women most
  • The mental load of “stuff” and how it impacts your day-to-day stress
  • The shame people feel around clutter (and why we need to ditch it)
  • Why perfection isn’t the goal - "your perfect space" is
  • Lauren’s gentle, judgment-free approach to helping people reset
  • Tips to start decluttering without overwhelm

Listener Takeaways:

  • Clutter isn’t just visual, it’s hormonal, emotional, and deeply personal
  • Letting go of “stuff” often means letting go of guilt, expectations, and shame
  • Start small: five things at a time can be enough
  • Ask: “Would I save this in a fire?” - if not, maybe it’s time to let it go
  • Decluttering isn’t indulgent, it’s emotional self-care

Join the Conversation:

Do you have a cluttered cupboard you’re avoiding? Or maybe a story about inherited items you can’t part with? We’d love to hear it. DM us or drop a voice note - let’s talk about the emotional side of tidying.

👉Follow Lauren at @perfectspacehomeorganisation
👉Check out her Amazon shop + WhatsApp community  via her website:

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17499575 Wed, 16 Jul 2025 14:00:00 +0100 2971 1 68 full false Why Do We Treat Single Women Like Something’s Gone Wrong? | Sanity Check No. 28 Why Do We Treat Single Women Like Something’s Gone Wrong? | Sanity Check No. 28 Episode Overview

Why do we still treat single women like they’re unfinished stories? In this week’s Sanity Check, we’re getting honest about the outdated assumptions around being single in midlife - and why choosing to stay true to yourself is far from a failure.

We reflect on a conversation Aileen had with a single friend who said it best: “I know peace now, and I’m not giving it up unless someone truly meets me where I’m at.”

If you’ve ever felt the pressure to explain your singleness, or found yourself asking a friend why they’re “still single”, this episode is a loving nudge to rethink the narrative.

What we cover:
– Why some women are choosing peace over partnership
– The cost of contorting yourself to be loved
– Why the question “Why are you still single?” needs to be retired
– What single women are actually protecting: energy, values, and joy
– How the dating landscape shifts in your 40s and 50s
– The double standard between men and women when it comes to singlehood

Listener takeaway:
Being single isn’t something to fix - it’s often a bold, conscious choice to honour your self-worth. And if you’re in a relationship, let this be a reminder to celebrate your single friends for their strength, not question their choices.

Join the Conversation

Know someone who's tired of hearing "I can't believe you're still single"? Send this episode their way.

And if you want more real talk like this, don’t forget to like, follow, and join our WhatsApp community. We’re here for the big conversations that matter.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

Why do we still treat single women like they’re unfinished stories? In this week’s Sanity Check, we’re getting honest about the outdated assumptions around being single in midlife - and why choosing to stay true to yourself is far from a failure.

We reflect on a conversation Aileen had with a single friend who said it best: “I know peace now, and I’m not giving it up unless someone truly meets me where I’m at.”

If you’ve ever felt the pressure to explain your singleness, or found yourself asking a friend why they’re “still single”, this episode is a loving nudge to rethink the narrative.

What we cover:
– Why some women are choosing peace over partnership
– The cost of contorting yourself to be loved
– Why the question “Why are you still single?” needs to be retired
– What single women are actually protecting: energy, values, and joy
– How the dating landscape shifts in your 40s and 50s
– The double standard between men and women when it comes to singlehood

Listener takeaway:
Being single isn’t something to fix - it’s often a bold, conscious choice to honour your self-worth. And if you’re in a relationship, let this be a reminder to celebrate your single friends for their strength, not question their choices.

Join the Conversation

Know someone who's tired of hearing "I can't believe you're still single"? Send this episode their way.

And if you want more real talk like this, don’t forget to like, follow, and join our WhatsApp community. We’re here for the big conversations that matter.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17456333 Thu, 10 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0100 601 1 67 full false The Grey Areas We Don’t Talk About: A Conversation on Consent & Self-Worth | YKMS The Grey Areas We Don’t Talk About: A Conversation on Consent & Self-Worth | YKMS Episode Overview

As mothers of teenagers, we’ve been thinking deeply about how consent, self-worth, and emotional literacy shape the choices our kids make. We remember our own adolescence - when being desirable felt like currency and boundaries were hard to define. It was easy to confuse attention with value, and even harder to say no when something didn’t feel right.

This week, we unpack all of that in a powerful conversation with Lucy Baxter - a film lecturer, filmmaker, and mother using virtual reality to help young people explore consent and emotional awareness in a whole new way.

Her work immerses teens in VR scenarios where they don’t just watch - they feel what it’s like to be in moments where consent is murky, pressure is building, and self-worth is on the line. It’s not about shame, it’s about giving them tools to navigate these situations with clarity and confidence.

Key Discussion Points

  • What virtual reality can teach us about empathy, consent, and emotional safety
  • How self-worth influences decisions in intimate situations
  • Why appearance and desirability are still shaping boundaries
  • Why boys need a voice in consent conversations too
  • The realities of porn culture, peer pressure, and online influence
  • What’s still missing in sex and relationship education

Listener Takeaways

  • Consent often lives in the grey - emotional literacy helps teens navigate it
  • When young people understand their worth, boundaries get easier
  • Emotional education isn’t optional, it’s essential for safer choices

About Lucy Baxter: 

Lucy is a film practice lecturer at Queen’s University Belfast and founder of Sensalience, a startup creating VR narratives for empathy training in the health and social care, justice and education sectors. After a long and award winning career in film and TV, Lucy moved into Academia and her PhD researc

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

As mothers of teenagers, we’ve been thinking deeply about how consent, self-worth, and emotional literacy shape the choices our kids make. We remember our own adolescence - when being desirable felt like currency and boundaries were hard to define. It was easy to confuse attention with value, and even harder to say no when something didn’t feel right.

This week, we unpack all of that in a powerful conversation with Lucy Baxter - a film lecturer, filmmaker, and mother using virtual reality to help young people explore consent and emotional awareness in a whole new way.

Her work immerses teens in VR scenarios where they don’t just watch - they feel what it’s like to be in moments where consent is murky, pressure is building, and self-worth is on the line. It’s not about shame, it’s about giving them tools to navigate these situations with clarity and confidence.

Key Discussion Points

  • What virtual reality can teach us about empathy, consent, and emotional safety
  • How self-worth influences decisions in intimate situations
  • Why appearance and desirability are still shaping boundaries
  • Why boys need a voice in consent conversations too
  • The realities of porn culture, peer pressure, and online influence
  • What’s still missing in sex and relationship education

Listener Takeaways

  • Consent often lives in the grey - emotional literacy helps teens navigate it
  • When young people understand their worth, boundaries get easier
  • Emotional education isn’t optional, it’s essential for safer choices

About Lucy Baxter: 

Lucy is a film practice lecturer at Queen’s University Belfast and founder of Sensalience, a startup creating VR narratives for empathy training in the health and social care, justice and education sectors. After a long and award winning career in film and TV, Lucy moved into Academia and her PhD researc

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17468042 Wed, 09 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0100 2987 1 66 full false Grief: The Ache That Doesn’t Expire | Sanity Check No. 27 Grief: The Ache That Doesn’t Expire | Sanity Check No. 27 Episode Overview
In this deeply personal Sanity Check, Aileen opens up about the long, layered experience of grief - particularly after losing both her parents. Together, we reflect on why grief makes people uncomfortable, how loss reshapes us, and why healing has no timeline. This one’s for anyone carrying the weight of grief, old or new.

In this episode:

  • Why losing a parent hits differently no matter your age
  • The grief that comes from change: countries, relationships, roles
  • How to support someone grieving when there’s nothing to fix

Listener Takeaways:

  • Grief doesn’t have an expiry date
  • You’re not broken if you’re still sad. You're human.
  • Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is just sit with someone in their pain

Join the Conversation
Feeling this one? Don’t go it alone. DM or email us and share your thoughts. 
And if someone you know is grieving, send this episode their way. Like, subscribe, and share. We’re here to listen.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this deeply personal Sanity Check, Aileen opens up about the long, layered experience of grief - particularly after losing both her parents. Together, we reflect on why grief makes people uncomfortable, how loss reshapes us, and why healing has no timeline. This one’s for anyone carrying the weight of grief, old or new.

In this episode:

  • Why losing a parent hits differently no matter your age
  • The grief that comes from change: countries, relationships, roles
  • How to support someone grieving when there’s nothing to fix

Listener Takeaways:

  • Grief doesn’t have an expiry date
  • You’re not broken if you’re still sad. You're human.
  • Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is just sit with someone in their pain

Join the Conversation
Feeling this one? Don’t go it alone. DM or email us and share your thoughts. 
And if someone you know is grieving, send this episode their way. Like, subscribe, and share. We’re here to listen.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17387887 Thu, 03 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0100 701 1 65 full false Mars, Venus & the Midlife Shift: What’s Driving the Rise in Divorce | YKMS Mars, Venus & the Midlife Shift: What’s Driving the Rise in Divorce | YKMS Episode Overview

In this raw and deeply reflective episode, Aileen and Julie explore a rising trend: why so many women in their 40s and 50s are re-evaluating long-term relationships. This isn’t about drama or scandal, it’s about identity, unmet emotional needs, and the quiet inner voice that often grows louder in midlife.

They unpack how perimenopause, shifting priorities, and decades of invisible labour can create a turning point. But this isn’t an episode about leaving, it’s about getting honest. For some, that leads to deeper connection. For others, it brings clarity that change is needed.

Wherever you land, this conversation offers compassion, perspective, and permission to ask the harder questions, without shame, guilt, or judgment.

Key Discussion Points

  • The quiet and calm nature of many midlife divorces
  • Why perimenopause can crack open emotional truths and expose relationship imbalances
  • Cultural shifts that empower women to leave what no longer fits
  • The emotional labour gap and how resentment builds
  • Speaking your truth vs. staying silent: how communication can shift everything or nothing
  • The role of shame and grief, even when you’re the one who leaves
  • Why the next generation of men may be better equipped for emotional partnership

Listener Takeaways

  • Your identity may shift - your relationship must evolve with it
  • You’re not alone in wanting more, even after decades of “getting through”
  • Leaving isn’t always about failure, it can be about growth
  • Speaking your truth is powerful, whether it leads to healing or clarity
  • It’s okay to ask: “Is this still the life I want?”

Join the Conversation

Are you navigating big shifts in your relationship? Send us a DM or email, we'd love to hear from you.
Share this episode with someone who needs to hear they’re not alone.
And if you loved this conversation, subscribe, rate, and leave us a review—it helps us reach more people like you.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this raw and deeply reflective episode, Aileen and Julie explore a rising trend: why so many women in their 40s and 50s are re-evaluating long-term relationships. This isn’t about drama or scandal, it’s about identity, unmet emotional needs, and the quiet inner voice that often grows louder in midlife.

They unpack how perimenopause, shifting priorities, and decades of invisible labour can create a turning point. But this isn’t an episode about leaving, it’s about getting honest. For some, that leads to deeper connection. For others, it brings clarity that change is needed.

Wherever you land, this conversation offers compassion, perspective, and permission to ask the harder questions, without shame, guilt, or judgment.

Key Discussion Points

  • The quiet and calm nature of many midlife divorces
  • Why perimenopause can crack open emotional truths and expose relationship imbalances
  • Cultural shifts that empower women to leave what no longer fits
  • The emotional labour gap and how resentment builds
  • Speaking your truth vs. staying silent: how communication can shift everything or nothing
  • The role of shame and grief, even when you’re the one who leaves
  • Why the next generation of men may be better equipped for emotional partnership

Listener Takeaways

  • Your identity may shift - your relationship must evolve with it
  • You’re not alone in wanting more, even after decades of “getting through”
  • Leaving isn’t always about failure, it can be about growth
  • Speaking your truth is powerful, whether it leads to healing or clarity
  • It’s okay to ask: “Is this still the life I want?”

Join the Conversation

Are you navigating big shifts in your relationship? Send us a DM or email, we'd love to hear from you.
Share this episode with someone who needs to hear they’re not alone.
And if you loved this conversation, subscribe, rate, and leave us a review—it helps us reach more people like you.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17387907 Wed, 02 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1343 1 64 full false Post-High Blues: Why We Crash After Good Things | Sanity Check Post-High Blues: Why We Crash After Good Things | Sanity Check Episode Overview:
You know that weird flat feeling after something great? A big event, a reunion, a dream trip… and then suddenly you’re back to real life, feeling unexpectedly low? This week’s Sanity Check dives into exactly that. After the excitement of the Podcast Show and finally being in the same room again, we open up about the emotional crash that followed.

In this short but powerful episode, we explore the psychology behind post-event letdown, why it happens, and how to move through it without shame or self-judgment.

What We Talk About:

  • The emotional comedown after something joyful or long-anticipated
  • Post-event letdown: what it is and why it’s so common
  • Why our brains crash after being on a high
  • The temptation to label the low as a problem and why it’s not
  • How to sit with the lull without spiralling
  • The beauty of allowing the landing, without needing to fix it

Listener Takeaways:

  • Feeling flat after something exciting isn’t a flaw, it’s a normal recalibration
  • Joy is often followed by quiet, and that quiet can feel like sadness
  • Don’t rush to fix or explain your feelings just ride the wave
  • Let yourself land, gently, with compassion

Join the Conversation:
Ever felt unexpectedly low after something wonderful? You’re not broken, you’re human. Drop us a message on socials or leave a voicemail, let’s talk about it. You can tune into this and every Sanity Check wherever you get your podcasts.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:
You know that weird flat feeling after something great? A big event, a reunion, a dream trip… and then suddenly you’re back to real life, feeling unexpectedly low? This week’s Sanity Check dives into exactly that. After the excitement of the Podcast Show and finally being in the same room again, we open up about the emotional crash that followed.

In this short but powerful episode, we explore the psychology behind post-event letdown, why it happens, and how to move through it without shame or self-judgment.

What We Talk About:

  • The emotional comedown after something joyful or long-anticipated
  • Post-event letdown: what it is and why it’s so common
  • Why our brains crash after being on a high
  • The temptation to label the low as a problem and why it’s not
  • How to sit with the lull without spiralling
  • The beauty of allowing the landing, without needing to fix it

Listener Takeaways:

  • Feeling flat after something exciting isn’t a flaw, it’s a normal recalibration
  • Joy is often followed by quiet, and that quiet can feel like sadness
  • Don’t rush to fix or explain your feelings just ride the wave
  • Let yourself land, gently, with compassion

Join the Conversation:
Ever felt unexpectedly low after something wonderful? You’re not broken, you’re human. Drop us a message on socials or leave a voicemail, let’s talk about it. You can tune into this and every Sanity Check wherever you get your podcasts.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17378685 Thu, 26 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0100 629 1 63 full false Real Connection – It isn’t a Luxury, it’s a Lifeline | YKMS Real Connection – It isn’t a Luxury, it’s a Lifeline | YKMS Episode Overview

In this episode, we unpack the kind of connection that changes us - the raw, real, healing kind. After spending time together at the Podcast Show in London, we reflect on what it felt like to be seen, heard, and held by strangers.

What started as a marketing moment turned into a powerful reminder of why we started You Keep Me Sane in the first place.

This episode is a love letter to those deep moments of “me too,” to the strangers who became kindred spirits, and to anyone feeling a little disconnected from themselves or the world around them.

Key Discussion Points

  • The surprising depth of conversations that happened at the Podcast Show (tears, vulnerability, and sofa chats included)
  • Why true connection is a biological and emotional lifeline, not a luxury
  • The loneliness epidemic, and how even when surrounded by people we can feel unseen
  • Why vulnerability is scary but essential if we want to be truly seen
  • The healing power of being held in presence, not performance
  • What a Harvard study revealed about relationships and long-term health
  • How real connection fuels self-worth and reminds us we’re already enough

Listener Takeaways

  • Real connection doesn’t need polish, it needs presence.
  • You don’t have to fix someone to hold space for them.
  • We are wired to connect and, when we do, our nervous systems calm, our walls drop, and we begin to heal.
  • If you’re feeling lonely, the first step back is often small: one question, one check-in, one brave “me too.”

Join the Conversation

If this episode speaks to you, we’d love you to share it with someone who might need a reminder that they matter too.

And tell us—when was the last time you felt really seen?

We’re always listening.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode, we unpack the kind of connection that changes us - the raw, real, healing kind. After spending time together at the Podcast Show in London, we reflect on what it felt like to be seen, heard, and held by strangers.

What started as a marketing moment turned into a powerful reminder of why we started You Keep Me Sane in the first place.

This episode is a love letter to those deep moments of “me too,” to the strangers who became kindred spirits, and to anyone feeling a little disconnected from themselves or the world around them.

Key Discussion Points

  • The surprising depth of conversations that happened at the Podcast Show (tears, vulnerability, and sofa chats included)
  • Why true connection is a biological and emotional lifeline, not a luxury
  • The loneliness epidemic, and how even when surrounded by people we can feel unseen
  • Why vulnerability is scary but essential if we want to be truly seen
  • The healing power of being held in presence, not performance
  • What a Harvard study revealed about relationships and long-term health
  • How real connection fuels self-worth and reminds us we’re already enough

Listener Takeaways

  • Real connection doesn’t need polish, it needs presence.
  • You don’t have to fix someone to hold space for them.
  • We are wired to connect and, when we do, our nervous systems calm, our walls drop, and we begin to heal.
  • If you’re feeling lonely, the first step back is often small: one question, one check-in, one brave “me too.”

Join the Conversation

If this episode speaks to you, we’d love you to share it with someone who might need a reminder that they matter too.

And tell us—when was the last time you felt really seen?

We’re always listening.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17378665 Wed, 25 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1318 1 62 full false When Growth Creates Distance | Sanity Check When Growth Creates Distance | Sanity Check Episode Overview

Ever opened up to someone only to be met with silence or worse, a thumbs up emoji? In this Sanity Check, we dive into the disappointment of emotional disconnection, especially when it comes from people we’re close to. We unpack the hard truth: not everyone has the emotional capacity to meet you where you're at - and it’s not about you.

This conversation is a compassionate reminder that your vulnerability is not too much, and choosing to protect your peace doesn’t make you cold. It makes you strong.


Key Discussion Points

  • Aileen’s story of opening up and getting… nothing back
  • Why some people simply don’t have the emotional tools to meet you
  • How growth can make you feel isolated from those who aren’t evolving
  • Letting go of expectations without letting go of love
  • Reframing disappointment by focusing on boundaries and self-honour
  • Why protecting your peace is an act of self-respect, not rejection


Listener Takeaways

  • It's not always personal. People meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves
  • You can't force connection, but you can choose your response
  • Letting go of the fantasy that others will change creates emotional freedom

Join the Conversation

Who in your life struggles to meet you emotionally? How do you handle that disappointment? DM us or leave a voice message—we’re always here to listen.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

Ever opened up to someone only to be met with silence or worse, a thumbs up emoji? In this Sanity Check, we dive into the disappointment of emotional disconnection, especially when it comes from people we’re close to. We unpack the hard truth: not everyone has the emotional capacity to meet you where you're at - and it’s not about you.

This conversation is a compassionate reminder that your vulnerability is not too much, and choosing to protect your peace doesn’t make you cold. It makes you strong.


Key Discussion Points

  • Aileen’s story of opening up and getting… nothing back
  • Why some people simply don’t have the emotional tools to meet you
  • How growth can make you feel isolated from those who aren’t evolving
  • Letting go of expectations without letting go of love
  • Reframing disappointment by focusing on boundaries and self-honour
  • Why protecting your peace is an act of self-respect, not rejection


Listener Takeaways

  • It's not always personal. People meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves
  • You can't force connection, but you can choose your response
  • Letting go of the fantasy that others will change creates emotional freedom

Join the Conversation

Who in your life struggles to meet you emotionally? How do you handle that disappointment? DM us or leave a voice message—we’re always here to listen.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17342219 Thu, 19 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0100 412 1 61 full false The Soft Life: Unpacking What It Really Means | YKMS The Soft Life: Unpacking What It Really Means | YKMS Episode Overview

Is it time to stop chasing “having it all” and start redefining what really matters? In this episode, we unpack the growing cultural shift away from hustle culture and into what many are calling the soft life  - a slower, more intentional way of living. We talk honestly about the tension between ambition and rest, how societal expectations have shaped women’s nervous systems, and why the soft life isn’t about giving up, it’s about tuning in.

From motherhood and single parenting to invisible labour, work stress, wellness fatigue and everything in between. This conversation is about coming back to what fills you up, not what drains you.


Key Discussion Points

  • What the soft life really means and why it’s not lazy or indulgent
  • The myth of “having it all” and the hidden costs of chasing it
  • How our nervous systems have been wired for busyness and how to start unwinding that
  • Why wellness culture can sometimes add to the burnout, not relieve it
  • The emotional toll of invisible labour, especially for midlife women
  • Redefining success and creating space for what truly matters
  • How small, daily choices (like a walk, a conversation, a breath) can be radical acts of reclaiming peace
  • Giving yourself permission to let go of expectations, overcommitments and pressure to prove
  • The soft life as a rebellion: choosing presence over productivity


Listener Takeaways

  • You don’t need to quit your job or move to the beach. The soft life starts with one choice at a time
  • Rest isn’t selfish, it’s essentiaL,  especially when your nervous system is always “on”
  • You’re not lazy for needing to slow down. You’re wise for listening to what your body and soul actually need
  • If “having it all” is leaving you scattered and depleted, maybe it’s time to redefine what all means to you


Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you. What does rest look like in your life right now? Message us on Instagram or leave a voicemail.

And don’t forget to like and subscribe and share this episode with someone you think needs to hear it!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

Is it time to stop chasing “having it all” and start redefining what really matters? In this episode, we unpack the growing cultural shift away from hustle culture and into what many are calling the soft life  - a slower, more intentional way of living. We talk honestly about the tension between ambition and rest, how societal expectations have shaped women’s nervous systems, and why the soft life isn’t about giving up, it’s about tuning in.

From motherhood and single parenting to invisible labour, work stress, wellness fatigue and everything in between. This conversation is about coming back to what fills you up, not what drains you.


Key Discussion Points

  • What the soft life really means and why it’s not lazy or indulgent
  • The myth of “having it all” and the hidden costs of chasing it
  • How our nervous systems have been wired for busyness and how to start unwinding that
  • Why wellness culture can sometimes add to the burnout, not relieve it
  • The emotional toll of invisible labour, especially for midlife women
  • Redefining success and creating space for what truly matters
  • How small, daily choices (like a walk, a conversation, a breath) can be radical acts of reclaiming peace
  • Giving yourself permission to let go of expectations, overcommitments and pressure to prove
  • The soft life as a rebellion: choosing presence over productivity


Listener Takeaways

  • You don’t need to quit your job or move to the beach. The soft life starts with one choice at a time
  • Rest isn’t selfish, it’s essentiaL,  especially when your nervous system is always “on”
  • You’re not lazy for needing to slow down. You’re wise for listening to what your body and soul actually need
  • If “having it all” is leaving you scattered and depleted, maybe it’s time to redefine what all means to you


Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you. What does rest look like in your life right now? Message us on Instagram or leave a voicemail.

And don’t forget to like and subscribe and share this episode with someone you think needs to hear it!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17342267 Wed, 18 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1911 1 60 full false Bone-Tired: The Exhaustion We Don’t Talk About | Sanity Check Bone-Tired: The Exhaustion We Don’t Talk About | Sanity Check Episode Overview:

In this candid Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the kind of exhaustion that sleep alone can’t fix. It’s not just the 3am perimenopause wake-ups, the Prosecco regrets, or the never-ending to-do list - it’s the deeper, invisible load that keeps us wired 24/7.

They unpack the toll of being constantly “on,” from anticipating everyone’s needs to never truly switching off, even when the kids are older. Whether it’s playing the role of juggler, chef, therapist, or clown, the emotional and nervous system load of motherhood and midlife deserves to be named and deeply acknowledged.

Key Discussion Points:

  • The difference between tiredness and “bone tired” exhaustion
  • Why full nights of sleep don’t always help and what else might be going on
  • The constant state of alert that mothers live in, even when no one’s calling their name
  • How single parenting, invisible labour, and midlife sensitivity amplify fatigue
  • Why real rest is more than just sitting down - it’s letting your body fully exhale

Listener Takeaways:

  • If you're feeling wiped out despite “doing nothing,” you're not alone or lazy
  • The mental and emotional toll of being permanently on alert is real
  • It’s okay to say you’re tired. You deserve rest that actually restores you
  • Being deeply fatigued doesn’t mean you love your kids any less
  • Rest isn’t indulgent, it’s a necessity for your nervous system

Join the Conversation:

Does this kind of tiredness sound familiar? Have you been carrying a load that no one sees?
Send us a DM or an email at hello@youkeepmesane.com, we’d love to hear how this resonates for you.
And if someone in your life needs to hear this, please pass it on.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this candid Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the kind of exhaustion that sleep alone can’t fix. It’s not just the 3am perimenopause wake-ups, the Prosecco regrets, or the never-ending to-do list - it’s the deeper, invisible load that keeps us wired 24/7.

They unpack the toll of being constantly “on,” from anticipating everyone’s needs to never truly switching off, even when the kids are older. Whether it’s playing the role of juggler, chef, therapist, or clown, the emotional and nervous system load of motherhood and midlife deserves to be named and deeply acknowledged.

Key Discussion Points:

  • The difference between tiredness and “bone tired” exhaustion
  • Why full nights of sleep don’t always help and what else might be going on
  • The constant state of alert that mothers live in, even when no one’s calling their name
  • How single parenting, invisible labour, and midlife sensitivity amplify fatigue
  • Why real rest is more than just sitting down - it’s letting your body fully exhale

Listener Takeaways:

  • If you're feeling wiped out despite “doing nothing,” you're not alone or lazy
  • The mental and emotional toll of being permanently on alert is real
  • It’s okay to say you’re tired. You deserve rest that actually restores you
  • Being deeply fatigued doesn’t mean you love your kids any less
  • Rest isn’t indulgent, it’s a necessity for your nervous system

Join the Conversation:

Does this kind of tiredness sound familiar? Have you been carrying a load that no one sees?
Send us a DM or an email at hello@youkeepmesane.com, we’d love to hear how this resonates for you.
And if someone in your life needs to hear this, please pass it on.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17308301 Thu, 12 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0100 622 1 59 full false Harder to Be Happy? It Might Be Your Wiring, Not Your Fault | YKMS Harder to Be Happy? It Might Be Your Wiring, Not Your Fault | YKMS Episode Overview:

In this episode, Aileen and Julie reflect on why some people seem naturally happier, while others (like themselves!) are built with layers, reflection, and emotional intensity. Through personal stories, laughter, and a dose of science, they explore how understanding emotional wiring can shift the way we experience happiness and relate to ourselves.

They also revisit a metaphor that’s stuck with them for years: are you an onion or a potato? It began as a throwaway comment by Julie's husband, but it’s grown into a powerful framework for understanding the different ways people process life, emotion, and joy.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Julie’s sister’s blunt but brilliant advice: “Calm the F down”
  • Why some people feel content with less, while others crave depth
  • The “onion vs. potato” metaphor: emotional complexity vs. grounded simplicity
  • The science behind Happiness Set Point Theory and what we can (and can’t) change
  • How upbringing, personality, and life experience shape our emotional landscape
  • Why it’s powerful to honour your wiring rather than trying to “fix” it
  • The importance of deep connection, especially when others process differently

Listener Takeaways:

  • Get curious about your emotional blueprint, do you lean toward simplicity or reflection?
  • Understand that overthinkers and seekers aren’t broken… they’re just layered
  • Release the idea that happiness is something to earn
  • Recognise the strengths in both “onion” and “potato” types
  • Embrace the idea that calm, grounded joy is just as meaningful as complex growth

Join the Conversation:

Are you more of an onion or a potato, or somewhere in between? Aileen and Julie would love to hear what resonates.

Send them a DM, leave a voicemail, or join their WhatsApp group (link in bio).

New here? Subscribe to You Keep Me Sane for honest, layered, and heartfelt conversations every week.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this episode, Aileen and Julie reflect on why some people seem naturally happier, while others (like themselves!) are built with layers, reflection, and emotional intensity. Through personal stories, laughter, and a dose of science, they explore how understanding emotional wiring can shift the way we experience happiness and relate to ourselves.

They also revisit a metaphor that’s stuck with them for years: are you an onion or a potato? It began as a throwaway comment by Julie's husband, but it’s grown into a powerful framework for understanding the different ways people process life, emotion, and joy.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Julie’s sister’s blunt but brilliant advice: “Calm the F down”
  • Why some people feel content with less, while others crave depth
  • The “onion vs. potato” metaphor: emotional complexity vs. grounded simplicity
  • The science behind Happiness Set Point Theory and what we can (and can’t) change
  • How upbringing, personality, and life experience shape our emotional landscape
  • Why it’s powerful to honour your wiring rather than trying to “fix” it
  • The importance of deep connection, especially when others process differently

Listener Takeaways:

  • Get curious about your emotional blueprint, do you lean toward simplicity or reflection?
  • Understand that overthinkers and seekers aren’t broken… they’re just layered
  • Release the idea that happiness is something to earn
  • Recognise the strengths in both “onion” and “potato” types
  • Embrace the idea that calm, grounded joy is just as meaningful as complex growth

Join the Conversation:

Are you more of an onion or a potato, or somewhere in between? Aileen and Julie would love to hear what resonates.

Send them a DM, leave a voicemail, or join their WhatsApp group (link in bio).

New here? Subscribe to You Keep Me Sane for honest, layered, and heartfelt conversations every week.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17308342 Wed, 11 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1699 1 58 full false Saying NO - Why Is It So Hard? | Sanity Check Saying NO - Why Is It So Hard? | Sanity Check Episode Overview

This listener-inspired Sanity Check explores the discomfort so many of us feel when it comes to saying no or speaking honestly. Aileen and Julie unpack the messy middle between people-pleasing and genuine empathy, and explore the deeper fears—like judgment, rejection, or letting someone down—that keep us stuck in yes-mode even when we're at capacity.

Whether you're someone who always says yes out of habit, fear, or heart, this episode offers research-backed insights and gentle reminders that you're not alone—and that boundaries are not a betrayal of kindness.

Key Discussion Points

  • Why we feel guilt or anxiety about saying no—even when it’s justified
  • The tug of war between wanting to help and protecting our own peace
  • People-pleasing vs. empathy—how to know what’s really driving you
  • Social rejection, shame, and conditioning: What the research says
  • The power of pausing and checking in with your actual capacity
  • How guilt can sometimes be a sign of growth
  • Speaking honestly with kindness and clarity

Listener Takeaways

  • Saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you honest
  • Notice when discomfort is old programming, not a present-day truth
  • Ask yourself: Am I afraid of being judged? Or am I truly concerned for the other person?
  • Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend: with understanding and compassion
  • Growth can feel like guilt—especially when you're not used to honouring your own needs

Join the Conversation

Have you struggled with saying no or speaking up? What helps you navigate the guilt? Drop us a message or leave us a DM—we’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. Let’s make boundary-setting feel a little less lonely.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

This listener-inspired Sanity Check explores the discomfort so many of us feel when it comes to saying no or speaking honestly. Aileen and Julie unpack the messy middle between people-pleasing and genuine empathy, and explore the deeper fears—like judgment, rejection, or letting someone down—that keep us stuck in yes-mode even when we're at capacity.

Whether you're someone who always says yes out of habit, fear, or heart, this episode offers research-backed insights and gentle reminders that you're not alone—and that boundaries are not a betrayal of kindness.

Key Discussion Points

  • Why we feel guilt or anxiety about saying no—even when it’s justified
  • The tug of war between wanting to help and protecting our own peace
  • People-pleasing vs. empathy—how to know what’s really driving you
  • Social rejection, shame, and conditioning: What the research says
  • The power of pausing and checking in with your actual capacity
  • How guilt can sometimes be a sign of growth
  • Speaking honestly with kindness and clarity

Listener Takeaways

  • Saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you honest
  • Notice when discomfort is old programming, not a present-day truth
  • Ask yourself: Am I afraid of being judged? Or am I truly concerned for the other person?
  • Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend: with understanding and compassion
  • Growth can feel like guilt—especially when you're not used to honouring your own needs

Join the Conversation

Have you struggled with saying no or speaking up? What helps you navigate the guilt? Drop us a message or leave us a DM—we’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. Let’s make boundary-setting feel a little less lonely.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17264442 Thu, 05 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0100 622 1 57 full false The Invisibility Cloak: Midlife, Visibility, and Redefining Worth | YKMS The Invisibility Cloak: Midlife, Visibility, and Redefining Worth | YKMS Episode Overview

In this deeply reflective episode, Aileen and Julie explore the quiet but powerful transition many women experience in midlife—the shift from being seen and celebrated for youth and appearance to becoming quietly overlooked by a culture that worships the new. But is this invisibility a loss… or a kind of liberation?

Through honest conversation and personal stories, they unpack what it means to feel unseen in a world that once watched your every move, and how this stage of life can offer something far richer: presence, peace, and purpose.

Key Discussion Points

  • The emotional impact of no longer being the center of cultural attention
  • Watching their daughters enter a world of visibility, hustle, and image pressure
  • The contrast between youth and midlife—performance vs. presence
  • Grief, freedom, and what we gain as we age
  • The idea of invisibility as a cloak we can choose to wear or shed
  • How midlife brings deeper intuition, discernment, and authentic friendships
  • Why being seen isn’t always about external eyes, but internal fullness


 Listener Takeaways

  • You’re not invisible—you’re evolving.
  • This phase is full of wisdom, grounding, and power, even if the world doesn’t applaud it.
  • Visibility doesn’t have to come from others—it can be something you claim for yourself.
  • The freedom to stop hustling for approval is a gift of age.
  • Ask yourself: What does visibility mean to you now?


Join the Conversation

We want to hear from you. What’s your relationship with visibility right now? Do you ever feel invisible—and if so, what helps?

  • DM us or drop a voice message.
  • Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this deeply reflective episode, Aileen and Julie explore the quiet but powerful transition many women experience in midlife—the shift from being seen and celebrated for youth and appearance to becoming quietly overlooked by a culture that worships the new. But is this invisibility a loss… or a kind of liberation?

Through honest conversation and personal stories, they unpack what it means to feel unseen in a world that once watched your every move, and how this stage of life can offer something far richer: presence, peace, and purpose.

Key Discussion Points

  • The emotional impact of no longer being the center of cultural attention
  • Watching their daughters enter a world of visibility, hustle, and image pressure
  • The contrast between youth and midlife—performance vs. presence
  • Grief, freedom, and what we gain as we age
  • The idea of invisibility as a cloak we can choose to wear or shed
  • How midlife brings deeper intuition, discernment, and authentic friendships
  • Why being seen isn’t always about external eyes, but internal fullness


 Listener Takeaways

  • You’re not invisible—you’re evolving.
  • This phase is full of wisdom, grounding, and power, even if the world doesn’t applaud it.
  • Visibility doesn’t have to come from others—it can be something you claim for yourself.
  • The freedom to stop hustling for approval is a gift of age.
  • Ask yourself: What does visibility mean to you now?


Join the Conversation

We want to hear from you. What’s your relationship with visibility right now? Do you ever feel invisible—and if so, what helps?

  • DM us or drop a voice message.
  • Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17264410 Wed, 04 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1360 1 56 full false Cortisol vs Oxytocin: The Daily Hormone Battle | Sanity Check Cortisol vs Oxytocin: The Daily Hormone Battle | Sanity Check Episode Overview:

In this mini Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the chemistry of your emotions—specifically the push-pull dance between cortisol and oxytocin. Whether you’ve felt constantly on edge, snappy, or totally burnt out, this episode breaks down what’s really happening in your body and why even small, mindful shifts can help you reset.

Key Talking Points:

  • Why cortisol rises in everyday situations—especially the chaotic after-school hours.
  • The role cortisol plays in anxiety, poor sleep, burnout, and even menopausal weight gain.
  • How oxytocin (the “hug hormone”) helps calm your system and restore emotional balance.
  • Easy, everyday ways to raise oxytocin: laughter, connection, touch, and mindfulness.
  • How being aware of your hormonal state can increase self-compassion and reduce self-judgment.
  • Personal stories from Aileen and Julie on what works for them (and when they know each other's cortisol is up!).

Listener Takeaways:

  • Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today to lower cortisol or raise oxytocin?
  • Notice your body: Can you feel when you shift into fight-or-flight?
  • Remember: It’s not just mental—it’s chemical. Go gently with yourself.
  • Try this: A walk with a friend, a deep breath, a long hug, a moment of laughter.

💬 Join the Conversation:

Got a go-to ritual that helps lower stress or boost connection? We’d love to hear it. Drop us a DM or voice note, or join our WhatsApp group for honest chats and daily support. Link in the show notes.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this mini Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the chemistry of your emotions—specifically the push-pull dance between cortisol and oxytocin. Whether you’ve felt constantly on edge, snappy, or totally burnt out, this episode breaks down what’s really happening in your body and why even small, mindful shifts can help you reset.

Key Talking Points:

  • Why cortisol rises in everyday situations—especially the chaotic after-school hours.
  • The role cortisol plays in anxiety, poor sleep, burnout, and even menopausal weight gain.
  • How oxytocin (the “hug hormone”) helps calm your system and restore emotional balance.
  • Easy, everyday ways to raise oxytocin: laughter, connection, touch, and mindfulness.
  • How being aware of your hormonal state can increase self-compassion and reduce self-judgment.
  • Personal stories from Aileen and Julie on what works for them (and when they know each other's cortisol is up!).

Listener Takeaways:

  • Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today to lower cortisol or raise oxytocin?
  • Notice your body: Can you feel when you shift into fight-or-flight?
  • Remember: It’s not just mental—it’s chemical. Go gently with yourself.
  • Try this: A walk with a friend, a deep breath, a long hug, a moment of laughter.

💬 Join the Conversation:

Got a go-to ritual that helps lower stress or boost connection? We’d love to hear it. Drop us a DM or voice note, or join our WhatsApp group for honest chats and daily support. Link in the show notes.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17154812 Thu, 29 May 2025 06:00:00 +0100 567 1 55 full false Let Them: Our Honest Take on the Viral Mantra | YKMS Let Them: Our Honest Take on the Viral Mantra | YKMS Episode Overview:

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive into the power behind Mel Robbins’ now-viral “Let Them Theory.” From navigating tricky relationships to handling judgement and unmet expectations, they explore why this simple mindset shift can be so freeing—and so hard to put into practice.

Drawing on their own stories of burnout, people-pleasing, and family conflict, they unpack how learning to “let them” has helped them reclaim their energy, protect their peace, and stop hustling for approval. It’s not about being passive—it’s about releasing control, embracing authenticity, and choosing yourself.

Key Discussion Points:

  • How the Let Them Theory became a tool in their personal growth journeys
  • Why detachment from outcomes isn't the same as detachment from love
  • The role of control in people-pleasing and over-explaining
  • Letting go of the need to be seen a certain way by others
  • The difference between surrender and checking out
  • Why “let them” doesn’t always apply—especially in parenting
  • How fear of rejection or judgement often drives over-efforting
  • Choosing yourself: protecting peace, energy, and authenticity
  • The difference between trying to keep people close vs. letting them drift
  • Using “let them” as a circuit-breaker for anxiety and self-doubt

Listener Takeaways:

  • You don’t have to fix or manage everyone’s reaction to you.
  • “Let them” is a powerful mindset to reclaim peace and clarity.
  • Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re a return to your centre.
  • Surrendering control doesn’t mean giving up—it means trusting more.
  • You can’t force connection. If it’s real, it doesn’t need chasing.

📱 Join the Conversation:

Have you tried embracing the Let Them mindset? Did it feel freeing or bring up guilt and discomfort? DM us or leave a voice note—we’d love to hear your take.

And don’t forget to join our WhatsApp community, where these deep, honest conversations continue.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive into the power behind Mel Robbins’ now-viral “Let Them Theory.” From navigating tricky relationships to handling judgement and unmet expectations, they explore why this simple mindset shift can be so freeing—and so hard to put into practice.

Drawing on their own stories of burnout, people-pleasing, and family conflict, they unpack how learning to “let them” has helped them reclaim their energy, protect their peace, and stop hustling for approval. It’s not about being passive—it’s about releasing control, embracing authenticity, and choosing yourself.

Key Discussion Points:

  • How the Let Them Theory became a tool in their personal growth journeys
  • Why detachment from outcomes isn't the same as detachment from love
  • The role of control in people-pleasing and over-explaining
  • Letting go of the need to be seen a certain way by others
  • The difference between surrender and checking out
  • Why “let them” doesn’t always apply—especially in parenting
  • How fear of rejection or judgement often drives over-efforting
  • Choosing yourself: protecting peace, energy, and authenticity
  • The difference between trying to keep people close vs. letting them drift
  • Using “let them” as a circuit-breaker for anxiety and self-doubt

Listener Takeaways:

  • You don’t have to fix or manage everyone’s reaction to you.
  • “Let them” is a powerful mindset to reclaim peace and clarity.
  • Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re a return to your centre.
  • Surrendering control doesn’t mean giving up—it means trusting more.
  • You can’t force connection. If it’s real, it doesn’t need chasing.

📱 Join the Conversation:

Have you tried embracing the Let Them mindset? Did it feel freeing or bring up guilt and discomfort? DM us or leave a voice note—we’d love to hear your take.

And don’t forget to join our WhatsApp community, where these deep, honest conversations continue.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17154834 Wed, 28 May 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1206 1 54 full false Introvert or Extrovert? Why It Matters More Than You Think | Sanity Check Introvert or Extrovert? Why It Matters More Than You Think | Sanity Check Episode Overview

In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what it really means to be an introvert or an extrovert—and why understanding the difference is essential for your mental health. It’s not about being shy or social—it’s about how you refill your tank. Whether you’ve been feeling flat, snappy, or overstimulated, this episode is a reminder to tune into what your nervous system actually needs.

Key Discussion Points

  • The myth that being outgoing = extroverted
  • Why stimulation isn’t the same as nourishment
  • The "low hum of depletion" and how it creeps in
  • Why introverts need solitude like oxygen
  • What happens when we override our natural energy patterns
  • How extroverts suffer from too much solitude
  • Learning to name your needs—without guilt


Listener Takeaways

  • Recharging isn’t selfish—it’s essential
  • Notice how you feel after social interactions: restored or drained?
  • Solitude can be a lifeline, not a luxury
  • Set boundaries to protect your energy before burnout hits
  • There’s no one-size-fits-all—figure out what actually works for you

💬 Join the Conversation

Are you an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between? How do you recharge best? We’d love to hear from you. Drop us a DM, leave a voicemail, or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what it really means to be an introvert or an extrovert—and why understanding the difference is essential for your mental health. It’s not about being shy or social—it’s about how you refill your tank. Whether you’ve been feeling flat, snappy, or overstimulated, this episode is a reminder to tune into what your nervous system actually needs.

Key Discussion Points

  • The myth that being outgoing = extroverted
  • Why stimulation isn’t the same as nourishment
  • The "low hum of depletion" and how it creeps in
  • Why introverts need solitude like oxygen
  • What happens when we override our natural energy patterns
  • How extroverts suffer from too much solitude
  • Learning to name your needs—without guilt


Listener Takeaways

  • Recharging isn’t selfish—it’s essential
  • Notice how you feel after social interactions: restored or drained?
  • Solitude can be a lifeline, not a luxury
  • Set boundaries to protect your energy before burnout hits
  • There’s no one-size-fits-all—figure out what actually works for you

💬 Join the Conversation

Are you an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between? How do you recharge best? We’d love to hear from you. Drop us a DM, leave a voicemail, or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17148434 Thu, 22 May 2025 06:00:00 +0100 480 1 53 full false Betrayal Isn’t Always Loud — But It Always Hurts | YKMS Betrayal Isn’t Always Loud — But It Always Hurts | YKMS Episode Overview:

Betrayal is one of those words that immediately stirs something in us. In this episode, Julie and Aileen unpack the many forms betrayal can take — not just romantic, but the kind that happens quietly in families, friendships, and formative moments. From overheard conversations to cruel friendship dynamics, they reflect on how early betrayals shaped their sense of self-worth and trust in others. They also respond to a heartfelt listener letter that touches on public ridicule from family — a pain that runs deep and lingers for years.

This is a conversation for anyone who’s ever felt blindsided by someone they trusted, and anyone trying to find their way back to themselves after the damage has been done.


Key Discussion Points:

  • The betrayal that isn’t loud — but lingers the longest
  • Aileen’s childhood story of overhearing her mum betray her trust
  • How betrayal shapes our sense of safety, trust, and identity
  • Julie’s experience of friendship betrayals and becoming guarded
  • The listener story that sparked this episode — being ridiculed by family in public
  • The long-term impact of betrayal on self-worth and vulnerability
  • Coping mechanisms: from hyper-independence to isolation
  • Practical tips for healing: boundaries, processing pain, forgiveness, and self-trust


Listener Takeaways:

  • Betrayal doesn’t have to be dramatic to be devastating
  • It often starts young — and shapes how we see ourselves and the world
  • Healing begins when we name the hurt, separate it from our identity, and reclaim our self-worth
  • You can forgive without forgetting — and without allowing repeat access
  • You are not alone in this — and it wasn’t your fault


📩 Join the Conversation:

Have you experienced betrayal in a way that changed you? We’d love to hear your story. DM us, email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com, or leave us a voicemail. The more we talk about this, the less alone we feel.

💛 If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

Betrayal is one of those words that immediately stirs something in us. In this episode, Julie and Aileen unpack the many forms betrayal can take — not just romantic, but the kind that happens quietly in families, friendships, and formative moments. From overheard conversations to cruel friendship dynamics, they reflect on how early betrayals shaped their sense of self-worth and trust in others. They also respond to a heartfelt listener letter that touches on public ridicule from family — a pain that runs deep and lingers for years.

This is a conversation for anyone who’s ever felt blindsided by someone they trusted, and anyone trying to find their way back to themselves after the damage has been done.


Key Discussion Points:

  • The betrayal that isn’t loud — but lingers the longest
  • Aileen’s childhood story of overhearing her mum betray her trust
  • How betrayal shapes our sense of safety, trust, and identity
  • Julie’s experience of friendship betrayals and becoming guarded
  • The listener story that sparked this episode — being ridiculed by family in public
  • The long-term impact of betrayal on self-worth and vulnerability
  • Coping mechanisms: from hyper-independence to isolation
  • Practical tips for healing: boundaries, processing pain, forgiveness, and self-trust


Listener Takeaways:

  • Betrayal doesn’t have to be dramatic to be devastating
  • It often starts young — and shapes how we see ourselves and the world
  • Healing begins when we name the hurt, separate it from our identity, and reclaim our self-worth
  • You can forgive without forgetting — and without allowing repeat access
  • You are not alone in this — and it wasn’t your fault


📩 Join the Conversation:

Have you experienced betrayal in a way that changed you? We’d love to hear your story. DM us, email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com, or leave us a voicemail. The more we talk about this, the less alone we feel.

💛 If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-17148394 Wed, 21 May 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1694 1 52 full false Breaking Point: How Our Lowest Moments Spark the Biggest Change | SC Breaking Point: How Our Lowest Moments Spark the Biggest Change | SC Episode Overview

In this episode, Julie and Aileen reflect on those moments in life where everything feels like too much — when you're overwhelmed, disconnected, or just not yourself. Inspired by a Mel Robbins quote, they explore the idea that feeling lost is often the beginning of finding your way back — or forward — to a stronger, wiser version of yourself.

Whether it’s the chaos of parenting, a life change, or the slow build-up of a thousand small stresses, this conversation is a reminder that these low points can be turning points — if we let them.

Key Discussion Points

  • Why we often feel most lost right before something shifts
  • The importance of sitting with discomfort instead of rushing to fix it
  • How life transitions like moves, breakups, and burnout can spark growth
  • Personal stories of feeling unmoored — and how clarity eventually came
  • The quiet wisdom in letting go of old identities to make space for what’s next

💡 Listener Takeaways

  • Feeling lost isn’t a sign you’re broken — it’s part of becoming
  • Not all breakdowns are dramatic — sometimes it’s the subtle unraveling that leads to strength
  • If you're in the midst of heaviness, it doesn't mean you're at the end — you could be on the edge of a new beginning
  • Let yourself pause. Let yourself be. That might be the bravest thing you do right now.


Join the Conversation


Are you going through a season of uncertainty or feeling unsteady on your path? We’d love to hear your story. Leave us a voicemail or DM — we’re here to listen.
And if this episode spoke to you, share it with someone else who might need the reminder: being lost might just be the start of finding something beautiful.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode, Julie and Aileen reflect on those moments in life where everything feels like too much — when you're overwhelmed, disconnected, or just not yourself. Inspired by a Mel Robbins quote, they explore the idea that feeling lost is often the beginning of finding your way back — or forward — to a stronger, wiser version of yourself.

Whether it’s the chaos of parenting, a life change, or the slow build-up of a thousand small stresses, this conversation is a reminder that these low points can be turning points — if we let them.

Key Discussion Points

  • Why we often feel most lost right before something shifts
  • The importance of sitting with discomfort instead of rushing to fix it
  • How life transitions like moves, breakups, and burnout can spark growth
  • Personal stories of feeling unmoored — and how clarity eventually came
  • The quiet wisdom in letting go of old identities to make space for what’s next

💡 Listener Takeaways

  • Feeling lost isn’t a sign you’re broken — it’s part of becoming
  • Not all breakdowns are dramatic — sometimes it’s the subtle unraveling that leads to strength
  • If you're in the midst of heaviness, it doesn't mean you're at the end — you could be on the edge of a new beginning
  • Let yourself pause. Let yourself be. That might be the bravest thing you do right now.


Join the Conversation


Are you going through a season of uncertainty or feeling unsteady on your path? We’d love to hear your story. Leave us a voicemail or DM — we’re here to listen.
And if this episode spoke to you, share it with someone else who might need the reminder: being lost might just be the start of finding something beautiful.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17141271 Thu, 15 May 2025 06:00:00 +0100 594 1 51 full false Pleasure vs Happiness: Why We’re Chasing the Wrong Thing | YKMS Pleasure vs Happiness: Why We’re Chasing the Wrong Thing | YKMS Episode Overview:

In this deeply honest conversation, Aileen and Julie explore a powerful realisation about the difference between pleasureand happiness. Triggered by a reel on dopamine vs serotonin, the chat unpacks how chasing short-term highs can leave us feeling emptier than ever—especially during perimenopause and other identity-shifting life stages. This episode offers a compassionate lens on our coping mechanisms and a gentle invitation to start seeking what actually sustains us.


Key Discussion Points:

▪️ Dopamine vs Serotonin — What they are, how they affect us, and why this distinction matters.
▪️ The Trap of Quick Fixes — From food and alcohol to likes on social media, how we chase pleasure thinking it's happiness.
▪️ Hormonal Shifts & Midlife — Why perimenopause can bring our coping patterns into sharper focus.
▪️ Parenting in a Dopamine World — Reflections on teens, screen addiction, and fast gratification.
▪️ Real-Life Reflections — Personal stories of travel anxiety, shifting desires, and finding joy in simplicity.
▪️ Happiness as a Slow Burn — Why authentic happiness is quieter, and how to recognise it in everyday moments.
▪️ Practical Tools — Mindfulness, gratitude, purpose, and small serotonin-boosting rituals that reconnect us to ourselves.

Listener Takeaways:

🔹 You’re not failing if you don’t feel happy all the time.
🔹 Start asking: Is this soothing me… or sustaining me?
🔹 Swap one dopamine-driven habit this week for something slower and deeper—like a walk, a cuddle, or a moment of stillness.
🔹 Awareness is the first step toward change—and even just noticing your patterns is a powerful act of self-care.


💌 Join the Conversation:

Have you had your own ‘aha’ moment around this? Are you stuck in the dopamine loop? We’d love to hear from you. DM us or leave a voicemail—we're here to listen.

🎧 Listen now and don’t forget to like, subscribe and share with a friend who might need this gentle nudge toward something more lasting.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this deeply honest conversation, Aileen and Julie explore a powerful realisation about the difference between pleasureand happiness. Triggered by a reel on dopamine vs serotonin, the chat unpacks how chasing short-term highs can leave us feeling emptier than ever—especially during perimenopause and other identity-shifting life stages. This episode offers a compassionate lens on our coping mechanisms and a gentle invitation to start seeking what actually sustains us.


Key Discussion Points:

▪️ Dopamine vs Serotonin — What they are, how they affect us, and why this distinction matters.
▪️ The Trap of Quick Fixes — From food and alcohol to likes on social media, how we chase pleasure thinking it's happiness.
▪️ Hormonal Shifts & Midlife — Why perimenopause can bring our coping patterns into sharper focus.
▪️ Parenting in a Dopamine World — Reflections on teens, screen addiction, and fast gratification.
▪️ Real-Life Reflections — Personal stories of travel anxiety, shifting desires, and finding joy in simplicity.
▪️ Happiness as a Slow Burn — Why authentic happiness is quieter, and how to recognise it in everyday moments.
▪️ Practical Tools — Mindfulness, gratitude, purpose, and small serotonin-boosting rituals that reconnect us to ourselves.

Listener Takeaways:

🔹 You’re not failing if you don’t feel happy all the time.
🔹 Start asking: Is this soothing me… or sustaining me?
🔹 Swap one dopamine-driven habit this week for something slower and deeper—like a walk, a cuddle, or a moment of stillness.
🔹 Awareness is the first step toward change—and even just noticing your patterns is a powerful act of self-care.


💌 Join the Conversation:

Have you had your own ‘aha’ moment around this? Are you stuck in the dopamine loop? We’d love to hear from you. DM us or leave a voicemail—we're here to listen.

🎧 Listen now and don’t forget to like, subscribe and share with a friend who might need this gentle nudge toward something more lasting.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17141266 Wed, 14 May 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1670 1 50 full false Is This Even a Holiday? Redefining the Term to Fit This Life Stage | Sanity Check Is This Even a Holiday? Redefining the Term to Fit This Life Stage | Sanity Check Episode Overview

In this short but honest Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what taking a holiday really means when you're juggling a business, parenting, and the relentless mental load of modern life. From Aileen’s seaside escape in Spain (featuring a surprise meerkat) to Julie’s chaotic family visit up north, both share how even time away doesn’t always mean switching off.

They explore the guilt, the pressure, the impossibility of true rest—and why we need to redefine what a break looks like in this phase of life.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why it’s so hard to truly disconnect as a mum and business owner
  • The pressure to “use” holidays productively (and the guilt when we don’t)
  • How rest might look different now—an hour alone, a change of scene, a walk by the sea
  • The 35,000 decisions we make daily—and how even reducing one can feel like a win
  • Why redefining rest is essential for our sanity, even if it’s imperfect


Listener Takeaways

  • You don’t need to earn rest—you just need to allow it.
  • A holiday doesn’t have to look like a postcard to count.
  • Even small, imperfect moments of letting go can be enough.
  • Stop measuring the success of a break by how rested you feel.
  • The mental load doesn’t clock off—but you can give yourself permission to pause.

Join the Conversation

What does a real break look like for you? We’d love to know.
DM us on Instagram or leave us a voice note with your thoughts.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder—send them this episode. 💛

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this short but honest Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what taking a holiday really means when you're juggling a business, parenting, and the relentless mental load of modern life. From Aileen’s seaside escape in Spain (featuring a surprise meerkat) to Julie’s chaotic family visit up north, both share how even time away doesn’t always mean switching off.

They explore the guilt, the pressure, the impossibility of true rest—and why we need to redefine what a break looks like in this phase of life.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why it’s so hard to truly disconnect as a mum and business owner
  • The pressure to “use” holidays productively (and the guilt when we don’t)
  • How rest might look different now—an hour alone, a change of scene, a walk by the sea
  • The 35,000 decisions we make daily—and how even reducing one can feel like a win
  • Why redefining rest is essential for our sanity, even if it’s imperfect


Listener Takeaways

  • You don’t need to earn rest—you just need to allow it.
  • A holiday doesn’t have to look like a postcard to count.
  • Even small, imperfect moments of letting go can be enough.
  • Stop measuring the success of a break by how rested you feel.
  • The mental load doesn’t clock off—but you can give yourself permission to pause.

Join the Conversation

What does a real break look like for you? We’d love to know.
DM us on Instagram or leave us a voice note with your thoughts.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder—send them this episode. 💛

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17097324 Fri, 09 May 2025 02:00:00 +0100 706 1 49 full false The Silent Shift: Body, Identity, and Midlife | YKMS The Silent Shift: Body, Identity, and Midlife | YKMS Episode Overview

This week, we’re diving deep into the menopausal middle—the physical, emotional, and psychological shift that happens during perimenopause. What started as a simple sanity check sparked a huge response from our listeners, so we’re going further.

We’re talking about the silent confusion, the disorienting body changes, the grief, and the unexpected loss of identity that so many of us are experiencing—but rarely speaking about. From belly fat to brain fog, muscle loss to mood shifts, and even a re-evaluation of friendships, we share what’s helped us and why we need to approach this season with gentleness, honesty, and a hell of a lot of grace.

Key Discussion Points

  • Why body changes in midlife feel so destabilising
  • The silent identity shift behind the weight and wardrobe stress
  • The lasting impact of dieting and why strength training matters now
  • The emotional toll: grief, confusion, and unexpected loss
  • How shifting friendships reflect who we’re becoming
  • Our go-to tips for feeling better—inside and out
  • Reframing midlife as a transition, not a decline

Listener Takeaways

  • You’re not alone—millions of women feel this shift
  • This isn’t about willpower—it’s biology and identity
  • Small changes can create real relief
  • Rest and nervous system care matter as much as protein and training
  • This phase may feel messy—but it’s not the end. It’s a becoming.

💬 Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear how this stage is showing up in your life. Are you feeling the shift? What’s helped you feel more yourself again?

Drop us a voice note or DM—and share this with someone who needs to hear they’re not alone.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

This week, we’re diving deep into the menopausal middle—the physical, emotional, and psychological shift that happens during perimenopause. What started as a simple sanity check sparked a huge response from our listeners, so we’re going further.

We’re talking about the silent confusion, the disorienting body changes, the grief, and the unexpected loss of identity that so many of us are experiencing—but rarely speaking about. From belly fat to brain fog, muscle loss to mood shifts, and even a re-evaluation of friendships, we share what’s helped us and why we need to approach this season with gentleness, honesty, and a hell of a lot of grace.

Key Discussion Points

  • Why body changes in midlife feel so destabilising
  • The silent identity shift behind the weight and wardrobe stress
  • The lasting impact of dieting and why strength training matters now
  • The emotional toll: grief, confusion, and unexpected loss
  • How shifting friendships reflect who we’re becoming
  • Our go-to tips for feeling better—inside and out
  • Reframing midlife as a transition, not a decline

Listener Takeaways

  • You’re not alone—millions of women feel this shift
  • This isn’t about willpower—it’s biology and identity
  • Small changes can create real relief
  • Rest and nervous system care matter as much as protein and training
  • This phase may feel messy—but it’s not the end. It’s a becoming.

💬 Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear how this stage is showing up in your life. Are you feeling the shift? What’s helped you feel more yourself again?

Drop us a voice note or DM—and share this with someone who needs to hear they’re not alone.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17097320 Wed, 07 May 2025 04:00:00 +0100 1871 1 48 full false No One Warned Us About This Phase: Perimenopause Meets Teenagers | Sanity Check No One Warned Us About This Phase: Perimenopause Meets Teenagers | Sanity Check Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check episode, Julie and Aileen dive into the hormonal chaos that hits when perimenopause and parenting teenagers collide. It's the messy middle no one warned us about—when your body feels like it’s breaking down just as your kids are ramping up. From brain fog to teen meltdowns, they share the raw, relatable truth about trying to hold it all together when everyone under the roof is riding a hormonal rollercoaster.

🔑 Key Discussion Points:

  • The double whammy of navigating perimenopause while raising hormonal teenagers.
  • Feeling blindsided by brain fog, mood swings, anxiety, and exhaustion—and not knowing what hit you.
  • Why no one prepared us for this brutal life stage overlap.
  • How societal narratives (think cranky fairy-tale witches) reflect deep-rooted stereotypes about older women.
  • The emotional strength we do gain during this season—and why it’s often overlooked.
  • The importance of female friendships and honest conversations to survive this hormonal storm.
  • Hope from the other side: what gets better and why it’s not all downhill from here.
  • Reframing the chaos as a powerful shedding of what no longer serves us.

💬 Listener Takeaways:

  • You're not alone if you're crying in the car while your teen slams the door. This stage is hard, and that doesn't mean you're failing.
  • Talk about it—with friends, with us, with anyone who gets it. We need each other more than ever in this season.
  • Take heart: on the other side of this storm is clarity, power, and a deep knowing of who you are.
  • Be kind to yourself. You’re going through a massive transformation while holding a family together. That’s no small feat.


📣 Join the Conversation:

Have you felt this hormonal collision in your own life?
Leave us a voicemail or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.
We’d love to hear from you and share your thoughts in a future episode. 💛

And don’t forget to subscribe, share, and send this to a friend who needs to know she’s not the only one feeling like she’s losing it some days.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check episode, Julie and Aileen dive into the hormonal chaos that hits when perimenopause and parenting teenagers collide. It's the messy middle no one warned us about—when your body feels like it’s breaking down just as your kids are ramping up. From brain fog to teen meltdowns, they share the raw, relatable truth about trying to hold it all together when everyone under the roof is riding a hormonal rollercoaster.

🔑 Key Discussion Points:

  • The double whammy of navigating perimenopause while raising hormonal teenagers.
  • Feeling blindsided by brain fog, mood swings, anxiety, and exhaustion—and not knowing what hit you.
  • Why no one prepared us for this brutal life stage overlap.
  • How societal narratives (think cranky fairy-tale witches) reflect deep-rooted stereotypes about older women.
  • The emotional strength we do gain during this season—and why it’s often overlooked.
  • The importance of female friendships and honest conversations to survive this hormonal storm.
  • Hope from the other side: what gets better and why it’s not all downhill from here.
  • Reframing the chaos as a powerful shedding of what no longer serves us.

💬 Listener Takeaways:

  • You're not alone if you're crying in the car while your teen slams the door. This stage is hard, and that doesn't mean you're failing.
  • Talk about it—with friends, with us, with anyone who gets it. We need each other more than ever in this season.
  • Take heart: on the other side of this storm is clarity, power, and a deep knowing of who you are.
  • Be kind to yourself. You’re going through a massive transformation while holding a family together. That’s no small feat.


📣 Join the Conversation:

Have you felt this hormonal collision in your own life?
Leave us a voicemail or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.
We’d love to hear from you and share your thoughts in a future episode. 💛

And don’t forget to subscribe, share, and send this to a friend who needs to know she’s not the only one feeling like she’s losing it some days.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17054197 Thu, 01 May 2025 06:00:00 +0100 701 1 47 full false Self-Compassion: The Grace We Struggle to Give Ourselves | YKMS Self-Compassion: The Grace We Struggle to Give Ourselves | YKMS  Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie respond to a heartfelt listener letter asking a powerful question: Why is self-compassion so hard, even when we know it's important?

They explore how deeply ingrained beliefs—from childhood conditioning to societal pressure—can make kindness toward ourselves feel indulgent or even weak. But what if self-compassion is actually the bravest, most radical thing we can offer ourselves?

With honesty, vulnerability, and plenty of relatable moments, they break down the difference between self-compassion and self-indulgence, share personal stories of spirals, shame, and small acts of grace—and offer tangible ways to start flipping the script.

💬 Key Discussion Points

  • Why self-compassion is often harder than showing compassion to others
  • The voice in our heads: learning to interrupt self-criticism
  • How compassion is not indulgence—but strength and support
  • Real-life examples of freezing, spiralling, and finding grace
  • The difference between pushing through and pausing
  • Practical tools for practising self-compassion in daily life

🌱 Listener Takeaways

  • Self-compassion isn’t a reward—it’s a lifeline when you're struggling
  • You don’t have to earn your worth; it’s already yours
  • Small shifts (like noticing your inner critic or putting a hand on your heart) can create big change
  • Asking yourself “What would I say to a friend?” can help reframe harsh self-talk
  • True compassion empowers us—it helps us move forward, not fall apart


📣 Join the Conversation

What’s one way you could show yourself more compassion this week?

We’d love to hear from you—send us a DM or leave a voicemail. And if this episode resonated, please subscribe, share it with a friend, and help us spread the message that you are already enough.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]>  Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie respond to a heartfelt listener letter asking a powerful question: Why is self-compassion so hard, even when we know it's important?

They explore how deeply ingrained beliefs—from childhood conditioning to societal pressure—can make kindness toward ourselves feel indulgent or even weak. But what if self-compassion is actually the bravest, most radical thing we can offer ourselves?

With honesty, vulnerability, and plenty of relatable moments, they break down the difference between self-compassion and self-indulgence, share personal stories of spirals, shame, and small acts of grace—and offer tangible ways to start flipping the script.

💬 Key Discussion Points

  • Why self-compassion is often harder than showing compassion to others
  • The voice in our heads: learning to interrupt self-criticism
  • How compassion is not indulgence—but strength and support
  • Real-life examples of freezing, spiralling, and finding grace
  • The difference between pushing through and pausing
  • Practical tools for practising self-compassion in daily life

🌱 Listener Takeaways

  • Self-compassion isn’t a reward—it’s a lifeline when you're struggling
  • You don’t have to earn your worth; it’s already yours
  • Small shifts (like noticing your inner critic or putting a hand on your heart) can create big change
  • Asking yourself “What would I say to a friend?” can help reframe harsh self-talk
  • True compassion empowers us—it helps us move forward, not fall apart


📣 Join the Conversation

What’s one way you could show yourself more compassion this week?

We’d love to hear from you—send us a DM or leave a voicemail. And if this episode resonated, please subscribe, share it with a friend, and help us spread the message that you are already enough.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-17054012 Wed, 30 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1318 1 46 full false Redefining Productivity: What Counts as 'Enough' | Sanity Check Redefining Productivity: What Counts as 'Enough' | Sanity Check Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check episode, we take a closer look at the push and pull between busyness and perceived laziness. Following the response to our episode on exhaustion as a status symbol, we explore the idea of productivity—how we define it, how we tie our worth to it, and how we can start shifting the way we measure a 'good day.'

Key Discussion Points:

  • The Productivity Trap: Why so many of us feel like we haven't done enough, even when we've checked everything off the list.
  • Invisible Labor & Self-Worth: The challenge of feeling satisfied with productivity when the work is intangible, such as emotional caregiving or simply being present.
  • Redefining Success: Shifting from valuing only tangible accomplishments to recognizing rest, connection, and well-being as equally productive.
  • Breaking the Cycle: How to challenge old conditioning and give ourselves credit for the unseen but deeply valuable aspects of daily life.
  • Practical Reframes: Simple mindset shifts and daily check-ins to ensure we're honoring ourselves rather than just our to-do lists.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Productivity isn’t just about what you do; it’s about how you feel doing it.
  • Rest, connection, and presence matter as much as tangible achievements.
  • It’s okay to unlearn the belief that constant busyness equals worthiness.
  • Small shifts—like acknowledging your needs each day—can make a big difference.
  • You are enough, even on the days where nothing gets checked off.


Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear from you! What does ‘enough’ look like for you these days? Drop us a DM or leave a voicemail. And if this resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

And if you need help to feel like you are enough, download our FREE e-book:

ENOUGH - Just As You Are - https://www.youkeepmesane.com/shop/

Thanks for being here—see you next time!

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check episode, we take a closer look at the push and pull between busyness and perceived laziness. Following the response to our episode on exhaustion as a status symbol, we explore the idea of productivity—how we define it, how we tie our worth to it, and how we can start shifting the way we measure a 'good day.'

Key Discussion Points:

  • The Productivity Trap: Why so many of us feel like we haven't done enough, even when we've checked everything off the list.
  • Invisible Labor & Self-Worth: The challenge of feeling satisfied with productivity when the work is intangible, such as emotional caregiving or simply being present.
  • Redefining Success: Shifting from valuing only tangible accomplishments to recognizing rest, connection, and well-being as equally productive.
  • Breaking the Cycle: How to challenge old conditioning and give ourselves credit for the unseen but deeply valuable aspects of daily life.
  • Practical Reframes: Simple mindset shifts and daily check-ins to ensure we're honoring ourselves rather than just our to-do lists.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Productivity isn’t just about what you do; it’s about how you feel doing it.
  • Rest, connection, and presence matter as much as tangible achievements.
  • It’s okay to unlearn the belief that constant busyness equals worthiness.
  • Small shifts—like acknowledging your needs each day—can make a big difference.
  • You are enough, even on the days where nothing gets checked off.


Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear from you! What does ‘enough’ look like for you these days? Drop us a DM or leave a voicemail. And if this resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

And if you need help to feel like you are enough, download our FREE e-book:

ENOUGH - Just As You Are - https://www.youkeepmesane.com/shop/

Thanks for being here—see you next time!

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16971983 Thu, 24 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0100 591 1 45 full false So Much Guilt! – Even When We Haven’t Done Anything Wrong | YKMS So Much Guilt! – Even When We Haven’t Done Anything Wrong | YKMS Episode Overview:

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive deep into the weight of guilt—how we carry it, why we feel it, and whether it’s even the right word for what we’re experiencing. They explore how guilt is often misplaced, ingrained in us from childhood, and tied to expectations that may not even be ours. Is it actually guilt, or is it just sadness, regret, or feeling bad? And how do we begin to let it go?

Key Discussion Points:

🔹 The Difference Between Guilt and Feeling Bad – Are we actually doing something wrong, or are we just reacting emotionally to life’s complexities?
🔹 The Heavy Weight of Guilt – How guilt creeps into motherhood, relationships, work, and even daily decisions like missing a workout or canceling plans.
🔹 Guilt as a Habit, Not a Truth – The societal and cultural conditioning that teaches us to feel guilty for simply existing.
🔹 Constructive vs. Destructive Guilt – When guilt is useful (motivating repair or change) versus when it’s an unnecessary energy drain.
🔹 Practical Steps to Let Go of Guilt – How reframing, self-compassion, and open conversations can help lighten the load.

Listener Takeaways:

  •  Ask yourself: Have I actually done something wrong? If not, it’s not guilt—it’s just a feeling that needs acknowledgment.
  • Challenge ingrained guilt—where does it come from? Cultural norms, childhood conditioning, or societal expectations?
  • If guilt motivates positive change, use it. If it just weighs you down, let it go.
  • Talking about guilt with someone you trust can strip it of its power.

Join the Conversation:

What role does guilt play in your life? Have you been labeling sadness or regret as guilt? We’d love to hear from you! Send us a message or leave a voicemail.

And if you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Remember, you don’t need to carry guilt to prove you care—you are already enough.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive deep into the weight of guilt—how we carry it, why we feel it, and whether it’s even the right word for what we’re experiencing. They explore how guilt is often misplaced, ingrained in us from childhood, and tied to expectations that may not even be ours. Is it actually guilt, or is it just sadness, regret, or feeling bad? And how do we begin to let it go?

Key Discussion Points:

🔹 The Difference Between Guilt and Feeling Bad – Are we actually doing something wrong, or are we just reacting emotionally to life’s complexities?
🔹 The Heavy Weight of Guilt – How guilt creeps into motherhood, relationships, work, and even daily decisions like missing a workout or canceling plans.
🔹 Guilt as a Habit, Not a Truth – The societal and cultural conditioning that teaches us to feel guilty for simply existing.
🔹 Constructive vs. Destructive Guilt – When guilt is useful (motivating repair or change) versus when it’s an unnecessary energy drain.
🔹 Practical Steps to Let Go of Guilt – How reframing, self-compassion, and open conversations can help lighten the load.

Listener Takeaways:

  •  Ask yourself: Have I actually done something wrong? If not, it’s not guilt—it’s just a feeling that needs acknowledgment.
  • Challenge ingrained guilt—where does it come from? Cultural norms, childhood conditioning, or societal expectations?
  • If guilt motivates positive change, use it. If it just weighs you down, let it go.
  • Talking about guilt with someone you trust can strip it of its power.

Join the Conversation:

What role does guilt play in your life? Have you been labeling sadness or regret as guilt? We’d love to hear from you! Send us a message or leave a voicemail.

And if you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Remember, you don’t need to carry guilt to prove you care—you are already enough.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16980002 Wed, 23 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0100 1615 1 44 full false The Menopausal Middle: Our Bodies Changed the Rules (and We Weren’t Ready) | Sanity Check The Menopausal Middle: Our Bodies Changed the Rules (and We Weren’t Ready) | Sanity Check Episode Overview

In this episode of Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into a frustrating yet deeply relatable topic—the stubborn menopausal middle. They share their personal experiences of how their bodies have completely changed the rules, making it harder than ever to maintain weight or fit into the clothes they’ve always worn. While they’ve done a lot of work on body image and self-worth, the disconnect between how they feel mentally and what’s happening physically is real. Together, they unpack the emotional, practical, and identity-based challenges that come with these changes—and explore how to navigate this transition with more self-compassion and less control.

Key Discussion Points:

  • When the old rules stop working – The diets, workouts, and habits that once worked suddenly have no impact.
  • The emotional impact – It’s not just about weight; it’s about identity, confidence, and feeling at home in your own body.
  • The unpredictability factor – Weight fluctuations, fluid retention, and how stress and cortisol play a massive role.
  • Reframing the focus – Shifting from trying to control your body to prioritizing health, strength, and feeling good.
  • Finding what works for you – From mindful movement and stress management to adjusting styles and embracing change.

Listener Takeaways:

  • You’re not alone. If your body is changing in ways you don’t recognize, you’re not imagining it—and you’re not the only one struggling.
  • Self-compassion over control. Letting go of the need to ‘fix’ your body and instead focusing on what feels good.
  • Trial and error is key. What works for one person might not work for another—it's about listening to your body.
  • Keep the conversation going. Body changes in midlife aren’t widely discussed, but they should be.


Join the Conversation

Have you noticed changes in your body that feel completely foreign? What’s helped you navigate this transition? We’d love to hear your experiences. DM us or leave a comment—we’re in this together.

💬 Let’s talk about it.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode of Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into a frustrating yet deeply relatable topic—the stubborn menopausal middle. They share their personal experiences of how their bodies have completely changed the rules, making it harder than ever to maintain weight or fit into the clothes they’ve always worn. While they’ve done a lot of work on body image and self-worth, the disconnect between how they feel mentally and what’s happening physically is real. Together, they unpack the emotional, practical, and identity-based challenges that come with these changes—and explore how to navigate this transition with more self-compassion and less control.

Key Discussion Points:

  • When the old rules stop working – The diets, workouts, and habits that once worked suddenly have no impact.
  • The emotional impact – It’s not just about weight; it’s about identity, confidence, and feeling at home in your own body.
  • The unpredictability factor – Weight fluctuations, fluid retention, and how stress and cortisol play a massive role.
  • Reframing the focus – Shifting from trying to control your body to prioritizing health, strength, and feeling good.
  • Finding what works for you – From mindful movement and stress management to adjusting styles and embracing change.

Listener Takeaways:

  • You’re not alone. If your body is changing in ways you don’t recognize, you’re not imagining it—and you’re not the only one struggling.
  • Self-compassion over control. Letting go of the need to ‘fix’ your body and instead focusing on what feels good.
  • Trial and error is key. What works for one person might not work for another—it's about listening to your body.
  • Keep the conversation going. Body changes in midlife aren’t widely discussed, but they should be.


Join the Conversation

Have you noticed changes in your body that feel completely foreign? What’s helped you navigate this transition? We’d love to hear your experiences. DM us or leave a comment—we’re in this together.

💬 Let’s talk about it.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-16919774 Thu, 17 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0100 788 1 43 full false The Weight of Expectations: Breaking Free from What No Longer Serves You | YKMS The Weight of Expectations: Breaking Free from What No Longer Serves You | YKMS Episode Overview 

Have you ever felt like certain people expect more from you than they do from others? Maybe your family still sees you as the one who always shows up, or your friends assume you’ll always make the effort, even when life has changed. In this episode, we unpack the hidden weight of expectations—where they come from, how they get reinforced, and why it’s so difficult to shift them.

We also explore how expectations play out in different areas of life—family, friendships, work, parenting—and why resetting them is so crucial for our well-being. Whether it's learning to say no, setting boundaries, or simply letting go of the pressure to be everything for everyone, this episode will help you reflect on where expectations may be holding you back.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Where expectations come from – Why certain people expect more from us than others.
  • The role we’ve played in shaping expectations – Have we unknowingly reinforced them?
  • Family dynamics – How old roles keep us stuck and why change is hard.
  • Friendship & work expectations – How to reset them when life shifts.
  • Parenting & expectations – Teaching kids about boundaries while checking our own pressures on them.
  • Societal expectations on women – The pressure to be everything and how to let go of what doesn’t serve us.
  • Practical ways to reset expectations – Communicating boundaries and updating the version of ourselves others see.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Reflect on the expectations in your life—are they fair, and do they still serve you?
  • Identify whether you’ve unknowingly reinforced expectations that no longer work for you.
  • Learn to communicate shifts in your availability, priorities, or needs.
  • Recognize when people are simply taking advantage and how to set firmer boundaries.
  • Understand that letting go of outdated expectations isn’t about making others happy—it’s about honoring your own needs.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch easily.

Join the Conversation

Do you struggle with managing expectations in your life? Have you ever had to reset boundaries in a big way? We’d love to hear from you!

📩 Send us a DM or voice message
📧 Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

If you found this episode helpful, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave us a review—it really helps us grow. Thanks for being her

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview 

Have you ever felt like certain people expect more from you than they do from others? Maybe your family still sees you as the one who always shows up, or your friends assume you’ll always make the effort, even when life has changed. In this episode, we unpack the hidden weight of expectations—where they come from, how they get reinforced, and why it’s so difficult to shift them.

We also explore how expectations play out in different areas of life—family, friendships, work, parenting—and why resetting them is so crucial for our well-being. Whether it's learning to say no, setting boundaries, or simply letting go of the pressure to be everything for everyone, this episode will help you reflect on where expectations may be holding you back.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Where expectations come from – Why certain people expect more from us than others.
  • The role we’ve played in shaping expectations – Have we unknowingly reinforced them?
  • Family dynamics – How old roles keep us stuck and why change is hard.
  • Friendship & work expectations – How to reset them when life shifts.
  • Parenting & expectations – Teaching kids about boundaries while checking our own pressures on them.
  • Societal expectations on women – The pressure to be everything and how to let go of what doesn’t serve us.
  • Practical ways to reset expectations – Communicating boundaries and updating the version of ourselves others see.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Reflect on the expectations in your life—are they fair, and do they still serve you?
  • Identify whether you’ve unknowingly reinforced expectations that no longer work for you.
  • Learn to communicate shifts in your availability, priorities, or needs.
  • Recognize when people are simply taking advantage and how to set firmer boundaries.
  • Understand that letting go of outdated expectations isn’t about making others happy—it’s about honoring your own needs.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch easily.

Join the Conversation

Do you struggle with managing expectations in your life? Have you ever had to reset boundaries in a big way? We’d love to hear from you!

📩 Send us a DM or voice message
📧 Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

If you found this episode helpful, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave us a review—it really helps us grow. Thanks for being her

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16919765 Wed, 16 Apr 2025 05:00:00 +0100 1421 1 42 full false Feeling a Lack of Joy? Let’s Talk About Anhedonia | Sanity Check Feeling a Lack of Joy? Let’s Talk About Anhedonia | Sanity Check Episode Overview

Have you ever felt like the things that used to bring you joy just… don’t anymore? Like you’re going through the motions, but the spark is gone? That’s anhedonia—the inability to feel pleasure from things that once made you happy. In this episode, we dive into what anhedonia really is, why it happens, and how to gently invite joy back into your life.

We also discuss the work of Dr. Judith Joseph, a psychiatrist who has helped shed light on this experience. Her insights helped us recognize what we were going through—and might help you, too.

Key Discussion Points

  • What is anhedonia? The emotional numbness that makes life feel distant.
  • Our personal experiences with anhedonia and how we realized what was happening.
  • Why it’s not just “feeling down”—how it differs from sadness or a rough patch.
  • The connection between anhedonia and stress, burnout, depression, and perimenopause.
  • The guilt of not feeling joy, especially as a parent.
  • Why ‘snapping out of it’ doesn’t work and how self-criticism makes it worse.
  • Small steps that help—how to reconnect with life without forcing joy.
  • The importance of naming it, seeking connection, and getting support.

Listener Takeaways

  • You are not broken—anhedonia is a symptom, not your identity.
  • Naming it is powerful—it helps separate the feeling from who you are.
  • Small, gentle actions can help—listening to a song, sitting with a loved one, reaching out to a friend.
  • Connection is key—even when you don’t feel like it.
  • It’s temporary—you won’t feel like this forever.
  • Professional support can make a difference when anhedonia feels overwhelming.

Join the Conversation

Have you experienced anhedonia? What has helped you reconnect with joy? We'd love to hear from you! Send us a message or leave us a voicemail—we always love hearing from you.

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, share, and leave a review. You never know who might need to hear this today.


Sources & Further Reading

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

Have you ever felt like the things that used to bring you joy just… don’t anymore? Like you’re going through the motions, but the spark is gone? That’s anhedonia—the inability to feel pleasure from things that once made you happy. In this episode, we dive into what anhedonia really is, why it happens, and how to gently invite joy back into your life.

We also discuss the work of Dr. Judith Joseph, a psychiatrist who has helped shed light on this experience. Her insights helped us recognize what we were going through—and might help you, too.

Key Discussion Points

  • What is anhedonia? The emotional numbness that makes life feel distant.
  • Our personal experiences with anhedonia and how we realized what was happening.
  • Why it’s not just “feeling down”—how it differs from sadness or a rough patch.
  • The connection between anhedonia and stress, burnout, depression, and perimenopause.
  • The guilt of not feeling joy, especially as a parent.
  • Why ‘snapping out of it’ doesn’t work and how self-criticism makes it worse.
  • Small steps that help—how to reconnect with life without forcing joy.
  • The importance of naming it, seeking connection, and getting support.

Listener Takeaways

  • You are not broken—anhedonia is a symptom, not your identity.
  • Naming it is powerful—it helps separate the feeling from who you are.
  • Small, gentle actions can help—listening to a song, sitting with a loved one, reaching out to a friend.
  • Connection is key—even when you don’t feel like it.
  • It’s temporary—you won’t feel like this forever.
  • Professional support can make a difference when anhedonia feels overwhelming.

Join the Conversation

Have you experienced anhedonia? What has helped you reconnect with joy? We'd love to hear from you! Send us a message or leave us a voicemail—we always love hearing from you.

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, share, and leave a review. You never know who might need to hear this today.


Sources & Further Reading

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16919711 Thu, 10 Apr 2025 05:00:00 +0100 517 1 41 full false When the Past Calls, Don’t Answer: Embracing Who You Are Now | YKMS When the Past Calls, Don’t Answer: Embracing Who You Are Now | YKMS Episode Overview
Ever feel like you become a past version of yourself around certain people or places? In this episode, we explore why we unconsciously shrink to fit old roles, especially with family or longtime friends. Inspired by a powerful listener letter, we talk about shifting identities, letting go of outdated labels, and the courage it takes to fully step into who you are now.

Key Discussion Points

  • A listener’s story about reverting to their old self at home
  • Why we fall back into habits around certain people
  • The discomfort of being seen as your “past self”
  • Unconscious roles and outdated labels from childhood
  • Gossip as default behaviour—and why it’s hard to quit
  • How to update your self-image and reclaim your present identity

Listener Takeaways

  • Question old self-beliefs—they might not be true anymore
  • You’re allowed to grow and change—give yourself that permission
  • Notice when you're playing outdated roles—and step out of them
  • Stand firm in who you are now, even if others don’t see it yet
  • Surround yourself with people who honour your growth

Join the Conversation

What’s one outdated belief about yourself that you need to rewrite? And if you’re struggling to change, is it because you still believe the old story—or because the people around you do?

Send us an email at hello@youkeepmesane.com
DM us or leave us a voicemail with your thoughts

📢 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who might need a little permission to grow!

Resources Mentioned

  • Gabor Maté’s concept of connection vs. authenticity
  • Note to Self (our upcoming book!) Watch this space…

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
Ever feel like you become a past version of yourself around certain people or places? In this episode, we explore why we unconsciously shrink to fit old roles, especially with family or longtime friends. Inspired by a powerful listener letter, we talk about shifting identities, letting go of outdated labels, and the courage it takes to fully step into who you are now.

Key Discussion Points

  • A listener’s story about reverting to their old self at home
  • Why we fall back into habits around certain people
  • The discomfort of being seen as your “past self”
  • Unconscious roles and outdated labels from childhood
  • Gossip as default behaviour—and why it’s hard to quit
  • How to update your self-image and reclaim your present identity

Listener Takeaways

  • Question old self-beliefs—they might not be true anymore
  • You’re allowed to grow and change—give yourself that permission
  • Notice when you're playing outdated roles—and step out of them
  • Stand firm in who you are now, even if others don’t see it yet
  • Surround yourself with people who honour your growth

Join the Conversation

What’s one outdated belief about yourself that you need to rewrite? And if you’re struggling to change, is it because you still believe the old story—or because the people around you do?

Send us an email at hello@youkeepmesane.com
DM us or leave us a voicemail with your thoughts

📢 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who might need a little permission to grow!

Resources Mentioned

  • Gabor Maté’s concept of connection vs. authenticity
  • Note to Self (our upcoming book!) Watch this space…

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16919697 Wed, 09 Apr 2025 05:00:00 +0100 2132 1 40 full false Perimenopause: Just When We Thought We’d Heard It All! | Sanity Check Perimenopause: Just When We Thought We’d Heard It All! | Sanity Check Episode Overview

Just when you think you’ve heard it all, perimenopause throws in a few more surprises—rashes and breathlessness! In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into these lesser-known symptoms, sharing their own experiences, frustrations, and what they’ve found helps (or doesn’t). If you’ve ever wondered why your skin suddenly erupts into chaos or why you’re out of breath just existing, you’re not alone!

Key Discussion Points

  • Aileen’s mysterious rash – An itchy, red, and inflamed reaction that appeared out of nowhere and refuses to leave.
  • Julie’s itchy legs – Years of unexplained skin irritation, later linked to perimenopause.
  • Breathlessness – Aileen shares how simple activities, even talking, are suddenly leaving her winded.
  • The missing conversation – Why aren’t doctors warning us about these symptoms? And what if men experienced this?
  • What helps – Cooling gels, hydration, avoiding inflammatory foods, and slow breathing techniques.

Listener Takeaways

  • Perimenopause affects skin elasticity and moisture levels, leading to rashes and irritation.
  • Estrogen plays a role in lung function—when it dips, breathlessness can occur.
  • Many symptoms go unrecognized and unacknowledged, making it even more frustrating to find solutions.
  • The importance of talking about it—raising awareness so more women know what to expect.

Join the Conversation

Have you experienced unexplained rashes, breathlessness, or other unexpected perimenopause symptoms? Have you found anything that helps? We’d love to hear from you! Send us a DM, leave a comment, or drop us a voice note. Let’s make this a conversation, not a solitary struggle.

🎧 Thanks for tuning in to You Keep Me Sane! Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with anyone who needs to hear it.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

Just when you think you’ve heard it all, perimenopause throws in a few more surprises—rashes and breathlessness! In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into these lesser-known symptoms, sharing their own experiences, frustrations, and what they’ve found helps (or doesn’t). If you’ve ever wondered why your skin suddenly erupts into chaos or why you’re out of breath just existing, you’re not alone!

Key Discussion Points

  • Aileen’s mysterious rash – An itchy, red, and inflamed reaction that appeared out of nowhere and refuses to leave.
  • Julie’s itchy legs – Years of unexplained skin irritation, later linked to perimenopause.
  • Breathlessness – Aileen shares how simple activities, even talking, are suddenly leaving her winded.
  • The missing conversation – Why aren’t doctors warning us about these symptoms? And what if men experienced this?
  • What helps – Cooling gels, hydration, avoiding inflammatory foods, and slow breathing techniques.

Listener Takeaways

  • Perimenopause affects skin elasticity and moisture levels, leading to rashes and irritation.
  • Estrogen plays a role in lung function—when it dips, breathlessness can occur.
  • Many symptoms go unrecognized and unacknowledged, making it even more frustrating to find solutions.
  • The importance of talking about it—raising awareness so more women know what to expect.

Join the Conversation

Have you experienced unexplained rashes, breathlessness, or other unexpected perimenopause symptoms? Have you found anything that helps? We’d love to hear from you! Send us a DM, leave a comment, or drop us a voice note. Let’s make this a conversation, not a solitary struggle.

🎧 Thanks for tuning in to You Keep Me Sane! Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with anyone who needs to hear it.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16887562 Thu, 03 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0100 772 1 39 full false Health Anxiety & Mammograms: A Game-Changing Solution with Naomi Cosman | YKMS Health Anxiety & Mammograms: A Game-Changing Solution with Naomi Cosman | YKMS Episode Overview

Routine health checks can be a major source of anxiety, especially for women. Mammograms, pap smears, and other screenings come with emotional weight, discomfort, and sometimes even fear. In this episode, we dive into the reality of health anxiety and the barriers preventing many women from getting their regular breast exams.

We’re joined by Naomi Cosman, Global Head of Marketing & Investor Relations at Koning Corporation, to discuss a groundbreaking new technology that’s changing the way women experience breast screening. Say goodbye to painful, outdated mammograms—this is the future of breast health.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Reality of Health Anxiety – How routine health screenings can become a significant source of stress for women.
  • The Mammogram Experience – From painful compression to long wait times for results, why so many women avoid these essential tests.
  • The Shocking Stats – Up to 50% of women skip their annual mammograms due to discomfort and fear.
  • A Game-Changing Solution – The Koning Vera Breast CT: no compression, no pain, real 3D imaging, and faster results.
  • Why This Matters – Early detection saves lives, but only if women are getting screened.
  • What’s Next? – When and where this technology will be available in Australia, the UK, and beyond.

Listener Takeaways

💡 Mammograms miss up to 30% of breast cancers—and up to 70% in women with dense breasts.
💡 The Koning Vera Breast CT eliminates pain and provides more accurate imaging, making breast screening less stressful and more effective.
💡 It’s time for women to advocate for better healthcare solutions—because we deserve medical care that prioritizes comfort and accuracy.

Links

🔗 Learn more about Koning Health and the Vera Breast CT: Koning Health

Join the Conversation

Have you ever skipped a mammogram due to discomfort or fear? Do you think this new technology could help more women take control of their health? Let’s talk!

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend—especially someone who dreads their mammograms. The more we talk about this, the more we can push for better healthcare options for women everywhere.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

Routine health checks can be a major source of anxiety, especially for women. Mammograms, pap smears, and other screenings come with emotional weight, discomfort, and sometimes even fear. In this episode, we dive into the reality of health anxiety and the barriers preventing many women from getting their regular breast exams.

We’re joined by Naomi Cosman, Global Head of Marketing & Investor Relations at Koning Corporation, to discuss a groundbreaking new technology that’s changing the way women experience breast screening. Say goodbye to painful, outdated mammograms—this is the future of breast health.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Reality of Health Anxiety – How routine health screenings can become a significant source of stress for women.
  • The Mammogram Experience – From painful compression to long wait times for results, why so many women avoid these essential tests.
  • The Shocking Stats – Up to 50% of women skip their annual mammograms due to discomfort and fear.
  • A Game-Changing Solution – The Koning Vera Breast CT: no compression, no pain, real 3D imaging, and faster results.
  • Why This Matters – Early detection saves lives, but only if women are getting screened.
  • What’s Next? – When and where this technology will be available in Australia, the UK, and beyond.

Listener Takeaways

💡 Mammograms miss up to 30% of breast cancers—and up to 70% in women with dense breasts.
💡 The Koning Vera Breast CT eliminates pain and provides more accurate imaging, making breast screening less stressful and more effective.
💡 It’s time for women to advocate for better healthcare solutions—because we deserve medical care that prioritizes comfort and accuracy.

Links

🔗 Learn more about Koning Health and the Vera Breast CT: Koning Health

Join the Conversation

Have you ever skipped a mammogram due to discomfort or fear? Do you think this new technology could help more women take control of their health? Let’s talk!

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend—especially someone who dreads their mammograms. The more we talk about this, the more we can push for better healthcare options for women everywhere.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-16887531 Wed, 02 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0100 2295 1 38 full false From Shutdown to Calm: Pulling Yourself Back from Anxiety | Sanity Check From Shutdown to Calm: Pulling Yourself Back from Anxiety | Sanity Check Episode Overview

In this episode of Sanity Check, Julie opens up about her recent struggles with anxiety—how it’s been creeping back in despite years of managing it well. She and Aileen discuss the common triggers that can bring anxiety back, the signs to watch for, and practical steps to stop it from spiraling. They also share personal experiences, tools, and small but impactful strategies to calm the nervous system and regain balance.

Key Discussion Points

  • How anxiety can unexpectedly return even when you’ve learned to manage it
  • Recognizing early warning signs and physical symptoms
  • Julie’s personal anxiety “toolkit” and how she uses it to regain balance
  • The role of overcommitment, lack of alone time, and lifestyle changes in triggering anxiety
  • Small, practical shifts that can help—like breathing exercises, movement, reducing caffeine, and reassessing your to-do list
  • Techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, the 3-3-3 rule, and vagus nerve activation
  • The power of connection—why reaching out (even with a simple message) can make a difference

Listener Takeaways

  • Anxiety doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it just means you need to check in with yourself again.
  • Small, simple steps can help break the cycle—start with one change instead of overwhelming yourself.
  • Tools like movement, breathwork, journaling, and nervous system support can help ease anxiety.
  • You’re not alone—talking about it, even in a small way, can be a powerful shift.


Join the Conversation

If this episode resonated with you, we’d love to hear from you! Send us a DM or voicemail and tell us what works for you when anxiety flares up. And if you know someone who might need this, please share this episode with them.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode of Sanity Check, Julie opens up about her recent struggles with anxiety—how it’s been creeping back in despite years of managing it well. She and Aileen discuss the common triggers that can bring anxiety back, the signs to watch for, and practical steps to stop it from spiraling. They also share personal experiences, tools, and small but impactful strategies to calm the nervous system and regain balance.

Key Discussion Points

  • How anxiety can unexpectedly return even when you’ve learned to manage it
  • Recognizing early warning signs and physical symptoms
  • Julie’s personal anxiety “toolkit” and how she uses it to regain balance
  • The role of overcommitment, lack of alone time, and lifestyle changes in triggering anxiety
  • Small, practical shifts that can help—like breathing exercises, movement, reducing caffeine, and reassessing your to-do list
  • Techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, the 3-3-3 rule, and vagus nerve activation
  • The power of connection—why reaching out (even with a simple message) can make a difference

Listener Takeaways

  • Anxiety doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it just means you need to check in with yourself again.
  • Small, simple steps can help break the cycle—start with one change instead of overwhelming yourself.
  • Tools like movement, breathwork, journaling, and nervous system support can help ease anxiety.
  • You’re not alone—talking about it, even in a small way, can be a powerful shift.


Join the Conversation

If this episode resonated with you, we’d love to hear from you! Send us a DM or voicemail and tell us what works for you when anxiety flares up. And if you know someone who might need this, please share this episode with them.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16847472 Thu, 27 Mar 2025 05:00:00 +0000 844 1 37 full false Rethinking Addiction: From Judgment to Understanding | YKMS Rethinking Addiction: From Judgment to Understanding | YKMS Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie take a deep dive into the concept of addiction—not just in the traditional sense of substance abuse but in the broader context of human behavior. Drawing inspiration from Gabor Maté’s work, they explore addiction as a response to pain rather than a failure of willpower. From sugar and shopping to busyness and technology, they examine the ways addiction manifests in everyday life and how it connects to unresolved trauma.

  • Redefining Addiction: It’s more than just drugs or alcohol—work, shopping, and screens can also be addictive.
  • The Root of Addiction: It’s a way to escape deep-seated pain or trauma, not a lack of willpower.
  • Personal Journeys: Aileen shares her struggles with sugar, while Julie explores how busyness became her coping mechanism.
  • The Dopamine Cycle: Why our brains crave quick relief, even when it harms us.
  • Breaking the Cycle: True recovery starts with addressing the root cause, not just stopping the habit.
  • Healing Approaches: Self-awareness, mindfulness, and finding support systems are key to overcoming addiction.

Listener Takeaways

  • Addiction isn’t about weakness—it’s a way of coping.
  • Judgment doesn’t help—compassion and understanding do.
  • Small, consistent steps can help break the cycle.
  • Healing requires addressing why we turn to addictive behaviors.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch easily.

BetterHelp carefully vets their therapists and has over 7,000 reviews with a 4.5-star rating on TrustPilot. 

Join the Conversation

What are your thoughts on addiction? Share your insights with us—DM or comment on Instagram!

If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share with someone who might need to hear this.

🎧 Catch us next week for another honest conversation on life’s challenges.

Sources & Further Reading

  1. Gabor Maté, M.D.
    • In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction (2008)
    • When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress (2003)
    • The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture (2022)
  2. Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie take a deep dive into the concept of addiction—not just in the traditional sense of substance abuse but in the broader context of human behavior. Drawing inspiration from Gabor Maté’s work, they explore addiction as a response to pain rather than a failure of willpower. From sugar and shopping to busyness and technology, they examine the ways addiction manifests in everyday life and how it connects to unresolved trauma.

  • Redefining Addiction: It’s more than just drugs or alcohol—work, shopping, and screens can also be addictive.
  • The Root of Addiction: It’s a way to escape deep-seated pain or trauma, not a lack of willpower.
  • Personal Journeys: Aileen shares her struggles with sugar, while Julie explores how busyness became her coping mechanism.
  • The Dopamine Cycle: Why our brains crave quick relief, even when it harms us.
  • Breaking the Cycle: True recovery starts with addressing the root cause, not just stopping the habit.
  • Healing Approaches: Self-awareness, mindfulness, and finding support systems are key to overcoming addiction.

Listener Takeaways

  • Addiction isn’t about weakness—it’s a way of coping.
  • Judgment doesn’t help—compassion and understanding do.
  • Small, consistent steps can help break the cycle.
  • Healing requires addressing why we turn to addictive behaviors.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

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Join the Conversation

What are your thoughts on addiction? Share your insights with us—DM or comment on Instagram!

If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share with someone who might need to hear this.

🎧 Catch us next week for another honest conversation on life’s challenges.

Sources & Further Reading

  1. Gabor Maté, M.D.
    • In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction (2008)
    • When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress (2003)
    • The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture (2022)
  2. Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16847409 Wed, 26 Mar 2025 05:00:00 +0000 1765 1 36 full false Perimenopause & Hair Loss: A Conversation We Need to Have | Sanity Check Perimenopause & Hair Loss: A Conversation We Need to Have | Sanity Check Episode Overview

Hair loss is often seen as a men’s issue, but for many women, it’s a deeply emotional experience tied to identity, confidence, and self-worth. In this short but important Sanity Check, Aileen opens up about her personal experience with hair loss, the impact it had on her self-image, and the surprising encounter that gave her hope. Julie and Aileen discuss why hair loss isn't just about vanity, the role of perimenopause and hormones, and practical steps to support hair health.

Key Discussion Points

  • Aileen’s personal journey with hair loss and how it started.
  • The emotional impact of losing hair and how it affects self-image.
  • The role of perimenopause, hormones, stress, and overall health in hair loss.
  • The societal pressures around hair and why it's rarely talked about among women.
  • The importance of nutrition, lifestyle changes, and checking for deficiencies.
  • Practical strategies for managing hair loss, from diet to stress management.
  • Redefining beauty beyond appearance and embracing confidence at any stage of life.

Listener Takeaways

  • Hair loss in women is more common than people think – you’re not alone.
  • Checking in with a doctor can help rule out underlying medical conditions.
  • Nutrition, stress management, and gentle hair care can play a huge role in hair health.
  • Hair does not define your beauty – confidence, self-care, and support from others matter more.
  • It’s okay to grieve the changes, but also to embrace new styles and solutions that make you feel good.

Join the Conversation
Have you experienced hair loss? What worked for you, both physically and emotionally? We’d love to hear your story. Send us a message at hello@youkeepmesane.com or leave us a voicemail.

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might need it, and don’t forget to like and subscribe!



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

Hair loss is often seen as a men’s issue, but for many women, it’s a deeply emotional experience tied to identity, confidence, and self-worth. In this short but important Sanity Check, Aileen opens up about her personal experience with hair loss, the impact it had on her self-image, and the surprising encounter that gave her hope. Julie and Aileen discuss why hair loss isn't just about vanity, the role of perimenopause and hormones, and practical steps to support hair health.

Key Discussion Points

  • Aileen’s personal journey with hair loss and how it started.
  • The emotional impact of losing hair and how it affects self-image.
  • The role of perimenopause, hormones, stress, and overall health in hair loss.
  • The societal pressures around hair and why it's rarely talked about among women.
  • The importance of nutrition, lifestyle changes, and checking for deficiencies.
  • Practical strategies for managing hair loss, from diet to stress management.
  • Redefining beauty beyond appearance and embracing confidence at any stage of life.

Listener Takeaways

  • Hair loss in women is more common than people think – you’re not alone.
  • Checking in with a doctor can help rule out underlying medical conditions.
  • Nutrition, stress management, and gentle hair care can play a huge role in hair health.
  • Hair does not define your beauty – confidence, self-care, and support from others matter more.
  • It’s okay to grieve the changes, but also to embrace new styles and solutions that make you feel good.

Join the Conversation
Have you experienced hair loss? What worked for you, both physically and emotionally? We’d love to hear your story. Send us a message at hello@youkeepmesane.com or leave us a voicemail.

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might need it, and don’t forget to like and subscribe!



Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16803306 Thu, 20 Mar 2025 05:00:00 +0000 669 1 35 full false Authenticity vs. Approval: The Tug of War We All Face | YKMS Authenticity vs. Approval: The Tug of War We All Face | YKMS Episode Overview
In this episode, we explore the journey back to authenticity—why we lose it, how we reclaim it, and what it costs us when we don’t. From childhood conditioning to the pressure to fit in, we unpack how the need for approval can disconnect us from who we really are. With insights from Gabor Maté and our own stories, we reflect on what it means to show up as your true self.

Key Discussion Points

  • Losing Ourselves: How early conditioning shapes our identity.
  • Authenticity vs. Attachment: Why we trade truth for belonging.
  • Our Stories: When we conformed, resisted, and reclaimed ourselves.
  • Fear of Judgment: Why being real feels risky—but freeing.
  • Relationship Shifts: How authenticity affects who we attract.
  • Staying Self-Aware: Spotting when you’re not being you—and what to do.

Listener Takeaways

  • Notice when you feel disconnected—start with curiosity.
  • Your truth matters—even if others don’t get it.
  • Find people who love the real you.
  • You don’t need to earn your worth—you already have it.

Sources & Further Reading:

  • Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
  • Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress
  • Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
  • Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear from you! Have you ever struggled with authenticity? Have you faced judgment for being yourself? Send us a DM or share your thoughts—we’re here to listen.

If this episode resonated with you, don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review. It helps us reach more people who need these conversations.

See you next time! 💛

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this episode, we explore the journey back to authenticity—why we lose it, how we reclaim it, and what it costs us when we don’t. From childhood conditioning to the pressure to fit in, we unpack how the need for approval can disconnect us from who we really are. With insights from Gabor Maté and our own stories, we reflect on what it means to show up as your true self.

Key Discussion Points

  • Losing Ourselves: How early conditioning shapes our identity.
  • Authenticity vs. Attachment: Why we trade truth for belonging.
  • Our Stories: When we conformed, resisted, and reclaimed ourselves.
  • Fear of Judgment: Why being real feels risky—but freeing.
  • Relationship Shifts: How authenticity affects who we attract.
  • Staying Self-Aware: Spotting when you’re not being you—and what to do.

Listener Takeaways

  • Notice when you feel disconnected—start with curiosity.
  • Your truth matters—even if others don’t get it.
  • Find people who love the real you.
  • You don’t need to earn your worth—you already have it.

Sources & Further Reading:

  • Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
  • Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress
  • Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
  • Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear from you! Have you ever struggled with authenticity? Have you faced judgment for being yourself? Send us a DM or share your thoughts—we’re here to listen.

If this episode resonated with you, don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review. It helps us reach more people who need these conversations.

See you next time! 💛

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16803284 Wed, 19 Mar 2025 05:00:00 +0000 1690 1 34 full false You're Not Fun Anymore: How Motherhood, Mental Load, and Perimenopause Shift Everything | Sanity Check You're Not Fun Anymore: How Motherhood, Mental Load, and Perimenopause Shift Everything | Sanity Check Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into a topic that hits hard: the feeling of having lost the fun, playful side of yourself. Whether it comes from a partner, a friend, or even your own kids, hearing "you're not fun anymore" can sting deeply. They discuss personal experiences, the emotional toll of mental load, and how societal expectations often strip women—especially mothers—of their spontaneity and joy. This candid conversation explores why this happens and how we can reclaim our sense of fun.

Key Discussion Points:

  • The painful impact of hearing "you're not fun anymore," especially from loved ones.
  • Personal reflections from Aileen and Julie on feeling disconnected from their playful selves.
  • How motherhood, mental load, and perimenopause contribute to the loss of lightness.
  • The role of societal conditioning in assigning emotional labor and household management to women.
  • The emotional exhaustion of juggling responsibilities while trying to maintain a joyful spirit.
  • The unfair comparison to dads who often retain their playfulness.
  • Practical steps to reconnect with fun: small moments of joy, dancing in the kitchen, morning music rituals, and scheduling time for fun.

Listener Takeaways:

  • It's normal to feel like you've lost your fun side during certain life stages—you're not alone.
  • Give yourself grace; this phase of life is demanding, and self-judgment only adds to the weight.
  • Finding joy doesn’t have to be grand—small, intentional actions can reignite your playful spirit.
  • It’s okay to ask for help and share the load to create space for your own joy.
  • Fun isn't something you have to perform for others; it's about reconnecting with what brings you joy.

Join the Conversation:
Have you ever felt like you've lost your fun side? How have you tried to bring it back? We'd love to hear your thoughts, experiences, and tips. DM us or email at hello@youkeepmesane.com. Your stories might be featured in a future episode.

If this episode resonates with you, please like, subscribe, and share with someone who might relate. We're all just doing our best, and that's enough.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into a topic that hits hard: the feeling of having lost the fun, playful side of yourself. Whether it comes from a partner, a friend, or even your own kids, hearing "you're not fun anymore" can sting deeply. They discuss personal experiences, the emotional toll of mental load, and how societal expectations often strip women—especially mothers—of their spontaneity and joy. This candid conversation explores why this happens and how we can reclaim our sense of fun.

Key Discussion Points:

  • The painful impact of hearing "you're not fun anymore," especially from loved ones.
  • Personal reflections from Aileen and Julie on feeling disconnected from their playful selves.
  • How motherhood, mental load, and perimenopause contribute to the loss of lightness.
  • The role of societal conditioning in assigning emotional labor and household management to women.
  • The emotional exhaustion of juggling responsibilities while trying to maintain a joyful spirit.
  • The unfair comparison to dads who often retain their playfulness.
  • Practical steps to reconnect with fun: small moments of joy, dancing in the kitchen, morning music rituals, and scheduling time for fun.

Listener Takeaways:

  • It's normal to feel like you've lost your fun side during certain life stages—you're not alone.
  • Give yourself grace; this phase of life is demanding, and self-judgment only adds to the weight.
  • Finding joy doesn’t have to be grand—small, intentional actions can reignite your playful spirit.
  • It’s okay to ask for help and share the load to create space for your own joy.
  • Fun isn't something you have to perform for others; it's about reconnecting with what brings you joy.

Join the Conversation:
Have you ever felt like you've lost your fun side? How have you tried to bring it back? We'd love to hear your thoughts, experiences, and tips. DM us or email at hello@youkeepmesane.com. Your stories might be featured in a future episode.

If this episode resonates with you, please like, subscribe, and share with someone who might relate. We're all just doing our best, and that's enough.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16762283 Thu, 13 Mar 2025 05:00:00 +0000 654 1 33 full false The Comparison Trap: Why We Feel It & How to Break Free | YKMS The Comparison Trap: Why We Feel It & How to Break Free | YKMS Episode Overview
Comparison can sneak in through social media, friendships, or everyday moments—leaving us feeling like we’re not enough. In this episode, we explore the roots of comparison and jealousy, how they impact self-worth, and what we can do to shift our mindset. Through personal stories and practical tools, we look at how to move from comparison to connection.

Key Discussion Points

  • Comparison vs. Jealousy: What’s the difference and why it matters.
  • Our Stories: Moments where we’ve felt “less than.”
  • The Social Media Effect: How curated lives trigger insecurity.
  • Why We Compare Up: And how it affects our self-worth.
  • Rebuilding Worth: Tools to reframe and focus on what matters.
  • Practical Tips: Gratitude, perspective shifts, and celebrating others.

Listener Takeaways

  • Awareness is powerful—know when comparison shows up.
  • Reframe your thoughts—ask what the feeling is really about.
  • Practice gratitude—it helps anchor you.
  • Celebrate others—someone else’s win isn’t your loss.
  • Social media isn’t the whole story—focus on your own path.

Join the Conversation:

We want to hear from you! Have you struggled with comparison or jealousy? How have you learned to navigate these feelings?

Send us a DM or leave us a voice message—we’d love to share your insights in future episodes!

📢 If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who might need to hear it. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and leave us a review!

Until next time, remember—you are enough, just as you are. 💛

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
Comparison can sneak in through social media, friendships, or everyday moments—leaving us feeling like we’re not enough. In this episode, we explore the roots of comparison and jealousy, how they impact self-worth, and what we can do to shift our mindset. Through personal stories and practical tools, we look at how to move from comparison to connection.

Key Discussion Points

  • Comparison vs. Jealousy: What’s the difference and why it matters.
  • Our Stories: Moments where we’ve felt “less than.”
  • The Social Media Effect: How curated lives trigger insecurity.
  • Why We Compare Up: And how it affects our self-worth.
  • Rebuilding Worth: Tools to reframe and focus on what matters.
  • Practical Tips: Gratitude, perspective shifts, and celebrating others.

Listener Takeaways

  • Awareness is powerful—know when comparison shows up.
  • Reframe your thoughts—ask what the feeling is really about.
  • Practice gratitude—it helps anchor you.
  • Celebrate others—someone else’s win isn’t your loss.
  • Social media isn’t the whole story—focus on your own path.

Join the Conversation:

We want to hear from you! Have you struggled with comparison or jealousy? How have you learned to navigate these feelings?

Send us a DM or leave us a voice message—we’d love to share your insights in future episodes!

📢 If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who might need to hear it. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and leave us a review!

Until next time, remember—you are enough, just as you are. 💛

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16762235 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 05:00:00 +0000 1945 1 32 full false The Power Shift: How Women’s Wealth Transforms the World | Sanity Check The Power Shift: How Women’s Wealth Transforms the World | Sanity Check Episode Overview

This week’s Sanity Check lands on International Women’s Day, and we’re diving into a conversation that doesn’t get nearly enough attention—the immense power of women in the economy. Despite the progress we’ve made, studies show it will take until 2158 to achieve full gender parity. That’s five generations away. Simply put, change isn’t happening fast enough.

In this episode, we explore the real impact of women’s financial power, the barriers that still hold women back, and what the world might look like if our economic systems had been built with women in mind from the start.

Key Discussion Points

  • Key Discussion Points
    • Why Accelerate Action Matters – At this rate, gender equality is over a century away. Change is too slow.
    • Women and Wealth – Women reinvest up to 90% of their income into families and communities, yet still face financial inequality.
    • The Money Mindset Gap – Girls are taught to save; boys are encouraged to invest. This shapes financial confidence.
    • Systemic Barriers – The pay gap, career interruptions, unpaid labor, and male-dominated finance keep women at an economic disadvantage.
    • Rethinking the Economy – What if financial systems were built for women? Imagine care work being valued and collaboration over competition.
    • Why Act Now – We can’t wait five generations. It’s time to build a system that truly works for women.
  • Listener Takeaways
    • How do you see money? Were you taught to be cautious or empowered?
    • Women’s wealth creates change. What we earn and invest shapes entire communities.
    • Push for progress. Advocate for equal pay, challenge financial structures, and demand better policies.

SOURCES & FURTHER READING:

  • The World Bank Report on Women and Economic Growth (2023)
  • McKinsey Global Institute: The Power of Parity (2020)
  • UN Women: Women’s Economic Empowerment (2022)
  • Harvard Business Review: How Women Invest Differently Than Men (2021)
  • World Economic Forum Gender Gap Report (2023)
  • Instagram Post Referenced: @thefeministfinancialadvisor


Join the Conversation

This International Women’s Day, let’s take action—waiting until 2158 isn’t an option.

How can we create systems that truly work for women? DM us or email hello@youkeepmesane.com—we’d love to hear your thoughts.

If this episode resonated, share it and keep the conversation going. Subscribe, rate, and review You Keep Me Sane for more honest conversations.

Happy International Women’s Day—own your power.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

This week’s Sanity Check lands on International Women’s Day, and we’re diving into a conversation that doesn’t get nearly enough attention—the immense power of women in the economy. Despite the progress we’ve made, studies show it will take until 2158 to achieve full gender parity. That’s five generations away. Simply put, change isn’t happening fast enough.

In this episode, we explore the real impact of women’s financial power, the barriers that still hold women back, and what the world might look like if our economic systems had been built with women in mind from the start.

Key Discussion Points

  • Key Discussion Points
    • Why Accelerate Action Matters – At this rate, gender equality is over a century away. Change is too slow.
    • Women and Wealth – Women reinvest up to 90% of their income into families and communities, yet still face financial inequality.
    • The Money Mindset Gap – Girls are taught to save; boys are encouraged to invest. This shapes financial confidence.
    • Systemic Barriers – The pay gap, career interruptions, unpaid labor, and male-dominated finance keep women at an economic disadvantage.
    • Rethinking the Economy – What if financial systems were built for women? Imagine care work being valued and collaboration over competition.
    • Why Act Now – We can’t wait five generations. It’s time to build a system that truly works for women.
  • Listener Takeaways
    • How do you see money? Were you taught to be cautious or empowered?
    • Women’s wealth creates change. What we earn and invest shapes entire communities.
    • Push for progress. Advocate for equal pay, challenge financial structures, and demand better policies.

SOURCES & FURTHER READING:

  • The World Bank Report on Women and Economic Growth (2023)
  • McKinsey Global Institute: The Power of Parity (2020)
  • UN Women: Women’s Economic Empowerment (2022)
  • Harvard Business Review: How Women Invest Differently Than Men (2021)
  • World Economic Forum Gender Gap Report (2023)
  • Instagram Post Referenced: @thefeministfinancialadvisor


Join the Conversation

This International Women’s Day, let’s take action—waiting until 2158 isn’t an option.

How can we create systems that truly work for women? DM us or email hello@youkeepmesane.com—we’d love to hear your thoughts.

If this episode resonated, share it and keep the conversation going. Subscribe, rate, and review You Keep Me Sane for more honest conversations.

Happy International Women’s Day—own your power.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16728787 Thu, 06 Mar 2025 05:00:00 +0000 651 1 31 full false Money Without Guilt: Why Earning, Saving & Investing Matters | YKMS Money Without Guilt: Why Earning, Saving & Investing Matters | YKMS Episode Overview
Most of us left school knowing algebra—not how to budget, manage debt, or invest. In this episode, we unpack the money lessons we wish we’d learned, how to shift our mindset around finances, and why it’s never too late to take control. Let’s break the silence around money and start making it work for us.

Key Discussion Points

  • Financial Gaps in School: Why we weren’t taught basic money skills.
  • Money Mindset: How guilt, shame, and old beliefs hold us back.
  • Lessons from Mistakes: Our stories of debt and what we’d do differently.
  • Women & Wealth: Why financial independence matters.
  • Teaching the Next Gen: Simple ways to raise financially savvy kids.
  • Healthy Habits: Easy steps to build stability and confidence.

Listener Takeaways

  • Money is a tool—not something to fear.
  • Financial literacy gives kids lifelong power.
  • Start small: track spending, save often, and stay consistent.
  • Open money conversations can change everything.

We’d love to hear your experiences!

  • Do you struggle with a subconscious belief that money is bad or greedy?
  • Have you started teaching your kids about money? What’s worked well for you?

Send us a DM or a voice message to share your thoughts!

Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode

  • Stephen Bartlett’s Diary of a CEO episode on Money & Investing: https://stevenbartlett.com/the-diary-of-a-ceo-podcast/
  • Female Invest – A great resource for learning about investing: https://www.femaleinvest.com/
  • Compound Interest Calculator – See how small savings grow over time: https://www.investor.gov/financial-tools-calculators/calculators/compound-interest-calculator

If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who needs to hear it and don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
Most of us left school knowing algebra—not how to budget, manage debt, or invest. In this episode, we unpack the money lessons we wish we’d learned, how to shift our mindset around finances, and why it’s never too late to take control. Let’s break the silence around money and start making it work for us.

Key Discussion Points

  • Financial Gaps in School: Why we weren’t taught basic money skills.
  • Money Mindset: How guilt, shame, and old beliefs hold us back.
  • Lessons from Mistakes: Our stories of debt and what we’d do differently.
  • Women & Wealth: Why financial independence matters.
  • Teaching the Next Gen: Simple ways to raise financially savvy kids.
  • Healthy Habits: Easy steps to build stability and confidence.

Listener Takeaways

  • Money is a tool—not something to fear.
  • Financial literacy gives kids lifelong power.
  • Start small: track spending, save often, and stay consistent.
  • Open money conversations can change everything.

We’d love to hear your experiences!

  • Do you struggle with a subconscious belief that money is bad or greedy?
  • Have you started teaching your kids about money? What’s worked well for you?

Send us a DM or a voice message to share your thoughts!

Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode

  • Stephen Bartlett’s Diary of a CEO episode on Money & Investing: https://stevenbartlett.com/the-diary-of-a-ceo-podcast/
  • Female Invest – A great resource for learning about investing: https://www.femaleinvest.com/
  • Compound Interest Calculator – See how small savings grow over time: https://www.investor.gov/financial-tools-calculators/calculators/compound-interest-calculator

If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who needs to hear it and don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16728750 Wed, 05 Mar 2025 05:00:00 +0000 1829 1 30 full false Overdeveloped Sense of Duty: When Helping Becomes a Habit |Sanity Check Overdeveloped Sense of Duty: When Helping Becomes a Habit |Sanity Check Episode Overview

In this Sanity Check episode, we explore a term that resonates deeply with many women: an overdeveloped sense of duty. Julie shares how she first heard this phrase in her early twenties, and it stuck with her. Over the years, she began to recognise how it played out in her life—compulsively taking on responsibility, stepping in to fix things, and helping others without question. Aileen and Julie discuss where this drive comes from, how it plays out in their own lives, and the emotional toll it can take.

This conversation is a must-listen for anyone who finds themselves constantly stepping in, carrying the load, and struggling to say no.

Key Discussion Points

  • The emotional and physical toll of feeling responsible for everything and everyone.
  • Why so many women are conditioned to believe their worth is tied to their usefulness.
  • The connection between apologising too much, hyper-responsibility, and burnout.
  • Aileen’s perspective on playing the mediator in her family and how that shaped her sense of responsibility.
  • The impact of societal conditioning—why women are often praised for selflessness but rarely encouraged to set boundaries.
  • Practical strategies for letting go of the need to always help and prioritising self-care.
  • How to check in with yourself: Are you helping out of choice or obligation?

Listener Takeaways

  • If you have a habit of always taking on responsibility, pause and ask:
    "Am I doing this because I want to, or because I feel I have to?"
  • Selflessness isn’t the same as self-sacrifice—you can care for others without draining yourself.
  • You are enough, even when you’re not doing everything for everyone.
  • Saying no isn’t selfish. Other people can carry the load too.
  • Boundaries matter. If your energy is constantly depleted, it’s time to reassess.

Join the Conversation

Does this episode resonate with you? Do you struggle with an overdeveloped sense of duty? We’d love to hear from you!
💬 Drop us a message or share your thoughts on Instagram @YouKeepMeSane
📩 Send us a voicemail or email—your stories matter!
🎧 If you found this episode helpful, please like, share, and subscribe!

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this Sanity Check episode, we explore a term that resonates deeply with many women: an overdeveloped sense of duty. Julie shares how she first heard this phrase in her early twenties, and it stuck with her. Over the years, she began to recognise how it played out in her life—compulsively taking on responsibility, stepping in to fix things, and helping others without question. Aileen and Julie discuss where this drive comes from, how it plays out in their own lives, and the emotional toll it can take.

This conversation is a must-listen for anyone who finds themselves constantly stepping in, carrying the load, and struggling to say no.

Key Discussion Points

  • The emotional and physical toll of feeling responsible for everything and everyone.
  • Why so many women are conditioned to believe their worth is tied to their usefulness.
  • The connection between apologising too much, hyper-responsibility, and burnout.
  • Aileen’s perspective on playing the mediator in her family and how that shaped her sense of responsibility.
  • The impact of societal conditioning—why women are often praised for selflessness but rarely encouraged to set boundaries.
  • Practical strategies for letting go of the need to always help and prioritising self-care.
  • How to check in with yourself: Are you helping out of choice or obligation?

Listener Takeaways

  • If you have a habit of always taking on responsibility, pause and ask:
    "Am I doing this because I want to, or because I feel I have to?"
  • Selflessness isn’t the same as self-sacrifice—you can care for others without draining yourself.
  • You are enough, even when you’re not doing everything for everyone.
  • Saying no isn’t selfish. Other people can carry the load too.
  • Boundaries matter. If your energy is constantly depleted, it’s time to reassess.

Join the Conversation

Does this episode resonate with you? Do you struggle with an overdeveloped sense of duty? We’d love to hear from you!
💬 Drop us a message or share your thoughts on Instagram @YouKeepMeSane
📩 Send us a voicemail or email—your stories matter!
🎧 If you found this episode helpful, please like, share, and subscribe!

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16679546 Thu, 27 Feb 2025 04:00:00 +0000 775 1 29 full false Happiness: Why Does It Feel So Elusive? | YKMS Happiness: Why Does It Feel So Elusive? | YKMS Episode Overview
Why does happiness feel like something we’re always chasing but never quite reaching? In this episode, we dive into why happiness feels so elusive and how we can redefine it in a way that feels more fulfilling. Drawing from personal experiences, Russ Harris’ The Happiness Trap, and Dr. Judith Joseph’s 5 Vs for mental health, we explore how meaning, connection, and small sparks of joy can reshape the way we think about happiness.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Happiness Trap – Russ Harris' concept of why chasing happiness makes it harder to attain.
  • Social Media & Cultural Myths – How unrealistic expectations of happiness contribute to dissatisfaction.
  • Meaning vs. Happiness – Why seeking purpose and embracing all emotions (even the difficult ones) can lead to a more fulfilling life.
  • The 5 Vs of Mental Health (Dr. Judith Joseph):
  • The Role of Small Sparks – How happiness often hides in small, everyday moments rather than grand achievements.

Listener Takeaways

  • Redefine happiness – It’s not about constant joy but about moments of connection, meaning, and being present.
  • Identify your values – Are you living in a way that aligns with them? If not, what small shifts can you make?
  • Practice self-compassion – You’re not supposed to feel good all the time, and that’s okay.
  • Notice your sparks – Pay attention to small things that bring joy and make space for them in your life.

Resources

BetterHelp Paid Partnership

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a discount on your first month of therapy

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch easily.

BetterHelp carefully vets their therapists and has over 7,000 reviews with a 4.5-star rating on TrustPilot. 

Join the Conversation

What does happiness mean to you? Has your definition changed over time? What are the small sparks that bring you joy? We’d love to hear from you—leave us a voicemail or send us a DM!

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a friend who might need to hear it.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
Why does happiness feel like something we’re always chasing but never quite reaching? In this episode, we dive into why happiness feels so elusive and how we can redefine it in a way that feels more fulfilling. Drawing from personal experiences, Russ Harris’ The Happiness Trap, and Dr. Judith Joseph’s 5 Vs for mental health, we explore how meaning, connection, and small sparks of joy can reshape the way we think about happiness.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Happiness Trap – Russ Harris' concept of why chasing happiness makes it harder to attain.
  • Social Media & Cultural Myths – How unrealistic expectations of happiness contribute to dissatisfaction.
  • Meaning vs. Happiness – Why seeking purpose and embracing all emotions (even the difficult ones) can lead to a more fulfilling life.
  • The 5 Vs of Mental Health (Dr. Judith Joseph):
  • The Role of Small Sparks – How happiness often hides in small, everyday moments rather than grand achievements.

Listener Takeaways

  • Redefine happiness – It’s not about constant joy but about moments of connection, meaning, and being present.
  • Identify your values – Are you living in a way that aligns with them? If not, what small shifts can you make?
  • Practice self-compassion – You’re not supposed to feel good all the time, and that’s okay.
  • Notice your sparks – Pay attention to small things that bring joy and make space for them in your life.

Resources

BetterHelp Paid Partnership

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a discount on your first month of therapy

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch easily.

BetterHelp carefully vets their therapists and has over 7,000 reviews with a 4.5-star rating on TrustPilot. 

Join the Conversation

What does happiness mean to you? Has your definition changed over time? What are the small sparks that bring you joy? We’d love to hear from you—leave us a voicemail or send us a DM!

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a friend who might need to hear it.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16679522 Wed, 26 Feb 2025 04:00:00 +0000 1512 1 28 full false Exhaustion Isn’t a Status Symbol: Embracing Rest and Play | Sanity Check Exhaustion Isn’t a Status Symbol: Embracing Rest and Play | Sanity Check Episode Overview

In this week's Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into one of Brené Brown’s transformative quotes:
“It takes courage to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”
They explore how society glorifies busyness and how deeply ingrained patterns of justifying our time can impact our well-being. Reflecting on their personal journeys, they discuss shifting from a mindset of relentless productivity to embracing rest, play, and meaningful living.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Cultural Glorification of Exhaustion: How busy-ness has become a marker of success and worth.
  • Personal Reflections on Busyness: Julie and Aileen share how they’ve identified and begun to unlearn these patterns in their own lives.
  • Language and Perception: The subtle ways we signal busyness in conversations and how it can unintentionally reinforce these ideals.
  • The Role of Self-Worth: How tying self-value to productivity prevents us from fully embracing rest and play.
  • Practical Steps for Change: Actionable strategies to prioritise rest, engage in play, and redefine success.


Listener Takeaways

  1. Notice Your Language: Pay attention to how you describe your life to others. Shift from saying “I’m busy” to sharing something restful or joyful.
  2. Schedule Rest: Treat downtime as a priority, blocking out time to recharge guilt-free.
  3. Embrace Play: Rediscover activities that bring you joy and make space for them without needing a productive outcome.
  4. Reflect on Your Why: Journal about what drives your busy-ness—awareness can help you challenge and change old patterns.
  5. Celebrate Rest and Play: Share your moments of rest and joy openly to normalise them as valuable achievements.

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear your thoughts! How do you balance rest and productivity in your life? What’s one small step you can take today to embrace rest and play? Let us know by:

  • Leaving a voicemail
  • Messaging us on Instagram (@YouKeepMeSane)
  • Email us!

Remember, you are enough just as you are—whether you’re busy, resting, or playing.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this week's Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into one of Brené Brown’s transformative quotes:
“It takes courage to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”
They explore how society glorifies busyness and how deeply ingrained patterns of justifying our time can impact our well-being. Reflecting on their personal journeys, they discuss shifting from a mindset of relentless productivity to embracing rest, play, and meaningful living.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Cultural Glorification of Exhaustion: How busy-ness has become a marker of success and worth.
  • Personal Reflections on Busyness: Julie and Aileen share how they’ve identified and begun to unlearn these patterns in their own lives.
  • Language and Perception: The subtle ways we signal busyness in conversations and how it can unintentionally reinforce these ideals.
  • The Role of Self-Worth: How tying self-value to productivity prevents us from fully embracing rest and play.
  • Practical Steps for Change: Actionable strategies to prioritise rest, engage in play, and redefine success.


Listener Takeaways

  1. Notice Your Language: Pay attention to how you describe your life to others. Shift from saying “I’m busy” to sharing something restful or joyful.
  2. Schedule Rest: Treat downtime as a priority, blocking out time to recharge guilt-free.
  3. Embrace Play: Rediscover activities that bring you joy and make space for them without needing a productive outcome.
  4. Reflect on Your Why: Journal about what drives your busy-ness—awareness can help you challenge and change old patterns.
  5. Celebrate Rest and Play: Share your moments of rest and joy openly to normalise them as valuable achievements.

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear your thoughts! How do you balance rest and productivity in your life? What’s one small step you can take today to embrace rest and play? Let us know by:

  • Leaving a voicemail
  • Messaging us on Instagram (@YouKeepMeSane)
  • Email us!

Remember, you are enough just as you are—whether you’re busy, resting, or playing.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16642445 Thu, 20 Feb 2025 05:00:00 +0000 884 1 27 full false Body Image and Self-Worth: Rewriting the Narrative | YKMS Body Image and Self-Worth: Rewriting the Narrative | YKMS Episode Overview:
In this deeply personal episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive into the complex topic of body image, exploring why size and shape continue to hold such power over our self-worth. They share candid stories from their own lives, reflecting on the lasting impact of societal expectations, family influences, and personal experiences with food, body shame, and self-acceptance. This heartfelt conversation also delves into how they’re working to foster healthier body narratives for their daughters, challenging the cultural norms that have shaped generations.

Key Discussion Points:

  • The lingering influence of childhood experiences with diet culture and body expectations.
  • Personal journeys with body image, food addiction, and disordered eating.
  • How puberty and societal comments shaped their perceptions of self-worth.
  • The evolution of beauty standards across different eras and cultures.
  • The impact of social media and algorithms on body dissatisfaction.
  • Navigating body changes during perimenopause and finding acceptance.
  • The importance of modelling body positivity and neutrality for the next generation.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Recognise that body ideals are socially constructed and can be deconstructed.
  • Understand the connection between self-worth and body image.
  • Practical tips for curating a positive social media feed.
  • The power of challenging negative self-talk and practising body neutrality.
  • How to create a body-positive environment for children.
  • Strategies for shifting focus from appearance to self-appreciation and internal qualities.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch easily.

BetterHelp carefully vets their therapists and has over 7,000 reviews with a 4.5-star rating on TrustPilot. 

Referenced Resources & Statistics:

  • Over 90% of Australian teenagers have some level of body image concern, with 38% being very or extremely concerned. https://butterfly.org.au/news/more-than-90-of-young-people-in-australia-have-some-concern-about-their-body-image/
  • Nearly half (45%) of young people are dissatisfied with their appearance, and approximately 37% avoid physical activities due to body image issues. https://butterfly.org.au/news/more-than-90-of-young-people-in-australia-have-some-concern-about-their-body-image/
  • Research indicates a link between time spent on social media and increased body image con

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:
In this deeply personal episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive into the complex topic of body image, exploring why size and shape continue to hold such power over our self-worth. They share candid stories from their own lives, reflecting on the lasting impact of societal expectations, family influences, and personal experiences with food, body shame, and self-acceptance. This heartfelt conversation also delves into how they’re working to foster healthier body narratives for their daughters, challenging the cultural norms that have shaped generations.

Key Discussion Points:

  • The lingering influence of childhood experiences with diet culture and body expectations.
  • Personal journeys with body image, food addiction, and disordered eating.
  • How puberty and societal comments shaped their perceptions of self-worth.
  • The evolution of beauty standards across different eras and cultures.
  • The impact of social media and algorithms on body dissatisfaction.
  • Navigating body changes during perimenopause and finding acceptance.
  • The importance of modelling body positivity and neutrality for the next generation.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Recognise that body ideals are socially constructed and can be deconstructed.
  • Understand the connection between self-worth and body image.
  • Practical tips for curating a positive social media feed.
  • The power of challenging negative self-talk and practising body neutrality.
  • How to create a body-positive environment for children.
  • Strategies for shifting focus from appearance to self-appreciation and internal qualities.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch easily.

BetterHelp carefully vets their therapists and has over 7,000 reviews with a 4.5-star rating on TrustPilot. 

Referenced Resources & Statistics:

  • Over 90% of Australian teenagers have some level of body image concern, with 38% being very or extremely concerned. https://butterfly.org.au/news/more-than-90-of-young-people-in-australia-have-some-concern-about-their-body-image/
  • Nearly half (45%) of young people are dissatisfied with their appearance, and approximately 37% avoid physical activities due to body image issues. https://butterfly.org.au/news/more-than-90-of-young-people-in-australia-have-some-concern-about-their-body-image/
  • Research indicates a link between time spent on social media and increased body image con

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16642211 Wed, 19 Feb 2025 05:00:00 +0000 1963 1 26 full false From Cats to Dogs: The Unexpected Benefits of Having Pets | Sanity Check From Cats to Dogs: The Unexpected Benefits of Having Pets | Sanity Check Episode Overview: 

In this short Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie explore the unexpected joy and comfort pets bring to our lives. From the unconditional love of dogs and cats to the calming presence of a turtle, they dive into how pets enrich their families and create lasting memories. They share personal stories about their own pets and reflect on the valuable lessons they’ve learned, such as responsibility, empathy, and mindfulness. Whether you’re a seasoned pet owner or contemplating getting a furry friend, this episode will remind you of the immense joy and emotional support animals offer.

Key Discussion Points:

  • The positive impact of pets on children, teaching them responsibility, empathy, and compassion.
  • The benefits pets offer to adults, including emotional support and the calming effect they provide.
  • The role pets play in family dynamics and how they help bring people closer together.
  • The mindfulness and routine that comes with caring for pets, including the physical and emotional benefits of daily walks and cuddles.
  • The healing power of animals, especially in tough times like the pandemic.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Pets are more than just animals – they are emotional anchors that teach us essential life skills.
  • Whether it’s a cat, dog, or even a turtle, the presence of pets can significantly impact our mental well-being and family cohesion.
  • The responsibility of caring for a pet is a rewarding experience that can improve mindfulness and provide a sense of purpose, especially in challenging times.
  • If you’re considering getting a pet, remember to think about the commitment and embrace the joy that comes with the responsibility.

Join the Conversation: 

We’d love to hear about your pets and the joy they bring to your life. Share your stories with us on Instagram or send us a message – we’re all ears! Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with anyone who loves pets or is thinking of getting one.

Resources Mentioned:

  • Three Wild Dogs and the Truth by Marcus Zusak – A brilliant, autobiographical book about the joy and chaos pets bring to a family. Highly recommended by Julie!
  • All Cats Are on the Autism Spectrum by Kathy Hoopmann – An affirming introduction to autism through the lens of feline behaviour.
  • All Dogs Have ADHD by Kathy Hoopmann – An affirming introduction to ADHD, focusing on the behaviours of dogs and how they relate to ADHD.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview: 

In this short Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie explore the unexpected joy and comfort pets bring to our lives. From the unconditional love of dogs and cats to the calming presence of a turtle, they dive into how pets enrich their families and create lasting memories. They share personal stories about their own pets and reflect on the valuable lessons they’ve learned, such as responsibility, empathy, and mindfulness. Whether you’re a seasoned pet owner or contemplating getting a furry friend, this episode will remind you of the immense joy and emotional support animals offer.

Key Discussion Points:

  • The positive impact of pets on children, teaching them responsibility, empathy, and compassion.
  • The benefits pets offer to adults, including emotional support and the calming effect they provide.
  • The role pets play in family dynamics and how they help bring people closer together.
  • The mindfulness and routine that comes with caring for pets, including the physical and emotional benefits of daily walks and cuddles.
  • The healing power of animals, especially in tough times like the pandemic.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Pets are more than just animals – they are emotional anchors that teach us essential life skills.
  • Whether it’s a cat, dog, or even a turtle, the presence of pets can significantly impact our mental well-being and family cohesion.
  • The responsibility of caring for a pet is a rewarding experience that can improve mindfulness and provide a sense of purpose, especially in challenging times.
  • If you’re considering getting a pet, remember to think about the commitment and embrace the joy that comes with the responsibility.

Join the Conversation: 

We’d love to hear about your pets and the joy they bring to your life. Share your stories with us on Instagram or send us a message – we’re all ears! Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with anyone who loves pets or is thinking of getting one.

Resources Mentioned:

  • Three Wild Dogs and the Truth by Marcus Zusak – A brilliant, autobiographical book about the joy and chaos pets bring to a family. Highly recommended by Julie!
  • All Cats Are on the Autism Spectrum by Kathy Hoopmann – An affirming introduction to autism through the lens of feline behaviour.
  • All Dogs Have ADHD by Kathy Hoopmann – An affirming introduction to ADHD, focusing on the behaviours of dogs and how they relate to ADHD.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16592361 Thu, 13 Feb 2025 04:00:00 +0000 931 1 25 full false The Unlived Life: Are We Burdening Our Kids with Our Past? | YKMS The Unlived Life: Are We Burdening Our Kids with Our Past? | YKMS Episode Overview

In this episode, we explore a thought-provoking quote by Carl Jung: "The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents." We unpack what this means, how our unresolved struggles or unmet dreams can impact our children, and how we can foster self-awareness to break the cycle.

Aileen and Julie reflect on their own experiences—how their upbringings shaped them and how they strive to parent differently. They discuss the importance of emotional intelligence, self-reflection, and ensuring that children are free to develop their own identities without carrying the weight of their parents’ past.

Key Discussion Points

  • Jung’s “Unlived Life”: How parents may project their unmet dreams onto their kids.
  • Personal Reflections: Aileen shares her emotionally restricted upbringing; Julie reflects on parenting through a self-worth lens.
  • Generational Patterns: How unresolved wounds shape how we parent.
  • Breaking the Cycle: The power of self-awareness in stopping unconscious projections.
  • Supporting Our Kids: Practical ways to nurture independence and authenticity in children.

Listener Takeaways

  • The importance of self-reflection in parenting—checking whether we’re projecting unmet needs onto our children.
  • How to balance support and encouragement without steering children toward a path that serves us more than them.
  • The power of honesty and emotional openness in parenting.
  • Why working on our own self-worth prevents us from burdening our kids with our unresolved struggles.
  • Practical ways to create a healthier, more supportive environment for children.

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear your thoughts! How has the idea of the unlived life shown up in your own parenting journey? What steps are you taking to grow alongside your children?

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode, we explore a thought-provoking quote by Carl Jung: "The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents." We unpack what this means, how our unresolved struggles or unmet dreams can impact our children, and how we can foster self-awareness to break the cycle.

Aileen and Julie reflect on their own experiences—how their upbringings shaped them and how they strive to parent differently. They discuss the importance of emotional intelligence, self-reflection, and ensuring that children are free to develop their own identities without carrying the weight of their parents’ past.

Key Discussion Points

  • Jung’s “Unlived Life”: How parents may project their unmet dreams onto their kids.
  • Personal Reflections: Aileen shares her emotionally restricted upbringing; Julie reflects on parenting through a self-worth lens.
  • Generational Patterns: How unresolved wounds shape how we parent.
  • Breaking the Cycle: The power of self-awareness in stopping unconscious projections.
  • Supporting Our Kids: Practical ways to nurture independence and authenticity in children.

Listener Takeaways

  • The importance of self-reflection in parenting—checking whether we’re projecting unmet needs onto our children.
  • How to balance support and encouragement without steering children toward a path that serves us more than them.
  • The power of honesty and emotional openness in parenting.
  • Why working on our own self-worth prevents us from burdening our kids with our unresolved struggles.
  • Practical ways to create a healthier, more supportive environment for children.

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear your thoughts! How has the idea of the unlived life shown up in your own parenting journey? What steps are you taking to grow alongside your children?

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16592356 Wed, 12 Feb 2025 04:00:00 +0000 1563 1 24 full false Breaking the Cycle: Why Women Should Lift Each Other Up, Not Tear Each Other Down | Sanity Check Breaking the Cycle: Why Women Should Lift Each Other Up, Not Tear Each Other Down | Sanity Check Episode Overview:
In this episode of Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into a topic that resonates deeply with many women: how we can sometimes be our own worst critics, and how we must work towards lifting each other up rather than tearing each other down. They explore how societal pressures, insecurities, and unhealed wounds can fuel negative behaviour between women, and why it's crucial to change the narrative towards mutual support and empowerment.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Aileen and Julie reflect on a recent conversation about a woman who faced constant criticism from another in her circle.
  • The damaging impact of competition, gossip, and judgment in female relationships.
  • How insecurities often drive criticism, and why it’s important to recognise and address them.
  • The need for women to extend grace to themselves and others, especially in the context of motherhood and aging.
  • The significance of healthy, supportive friendships and the boundaries needed to protect our mental and emotional well-being.
  • How inner work and self-acceptance are essential to breaking the cycle of negativity.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Recognise when you are falling into a pattern of criticism and choose to lift others instead.
  • Understand that hurtful behaviour often stems from insecurities, and it’s essential to reflect on this before reacting.
  • Prioritise relationships that bring positivity and support into your life, and let go of toxic dynamics that drain you.
  • Embrace the power of mutual support, especially among women, and focus on celebrating each other’s achievements rather than competing.
  • Value yourself just as you are, and extend that same grace to others.

Resources/Studies:

  • Female Intrasexual Competition: Study on Female Intrasexual Competition and Indirect Aggression, Psych Central, 2021.
  • Perceptions of Competition in Young Women: Competition as a Norm: A Study on Young Women’s Rivalry and Societal Expectations, Springer Link, 2016.
  • Socialization and Female Competition: No, Women Aren't Inherently Catty or Competitive, Bustle, 2014.

Join the Conversation:

Have you ever experienced criticism or negativity from other women? How did you handle it? We’d love to hear your stories and thoughts on creating positive, supportive connections in your life. Share your experiences with us by leaving a comment or reaching out through our socials.

Remember to like, subscribe, and share this episode if you think it will resonate with someone. Let’s keep the conversation going and support each other as we all navigate the ups and downs of life.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:
In this episode of Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into a topic that resonates deeply with many women: how we can sometimes be our own worst critics, and how we must work towards lifting each other up rather than tearing each other down. They explore how societal pressures, insecurities, and unhealed wounds can fuel negative behaviour between women, and why it's crucial to change the narrative towards mutual support and empowerment.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Aileen and Julie reflect on a recent conversation about a woman who faced constant criticism from another in her circle.
  • The damaging impact of competition, gossip, and judgment in female relationships.
  • How insecurities often drive criticism, and why it’s important to recognise and address them.
  • The need for women to extend grace to themselves and others, especially in the context of motherhood and aging.
  • The significance of healthy, supportive friendships and the boundaries needed to protect our mental and emotional well-being.
  • How inner work and self-acceptance are essential to breaking the cycle of negativity.

Listener Takeaways:

  • Recognise when you are falling into a pattern of criticism and choose to lift others instead.
  • Understand that hurtful behaviour often stems from insecurities, and it’s essential to reflect on this before reacting.
  • Prioritise relationships that bring positivity and support into your life, and let go of toxic dynamics that drain you.
  • Embrace the power of mutual support, especially among women, and focus on celebrating each other’s achievements rather than competing.
  • Value yourself just as you are, and extend that same grace to others.

Resources/Studies:

  • Female Intrasexual Competition: Study on Female Intrasexual Competition and Indirect Aggression, Psych Central, 2021.
  • Perceptions of Competition in Young Women: Competition as a Norm: A Study on Young Women’s Rivalry and Societal Expectations, Springer Link, 2016.
  • Socialization and Female Competition: No, Women Aren't Inherently Catty or Competitive, Bustle, 2014.

Join the Conversation:

Have you ever experienced criticism or negativity from other women? How did you handle it? We’d love to hear your stories and thoughts on creating positive, supportive connections in your life. Share your experiences with us by leaving a comment or reaching out through our socials.

Remember to like, subscribe, and share this episode if you think it will resonate with someone. Let’s keep the conversation going and support each other as we all navigate the ups and downs of life.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16557987 Thu, 06 Feb 2025 04:00:00 +0000 827 1 23 full false One Set of Hands, Countless Responsibilities: The Single Parent’s Journey | YKMS One Set of Hands, Countless Responsibilities: The Single Parent’s Journey | YKMS Episode Overview:

In this deeply personal episode, Aileen opens up about her experiences as a single parent, raising her daughter Amelia for over a decade. She shares both the rewarding and the challenging aspects of single motherhood, offering insight into the emotional, physical, and financial burdens that often go unseen. Julie and Aileen also discuss how building a supportive community, embracing vulnerability, and seeking help from friends can make all the difference.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Mental Load: Aileen opens up about the constant decision-making strain of solo parenting.
  • Friendship as Support: Why close female friendships are vital when you’re doing it alone.
  • Financial Pressure: The juggling act of raising a child solo in an expensive city.
  • Emotional Labour: Being the steady anchor for your child while managing your own ups and downs.
  • Hormones Everywhere: Navigating perimenopause while parenting through puberty.
  • Staying Grounded: Therapy, movement, and breathwork as essential tools.

Listener Takeaways

  • You’re Not Alone: Connection and support make all the difference.
  • Self-Kindness Matters: Your best really is enough.
  • Vulnerability is Strength: Let your kids see it’s okay to feel.
  • Build Your Village: Lean on friends, therapy, and self-care to lighten the load.


Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear from you! If you’re a single parent, what challenges do you face and how have you learned to cope? Send us a voicemail or drop us a message—we're here to listen and support. 

Don't forget to share this episode with any single parents who could benefit from hearing these honest, relatable conversations.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this deeply personal episode, Aileen opens up about her experiences as a single parent, raising her daughter Amelia for over a decade. She shares both the rewarding and the challenging aspects of single motherhood, offering insight into the emotional, physical, and financial burdens that often go unseen. Julie and Aileen also discuss how building a supportive community, embracing vulnerability, and seeking help from friends can make all the difference.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Mental Load: Aileen opens up about the constant decision-making strain of solo parenting.
  • Friendship as Support: Why close female friendships are vital when you’re doing it alone.
  • Financial Pressure: The juggling act of raising a child solo in an expensive city.
  • Emotional Labour: Being the steady anchor for your child while managing your own ups and downs.
  • Hormones Everywhere: Navigating perimenopause while parenting through puberty.
  • Staying Grounded: Therapy, movement, and breathwork as essential tools.

Listener Takeaways

  • You’re Not Alone: Connection and support make all the difference.
  • Self-Kindness Matters: Your best really is enough.
  • Vulnerability is Strength: Let your kids see it’s okay to feel.
  • Build Your Village: Lean on friends, therapy, and self-care to lighten the load.


Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear from you! If you’re a single parent, what challenges do you face and how have you learned to cope? Send us a voicemail or drop us a message—we're here to listen and support. 

Don't forget to share this episode with any single parents who could benefit from hearing these honest, relatable conversations.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16557951 Wed, 05 Feb 2025 04:00:00 +0000 1722 1 22 full false A Break from Booze: Why We’re Doing it And Why It’s Tough | Sanity Check A Break from Booze: Why We’re Doing it And Why It’s Tough | Sanity Check Episode Overview
In this episode of Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie reflect on their decision to take a break from alcohol. Sharing their personal experiences and challenges, they explore how alcohol affects them differently now, especially in the context of perimenopause. They discuss the cultural pressures around drinking, how alcohol impacts their energy, sleep, and mental health, and how stepping back has led them to rediscover a more mindful and present version of themselves.

Key Discussion Points

  • The impact of perimenopause on alcohol tolerance, including changes in sleep, energy, and anxiety.
  • How alcohol has historically been woven into social rituals and the challenges of changing these habits.
  • The importance of creating new, healthy habits to replace alcohol without feeling deprived.
  • The power of boundaries and normalising your choice to not drink in social situations.

Listener Takeaways

  • Aileen and Julie have both noticed clearer minds, more energy, and a greater sense of calm since stepping away from drinking.
  • Taking a break from alcohol can be a liberating choice that opens up new, healthier habits and routines.
  • It’s okay to change your relationship with alcohol – it doesn’t make you any less fun or social. Instead, it shows that you’re being intentional with what you want in your life.
  • Creating new rituals and habits, like replacing alcohol with tea or mindful activities, can help reduce the reliance on alcohol as a social crutch.
  • The journey of reducing or eliminating alcohol is personal, and there’s no need for perfection – it’s about what feels right for you.

Resource Mentioned

The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this episode of Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie reflect on their decision to take a break from alcohol. Sharing their personal experiences and challenges, they explore how alcohol affects them differently now, especially in the context of perimenopause. They discuss the cultural pressures around drinking, how alcohol impacts their energy, sleep, and mental health, and how stepping back has led them to rediscover a more mindful and present version of themselves.

Key Discussion Points

  • The impact of perimenopause on alcohol tolerance, including changes in sleep, energy, and anxiety.
  • How alcohol has historically been woven into social rituals and the challenges of changing these habits.
  • The importance of creating new, healthy habits to replace alcohol without feeling deprived.
  • The power of boundaries and normalising your choice to not drink in social situations.

Listener Takeaways

  • Aileen and Julie have both noticed clearer minds, more energy, and a greater sense of calm since stepping away from drinking.
  • Taking a break from alcohol can be a liberating choice that opens up new, healthier habits and routines.
  • It’s okay to change your relationship with alcohol – it doesn’t make you any less fun or social. Instead, it shows that you’re being intentional with what you want in your life.
  • Creating new rituals and habits, like replacing alcohol with tea or mindful activities, can help reduce the reliance on alcohol as a social crutch.
  • The journey of reducing or eliminating alcohol is personal, and there’s no need for perfection – it’s about what feels right for you.

Resource Mentioned

The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16516379 Thu, 30 Jan 2025 04:00:00 +0000 824 1 21 full false Boundaries: How Saying No Can Be the Ultimate Act of Self-Respect | YKMS Boundaries: How Saying No Can Be the Ultimate Act of Self-Respect | YKMS Episode Overview
In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive into the sometimes tricky but essential topic of boundaries. Prompted by a listener email reflecting on struggles with self-worth and boundary-setting, they explore why boundaries are so important for protecting your energy, maintaining healthy relationships, and fostering self-respect.

Both Aileen and Julie share personal stories of learning to say no, recognising resentment as a red flag, and overcoming the guilt that often comes with prioritising their own needs. They also discuss the powerful connection between boundaries and self-worth and why setting limits is not selfish but a profound act of self-care.

Key Discussion Points

  • Listener Story: Alison shares her struggle with people-pleasing and guilt around boundaries.
  • Why Boundaries Matter: They protect your energy and help you focus on what truly matters.
  • Boundaries & Self-Worth: Saying no is an act of self-respect—not selfishness.
  • Knowing When You Need One: Frustration, burnout, and resentment are key signals.
  • How to Set Them: Be clear, firm, and kind—without over-explaining or guilt.
  • Handling Reactions: Others may resist, but their response isn’t your responsibility.

Listener Takeaways

  1. Boundaries are Bridges, Not Barriers: They create healthier, more balanced connections while protecting your well-being.
  2. Resentment Is a Sign: If you’re feeling frustrated or drained, a boundary might be missing.
  3. It’s Okay to Prioritise Yourself: Learning to say no is not selfish—it’s self-respect.
  4. Stop Over-Explaining: You don’t owe anyone a lengthy justification for protecting your energy.
  5. Respect Yourself First: When you set boundaries, you teach others how to treat you and model self-respect.

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you! Have you set a boundary recently that’s brought you more peace? Or are you struggling to set one in your life?

  • Leave us a voicemail or message us on Instagram.
  • Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com
  • Share this episode with a friend who might need a reminder that boundaries are a form of self-love.

Final Thought

"Boundaries aren't barriers. They're bridges to healthier, happier lives."

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive into the sometimes tricky but essential topic of boundaries. Prompted by a listener email reflecting on struggles with self-worth and boundary-setting, they explore why boundaries are so important for protecting your energy, maintaining healthy relationships, and fostering self-respect.

Both Aileen and Julie share personal stories of learning to say no, recognising resentment as a red flag, and overcoming the guilt that often comes with prioritising their own needs. They also discuss the powerful connection between boundaries and self-worth and why setting limits is not selfish but a profound act of self-care.

Key Discussion Points

  • Listener Story: Alison shares her struggle with people-pleasing and guilt around boundaries.
  • Why Boundaries Matter: They protect your energy and help you focus on what truly matters.
  • Boundaries & Self-Worth: Saying no is an act of self-respect—not selfishness.
  • Knowing When You Need One: Frustration, burnout, and resentment are key signals.
  • How to Set Them: Be clear, firm, and kind—without over-explaining or guilt.
  • Handling Reactions: Others may resist, but their response isn’t your responsibility.

Listener Takeaways

  1. Boundaries are Bridges, Not Barriers: They create healthier, more balanced connections while protecting your well-being.
  2. Resentment Is a Sign: If you’re feeling frustrated or drained, a boundary might be missing.
  3. It’s Okay to Prioritise Yourself: Learning to say no is not selfish—it’s self-respect.
  4. Stop Over-Explaining: You don’t owe anyone a lengthy justification for protecting your energy.
  5. Respect Yourself First: When you set boundaries, you teach others how to treat you and model self-respect.

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you! Have you set a boundary recently that’s brought you more peace? Or are you struggling to set one in your life?

  • Leave us a voicemail or message us on Instagram.
  • Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com
  • Share this episode with a friend who might need a reminder that boundaries are a form of self-love.

Final Thought

"Boundaries aren't barriers. They're bridges to healthier, happier lives."

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16508250 Wed, 29 Jan 2025 04:00:00 +0000 1144 1 20 full false Demi Moore's Speech: Put Down the Measuring Stick and Be Enough | Sanity Check Demi Moore's Speech: Put Down the Measuring Stick and Be Enough | Sanity Check Episode Overview: 

In this short Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the powerful message of self-worth delivered by Demi Moore in her acceptance speech for her first acting award at the age of 62. Inspired by Moore's journey of resilience and self-belief, they explore the concept of being enough just as we are, and how we often get caught up in unrealistic standards and comparisons. Together, they discuss how we can let go of the measuring stick and embrace our inherent worth.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Demi Moore's inspiring speech and the message that we are enough, just as we are.
  • The concept of the "measuring stick" — the invisible bar we set for ourselves based on external standards.
  • The impact of comparisons and how they can undermine our self-worth, particularly in social media and career aspirations.
  • Overcoming negative feedback and criticism, and how Demi Moore's experience of being called a "popcorn actress" at 32 exemplifies resilience.
  • The importance of focusing on your own journey and celebrating small wins along the way.
  • Letting go of perfectionism, embracing imperfection, and practising self-compassion as steps to believing in your own worth.
  • How success is not defined by accolades or external validation, but by staying true to yourself and evolving at your own pace.

Listener Takeaways:

  • You are enough — stop measuring yourself against impossible standards.
  • Focus on your own unique worth and value, instead of comparing yourself to others.
  • Perfectionism is a burden. Embrace your imperfections and be kind to yourself.
  • It's never too late to rewrite your story and chase your dreams, no matter where you are in life.
  • Celebrate small achievements, and recognise how much you are growing every day.
  • Surround yourself with positive influences and let go of negativity.

Join the Conversation: We'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections on today's episode! How have you struggled with the idea of being "enough"? What steps have you taken to embrace your worth? Join us on social media or drop us a message to share your story. And as always, thank you for being part of our community.

Call to Action: If this episode resonated with you, don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share with someone who needs the reminder that they are enough just as they are.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview: 

In this short Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the powerful message of self-worth delivered by Demi Moore in her acceptance speech for her first acting award at the age of 62. Inspired by Moore's journey of resilience and self-belief, they explore the concept of being enough just as we are, and how we often get caught up in unrealistic standards and comparisons. Together, they discuss how we can let go of the measuring stick and embrace our inherent worth.

Key Discussion Points:

  • Demi Moore's inspiring speech and the message that we are enough, just as we are.
  • The concept of the "measuring stick" — the invisible bar we set for ourselves based on external standards.
  • The impact of comparisons and how they can undermine our self-worth, particularly in social media and career aspirations.
  • Overcoming negative feedback and criticism, and how Demi Moore's experience of being called a "popcorn actress" at 32 exemplifies resilience.
  • The importance of focusing on your own journey and celebrating small wins along the way.
  • Letting go of perfectionism, embracing imperfection, and practising self-compassion as steps to believing in your own worth.
  • How success is not defined by accolades or external validation, but by staying true to yourself and evolving at your own pace.

Listener Takeaways:

  • You are enough — stop measuring yourself against impossible standards.
  • Focus on your own unique worth and value, instead of comparing yourself to others.
  • Perfectionism is a burden. Embrace your imperfections and be kind to yourself.
  • It's never too late to rewrite your story and chase your dreams, no matter where you are in life.
  • Celebrate small achievements, and recognise how much you are growing every day.
  • Surround yourself with positive influences and let go of negativity.

Join the Conversation: We'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections on today's episode! How have you struggled with the idea of being "enough"? What steps have you taken to embrace your worth? Join us on social media or drop us a message to share your story. And as always, thank you for being part of our community.

Call to Action: If this episode resonated with you, don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share with someone who needs the reminder that they are enough just as they are.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16479667 Thu, 23 Jan 2025 04:00:00 +0000 652 1 19 full false Ageing is Not a Flaw: Stop Apologising and Start Celebrating the Value of Ageing | YKMS Ageing is Not a Flaw: Stop Apologising and Start Celebrating the Value of Ageing | YKMS Episode Overview
In this episode, Aileen and Julie discuss why women often feel the need to apologise for ageing, unpacking societal pressures and how our self-worth is tied to our appearance. They explore how to shift the narrative around ageing, embracing the wisdom and experience that come with it.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Ageing Double Standard: Why society praises ageing men but sidelines ageing women.
  • Beauty, Patriarchy & Capitalism: How women’s value has been linked to youth and appearance.
  • Media Representation: The lack of older women in film and TV and its impact on self-perception.
  • Appearance vs. Self-Worth: How beauty standards and social media shape women’s sense of value from a young age.
  • Reclaiming Ageing: Embracing ageing as a powerful journey filled with wisdom, confidence, and resilience.
  • Role Models: Women like Jamie Lee Curtis and Julia Roberts show us how to age with authenticity and pride.

Listener Takeaways

  • Ageing is a natural, beautiful process that should be celebrated, not feared.
  • Your worth is defined by who you are, not how you look.
  • Women gain so much as they age - wisdom, compassion, experience - and that is so much more valuable than youthful looks
  • It’s time to rewrite the narrative around ageing—let’s embrace it unapologetically.

Join the Conversation

  • Share your thoughts and experiences with ageing.
  • Leave us a voicemail, send a DM, or like and share this episode with a wise woman who needs to hear it.
  • Let’s continue to celebrate ageing and change the conversation together.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this episode, Aileen and Julie discuss why women often feel the need to apologise for ageing, unpacking societal pressures and how our self-worth is tied to our appearance. They explore how to shift the narrative around ageing, embracing the wisdom and experience that come with it.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Ageing Double Standard: Why society praises ageing men but sidelines ageing women.
  • Beauty, Patriarchy & Capitalism: How women’s value has been linked to youth and appearance.
  • Media Representation: The lack of older women in film and TV and its impact on self-perception.
  • Appearance vs. Self-Worth: How beauty standards and social media shape women’s sense of value from a young age.
  • Reclaiming Ageing: Embracing ageing as a powerful journey filled with wisdom, confidence, and resilience.
  • Role Models: Women like Jamie Lee Curtis and Julia Roberts show us how to age with authenticity and pride.

Listener Takeaways

  • Ageing is a natural, beautiful process that should be celebrated, not feared.
  • Your worth is defined by who you are, not how you look.
  • Women gain so much as they age - wisdom, compassion, experience - and that is so much more valuable than youthful looks
  • It’s time to rewrite the narrative around ageing—let’s embrace it unapologetically.

Join the Conversation

  • Share your thoughts and experiences with ageing.
  • Leave us a voicemail, send a DM, or like and share this episode with a wise woman who needs to hear it.
  • Let’s continue to celebrate ageing and change the conversation together.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16466990 Wed, 22 Jan 2025 00:00:00 +0000 1787 1 18 full false Procrastination Unpacked: Why We Avoid and How to Start | Sanity Check Procrastination Unpacked: Why We Avoid and How to Start | Sanity Check Episode Overview

In this quick Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie delve into one of the most relatable struggles we all face: procrastination. From the fear of failure to the pull of perfectionism, they discuss the many reasons we avoid tasks and share practical tips on how to break free from the cycle of procrastination.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why Procrastination Happens:
    Fear of failure, fear of success, perfectionism, lack of interest, and overwhelm are just some of the reasons why we procrastinate.
  • Personal Experience: Julie and Aileen discuss their personal struggles and the times they procrastinate the most.
  • The Emotional Toll of Procrastination:
    How guilt, shame, and the snowball effect of avoidance can drain your energy and confidence.
  • Breaking the Cycle:
    • Recognising the reasons behind procrastination.
    • Taking small, manageable steps to tackle tasks.
    • Finding accountability partners for support.
    • Being kind to yourself and focusing on progress over perfection.

Listener Takeaways

  • Procrastination is a universal experience, but it doesn't define your abilities or worth.
  • To overcome procrastination:
    1. Acknowledge and understand your reasons for avoiding tasks.
    2. Break tasks into smaller, bite-sized chunks.
    3. Start with just 5-10 minutes of work to build momentum.
    4. Celebrate small wins to keep yourself motivated.
    5. Seek support from friends or accountability partners.
  • Remember: Procrastination is a habit, and like any habit, it can be changed.


Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear how you handle procrastination! Share your tips or struggles with us:

  • Email: hello@youkeepmesane.com
  • Voicemail: Drop us a message – we’re here to listen.

Thanks for tuning in to this Sanity Check! Remember, you've got this—one small step at a time. Until next time!

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this quick Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie delve into one of the most relatable struggles we all face: procrastination. From the fear of failure to the pull of perfectionism, they discuss the many reasons we avoid tasks and share practical tips on how to break free from the cycle of procrastination.


Key Discussion Points

  • Why Procrastination Happens:
    Fear of failure, fear of success, perfectionism, lack of interest, and overwhelm are just some of the reasons why we procrastinate.
  • Personal Experience: Julie and Aileen discuss their personal struggles and the times they procrastinate the most.
  • The Emotional Toll of Procrastination:
    How guilt, shame, and the snowball effect of avoidance can drain your energy and confidence.
  • Breaking the Cycle:
    • Recognising the reasons behind procrastination.
    • Taking small, manageable steps to tackle tasks.
    • Finding accountability partners for support.
    • Being kind to yourself and focusing on progress over perfection.

Listener Takeaways

  • Procrastination is a universal experience, but it doesn't define your abilities or worth.
  • To overcome procrastination:
    1. Acknowledge and understand your reasons for avoiding tasks.
    2. Break tasks into smaller, bite-sized chunks.
    3. Start with just 5-10 minutes of work to build momentum.
    4. Celebrate small wins to keep yourself motivated.
    5. Seek support from friends or accountability partners.
  • Remember: Procrastination is a habit, and like any habit, it can be changed.


Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear how you handle procrastination! Share your tips or struggles with us:

  • Email: hello@youkeepmesane.com
  • Voicemail: Drop us a message – we’re here to listen.

Thanks for tuning in to this Sanity Check! Remember, you've got this—one small step at a time. Until next time!

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16421236 Thu, 16 Jan 2025 04:00:00 +0000 719 1 17 full false Anxiety: Our Stories, Struggles, and Ways to Cope | YKMS Anxiety: Our Stories, Struggles, and Ways to Cope | YKMS Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie share an honest, relatable conversation about anxiety—how it manifests, how it affects their lives, and the tools they’ve found to navigate through it. From childhood experiences and lifelong struggles to the surprising onset of anxiety in peri-menopause, they open up about their personal journeys and offer practical strategies for managing anxiety. This episode is a reminder that you’re not alone and that there are ways to find calm, even in the chaos.

Key Discussion Points

  • What Anxiety Feels Like: How it differs from stress and shows up in the body and mind.
  • Our Stories: Julie’s lifelong anxiety and Aileen’s peri-menopausal onset.
  • Coping Tools: Breathwork, boundaries, magnesium, movement, and creating a personal go-to list.
  • A New Perspective: Anxiety is often a symptom, not who you are. Talking about it reduces its power.

Listener Takeaways

  • You’re not alone—anxiety is more common than you think.
  • Small steps like mindfulness and self-care make a difference.
  • Help is available—and asking for it is a strength, not a weakness.
  • Anxiety doesn’t define you. Be kind to yourself.

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you. How does anxiety show up in your life, and what tools have helped you navigate it? Share your thoughts, stories, or questions with us!

Resources Mentioned

  • Jamie Clements (Breathwork Expert) – https://www.instagram.com/jamieclements_/ Free weekly Instagram breathwork sessions
  • Somatic Workouts for stress release – https://www.instagram.com/theworkoutwitch_/
  • London Nootropics (Mushroom Coffee) – A caffeine alternative for managing jitters

Thank you for listening!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie share an honest, relatable conversation about anxiety—how it manifests, how it affects their lives, and the tools they’ve found to navigate through it. From childhood experiences and lifelong struggles to the surprising onset of anxiety in peri-menopause, they open up about their personal journeys and offer practical strategies for managing anxiety. This episode is a reminder that you’re not alone and that there are ways to find calm, even in the chaos.

Key Discussion Points

  • What Anxiety Feels Like: How it differs from stress and shows up in the body and mind.
  • Our Stories: Julie’s lifelong anxiety and Aileen’s peri-menopausal onset.
  • Coping Tools: Breathwork, boundaries, magnesium, movement, and creating a personal go-to list.
  • A New Perspective: Anxiety is often a symptom, not who you are. Talking about it reduces its power.

Listener Takeaways

  • You’re not alone—anxiety is more common than you think.
  • Small steps like mindfulness and self-care make a difference.
  • Help is available—and asking for it is a strength, not a weakness.
  • Anxiety doesn’t define you. Be kind to yourself.

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you. How does anxiety show up in your life, and what tools have helped you navigate it? Share your thoughts, stories, or questions with us!

Resources Mentioned

  • Jamie Clements (Breathwork Expert) – https://www.instagram.com/jamieclements_/ Free weekly Instagram breathwork sessions
  • Somatic Workouts for stress release – https://www.instagram.com/theworkoutwitch_/
  • London Nootropics (Mushroom Coffee) – A caffeine alternative for managing jitters

Thank you for listening!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16421249 Wed, 15 Jan 2025 04:00:00 +0000 2109 1 16 full false Growth Through Adversity: How Challenges Shape Who We Become | Sanity Check Growth Through Adversity: How Challenges Shape Who We Become | Sanity Check Episode Summary

In this episode, Aileen and Julie explore the powerful, often difficult process of growth through adversity. Reflecting on their own life experiences—from heartbreak to major transitions—they discuss how challenging moments have fundamentally shaped who they are. Together, they ask whether personal growth always requires hardship and consider ways we can foster self-development even in calmer times. For anyone navigating a tough period or looking to cultivate growth without drama, this episode offers gentle encouragement and thoughtful perspectives.

Key Takeaways:

  • Growth Through Adversity: Aileen and Julie share personal stories of overcoming grief, loss, and life transitions. They reveal how these hardships ultimately brought greater strength, self-understanding, and compassion. 
  • Can We Grow Without Trauma? The hosts discuss whether growth must come through painful experiences, contemplating the role of intentional challenges, risk-taking, and stepping out of one’s comfort zone as alternative paths to growth. They reflect on the importance of self-acceptance and facing one’s fears before life forces a confrontation.
  • How to Embrace Growth, Even When It Hurts: For those facing difficult times, Aileen and Julie offer strategies to navigate pain and find growth within it. They share personal practices, like journaling, self-reflection, and letting emotions surface, to help process and embrace challenging emotions in a healthy way.

Quote of the Episode:
"To abolish all valleys is to get rid of all mountains." – Alan Watts, shared by Julie

Practical Advice:

  • Allow yourself to feel and process difficult emotions, using practices like journaling, mindful observation, and seeking support from trusted friends.
  • Recognise growth opportunities in smaller, intentional challenges, especially when life feels stable—take steps that expand your comfort zone in gentle, steady ways.

Join the Conversation:
Share your thoughts on growth through adversity or how you encourage self-development in calmer times. Join our Instagram group, send a voicemail, or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.

Thank you for listening! Join us next week for another honest conversation about navigating life’s challenges together.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Summary

In this episode, Aileen and Julie explore the powerful, often difficult process of growth through adversity. Reflecting on their own life experiences—from heartbreak to major transitions—they discuss how challenging moments have fundamentally shaped who they are. Together, they ask whether personal growth always requires hardship and consider ways we can foster self-development even in calmer times. For anyone navigating a tough period or looking to cultivate growth without drama, this episode offers gentle encouragement and thoughtful perspectives.

Key Takeaways:

  • Growth Through Adversity: Aileen and Julie share personal stories of overcoming grief, loss, and life transitions. They reveal how these hardships ultimately brought greater strength, self-understanding, and compassion. 
  • Can We Grow Without Trauma? The hosts discuss whether growth must come through painful experiences, contemplating the role of intentional challenges, risk-taking, and stepping out of one’s comfort zone as alternative paths to growth. They reflect on the importance of self-acceptance and facing one’s fears before life forces a confrontation.
  • How to Embrace Growth, Even When It Hurts: For those facing difficult times, Aileen and Julie offer strategies to navigate pain and find growth within it. They share personal practices, like journaling, self-reflection, and letting emotions surface, to help process and embrace challenging emotions in a healthy way.

Quote of the Episode:
"To abolish all valleys is to get rid of all mountains." – Alan Watts, shared by Julie

Practical Advice:

  • Allow yourself to feel and process difficult emotions, using practices like journaling, mindful observation, and seeking support from trusted friends.
  • Recognise growth opportunities in smaller, intentional challenges, especially when life feels stable—take steps that expand your comfort zone in gentle, steady ways.

Join the Conversation:
Share your thoughts on growth through adversity or how you encourage self-development in calmer times. Join our Instagram group, send a voicemail, or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.

Thank you for listening! Join us next week for another honest conversation about navigating life’s challenges together.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16385837 Thu, 09 Jan 2025 05:00:00 +0000 895 1 15 full false Purpose Reimagined: Discovering Your Spark in Everyday Moments | YKMS Purpose Reimagined: Discovering Your Spark in Everyday Moments | YKMS Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie explore the idea of purpose—not as a grand, singular mission, but as discovering your “spark.” They share personal stories and practical insights to help you identify the small, meaningful moments that bring joy and fulfilment, encouraging a more present and intentional approach to life.


Key Discussion Points

  • Challenging Traditional Views of Purpose: Why tying purpose to external achievements often leaves us unfulfilled.
  • Discovering Your Spark: What sparks are, how they make you feel alive, and why they’re not about productivity or impressing others.
  • Purpose as a Journey: How to reframe purpose as a daily practice of living fully, with curiosity and joy.


Listener Takeaways

  • Purpose doesn’t have to be grand; it’s about noticing and nurturing the small things that light you up.
  • Sparks evolve over time—stay curious and make space for them in your life.
  • Living with purpose is a journey of being present and choosing joy daily.


Join the Conversation

What’s your spark? Share your thoughts with us via voicemail, DM, or on social media. Let’s make 2025 a year of discovery and joy!

Thank you for tuning in—see you next time on You Keep Me Sane!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie explore the idea of purpose—not as a grand, singular mission, but as discovering your “spark.” They share personal stories and practical insights to help you identify the small, meaningful moments that bring joy and fulfilment, encouraging a more present and intentional approach to life.


Key Discussion Points

  • Challenging Traditional Views of Purpose: Why tying purpose to external achievements often leaves us unfulfilled.
  • Discovering Your Spark: What sparks are, how they make you feel alive, and why they’re not about productivity or impressing others.
  • Purpose as a Journey: How to reframe purpose as a daily practice of living fully, with curiosity and joy.


Listener Takeaways

  • Purpose doesn’t have to be grand; it’s about noticing and nurturing the small things that light you up.
  • Sparks evolve over time—stay curious and make space for them in your life.
  • Living with purpose is a journey of being present and choosing joy daily.


Join the Conversation

What’s your spark? Share your thoughts with us via voicemail, DM, or on social media. Let’s make 2025 a year of discovery and joy!

Thank you for tuning in—see you next time on You Keep Me Sane!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16385822 Wed, 08 Jan 2025 05:00:00 +0000 1652 1 14 full false A New Year’s Intention: Breaking the Addiction to Not Being Okay | Sanity Check A New Year’s Intention: Breaking the Addiction to Not Being Okay | Sanity Check Episode Overview

Happy New Year! In this special episode, Aileen and Julie introduce Sanity Check, a short weekly segment offering quick insights alongside their regular episodes. They explore the idea of being addicted to not feeling okay—a mindset where struggle and chaos feel normal—and share how they plan to break free from this cycle in 2025.


Key Discussion Points

  • Reframing Resolutions: Shift from pressure-filled resolutions to positive intentions like “I will drink more water” instead of “I won’t drink alcohol.”
  • Addicted to Not Being Okay: Why we cling to stress and drama, and how it can feel unfamiliar—even scary—to embrace calm and happiness.
  • Breaking the Cycle: Develop awareness, practise mindfulness, embrace joy, and let yourself sit with moments of contentment without seeking problems to solve.


Listener Takeaways

  • Reflect on how societal and personal stories keep us stuck in holding patterns of discontent.
  • Practise being present and recognising when things are okay.
  • Reframe your goals with kindness and focus on what lifts you up.


Join the Conversation

What’s your intention for 2025? Are you ready to let yourself feel okay? Share your thoughts by messaging us on Instagram, email or leaving a voicemail.

Here’s to a year of embracing calm. Happy New Year! 🎉

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

Happy New Year! In this special episode, Aileen and Julie introduce Sanity Check, a short weekly segment offering quick insights alongside their regular episodes. They explore the idea of being addicted to not feeling okay—a mindset where struggle and chaos feel normal—and share how they plan to break free from this cycle in 2025.


Key Discussion Points

  • Reframing Resolutions: Shift from pressure-filled resolutions to positive intentions like “I will drink more water” instead of “I won’t drink alcohol.”
  • Addicted to Not Being Okay: Why we cling to stress and drama, and how it can feel unfamiliar—even scary—to embrace calm and happiness.
  • Breaking the Cycle: Develop awareness, practise mindfulness, embrace joy, and let yourself sit with moments of contentment without seeking problems to solve.


Listener Takeaways

  • Reflect on how societal and personal stories keep us stuck in holding patterns of discontent.
  • Practise being present and recognising when things are okay.
  • Reframe your goals with kindness and focus on what lifts you up.


Join the Conversation

What’s your intention for 2025? Are you ready to let yourself feel okay? Share your thoughts by messaging us on Instagram, email or leaving a voicemail.

Here’s to a year of embracing calm. Happy New Year! 🎉

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-16349632 Thu, 02 Jan 2025 05:00:00 +0000 1061 1 13 full false Holding Patterns: What's Keeping You Stuck? | YKMS Holding Patterns: What's Keeping You Stuck? | YKMS Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie delve into holding patterns—the habits or beliefs that keep us stuck in life. These cycles, often rooted in fear or indecision, can prevent growth and change. Inspired by a heartfelt letter from a listener, Sue, they reflect on personal experiences and offer insights on recognising and breaking free from these patterns.

Through honest conversations, Aileen and Julie highlight the importance of self-awareness, small intentional steps, and trusted relationships in moving forward.

Key Discussion Points

Understanding Holding Patterns
Repetitive cycles that keep us stuck, often driven by unresolved fears or beliefs.

Listener Letter: Sue’s Story
Sue shares struggles with recurring drama and feeling unable to move forward, sparking today’s discussion.

Self-Awareness and Fear

  • Recognising where we’re stuck requires honesty and courage.
  • Julie discusses her fear of judgement and how confronting it has fostered growth.
  • Aileen reflects on low self-worth and unhealthy relationship patterns shaped by guilt.

Breaking the Cycle

  • Small, conscious changes—like saying no when it feels uncomfortable—are powerful.
  • Growth isn’t linear; setbacks are part of the journey.

The Role of Trusted Relationships

  • Having someone reflect your patterns back without judgement can be transformative.

Listener Takeaways

  • Recognise Patterns: Identify areas where you feel stuck or repeat unhelpful behaviours.
  • Ask Questions:
    • What’s holding me back?
    • Is fear or a belief shaping my choices?
    • What would I do if I weren’t afraid?
  • Start Small: Make one small, intentional change.
  • Reflect with Others: Share your thoughts with a trusted confidante.
  • Be Kind to Yourself: Growth takes time—celebrate progress, however small.

Join the Conversation

What holding patterns are showing up in your life? We’d love to hear your thoughts:

  • Email: hello@youkeepmesane.com
  • Instagram: @youkeepmesane.pod

If this episode resonates with you, please like and share it with someone who might benefit. Remember, growth starts with honesty.

Until next time, take care.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie delve into holding patterns—the habits or beliefs that keep us stuck in life. These cycles, often rooted in fear or indecision, can prevent growth and change. Inspired by a heartfelt letter from a listener, Sue, they reflect on personal experiences and offer insights on recognising and breaking free from these patterns.

Through honest conversations, Aileen and Julie highlight the importance of self-awareness, small intentional steps, and trusted relationships in moving forward.

Key Discussion Points

Understanding Holding Patterns
Repetitive cycles that keep us stuck, often driven by unresolved fears or beliefs.

Listener Letter: Sue’s Story
Sue shares struggles with recurring drama and feeling unable to move forward, sparking today’s discussion.

Self-Awareness and Fear

  • Recognising where we’re stuck requires honesty and courage.
  • Julie discusses her fear of judgement and how confronting it has fostered growth.
  • Aileen reflects on low self-worth and unhealthy relationship patterns shaped by guilt.

Breaking the Cycle

  • Small, conscious changes—like saying no when it feels uncomfortable—are powerful.
  • Growth isn’t linear; setbacks are part of the journey.

The Role of Trusted Relationships

  • Having someone reflect your patterns back without judgement can be transformative.

Listener Takeaways

  • Recognise Patterns: Identify areas where you feel stuck or repeat unhelpful behaviours.
  • Ask Questions:
    • What’s holding me back?
    • Is fear or a belief shaping my choices?
    • What would I do if I weren’t afraid?
  • Start Small: Make one small, intentional change.
  • Reflect with Others: Share your thoughts with a trusted confidante.
  • Be Kind to Yourself: Growth takes time—celebrate progress, however small.

Join the Conversation

What holding patterns are showing up in your life? We’d love to hear your thoughts:

  • Email: hello@youkeepmesane.com
  • Instagram: @youkeepmesane.pod

If this episode resonates with you, please like and share it with someone who might benefit. Remember, growth starts with honesty.

Until next time, take care.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16333384 Wed, 01 Jan 2025 05:00:00 +0000 1303 1 12 full false Merry Christmas! Whatever That Looks Like For You | YKMS Merry Christmas! Whatever That Looks Like For You | YKMS
Episode Overview

In this Christmas Day episode, Julie and Aileen hold space for every kind of Christmas—joyful, bittersweet, or quiet. They reflect on family traditions, the challenges the holiday can bring, and the importance of creating moments of connection and meaning, however the day unfolds.


Key Discussion Points

  1. The Complexity of Christmas
    • The holiday can bring joy but also amplify feelings of loneliness, grief, or overwhelm.
    • Acknowledging that it’s okay to feel however you feel today.
  2. Creating Connection
    • Small acts, like sending a message, taking a walk, or enjoying a film, can bring comfort.
    • Aileen and Julie share personal traditions and reflect on the joy of giving.
  3. Honouring Absent Loved Ones
    • Simple rituals, like playing a song or lighting a candle, can keep memories close.
  4. Letting Go of Perfection
    • Embrace the chaos and let go of the pressures of the season. Taking time for yourself is important.
  5. Gratitude and Presence
    • Gratitude can be found in small, quiet moments. Presence, not perfection, is what truly matters.


Listener Takeaways

  • Your emotions today are valid—whatever they may be.
  • Small moments of connection can make a difference.
  • Honour loved ones in ways that feel meaningful to you.
  • Let go of perfection and focus on what truly matters.


Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear about your Christmas—what brought you joy, what was challenging, or how you found meaning. Share with us via DM or voicemail, and join us in the New Year for more honest conversations.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]>
Episode Overview

In this Christmas Day episode, Julie and Aileen hold space for every kind of Christmas—joyful, bittersweet, or quiet. They reflect on family traditions, the challenges the holiday can bring, and the importance of creating moments of connection and meaning, however the day unfolds.


Key Discussion Points

  1. The Complexity of Christmas
    • The holiday can bring joy but also amplify feelings of loneliness, grief, or overwhelm.
    • Acknowledging that it’s okay to feel however you feel today.
  2. Creating Connection
    • Small acts, like sending a message, taking a walk, or enjoying a film, can bring comfort.
    • Aileen and Julie share personal traditions and reflect on the joy of giving.
  3. Honouring Absent Loved Ones
    • Simple rituals, like playing a song or lighting a candle, can keep memories close.
  4. Letting Go of Perfection
    • Embrace the chaos and let go of the pressures of the season. Taking time for yourself is important.
  5. Gratitude and Presence
    • Gratitude can be found in small, quiet moments. Presence, not perfection, is what truly matters.


Listener Takeaways

  • Your emotions today are valid—whatever they may be.
  • Small moments of connection can make a difference.
  • Honour loved ones in ways that feel meaningful to you.
  • Let go of perfection and focus on what truly matters.


Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear about your Christmas—what brought you joy, what was challenging, or how you found meaning. Share with us via DM or voicemail, and join us in the New Year for more honest conversations.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16326979 Wed, 25 Dec 2024 06:00:00 +0000 936 1 11 full false Pre-Christmas Chaos – Embracing "Good Enough" | YKMS Pre-Christmas Chaos – Embracing "Good Enough" | YKMS Episode Overview
In this festive sanity check, Aileen and Julie reflect on the chaos of the pre-Christmas period. From endless to-do lists and the pressure to create the "perfect" holiday, they share their personal experiences and remind us that good enough truly is good enough.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Holiday Juggle: Why the week before Christmas feels overwhelming and how 80% of people feel stressed by preparations.
  • Perfection Pressure: The emotional load of striving for a picture-perfect holiday often leaves us overwhelmed. Studies show that 42% of people feel pressured to create the "perfect" Christmas, with 1 in 5 finding it too stressful to enjoy. 
  • Personal Stories: Julie’s triple-whammy of Australian Christmas chaos (school year, summer holidays, and family travel) and Aileen’s strategy of setting the table a week early to stay sane.
  • Practical Advice: Lean into "good enough," let go of unnecessary tasks, and focus on connection and joy.

Listener Takeaways

  • Christmas is about the moments, not the details. Laugh at what goes wrong—it’s where the best stories come from.
  • Letting go of unrealistic expectations can help us focus on what truly matters—connection and joy.
  • Prioritise self-care, whether it’s a glass of wine, a cup of tea, or simply letting yourself off the hook.

Join the Conversation
How are you managing the pre-Christmas chaos? Share your stories with us via DM or voicemail—we’d love to hear from you!

Connect with Us
We’ll be back next week with more honest chats. Until then, take a breath and remember—it doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this festive sanity check, Aileen and Julie reflect on the chaos of the pre-Christmas period. From endless to-do lists and the pressure to create the "perfect" holiday, they share their personal experiences and remind us that good enough truly is good enough.

Key Discussion Points

  • The Holiday Juggle: Why the week before Christmas feels overwhelming and how 80% of people feel stressed by preparations.
  • Perfection Pressure: The emotional load of striving for a picture-perfect holiday often leaves us overwhelmed. Studies show that 42% of people feel pressured to create the "perfect" Christmas, with 1 in 5 finding it too stressful to enjoy. 
  • Personal Stories: Julie’s triple-whammy of Australian Christmas chaos (school year, summer holidays, and family travel) and Aileen’s strategy of setting the table a week early to stay sane.
  • Practical Advice: Lean into "good enough," let go of unnecessary tasks, and focus on connection and joy.

Listener Takeaways

  • Christmas is about the moments, not the details. Laugh at what goes wrong—it’s where the best stories come from.
  • Letting go of unrealistic expectations can help us focus on what truly matters—connection and joy.
  • Prioritise self-care, whether it’s a glass of wine, a cup of tea, or simply letting yourself off the hook.

Join the Conversation
How are you managing the pre-Christmas chaos? Share your stories with us via DM or voicemail—we’d love to hear from you!

Connect with Us
We’ll be back next week with more honest chats. Until then, take a breath and remember—it doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-16290720 Wed, 18 Dec 2024 05:00:00 +0000 861 1 10 full false Self-Worth in Kids: Why It Matters and What the Journey Looks Like | YKMS Self-Worth in Kids: Why It Matters and What the Journey Looks Like | YKMS Episode Overview
In this heartfelt episode, Aileen and Julie delve into the challenging but vital topic of self-worth in children. How do we help our kids feel worthy and enough when many of us struggle with self-worth ourselves? Inspired by a listener's letter, they explore what self-worth truly is, why it’s essential for kids, and how we can teach it while still learning it ourselves.

Key Discussion Points

  • What Is Self-Worth? Understanding it as an inner belief in your value—different from self-esteem.
  • The Cost of Low Self-Worth: Aileen and Julie share how chasing external validation shaped their lives.
  • Raising Resilient Kids: Teaching self-worth helps children handle setbacks and build healthy relationships.
  • The Parenting Balancing Act: Navigating our own self-worth while modelling it for our kids.
  • Practical Tools: Real examples—affirmations, praising effort, and creating emotionally safe spaces.

Listener Takeaways

  • Model It: Speak kindly about yourself and set boundaries your kids can learn from.
  • Praise the Process: Celebrate effort and inner qualities, not just achievements.
  • Separate the Deed from the Doer: Correct behaviour without labelling the child.
  • Validate Feelings: Show it’s okay to feel and fail—it’s how we grow.
  • Celebrate Uniqueness: Help kids own their strengths and quirks.
  • Own Your Mistakes: Apologising models accountability and unconditional love.

Resources

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

Raising Girls Who Like Themselves in a World That Tells Them They're Flawed by Kasey Edwards and Christopher Scanlan 

Join the Conversation

How do you nurture self-worth in your children? Have you found ways to model self-worth while on your own journey? Share your experiences with us via voicemail, email

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this heartfelt episode, Aileen and Julie delve into the challenging but vital topic of self-worth in children. How do we help our kids feel worthy and enough when many of us struggle with self-worth ourselves? Inspired by a listener's letter, they explore what self-worth truly is, why it’s essential for kids, and how we can teach it while still learning it ourselves.

Key Discussion Points

  • What Is Self-Worth? Understanding it as an inner belief in your value—different from self-esteem.
  • The Cost of Low Self-Worth: Aileen and Julie share how chasing external validation shaped their lives.
  • Raising Resilient Kids: Teaching self-worth helps children handle setbacks and build healthy relationships.
  • The Parenting Balancing Act: Navigating our own self-worth while modelling it for our kids.
  • Practical Tools: Real examples—affirmations, praising effort, and creating emotionally safe spaces.

Listener Takeaways

  • Model It: Speak kindly about yourself and set boundaries your kids can learn from.
  • Praise the Process: Celebrate effort and inner qualities, not just achievements.
  • Separate the Deed from the Doer: Correct behaviour without labelling the child.
  • Validate Feelings: Show it’s okay to feel and fail—it’s how we grow.
  • Celebrate Uniqueness: Help kids own their strengths and quirks.
  • Own Your Mistakes: Apologising models accountability and unconditional love.

Resources

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

Raising Girls Who Like Themselves in a World That Tells Them They're Flawed by Kasey Edwards and Christopher Scanlan 

Join the Conversation

How do you nurture self-worth in your children? Have you found ways to model self-worth while on your own journey? Share your experiences with us via voicemail, email

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16250079 Wed, 11 Dec 2024 05:00:00 +0000 2398 1 9 full false Always On: The Weight And Chaos of the Mental Load | YKMS Always On: The Weight And Chaos of the Mental Load | YKMS Episode Overview
In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie delve into the exhausting and often invisible reality of this life stage, the mental load and the chaos it can create in our lives. With the added pressures of the holiday season, they share honest reflections on the relentless demands of caregiving, managing households, and balancing work, all while navigating emotional and mental well-being. They also explore practical strategies for managing the overwhelm and embracing imperfection during life’s busiest stages.

Key Discussion Points

  • What Is Mental Load? The often-invisible strain carried by caregivers.
  • Why It’s Exhausting: Emotional, mental, and physical burnout from doing it all.
  • Life Stage Chaos: How work, parenting, and holidays amplify the pressure.
  • Guilt & Expectations: The myth of “doing it all” and its toll on self-worth.
  • New Perspective: Embracing imperfection and accepting life’s messiness.
  • Tools for Relief: Tips to manage mental load—boundaries, priorities, and asking for help.

Listener Takeaways

  • Feeling overwhelmed? You’re not alone.
  • “Good enough” is more than okay.
  • Boundaries and self-care help lighten the load.
  • Accepting your life stage can bring calm.
  • Asking for help is a strength, not a failure.

Quotes & Links Mentioned

“It takes courage to rest and play in a culture that sees exhaustion as a status symbol” - Brene Brown

For Incredible Holiday Portraits (discount code YKMS24):

https://www.gsixtysix.com/category/xmas24

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear your thoughts! How do you manage the chaos of mental load, particularly during the holiday season?

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with some

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview
In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie delve into the exhausting and often invisible reality of this life stage, the mental load and the chaos it can create in our lives. With the added pressures of the holiday season, they share honest reflections on the relentless demands of caregiving, managing households, and balancing work, all while navigating emotional and mental well-being. They also explore practical strategies for managing the overwhelm and embracing imperfection during life’s busiest stages.

Key Discussion Points

  • What Is Mental Load? The often-invisible strain carried by caregivers.
  • Why It’s Exhausting: Emotional, mental, and physical burnout from doing it all.
  • Life Stage Chaos: How work, parenting, and holidays amplify the pressure.
  • Guilt & Expectations: The myth of “doing it all” and its toll on self-worth.
  • New Perspective: Embracing imperfection and accepting life’s messiness.
  • Tools for Relief: Tips to manage mental load—boundaries, priorities, and asking for help.

Listener Takeaways

  • Feeling overwhelmed? You’re not alone.
  • “Good enough” is more than okay.
  • Boundaries and self-care help lighten the load.
  • Accepting your life stage can bring calm.
  • Asking for help is a strength, not a failure.

Quotes & Links Mentioned

“It takes courage to rest and play in a culture that sees exhaustion as a status symbol” - Brene Brown

For Incredible Holiday Portraits (discount code YKMS24):

https://www.gsixtysix.com/category/xmas24

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear your thoughts! How do you manage the chaos of mental load, particularly during the holiday season?

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with some

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16210740 Wed, 04 Dec 2024 05:00:00 +0000 2433 1 8 full false Menopause: The Elephant In The Room | YKMS Menopause: The Elephant In The Room | YKMS Episode Overview

In this episode, we dive into peri-menopause—something so many of us face, yet rarely talk about.
Aileen and Julie share their personal experiences with everything from brain fog and sleepless nights to unexpected symptoms like anxiety and allergies, offering honesty, insight, and a reminder that you’re not alone.

Key Discussion Points

  1. Acknowledging the Elephant in the Room - How menopause often feels sidelined, despite being a significant life transition.
  2. The Symptom Minefield - Exploring 48 recognised symptoms of menopause
  3. Navigating Treatments and Misstepn - The trial-and-error nature of finding solutions
  4. The Bigger Picture - The impact of menopause on relationships, and mental health.
  5. Reclaiming the Narrative - The power of knowledge and advocacy when seeking medical care.

Listener Takeaways

  • You’re not alone: Menopause is a shared journey—many women are going through it too.
  • Know your options: Understanding symptoms gives you back some control.
  • Reach out: Support from friends, GPs, or professionals can make all the difference.
  • Prioritise you: Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you! Share your menopause journey, what’s worked for you, and what hasn’t.  

Links & Resources Mentioned

For Incredible Holiday Portraits (discount code YKMS24):

https://www.gsixtysix.com/category/xmas24

48 Symptoms of Menopause: https://wuka.co.uk/blogs/menopause/48-symptoms-of-menopause

Book: Menopausing: The Positive Roadmap to Your Second Spring By Davina McCall & Dr Naomi Potter

Womenwise Health: https://women

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode, we dive into peri-menopause—something so many of us face, yet rarely talk about.
Aileen and Julie share their personal experiences with everything from brain fog and sleepless nights to unexpected symptoms like anxiety and allergies, offering honesty, insight, and a reminder that you’re not alone.

Key Discussion Points

  1. Acknowledging the Elephant in the Room - How menopause often feels sidelined, despite being a significant life transition.
  2. The Symptom Minefield - Exploring 48 recognised symptoms of menopause
  3. Navigating Treatments and Misstepn - The trial-and-error nature of finding solutions
  4. The Bigger Picture - The impact of menopause on relationships, and mental health.
  5. Reclaiming the Narrative - The power of knowledge and advocacy when seeking medical care.

Listener Takeaways

  • You’re not alone: Menopause is a shared journey—many women are going through it too.
  • Know your options: Understanding symptoms gives you back some control.
  • Reach out: Support from friends, GPs, or professionals can make all the difference.
  • Prioritise you: Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you! Share your menopause journey, what’s worked for you, and what hasn’t.  

Links & Resources Mentioned

For Incredible Holiday Portraits (discount code YKMS24):

https://www.gsixtysix.com/category/xmas24

48 Symptoms of Menopause: https://wuka.co.uk/blogs/menopause/48-symptoms-of-menopause

Book: Menopausing: The Positive Roadmap to Your Second Spring By Davina McCall & Dr Naomi Potter

Womenwise Health: https://women

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-16167680 Wed, 27 Nov 2024 05:00:00 +0000 2366 1 7 full false The Art of Listening - How Being Heard is Vital to Growth, Health and Connection | YKMS The Art of Listening - How Being Heard is Vital to Growth, Health and Connection | YKMS Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, we explore the art of listening and its impact on connection, growth, and health. Inspired by listener feedback, we discuss what it takes to be a good listener and how real listening strengthens relationships, helps us feel understood, and supports mental and physical well-being.

Key Discussion Points

  • Why Listening Matters: How truly listening (without interrupting or fixing) deepens connection.
  • Traits of a Good Listener:
    → Creates a safe, judgment-free space
    → Is fully present—even in voice messages
    → Offers empathy, not solutions
    → Holds space without rushing or pressure
  • Health Benefits: Being heard boosts mental and physical wellbeing by reducing emotional suppression.

Listener Takeaways

  • Empathy Builds Trust: “I hear you” can be more powerful than advice.
  • Connection Grows Through Listening: Stronger relationships start with presence.
  • It’s Good for Your Health: Sharing emotions freely supports wellbeing.
  • Space Creates Safety: Listening without pressure invites real vulnerability.

Links From The Show

Incredible holiday portraits for those in London (discount code YKMS24):

https://www.gsixtysix.com/category/xmas24   

For more about the impact of suppressing your feelings and staying silent:

https://time.com/6319549/silencing-women-sick-essay/

Join the Conversation

If this episode resonated with you we’d love to hear your stories of listening and being heard. Reach out through voicemail, DM, or in the comments to share your experience with empathy and listening— let’s continue building a supportive community grounded in presence and understanding.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, we explore the art of listening and its impact on connection, growth, and health. Inspired by listener feedback, we discuss what it takes to be a good listener and how real listening strengthens relationships, helps us feel understood, and supports mental and physical well-being.

Key Discussion Points

  • Why Listening Matters: How truly listening (without interrupting or fixing) deepens connection.
  • Traits of a Good Listener:
    → Creates a safe, judgment-free space
    → Is fully present—even in voice messages
    → Offers empathy, not solutions
    → Holds space without rushing or pressure
  • Health Benefits: Being heard boosts mental and physical wellbeing by reducing emotional suppression.

Listener Takeaways

  • Empathy Builds Trust: “I hear you” can be more powerful than advice.
  • Connection Grows Through Listening: Stronger relationships start with presence.
  • It’s Good for Your Health: Sharing emotions freely supports wellbeing.
  • Space Creates Safety: Listening without pressure invites real vulnerability.

Links From The Show

Incredible holiday portraits for those in London (discount code YKMS24):

https://www.gsixtysix.com/category/xmas24   

For more about the impact of suppressing your feelings and staying silent:

https://time.com/6319549/silencing-women-sick-essay/

Join the Conversation

If this episode resonated with you we’d love to hear your stories of listening and being heard. Reach out through voicemail, DM, or in the comments to share your experience with empathy and listening— let’s continue building a supportive community grounded in presence and understanding.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-16123204 Wed, 20 Nov 2024 05:00:00 +0000 1663 1 6 full false Judgement - It’s Impact On Who We Are | YKMS Judgement - It’s Impact On Who We Are | YKMS Episode Overview:
In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie unpack the impact of judgement—how it shapes our choices, fuels fear, and feeds the inner critic. Through personal stories and honest reflection, they explore how to move beyond judgement and into self-acceptance.

Key Discussion Points:

  • The Power of Judgement: How it influences self-worth and holds us back.
  • Fear of Being Judged: Childhood roots, societal pressures, and how it shows up today.
  • Self-Judgement: Why our inner critic often hits harder than others’ opinions.
  • Breaking Free: Practical tools to embrace self-compassion and stop taking on others’ projections.

Quote to Reflect On:
"Every time you judge someone, you reveal a part of yourself that needs healing."

Listener Story:
Samantha from Victoria shares her experience with judgement and finding self-acceptance.

Takeaways:

  • Notice when you judge (yourself or others) and choose compassion.
  • Speak kindly to yourself—perfection isn’t the goal.
  • Most people are too wrapped up in their own struggles to judge you.
  • You are enough, just as you are.

Join the Conversation:
Judgement affects us all—send us a DM or voicemail with your thoughts.
If this episode resonated, share it with a friend, leave a review, and follow us on Instagram.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:
In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie unpack the impact of judgement—how it shapes our choices, fuels fear, and feeds the inner critic. Through personal stories and honest reflection, they explore how to move beyond judgement and into self-acceptance.

Key Discussion Points:

  • The Power of Judgement: How it influences self-worth and holds us back.
  • Fear of Being Judged: Childhood roots, societal pressures, and how it shows up today.
  • Self-Judgement: Why our inner critic often hits harder than others’ opinions.
  • Breaking Free: Practical tools to embrace self-compassion and stop taking on others’ projections.

Quote to Reflect On:
"Every time you judge someone, you reveal a part of yourself that needs healing."

Listener Story:
Samantha from Victoria shares her experience with judgement and finding self-acceptance.

Takeaways:

  • Notice when you judge (yourself or others) and choose compassion.
  • Speak kindly to yourself—perfection isn’t the goal.
  • Most people are too wrapped up in their own struggles to judge you.
  • You are enough, just as you are.

Join the Conversation:
Judgement affects us all—send us a DM or voicemail with your thoughts.
If this episode resonated, share it with a friend, leave a review, and follow us on Instagram.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16087280 Wed, 13 Nov 2024 05:00:00 +0000 1488 1 5 full false Self Worth: Making The Shift From External Approval To Inner Strength | YKMS Self Worth: Making The Shift From External Approval To Inner Strength | YKMS Episode Overview In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Julie and Aileen dive into the topic of self-worth, exploring what it means, how we lose touch with it, and how to rebuild it from within. They share personal stories and insights into why self-worth is crucial for living authentically and setting healthy standards for oneself.

Key Discussion Points

  • What is Self-Worth? Understanding self-worth as an intrinsic sense of value, independent of achievements or external validation.
  • Losing Touch with Self-Worth: How societal conditioning and early praise tied to accomplishments can skew our perception of self-worth.
  • Rebuilding Self-Worth: Personal experiences of separating worth from external achievements and valuing inherent qualities.
  • Cultivating Self-Worth Daily: Practical strategies like gratitude practices, setting boundaries, and self-compassion to reinforce a strong sense of self.

Listener Takeaways

  • Self-worth isn’t something you earn; it’s inherent.
  • Focus on valuing your internal qualities and practising self-compassion.
  • Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are, and learn to validate yourself without external approval.

Join the Conversation We’d love to hear your experiences with self-worth. Where do you peg your self-worth, and how are you working to build it from within? Drop us a message or voicemail and, if this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who might need it.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Julie and Aileen dive into the topic of self-worth, exploring what it means, how we lose touch with it, and how to rebuild it from within. They share personal stories and insights into why self-worth is crucial for living authentically and setting healthy standards for oneself.

Key Discussion Points

  • What is Self-Worth? Understanding self-worth as an intrinsic sense of value, independent of achievements or external validation.
  • Losing Touch with Self-Worth: How societal conditioning and early praise tied to accomplishments can skew our perception of self-worth.
  • Rebuilding Self-Worth: Personal experiences of separating worth from external achievements and valuing inherent qualities.
  • Cultivating Self-Worth Daily: Practical strategies like gratitude practices, setting boundaries, and self-compassion to reinforce a strong sense of self.

Listener Takeaways

  • Self-worth isn’t something you earn; it’s inherent.
  • Focus on valuing your internal qualities and practising self-compassion.
  • Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are, and learn to validate yourself without external approval.

Join the Conversation We’d love to hear your experiences with self-worth. Where do you peg your self-worth, and how are you working to build it from within? Drop us a message or voicemail and, if this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who might need it.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Aileen Harvey and Julie Fahy Buzzsprout-16054995 Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:00:00 +0000 1868 1 4 full false Intro - How We Met and Why We Started the Podcast! | YKMS Intro - How We Met and Why We Started the Podcast! | YKMS Episode Summary: In this special introductory episode, Aileen and Julie share the story behind their chance meeting, the evolution of their friendship, and the inspiration behind You Keep Me Sane. From a serendipitous encounter in Greenwich Park to years of daily WhatsApp messages that became an anchor for both of them, they reflect on the challenges they’ve faced, the support they’ve shared, and their decision to bring these honest conversations to others. This episode provides insight into the friendship that forms the heart of You Keep Me Sane, a space where everyone can feel heard and understood.

Quote of the Episode:
"Everyone needs a friend who can catch all of that messiness and make them feel they’re not alone." – Aileen

Join the Conversation:
Feel free to join the You Keep Me Sane Instagram chat group or reach out via DM. Aileen and Julie would love to hear what resonates with you, and you can even email suggestions for future episodes at hello@youkeepmesane.com.

Thank you for listening! Tune in next week as Aileen and Julie dive deeper into the everyday challenges that connect us all.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Summary: In this special introductory episode, Aileen and Julie share the story behind their chance meeting, the evolution of their friendship, and the inspiration behind You Keep Me Sane. From a serendipitous encounter in Greenwich Park to years of daily WhatsApp messages that became an anchor for both of them, they reflect on the challenges they’ve faced, the support they’ve shared, and their decision to bring these honest conversations to others. This episode provides insight into the friendship that forms the heart of You Keep Me Sane, a space where everyone can feel heard and understood.

Quote of the Episode:
"Everyone needs a friend who can catch all of that messiness and make them feel they’re not alone." – Aileen

Join the Conversation:
Feel free to join the You Keep Me Sane Instagram chat group or reach out via DM. Aileen and Julie would love to hear what resonates with you, and you can even email suggestions for future episodes at hello@youkeepmesane.com.

Thank you for listening! Tune in next week as Aileen and Julie dive deeper into the everyday challenges that connect us all.

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-16023591 Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:00:00 +0000 807 1 1 full false Fear: How it Shows Up In Our Lives and How to Break Free | YKMS Fear: How it Shows Up In Our Lives and How to Break Free | YKMS Episode Summary:

In this episode, Aileen and Julie dive into the all-too-familiar experience of fear, exploring a quote that struck a chord:

“All you have to do is show up. Be late. Be scared. Be confused. Just be there. You'll figure out the rest as you go.”

They open up about how fear has shaped their journey—from launching the podcast to navigating personal and professional challenges. Whether it’s the fear of being seen, judged, failing, or not being ‘enough,’ they share honest reflections on what it takes to show up anyway.

Through candid stories and relatable insights, they explore how courage often begins with simply being present—especially when things feel uncertain. Tune in for a conversation about fear, vulnerability, and finding strength in showing up.

Key Topics Discussed:

  1. The importance of showing up, even when it feels uncomfortable or imperfect.
  2. Fear of being seen – what it means to step out of the shadows.
  3. Navigating the fear of judgment and learning to rely less on external validation.
  4. Facing the deep-seated fear of not being “enough” and embracing our true selves.
  5. Learning to overcome the fear of failure and stepping forward with courage.

Quote to Remember:

"All you have to do is show up. Be late. Be scared. Be confused. Just BE there. You’ll figure out the rest as you go."

Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear your thoughts! What are some of your biggest fears? How have you faced them? Reach out to us via voicemail or DM—let’s keep the conversation going!

Resources Mentioned:

Theodore Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" - Read the full speech here

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Summary:

In this episode, Aileen and Julie dive into the all-too-familiar experience of fear, exploring a quote that struck a chord:

“All you have to do is show up. Be late. Be scared. Be confused. Just be there. You'll figure out the rest as you go.”

They open up about how fear has shaped their journey—from launching the podcast to navigating personal and professional challenges. Whether it’s the fear of being seen, judged, failing, or not being ‘enough,’ they share honest reflections on what it takes to show up anyway.

Through candid stories and relatable insights, they explore how courage often begins with simply being present—especially when things feel uncertain. Tune in for a conversation about fear, vulnerability, and finding strength in showing up.

Key Topics Discussed:

  1. The importance of showing up, even when it feels uncomfortable or imperfect.
  2. Fear of being seen – what it means to step out of the shadows.
  3. Navigating the fear of judgment and learning to rely less on external validation.
  4. Facing the deep-seated fear of not being “enough” and embracing our true selves.
  5. Learning to overcome the fear of failure and stepping forward with courage.

Quote to Remember:

"All you have to do is show up. Be late. Be scared. Be confused. Just BE there. You’ll figure out the rest as you go."

Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear your thoughts! What are some of your biggest fears? How have you faced them? Reach out to us via voicemail or DM—let’s keep the conversation going!

Resources Mentioned:

Theodore Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" - Read the full speech here

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-16023542 Tue, 05 Nov 2024 21:00:00 +0000 2074 1 3 full false Redefining Success: Finding Your Own Path | YKMS Redefining Success: Finding Your Own Path | YKMS Episode Overview:

In this heartfelt episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie explore the often elusive concept of success. They delve into how societal definitions can overshadow personal aspirations and how we can redefine success on our own terms.

Key Discussion Points:

  1. What Success Means to Us: Aileen and Julie share their personal journey with the definitions of success, highlighting how these have evolved over the years.
  2. The Weight of Societal Expectations: A discussion on how societal norms can create pressure to conform to a specific idea of success, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
  3. The Role of Authenticity: The hosts emphasise the importance of aligning success with one’s values and passions, advocating for an authentic approach to life goals.
  4. Confronting Fear: They talk about the fears that often accompany the pursuit of success, such as fear of judgment and fear of failure, and how to navigate these challenges.
  5. Celebrating Small Wins: Aileen and Julie stress the significance of recognising and celebrating the small achievements that contribute to our journey toward larger goals.


Listener Takeaways:

  • Reflect on what success means to you personally and consider how it aligns with your values.
  • Challenge societal definitions of success and embrace your unique path.
  • Recognise the importance of celebrating small victories along the way.


Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear your thoughts! How do you define success? What fears have you encountered in your journey? Reach out to us via voicemail or DM—let’s keep the conversation going!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Episode Overview:

In this heartfelt episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie explore the often elusive concept of success. They delve into how societal definitions can overshadow personal aspirations and how we can redefine success on our own terms.

Key Discussion Points:

  1. What Success Means to Us: Aileen and Julie share their personal journey with the definitions of success, highlighting how these have evolved over the years.
  2. The Weight of Societal Expectations: A discussion on how societal norms can create pressure to conform to a specific idea of success, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
  3. The Role of Authenticity: The hosts emphasise the importance of aligning success with one’s values and passions, advocating for an authentic approach to life goals.
  4. Confronting Fear: They talk about the fears that often accompany the pursuit of success, such as fear of judgment and fear of failure, and how to navigate these challenges.
  5. Celebrating Small Wins: Aileen and Julie stress the significance of recognising and celebrating the small achievements that contribute to our journey toward larger goals.


Listener Takeaways:

  • Reflect on what success means to you personally and consider how it aligns with your values.
  • Challenge societal definitions of success and embrace your unique path.
  • Recognise the importance of celebrating small victories along the way.


Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear your thoughts! How do you define success? What fears have you encountered in your journey? Reach out to us via voicemail or DM—let’s keep the conversation going!

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer: 

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

]]> Buzzsprout-16015504 Thu, 31 Oct 2024 01:00:00 +0000 1843 1 2 full false