In this episode, the EngErotics team untangles pleasure, intimacy, and sex so they stop fighting for top billing in your brain. From squirrel‑watching and beekeeping to music, food, and quiet mornings alone, they show how everyday joy can be just as intimate as date night (with a lot less laundry).

We dig into Raven’s intimacy guide, how to feel close when you’re touched‑out, busy, or burnt crispy, and why intentional rest might be the sexiest thing you do all week. 

Expect real talk on boundaries, self‑care, receiving pleasure without guilt, and building rituals that make your relationship (with yourself and others) feel less like a chore and more like a soft place to land.

We’re talking anatomy, lube, flared bases (non‑negotiable!), warm‑up, aftercare, and why numbing creams are the villains of this story... not the heroes you were promised. 

We drag the stigma, not your butt, and get into how communication, consent, and curiosity turn “absolutely not” into “okay, maybe…” in a way that actually feels safe and sexy. 

From hygiene and STI risk to what to say when your partner floats the idea, this is your judgment‑free crash course in anal pleasure for all bodies and orientations.

We cover:

• Early perimenopause in your 30s: weird cycles, night sweats, and feeling like a stranger in your own body
• Brain fog, mood swings, and “second puberty” no one warned us about
• Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT): fighting for diagnosis, access, and insurance coverage
• Medical gaslighting and why women are still dismissed when they talk about pain, fatigue, and hormonal changes
• Generational trauma and TV tropes: how 80s/90s sitcoms shaped our ideas of “nagging wives” and “crazy women”
• Body image in midlife: learning to love the body you have now and set boundaries that protect your energy

We also touch on hysterectomy, vaginal atrophy, long COVID’s possible hormonal impact, and why younger generations’ boundary-setting is giving us hope.

If you’re moving through perimenopause or menopause and wondering, “Is it just me?” ...  it’s not. You’re not alone, you’re not broken, and this episode is your permission slip for more information, more support, and way more self-compassion.

The EngErotics team shows how small, bite-sized rituals, like hot showers, coffee moments, soft clothes, music, baking, or phone-free time with a partner, can become powerful self-care and intimacy tools. 

We also unpack why rest feels “rebellious,” how aging and body changes shift our experience of sex, and what it really means to enjoy the journey when orgasm isn’t the only goal.