When you survive childhood by being as good as possible, the drive to achieve and please often follows you into adulthood. What coping strategies once kept you safe but have outlived their purpose?

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From fleeing a war-torn homeland to navigating the chaos of a drama-filled family, Reza Farahan learned early that life rarely follows a straight path. Through every setback, his mother instilled one unwavering belief: no matter the challenge, he would find a way to win.

When relationships evolved, careers shifted, and opportunities disappeared—including the sudden end of a hit reality show—Reza faced each crossroads with the same mindset: this isn't the end of the story.

In this episode, Reza shares why the way you approach phoenix cycles matters. At every new juncture, you can choose to expect defeat or envision success. Why not bet on yourself and picture the win?

Buy Reza's new book, Memoirs of a Gay Shah, HERE

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When you're faced with a choice, do you play it safe? Do you think about the future before the moment? Or are you the type to leap first and figure it out on the way down?

Life constantly asks us to choose between caution and risk. Experience can make us wiser—but it can also make us more hesitant. So where's the balance? At what point does protecting ourselves begin to keep us from truly living?

Join us as we explore the tension between playing it safe and taking the leap, and ask an important question: When does caution preserve our lives... and when does it keep us from experiencing the beautiful, fragile, finite life we've been given?

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For years, Daniella Capitano lived with a secret that fueled pain, silence, and addiction. Growing up in a home marked by abuse and hidden truths, she learned to numb her emotions rather than face them.

But everything changed when she decided to reclaim her voice.

In this powerful episode, Daniella shares her journey from survival to healing, from addiction to freedom, and from silence to strength. Her story is raw, inspiring, and a reminder that our past does not have to define our future.

Find her at: daniellacapitano.com/mindset-coaching

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Plot vs Theme. Fact vs Feeling. What vs So What.

The events of our lives may seem straightforward—but the meaning we make from them is where the real story unfolds. In this episode, Cami and Amanda explore the difference between what happened and what it means, and how digging into the “So What?” can reveal deeper insights, healing, and understanding. Join them for a thoughtful conversation about finding clarity, perspective, and peace in the stories we tell ourselves about our lives.

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After losing her home and everything she owned in the Palisades fire, screenwriter Firdosi Wharton-Ali faced the unimaginable: a chance to begin again from nothing. But instead of only rebuilding what was lost, she chose to reimagine what her life could become.

First, she poured herself into helping others in her community recover and heal. Then she turned inward. Standing in the ashes of one life, she made the courageous decision to let go of other things no longer serving her—old fears, patterns, expectations, and ways of living that had quietly burned out long before the fire arrived.

This is a story about loss, resilience, and the rare opportunity hidden inside life’s hardest moments: the chance not just to rebuild, but to transform.

Check out her VIDEO about the fire.

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Can men and women really be “just friends”? As When Harry Met Sally declared, “the sex part always gets in the way,” cross-gender friendships have always carried a certain cultural tension. But are we still stuck in that narrative?

This week, Cami and Amanda unpack the emotional complexity of friendships across genders: jealousy, boundaries, attraction, emotional intimacy, and the unspoken expectations that can quietly reshape a relationship. Why do these friendships sometimes feel so loaded—and is there a way to make them work without the drama?

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Ashley Borden—celebrity fitness coach and no-nonsense truth-teller—has built a career helping others transform their lives. But her own story is just as powerful. Like many of us, she’s faced breaking points, burned it all down, and rebuilt from the ashes more than once.

In this episode, Ashley opens up about one of her most powerful, life changing decisions: choosing herself over her emotionally unsafe “female parent”. It raises a question many people quietly wrestle with—does a biological bond entitle someone to unlimited access to our lives, no matter the harm they cause? And if not, where do we draw the line?

Together, Mindi and Ashley unpack what it really means to set boundaries, how to recognize when enough is enough, and why choosing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Find Ashley at ashleyborden.com or on Instagram @ ashleybordenfitness

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What does it really mean to be “old?" Is there a moment when you’re supposed to hang up your soccer cleats, retire your dance shoes, or put away the baseball mitt for good?

This episode challenges the idea that aging has to mean slowing down or settling for less. Yes, the years add up—but who says they have to take your curiosity, energy, or sense of possibility with them?

We explore how to stay open, playful, and fully engaged with life at any age—and why the secret might be as simple (and as powerful) as approaching each new chapter with a bold, enthusiastic: “Yes, and…!”

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Meet Final Straw — our bold new series hosted by the incredible Mindi Rivin.

Every transformation has a breaking point. That split-second when something inside you snaps and you think: I’m done. The job, the relationship, the city, the version of yourself you’ve outgrown — whatever it is, the final straw has landed.

And from that moment? Everything changes.

Final Straw dives into the raw, unforgettable turning points that push people to burn it all down and start again. These are the stories that are heartbreaking, hilarious, messy, and completely definitive — the exact moments where staying the same is no longer an option.

Because sometimes, you don’t rise from the ashes until you’re willing to light the match.

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Would you run a marathon? Now imagine running two back-to-back—no breaks, no excuses, just grit.

Cami doesn’t just test her limits—she obliterates them. After a decade of dreaming, training, and refusing to quit, she’s finally conquered a 50-mile ultramarathon. But this isn’t just a story about running—it’s about resilience, mindset, and what happens when you refuse to give up, even when your body is screaming at you to stop.

In this episode, we dive into the unfiltered reality of pushing through pain, breaking mental barriers, and finishing what you start. Whether you’re a runner or not, Cami’s journey will challenge the way you think about discomfort, discipline, and your own untapped potential.

How far could you go if you didn’t quit?

Links: badgermountainchallenge.com; https://youtu.be/ReYcQFaX07g?si=LFEpz5rnpDPwXYMT

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Creativity isn’t reserved for artists—it’s something every one of us needs. But what happens when you feel burned out, like the fire has gone out and you’re left standing in the ashes with no energy, motivation, or ideas?

The truth is, creativity doesn’t return all at once. It comes back the same way it often begins: one small step at a time.

Join Amanda and Cami as they share how they gently rekindle their creativity when inspiration feels far away—and how even the smallest spark can help the fire begin to glow again.

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Danielle’s master’s degree project took her to Thailand, where she interviewed current and former sex workers. One woman’s answer changed her life forever.

Twelve years later, Danielle and her co-founder Nee created Shared Space for All, an organization dedicated to supporting families in Thailand’s poorest region. Together, they have helped hundreds of children stay in school, kept families together, and opened the door for bright young students to pursue college.

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After escaping a high-control religious environment, Heidi Fischbach dedicated her life to helping others not just survive—but truly thrive. She holds a master’s degree from Harvard and multiple professional certifications, equipping her to help clients reset their nervous systems and experience lasting freedom. Find her at heidifischbach.com.

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Do you have a goal, resolution, or “focus” guiding your year? Even with the best intentions, what happens when you miss a day or fall off track? Cami and Amanda share an honest, uplifting conversation about staying focused on what matters, finding grace when you stumble, and getting back up after a setback—or even a complete reset. Plus, don’t miss one of our favorite TED Talks mentioned in this episode for an extra dose of motivation.

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Kristi Lyn Reddy is one of the strongest women we know—and we know a lot of strong women. She rescued herself and her daughter from domestic violence, built a successful real estate business, won a hard-fought battle with cancer, and recently returned to school to reinvent herself and rise once again. Find her at BalancedLivingTherapy.com for therapy, KristiLynReddy.com as an author, and ReddyRealEstateTeam.com for real estate. 

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Goals? Resolutions? Bucket lists? How do we decide what’s actually worth chasing—and what “success” even looks like for us? In this episode, we explore how to set meaningful goals, define our own finish lines, and create realistic plans to get where we want to go.

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Wills and trusts attorneys sit at a rare intersection of law, family, and mortality. They see the practical realities of what happens when someone dies—but also the emotional, often messy human side of it. From that vantage point, someone like Amelia Heath can offer remarkably grounded wisdom about both grief and planning. 

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It’s incredibly painful when your grief is still raw but the world around you seems to have moved on. That mismatch—between your inner reality and others’ expectations—can make you feel isolated, defective, or misunderstood. But nothing is wrong with you. Grief is not linear, it does not follow schedules, and it certainly does not obey other people’s comfort levels.

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Debbie has spent much of her life untangling the knots of shame and blame—trying to understand what truly belongs to her and what never should have. While the answers might seem obvious to some, they become far more elusive when you’re raised in a toxic spirituality that insists you’re always at fault. From the clothes she wore to the abuse she endured, the cult-like faith of her upbringing constantly turned the blame inward. But in the ashes of that pain, Debbie did the hard work—learning to lay down what was never hers to carry and, at last, breathing in the deep, healing air of freedom.

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Mindi Rivin spent much of her adolescence searching for herself on the streets, navigating instability and hardship. Eventually, she found safety and a sense of purpose at a local community college, where she began to rebuild her life. As a young adult, she became engaged—only to be confronted with the unexpected: her fiancé announced they would be living under the strictest tenets of Orthodox Judaism. Faced with yet another extreme, Mindi had to reckon with the chaotic forces of her past and the rigid expectations of her future. Through this journey, she discovered how to burn away those extremes and carve a path toward balance, family, and a deeper sense of wholeness.

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What happens when women walk away from extreme religion?
Beyond Belief, edited by Cami Ostman and Susan Tive, shares powerful, personal stories from women who left rigid faith communities. These narratives reveal not only the control and misogyny often embedded in religious orthodoxy, but also the deep allure—belonging, purpose, and spiritual meaning. Honest, raw, and reflective, this collection explores the courage it takes to leave—and the complexity of what’s left behind.

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Ronna Russell is a two-time author (The Uncomfortable Confessions of a Preacher’s Kid, Scold's Bridle) and visual artist. Ronna talks with Cami and Amanda about her multiple times through the phoenix cycle finding her faith, her fire, and ultimately her freedom. View her art and follow Ronna on Instagram @scrapartcrone.

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Why is it so hard to talk about sex? And if it’s such a struggle, why do we keep coming back to it? This universal experience often leaves us questioning ourselves, our desires, and our relationships. What messages did we absorb as children that now keep us silent—afraid, ashamed, and stuck in the dark? It’s time to flip the switch, break the silence, and find some real freedom.

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Kyle Firstenberg has lived through a series of Phoenix moments—periods of profound transformation where life demanded he rise from the ashes and reinvent himself. Each chapter forged a stronger, more intentional version of who he is. The result? A man who now chooses his path with clarity and courage. Today, Kyle lives life on the road—traveling, seeking adventure, and helping others experience the fullness of life through their own moments of discovery and reinvention.

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Amanda and Cami explore how stepping out of your comfort zone can open your eyes to new possibilities, help you get unstuck, and move through the ashes of what’s no longer serving you. One of their favorite tools for transformation? Travel—not the vacation kind, but real, perspective-shifting travel. Tune in to hear how shaking up your surroundings can help you shake things loose and move ahead with clarity and purpose.

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Jennifer Drennan is a 23-year critical care nurse and the mother of a special needs,
disabled and autistic teenage child. When Jennifer’s daughter, Caitlyn, was born in 2010 with congenital, stage 4 cancer, Jennifer was unexpectedly thrust into on the other side of the healthcare spectrum, a totally unfamiliar world of having to learn how to parent and advocate for her medically complex child. Jenn had to navigate through the grief, anger and guilt-ridden resentment of the ashes, eventually discovering that, in order to find peace and joy again, she must ask for help, and surrender to the unknowns while navigating this mysterious and lonely wilderness. Jenn is now a passionate advocate for the disability community, both as a parent and healthcare professional. Follow her journey at https://www.instagram.com/jendrennanrn/

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We all make bad bargains. We stay in relationships for security or stay in jobs for fear of change while living with consequences that are just too high. Bad bargains keep us stuck in the ashes and make it almost impossible for us to move forward and soar again. How do we break these bad bargains? How do we even know we're living with a bad bargain? Cami and Amanda walk us through the process.

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Keely Carolan, a twenty-three year old rock climber and climbing coach, nearly lost her vocation and avocation when her body started to break down. Instead of giving up her dreams, she learn how to slow down, listen to her body, and embrace life at a new pace. You will be encouraged by her story of rising from the ashes to living out this new wisdom so early in life.

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Cami and Amanda talk about times and ways music helps them tap into their deep joy. When we are sitting in the ashes, we often distract ourselves from the pain and discomfort, which can be health... to a point. Learn the difference between distraction and turning your attention to the under-current of passion within you.

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Shannon Knight is a psychotherapist, host of The Tarot Diagnosis podcast, and the creator The Symposium, a community of tarot and psychology. Can you use symbolic tools to help you through the ashes? 

Shannon is also the author of two work books, with a third coming soon: Dark Shadow, Golden Shadow exploring shadow work through tarot. 

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How do you talk to your beloved aunt about politics? What do you do when a good friend says something you cannot imagine they believe? We live in polarizing times. But that doesn't mean we have to lose out on relationships which are important to us! Cami and Amanda riff on ways to help with the most difficult conversations. 

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Cami and Amanda talk about what how even the helpers need help from time to time. Where do you turn when hope that you have held onto (sometimes for ages) in a certain area fades away? How do you know when to let go of hope and look for another answer? Info on the group coaching program at phoenix-lessons.com

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Brooke Warner is passionate champion of authors and co-host of the Write-minded podcast. She started her publishing career in 2000 and worked for traditional publishers for 13 years. In 2012, she left her job as Executive Editor of Seal Press to co-found She Writes Press. She tells the story of why she left traditional publishing in her TEDx talk: “Green-Light Revolution.” Find out more at brookewarner.com

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Cami and Amanda riff on how hard it is to be patient in the ashes. How do you handle not knowing what is coming next or when that next phase will begin? 

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Colleen Haggerty, author of A Leg to Stand On: An Amputee's Walk Into Motherhood, discusses her journey through losing her leg in a car accident and subsequent path to forgiveness and freedom. Colleen now uses her hard-won wisdom to help others as a Soul Tender. Find out more at colleenhaggerty.com or watch her Tedx Talk: Forgiving the Unforgivable.

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Have you ever been in a long conversation with someone only to discover that the words or phrases you are using mean something totally different to the person across the table than they mean to you? We certainly have. So we're doing a series of episodes about some of the words we have found where our definitions don't necessarily line up. First of the docket: Forgiveness. 

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One of Bobby McFarland’s Phoenix moments led him to become a living kidney donor, a UNOS Transplant Living ambassador, and the leader of a living donors’ climb up Kilimanjaro. Stacey Solain was working with organizations providing clean water access around the globe when her Phoenix moment began. Now, together, they are creating spaces for all of us to live in love and light.

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The classic story of Beauty and the Beast (or Phantom of the Opera or Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey) has been popular for centuries. But how does this idea that the female can and needs to be quiet, good, pure enough, love strongly enough to turn the beast into a handsome prince effect us? Amanda and Cami set fire to this concept and advocate for a different way of being in relationship. 

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Ash Rodriguez, a Seattle-based award-winning food writer, photographer, author of three cookbooks, and host of the James Beard nominated series, Kitchen Unnecessary, talks about her spiritual journey beyond the world of food. She’s getting in touch with where our food comes from as a forager and Nature and Forest Therapy Guide amidst her process of rising anew. Learn more at ashrod.earth. 

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Cami, with the help of her brothers, built a yurt on a piece of property formerly owned by her grandparents. This experience, which she expected to navigate alone and 'off of the grid,' became a moment of reconnection for the whole family. Cami and Amanda explore the value of restful connection in the ashes and how we can all create restful moments in our lives, with or without escaping to the wilderness. 

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Who controls your life? Lauren Trantham (Ride My Road) and Tom Perez (Epik Project), the team that brings you The Masculine Wilderness podcast, talk about their personal stories of undoing and remaking themselves which led them to their work in countering human trafficking. They show us how to approach a problem that appears to big to solve, by adjusting our perspective. 

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We all face challenges in life. Caraline (of caralinesadventure) faced a devistating and debilitating accident all-to reminicent of a childhood trauma. Undaunted and determined to rise from the ashes as a powerhouse woman and stellar mom, she rose to become an influencer and inspiration to thousands.   

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We all face obstacles which slow our progress. We may also have unrecognized support which can us fly towards our destination more quickly. Does it matter which we focus on? Cami and Amanda talk about how our natural, human tendency to focus on the headwinds of life can keep us in the ashes longer than necessary.  

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Garth Neufeld, a psychology professor, podcaster, speaker, and life coach, joins the show to discuss his personal Phoenix moments and how the basic cycles within our lives give us built-in opportunities to create new versions of ourselves and fly again in service to others. Follow Garth at https://psychsessions.org/ and https://www.onmissionconsulting.com/

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The story of King Arthur, Sir Gawain, and the Lady Ragnell tells the tale of kings, knights, and curses leading us to some deep truth about female agency. What do women want? And how does the power of their choices effect the patriarchal world around them? Put yourself in the place of the first cursed, then freed Lady Ragnell and decide how your Phoenix story will end. 

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Phoenix lessons are the stories and teachings of those who can show us how to climb out of the ashes and fly again. Cami and Amanda unpack the Phoenix story and the stages of the life/death/life cycle that we all experience from time to time. Is there something in your life that needs to (metaphorically) burn? Are you stuck in the ashes? Are you ready to soar again as a new version of yourself? Let's find out.

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The fabled Phoenix offers us some guidance whenever we find ourselves needing to remake our lives. Periodically she makes a nest, situates inside of it, combusts herself, and then rises again from her own ashes into a new, more spectacular version. Join us as we listen to stories from around the world and people just like you who know what it is to rise again from the ashes and soar once again! 

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