John and Alexx Hate Stuff

Masters of the Universe

Mon, 17 Aug 2026 12:00:00 -0700

Despite Masters of the Universe being a movie at odds with itself and full of stale Marvel quips, Alexx still liked it. John did not. Listen as they battle for the sword of correct opinions.

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Good Luck Have Fun Don't Die

Sun, 02 Aug 2026 23:00:00 -0700

You know the internet, right? What if I told you the internet would become...bad? That's what Gore Verbinski would have you believe in his whack-a-doo time-traveling satire, Good Luck Have Fun Don't Die. Is it artificially intelligent, clever satire or is just bone stupid in that way only humans can be?

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Dracula (2025)

Mon, 20 Jul 2026 03:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx channel their inner Francis Ford Coppola to discuss Luc Besson's Dracula.

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Project Hail Mary

Mon, 06 Jul 2026 00:00:00 -0700

There is a problem with Earth's sun that will wipe out all life. Our only hope is to send Ryan Gosling into space to do some wacky bits.

In this episode we explore the inherent difficulty in adapting works across mediums, genetic predestination, and a cool rock.

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Exit 8

Mon, 22 Jun 2026 12:00:00 -0700

One WEIRD trick to escape the wheel of Samsara and end your never-ending cycle of suffering. The Dalai Lama HATES him!

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The Bride!

Mon, 08 Jun 2026 02:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx paint their faces and chant a nonsensical catchphrase while discussing 2026's The Bride!

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Send Help

Mon, 25 May 2026 02:00:00 -0700

The boys channel their inner Jeff Probst to discuss Sam Raimi's newest: Send Help

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Dust Bunny

Mon, 11 May 2026 02:00:00 -0700

Bryan Fuller? I Barely know her? Please enjoy that temporary write up joke while listening to the boys discuss "Dust Bunny"

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HIM

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0700

What if you were *too* ready for some football?

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28 Years Later: The Bone Temple

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0700

We return to post-apocalyptic Britain for one more party in the ossuary.

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V for Vendetta

Sun, 29 Mar 2026 23:00:00 -0700

Hollywood took a simple story about a violent anarchist overthrowing a fascistic government through terrorism and made it political.

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Out of Bounds (1986)

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0700

The boys lament Anthony Michael Hall's choices while discussing Out of Bounds.

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Predator: Badlands

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0800

A movie for everyone who has had prove themselves to their dad by finding him a cool skull.

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Tarot

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

Disappointment is in the cards for the boys as they are a dealt a losing hand with this teen horror stinker.

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The Smashing Machine

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 12:00:00 -0800

The fellas enter the octagon to grapple about the Mark Kerr biopic. Alexx thinks it's empty and pointless. John headbutts Alexx. Who is right? Listen and find out!

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Bugonia

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 03:00:00 -0800

John and Alexx shave their heads and put on their fanciest tinfoil top hats to discuss Yorgos Lanthimos' newest film, Bugonia.

Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/alexxbollen

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Superman (2025)

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 01:00:00 -0800

A guy that can fly around, is nice to everyone but...isn't Santa!?! As crazy as that sounds, James Gunn makes it work in his Superman reboot.

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Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 03:00:00 -0800

John and Alexx discuss, in their best southern lawyer / Foghorn Leghorn voices, the newest Knives Out film: Wake Up Dead Man.

Jenny Nicholson discusses "Trigger Warning": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMgMr0JcYJ4

Dove Makes' Hunger Games Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9kpeHgscU4

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Fantastic Four: First Steps

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Talking about the Fantastic Four movie. Not that one, the other one.

No, the other other one.

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Frankenstein

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

If you've ever read this novel and thought "This would be better if everyone was hot as hell", Guillermo Del Toro wants you to know you are not alone.

You're wrong, but you're not alone.

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Cabin in the Woods

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 02:00:00 -0800

John and Alexx gas up the 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88, dust off the ol' necronomicon, and discuss 2011's Cabin in the Woods.

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28 Years Later

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0700

The boys discuss the feel-good movie of the year which tells you a lot about 2025.

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The Lodge

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 20:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx owe the Halloween season an apology as they discuss the Lodge. A movie that dares to ask the question: What would it look like if tedium were manifested on an industrial scale? The answer may surprise you... assuming you're very dumb. It's tedious. The answer is that the movie is extremely tedious.

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Bring Her Back

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Kicking off a month of horror with this 2025 shocker. Find out what can go wrong when "foster" is not just Australian for beer.

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Cuckoo

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 03:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx sit on a small chair across from the bed to watch... oh, wait, it's pronounced like coo-coo. Yeah, that's awkward. Anyway, we watched Cuckoo.

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Barbarian

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0700

A movie that asks "Who is the real monster?" Is it the actual monster? Is it Man? Or is it Alexx for not really enjoying this 2022 horror movie? Answers lie within so listen close!

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Patreon episode: Sinners

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 03:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx are on summer break so please enjoy this episode from the Patreon feed "Sinners"

https://www.patreon.com/alexxbollen

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In the Lost Lands

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 00:00:00 -0700

The fellas ride into the desolate wasteland that is this 2025 sci-fi slog based on a George RR Martin tale.

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The Getaway (1994)

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 00:00:00 -0700

The boys look back at this tough-as-nails crime thriller featuring Hollywood's sexiest stars (and James Woods) doing unsexy things (being shot, falling in garbage, James Woods).

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The Martian

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Who knew that being lost on an alien planet could be so low stakes? Ridley Scott casts away human drama in favor of the charm of Matt Damon.

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Cleaner

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 03:00:00 -0700

Daisy Ridley came here to kick ass and use windex, and she's all out of windex. So, you know, she kicks ass... because of the lack of windex... this guy gets it.

John and Alexx watched Cleaner.

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Captain America: Brave New World

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 02:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx endure watching the sequel to that one Hulk movie from sorta before everything connected... no, the other one. Yeah, with the Fight Club guy. We forgot it too. Anyway, we watched Captain America: Brave New World- it's very not good! At least Harrison Ford looked like he was having fun though.

Captain America: Brave New World

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Dead Ringers

Mon, 26 May 2025 03:00:00 -0700

Twin drug addict gynecologists, John and Alexx, watch Dead Ringers- a movie about two very similar looking doctors.

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Kraven

Mon, 12 May 2025 02:00:00 -0700

We had to push back the regular episode, so in its place please enjoy this discussion of Kraven from the Patreon

https://www.patreon.com/c/alexxbollen

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Heat

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Finally, for the first time, John and Alexx share a table and blow the doors off the place with their performance. And by that, I mean, they make jokes and talk about Heat.

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Sicario

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0700

In their own re-enactment of this Villeneuve thriller, Alexx brings terrible jokes and John can only watch in horror as he realizes his own complicity.

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Batman and Robin

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 03:00:00 -0700

Batman and Robin superfan Ted Douglas joins John and Alexx to discuss Joel Schumacher's 1997 masterpiece Batman and Robin. Listen in rapt attention as Bane gets an Oscar; Ice gets punned; Macgregor Syndrome is cured; Uma gets Thurman'd! What else do you want?!

Ted's Play can be found at: sirentheater.com

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Nosferatu (2024

Sun, 16 Mar 2025 21:00:00 -0700

Robert Eggers' take on the classic tale offers more empowered female characters, but is his knowledge of Dracula Law up to snuff? Alexx sinks his teeth into the real issues at the heart of the movie

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The Crow (2024)

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 00:00:00 -0800

I painted my face for THIS?

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Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 02:00:00 -0800

A movie so nice they named it twice?! In this economy?!

John and Alexx really love Michael Keaton and Catherine O'Hara so they sat through Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Enjoy!

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Mr. Brooks

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 01:00:00 -0800

The hunger has returned to Alexx's brain. It never really left. That hunger for an insane 2007 thriller where Kevin Costner is the serial killing head of a box factory. Cameron Harrison from Open Pike Night and Green Shirt joins the fellas as their dark passenger as they journey into the mind of a maniac. A maniac with a box factory.

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The Green Knight

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 03:00:00 -0800

A Green Knight? In this economy? Yeah, I'd like to see that.

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Joker: Folie à Deux

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Is this a terrible movie, or did we fall for the ultimate Joker's trick?

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My Old Ass

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 02:00:00 -0800

John and Alexx bravely ask the question: Would Alexx blow his younger self? The answer may surprise you! Also they discussed "My Old Ass"

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Alien: Romulus

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 00:00:00 -0800

Have you ever wanted to watch all the Alien movies at the same time?
...No?
...That's a terrible idea?

Someone should have told Fede Alvarez.

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Red State

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 00:00:00 -0800

The fellas cut through the politics and religion in this 2011 dark satire to get to the real questions like "How does sex work?"

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Trap

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 00:00:00 -0800

M. Night Shyamalan loves his daughter so much he built a movie around her, but not enough to make it a good one.

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Oddity

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 03:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx brave the hinterlands of Ireland to answer the eternal question: Can a blind Tilda Swinton-looking lady summon a golem powerful enough to destroy a general practitioner?
Only a frank discussion of the horror hit "Oddity" will tell.

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I Saw The TV Glow

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 12:00:00 -0700

The fellas talk through nostalgia pains, identity and more when discussing Jane Schoenbrun's latest horror entry.

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Rebel Ridge

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 00:00:00 -0700

The world of civil asset forfeiture comes alive as Aaron Pierre goes head-to-head with Don Johnson. Will justice prevail or is this rebel a ridge too far?

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The Boy and the Heron

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 03:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx reenter the magical world of Hayao Miyazaki with "The Boy and the Heron." They then quickly ruin it with crude jokes. Enjoy!

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Zodiac

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 12:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx break the complex cipher that is David Fincher's Zodiac. Well, mostly they just gush over the film while alexx gets jealous over how easy it was to get away with murder in the 60s and 70s.

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Rebel Moon Part 1: Chalice of Blood

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 00:00:00 -0700

What if you played all your favorite sci-fi movies at once and at half-speed? It would be more interesting than Zak Snyder's unceasing director's cut of Rebel Moon.

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Arcadian

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 03:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx discuss Arcadian. Tune in for the movie, stay for the naked mole-rat talk.

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Anomalisa

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 00:00:00 -0700

Some people laugh at Michael Stone because he's different. He gets viciously depressed and pushes away others because they're all the same. Not as punchy as the popular Hot Topic shirt, but a better movie than that one about being an Federal Bikini Inspector.

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Bonus: Madam Web

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 00:00:00 -0700

It's a skip episode! Please enjoy our Patreon discussion of "Madam Web."

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Asteroid City

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 13:00:00 -0700

Much like Francis Ford Coppola and William Friedkin took their crews deep into the jungles to explore the very soul of humanity, Wes Anderson takes the cast and crew of Asteroid City on a voyage up his own ass.

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Pain and Gain

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 04:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx get swole as hell to discuss Pain and Gain. Also: a joke about shrunken testes goes here.

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The Iron Claw

Tue, 28 May 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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Drive Away Dolls

Mon, 13 May 2024 03:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx once again prove their allyship by dunking on Ethan Coen's "Drive Away Dolls."

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Love and Monsters

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 00:00:00 -0700

Marcy Phillips from the podcast Idle Ride joins us to talk about one of her favorite comfort films. Get cozy and hear us talk about growing up, being nice to evil dogs, and water park enemas.

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Oppenheimer

Sun, 14 Apr 2024 23:49:37 -0700

The fellas talk about the recent Best Picture winner

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Poor Things

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 02:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx put in the final word on feminism (Spoiler: It’s great!) while discussing Yorgos Lanthimos’ “Poor Things”

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Dune: Part 2

Sun, 17 Mar 2024 23:08:02 -0700

Erik (from some podcast called Wiz Biz) joins the fellas to talk worm.

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Phantom of the Paradise

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 03:00:00 -0800

Many years ago Alexx made John sign a contract in blood. Today, John and Alexx discuss Phantom of the Paradise. A connection? You decide.

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The Beekeeper

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 09:04:40 -0800

Jason Statham is the Beesatz Haderach.

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Under the Silver Lake

Sun, 04 Feb 2024 23:23:27 -0800

.sterces fo lluf si eno sihT

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Saltburn

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 03:18:00 -0800

Join John and Alexx as they live up to their title while watching Saltburn. They hated it, just to be clear.

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Prisoners

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 00:00:00 -0800

Join John and Alexx as they torture the location of Alexx’s missing Pez dispenser from the winner of their “Meet the boys contest.” Also, they discuss Denis Villeneuve’s “Prisoners” Spoiler: it was under the desk.

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Feeders 2: Slay Bells

Mon, 25 Dec 2023 00:01:00 -0800

Hope no one gave you two guys talking about a zero-budget alien movie because we can’t return this. Happy Holidays!

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Step Up 3D

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 11:32:29 -0800

The fellas are joined by Rob Campbell from the podcast Green Shirt to discuss what might be the greatest movie of all time.

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Melancholia

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 00:01:00 -0800

Listen as John bravely tolerates Alexx’s depression talk in the episode about Lars von Trier’s Melancholia.

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How to Blow Up a Pipeline

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 01:00:00 -0800

What will you do while the world burns? Sure you could stand up to the systems that oppress us, but real heroes will watch a movie where that happens and then podcast about it.

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The Thing

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 05:00:00 -0700

John and a shape-changing alien mimicking alexx discuss John Carpenter’s The Thing. Spoiler: John is also a Thing; and the microphones; and the RSS feed.

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No One Will Save You

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 01:00:00 -0700

Don’t let the title spoil the movie for you, let us do it.

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Skinamarink

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 01:00:00 -0700

Alexx ain’t afraid of no ghosts while John cries at the sight of Fischer Price phone.

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Hard Ticket to Hawaii

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 10:21:57 -0700

Special guest Roejen joins the fellas to talk about this Andy Sidaris 80s classic of big hair, big explosions and big…fun!

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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol: 3

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 05:00:00 -0700

Shoehorned needle drop: John and Alexx discuss…. Yet another needle drop: Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3. I dunno, a David Bowie song maybe?

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OLD

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 23:05:33 -0700

Life’s a beach and then you…grow old?!?! Take an oceanside trip with M Night Shyamalan, as he explores the mysteries of aging and the dangers of Boneitis.

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Summer break!

Sun, 13 Aug 2023 21:12:44 -0700

Slap on your sunscreen because, baby, we’re going on summer break! Or, you know, we’re skipping an episode. Please Enjoy this Patreon Bonus episode for “You, Me, Madness”

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Max Max: Fury Road

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 03:00:00 -0700

Loose yourself from the shackles of your water addiction and rejoice, for John and Alexx have decided to take to the desolate wastelands of podcasting and discuss Max Max: Fury Road.

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M3GAN

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 08:09:39 -0700

John and Alexx bust out their favorite TikTok dances to discuss M3GAN. Also: John power washes Alexx’s face with Roundup.

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The Northman

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 01:00:00 -0700

Pretty much a movie about John and Alexx. Instead of doing battle nude on a volcano. They are mind warriors, fighting their brain battles nude on podcast. They also announce an exciting, super butch new show branding.

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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode, John and Alexx travel back in time to their parents’ basement to watch Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves: D20s are rolled; pizza and mountain dew is enjoyed; magic is cast; but sadly sex is not had until after grad school for engineering.

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Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 12:26:17 -0700

Though the title sounds like a FB post from your most unemployed uncle about no longer being able to use the microwave at 7-11, it’s actually a muddy film from George Clooney.

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Unmasking the Idol

Mon, 22 May 2023 10:45:39 -0700

Duncan Jax returns for the very first time! We first learned of his exploits way back in episode 7 , but now it’s time to see the film that launched it all. We’re talking balloons, ninjas, baboons, gold, other kinds of balloons. Baby this picture’s got ’em all!

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One Cut of The Dead

Mon, 08 May 2023 01:01:00 -0700

The fellas chop it up about a single-take zombie film that becomes so much more. Alexx has OPINIONS™ about Stephen King’s IT.

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Nope

Mon, 24 Apr 2023 06:00:00 -0700

Flying purple people eaters? A wooden lead? Inflatable wacky men? This movie has everything!Join John and Alexx as they discuss Jordan Peele’s “Nope”

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The Batman

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 01:01:00 -0700

Riddle me this! What has four legs, 150 episodes and an increasing awareness of their own mortality? Here’s a hint: They’re talking about The Batman this episode.

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The Master

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 01:01:00 -0700

Master of Joaquin, I’m pulling your PhoenixTwisting your mind and smashing your weenis (metaphorically)Blinded by booze, you can’t see a thingJust call my name ’cause I’ll hear you screamMaster, master Ok I didn’t see the movie but we can all agree Metallica was good for a bit.

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Everything Everywhere All At Once

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 12:47:42 -0700

Multiverse madness abounds! John hops into an alternate universe where he is occasionally wrong! Alexx gains the skills of another Alexx who isn’t constantly talking about cloacas! At some point this movie is discussed.

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The Menu

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 09:08:00 -0800

This same thing happened to me at Olive Garden once, but I didn’t make a dang movie crying about it.

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Vanilla Sky

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 17:07:52 -0800

Our dream series wraps up with this Cameron Crowe attempt at scifi. A movie that dares ask tough questions like “what if Tom Cruise was slightly less handsome?”

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Paprika

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 12:14:42 -0800

The fellas dive back into the dreamscape with this surreal animation. Alexx goes so deep into dream logic it affects his understanding of words and John has to turn into a giant baby to restore reality. Well, less of a turn than a slight shift.

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Inception

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 19:42:55 -0800

John and Alexx do a third level podcast about Inception. The kick? Their love.

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Glass Onion

Mon, 02 Jan 2023 13:46:14 -0800

Start your new year off right by not watching this movie (or listen to Alexx and check it out). The boys peel off the layers of mystery in Glass Onion each finding very different things.

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The Nice Guys

Mon, 19 Dec 2022 00:01:00 -0800

The original bad boys of movie review podcasting flip the script and hang out with The Nice Guys. Alexx undoubtedly says something horrible yet brave and John sagely says correct things, but in a tough and cool way.

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PIG

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 00:01:00 -0800

John and Alexx retrace Nicolas Cage’s steps as he travels through Portland in search of his missing pig.

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WILLOW

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 00:01:00 -0800

You know how so many reboots aren’t a good as the originals? How they fail to capture the spark of what made the originals so exciting and fun? Well you won’t have to worry about that with Willow!

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The Manitou

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 10:20:36 -0800

We all know that classic tale: boy meets girl, girl leaves boy, girl returns with a growth on her neck containing a reborn Native American sorcerer. This time though, there’s a twist! Join the fellas and discover the dark truths behind tarot and hospital administration.

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Tucker & Dale vs Evil

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 00:01:00 -0700

Part hillbilly, part redneck, all action. Well some action…accompanied by some antics. The fellas go okie noodlin on this 2010 horror comedy to see if it’s a hoedown of ha-has, or if it belongs in the outhouse.

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The Addams Family

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 02:00:00 -0700

Listen to John and Alexx do what they want to do, say what they want to say, live how they want to live, play how they want to play… also they discuss the 1991 classic The Addams Family

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Thor: Love and Thunder

Mon, 26 Sep 2022 00:01:00 -0700

Listen to John (Love) and Alexx (Thunder) discuss the newest work of one Mr. Taika Waititi (Hail?).

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Episode 135 – AKIRA

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 00:01:00 -0700

Neo- Tokyo is about to E•X•P•L•O•D•E and JAHS is about to P•O•D•C•A•S•T about it.

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Episode 134 – Licorice Pizza

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 00:01:00 -0700

Remember the 70s? No, because you weren’t born yet, which is a moral failing on your part. Not to worry though, because neither were John or Alexx. So let’s unravel this mysterious decade together by watching PT Anderson’s Licorice Pizza.

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Wiz Biz Episode 1

Mon, 22 Aug 2022 19:42:49 -0700

Alexx has a new podcast. John was nice enough to let him post episode 1 on here. Wiz Biz with Alexx and Erik is available wherever you find podcasts. wizbizpodcast.com

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Episode 133 – Repo Man

Mon, 15 Aug 2022 22:27:08 -0700

Join us as John and Alexx get irradiated by the rotting corpse of an alien stuffed into the back of a Chevy Malibu. Or, you know, discuss the movie Repo Man

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Episode 132 – Last Night in Soho

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 01:08:12 -0700

Edgar Wright transforms London’s swinging 60s into a swing and a miss. Listen as the boys bury their Mod/Teddy Boy feud to discuss why.

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Episode 131 – The Island of Dr Moreau

Mon, 18 Jul 2022 00:01:00 -0700

The fellas grunt and squeak and squawk about the extremely cursed 1996 film and the documentary about its creation.”Lost Soul”

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Episode 130 – Top Gun

Mon, 04 Jul 2022 00:01:00 -0700

Join podcast aces John (callsign: REAPER) and Alexx (callsign: SIDE SALAD) as they take the highway to…to uh…oh man, I just had this….it’s like a place or something. Let’s say a zone. And that zone…*lowers sunglasses* ain’t safe. Anyway, tune into find out about playing with the boys, bending the rules and why Alexx hates …

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Episode 129 – In The Mouth of Madness

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 00:01:00 -0700

What if everything you knew was wrong and everything is actually a nightmare? I mean it is, but what if it was the kind with tentacled monsters and Sam Neill? NEXT EPISODE: TOP GUN (1986)

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Episode 128 – Jojo Rabbit

Mon, 06 Jun 2022 10:15:18 -0700

Willkommen to episode 128, wherein John and Alexx discuss the WW2 comedy Jojo Rabbit. In a shocking turn of events, both John and Alexx side with the allies… talk about journalistic bias, right? Sheesh.

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Bonus episode – Poltergeist 2 with James Strayer

Thu, 02 Jun 2022 00:01:00 -0700

James Strayer joins the show to to brag about how he cucked Alexx by starting a new podcast with John. Also: We talk about Poltergeist 2. Links:

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Episode 127 – Blade Runner: The Final Cut

Mon, 23 May 2022 00:01:00 -0700

What better way to wrap up loving Dick than with Cameron Harrison from the TNG podcast Green Shirts (twitter: @greenshirt87). The fellas explore some of the film’s rich themes, including “robots, huh?” and try to figure out why Cameron doesn’t like it.

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Episode 126 – Total Recall

Mon, 09 May 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Tonight John and Alexx continue to love Dick* by discussing the Schwarzenegger classic “Total Recall.” Or do you only remember it that way? *Phillip K. Dick

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Episode 125 – Minority Report

Mon, 25 Apr 2022 00:01:00 -0700

Can you imagine a world where the mere thought of crime is illegal? You can? That’s illegal and you are now under arrest. This is not exactly the plot of Minority report, but can you imagine if it was? Again, that’s illegal and you are being arrested. This is the first episode in the “I …

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Episode 124 – The French Dispatch

Mon, 11 Apr 2022 13:37:40 -0700

Wes Anderson? You ask me, this needs LESS Anderson. Now I’m gonna make a 2 hour movie about how hard it is for someone to write that joke.

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Episode 123 – Rogue One

Mon, 28 Mar 2022 02:00:00 -0700

Podcasts are built on hope? Bor Gullet? I dunno. Go listen to John and Alexx talk about Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Next Episode: The French Dispatch

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Episode 122 – Prisoners of the Ghostland

Mon, 14 Mar 2022 00:01:00 -0700

Sion Sono couldn’t be bothered to make an interesting or coherent movie. So why should my write up of the episode be any different? Purple monkey dishwasher. Next Episode: Star Wars: Rogue One

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Episode 121 – The Last Duel

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 02:00:00 -0800

In this Rashômon-isode John and Alexx fight to the death over a matter of honor: who drank the last White Claw. After the slap fight they discuss Ridley Scott’s “The Last Duel”. Next Episode: Prisoners of the Ghostland.

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Episode 120 – Kingsman: The Secret Service

Mon, 14 Feb 2022 00:01:00 -0800

Fun romp or hateful sludge? The fellas wage a cold war over this James Bond throwback from 2014. Special Guest appearances by John’s partner Hazel as well as their cat Stursh. One provides helpful trivia, the other is hungry. Listen to find out which is which! Next Episode: The Last Duel (2021)

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Episode 119 – My Neighbor Totoro

Mon, 31 Jan 2022 00:01:00 -0800

A joyful movie for the whole family! John admonishes dire theories about Totoro. The fellas then record a super dark episode discussing it.

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Episode 118 – Ponyo

Mon, 17 Jan 2022 00:00:41 -0800

Body horror, occult magicks based on cured pork and the world saving power of arranged marriages – ya know, all the normal stuff you expect from a kids movie. Miyazaki month rolls on with Ponyo!

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Episode 117 – Porco Rosso

Mon, 03 Jan 2022 01:00:00 -0800

John and Alexx start their investigation into the works of Hayao Miyazaki with Porco Rosso. So far the investigation has turned up nothing but delight… and some light embezzlement. But mostly delight! Next episode: Ponyo

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Episode 116 – Beowulf

Mon, 20 Dec 2021 00:01:43 -0800

A mixup at the nerd factory caused this epic poem to be way too horny! Can lifeless CG bring it down to minimum safe levels? Find out in this episode!

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Episode 115 – TENET

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 00:01:00 -0800

Nice entropy you got there. It’d be a shame if someone…reversed it. Maybe you listen to John and Alexx try to make sense of Christopher Nolan’s fussy little puzzlebox and that don’t happen. Next episode: Beowulf (2007)

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Episode 114 – Constantine

Mon, 22 Nov 2021 00:40:00 -0800

In this zippo-trick of an episode, John and Alexx risk their very souls by watching 2005’s Constantine. Turns out that Alexx never had one and John sold his in 1996 for half a tuna melt. Win? Next Episode: Tenet

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Bonus Episode: Dune (2021)

Fri, 19 Nov 2021 17:44:53 -0800

After thousands of years of a secretive podcast breeding program, and a massive dose of space drugs, John and Alexx become the Kwis’cast Pod’erach, bringing jihad to all other podcasts. Erik Arneson (arnemancy.com) joins in to keep Alexx from making more horrible Kwisatz Haderach puns.Find our review of David Lynch’s Dune on patreon.com/alexxbollen

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Episode 113 – Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Mon, 08 Nov 2021 02:08:00 -0800

In this two martini lunch of an episode, John and Alexx travel back to the swinging 60s to discuss Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. After the swinging, they look at each other awkwardly and leave… much like every other recording. Next Episode: Constantine

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Episode 112 – The Empty Man

Mon, 25 Oct 2021 00:01:00 -0700

The Empty Man cannot be viewed. Even if it could be viewed , nothing could be known about it. Even if something can be known about it, it cannot be podcasted about. The boys did it anyway.

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Episode 111 – Jennifer’s Body

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 00:01:00 -0700

Horror month marches onward with this tale of cruel patriarchy, toxic friendship and even more toxic dialogue. Next: The Empty Man (2020)

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Episode 110 – Malignant

Mon, 27 Sep 2021 11:41:24 -0700

James Wan does it again and we wish he would stop. NEXT: Jennifer’s Body (2009)

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Episode 109 – Land of the Lost

Mon, 20 Sep 2021 00:01:00 -0700

Super excited to welcome Rob Campbell from Green Shirt Podcast! Way less excited about the movie we discussed!

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Episode 108 – Psycho Goreman

Mon, 13 Sep 2021 11:14:53 -0700

The name says it all. Thanks to Patrick Zeroone for the suggestion! Next episode: Land of the Lost

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Episode 107 – Ad Astra

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 00:01:00 -0700

In the tradition of 2001, Solaris and Space Truckers, comes this thoughtful glimpse into the soul of one man who…CHIMP FIGHT! IT’S GOT A CHIMP FIGHT! IN SPACE!!!!! Next episode: Psycho Goreman

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Episode 106 – Ladyhawke

Mon, 16 Aug 2021 02:00:00 -0700

What do you get when you combine Roy Batty, Catwoman, and Ferris Bueller? Buddy, what you got right there is a Nighthawke. But, hey, at least the soundtrack is good. *some audio issues on this one. The issue should be resolved for next episode. Apologies. Next Episode: Ad Astra

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Bonus – The Suicide Squad

Mon, 09 Aug 2021 10:33:05 -0700

We made a dark promise to one another after the first one that we’d watch the next one. Guess we’re just twisted, like the allegedly beautiful mind of James Gunn. Was it as crappy, or just stinky? These are the questions you are dying to know.

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Episode 105 – Flash Gordon

Mon, 02 Aug 2021 00:01:00 -0700

A fun, goofy pulp comic becomes a goofier action romp. Alexx gets hornier than usual for Brian Blessed and Max Von Sydow. We get listener feedback…or do we??? Next Episode: Ladyhawke

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Episode 104 – Krull

Sun, 18 Jul 2021 23:36:11 -0700

Have you ever been listening to all of Hawkwind’s albums at once while a bookcase of Terry Brooks novels falls on your skull? Congrats! You’ve got what it takes to write this 1983 fantasy film! Next Episode: Flash Gordon

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Episode 103 – Nightcrawler

Mon, 05 Jul 2021 14:50:49 -0700

Gritty, uncompromising and daring are no longer just words to describe Arby’s Big Beef ‘n Cheddar thanks to this 2014 thriller. Next episode: Krull

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Episode 102 – Split

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 03:00:00 -0700

In this episode John and Alexx take the light to discuss M. Night Shyamalan’s “Split.” Though Alexx probably talks about M. Night Shyamalan’s “Glass” more often… is he an alt? The listening audience may never know. Next episode: Nightcrawler

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Episode 101 – A Knight’s Tale

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 00:01:00 -0700

Most charming anachronistic comedy/romances are much too afraid to have 45 minutes of jousting. This is not most charming anachronistic comedy/romances. Next Episode: Split (2016)

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Episode 100 – The Dark Knight Rises

Mon, 24 May 2021 06:06:00 -0700

Get your Bane voices ready, for tonight John and Alexx discuss The Dark Knight Rises. Next Episode: A Knight’s Tale

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Episode 99 – Arrival

Mon, 10 May 2021 00:01:00 -0700

When talking about “first contact” movies a select few come to mind. First, Contact, followed closely by First Contact. Does Arrival have what it takes to be part of that elite group, or is it terrible like The Arrival? Next episode: The Dark Knight Rises (2012) The Denver Library chats with Walter Chaw mentioned in …

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Episode 98 – Sonic the Hedgehog

Mon, 26 Apr 2021 00:01:00 -0700

John and Alexx spend an hour trying to not disclose just how much they know about Sonic porn. Instead they discuss 2021’s Sonic the Hedgehog. Next episode: Arrival (2016)

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Episode 97 – Zardoz

Mon, 12 Apr 2021 06:00:00 -0700

“The John is good! The Alexx is evil! The Alexx shoots seeds and makes new life to poison the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the John shoots death and purifies the earth. . . . Zardoz has spoken.” John and Alexx watched Zardoz. Now everything is different. Next Episode: …

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Bonus episode: Zack Snyder’s Justice League

Mon, 05 Apr 2021 03:00:00 -0700

John and Alexx decided to waste a collective 8 hours of their remaining time on this earth watching Zack Snyder’s Justice League. Now listen to them talk about it!

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Episode 96 – Highlander 2: The Quickening

Mon, 29 Mar 2021 00:01:00 -0700

This movie forces you to feel the ennui of eternal life by being nothing but endless pain, confusion, and Christopher Lambert. Next episode: Zardoz

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Episode 95 – Suburban Sasquatch

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 00:01:00 -0700

The fellas dive into this no-budget creature feature with unexpected results. Alexx puts on his best duct tape and shows off some new vocal skills. Meanwhile, the sight of Bigfoot’s dong sends John into a Proustian reverie about his own filmmaking past. Next episode: Highlander 2: The Quickening

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Episode 94 – Uncut Gems

Mon, 01 Mar 2021 00:01:00 -0800

The Safdie brothers thriller is as multi-faceted as the titular gem itself. John sees Howard Ratner’s struggle as a microcosm of the human existence where we fruitlessly try to gain forward progress while trapped on the hamster wheel of modern existence. Alexx wants more dick jokes. Next episode starts terrible movie month with “Suburban Sasquatch”

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Episode 93 – You’ve Got Mail

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 03:07:00 -0800

“You’ve got males.” Get it? Like the AOL soundclip, and John and Alexx identify as male? It’s a homonym joke… Anyway, in this week’s paean to NYC (it’s like another main character!), Alexx and John discuss You’ve Got Mail. Cyber sex was had, ASCII dicks were created, and Alexx has a mental health breakdown. Enjoy! …

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Episode 92 – The Mummy (1999)

Mon, 01 Feb 2021 02:00:00 -0800

Tonight ? and ? discuss The Mummy. ? mostly talks about Star Wars while ? drools over practical effects. Also: making hieroglyphs work in this box was very hard so forgive the boring write-up. Next episode: “You’ve Got Mail”

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Episode 91 – Knives Out

Mon, 18 Jan 2021 00:09:18 -0800

As the great detective Sherlock Holmes once said “Watson! You totally barfed when that guy lied.” Wise words…. wise words. Anyway, John and Alexx watched Knives out.

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Episode 90 – WW84

Mon, 04 Jan 2021 08:33:14 -0800

No more toxic friends in 2021. This includes Wonder Woman. There’s also a new segment on the show that’s not about a dude’s teeth.

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Episode 89 – Elf

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 00:01:00 -0800

The elves were the least funny part of Lord of the Rings, but somehow like those Minions, they got their own spinoff. Special guest Steph Infection from TMITuesday joins us to discuss this new Xmas classic.

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Episode 88 – Dick Tracy

Sun, 06 Dec 2020 23:50:41 -0800

Revisiting Warren Beatty’s 1990 carnival of grotesques recalls the bold, brassy magic of musical theater by way of Dario Argento. Also Alexx reveals a dark secret about his mysterious past.

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Episode 86 – Children of Men

Mon, 23 Nov 2020 00:04:48 -0800

Children of Men is the prequel to Boss Baby.

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Episode 86 – Noah

Mon, 09 Nov 2020 18:40:53 -0800

Join John and Alexx on the Ark of friendship (and snarky comments) to discuss Darren Aronofsky’s “Noah”. Joke goes here.

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Bonus Episode – Verotika

Sat, 31 Oct 2020 00:01:00 -0700

Happy Halloween! To celebrate we watched a film so scary, it caused Alexx to wet himself on the bus three weeks before he even saw it! Then to calm down, we recorded an episode about Verotika. It’s bad! The kind of bad you don’t want to talk about, but we did.

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Episode 85 – The Invisible Man

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 01:01:28 -0700

Resident optics geniuses John and Alexx discuss 2020’s The Invisible Man. Spoiler alert: He’s probably hiding underneath your bed, or so the prophecy lead us to believe. Apologies for the slightly crappy recording quality, Alexx did a dumb. Still sounds better than your show though, newb.

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Episode 84 – Hellraiser

Mon, 12 Oct 2020 09:39:33 -0700

Explorers in the further regions of experience, demons to some, angels to others, movie reviewers to all- John and Alexx continue Spooky October with Clive Barker’s “Hellraiser.” Enjoy… or find pain… they are the same within the murky climes of podcasting.

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Episode 83 – The Lighthouse

Mon, 28 Sep 2020 00:01:36 -0700

Two men with dark pasts. Stranded by forces beyond their control. Bound by anger, repressed love, and fear…spiral into madness as they talk about The Lighthouse.

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Episode Apocalypse – Fateful Findings (Alexxcast 279)

Mon, 14 Sep 2020 10:55:35 -0700

Portland is awful right now, so John and Alexx skipped this week. So please enjoy an old Alexxcast wherein John is a guest and they discuss Neil Breen’s Fateful Findings. Show resumes in two weeks with “The Lighthouse”.

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Episode 82.3 – The Mandalorian Episodes 6-8

Mon, 31 Aug 2020 00:05:00 -0700

In this wicked pissa’ of an episode, Alexx and John finish off season 1 of Disney’s The Mandalorian. Spoiler alert: Baby Yoda does vapid cute stuff whilst Carl Weathers melts our collective heart.

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Episode 82.2 – The Mandalorian Episodes 3-5

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 00:01:00 -0700

Everyone’s favorite main character of The Mandalorian is back for more episodes of The Mandalorian! Join the fellas as they figure out if any of them are worth a damn and stick around to unravel the mysteries of Baby Yoda’s feet and learn how to steam a dude. As a bonus, there’s also the most …

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Episode 82.1 – The Mandalorian Episodes 1-2

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 05:30:52 -0700

Alexx and John discuss The Mandalorian episodes 1-2. Spoiler alert: helmets are worn, Werners are Herzoged. Helpful Links:BLACK COMMUNITY GROUPS: Don’t Shoot PDX: https://www.dontshootpdx.org/tag/donate/ Black Resilience Fund: https://secure.givelively.org/donate/brown-hope/black-resilience-fund BLM PDX: https://www.facebook.com/blacklivesmatterpdx LEGAL STUFF: Bail Fund (PDX Defense Fund): Venmo/CashApp: @DefenseFundPDX National Lawyers Guild: https://www.nlg.org/donate/ ACLU OR: https://aclu-or.org/en/donate FRONTLINE SUPPORT: The Witches: https://twitter.com/Bitchwitch20 OHSU Student Volunteers: https://twitter.com/OHSU4BLM PDX Action Medics: https://twitter.com/PDXActionMedics Snack Bloc: https://twitter.com/Snackbloc Snack Van:https://twitter.com/SnackVanTM INDIE …

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Episode 81 – The Rise of Skywalker

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 00:04:38 -0700

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away a quaint series of movies captured the world’s imagination. Star Wars, a dashing, fun, swashbuckling adventure, full of romance, intrigue and timeless themes. Decades years later the idiot behind LOST edited a bunch of scenes together in a frenetic blur designed to distract the audience …

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Episode 80 – Joker

Mon, 06 Jul 2020 00:01:00 -0700

The boys get twisted while checking out the latest version of that warped clown everyone knows and loves: Joaquin Phoenix.

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Episode 79 – Alita Battle Angel

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 00:01:00 -0700

A futuristic, cyberpunk Pinocchio that adds some new twists (female lead, slightly more gruesome violence) while keeping the classic bits we all know and love (doing yoga poses for your dad).

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Episode 78 – Wonder Woman

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 00:01:00 -0700

Who better to discuss the feminism of this summer blockbuster than your favorite pair of sweaty, middle-aged white dudes! No, not those twins on the scooters, I’m talking about John and Alexx.

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Episode 77 – Alice in Wonderland

Mon, 25 May 2020 00:13:21 -0700

’Twas brillig, and the podcast hosts Did quarantine in the bade:All wobbly were the microphone posts, And bad puns were made. Beware the John-erwock, my son! The JAHS that bite, the claws that catch!Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Alexxcast!Funny poetic lines, etc! To finish off our exploration of Tim Burton we watched “Alice in …

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Episode 76 -Big Fish

Mon, 11 May 2020 00:01:00 -0700

You know how in a lot of movies fish are too small? Well buddy…you are in for a treat.

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Episode 75 – Mars Attacks!

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 00:31:00 -0700

In this ack-isode, John and Alexx continue their exploration of Tim Burton by discussing Mars Attacks! Spoiler: Alexx is a green skeleton, whilst John is red.

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Episode 74 – Beetlejuice

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 00:01:36 -0700

Our look at the films of Tim Burton starts now with the 1988 comedy/horror classic Beetlejuice. Alexx asks some hard-hitting questions about 80s teeth, Winona Ryder and spelling; while John gets tossed into the worm-ridden wastes of Saturn.

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Episode 73 – 12 Monkeys

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 00:01:00 -0700

Enjoy your quarantine from a deadly disease by listening to the now-bunkered boys talk about a fictional deadly disease. This 1995 film has it all, bootstrap paradoxes, Bruce Willis’ butt cheeks and, I dunno, Brad Pitt. Also Alexx handles the lockdown by unleashing an insane conspiracy theory…or is it just crazy enough to work.

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Episode 72 – Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 00:01:00 -0700

Special guest comedian/actor/writer Ted Douglass tries to convince us that this movie isn’t terrible. We mostly agree, but man everyone in this movie sucks. Except Knives and that one guy with the face, he’s cool. Alexx’s comic is on sale now at Gumroad: https://gumroad.com/l/sYgoE or Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/listing/772153218/wyrms-addition-issue-1 Ted’s FB page: https://www.facebook.com/TedDouglassInc/

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Episode 71 – Altered States

Mon, 02 Mar 2020 00:01:00 -0800

Hallucinations, living with dolphins and dick bones. Also this Ken Russell film is discussed at some point.

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Episode 70 – Super

Mon, 17 Feb 2020 01:13:42 -0800

Episode 70, in which our heroes watch “Super” then beat each other to death with crescent wrenches. Spoiler alert! Alexx’s skull breaks first.

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Episode 69 – Alien Covenant

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 00:00:22 -0800

What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Trying to make the perfect being out of black goo and leg bones of other people like one of us?

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Episode 68 – Ready Player One

Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:01:45 -0800

Don’t hate the player one, hate the one player game? I dunno- I tried

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Episode Sick Day – The Perfect Weapon

Mon, 06 Jan 2020 00:00:14 -0800

John was too sick to handle watching Ready Player One. So here’s an old Alexxcast episode where John and Alexx discuss Steven Seagal’s “The Perfect Weapon.” Regular JAHS returns next episode with Ready Player One.

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Episode 67 – Doctor Mordrid

Mon, 23 Dec 2019 05:36:56 -0800

This doctor is a little…strange, but teaches us to laugh about love and inter-dimensional wizardy.

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Episode 66 – Spawn

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 00:20:55 -0800

Man, this movie must have completed principle photography in South Africa, because talk about Cape-town! Yeah, I’m sorry too. Anyway, we watched Spawn.

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Episode 65 – Watchmen

Mon, 25 Nov 2019 00:00:46 -0800

The role of superheroes as reactionary tools in a geopolitical hellscape is replaced by slow motion jumping. in the movie version of Watchmen. Alexx gets mad at computer passwords and John has read one book he won’t shut up about.

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Episode 64 – Her

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 02:06:12 -0800

Hi. I’m an OS writing this episode description. Are you in love with me yet? No? Well, what about after I write you this piano piece? Good, now that you’re in love please enjoy John and Alexx’s discussion of Her. ….Also I’m in space now… with Poochie.

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Bonus Episode – The Crow

Wed, 30 Oct 2019 00:01:54 -0700

This Devil’s night John and Alexx offer up a bonus episode discussing The Crow. Spoilers: they fire It up.

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Episode 63 – Hereditary

Mon, 28 Oct 2019 00:01:23 -0700

Tonight John and Alexx finish the ritual started 62 episodes ago, bringing forth into this dimension a discussion of Hereditary. It was a needlessly complex ritual.

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Episode 62 – The VVitch

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 00:05:02 -0700

Rev up your baby mills and strap on your brooms for tonight John and Alexx tackle The VVitch.

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Episode 61 – The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift / Fast Five

Mon, 30 Sep 2019 12:03:36 -0700

Tonight we break the format of the show and discuss TWO movies! After finding out that The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift was such shit, we watched Fast Five. Amazingly, neither of us make a “Fast Five” hand-job joke.

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Episode 60 – Ghost in the Shell (2017)

Mon, 16 Sep 2019 00:04:25 -0700

Place your brains into sexy Caucasian robot bodies and listen to John and Alexx discuss 2017’s Ghost in the Shell.

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Episode 59 – Jurassic World

Mon, 02 Sep 2019 23:10:15 -0700

Continue to hold on to your butts as John and Alexx discuss Jurassic World. Then John gets eaten by an alligator/human hybrid Alexx had lying around the studio.

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Episode 58 – No Holds Barred

Mon, 19 Aug 2019 00:10:40 -0700

We watched No Holds Barred. This movie smells of something…. please watch to find out the answer.

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Episode 57 – Prometheus

Mon, 05 Aug 2019 00:03:02 -0700

Episode 57, wherein it is realized no one ever reads these write ups and previous efforts were wasted. We watched Prometheus. And yes, I meant Giorgio Tsoukalos.

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Episode 56 – Blade Runner 2049

Mon, 22 Jul 2019 10:01:07 -0700

Episode 56, wherein John and Alexx discuss Blade Runner 2049. Voight Kampff test required for entry. Order Alexx’s new book “The Theravada Machine and Other Stories”

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Episode 55 – The Dark Crystal

Mon, 08 Jul 2019 01:06:52 -0700

Look like podcast… Smell like podcast… Must be episode 55, wherein John and Alexx discuss The Dark Crystal. Additional audio available on Alexx’s Patreon patreon.com/alexxbollenOrder Alexx’s new book “The Theravada Machine and Other Stories” John does other stuff too.

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Episode 54 – Birdman

Mon, 24 Jun 2019 03:00:30 -0700

Episode 54, wherein John and Alexx answer the age old question: What is the unexpected virtue of ignorance? The answer: Birdman. Because inverting a statement makes it profound. Truth, this is.

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Episode 53 – Inglourious Basterds

Mon, 10 Jun 2019 03:00:33 -0700

Episode 53, wherein John and Alexx manage to exist in a basement for over an hour without killing anyone. Though after the recording they burned the studio down to kill a mouse that Alexx believed to be the reincarnation of Hitler. Also they discuss Inglourious Basterds. Please sign up for Stitcher Premium with our Promo …

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Episode 52 – La La Land

Mon, 27 May 2019 00:18:02 -0700

Episode 52, wherein John and Alexx fall in love whilst singing and dancing in the Griffith park that is the JAHS studio. AKA: The one where they discuss La La Land. Please sign up for Stitcher Premium with our Promo Code “Stuff” to get a free month! stitcherpremium.com Alexx’s Patreon: patreon.com/alexxbollen

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Episode 51 – Hudson Hawk

Mon, 13 May 2019 00:02:04 -0700

Would you like to swing on a star? Carry moonbeams home in a jar? No? Good. Then sit quietly and listen to John and Alexx discuss Hudson Hawk.

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Episode 50 – The Dark Knight

Mon, 29 Apr 2019 01:40:53 -0700

Episode 50, wherein our caped crusaders point out all the non-Ledger things wrong with The Dark Knight. Also, we answer the burning question: just, on a fundamental level, why, exactly, so serious… Enjoy! Alexx’s Patreon: patreon.com/alexxbollen

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Episode 49 – Aquaman

Mon, 15 Apr 2019 00:00:55 -0700

In this Ocean Master of an episode, John and Alexx dredge the depths of Aquaman.

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Episode 48 – A Dark Song

Sun, 31 Mar 2019 19:08:44 -0700

In this demoniac episode, John and Alexx plumb the depths of occult ritual to discuss A Dark Song. Alexx’s Patreon: patreon.com/alexxbollen

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Episode 47 – Annihilation

Mon, 18 Mar 2019 00:32:50 -0700

Episode 47, wherein John and Alexx turn into one another. And this time that’s not a metaphor for intercourse! Also we talked about Alex Garland’s Annihilation. Links:Alexx’s Patreon: patreon.com/alexxbollenSteph’s Podcast: https://tmituesdaypodcast.wordpress.com

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Episode 46 – The Departed

Mon, 04 Mar 2019 00:01:38 -0800

Welcome to this cheese eating episode of JAHS, wherein we discuss The Departed. Things are Bahston yahd, wicked pissah’ etc.

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Episode 45 – Venom

Sun, 17 Feb 2019 23:47:38 -0800

In this episode, John and Alexx enter into a symbiotic relationship with a garbage fire named Venom.

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Episode 44 – Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Sun, 03 Feb 2019 23:31:27 -0800

Please, accept this supplicating gesture and join us in a discussion of Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

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Episode 43 – Jupiter Ascending

Sun, 20 Jan 2019 19:08:21 -0800

Strap on your rocket-skates and join us as we slog through the mire that is Jupiter Ascending. Caine… Wise.

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Episode 42 – Eyes Wide Shut

Sun, 06 Jan 2019 19:24:54 -0800

On this discordant piano laden episode, John and Alexx tackle Stanley Kubrick’s final film “Eyes Wide Shut.” Thankfully the episode does not end in an orgy.

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Episode 41 – Batman Returns

Sun, 23 Dec 2018 20:00:35 -0800

Episode 41, in which John and Alexx discuss Batman Returns. I don’t know about you, Miss Listener, but afterwards we felt so much…. yummier.

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Episode 40 – Interstellar

Sun, 09 Dec 2018 20:00:03 -0800

John and Alexx decided to watch Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar, but who really made them decide? John and Alexx from the past/future… kind of like Kate Pryde, but less genetically abnormal, and with more bookshelves. Enjoy!

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Episode 39 – Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Sun, 25 Nov 2018 19:00:54 -0800

Accio hilarious movie commentary! Get it? Like one of the spells used in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Which, coincidentally, is the movie we comment upon during this episode. Enjoy!

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Episode 38 – Spider-Man: Homecoming

Sun, 11 Nov 2018 20:00:01 -0800

Well kids, put on your dancing shoes and ill-fitting suit jackets for tonight we go to homecoming… Spider-Man: Homecoming that is. Look, these things are hard to write. You try it sometime, smart guy. Sheesh, the nerve of you. Anyway, enjoy!

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Episode 37 – The Conjuring

Sun, 28 Oct 2018 21:00:28 -0700

Tonight *Insert Jump Scare* we braved the *Insert Jump Scare* haunted halls of *Insert Jump Scare* “The Conjuring” *Insert Creepy Doll*

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Episode 36 – Mandy

Sun, 14 Oct 2018 20:01:53 -0700

Mandy. It’s a movie. We watched it. The world is better now.

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Episode 35 – Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Sun, 30 Sep 2018 20:00:28 -0700

Thirty days ’til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. Thirty days ’til Halloween… John and Alexx Hate Stuff. Tonight we pierce the veil between the realms to discuss Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Please pretend that John and I are wearing really shitty masks while talking…. it will make things just that much better.

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Episode 34 – Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

Sun, 16 Sep 2018 21:00:54 -0700

John and Alexx Hate Stuff: Episode 34: Port of Call: Dank Basement Studio. This is a special movie: a movie of drug use, of mystical lizards, of subdued Kilmer, and most importantly: a movie of questions: Such as: What happened to the fish? Where is the kibble? Is this movie a sequel? Is it a …

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Episode 33 – Airborne

Mon, 03 Sep 2018 18:27:25 -0700

Brah. We totally watched Airborne…. It certainly came out in the early 1990s. Go listen… and be… gnarly?

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Episode 32 – Justice League

Fri, 17 Aug 2018 21:15:56 -0700

Tonight, we celebrate the return of Martha’s son by watching “Justice League.” Then John and Alexx raced to the west coast- Spoiler alert: We already live on that coast and therefore the race was as stupid of an idea as this movie. Enjoy!

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Episode 31 – Escape to Victory w/ Matt Case

Sat, 04 Aug 2018 12:30:58 -0700

Pele? Check. Stallone? Check. Nazis? Check. What else could you ask for? That’s right, tonight we watched “Escape to Victory” with the help of special football correspondent Matt Case. Enjoy!

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Episode 30 – Sicilian Vampire

Sat, 21 Jul 2018 20:09:35 -0700

In this vampire-adjacent episode, John and Alexx watch Frank D’Angelo’s “Sicilian Vampire” then speak in Italian for no explicable reason.

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Episode 29 – Event Horizon

Fri, 06 Jul 2018 16:38:02 -0700

Hoc eventu alexx et alexx intrare spatium foramen nigrum in nuper 90s horror ‘Vicis Horizon “… Et timere, latine. (In this episode John and Alexx enter the black hole of late 90s space horror “Event Horizon”… Be afraid, in Latin.)

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Episode 28 – Reign of Fire

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 18:43:19 -0700

Episode 28, wherein two glands in the form of podcasters form their verbal excretions together to catch the internet ablaze! And by that I mean John and Alexx discuss “Reign of Fire”

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Episode 27 – Pan’s Labyrinth

Sat, 09 Jun 2018 15:50:51 -0700

Have you ever wanted to hear a Russian impression of Guillermo del Toro? Well, we’ve got you covered! Please, get lost in this in-depth discussion of Pan’s Labyrinth. See what I did there? Get lost…. you know, like in a labyrinth…. I’m sorry.

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Episode 26 – John Wick

Fri, 25 May 2018 17:58:18 -0700

In this action-packed episode, John and Alexx get revenge on puppy killers by discussing “John Wick”. How is that revenge, you ask? Well, obviously you’ve never been stuck in a room with us.

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Episode 25 – The Last Jedi

Sat, 12 May 2018 16:04:22 -0700

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… and by that I mean a few days ago in Alexx’s apartment… we discussed “Star Wars: The Last Jedi.” Then we floated some rocks and killed a bantha… good times.

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Episode 24 – Gone in 60 Seconds

Fri, 27 Apr 2018 21:11:00 -0700

Episode 24, wherein our ragtag group of thieves attempt to steal about an hour of the listeners’ lives with prattle about Gone in 60 Seconds. Enjoy!

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Episode 23 – The Big Lebowski

Thu, 12 Apr 2018 18:37:41 -0700

Episode 23, wherein a bowling team of podcasters discuss “The Big Lebowski.” It’s like.. you know… it’s like… a thing, man… you know? – See what I’ve done there? I’ve insulted both of our intelligences by parroting The Dude’s drivel… enjoy!

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Episode 22 – Mute

Fri, 30 Mar 2018 22:08:06 -0700

…. …. …. .. …… … .. … …. ….. ….. ….. Get it? I’m being mute… like the fellow in the movie, “Mute.” Which is the movie we are talking about in this episode. It’s from Netflix. I believe I’ve gotten the point across. Please Subscribe/Rate/Review on wherever you listen to this!

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Episode 21 – The Invitation

Sat, 17 Mar 2018 15:03:12 -0700

Please accept our invitation to episode 21, “The Invitation”… see what I did there? I used the title of the movie in context. See? It’s funny. Anyway, enjoy! Please Subscribe/Rate/Review on wherever you listen to this!

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Episode 20 – Swiss Army Man w/ Steph

Fri, 02 Mar 2018 22:07:36 -0800

Hey look! We got a guest! It’s Steph! We watched Swiss Army Man. It was terrible. Blame Steph!

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Episode 19 – Boss Baby

Sat, 17 Feb 2018 12:58:09 -0800

Episode 19, wherein two adult babies talk about the very-not Pixar movie “Boss Baby.” It gets pretty dark… enjoy!

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Episode 18 – The Dark Tower

Sun, 04 Feb 2018 00:50:27 -0800

I do not podcast with my hand. He who podcasts with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I podcast with my rudimentary studio and stammering hosts. Tonight, John and Alexx hate The Dark Tower. Please take a moment to subscribe/rate/review on iTunes/Google Play/Stitcher/etc.

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Episode 17 – Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Sat, 20 Jan 2018 12:24:57 -0800

What can we say about Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets? Well, lots it turns out. So, you know, listen to it… it’s sorta why we’re all here. Please take a moment to subscribe/rate/review on iTunes/Google Play/Stitcher/etc.

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Episode 16 – Bright

Fri, 05 Jan 2018 18:41:26 -0800

Turn up your death metal love songs and strap in, for tonight we brave the steaming pile of orc poop that is the Netflix original film Bright. Please take a moment to subscribe/rate/review on iTunes/Google Play/Stitcher/etc.

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Episode 15 – Southland Tales

Sat, 23 Dec 2017 19:43:13 -0800

Episode 15, wherein our Neo-Marxist sympathizers take up the challenge of “Southland Tales.” At the end, both Alexx and John take their own lives thus fulfilling the prophecy of their respective lack of pimp-hands. Next episode we discuss the Netflix original “Bright” https://www.salon.com/2007/12/19/southland_tales_analysis/ Please take a moment to subscribe/rate/review on iTunes/Google Play/Stitcher/etc.

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Episode 14 – The Royal Tenenbaums

Thu, 07 Dec 2017 20:00:39 -0800

Episode 14, wherein our hosts don matching outfits from the 1970s to discuss The Royal Tenenbaums. Please take a moment to subscribe/rate/review on iTunes/Google Play/Stitcher/etc.

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Episode 13 – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Sat, 18 Nov 2017 21:45:39 -0800

John and Alexx v Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice: Dawn of Criticism: Theatrical Cut. Please take a moment to subscribe/rate/review on iTunes/Google Play/Stitcher/etc.

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Episode 12 – Nightbreed

Sun, 29 Oct 2017 20:05:49 -0700

Welcome to Midian, where the monsters live… AKA episode 12 where two podcast hosts discuss Clive Barker’s Nightbreed. Please take a moment to subscribe/rate/review on iTunes/Google Play/Stitcher/etc.

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Episode 11 – Mother!

Fri, 20 Oct 2017 20:40:36 -0700

Welcome to episode 11, or as it is now known, the glowing crystal heart of the podcast’s house. Listen closely as John and Alexx write the book of trying to make sense of Darren Aronofsky’s “Mother!”. When you are done, burn down your mp3 and do it over again. Please take a moment to subscribe/rate/review …

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Episode 10 – Speed Racer

Sat, 07 Oct 2017 09:34:28 -0700

In tonight’s pulse-pounding episode, our heroes white knuckle the steering wheel to discuss 2008’s Speed Racer. Spoiler: At the end of this race, we all win. Please take a moment to subscribe/rate/review on iTunes/Google Play/Stitcher/etc.

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Episode 9 – Equilibrium

Thu, 21 Sep 2017 23:36:10 -0700

Welcome to episode 9, wherein your devoted Grammaton Clerics strike their favorite Gun Kata poses to discuss the 2002 Christian Bale classic “Equilibrium.” Please take a moment to subscribe/rate/review on iTunes/Google Play/Stitcher/etc.

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Episode 8 – Red Sonja

Sat, 09 Sep 2017 13:25:47 -0700

In this episode, our heroes trudge through the ruin-strewn wasteland of the Hyborian Age to provide their takes on the 1985 debacle “Red Sonja.” Please remember to subscribe/rate/review the show on iTunes/Google Play/Stitcher etc.

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Episode 7 – The Order of the Black Eagle

Thu, 24 Aug 2017 22:20:11 -0700

Episode 007, wherein John and Alexx watch a cut-rate James Bond fight the forces of evil with the help of his trusty sidekick baboon. Also there’s a cake-based Hitler.

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Episode 6 – Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Thu, 10 Aug 2017 23:41:30 -0700

On this 5-note message to the heavens, John and Alexx have a close encounter of the episode 6 kind. Get it? No? Well, we watched Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

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Episode 5 – Suicide Squad

Fri, 21 Jul 2017 11:51:53 -0700

Tonight, our stalwart knights talk about the singularly terrible “Suicide Squad.” Spoiler: It’s singularly terrible. Please subscribe/rate/review the show! iTunes/Stitcher/Google Play etc…

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Episode 4 – Sniper: Special Ops

Thu, 06 Jul 2017 20:57:31 -0700

Tonight John and Alexx discuss the Seagal/Van Damme* classic “Sniper: Special Ops” * Not that one

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Episode 3 – The Fifth Element

Thu, 22 Jun 2017 19:19:53 -0700

In this episode John and Alexx discuss The Fifth Element. In a John and Alexx Hate Stuff first, one of us actually likes the movie. Please subscribe/rate/review us wherever fine podcasts are found.

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Episode 2 – Alien: Resurrection

Wed, 07 Jun 2017 21:39:11 -0700

In this episode, our intrepid heroes take on the challenge of Alien: Resurrection.

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John and Alexx Hate Stuff Episode 1 – Batman Begins

Sat, 27 May 2017 15:33:38 -0700

John and Alexx discuss Batman Begins.

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