Let's talk about money! Specifically, let's talk about the emotional side of money, and how that relates to you, and how you can help your kids grow up to be financially-savvy.

Dr Huong Diep, clinical psychologist and financial therapist AND EFM, joins me for a conversation about money, our emotions, how our culture and emotions impact our spending and how we can help our kids (esp FS kids) grow up to be financially well.

Resource links:

Dr Huong Diep's website is https://www.drhdiep.com/

LinkedIn is https://www.linkedin.com/in/drhdiep/

Dr Diep is licensed in CA, NV, NY, SD, DC, VA (pending) and can provide services to any FSO/EFMs posted abroad. Just a reminder that if folks have the Foreign Service Health Benefit (Aetna) that they can get 75-90% of services reimbursed with a Superbill (clients pay out of pocket first, then I give them an itemized receipt to which they submit to insurance). 

More about financial therapy: Financial Therapy Association

and her financial therapy bio

For support on the logistical/numerical side of money: William Carrington or Erin Semelka- two financial planners very familiar with foreign service lifestyle as former/current EFMs. 

To learn more about money scripts

There comes a time when we need to think about money, investments and retirement.  I know, it doesn't sound like a fun conversation to listen to, but trust me, we keep it entertaining.  Hillery teaches us about investments, IRAs, and maximizing your savings.  Oh, and we catch up, too, because of course we had to.  Enjoy listening!

Susie and Angi talk about evacuation, trying to find footing, figuring out the new normal, and dealing with stress.  Sadly, evacuations are part of a consideration of Foreign Service life; right now many posts and 1,000s of families are impacted by the situation in the Middle East.  Let's find some space together, support our friends, and give ourselves some grace as we deal with this.

Join me for a conversation with Dr Fae Frederick, about mental health and our FS kids.  We talk about tips for families, for every day and also for times of transition, roles and responsibilities for parents, preventative care and getting the support you and your family need, especially while overseas.  As always, a great resource, Dr Fae has great supplemental links to share.

Resources mentioned:

Where to find Dr Fae: www.drfae.com

Information about the groups Dr Fae mentioned: www.drfae.com/groups

Resource guide for FS folks and families: https://online-therapy.net/blog-home/mh-guide

PCS and Transitions: https://online-therapy.net/blog-home/goodbyeseason

Some great books to explore about development and communication:

Body-Brain Parenting: https://www.amazon.com/Brain-Body-Parenting-Managing-Behavior-Resilient/dp/0063061317

How to talk so kids will listen: https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1451663889

How to talk so little kids will listen: https://www.amazon.com/dp/150113163X

Ages and stages: https://www.amazon.com/Ages-Stages-Parents-Childhood-Development/dp/0471370878

Life Cycle Completed: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Cycle-Completed-Extended-Version/dp/0393317722 Erik Erickson and all his wisdom

Excited to chat today with Dr Kristen Cook, a pediatrician, talking about kids, adjustment and transitions, and how to parent the child you have.  We move a lot in this lifestyle, and it can start to wear on your kiddos.  Let's support their well being with some key suggestions.

Dr Kristen shared with us some great resources for mental health support:

https://www.therapistaid.com/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb

To learn more about Dr Kristen:

https://www.kristencookmd.com/

And listen to her podcast:

https://www.kristencookmd.com/podcast

Kristen's book:

https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Redefined-Understanding-Nurturing-Behavior

It's been a while, but we finally have another 4 Women Talking conversation.  We start off talking about clothing and expectations for women, talk about beauty ideals and unrealistic viewpoints and land on supporting other women and embracing positive conversations, especially with our kiddos to help them embrace realistic and positive self- and world-views.  

Let's explore more for FS kids and college: this time we are exploring international options.  Is your student a good fit to flourish in university overseas?  Hannah and I discuss options in Canada, UK, and Netherlands, and include considerations for parents and students for exploring these options.

To reach Hannah:

hannah@peakcollegeconsulting.com

 www.peakcollegeconsulting.com

Here we are with episode 3 from our series talking about Foreign Service kids and College.  This time, Hannah and I talk about money.  How to figure costs, what is need, what is merit and other kinds of aid, and how can we make going to university a bit more accessibly, financially-speaking.  It's a very different ballgame than when we parents went to university!  Grab your notebook and get ready to take a deep dive into finances for university.  

Links and resources:

• Net Price Calculators (https://collegecost.ed.gov/net-price)
• Federal Student Aid Estimator (https://studentaid.gov/aid-estimator)
• Loan Simulator (https://studentaid.gov/loan-simulator)
• Big J Education Consultant Resources (https://www.bigjeducationalconsulting.com/resources)
• Dr. Lauren MacKnoon Steed Dual Enrollment from Abroad List
• How to Qualify for In-State College Tuition (https://afsa.org/how-qualify-state-college-tuition)
• Estrela Consulting’s 
• Ultimate List of Hidden College Scholarships (https://blog.estrelaconsulting.com/the-ultimate-list-of-hidden-college-scholarships)
• Big Future Scholarship Search (https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/scholarship-search)
• CSS Profile Participating Schools (https://profile.collegeboard.org/PPI/participatingInstitutions.aspx)

For more information on Dual Enrollment programs, please see the attached pdf at  https://www.healthyexpatparent.com/post/fs-kids-and-college-3-let-s-talk-money 

Recording #2 - FS kids and University

A chat with Hannah Engel-Rebitzer, an independent Educational Consultant with Peak College Consulting, about what it is students should be looking for in university, and how parents can support this piece of the process.  We talk about location, academics, social scene, as well as a little about finances.  We talk about creating a balanced list and what that looks like.  

To reach Hannah:

hannah@peakcollegeconsulting.com

 www.peakcollegeconsulting.com

Resources mentioned:

Tools for creating a College list and researching

• College Navigator
• College Data
• Big Future 
• Atriculation agreements exist in all states. https://www.ecs.org/50-state-comparison-transfer-and-articulation/
• College Scorecard
• CampusReel
• Naviance and other college search tools https://www.lumiere-education.com/post/10-college-counseling-software-you-should-know-about

Finances

• Net Price Calculator 
• SAI Estimate
• Federal Student Aid estimator
• Big J Education Consultant

Another conversation on Kids in university: Ask LIsa Podcast https://youtu.be/dEh8JRM2ltk?si=yBhOgbrstfhOR-Sm

First in a series of podcasts about Foreign Service Kids and Applying to College.  We'll talk about what colleges are looking for, what kids should be looking for, finances, different types of schools, and more.  

We welcome comments and questions!  

#1 - What are colleges looking for in applications, and how parents can support their FS kids through the process?

A chat with Hannah Engel-Rebitzer, an independent Educational Consultant with Peak College Consulting, about the 6 main things that schools are looking for and how triumph with each one.

To reach Hannah:

hannah@peakcollegeconsulting.com

 www.peakcollegeconsulting.com

Join Susie Brown and Sex Education Expert Scotney Young talk sex ed: global sex education standard disparities, age appropriate sex/gender education, helping parents with difficult (and awkward!) discussions with their tweens/teens, empowering teens for gender equality, & what you can do to support child safety.

Scotney Young: https://www.instagram.com/rootsandboundaries?igsh=b2VveThpankyZDgz 

Scotney's website: https://www.rootsandboundaries.com/  

Resources for parents:

• The Sex Education Answer Book: By the Age Responses to Tough Questions Kids Ask Parents About Sex: A definitive guidebook for parents for questions about sex & demystifying sex for parent & child. 
• Kids Ask Script-building resource for parents/adults for conversations with kiddos around self-esteem, healthy relationships and making informed decisions.
• https://amaze.org/parents/- resources for parents & youth(8-14) about sexuality, bodies, and relationships
• Porn: fact or fiction - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdB2rmGqqNU&ab_channel=AMAZEOrg
• Guide to talking about porn: https://amaze.org/parents/guides/porn/
• https://parents.culturereframed.org/course/parents-of-tweens/  - Free self-guided programs on build kids' resilience & resistance to hypersexualized culture and impacts of pornography 
• Sex ed for Christian parents - https://www.sexedreclaimed.com/ 
• Sex ed for Muslim parents - https://resources.muslimkids.tv/sex-education/ 
• Sex ed for Jewish parents -  https://mizrachi.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/HaMizrachi_Yom-Ha_Atzmaut_Israel_2021_58.pdf 
• Great Podcasts: This is so Awkward puberty podcast (and great newsletter)
  • Birds and bees and kids with Amy Lang
• Sex Positive Families: Massive database of sex-positive books and resources for every age. 
• From Susie: https://www.youtube.com/@asklisapodcast all topics tween & teen related, including sex, drugs, hormones and study habits

Resources for educators:

• Rights, Respect, Responsibility: K-12 Sexuality Education Curriculum by Advocates for Youth based on US National Sex Education Standards https://3rs.org/download-3rs/ 
• Amaze: Age-appropriate videos providing medically accurate sex education for adolescents as determined by parents, educators and medical professionals. (annual free “Sex Ed Con” webinar for educators; all the past webinars are linked)
• https://www.joinonelove.org/our-education/  - intimate partner violence prevention organization - free healthy friendships and relationships for all ages lesson plans & trainings 

Finding professional fulfillment overseas can be challenging, but not impossible.  What can you do to make this lifestyle work for you, professionally?  Join Susie Csorsz Brown and Scotney Young as they talk about different ways to find professional fulfillment, keeping sane, and what does networking do for you.  

We talk about challenges and benefits of EFM employment, successful career transitions, portable career networking and more.  Listen here!

There comes a point where our foreign service journey ends, and we find ourselves leaving this space, this label, this persona for ... who knows what to expect?  Finding yourself facing this as your next move?  Listen to Sharoya share her wisdom, and Lisa shares some of her concerns and solutions.  Join us for the chat.

Right now, government employees are hit hard by the government shutdown.  Angi and I talk about what this feels like, wishing for a solution and offering community to anyone feeling especially hard hit.  We can hope that this will end soon, and our budget will be approved.  Until that finally happens, we are here to listen and support.

Sharoya, Angi and I talk about different aspects of kids leaving the house, having fewer family members around, and what happens when they come back home?  Some great suggestions for keeping the peace, making the most out of the new additional space ... and making sure you have beds for everyone when/if they come back home!

We all know that our kids are supposed to grow up, go to uni, and then go off on their own. This is our primary goal as parents: help foster independence, innate curiosity, caring and capable humans to go contribute to something. Sometimes, real life rears its head and they come home unexpectedly. You may think you're going to be an empty nester but at any given point, family may walk in the door. 

Make the most out of the small and big spaces you have and the people filling them.

Why drive when you can tuk or metro easily?  Or use the family driver?  FS kids often arrive to university not having a driver's license.  What to do?  

Shipping our kiddos off to university feels like a bit of a leap of faith, but it is what is supposed to happen, and it will all be fine.  There are some stark differences between foreign service kids and those who graduated from stateside high schools amongst uni attendees.  It isn't that one kind of high school experience prepares kids for university better or worse, but there are definite differences.  Being prepared for these -- and preparing your kid for these -- will help manage expectations! These are just the differences I observed; I am sure there are many more.  I'd love to hear some of your stories, too!  

Next episode, I'll talk about one of the biggest differences: driver's license! 

Fitness, nutrition and health are all concepts we sometimes understand, sometimes embrace and sometimes are confounded by. Join me for a conversation with 3 foreign service women who are "fit" and also looking for answers.

Long talk with 4 FS women about fitness, nutrition, stress relief, menopause, FS life and times zones.  

Participants: Hillery Midkiff, Lisa Tilstra (of Make Life Less Difficult), Morgan Loosli, Susie Csorsz Brown

If you are a Foreign Service family, and you're about to send your kiddo off to university, you might have some questions about how that travel can happen, and if there are allowances that support that. As a matter of fact, there are! The allowances are not always easy to understand and are open to interpretation by your Finance and Management Officers, so be sure to have that conversation with them so you fully understand their interpretations. 

Plan ahead, have your kiddo get their items ready, and let's prepare for a successful send-off to university!

Having the opportunity to take an R&R is phenomenal.  Some destinations can be more rewarding and enjoyable than others, though.  Here are 4 Women Talking (Morgan Loosli, Hillery Midkiff, Lisa Tilstra, and myself) sharing our top R&Rs destinations and briefly why (top 2 each) and suggestions to help make R&R or extended vacation actually enjoyable and relaxing.  

Friends, no one likes packing out from their home.  It's stressful, emotionally draining, and just tiresome.  Some suggestions to make it maybe a little less awful, some funny (I think) pack-out stories, and hopefully some advice that will be useful to get through the process.  And don't forget the best part about packing out: the tape ball war once the boxes are all stacked up and all that is left is empty space and the ends of the tape rolls!

What can we do for employment, to connect to our (new) community, to keep doing things that are meaningful?  And yes, absolutely, parenting and contributions to home life are 100% meaningful but sometimes we want things outside the house, too, right?  Join me for a conversation with Lelania Van de Berg, one of my favorite sweat session instructors, and we talk about what you can do outside of the "traditional" job options.  

Here we are, in our 8th tour, and we still make dumb rookie mistakes.  Don't be like us, learn from our experience.  A house break-in is not just aggravating because you lose stuff, but more, it wreaks havoc on your peace of mind and sense of security.

Join me for a conversation with my fellow Big Purple Blobbers, Angi, Lisa and Sharoya, talking about our start up stories, joining the FS and our a-ha moments.  What's your start-up story?  

Join Sharoya and I for a conversation with Megan Norton, a TCK herself, sharing an opportunity she has created for connecting with and sharing your story and your FS experience.

“Letters Now Sent” Book Invitation:

You are invited to submit a written piece for the book, “Letters Now Sent.” Inspired by Ruth Van Reken's book "Letters Never Sent", "Letters Now Sent" will be a collection of letters from TCKs, parents of TCKs, and system leaders to share personal stories about their experiences with TCKs/being a TCK themself/raising TCKs. This book is a fusion of both memoir and anthology written in a specific "Dear ___[name]___" format. Here is the Google Form link to submit a letter with additional details about length and content prompts: https://forms.gle/jQyzq3TtFqfyznvCA. The deadline to submit a letter is April 1, 2025 and the book will be launched at Ruth Van Reken's 80th birthday celebration on Saturday, July 26, 2025 in Chicago, Illinois, USA. Families in Global Transition is hosting this Global Gathering event. Registration is open to all. Please contact Megan Norton (megancnorton@gmail.com) if you have any questions about this book project.

“A Work of Heart” Book Invitation:

“A Work of Heart”, a project led by Simona Wiig and Megan Norton, invites any individual who has had a Third Culture experience to submit their artwork expressions depicting their cross-cultural story for the first volume of art collections (including any visual rendering, song lyrics, poetry, videography, etc.) for and by CCKs/TCKs/migrants/global nomads/whatever ‘label’ that encompasses the Third Culture experience. Both Simona Wiig and Megan Norton are creators, artists, dreamers, and Adult TCKs who desire to showcase the Third Culture experience through visual artwork created by fellow friends who have grown up crossing-cultures. Submissions are due by May 1, 2025 for Volume 1. Please contact Megan Norton (megancnorton@gmail.com) if you have any questions about this book project.

Relationships are already complicated, and especially so when we add on elements that are unique to FS like multiple international movies, isolation of nuclear family and Embassy bubble life.  How can we keep the relationship with our partner strong?  

Lisa, Hillery and Morgan talk with me about things they've done and do to keep their marriages strong, even in times of high stress.  

Book Lisa mentioned: Fight Right, John Gottman

https://www.amazon.com/Fight-Right-Successful-Conflict-Connection-ebook/dp/B0C3ZJRBNL/ref=sr_1_1?

Human being as social creatures: we do best when we have a sense of connectedness and contribute to oneness, to unity. We love to contribute time and effort to a common good; a common purpose we can share with our village. 

Join me for a conversation about creating a village: what is it, why is it important and how can we go about creating a village.

For further reading: 

https://www.healthyexpatparent.com/post/social-wellness-family-sized

https://www.healthyexpatparent.com/post/2016/09/30/gimme-a-c

I'm excited to share a podcast with you, talking about nutrition, eating well, and different food choices that might be more healthful. I spend some time talking about super food, about not-so-super foods, and giving tips to help make eating healthfully easier to attain. Check out www.heprecipe.com for super recipes that are good for you and your family, tasty, and nutritionally sound too!

For further reading:

https://www.healthyexpatparent.com/post/them-food-eatin-rules

https://www.healthyexpatparent.com/post/healthy-foods

Talking with Lisa Tilstra, about EFMing and choosing your own adventure, figuring out how to make the transient lifestyle work.  We talk a little bit about how it can be frustrating and hard, and how it can negatively impact relationships.  Some special skills: flexibility and curiosity.  

It is not just about jobs and employment.  Community, mental wellness, figuring out what we need to feel fulfilled as EFMs ... it's a process.

About Lisa: Lisa Tilstra is an EFM, a coach, and hosts her own podcast, including https://makelifelessdifficult.com/ 

Happy New Year!  Sharing an episode of 4 Women Talking (Hillery Midkiff, Morgan Loosli, Lisa Tilstra and myself) as we talk about resolutions, change, how our constant state of impermanence impacts the impetus of chasing change, and how we define "success" with achieving a goal.  We include mindfulness, and also self-compassion as important keys to success.  Join us for a great conversation!  

This podcast is a bit longer, but full of important information.  Talking with M/Med folks about questions about clearances, mental health and special needs.  Also some great suggestions for helping you help yourself get the best care and smooth clearance process.

Sites and links mentioned:

MED Sharepoint homepage: https://usdos.sharepoint.com/sites/MED/SitePages/Public/Main

Med survey
www.bit.ly/MEDFeedbackSurvey

MED Internet Site: https://www.state.gov/bureaus-offices/under-secretary-for-management/bureau-of-medical-services/

Child and Family Programs, for SNEA inquiries: MEDCFP@state.gov

Sharoya and I discuss Anxious generation by Jonathan Haidt  https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Generation-Rewiring-Childhood-Epidemic/

We talk about social media and our kids, the impact of mobile phone usage on our kids, and how all of this is complicating our kids' mental well being.

Resources mentioned:

Raising an adult, by Julie Lythcott-Haims 
https://www.amazon.com/How-to-Raise-an-Adult-audiobook/

Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy
https://www.amazon.com/Free-Range-Kids-Lenore-Skenazy-audiobook/dp/

https://www.kff.org/mental-health/issue-brief/a-look-at-state-efforts-to-ban-cellphones-in-schools-and-implications-for-youth-mental-health/

A great podcast talking about kids and technology: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyFUBP4OhJs

Sharoya Hamm and I discuss supportive bidding for all family members (including furry family members!).  Bidding on new posts is hard enough; we talk about what considerations should be on the table for a successful bidding season for you and your family.

How can we achieve success with a goal, be it a new health behavior, a stress-reduction habit, or new activity? Here I share suggestions for elements that help achieve success (Motivation, Convenience, and Simplicity) and share thoughts on other factors that can help support your success.

Sadly, news of heart-breaking events such as school shootings or terrorist actions comes, and even if we are on the other side of the globe, we can't hide it from our kids.  How do we deal with these traumatic stories?  Should we tell our kids?  And if so, how?  Here, Jennie Linton and I talk about these very tough questions.  This episode is also shared on thebigpurpleblob.com.  

Resources:
https://www.healthyexpatparent.com/post/again-use-your-words

American Tragedy Documentary: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10914182/

How to talk to your kids about scary world events: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-scary-world-events/id1525862812?i=1000555748938

A second episode discussing mammograms, and the importance of this screening test.  Not only talking about survivor stories, but also a little about the process that may happen after having a test come back with an anomaly.  This episode features Jennie Linton and Katie Fowle and is also shared on the BigPurpleBlob podcast.

In this episode, talking about getting mammograms and other screening-type tests and how this can be complicated by being in Foreign Service.  Also sharing insights and stories about this very important preventative test.  Joining me is Katie Fowle, a survivor of breast cancer.  This episode is also shared on TheBigPurpleBlob podcast.  

Addressing super hero skills that contribute to better community and how to turn that kindness and compassion towards our own (harsh) inner voice. 
If you would like to take a deliberate step towards noting and then quieting that inner critic, try this simple meditation: https://www.mindful.org/basic-meditation-tame-inner-critic/ 

Today, talking with my eldest about applying for university, strategies that helped, and then preparing for heading off the university.  As a Foreign Service kid, we have a lot of advantages, but it can be complicated to send our kiddo off to the live on the other side of the planet for a year.  We talk about what we did to prepare, what helped him find successes last year, and how preparing this year for Year #2 looks a bit different than last.  

They went, they studied, they became (somewhat?) independent and adult-like ... now they are home and they are still your child.  Some of it fits, some of it feels a little uncomfortable.  

An important topic, helping kids of all colors have the school and education experience they deserve, no matter what color they might be.  Dr Teneshia Taylor joins me for a conversation about the anti-black experiences our kids have at school, and what we can do to make a positive difference in this seemingly systemic problem.  You can email Teneshia directly at bbeyondbias@gmail.com for more information.  

One of the very real stressors of Foreign Service life is the moving.  Again and again, you'll relocate your home which includes likely weeks of being in limbo, probably a LOT of time with extended family and then more flights to your new-to-you city.  It can be a lot, especially when you're still trying to keep what health and wellness routine you've embraced rolling.  Challenging but not impossible.  Harder still is saying goodbye to friends.  Again, challenging but not impossible.  

What makes it better?  Some suggestions.  Maybe some might work for you.  

Listen here to 4 Women talking (unfiltered, unedited because that's real life)

Why gratitude is important for you, and how you can embrace more in your everyday life.  Includes suggestions for helping your kids embrace more gratitude too.

Please join for the second part of the conversation about How to raise an adult.

One of the hardest parts of parenting is trying to step back and let your kids learn rather than to do all of the things for them.  Here, I am joined by Sharoya Ham, one of my fellow Purple Blobbers, and we talk about a book we both enjoy How to raise an adult, by Julia Lythcott-Haims.  We discuss the points that we most appreciate in the book, and how they relate specifically to parenting and parenting overseas.
Note: had some technically difficulties so this recording is shared in 2 parts.

Sorry, had to reload the audio!  Listen to what I feel Mindfulness is, what it isn't and why it matters.  The practice of being mindful can help positively impact all aspects of your life, and, if you have kids, seeing you practice it regularly will help them tune in with greater ease as well.

For further reading: 

https://www.healthline.com/health/mind-body/mindfulness-activities

https://www.mindful.org/has-mindfulness-become-too-self-involved/

https://www.heysigmund.com/anxiety-in-teens/

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18136/7-fun-ways-to-teach-your-kids-mindfulness.html

https://www.mindful.org/what-is-mindfulness/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-gratitude-and-mindfulness-go-hand-in-hand#gratitude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLpChrgS0AY

Hillery, Morgan and Lisa join me for a conversation about employment.  We cover EFM and PSC related topics, plus working in the Embassy versus working on the economy, salaries, interview horror stories and more.  

A chat with Dr Jones from M/Med about what M/Med and your Health Units do to keep you and your family well overseas.  

After all of the stress of applications, the letter came, your kid is in!  They finally are off to college ... how does this impact the rest of the family?  What's next?

Four women who happen to be in the Foreign Service talk about what it takes to stay fit, eat well, and deal with time zones, moving frequently, and varying options at different posts.

Join me for a conversation with Dr Fae Frederick (https://online-therapy.net/) talking about mental health challenges we face in the Foreign Service and in life, and some specific suggestions for improving your mental health.  

A conversation about conflict: handling it, moving past it, and how inevitable it really is.  Joined for the conversation with Sharoya Hamm (Big Purple Blob member) and Dr Fae Frederick (https://online-therapy.net/).  Shared on Big Purple Blob.

Some of the words we use with our kids are positive, some negative.  You'd be surprised how impactful they all are.  Let's talk about the words that have the biggest impact, and possibly the hardest ones for you to share with your kids.  

A conversation with Menopause Coach, Michelle Hervy, about what helps, what hinders, and what to look forward to with regards to menopause.  

Michelle Hervy: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-hervy-b246a063/?originalSubdomain=lk

Specific suggestions to help you help your kids and family be more grateful every day.