There is a  difference between trusting yourself and being a narcissist.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Flat tire on the way to the Sierras! It's easy to practice acceptance when life is going the way you want it to. It's not so easy when things go wrong.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I'm slowly learning how to say the name of God. It doesn't come naturally for me!

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

There are a lot more ways to say "No" to your existence than killing yourself.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Finding your voice and setting out on an adventure that matters and expresses who you are  is not self-indulgent. It's the only way not to miss out on being YOU. How crazy is it to live your whole life and not be you?!

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

This week something hit me hard. I have never really fathomed with the damage that my commitment to Christian dogma did to others. 

If you're one of those people, this is a long overdue apology.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I'm in Lithia Park in Ashland , Oregon, reflecting on the changes that have taken place since I was here for the summer 43 (!) years ago.

The biggest shift in my life has been in who I trust.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Here's why the I love to escape to the wilderness to practice the three movements and embrace life beyond belief.

I also do a little gear review for those who like such things. Start at 11:00 if you want to skip to that.

This one has some nice pictures. If you'd like to watch the video, go to the web page.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Some of the most attractive people I know aren't very good looking. 

Here are three beauty tips that will work for anyone. And they're free!

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I was surprised and delighted to meet a kind and thoughtful man this week who had a similar experience to mine. 

He, too, was brought up in Conservative Christianity and came to a place where he had to leave. There were some amazing parallels in our journeys.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

There is no true story (Lost)
There are no happy endings (Hadestown)
We will never find the conflict-free place we long for (The Hunger Games)

These three stories illustrate  the futility of basing our lives on stories. The only way to have meaning, purpose and belonging is to live life Facing Up.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Mrs. Swift was the 70-year-old widow who helped teach me how to poke fun at my story and break its power.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Thoughts about facing life's final years with dad.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Not all dogma is the same.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Here is the shift that has literally transformed my existence.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Liminal space is the awkward "in-between" that separates two states of existence. Facing Up helps people navigate liminal space between story and being.  The payoff is life beyond belief.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

OUTRAGE is everywhere these days. But outrage is dangerous energy. It's negative, not positive. Worse, it can unleash our inner Pharisee.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

It is liberating to face the fact that I am a predator like everything else. This opens a door to empathy and gives me the freedom to harmonize with others in a new way.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Is the war in Iran a just war? Maybe that's the wrong question. I'm looking at the war and my conflict with other people through a different lens these days. I like it way better.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I'm up in Seattle this week with my dad, who broke his hip a few weeks back. Here are some thoughts on growing old and facing death.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

It's fun to use my imagination but what I imagine is always a pale shadow of actual experience. If you want to be amazed, don't turn to imagination. Open your eyes!

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Thoughts from my Easter trip to Point Reyes on feeling close to the Divine plus some info on ultralight backpacking for those who are interested.

This one has lots of pictures. If you want to see the video, go to https://facingup.club/ultralight-on-the-trail-with-my-old-friend/. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

The hardest to thing to let go of when I stopped being a Christian was the feeling that God was close.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I'm getting sick of making deals. A deal is a zero sum game where there is a winner and a loser. There is a better way.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I know how great it feels to live an authentic life. Why is it so hard??

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Sometimes when people make a mistake they say, "Oops! I lied." But making a mistake and lying are different. A lie is not a misunderstanding of reality, It is a betrayal.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I get discouraged when I look at what is going on in the world. I find the Serenity Prayer to be a helpful tool to navigate the chaos. (Not Frank Constanza's serenity prayer. We'll look instead to the Dalai Lama and Reinhold Niebuhr.) 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Sometimes Julie says to me, "I love you but I don't like you." Other times she says, "I don't just love you. I like you!"  I like the second statement way better!  

When it comes to relationships, commitment isn't enough. You gotta find friendship. Otherwise, what's the point?

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Here's my sloppy drawing of the the existential shift to life beyond belief.

You can watch the "Three Breaths" video here. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Is your life a meaningless grind? Don't sit around waiting for things to change. Strike out on an adventure!

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Isn't it dogmatic to oppose dogma? 

Philosopher Karl Popper has an enlightening insight that has helped me understand why resisting the current push toward Christian Nationalism is not the same thing as being dogmatic. He also helps me understand why treating others with compassion and kindness is not as simple as saying anything goes.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I'm a slow learner! I'm just starting to recognize one of the most damaging effects of evangelical Christianity: a toxic view of myself. There is a better way!

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Everyone feels joy when things go their way. But what happens when things go wrong?

Here are some thoughts from the trail along with the wisdom of three exceptional women.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

When we assert our story as Truth we produce dogma, tribalism, and war. Our superpower is that we tell stories. Our Achilles heel is that we believe them. Stories are an essential expression of our existence but they are a lousy foundation.

What we need is not a new story, but a new way to REGARD story. The existential shift gives this fresh perspective. We are free to ask “What makes a good story?” and enter the story of our life in a new way. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Will the good guys finally wipe out the bad guys so we can live happily ever after?  The world Katniss lives in is not so simple. Neither is ours.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Facing Up is not an escape. It is a way to embrace being human on every level: desire, story, and being. Today, I  woke to the news that the United States has invaded Venezuela. This is how I am processing this through the lens of Facing Up.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

In 2025 I put myself on the hook to share my life with you each week. 

In 2026 I'm putting myself on the hook to help you make the shift from beliefs and circumstances to the triumph of pure being. 

Want to be a beta tester? The journey begins February 14. Email me or let me know in the comments.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Sometimes I give a conditional "yes" to life, based on circumstances. The existential shift is to START with "yes" and go from there. The story of my life is no longer the foundation of my life. It becomes an expression of it. The difference may sound subtle but it makes a night-and-day change.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

This is how I experience God even though I no longer know what "God" even means.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

It is much harder to be sad without faith. In fact, a feeling of comfort might just be the #1 reason people cling to faith even when they stop believing in it. In this episode I explain  how I discovered happiness without God or Christian community.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I do not understand why the world is set up so that everything lives by munching on everything else. I don't understand it but I think I know what to do about it. Here are some thoughts I had while dodging cars on the way to Los Gatos for Thanksgiving.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I'm pretty sure no one knows the meaning OF life. Our perception is too limited. The meaning IN life? That's a different story.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

If you want to try something NEW, you gotta let go of the OLD. For years, I have made my backpacking more difficult than it needed to be. All because I stubbornly clung to "the way I used to do it." Maybe you need to let go of something to in order to enter the fulness of life.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

In my day job, I direct a Senior Center. I love the job. It gives me the opportunity to think deeply about life's greatest chapter. I also have the privilege of seeing some great examples. Here is a reflection I wrote for the St. Helena Star, the St. Helena town newspaper.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

There's no escaping the fact that we CAN'T get along. Conflict is our only option. But there's a bright side for those with the courage to face it.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Carol and I served churches in Yuba City during the 90's and 00's.

In this episode Carol tells how she overcame the challenges of ministry and personal tragedy to arrive at a wider, more joyful way of being.  I hope her story will inspire you as much as it did me.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I haven't given up on Faith, Hope, and Love. I just don't use the words anymore. Here's why.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Gratitude is not about looking at the glass half full or ignoring the fact that it is half empty. Gratitude is embracing the dynamic tension between the two.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

A hunger zombie is a human being reduced to pure desire. A dogma zombie is a human being reduced to pure story. We were not meant to be zombies!

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I spend a lot of time explaining things but sometimes the best way to experience something is to try it.

I start every day with the three breaths. It only takes 5 minutes and gets me off on the right foot. It's a simple way to face the world with wonder, gratitude and compassion.

Go to the home page (https://facingup.club/) to get the free PDF and more.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Einstein said if you can't explain something simply, you don't understand it. Here is my latest attempt.

This one is much better when you can see the map.  

https://facingup.club/facing-up-the-essence/

A huge thank-you to my wife, Julie, for painting this map for me. Love you, girl!

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

It took me WAY too long to look with my own eyes. I thought what everyone else said was more important. I hope you won't make same mistake and fail to value your own perceptions and ideas.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

In this episode I will tell you why Jesus meant so much to me and why it was impossible for me to imagine life without him. I'll go on to explain why I no longer focus on Jesus, even though there will alway be a part of me that loves him. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

John Muir is famous for his love of nature, and especially the Sierras. If you have never read any of his writings, start with "The Wild Muir." It's a collection of most hair-raising tales. 

Annie Dillard's book, "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek," also made a big impact on me, and for the same reason. Nature strips away our manufactured human existence and forces us to face Reality. No wonder we love her.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Viktor Frankl was a holocaust survivor who studied how people were able to survive in horrific conditions. I read his book, Man's Search for Meaning, in High School and found it very helpful.

I also touch on Camus' books: The Plague and The Myth of Sisyphus in this video.

I mention my video on perceptualism. If you're interested, here's the link. https://facingup.club/perceptualism/

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

No single person has had more of an impact on my life than Emerson. I have read his essay "Self-Reliance" hundreds of times. Today I tell you why he means so much to me.

Here are quotes from the Essay "Self-Reliance." Emerson's works are public domain and easy to find. I recommend his first series of essays. I don't love them all. But the ones I love are some of the best words I have ever come across.

Quotes in this video:

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events. Great men have always done so, and confided themselves childlike to the genius of their age, betraying their perception that the absolutely trustworthy was seated at their heart, working through their hands, predominating in all their being. And we are now men, and must accept in the highest mind the same transcendent destiny; and not minors and invalids in a protected corner, not cowards fleeing before a revolution, but guides, redeemers and benefactors, obeying the Almighty effort and advancing on Chaos and the Dark.”

“If I know your sect, I anticipate your argument. I hear a preacher announce for his text and topic the expediency of one of the institutions of his church. Do I not know beforehand that not possibly can he say a new and spontaneous word? Do I not know that with all this ostentation of examining the grounds of the institution he will do no such thing? Do I not know that he is pledged to himself not to look but at one side, the permitted side, not as a man, but as a parish minister? He is a retained attorney, and these airs of the bench are the emptiest affectation.”

“The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them... A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day.—'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.'—Is it so bad then to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.”

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

How to find belonging in a world that's out to get you. I describe the third movement and show you a breathing exercise I use each morning to internalize a positive response to loneliness.

The pictures will help. You can find them here. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

How to find motivation when you just want to quit. I describe the second movement and show you a breathing exercise I use each morning to internalize a positive response to longing.

The pictures help. You can find them here. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

How to find meaning in a word gone mad. I describe the first movement and show you a breathing exercise I use each morning to internalize a positive response to lostness.

The pictures are useful. You can see them here. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

There are three ways to approach marriage--or any relationship: 

1. Dominance/Submission 
2. Compromise
3. Harmony

After 36 years of marriage I finally learned harmony is the bullseye. In this episode, I explain why. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

People wonder what possesses someone to give up the comforts of home and strike off into the woods. Here's why I do it. It's not so much about nature's beauty as her honesty.

This one is much better to watch visually here. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Today I threw on my backpack and hiked up the Oat Mine Trail above St. Helena and Calistoga to get in shape for my trip to the Enchantments (in Washington State) with my kids. These are thoughts about love I had along the way. Love is not what it seems.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

How to make the three movements a way of life, not just a theory.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Today I bring it back to earth and discuss living your life story in a new way: Adventure, Play, and Kindness.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

How do you find meaningful, authentic existence? This is the big picture looked at in a different way: as a journey.

I'm doing this one in front of a whiteboard. The pictures will be very helpful. You can find them on the website.  

https://facingup.club/meaningful-authentic-living-part-2/

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

What is Facing Up? Today, I zoom out and show you the big picture and explain why it matters.

It is especially useful to see the video of this episode since I present it in front of a white board.  https://facingup.club/meaningful-authentic-living/ 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

The goal today is to face each Specters and say “Yes,” to choose life. I hope you will come to the end of this episode saying, “Yes in the face of Ignarus! Yes in the face of Vanitas! Yes in the face of Rapax! Yes! Yes! Yes! wherever the seed of my life is planted.” 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

The Devil’s Playground is where we go to hide from the Specters. It is not a wellness retreat. The rides leave you sick and disoriented. Today, I will describe eight of them.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

When my story shattered, the first thing I felt was the three Specters. It was as real as if six malevolent eyes were glowing at me in the darkness. I hated them. I tried to avoid them. I told them to beat it. But they remained such frequent visitors that I learned their faces and gave them names: Ignarus, Vanitas, and Rapax. Today, we face the Specters together.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Just as you were evicted from the safety and comfort of your mother’s womb, so your expanded consciousness forces an eviction from the Island of Pure Desire. Human beings are apes who tell stories. Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Here is the link to "The Story of My Fall"  https://youtu.be/f0g3UaM1gMQ?si=Deszp66Bt2gvVptX 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

It all began with a swimming contest. 300,000,000 of you were released at once. It was a no-holds-barred race to see who could reach the egg first. You won.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

In this chapter I will show an alternative to belief that I call Perceptualism. Perceptualism is how I escaped the chains of dogma and found life beyond belief.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

This is about the life that appears at the end of faith—the life beyond belief. I write with sincere desire for you to discover this life.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

The day I nearly drowned as a kid. Thoughts on death and life and the courage to keep going.

This one has some pretty cool pictures if you'd like to watch. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

The Bible was the most important thing in my life. Now I hardly ever think of it. Here's what happened.

You can watch this as a video at facingup.club

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

In this episode, I point to the breakdown of our national story as the root of the present chaos. We are experiencing a global dark night of the soul. Facing this fact is the only way out--or should I say UP?

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

How we can--and must--find life beyond belief.

See the video with illustrations at

https://facingup.club/walk-by-sight-not-by-faith/ 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

A way to live without faith.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Why I became a preacher. Why I got out. What happened next.

This is a compilation of the whole book for those with the stomach to take it all in one dose. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

How I face today.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Here's what I see. 

You will be able to follow this better if you can see the pictures. They are posted in the transcript on my website. https://facingup.club/perceptual-map/

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I walk by sight, not by faith.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

The third horrible discovery: I'm on my own.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

The second horrible discovery: There are no happy endings.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

The first horrible discovery: We're lost.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I realize I will have to find a way to get by without my faith. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

We hit the road in search of a new life.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

How I kept trying and trying until I couldn't try any more.

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

I took half of the church split and tried again.

To watch the video, click here. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

How I blew my first church to smithereens.

Watch the video here. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

How my expectations about church first began to fall apart. 

To watch the video, go here. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Why I felt like I had to be a preacher.

For a video of this episode, go to the blog post on my website. 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

How I met Jesus at my lowest point in high school and fell in love with him.

For the video of this episode, please go to https://facingup.club/bornagain/ 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

My earliest memories. What is story? What is consciousness. So much to discover!

This is more fun with pictures. To see the video go to https://facingup.club/fairytales/ 

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

The horrible Sunday when I accepted the fact I had to resign my church and did not understand what was happening to me. 

For a video of this episode, go to https://facingup.club/resignation/

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club. 

Welcome to Facing Up. This is a podcast for people who have left evangelical Christianity and are going through a dark night of the soul.

I begin with my own story: why I became a pastor, why I got out, and what happened next.

For a video of this episode, go to https://facingup.club/introduction/

To find out more about the Facing Up Club, go to facingup.club.