Moments Matter

81: Beginnings and Endings (Our Last Episode)

Sat, 07 Oct 2023 17:00:00 -0500

Join Sonja and Julia for one last episode about the beginnings and endings of seasons. :) We love you all, thank you for listening in.

80: Dear Younger Me (From Me at 51 Years Old)

Wed, 20 Sep 2023 09:03:00 -0500

I turned 51 the other day, and it was hard. For some reason 50 seemed easier than 51. Today I talk about what I would tell myself I was 25 again. Can you think of what YOU would say if you could go back and talk to your 25 yourself? It's important to think about how God changes us and heals us through the years, and as women we should think of how far God has brought us as we get older. It's good to remember all the amazing lessons you learned along the way as we recognize we're getting older. Join me in the conversation today–what would you tell your 25 year old self?

79. How to Cheer On Your High School Senior or College Freshman From the Sidelines

Wed, 13 Sep 2023 02:00:00 -0500

It's so hard to be on the sidelines when your high schooler is doing all the "lasts" you do as a senior. It's possibly even harder to wait for that first phone call (or even just a text) from your college freshman who you haven't seen in a month. Today I'm asking how you're doing with these changes and listing crucial ways to cheer your child on as they step into adulthood in these next few years.

I know how hard it is to see them in these new transitions, and sometimes it can be difficult to know how to support them without getting in the way of their big year. What do you do when they're having a rough day? Or having a bad attitude about school? Is there a healthy way to help your college kid find what they need at school? Join me as I discuss all these common questions on today's episode and empathize with the mamas that are on the sidelines for these big life moments in their child's life.

78: How Do You Listen to the Holy Spirit?

Wed, 06 Sep 2023 02:00:00 -0500

How do you know if He is speaking to you? Sonja and Julia discuss the mysteries of how the Holy Spirit works in our lives. While Julia is hesitant to say she knows how to listen to the Holy Spirit, Sonja discusses the experiences in her own life that have lead her to understand His voice. Are you listening? Are you looking for the nudge?

There's a bit of a disagreement on today's episode about whether or not the Holy Spirit is speaking to us using a voice. Is it just about feeling? How do we actually hear from Him? These are few of the things we discuss together.

77: Measures of Grace: When God Gives Your Child a Diagnosis You Can't Change | ft. Jennifer Ouderkirk

Wed, 30 Aug 2023 02:00:00 -0500

“I can’t describe how different he had become in that time when he realized he was different.” Jennifer Ouderkirk joins us today to tell her story of how God transformed her life when she had her son, Brandon, who was born with learning disabilities. She shares the heartbroken experiences God taught her during that time and how she learned to teach Brandon that God doesn't make mistakes. We as moms want to be able to fix the problem, we want to protect our children from difficult things, but we don't always have that choice. We must be able to let go of the control and allow God to give us the grace He gives so freely, but it may just take everything we as moms have.

76: My Son-in-Laws Hijacked My Podcast!

Wed, 23 Aug 2023 02:00:00 -0500

My 3 son-in-laws join me on today's episode! It was a blast to talk about what mother-in-law stereotypes I fill, how first impressions can be deceiving, and what it's like being a part of a close knit family. Are you a mother-in-law now or getting ready to become one soon? There's so many ways to have a good relationship with your son-in-law or daughter-in-law and here's just a few insights into my past experiences and what my son-in-laws have to say about how I've managed so far.

75: Seven Tips for the Empty Nester Dreading the End of Summer

Wed, 16 Aug 2023 02:00:00 -0500

The fall season is just around the corner and that used to mean "back to school," but now it just means... what? For the empty nester, fall means something different than it meant all those years of school supplies, new clothes, and a new calendar.

What does it mean for the empty nester now and how can we mitigate the depression that might start to creep up as we think of what used to be (or having to say goodbye to our college-age kids)? Sonja discusses some practical tips to make this next season more bearable and even enjoyable!

74: How You Can Make a Difference in a Teen's Life and High School Memoirs

Wed, 09 Aug 2023 10:27:00 -0500

Sonja travels back in time to when she was in high school and reminisces of the 80s and what it was like going to a small Christian school as a teenager. Between an awful car accident that changed her freshman year of high school to a wonderful youth pastor and his wife who mentored her, we had a lot to discuss today! We hope you're encouraged by our discussion on how you can make a difference–and how every moment really matters in those formative years.

73: How to Make Really Hard Decisions Using Your Heart, Head, and Gut

Wed, 02 Aug 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Do you feel absolutely stuck over a decision you're making right now? Everyone has hard decisions to make and oftentimes it feels like you can't win either way, but what if we had a blueprint for making those kinds of decisions with confidence? Today Sonja discusses what we can do on a practical level to use our heart, our head, and our gut in our decision-making process to stop the constant back-and-forth.

There are seasons when you feel like you can't make a difficult decision, and instead of giving you empty promises that "whatever decision you make will be okay", Sonja guides you through a way to make decisions using all 3 of your centers of intelligence.

72: Grandma's Survival Toolkit: Birth, Babysitting, and Boundaries | Interview with Ashli Prieskorn

Thu, 27 Jul 2023 09:00:00 -0500

What's expected of you when your daughter or son is having a baby? When should you help them out and when should you give them their space? All these questions (and more!) run around in your head when you become a grandma. It's a whole different ballgame with a different set of boundaries. We have Ashli Prieskorn, Sonja’s daughter, to help us with this discussion on expectations for the birth and beyond. How do we communicate with our children about THEIR children?

71. Long Engagements, Yay or Nay? The Highs and Lows of Big Decisions | Interview with Jenna Dalton

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 02:00:00 -0500

For mothers and daughters (and sons), the engagement and wedding process is a tricky one riddled with highs and lows. JennaLyn Dalton, Sonja's youngest daughter, joins us today to tell her story of how she came to the decision to move up her wedding date by almost 8 whole months and what her relationship with her parents looked like on that journey.

Have your sons or daughters considered long engagements? If so, what are the pros and cons? We dive into the many challenges that come along with deciding when to get married and how to have conversations about it.

70: How to Know if You're Manipulating Your Adult Kids Into Getting What You Want

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Moms, we must be aware of how we treat our adult children! Are we passive aggressive, do we guilt them into doing things we want them to do, do we manipulate and manuever situations to get the outcome we desire? An even better question: how do we know if we're doing this?

Today we talk about what it means to depend on your kids for your happiness and how that feeds into the way you act toward them and love them. It's time to wake up and be the best mom we can be to our adult children.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes book link

69: When Your Adult Kids Are Having Marital Problems

Wed, 28 Jun 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Everything in your bones says that you are on YOUR kid's side when they are having problems with their spouse. Your heart wants to instantly think that it's your daughter- or son-in-law's fault and that your child is the innocent party in whatever marital problems they are having. Today we consider what it looks like to be a supportive and loving parent to a child who is going through marital issues. Everyone goes through difficult seasons, and it's up to you decide how you're going to treat your kids as they walk through life's rough journeys. What is a healthy, Godly way of responding to your child and their spouse?

68: What to Do When You Feel Like a Forgotten Mom of Adult Children

Wed, 21 Jun 2023 13:38:00 -0500

"We have an army of forgotten moms trying to navigate their changing roles with their adult children... and don’t know where to turn." Do you feel forgotten as a mom of adult children? There were all these resources for moms when you were a mother of little toddlers, but now the help and community seems few and far between. Today we tackle an article written by Pamela Henkelman that gives some amazing advice on how to encourage "the forgotten moms" in the thick of parenting adult children.

When you don't know where to turn, we've got you. Listen in today to hear our take on a wonderfully written article.

The Forgotten Moms Article: https://www.pamelahenkelman.com/blog/f1f5riui0r7al80gdh68wvy1pg3jiw

67: How Your Bible Reading Can Impact Your Children's Lives Today

Wed, 14 Jun 2023 02:00:00 -0500

"It may have seemed disappointing to us at the time–my papa who I saw only a few times a year–shushing us chatty little girls to read a book. But it made me wonder what all the fuss was about? Did it really matter that much, reading the Bible and praying?" Julia gets on the podcast to give a child's perspective on how a parent's relationship with God can impact a child's life whether or not they see it as helpful in the moment. She discusses the importance of having a relationship with the Lord, and how she came to naturally make a habit of reading the Bible through different examples in her life.

66: 30 Years and Counting: A Letter To My Daughters

Wed, 07 Jun 2023 02:00:00 -0500

I confess I had a fight with Kevin very recently that reminded me of who I used to be and how far God has brought me since then. It's something I want not only all of my listeners to hear, but especially my 3 daughters. God can fill your life with redemptive grace, amen? Today I talk vulnerably about the imperfections that I still face even today, and I do a deep dive into some of my health struggles and what I've been working through for most of my life. There are such hard things that happen, and it's crazy to think about how God brings you through it all.

65: Make the Best Use of Your Summer, Outdoor Floral Aesthetics, and Moving Your Body

Wed, 31 May 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Don't look back at the end of the summer and say you didn't do anything! Let's dive deep into how to have the best summer ever with these 5 intentions. Sonja and Julia discuss 5 ways (we won't call them goals, we promise!) in which we can be productive and fun this summer without getting too caged in. Sonja talks about "fluid documents," how to set intentions, and make the best of your summer no matter if you're an empty nester or in your 20s. Join them for this fun discussion around summertime productivity.

64: When Your Kids Want Nothing to Do With Your Faith

Wed, 24 May 2023 02:00:00 -0500

What do you do when your kids want nothing to do with your faith? The hardest journey to tread is being a Christian parent to an unbeliever. Your heart aches for them, your desire is that they would hear the truth and know it, but you don't know how to handle the day-to-day reality. How much time do you invest in them, what does it look like to love them well, am I enabling them when I help them? There are so many questions that go through your mind, and Sonja discusses some possible steps to take when walking this hard road.

63: What It Takes to Have Great Relationships with Your Adult Kids

Wed, 17 May 2023 00:00:00 -0500

Motherhood is not an easy road, and it starts to look different as your kids grow older. Sonja and Julia discuss what it actually takes to have good relationships with your adult kids (and with your parents as adult children). If you're wondering how to have thriving relationships with you adult children, you have to be willing to put in the work and grow yourself to become the mom that your kids want to be around when they're older. So, what DOES it take? It's not an easy job to be a mom of adult children, and if you're looking for some insight to communicate well, listen in to hear what Sonja has found to be true in her own life with adult kids.

62: An Unpopular Opinion About Mother's Day

Wed, 10 May 2023 07:57:00 -0500

Mother's Day is not always all it's cracked up to be. Sonja and Julia discuss the history of Mother's Day and why it started in the first place and they ask the question who is Mother's Day really for? Is it still for the mothers who have become grandmas? Is it necessary at all? We dive into the woes of Mother's Day as well as what it SHOULD look like for those mamas who are in the trenches with little ones.

- What expectations should one have for Mother's Day if your kids are out of the house

- Why are sermons on Mother's Day the same every year?

- Mother's Day as a hard day for some

- What mothers can do to have a wonderful day with their families

61: Moments Really Do Matter: Intentionality, Dad's Video, and Coffees at Play Practice

Wed, 03 May 2023 02:00:00 -0500

The small moments add up. Today, Julia reminisces about some of the moments that really stood out to her as a child... whether she knew the reason for why it stood out or not! She talks about the moments that really shaped her, encouraged her, and gave her confidence. What does it look like to to be faithful to your children and how can you implement that now?

60: Preparing Your Kids for Big Transitions: Middle School, High School, and Beyond

Wed, 26 Apr 2023 22:00:00 -0500

Middle school can be a huge transition, how do you prepare your child for something like that? Changes can be hard, and not every child reacts the same way. Sonja thinks back to yesteryear when she was caring for three elementary girls and gives us 5 simple ways to help your kids make smooth transitions. We talk about how to have productive conversations with your child about their thoughts and expectations surrounding middle school and high school and what it looks like to have a good listener as a mom.

59: Praying for Rain in the Rainy Season

Wed, 19 Apr 2023 08:30:00 -0500

"Pray for rain in a season of rain. The Lord makes the rainclouds and He will give them showers of rain..." What does it look like to pray for rain in a season of rain? Sonja and Julia discuss a different way to look at being thankful for what you have in a season of blessing. We talk about what it looks like to take things for granted and how easily we can be apathetic towards what we have. Join us in the conversation and consider what it might look like for you to pray for rain in the rainy season.

Lisa Jo-Baker Books: https://lisajobaker.com/books/

58: The Vital Necessity to Having Deeper Relationships with Your Kids

Wed, 12 Apr 2023 15:12:00 -0500

If you don’t already have good communication in your family it is difficult to start, but for the sake of your family and future generations it is vital. Sonja talks about how her and Kevin communicated the big things to their girls when the time was right and how they shared what they did. What does it look like to say the things we know we need to tell our children? We talk about how secrets can eventually lead to trust issues with your adult kids, and how to handle that before it gets to a point of contention.

57: 5 Steps for When Your Adult Child Makes a Shocking Decision

Wed, 05 Apr 2023 02:00:00 -0500

"You can't marry a man you just met."... or can you?

Every mom will have that day when her adult child comes to her and tells her they made a decision–a decision she did not see coming. Have you had that day yet? Sometimes it's just laughable, but other times it can be painfully life changing when your adult child makes a decision you do not agree with... or a decision that seems crazy. Julia tells the story of when she met Caleb and their rapid romance that surprised Sonja and Kevin and left them with a lot of questions. We discuss the 5 steps Sonja went through to process this outrageous request and how you can be prepared to respond well... not just react.

56: Dear Mom, Thanks for Teaching Us Modesty Back Then Because It Still Matters Today (Part 2)

Wed, 29 Mar 2023 11:45:00 -0500

The word "modesty" seems old-fashioned and cringe-worthy now, doesn't it? It almost feels like an overused, abused word to mean: "rules matter most." We're here to take a different approach.

We welcome Sonja's two other daughters back on the show today to finish our "Dear Mom" discussion on what we think of modesty today. What is modesty really, and should we be pursuing it? Who's body is it, anyway? What does it look like when you're married? Some quick highlights include:

- Moms who already have kids grown up, what should we do as we look back on how we raised our girls?

- Modesty is just a facet of being a Godly woman.

- The definition of modesty and what truly matters (hint: it's not a list of rules!)

- The balance of being humble in what you wear vs. making sure you take care of yourself

55: Dear Mom, Growing Up "Modest" Had Its Highs and Lows (Part 1)

Wed, 22 Mar 2023 02:00:00 -0500

All 3 of Sonja's daughters get on the podcast with her today to talk about their experience with all-things modesty growing up. We deep dive on a rollercoaster (laden with tension AND humor) into some good memories, some not-so-great memories, and some memories we'd rather forget! See the up-close dynamics of what 3 sisters went through growing up in a great Christian church that had its flaws and living in a Christian family (that also had its flaws!). Part 1 of this conversation includes a lot about the growing up years and what the 3 daughters thought about how we dressed vs. Sonja's perspective of how she brought up her girls. What was it like growing up in "purity" culture and was it all bad?

Listen to next week's episode (part 2) to find out what they all think now about how they grew up and what their opinions on "modesty" are now.

54: What Are My Kids Responsible For? Bad Attitudes, Chores, and Consequences

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 02:00:00 -0500

What are tweens and teens actually responsible for? As they get older, should we give them consequences, or should we just let them deal with the natural consequences of their choices? We talk about how bad Julia and her sisters' attitudes were when it came to doing chores around the house and how Sonja's battle was uphill the entire way. Tune in to hear us talk about questions like: how much do we interfere with homework, do you let their poor choices affect the whole family?

53: Sonja's Journey to Israel, One Piece of Bark, and Having Real Faith

Wed, 08 Mar 2023 02:00:00 -0600

Join us as Sonja brings us on a ride of the many places she and Kevin visited while in Israel. Have you ever experienced walking where Jesus walked? She talks about her time there, what God taught her, and gives us an amazing reminder of faith and assurance as we talk about the many things she experienced. From riding camels to watching travelers of all sorts trying to find the truth in a modernized, historic place, her adventure was worth every minute and she's excited to encourage all of you in YOUR walk with Jesus.

52: Being Fruitful: Feminine Not Feminist

Wed, 22 Feb 2023 02:00:00 -0600

Julia gets on by herself to talk about feminism, femininity, and what it looks like to be fruitful in every season of life. She talks about what her mom taught her about being feminine and what the obvious differences between being a man and a woman look like. But what about feminism? Are we, as Christians, supposed to be feminists? Does “being fruitful” always mean having children? She gives examples from women in her life that are extremely fruitful–married, unmarried, mothers, wives, grandmas, and mentors.

51: What in the World Do You Need? | Valentine's Edition with Kevin Wallenbeck

Wed, 15 Feb 2023 02:00:00 -0600

His needs, her needs... we all have needs. Sonja welcomes Kevin, her husband, back to the show for a special Valentine's Day Edition! They talk about a tool that helped them learn each other's needs and values and how that shifted their marriage just a few years ago. It was like a light bulb moment had gone on! God designed us each with unique needs and values that fit our own personalities, and understanding each other in this way is a GAME CHANGER for any relationship. Listen as they talk about some fun stories... you'll also hear some insider secrets that maybe you didn't know about Sonja and Kevin.

Needs and Values 18-Page Assessment: contact sonja@bigmomentmentor.com to get your free copy!

50: What We Can't Control As Moms

Wed, 08 Feb 2023 11:48:00 -0600

We like to think we're in control of our kids' lives, but oftentimes we're not. We can do all the right things, say all the right things, and still our kids might do the wrong thing. We've talked a lot about do's and don'ts in other episodes, but on this one we're talking about the main things we're not in control of as mothers... whether we'd like to think we are or not. This is not any easy truth to admit, especially when it comes to the hard things like our kids' futures and their lives as adults. Today we dive into some of the things we aren't in control of and how Sonja deals with it even now.

49: The Wild Journey of Being the Wife of an Entrepreneur

Wed, 01 Feb 2023 09:00:00 -0600

The early days of their marriage were rough, and Sonja had no idea what an "entrepreneur" was or how to love her husband well through it all. Walking through Kevin's multiple jobs when she had a baby or two on her hip was the last thing she wanted to do, and it made her doubt her husband and his ability to take care of them.

Why think of another job idea before the other one has just begun? It drove her crazy not to see the benefits she was hoping for and produced a lot of friction in their family. So here's some advice for the wives who have husbands with big ideas! If you know, you know.

48: Julia’s Story of Being an Angry Kid and Having a Jealous God

Wed, 25 Jan 2023 02:00:00 -0600

Julia was kind of an angry kid... but she lived in an environment of God's love where her parents and school teachers were teaching her about Christ for all of her childhood. She tells her story today about some deep-seated issues she had of entitlement and when it all changed for her and she realized where her true satisfaction comes from. God is a jealous God, and He used this in her life to teach her about what true love looks like even though she really isn't entitled to it all.

47: How to Become a Better You When You're Not Super "Goal-Oriented"

Wed, 18 Jan 2023 02:00:00 -0600

Setting goals in middle age is difficult, and today we get on the podcast today to talk about how Sonja was never a "goal-oriented" person. Because of this, she would get discouraged every new year because it seemed like she never really had mile markers to remind her how she'd changed over the year. When she began to create action steps that she could focus on month to month, everything changed.

- What Sonja did to achieve goals without being a "goal-oriented person"

- How many days it takes to build a habit

- How we talk to ourselves really matters... why do we never say the positive things out loud?

46: Choosing a Word for the Year and How It’s Changed Our Family

Wed, 11 Jan 2023 02:00:00 -0600

Why a “word” of the year? Most of our family–consisting of 8 adults–chooses a “word” for the year, and we've done it for a while now. It all started as a social media trend–but now it's a staple part of our family's year. We talk about how it started, how it’s going, and how we’re evolving the word of the year to create more meaning for our year than we have in the past.

A word for the year might be trendy, but it’s convinced even the most skeptical of us that it’s helpful
Is there a difference between consistency in our goals vs. being faithful to our goals?
You start it and perhaps they will follow

45: Don’t Take it Personally and Other Fun Stuff Moms Need to Hear About Traditions

Wed, 14 Dec 2022 02:00:00 -0600

We really just shot in the dark with this one (it’s the holidays, we’re busy, too!), so it’s a fun conversation about traditions, gift giving, and making the season truly mean something for your family. What can you do to be more intentional to love your adult kids well? What does making a Christmas list have to do with personalities? Here’s to our incredibly random episode where we came up with these topics on the fly:

Why the gift giving and receiving might be a stressor
Changing holiday traditions with your adult kids when they get married
How to make your daughter-in-law or son-in-law feel more welcomed into your family traditions
What you should do when your kids make their own decisions
Don’t be the mom who takes things personally

44: They'll Be Home For Christmas... If Only In My Dreams

Wed, 07 Dec 2022 02:00:00 -0600

This episode is for whenever your kids aren't home for the holidays... You know that awful, painful experience when your kids become adults and you don't see them for those special days... yes, I (Sonja) know it well, too. So what should you do? How do you handle your emotions? Here's what Julia and I talk about today:

When your kids don’t come home for the holidays
How to emotionally respond as a mother in law to holidays
What it looks like to be okay during the holidays AND miss your kids
An encouragement to the moms with kids are struggling with sin issues that make the holidays difficult

43: Holidays Don't Start and End With Your Adult Kids Coming and Going, Do They?

Thu, 01 Dec 2022 15:05:00 -0600

Do your holidays start and end with your adult kids coming and going? Whether you have kids coming home or it's just the two of you this year, it's important to be intentional with your spouse and enjoy the holidays. Here's what Sonja talks about on today's episode:

What does empty nesting look like during the Christmas season?
Conversations you need to have with your spouse before your kids show up
Making Christmas intentional for the two of you
Handling possible depression after your kids leave and Christmas is over

42: Being Thankful for What You Have and Why It Matters Even When It's Hard

Wed, 23 Nov 2022 02:00:00 -0600

When was the last time you listed off what you were thankful for? Did it have an impact on you? I know that some of you are going through difficult, hard things as the holidays begin. I know that it'll take a deep breath just to get through the moments. So today, I'm being vulnerable as I get on the podcast all by myself!

If you're having a dark day or you're struggling as the holidays begin or maybe you're just not in the right mindset yet to really have wonderful Big Moments this season, I hope this episode can encourage and uplift you… to show you that just listing off what you’re thankful for can lead to true joy.

41: The Best Thing You Can Do As You Become An Empty Nesting Mom

Wed, 16 Nov 2022 02:00:00 -0600

What do you do as an empty nester? How do you keep going with the house so quiet all the time? I (Sonja) share an amazing experience I had just a few weeks ago and how it truly showed me that empty nesting can be a good season of life, too. In today's episode we talk about what you can do as a mom just gearing up to be an empty nester and how to make it significant when it's happened. God has created you for many purposes and roles in life, all with the same identity: in Christ. It's figuring out what to do with all that extra time (and the quiet house that seems to come with it) that's difficult in the beginning. I share my experiences and encourage those in this season of empty nesting–or nearing it–that although it's not easy, it's time to decide what you'll do about it!

40: The Family Table and How It Will Keep On Giving For Years to Come

Wed, 09 Nov 2022 02:00:00 -0600

The most important piece of furniture in your home is (arguably) the family dinner table. Today we talk about when I (Sonja) and Kevin turned off the TV and started eating at the table and how it changed our family relationships–and how it still has an affect today! We argue that cultivating healthy relationships with your kids starts while eating a meal together. We talk about:

How to start eating at the table with your kids even if you've never done it before (awkwarddd)
Why it's PIVOTAL in family bonding
The ways it keeps on giving (even when your kids are out of the house!)

39: 5 Tips for When Your Adult Kids Come Home for the Holidays

Wed, 02 Nov 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Are you one of those moms that has to make the holidays as wonderful as possible for when your adult kids come home? It can be stressful, and sometimes you can burnout and get to the end of the time and not have enjoyed it at all! I (Sonja) have been there, and since then I've collected 5 tips that are absolute MUSTS at our home now for when "Camp Christmas" begins and our children (and grandchildren) arrive.

If you're ready to tackle the holidays and actually enjoy yourself this year, listen in on today's episode to find out my (Sonja) secret holiday essentials to prepare before my kids even get to my house. Trust me, they make life a whole lot easier!

38: Should I Care About My Appearance?

Wed, 26 Oct 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Too often we find ourselves caring about what other people think of us–and that means we can care too much about my appearance. When I (Sonja) think back to when I first had kids, my "appearance" took way too much time and energy, but I thought people would look down on me if I didn't spend the time dressing up. I share some stories from the past and from more recently of how I've dealt with it all.

- How much SHOULD we care about our appearance?

- What is an unhealthy balance and what's a good balance?

- Is makeup a sin?

- Do these choices affect our children?

Just a few questions we try to tackle on today's episode of Moments Matter.

37: Building New Foundations with Your College Kid as They Become a New Person | Interview with Brooke Sheesley

Wed, 19 Oct 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Brooke Sheesley, our guest and Sonja's best friend, took her daughter to college after years of raising her as a single mom and today she gets on the podcast to tell us about the experience of dropping her off at college and then coming back a few months later to realize her daughter had grown up, changed, and become someone she had get to know in a new light. Brooke talks about how she had to learn to build different foundations for their relationship.

When her daughter came back home for the summer after her first year, they both had a lot to learn about what their "roles" are now as two adults. Brooke shares these experiences with amazing insight and helpful tips that will encourage other moms going through a similar season right now.

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

36: Don't Waste Your Empty Nest Years, Technology Addictions, and Living in Seasons

Wed, 12 Oct 2022 02:00:00 -0500

As you begin the journey of empty nesting, you may find you can make yourself way too busy or you feel completely paralyzed from doing anything whatsoever. Why is that?

Sonja dives into what her empty nesting process has been, what she could have done differently in the beginning, and how she’s struggling now. Julia gives her some questions to think deeply about where she’s at right now… what IS her purpose now… or is that the question she should be really asking?

What is the purpose of an empty nester as you take on new roles?
How to NOT waste your time now that it’s “free” of the responsibility of having kids in your home
How technology (and scrolling on the phone or watching TV) has really played a large part in Sonja’s struggle

35: Life Lessons with Sonja: Careers, Car Accidents, and the 80's

Wed, 05 Oct 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Sonja turned 50! So in honor of her birthday, Julia wanted to get real and raw by asking her 10 questions that she hadn't heard before we started recording. We have some laughs, but we also receive some pearls of wisdom from a woman who has lived through some difficult seasons and come out the other side still trusting in the Lord. Would she change even the worst of circumstances and darkest seasons?

If you want to hear about family vacations, terrible car accidents, and the million different jobs Sonja had growing up in the 80s, tune in on today's episode. Hopefully we can encourage and uplift you today!

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

34: How Do I Prepare My Kids to Handle Money? Learning Value, Getting Jobs, and Giving Generously

Wed, 28 Sep 2022 02:00:00 -0500

It's never too early (or too late) to teach your kids the value of money. Whether they're in middle school or they're adults and living on their own, you are an example to your children about what kind of legacy you want to leave when it comes to finances. Today we discuss Sonja and Kevin's early life with very little money, how they modeled the value of money to their kids, and what practical steps they took to show their kids how to handle their own finances. Kevin and Sonja started out with less than nothing–lots of debt!–and turned their lives around to make a better life for their kids. In the process, they taught their young teenage daughters what it is like to pay for the essentials out of their own pocket (but there was a twist there–they actually didn't earn it from chores). We answer questions like whether or not your teenage should get a job, what it looked like for their kids to have their own cars by the end of high school, and what giving generously can add to your life.

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

33: How to NOT Become a Bitter Old Woman By Detecting Unhealthy Patterns Now

Wed, 21 Sep 2022 02:00:00 -0500

We all have unhealthy patterns–are we aware of them, though? No one wants to become a bitter old woman later in life, but that's not always the case.

Today, we're talking about the unhealthy patterns and WHY they might be happening... and how to change them. It's not easy to let yourself be more self aware of what might be going on in the day-to-day conflict of life, but it's necessary to flourish and grow and enjoy your life (and have others enjoy you, too!). We dig deeper in the Enneagram and the Harmony Triad–are YOU a head, heart, or gut person? Find out where your unhealthy patterns start (by learning where your reactions start) on today's episode.

Free Guide to the SNAP Tool: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

32: Roles in Marriage, Being Aware of Generational Expectations, + Who Does the Laundry in the Creepy Basement

Wed, 14 Sep 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Let's talk about traditional roles in marriage (and how they change in different seasons of marriage). It's a bit of a hot topic, but we should be having conversations about what a husband and wife do on a day-to-day basis to make the house run well. As empty nesters, Sonja and Kevin are reevaluating who does what chores and what roles they have, which made her realize she hasn't ever had a conversation with her girls about what we should do about traditional roles in the home. Here's what we discuss:

- Why many women get that "tensed up" feeling when anyone mentions "roles" in marriage

- Why this conversation of marriage roles NEEDS to happen over and over between a husband and wife

- How Sonja wishes she would have talked about roles in marriage with her girls before they got married

- How generational expectations can make things awkward in the first few years of marriage

FREE RESOURCE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

31: How to Teach Your Kids to Love God (and Read the Bible)

Wed, 07 Sep 2022 02:00:00 -0500

You can't force your kids or your teens or even your adult children to love God, but can you teach them and train them how to do love God? Sonja and Julia talk about the practical ways Julia was trained as a child and teenager to love the Lord and to read her Bible.

We are not perfect and we don't know all the answers, but people ask how Sonja and Kevin raised girls that love the Lord and desire to do His will. Each of them were taught to read the Bible and to love what Scripture says, but how? We're going to try to answer that question with 5 ways Julia remembers that Sonja and Kevin trained their daughters in the way they should go.

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

30: How Do I Honor My Parents Now That I'm An Adult?

Wed, 31 Aug 2022 04:00:00 -0500

How do I honor my parents as an adult? I have my own life, my own family, my own opinions about what is best... and they have opinions about what is best, too! We're all children of someone, which means that the command in Ephesians 6 is still applicable to us who are over the age of 21 (we'll just go with the age that society acknowledges you are an adult).

We are told in the Bible to honor our father and our mother, but what does that look like for me as an adult who makes my own decisions and doesn't always agree with my parents?

In this episode, we discuss 3 ways we can honor our parents as adults even when we disagree with one another. We even give you an honest and vulnerable peek into our relationship over a specific topic that we disagree on that's happening right now in Sonja's life!

These 3 ways are practical for daily life, and they're critical to obeying the command in Scripture: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” (Ephesians 6:1-3).

29: Who Am I Without My Kids? Empty Nesting, Purpose, and True Identity

Wed, 24 Aug 2022 02:00:00 -0500

When you have kids in the house, it's easy to get sucked into doing all the things–being a wife, mom, and the many jobs that come along with those roles–and to stop growing in Christ because you're too busy. But when this happens and we become empty nesters, we find ourselves at a loss for what our purpose truly is. We've been a mom all our lives, and now that our kids are out of the house, do we really have an identity anymore?

Sonja faced all these questions when her girls left the house and she became an empty nester. She didn't know who she was without her girls, and it was a struggle. If you feel you might be looking for identity in the wrong places and coming up empty, this episode is for you.

Resources:

https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/packages

GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

28: Stop Trying to "Fit In", Finding True Friendship, and Dealing With Seasons of Loneliness

Wed, 17 Aug 2022 09:46:00 -0500

Friendship is hard no matter what age you are. We all want friends, and for a lot of women, it can be hard to find good, Godly friends who encourage you and lift you up. Sonja has gone through multiple "friendship breakups" and has been hurt (and has hurt others) multiple times. We talk about the fact that yes–friends hurt us and we hurt our friends. What do we do then? And what about the seasons of life when we feel alone? Here's what we discuss:

- The difference between "serving" and "people-pleasing"

- Do you try to "fit in" or do you truly belong?

- Tips for being a good friend and finding friends that encourage, uplift, and love you

- What to do when you feel so alone (and don't have any close friends)

Resources:

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

I'll Be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants) by Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston

Find Your People by Jennie Allen

27: How to Handle Taking Your Kid to College + That Final “Rearview Mirror Wave”

Tue, 09 Aug 2022 02:00:00 -0500

What do we do with our emotions when we take our kids to college? Do you have those feelings of letting your little child (who probably isn't little now) head off to college without you? It could be the first time or the last time, but it's still hard (Sonja knows, she's been there). We talk about how to handle the big emotions that come with this Big Moment and answer these questions:

- What if I just want it all to be over with already?

- How do I handle the deep sadness I'm feeling?

- When is it okay for me to check up on my kid after I leave them in their dorm?

- Can I cry about all of this?

There are so many questions about this season of life, especially if you're new to it. We want you to rest in knowing that God was there when you brought that little baby home from the hospital, and He is there when you watch them from the rearview mirror on your way out of their college campus.

The Super Mom's Ultimate College Dorm Room Checklist: go to bigmomentmentor.com/checklist

or click this link: https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/checklist

Having Everyday Victory Over Conflict: bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

26: Listening to God's Voice: Obedience, Moving States Away, Doing Hard Things

Wed, 03 Aug 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Have you ever disobeyed the Lord's leading? Sonja has, and she talks about specific times in her life when listening to the Lord's voice meant doing the hard thing. She grapples with the idea of "partial obedience" and what that truly means... is it really a thing?

Is God calling you to do something you've been pushing against or have you ignored Him before? Life only gets harder when we start going our own way. Sonja talks about what it looked like her for when she disobeyed, and then when she finally listened to what God was leading her to do (even if it meant moving from the newly renovated home in Michigan to Tennessee, 12 hours away from the home they've had for almost 20 years).

Doing hard things is, well, hard. And it hurts. BUT GOD blesses in obedience.

25: When My Adult Child is Dating Someone I Don't Like

Wed, 27 Jul 2022 09:50:00 -0500

Julia dated a guy Sonja and Kevin did NOT like (actually two guys, but that's not the point). What do YOU do when your adult child is dating someone you don't like? What if they are married to someone you don't like? We're diving into some of these tough questions today. We discuss:

- Julia and Sonja's experience with Julia dating someone her parents didn't like

- How to respond to your adult child when they are dating that person you dislike

- What to do and what NOT to do

- Specific questions you can ask your adult children when they are dating someone you don't like

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

24: Why Is It So Hard to Ask for Help? Survivor Mode, Stress, and Vulnerability

Wed, 20 Jul 2022 10:00:00 -0500

Why is it SO hard to ask for help? As women, we're told to be strong and we're told we can do it all... but can we really do it all? Why do we HAVE to do it all? Is that really biblical? Sonja teaches about what happens when you fall into "Survivor Mode," and what that looks like whether you are a head, heart, or gut person.

We talk about vulnerability, asking for help, community, and what being strong REALLY means as a Godly woman.

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory to learn the SNAP tool

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

Big Moment Membership:

https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/big-moment-membership

Sonja's Services to Help Other Women: https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/packages

23: Dear Mom, Thanks For The Standards You Set On Dating, Boys, and Sex

Wed, 13 Jul 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Are strict rules really necessary for dating? What about talking to your kids about sex? What about your adult kids dating? Sonja's 3 daughters, Julia, Ashli Prieskorn, and Jenna Dalton, overtake the podcast today to spill all about what Sonja and Kevin did during their high school years all the way up until all 3 of them them got married. We get to tell some of our horror stories as well as some of our great experiences on the rollercoaster (or really, battle ground!) that is American dating.

I (Julia) remember when my girl friends used to say, "You talk to your dad about your crush?" and I couldn't help but be thankful that I had the kind of relationship with my dad (and my mom) that I had with them growing up. We could ask them anything (not that we always took them up on that offer, though!).

But what did it take for Sonja and Kevin to cultivate healthy relationships between their kid and their kid's significant other where they were involved only as much as they needed to be (they weren't always perfect, and we'll tell you all about it)?

We talk about all the rules, mistakes, and differences between our 3 lives as sisters under the same roof, and what we think of it all now.

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

Other Episodes We Talk About Dating in High School:

Episode 19: My Teenager Wants to Date, What Do I Do?

Episode 8: Good Luck With the Teenage Years, Other Self-Fulfilling Prophecies, + Should We Really Leave Our Teens Alone?

22: What You Probably Don't Want to Hear About Being a Grandparent

Wed, 06 Jul 2022 17:15:00 -0500

It’s so hard to NOT have an opinion when you become a grandparent–and Sonja gets real honest about what a grandparent should really be focusing on (hint: and it ISN'T their own opinion). Have you ever wondered what your role is now that you’re the parent of parents? All grandparents struggle with what to say, when to say it, or if to say it at all when they disagree with their kids’ parenting styles. . So what SHOULD we do as grandparents? We discuss:

The truth about having an opinion and what to do about it
Realizing that it’s your kids’ turn to parent
The best timing to talk about “concerning” issues you see in your kids

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

21: 3 Lessons I Wish I Would Have Taught My Kids Before They Left the House

Wed, 29 Jun 2022 02:00:00 -0500

If Sonja could go back and teach her kids these 3 lessons, she would. They would have had an easier transition from home to college and from college to marriage, and she spills her mistakes on today's episode. If you are still in the teenager stage, you may want to consider teaching these valuable lessons to your kids before they've moved out of the house! Even if they already have moved out though, it's never too late (and we talk about how it's never too late). We all have things we wish we would have done differently, and Sonja is certainly a human who makes mistakes (and she's ready to admit them to you in hopes you don't make the same ones).

20: 4 Tips to Being a Mother-in-Law They Actually Like

Wed, 22 Jun 2022 02:00:00 -0500

It’s time we change the stereotype of being “the annoying mother-in-law.” We all want to be loved by your kids' spouses and have good relationships with them, but it can get super tense when your adult children get married to someone you just don’t know that well. What can we do to relieve that tension and grow healthy relationships? We as Godly mother-in-laws need to be encouraging instead of feeding into or creating drama that might arise between your child’s spouse and you.

Let’s be mother-in-laws that LOVE their daughter- and son-in-laws (and be mother-in-laws that they truly love, too)! But how do we do it when relationships are hard? Sonja and Julia dive into their personal experiences around both being a mother-in-law and having a mother-in-law. Sonja gives 4 biblical tips to be the mother-in-law your kids love instead of being the mother-in-law they roll their eyes over behind your back.

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

19: My Teenager Wants to Date, What Do I Do?

Wed, 15 Jun 2022 02:00:00 -0500

“My kid wants to date. What do I do now?” The classic panic attack we probably all feel or have felt as parents. A lot of times it happens earlier than we expect! Sonja had 3 daughters who ALL dated in high school, and she has a lot of experience… things that worked really well (and things that didn’t). Julia sprinkles her opinions in there, too. Here’s what we discuss:

The 3 different kinds of dating you can choose for YOUR teen
To date or not to date? What Sonja and Kevin decided for their girls
Boundaries? Why are those even necessary?... they're just kids, right?
Teenage Julia's take on some boundaries she had + what she would say about them now

Resources:

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

18: 4 Myths You Might Be Believing About Being or Having a One-On-One Mentor

Wed, 08 Jun 2022 06:52:00 -0500

“Older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children…” Titus 2:4. Should WE be mentoring in the 21st century? What is a mentor and why are we commanded to mentor others? You might be asking yourself, “Wait, I’m not old enough or good enough to be a mentor, right?” Hm… Sonja and Julia talk about 4 myths that they’ve heard other women say about why they don’t mentor or don’t have a mentor (and some we’ve said ourselves and had to learn that they were lies!). We discuss:

How old do you have to be to be a mentor?
4 lies about mentorship that just aren’t true
Ways to be a mentor to other women
Why mentorship is important in every woman’s life

Resources:

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

17: Telling Your Kids About Your Past, Staying Faithful, and The Day Our Marriage Almost Ended Pt. 2 | Interview with Kevin Wallenbeck

Wed, 01 Jun 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Resolved to divorce, both Sonja and Kevin head to a church harvest party. We left you on that heavy cliffhanger last week, and in this episode, we’ll not only be telling the rest of the story, but we’ll also be explaining what it’s like to tell your adult kids about your sinful past and how God's glory can shine through it all. We discuss:

❤️ How Sonja and Kevin’s broken marriage healed

💔 How they told their adult kids about their sinful past

❣️The hardest thing Kevin’s ever had to do

❤️‍🩹 Faithfulness vs. perfection in parenting

16: Humble Beginnings, the Closet Hideaway, and the Day Our Marriage Almost Ended Pt. 1 | Interview with Kevin Wallenbeck

Wed, 25 May 2022 02:00:00 -0500

We have our very first guest on Moments Matter today! And who other than Kevin Wallenbeck, Sonja’s husband and Julia’s dad? Sonja has been able to tell a lot of their background from her perspective, but we thought it would be insightful to our listeners (and hopefully encouraging) to hear Kevin’s perspective, as well. So we interview him about what their early marriage really looked like. We discuss:

Kevin’s humble beginnings
Sonja’s dad’s answer to, “Can I marry your daughter?” when Kevin asked
The imperfections of their early marriage
Disagreeing in front of your kids and what NOT to do
The Closet Hideaway story
The moment it all came to an ugly head

Resources:

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

15: Will Your Kids Need to Recover From Emotionally Immature Parents?

Wed, 18 May 2022 02:00:00 -0500

On average, 720 people will search “recovering from emotionally immature parents” on Google monthly. What does this mean? Adult children want healthy relationships with emotionally healthy parents. It certainly made us reflect on what parents can be doing to ensure they aren’t emotionally immature! We discuss:

What defines emotionally immature parents
Sonja’s story of emotional immaturity as a mom (and as a woman)
The journey that Godly maturity truly is
Are you taking responsibility for your own maturity as a parent?
Defining maturity (responding vs. reacting)
Steps to becoming more aware of your level of emotional maturity

Resources:

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

14: 5 Ways to Make Graduation Enjoyable for Everyone (even you!)

Wed, 11 May 2022 02:00:00 -0500

There’s a lot of emotions surrounding graduation. It’s an exciting time for your kid, but it’s an exhausting (and sad!) time for you. You want to be there and make everyone else happy, and all the while you're stressed and sometimes you can even be sad. There's so much going on–planning a grad party is hard work! Sonja has hosted 3 large high school grad parties and a smaller college grad party as well, and she's got tips! So hang on tight as we talk about:

Super practical tips for high school graduation parties
Are you "just surviving" this season instead of thriving? How do you know?
Sonja's biggest tip to enjoying the time (and all the emotions that come along with it)
How your relationship with your child will change and grow through this time

Resources:

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

13: "Mother Yourself Out of a Job"? (Desiring God Article Review)

Wed, 04 May 2022 02:00:00 -0500

“Mother Yourself Out of a Job” is a wonderful article written by Michele Morin. Both Sonja and Julia agree that what she has to say is valuable for empty nesters (or those nearing that season). We summarize the article, talk about what we agreed with, and we discuss some statements she made that we ultimately don’t come to the same conclusion when parenting adult kids.

Due to a difficult situation that we are in at that moment, we admit our heightened emotions surrounding a particular statement and why the two of us disagreed with a part of the article (we talk about what’s going on in our lives and why it’s been hard recently!). We discuss:

Julia's sweet, surprise message to her mom and all the moms out there (for Mother's Day!)
The danger of idolizing your kids (and the way that Michele Morin talks about it)
Sonja’s experience being a helicopter parent vs being a parent who is involved
What we should be doing as parents as we move toward empty nesting
Sonja and Julia talk about the personal conflict going on between them right now and what it has to do with this article

Resources:

“Mother Yourself Out of a Job: Nurturing Children Toward Independence” by Michele Morin Article Link: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/mother-yourself-out-of-a-job

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

Bonus: Teens and Technology

Mon, 02 May 2022 10:24:00 -0500

Let's talk teens and technology. On this bonus episode, we're going to be talking about what Sonja did, what she wishes she had done, what she could have done better when it came to her 3 teenage daughters and their phones/laptops/tv. We talk about:

- What boundaries Sonja and Kevin put in place (and what she wished she would have put in place)

- Steps to protect your teen's purity in this world that is vying for their attention at such a vulnerable age

- Phone calls/private messaging with the opposite gender (and why this is SO STINKIN' IMPORTANT!)

- Is it breaking your teen's privacy if you are aware and look at what's on their phone?

Resources:

FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory

Or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

12: The Game-Changer: Using the Enneagram to See Our Sins

Wed, 27 Apr 2022 08:12:00 -0500

Today we dive into how the Enneagram has personally affected both Sonja and Julia on our spiritual walks with the Lord. This tool has changed our lives and shown us sins we never realized we were struggling with. In this episode we talk about:

How the Enneagram can help us become aware of the "why" behind our actions (good and bad)
What sin struggles Sonja has had as an Enneagram 8
What sin struggles Julia has had as an Enneagram 4
How the Enneagram helped them see their sins and how it helps them in their daily life to change those patterns

Resources:

Get our Enneagram Beginner's Guide for free: https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/enneagram

Victory Guide: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

11: Helping or Enabling? How to Bless Our Kids in Every Stage of Life

Wed, 20 Apr 2022 02:00:00 -0500

What is the difference between helping your kids and enabling them? We give examples from Julia’s childhood all the way into adulthood and how Sonja and Kevin learned to bless their kids well through each stage of high school, college, and adult life. Blessing your kids can be moments filled with joy and wonder, but how do you do bless them well in whatever stage your kids are enabling them and/or stunting their growth? We answer that question in today’s episode!

Also, we have a question for YOU in this episode and we’d love to hear your thoughts–so please share your answer to the question we pose. Just go to Instagram at @bigmomentmentor and comment under the episode 11 post!

Resources:
Free Guide: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory for your free guide or click on this link: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

10: A Mom's Role in Her Child's Wedding, Personalities, and Apologies Pt. 2

Wed, 13 Apr 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Sonja and Julia's relationship pretty much sucked during Julia’s engagement. Listen to part 2 of the Wedding Planning Process, where we get real honest today as we discuss how bad our relationship got for a while there. In Part 2 of the "Mom's Role in Her Child's Wedding," we talk a LOT about why it's important to know yourself and try to understand each of your adult children in the way THEY need it, not in the way it worked for one of their other siblings. We dive deep into:

Sonja's youngest daughter's wedding story and how it was SO different from the other two daughters' weddings
Why it's crucial to listen to your adult children during their engagement
Things may be different than you expected, how do you handle that?
The reality of differences and what we learned from one daughter to the next
What we wish we would have done differently (get ready to get real: Sonja offers an apology Julia has never heard before!)

Resources:

Go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory for your free guide: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

9: A Mom's Role in Her Child's Wedding, Budgeting, + The Screaming Match Pt. 1

Wed, 06 Apr 2022 02:00:00 -0500

There is so much STRESS involved in wedding planning, and it often revolves around relationships, finances, and… uh, well, relationships. We dive into some pretty vulnerable conversations about how Sonja handled all three of her daughters’ weddings and some practical ideas on what to do throughout the process (as the mother of the bride or groom). We cover:

How Sonja and Kevin budgeted for each wedding and why it’s important to establish finances at the beginning of the planning process
What expectations to talk through with your son or daughter when planning their wedding
One thing Sonja did for each of her daughters that made their big day SO MUCH more special!
The ugliness between Sonja and her daughters and how weddings can often expose your faults (and how to stop that from happening or possibly avoid it altogether!)

Resources:

Go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory for your free guide: Everyday Victory Over Conflict: 4 Steps for a Powerful Pivot from Surviving to Thriving

8: "Good Luck With the Teenage Years," Other Self-Fulfilling Prophecies, + Should We Really Leave Our Teens Alone?

Wed, 30 Mar 2022 10:36:00 -0500

Let’s not resign ourselves to the mindset that just because they are teenagers means they are automatically going to be awful for the next 6 years of your life. Sonja gets a little heated on today's episode as she argues that we can ENJOY the teenage years and how much your parenting matters not only in the moment, but for their future as adults! It just takes work (like all satisfying practices in life, btw). Sonja and Julia discuss these topics:

- The reality is: if you say and think it'll be terrible, it certainly will be terrible

- Mindset changes we can all make to love our teenagers in the BEST way

- Practical steps Sonja and her husband, Kevin, took to communicate with their moody teenagers and how it will affect their kids for the rest of their adult life (Julia is thanking her mom and dad for these things even now, at 23 years old!)

- How we can reflect our heavenly Father in our parenting when it comes to teenagers wanting to "be alone"

7: Is It Worth Vacationing With Your Adult Kids? Expectations to Set, Conversations to Have, and More

Wed, 23 Mar 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Is it really worth all the hassle of trying to vacation with your adult kids? Realistically, what does planning look like and how can you make it as SMOOTH as possible without as much tension, conflict, or drama? On this episode we discuss:

- The best practical conversations to have BEFORE you plan a vacay with your adult kids

- Why expectations should always be communicated and what expectations to set

- What Sonja would say to the grandmas and grandpas planning a trip with their kids AND grandkids

- #1 tip for vacationing with your adult kids

Resources:

How to Cultivate a Healthy Relationship with Your Adult Kids : bigmomentmentor.com/health-relationship-with-your-adult-kids

Big Moment Membership : bigmomentmentor.com/big-moment-membership

6: Facts, Fools, and Fiction: The Enneagram

Wed, 16 Mar 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Remember how the Enneagram was a fad, like, last year? Well to be completely honest, the Enneagram has been around for a lot longer than 2021... or 2020 (should I even mention that year out loud 🥴?). So what are the facts? As Christian women, dare we even CARE about the Enneagram? Are we fools to use the Enneagram even now, after all the stereotypes put out on the internet? (PSA: the internet is ALL about the stereotypes and behaviors and not what the Enneagram is really about!) On today's episode, we answer these questions (and more!) and talk about how the Enneagram has changed our marriages, our relationship with each other, and our spiritual and emotional growth. We cover:

- What's so different about the Enneagram vs. other personality tests?

- How should we use it as Christians?

- How is helps us understand our relationships with family

- Motivations vs. Behaviors (and why that matters!)

Resources: Christian Woman's Guide to the Enneagram : bigmomentmentor.com/enneagram

5: Finding Joy When Your Kids Live Far Away From Home

Wed, 09 Mar 2022 20:18:00 -0600

CAN you find joy when your kids leave home and live far away? On today's episode, Sonja and Julia dive into how to handle all of the hard emotions of your kids living far away from (and practical ways to find joy in it all). Living far away from your kids is NOT easy, but there is hope to find joy in this season of life. Tune in to hear:

What it was like for Sonja to help move her daughter 12 hours away
Different children bring different emotions to the surface
Where your true identity lies
4 practical ways to find joy even when it's really hard

Guide to Cultivating a Healthy Relationship with Your Kids : https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/healthy-relationships-with-your-kids

Big Moment Membership: bigmomentmentor.com/big-moment-membership

We are so thankful you are taking the time out of your day to listen in to the Moments Matter Podcast! We hope that if you resonate with what we chat about that you would join in on the conversation, leave a rating/review here (scroll to the bottom), and share it with your friends that have been through similar situations.

We want everyone to know that no one is alone in the chaos of this hard and beautiful life!

4: What is Empty Nest Syndrome?, Anxiety of Anticipation, New Purpose, and More

Wed, 02 Mar 2022 02:00:00 -0600

What is Empty Nest Syndrome and what should we do about it? Sonja’s been through it all–the sadness, fear, and guilt–and she’s ready to talk about what to do to lessen some of those difficult emotions as you look down the road to empty nesting or even if you’re already in the empty nesting years! Tune in to hear:

The common signs of Empty Nest Syndrome
How do your kids feel about leaving the house?
Is the anticipation worse than the actual goodbye?
Looking for God's purpose in it all

If Sonja could go back and start the process of empty nesting all over again, THIS is what she would tell herself.

Guide to Cultivating a Healthy Relationship with Your Kids : https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/healthy-relationships-with-your-kids

Big Moment Membership : bigmomentmentor.com/big-moment-membership

3: When I Don't Agree With My Adult Children's Decisions

Tue, 01 Mar 2022 22:45:00 -0600

What do we do when we don’t agree with our adult children’s choices? Is there really a way to let them know we disagree without it ending in a huge conflict? We think there is!

Listen in as we cover:

The differences in response between the high school, college, and adulting stage
Practical, respectful ways to communicate that you disagree with their decision/behavior
What it's like when they go ahead with their decision anyway

Free, Simple Guide to a Healthy Relationship With Your Kids : https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/healthy-relationships-with-your-kids (whether they are teens or adults!)

Big Moment Membership Details : bigmomentmentor.com/big-moment-membership

2: My Crazy Hot Mess Pt. 2 | Reacting vs. Responding

Wed, 23 Feb 2022 02:00:00 -0600

What is the difference between reacting and responding? What does it have to do with being a mature woman of God? Join mom and daughter as they tie up a lot of Sonja's crazy hot mess (i.e. her journey) and what God taught her along the way about her immaturity and where He's still taking her today.

Links We Promised:

Big Moment Membership

Guide to Having Everyday Victor Over Conflict (responding vs. reacting)

1: My Crazy Hot Mess Pt. 1 | Sonja's Story

Tue, 22 Feb 2022 20:11:00 -0600

Welcome to the Moments Matter Podcast! Thank you for joining us in this first episode, where you will hear Sonja's personal journey of how God brought her through a lot of difficult situations throughout her lifetime and what she's learned from her mistakes and experiences.

Join us as we discuss the following:

Sonja's salvation testimony
How she dealt with attempted assault
What happened between her and her husband, Kevin
Financial difficulties
How God took care of her through all of it

*Trigger warning: in this episode we mention attempted assault, marital issues, and suicidal thoughts.

We are so thankful you are taking the time out of your day to listen in to hear Sonja's story! We hope that if you resonate with what we chat about that you would join in on the conversation, leave a review, and share it with your friends that have been through things like this before. We want everyone to know that you are not alone in mistakes, painful experiences, and life lessons.

Welcome to the Moments Matter Podcast

Fri, 04 Feb 2022 10:55:00 -0600

In this space, everyone is invited to chat with mom and daughter as we dive deep into God-honoring, refreshing, and eye-opening conversations about having healthy relationships with your kids as they grow from teenagers to adults... even when it's hard!

Listen in as we chat about the mistakes and wins of life moments from the unique perspective of both empty-nesting mom, Sonja Wallenbeck, and her married, adulting daughter, Julia. We'll cover everything from how to handle the emotional turmoil of watching your teenager get in the driver's seat for the first time, to making every moment an opportunity to cultivate healthy and thriving communication between you and your adult children (*spoiler alert: it starts now!).

So grab a cozy blanket and a cup of coffee and join us as we navigate building relationships with moms and their kids by making every moment matter, together! This is the Moments Matter Podcast.