The part of baby loss we don’t hear enough is what happens to dads when everyone assumes we’re “fine.” This week I speak with my friend, Ross Knight, for a raw conversation about infertility, IVF, miscarriage, and the quiet ways grief shows up in men who are trying to hold everything together.

Ross shares the road from early marriage hopes to the shock of a male factor infertility diagnosis and the stigma that can come with it. We talk about the pressure of fertility treatment, the real cost of IVF, and the painful imbalance many couples face when the wife’s body carries the medical burden even when the fertility issue isn’t hers. Ross also reflects on being a pastor during all of this, managing public responsibilities while suffering in silence at home.

Then hope arrives fast: a positive pregnancy test, early ultrasounds, telling family, and finally letting themselves picture a future. Under COVID restrictions, appointments become harder and lonelier, and one day a string of texts signals that something is wrong. What follows is the moment no parent is prepared for: walking into a room and learning there is no heartbeat. We unpack the aftermath, the DNC decision, the clash of grieving styles in marriage, and the line that changes Ross’s internal world weeks later: “How are you doing with all this?”

If you’ve faced miscarriage, pregnancy loss, infertility, or IVF, this story offers language for what you may not have named yet and a reminder to check on both parents. 

Subscribe for more conversations about fatherhood after loss, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help other dads find the support they’ve been missing.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation. 

Go to dadalways.com for more information. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

"Those Were The Days" & "Young Love" by Nu Alkemi$t

Silence can be louder than any sound you’ve ever heard, and for parents facing stillbirth, that silence doesn’t end when you leave the hospital. Today we hear from David Ryall, a bereaved father living in Australia, sharing the story of his son Daniel (Danya), born in Bali, and the surprising way love can show up right beside shock, grief, and disbelief.

David walks me through the day everything changed at 36 weeks, the moment a home Doppler revealed nothing but quiet, and the rush to a hospital confirmation that no parent is ready for. We talk about the real decisions that come next: induction, pain, recovery, and how to stay present with your partner when your own heart is breaking. He also shares what helped them meet their baby with care, including friends who brought music, midwives who created space, mantras that rose naturally in the room, and the choice to capture photos and videos as memory making after pregnancy loss.

Because this is Dad Always, we name something that often goes unspoken: support for dads after stillbirth. David explains why practical action felt grounding rather than traumatic, how cultural rituals in Bali shaped his acceptance, and why the work of “taking care of my son” didn’t stop after birth. We also explore how sound and silence shape grief, including a nearby newborn they nicknamed the “baby duck,” and how hope for future children can return even in the middle of loss.

If you’re navigating baby loss, supporting a grieving partner, or looking for bereaved father resources, this conversation offers honest companionship and concrete perspective. 

Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more parents can find Dad Always. You can also visit the Dad Always website to explore support options and download the SURVIVE guide, a free resource for dad's navigating baby loss.

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Little Star - the actual rendition on the day of Danya's cremation ceremony in  Bali, sung by his parents and those who love him (obtained with permission from David Ryall, Danya's dad).

Show Music from Soundstripe

If We Could Let Go by Kurtis Parks

Never Let You Go by Emorie

Related Episode:

Parenting Through The Silence (part 1)

Silence can be louder than any sound you’ve ever heard, and for parents facing stillbirth, that silence doesn’t end when you leave the hospital. Today we hear from David Ryall, a bereaved father living in Australia, sharing the story of his son Daniel (Danya), born in Bali, and the surprising way love can show up right beside shock, grief, and disbelief.

David walks me through the day everything changed at 36 weeks, the moment a home Doppler revealed nothing but quiet, and the rush to a hospital confirmation that no parent is ready for. We talk about the real decisions that come next: induction, pain, recovery, and how to stay present with your partner when your own heart is breaking. He also shares what helped them meet their baby with care, including friends who brought music, midwives who created space, mantras that rose naturally in the room, and the choice to capture photos and videos as memory making after pregnancy loss.

Because this is Dad Always, we name something that often goes unspoken: support for dads after stillbirth. David explains why practical action felt grounding rather than traumatic, how cultural rituals in Bali shaped his acceptance, and why the work of “taking care of my son” didn’t stop after birth. We also explore how sound and silence shape grief, including a nearby newborn they nicknamed the “baby duck,” and how hope for future children can return even in the middle of loss.

If you’re navigating baby loss, supporting a grieving partner, or looking for bereaved father resources, this conversation offers honest companionship and concrete perspective. 

Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more parents can find Dad Always. You can also visit the Dad Always website to explore support options and download the SURVIVE guide, a free resource for dad's navigating baby loss.

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

The Waves Are The Ocean by Solitude

When you’ve just heard “there’s no heartbeat,” even a casual “congratulations” can feel like the world is refusing to acknowledge you and the  reality you now inhabit. That  moment is where trust breaks, grief compounds, and dads default to  silence and isolation.

Today I’m joined by Dr. Nina Paidas-Teefey, MFM/Fetal Intervention & Director of Psychosocial Programs at The Institute for Maternal Health Fetal Care Center at Nemours Children's Hospital in Wilmington, DE, to unpack what “loss” really means in pregnancy and baby loss care. We talk about loss as the loss of normal, the loss of the future you expected, and the loss that starts the minute a family gets referred to a fetal center. We also get specific about the ultrasound room experience: the darkness, the waiting, the facial expressions you try to read, and the questions you don’t ask because you’re not sure you’re allowed to.

From repeated miscarriage trauma to the next pregnancy after loss, we explore how partners protect themselves through detachment, how clinicians can return control with simple choices, and why clear language matters when outcomes are uncertain. Dr. Paidas-Teefey also shares what providers carry home, how peer support and debriefing can prevent burnout, and why teams need to be trained not just in medicine but in listening.

Subscribe to Dad Always for more conversations on fatherhood beyond loss, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more dads and families can find support.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a private 20-minute conversation by emailing info@dadalways.com. 

If you want to stay in the loop of what's going on at Dad Always, go to dadalways.com to join the email list to receive updates. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

We Know by Aaron Sprinkle

Going Home by Emorie

Friends by Demure

Grief has a way of burning off the myths we inherit about manhood. When the storm hits, bravado, control, and silence stop working. We open up a candid conversation with John Kammer, a new father who lost three close friends, got sober, and rebuilt his inner life around accountability and honest feeling. His journey led to Guardian [AI]ngels, a structured journaling platform that turns evidence-based grief tasks into a compassionate dialogue, helping users accept the loss, process pain, adjust to a changed life, and integrate the continuing bond without chasing “closure.”

We explore what strength looks like after loss, especially for dads expected to be the rock. Vulnerability has to come first, the way you put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else. John shares the hardest ten minutes of his life—coming clean to his wife—and why asking for help accelerated healing. We talk about modeling emotion for our kids, choosing results over ego, and why running toward the storm can shorten the suffering. Presence beats platitudes, and tears are not a failure of masculinity; they’re proof that love mattered.

Then we take a clear-eyed look at AI for grief work: the pros of access, structure, and deeper reflection; the risks of timing and intensity; and the guardrails that keep users safe—true privacy, crisis links, and optional therapist or family “chaperones.” Guardian [AI]ngels doesn’t replace therapy; it bridges the gaps and builds the sharing muscle so your story can breathe. For fathers navigating child loss or other heartbreaks, we end with three keeps: keep humility, keep talking about your child, and keep opening the door for others to share.

If this conversation moved you, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more grieving dads can find a map through the storm.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a private 20-minute conversation by emailing info@dadalways.com. 

If you want to stay in the loop of what's going on at Dad Always, go to dadalways.com to join the email list to receive updates. 

RELEVANT READS

Grief in the Digital Age: the AI dilemma

The Dead Have Never Been This Talkative

Can Digital Ghosts Help Us Heal?

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Wise As a Serpent by Ghost Beatz

Velox by Isaac Joel

Dreaming of You by Joachim

This week concludes my conversation with Jane Armstrong, LCSW-S, QCSW, PMH-C. Jane is a TFMR & miscarriage mom, a native Texan transplanted in Colorado, & a clinical social worker certified in perinatal mental health. Following the birth & death of her first child, Frankie, through TFMR, Jane opened Both/And Therapy, PPLC to provide therapy & support groups to other TFMR parents. These services provide support around the unique barriers & grief of ending a wanted pregnancy, particularly in states where such care is no longer accessible. She also started her @tfmrsocialworker account on Instagram to raise awareness, reduce stigma, & help TFMR parents to know that they are not alone. She’s passionate about building community, eliminating shame, & honoring grief for TFMR families everywhere.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:
• survival mode, control, and turning to faith
• visible pregnancy while grieving and the harm of small talk
• legal fear, isolation, and engineered loneliness
• reasons families may end a nonviable pregnancy
• sacrifice myths, parental health, and competing needs
• loss hierarchies and why comparison harms
• language, stigma, and finding community
• continuing bonds and everyday rituals for memory
• resources for TFMR parents and dad-specific spaces

RELATED EPISODES:

E7: Grief, Choice, & Parenting After Loss (part 1)

BLAW 2025: Talking Platitudes with Miscarriage Mumma Support

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a private 20-minute conversation by emailing info@dadalways.com. 

If you want to stay in the loop of what's going on at Dad Always, go to dadalways.com to join the email list to receive updates. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Alone in the Light by Great Oaks

This week's guest is Jane Armstrong, LCSW-S, QCSW, PMH-C. Jane is a TFMR & miscarriage mom, a native Texan transplanted in Colorado, & a clinical social worker certified in perinatal mental health. Following the birth & death of her first child, Frankie, through TFMR, Jane opened Both/And Therapy, PPLC to provide therapy & support groups to other TFMR parents. These services provide support around the unique barriers & grief of ending a wanted pregnancy, particularly in states where such care is no longer accessible. She also started her @tfmrsocialworker account on Instagram to raise awareness, reduce stigma, & help TFMR parents to know that they are not alone. She’s passionate about building community, eliminating shame, & honoring grief for TFMR families everywhere.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• defining TFMR and why words matter
• how laws and timelines limit medical care
• the shock and silence of a hard ultrasound
• diagnosis details and the Google spiral
• different coping styles inside a marriage
• hope, miracle language, and faith tensions
• the myth of control in family building
• grief, isolation, and finding support

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a private 20-minute conversation by emailing info@dadalways.com. 

If you want to stay in the loop of what's going on at Dad Always, go to dadalways.com to join the email list to receive updates. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Life In Slow Motion by Adam Agin

Ghostly Trails by Alsever Lake

Some moments break language and redraw our lives in an instant. "Dear Brother" is a raw, compassionate letter to men grieving the death of their child—a message that refuses easy answers and hollow comfort, and instead offers steady presence, honest words, and space to breathe. It highlights the questions that echo after loss—Why did this happen? Could anything have changed it?—and why resisting quick explanations can be an act of deep respect for love and grief alike.

The letter examines how unhelpful platitudes can wound, even when well meant, and what truly supportive language sounds like. It explores practical ways to hold space: 

• Naming the reality without fixing it 
• Checking in without pressure, and 
• Showing up with specific, tangible help

The letter leans on the Kintsugi metaphor—the art of repairing broken pottery with gold—not to gloss over pain, but to honor how identity can be reshaped by absence, and how fractures can become part of a life that still holds beauty, purpose, and meaning.

Most importantly, "Dear Brother" gives grieving dads permission to linger in the dark. Grief has no timetable; sometimes the kindest act is to sit silently beside someone who cannot yet face the day. The letter promises presence even when words fail, and imagines a future in which memory softens from flame to light—the child’s light—guiding, not erasing, what came before. 

If you or someone you love is navigating profound loss, this letter offers language, empathy, and practices that keep dignity at the center. If it resonates, share it with a friend who needs gentleness today, subscribe for more thoughtful episodes, and leave a review to help others find this space.

This is part 2 of my conversation with Michael Elliot. We resume from where we left off last week, and explore fatherhood after miscarriage through vivid memories, tangible rituals, and the everyday courage it takes to speak a child’s name that few got to meet. Grief is framed as love that changed color, sustained by community, storytelling, and symbols that keep a bond alive.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:
• the last of firsts and unrealized milestones
• identity as a dad after loss
• bracelets, tattoos, and wind chimes as anchors
• grief as a continuation of love
• breaking the silence and reducing stigma
• better questions for supporting grieving parents
• community care during and after a loss
• returning to work and navigating awkward spaces
• choosing to move forward, not move on

RELATED EPISODES

• Who Gets To Grieve When A Baby Dies? (part 1)
• The Elephant In The Room
• Reimagining Life After Loss

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, request a private 20-minute conversation by emailing info@dadalways.com. 

If you want to stay in the loop of what's going on at Dad Always, go to dadalways.com to join the email list to receive updates. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Love Poems by Lunareh

Time Shift by Reveille

In part 1 of my conversation with Michael Elliot, we trace Michael’s path from early joy and provider pressure to the ultrasound room where a missed heartbeat rewrote his future. He unpacks stoicism, the awkward retraction of public joy, and why men’s grief after baby loss must be seen, named, and supported.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:
• fear and motivation colliding during early pregnancy
• provider identity shaping choices and silence
• the ultrasound shock and immediate emotional response
• first private breakdown and redefining support
• telling people, then retracting joy online
• connection through shared miscarriage stories
• dads being asked about mom but not themselves
• first-year milestones
• men’s grief as valid and visible
• honoring both parents in baby loss

SUPPORT

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, request a private 20-minute conversation by emailing info@dadalways.com. 

If you want to stay in the loop of what's going on at Dad Always, go to dadalways.com to join the email list to receive updates. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Apple Brandy by Midnight Daydream

Azul by Lunareh

Grief doesn’t hand out uniforms, but our systems still dress dads in silence. Gabriela Rosa joins the podcast to spotlight the missing half of fertility care and the very real ways men carry loss—often without acknowledgment, language, or a place to stand. From first ultrasounds to failed transfers, the default model treats women as the patient and men as the waiting room, and families pay for that gap with confusion and mounting shame.

Gabriela Rosa is a Harvard-trained fertility specialist and founder of the world’s first fully virtual fertility clinic. She has spent over two decades walking couples through the most fragile moments of their reproductive journeys - including loss. In her work with thousands of families across the globe, one thing has become painfully clear: men are grieving too, but almost no one is giving them space to talk about it. 

Gabriela walks us through a smarter, kinder approach: lead with diagnostics, not assumptions. She breaks down why most IVF cycles fail, where “unexplained” infertility hides solvable causes, and how overlooked factors can drive implantation failure and miscarriage. You’ll hear a powerful case study where years of failed IUIs and IVF turned into a natural conception once both partners were fully assessed and treated. The message is clear: fertility is a team sport, and strategy beats trial-and-error.

We also get practical about communication at home. We talk about pacing heavy talks, naming limits, and rebuilding self-trust after loss, especially for men taught to stay strong and say little. Along the way, we share scripts that replace platitudes with presence, and we point to resources—peer groups for men, evidence-based testing, and Gabriela’s Fertility Challenge Program—that make support real.

If you’ve felt invisible in the fertility journey, or you’re tired of guessing your way through heartbreak, this conversation offers a map.

Subscribe, share with someone who needs to feel seen, and leave a review telling us one question you’ll bring to your next conversation.

If you want to stay in the loop of what's going on at Dad Always, go to dadalways.com to join the email list to receive updates. 

Credits

Fertility Breakthrough (website)

Gabriela Rosa (profile)

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

• Wander
• So Tell Me

By EILOH

On today's episode, Matt Whitehouse retraces the day his daughter Callie died, how grief transformed his identity, and how the right type of communication, counseling, and community helped him rebuild. He shares why he now supports bereaved dads and how a daily 10K run in 2026 honors Callie’s tenth birthday.

Key Takeaways:
• Lily Mae Foundation and Still Parents Podcast
• The hospital day that changed everything
• Powerlessness and the shock after loss
• Identity split before and after grief
• Communication as a lifeline for dads
• How friendships shift and mature
• Turning pain into purpose and service
• Planning a 10K-a-day tribute in 2026
• Early progress update and lessons learned

RELALTED EPISODES

• Still Parents: Grief, Identity, & Purpose
• Talking Platitudes With Still Parents Podcast (2025 BLAW mini series)

If you want to stay in the loop of what's going on at Dad Always, go to dadalways.com to join the email list to receive updates. 

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Azalea by Ghost Beatz

Ignorance Is Bliss by Liberty

Yesterday, I Lost A Day by GLASWING

Imagination by PALA

In this episode of Dad Always, host Kelly Jean-Philippe shares the story behind “Love Letter,” the theme song for the podcast.

Through personal reflection, Kelly explores how poetry became his first language for emotion, how grief after four miscarriage losses silenced that voice, and how it eventually found its way back. He speaks openly about love, loss, guilt, anger, and the lasting impact of a daughter he never got to raise—but will always carry.

This episode is an intimate reflection on grief, fatherhood, and the enduring bond between dads and their children after baby loss. It’s also an invitation to listen—to our emotions, to our grief, and to the love that remains.

“Love Letter,” the theme song for Dad Always, was created using AI as a creative tool, with original lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Content note: This episode includes personal discussion of miscarriage and pregnancy loss.

Dad Always opens with a clear promise: this is a home for fathers and families carrying baby loss, where grief does not need to be defended and love is allowed to last. 

We share five core beliefs, outline the formats to come, and introduce the story behind the theme song, "Love Letter" (more in Episode 2).

Key takeaways:
• who this space is for and why it exists
• how baby loss reshapes identity and fatherhood
• five core beliefs that guide every conversation

1. dads grieve deeply, even when we grieve quietly
2. being a dad is about more than having a living child
3. strength includes asking for and accepting support
4. meaning and pain can exist side by side
5. dads never need to justify or explain their grief

• what to expect from interviews, reflections, and crafted episodes
• practical care and permission to move at your own pace

“Love Letter,” the theme song for Dad Always, was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Four words can slice through a tender moment of grief: “At least it was” (now, fill in the blank). We’ve heard it, we’ve felt the sting, and we wanted to unpack why platitudes show up so easily—especially around miscarriage—and what to say (and not say) when someone you love is hurting. Sophie from Miscarriage Mumma Support joins us again to explore the complex reality of baby loss, the social pressure to “look on the bright side,” and the deeper work of choosing presence over pat answers.

We talk about why people reach for platitudes in the first place: discomfort, fear, and the reflex to fix what can’t be fixed. Together, we examine the false hierarchy of loss that pits experiences against each other, and we share how separating spaces—loss, trying after loss, pregnancy after loss—can actually reduce comparison and increase care. You’ll hear concrete language swaps, gentle questions that open a door instead of closing one, and simple ways to show up that don’t require a solution: sitting in silence, remembering dates, checking in after the initial shock fades.

This conversation also looks at the “good vibes only” mindset and how it slips into support as quick tips and toxic positivity. We reflect on cultural habits that push activity over acknowledgment—from pep talks to one-size-fits-all “fixes”—and why real healing starts with being witnessed. If you’ve ever struggled with what to say, or if platitudes have left you feeling unseen, this episode offers a compassionate, practical framework: get comfortable being uncomfortable, ask better questions, and let people lead their own stories.

If this resonated, share it with someone who wants to support better, subscribe for future conversations, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your voice helps change the way we show up for grief.

Related Episodes:

• E14: The Unspoken Agony of Life after Multiple Miscarriages (ft. Miscarriage Mumma Support - part 4)
• E18: Doing Right by Grief (ft. Miscarriage Mumma Support)

Visit Miscarriage Mumma for more information and resources. 

Show Music from Soundstripe:

• Vinyl Glow by Joachim
• East London by Nu Alkemi$t
• Nowhere Left To Turn by Ghost Beatz
• Caesura by Hale (theme)

A lot of people want to help—and end up reaching for the worst sentence in the English language: “Everything happens for a reason.” We go straight at the hard stuff with the hosts of the Still Parents podcast, unpacking why platitudes land like a slap, how they fuel self‑doubt for grieving parents, and what real support sounds like when words fall short. Along the way, we share the story behind Still Parents—born in lockdown, built on honest conversation, and now recognized with nominations at the British Podcast Awards—and why that visibility matters for dads who are told to “man up” instead of speak up.

Together We Care becomes more than a theme as we compare emotional pain to physical pain, explore the long tail of grief after baby loss, and underline how presence beats quick fixes every time. We talk intent versus impact, faith and friction, and the small unspectacular acts that mean everything: a hot meal, a late‑night answer, a friend who listens without trying to solve. Think of grief like a museum where the bereaved is the tour guide; your job is to follow their lead. No timetables. No reasons. Just respect for a love that didn’t end.

If you’ve ever wondered what to say to a grieving parent—or feared saying the wrong thing—this conversation offers practical language, grounded empathy, and permission to choose silence over cliché. Listen, share with someone who needs it, and if this resonated, subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what words of care have helped you most?

Related Episode:

• E38: Still Parents - Grief, Identity, & Purpose (ft. Still Parents Podcast)
• E15: When Faith Falters in the Face of Miscarriage (ft. Chris Cheatham)
• E16: Cliché-anity: When Consolation Becomes Controversy (ft. Mary)

Listen to the Still Parents Podcast here

Show Music from Soundstripe:

• Daybreak by Ghost Beatz
• Penn Station by Ghost Beatz
• Collaverating by Sam Barsh
• Caesura by Hale (theme)

Welcome to the Narrative Series, a poetic frame exploring a father's perspective of pregnancy and pregnancy loss.

What happens when grief meets love on Father's Day? This poignant episode features a heart-wrenching letter written from the perspective of an unborn child to their father. The raw emotions capture both the devastating loss and the enduring connection that remains after pregnancy loss.

"From the very first time you thought of me and loved me, I felt it," the letter begins, immediately immersing us in the profound bond that forms even before birth. Through gentle, innocent language, we experience the child acknowledging their father's pain while offering a unique perspective on their shared connection. The letter beautifully articulates how love transcends physical presence: "You just loved me before you even saw me and that's the best gift ever."

For fathers navigating the complex emotions of pregnancy loss, this episode offers a tender framework for understanding grief as an extension of love. The letter doesn't shy away from difficult emotions, acknowledging the pain of missed milestones and Father's Day celebrations. Yet it also provides comfort in the idea that the relationship continues in a different form: "I live in your heart... like a little whisper of our love that was there and will always be there."

Have you experienced the invisible bonds that remain after loss? If this message resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need these words of comfort today. Remember that acknowledging grief is a powerful step toward healing, and that love persists even when physical presence cannot.

CONTACT
info@dadalways.com

INSTAGRAM
@_dadalways
@themiscarriagedads

Dad Always is the community you don't know you need.

Narrated by: Julius'Camillo Jean-Philippe

Script by: Kelly Jean-Philippe

Music: First Light by Half Measure

From Soundstripe

Welcome to the Narrative Series, a poetic frame exploring the father's perspective of pregnancy and pregnancy loss experience.

Often times during a bereavement, the dad's experience of loss is drastically different than that of the mother.

A study titled, “Men’s grief following pregnancy loss and neonatal loss: a systematic review and emerging theoretical model” published in January 2020 found, “… that in comparison to women, men may face different challenges including expectations to support female partners, and a lack of social recognition for their grief and subsequent needs. Men may face double-disenfranchised grief in relation to the pregnancy/neonatal loss experience.”

The Journal of Neonatal Nursing (vol 29, Issue 3) published another study June 2023 titled “Father’s Perception of the NICU Experience” which states that: “Research has revealed that more than 50% of NICU fathers experience feelings of inadequate emotional support and a lack of essential information regarding caring for their premature infants. Fathers reported that frequently, healthcare workers tend to approach the mother when discussing prognosis and determining medical decisions, which makes the fathers feel like an observer and not an active participant in their infant's care. These experiences caused the fathers to feel helpless, in the way, and excluded, which can add to the father's distress.” 

Overall, these studies only begin to scratch the surface of the multifaceted issues complicating fathers' disenfranchisement in hospital settings and during a bereavements. 

If you're a bereaved dad struggling with your loss (miscarriage, stillbirth, any neonatal) and want to discover your strength in grief, send an email to the address or a DM to either of the accounts below. 

CONTACT
info@dadalways.com

INSTAGRAM
@_dadalways
@themiscarriagedads

Dad Always is the community you don't know you need.

Narrated by: Kelly Jean-Philippe

Music: Every Part Of You by Solitude

From: Podcastle.ai

Welcome to the Narrative Series, a poetic frame exploring the father's perspective of pregnancy and pregnancy loss experience.

Narrated by: Kelly Jean-Philippe

Music: Cosmic Oceans by Caleb Etheridge

From: Podcastle.ai

LICENCE #: QFWRAL6SHKWJJNYF

Hello!

This week's episode recalls the conversation we had in episode 14 with Sophie, founder of Miscarriage Mumma Support, in March 3, 2024. We hope you find listening to this episode again as helpful as we've experienced it to be for us.

For more information visit www.miscarriagemumma.com.

To connect with Kelly and Chris:

Email
themiscarriagedad@gmail.com

Instagram
@themiscarriagedad
@miscarriage_support_for_dads

Also, make sure you subscribe to our podcast & write us a review!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

Hello!

Due to the upcoming holiday season, Chris and Kelly are taking a break until after the new year. In the meantime, we hope you find value in listening to some of the earlier episodes rereleased, and browse through our catalogue to find other conversations that may be helpful to what you're currently experiencing.

Here are a few ways you can contact us during this break:
Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com

Instagram:
@themiscarriagedad
@miscarriage_support_for_dads

Wishing you a safe and meaningful end to 2024!

Sincerely,
Chris & Kelly

Make sure you subscribe!
Write us a review!

Welcome to episode 37!

Chari Pere and Eli Schiff, the creative duo behind the groundbreaking Unspoken Series are this week's guests on the Miscarriage Dads podcast. Chari, a cartoonist, and Eli, a voice actor and director, open up about how their personal experiences with miscarriage have driven them to create comics and animations that resonate with those facing similar challenges, ultimately fostering a community of empathy and understanding.

Reflecting on the emotional whirlwind of loss and the tough decisions that follow, Chari and Eli share their story of navigating the heartbreaking reality when a seemingly healthy pregnancy took an unexpected turn. They recount the difficulties of managing these emotions while being apart, highlighting the unique struggle of maintaining religious observances amidst such turmoil. Their candid discussion reveals the often-overlooked impact of miscarriage on men, underscoring the need for supportive outlets for fathers who grieve alongside their partners.

Tune in as we explore the broader implications of miscarriage and the importance of open communication. The episode delves into society's need to recognize the emotional toll on both partners and the critical role of community support. Chari and Eli also share insights into the evolution of their Cartoonmentary series, discussing future projects that promise to cover a wide range of sensitive topics. Be inspired by their mission to break the silence and provide solace through storytelling for those navigating the often-hidden struggles of reproductive health.

Sincerely,
Kelly

Instagram:
@themiscarriagedad
@miscarriage_support_for_dads

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Links:
Cartoonmentary Series: https://www.youtube.com/@UnspokenCartoonmentary

Welcome to episode 36!

This episode shines a spotlight on the brave voices behind the UK-based Still Parents Podcast, as they share their endeavors to create a space for fathers grappling with the grief of miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal loss. From the profound silence of grief to the audible laughter that helps heal, we discuss the unbroken bond of parenthood despite the silence of loss.

Ryan, Matt, and Dan candidly discuss the challenges men face when expressing grief. We explore the shifting landscape of support for bereaved fathers, shedding light on the essential role of humor in addressing such profound pain. The Lily Mae Foundation's heartfelt mission, born from tragedy, is highlighted, illustrating how collective experiences strengthen communities of support for grieving parents.

We also reflect on the impact of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, sharing real stories that underline the importance of empathy and understanding. This episode promises to offer insights and strength for anyone supporting or experiencing such profound loss. Celebrate with us the resilience and dedication of those who turn their grief into a beacon of hope, fostering connections that transcend borders and time.

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

Instagram:
@themiscarriagedad
@miscarriage_support_for_dads

Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Welcome to episode 35!

One year ago, we began a conversation that was long overdue—a conversation that illuminated the often-overlooked journey of fathers experiencing miscarriage. This episode marks a meaningful milestone for The Miscarriage Dads Podcast as we reflect on the powerful stories and connections forged over the past year. We promise you'll gain a deeper understanding of the emotional and societal challenges surrounding pregnancy and infant loss, and how acknowledging these experiences can foster a sense of belonging among men who have felt isolated in their grief.

Imagine facing a loss often shrouded in silence and stigma, yet finding strength in shared stories and community. Our discussion contrasts the visibility of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month with more recognized causes, emphasizing the critical need for empathy and dialogue. Through personal anecdotes and societal observations, we challenge the silence that surrounds miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. We aim to create a supportive and informed space that encourages healing and understanding, breaking down barriers that have kept these topics in the shadows for far too long.

We also tackle the complexities surrounding miscarriage in today's political landscape. From the emotional turmoil of spontaneous miscarriages to the nuances of healthcare access across state lines, we discuss the urgent need for comprehensive women's healthcare rights. By addressing misconceptions and encouraging open, empathetic dialogue, we hope to empower individuals navigating family planning amid uncertainties. 

Join us as we look forward to another year of transformative conversations, shedding light on the profound impact of these experiences and supporting bereaved parents on their journey to healing and hope.

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

Instagram:
@themiscarriagedad
@miscarriage_support_for_dads

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Welcome to episode 34!

This week, we have the privilege of speaking with Osei Daniels, a devoted youth pastor from Washington DC. Osei and his wife have faced multiple miscarriages, complicated further by her PCOS diagnosis. Osei's candid revelations highlight the often-silent struggle men endure and the necessity of creating spaces where they can express their grief and support their partners through these difficult times.

In this heartfelt conversation, we delve into the complexities of the infertility journey, from the emotional toll of IVF to the silent battles of guilt and shame men experience. Osei shares his unwavering commitment to his marriage, regardless of their ability to have children, underscoring the importance of mutual support and open communication. The discussion extends to cultural pressures that discourage men from showing vulnerability, with a particular focus on the unique challenges faced by Black men. By embracing vulnerability and seeking professional help, Osei illustrates how men can navigate the grief of losing an imagined future and redefine their identities meaningfully.

We explore the profound grief fathers face after a miscarriage, often mourning the loss of their envisioned identity as parents. Through intimate discussions, we emphasize the necessity of processing this grief to avoid emotional stagnation and find new sources of joy and purpose. This episode is a poignant reminder that how we respond to disappointment shapes our growth and resilience. Whether you are a father, a partner, or a supporter, this conversation offers invaluable insights into the emotional journey through miscarriage and the transformative power of vulnerability and emotional honesty.

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

Instagram:
@themiscarriagedad
@miscarriage_support_for_dads

Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Hello! This short episode is to share the following updates:

As we inch closer to the first anniversary of the Miscarriage Dads podcast, we look back on an incredible journey of shared grief, healing, and community building. We're inviting you to share your story of specific ways this podcast has benefited you these past 12 months at themiscarriagedad@gmail.com for us to share with our larger TMDs community.

We're also looking to highlight the importance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and are inviting you to share how you're raising awareness in your own communities (themiscarriagedad@gmail.com).

We're excited to introduce Miscarriage Support for Dads, a groundbreaking resource [more to come!] aimed at providing comprehensive emotional support tailored specifically for men. Discover how this new service will equip dads with tools to navigate their unique experiences of loss, build resilience, and communicate effectively with their partners. Visit www.miscarriagedads.com to stay updated on the launch and subscribe to our YouTube and Instagram pages.

Thank you for your unwavering support over the past year, and we look forward to another year of meaningful conversations and community growth. If you have topics or stories to share, reach out to us at themiscarriagedad@gmail.com.

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

Welcome to episode 33!

How does society's expectation to "just get back to it" hinder men's ability to grieve? This episode of Miscarriage Dads opens with a powerful reflection on the societal pressures that often compel men to suppress their emotions during times of loss. We explore the differing ways men and women process miscarriage, featuring a poignant story of a father struggling with his expectations versus his wife's need for solitude.

Navigating the emotional labyrinth of miscarriage can take a significant toll on relationships. We reflect on the haunting echoes of past relationships and the elusive journey toward closure. A crucial focus is placed on the husband's role in supporting his wife through such trauma, emphasizing the challenge of providing care when one feels emotionally drained. By sharing these intimate experiences, we highlight the importance of empathy, mutual understanding, and effective communication in sustaining strong family bonds amidst the turmoil of loss.

Finally, we delve into the strength found in male camaraderie and support. Discussing the impact of multiple miscarriages, I share my own journey of dealing with repeated loss and the evolving ways I learned to support my wife and friends facing similar hardships. This episode underscores the transformative power of vulnerability and the need for men to reach out and connect with each other. Our conversations aim to foster a stronger sense of community, helping us all become better fathers, husbands, and individuals through the shared journey of coping with loss.

Sincerely,
Kelly

Instagram:
@themiscarriagedad
@miscarriage_support_for_dads

Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Show Music
Many Worlds & Just Drive by Memory Theory
Like Water On A Glass Table by GLASWING

Welcome to episode 32!

This week I am re-releasing a conversation first aired on the Welcome To Fatherhood podcast where, along with Alex Ortiz, Jeff Collins, and Augusta Foster, we explore our own emotional journeys dealing with the profound loss of our children to miscarriage. Through raw and heartfelt stories, we uncover the deep impact miscarriage has on fathers, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability and providing a space for men to share their experiences openly. This episode is a testament to the strength found in shared sorrow and the resilience fathers show in balancing loss and joy.

From reflections on raising children while grappling with the memory of a miscarriage, to the bittersweet moments of welcoming a new child amidst grief, we paint a vivid picture of the multifaceted nature of fatherhood along this journey. We discuss societal and familial pressures, personal failures, and the daunting expectations men face in their roles as providers and protectors. Augusta Foster’s poignant narrative about the struggle to reconcile faith with life’s unpredictability adds another layer to understanding the emotional labyrinth of miscarriage.

In our candid conversation, we delve into the emotional burden of being the primary support in a family, the pressures of fulfilling personal and societal expectations, and the significance of genuine connections in coping with loss. Listen as we discuss the importance of community support, the need for sincere gestures of kindness, and the challenges men face in expressing grief. Through our stories, we aim to offer comfort and a sense of solidarity to anyone navigating the complex emotions tied to miscarriage and fatherhood.

Sincerely,
Kelly

Instagram: @themiscarriagedad
Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Show Music
Do Do Do Do Not by Fantoms
Polymath & Many Worlds by Memory Theory

Welcome to episode 31!

Have you ever felt the weight of a loss that the people around you don't fully recognize? In this episode, Chris and Kelly  unearth the complexities of ambiguous loss from their limited understanding of the category. Inspired by Pauline Boss's powerful insights from "Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief" and Rich Oswald's "Unnamed Pain: Coping with Ambiguous Loss", this episode sheds light on the unique grief fathers face following a miscarriage—a grief that often remains unacknowledged and unresolved.

Our conversation dives deep into the societal shortcomings that leave grieving fathers without the support they need. Miscarriage disrupts the traditional grieving process, lacking the usual rituals and communal recognition that help in processing loss. Together, we discuss how crucial it is to validate this type of grief and offer practical ways for friends, family, and colleagues to provide meaningful support. From naming the lost child to creating personal rituals, we explore ways to bring comfort and closure to those affected.

Finally, we focus on the importance of community and professional support for grieving fathers. From grief counselors to support groups, we highlight resources that can provide the much-needed validation and understanding. Non-linear grieving is emphasized, reminding us that healing doesn't follow a set path. By sharing coping strategies and personal reflections, we aim to create a safe space where fathers can find solace and support. 

Tune in for heartfelt advice and practical suggestions on navigating this profound loss, and learn how to better support fathers through their journey of grief.

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

Instagram: @themiscarriagedad
Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Episodes Referenced:

E14: The Unspoken Agony of Life after Multiple Miscarriages (ft. Miscarriage Mumma Support)
E18: Doing Right By Grief (ft. Miscarriage Mumma Support)
E26: A Nightmare Realized: The Surprise of Pregnancy & The Devastation of Miscarriage (ft. Elspeth Edmonds)
E30: Navigating Guilt & Shame After Miscarriage (ft. Chanel Wainscott)

Welcome to episode 30!

How do men really feel after a miscarriage, and why do their stories often go unheard? In this episode of the Miscarriage Dads Podcast, I am joined by Chanel Wainscott, a psychotherapist specializing in perinatal mental health, to unravel these complex emotions. Chanel's journey into this field is deeply personal, sparked by her own postpartum challenges that led her to wonder about her husband's silent struggles. Together, we emphasize the critical importance of acknowledging men's emotional responses to miscarriage to foster healing and connection within families.

Men often face profound guilt, sadness, and fear after a miscarriage, but these feelings are frequently overshadowed by societal expectations of traditional masculinity. Chanel and I dissect the multifaceted emotional landscape men navigate, highlighting the importance of nonjudgmental observation and validation. We explore practical steps for men to reorient themselves mentally, such as mindful observation and practicing non-judgmental awareness, and discuss how sharing their stories can counteract the isolating effects of shame.

Balancing personal grief while supporting a partner is a delicate act. In our conversation, we address how men can manage their guilt and privilege, the struggle of engaging in self-care, and the necessity of open communication and self-compassion.

This episode is a tribute to the enduring impact of loss and the journey towards emotional healing and connection.

Sincerely,
Kelly

Instagram: @themiscarriagedad
Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Who is Chanel Wainscott?

Chanel Wainscott is a licensed psychotherapist (Qualifying) in Ontario, Canada, specializing in perinatal mental health, with a particular focus on supporting postpartum fathers. She is passionate about validating and sharing the stories of postpartum fathers, advocating for their needs with confidence, and ensuring their voices are heard. Combining expertise in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT), Chanel helps new parents navigate the challenges of postpartum life, including mood and anxiety disorders. Chanel is also committed to gaining more knowledge and developing compassionate, practical skills to support men who have experienced miscarriage. Additionally, Chanel collaborates with postpartum doulas to offer psychotherapy services that emphasize the mental well-being of both mothers and fathers during this critical period.

Instagram: @carecultivator
Web: www.carecultivator.ca
Email: info@carecultivator.ca

Welcome to episode 29!

How do fathers cope with the invisible grief of miscarriage? Joined by David Bradley, a chaplain with a rich background in the arts, we explore the emotional and psychological journey of fathers experiencing miscarriage. David opens up about his personal story from 1997, recounting the initial joy of discovering a pregnancy, followed by the sudden heartbreak of loss. It's a poignant memory when his identity was transformed by the news of impending fatherhood, only to be shattered by miscarriage. We delve into the complexities of communicating this loss to family and colleagues, the struggle to find language for such an invisible grief, and the solace found in shared narratives and supportive conversations. The episode underscores how the non-linear nature of grief can be navigated through open communication and compassion.

We also examine the profound impact of storytelling and societal expectations on our understanding of parenting and miscarriage. From the concept of "ambiguous loss" to the unique emotional tolls faced by fathers and mothers, this conversation with David Bradley sheds light on the necessity of empathy and patience. We share personal anecdotes and reflections, emphasizing the importance of integrating grief into daily life and finding moments of both sorrow and joy.

Ultimately, this episode is a heartfelt call for creating spaces where fathers can openly discuss their grief and experiences, fostering healing and resilience through compassionate conversation.

Sincerely,
Kelly

Instagram: @themiscarriagedad
Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Welcome to episode 28!

After facing a devastating miscarriage, Elspeth returns to share her raw, heartfelt experience and the silent battles that follow such a loss. Struggling with her self-confidence, Elspeth's story highlights the invisible grief that many women endure. We reflect on how sudden waves of mourning can catch us off guard and discuss the complex emotions tied to unfulfilled dreams and expectations.

This episode shines a light on the intimate, often unspoken struggles women face during and after a miscarriage. We emphasize the necessity of understanding and compassion in relationships, the healing power of open conversations, and the challenges of discussing deeply personal feelings. By sharing stories of vulnerability, whether through the bravery of a sports personality or our own narratives, we underscore the importance of support and communication in navigating such profound loss. 

Join us as we embrace the strength found in vulnerability and the solace of shared stories.

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

Instagram: @themiscarriagedad
Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Welcome to episode 27!

How do you reclaim intimacy after the heartbreak of a miscarriage? Our latest episode tackles this deeply personal and often overlooked topic, offering insights and support for couples navigating this challenging journey. We begin by addressing the emotional and physical toll a miscarriage can have on women, including feelings of guilt and a diminished sense of self-worth. We'll explore the critical role men play in providing patience and emotional support, and how mutual communication can help rebuild the connection between partners.

The episode also delves into the emotional complexities of trying to conceive post-miscarriage. Our conversation highlights how couples can retain mutual respect and love, even when faced with the anxiety and fears of another potential loss.

Finally, we explore practical ways to support and care for your partner to maintain intimacy and connection. From small gestures like a spa day to meaningful conversations and simply being present, we offer actionable advice for couples. We emphasize that true intimacy involves recognizing and honoring each other's emotions and experiences, rather than just fulfilling physical desires.

Join us for a heartfelt discussion that underscores the importance of understanding, communication, and emotional intimacy in strengthening relationships after loss.

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

Instagram: @themiscarriagedad
Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Welcome to episode 26!

Miscarriage, pregnancy anxiety, and baby loss—topics often shrouded in silence and stigma. What happens when your lifelong dream of motherhood is met with the harsh reality of a miscarriage? Elspeth, an actress from London, joins me to share her deeply personal journey through these challenges. From societal pressures to the psychological toll that comes with health uncertainties, we navigate the emotional landscape that many women endure.

The early stages of pregnancy are a whirlwind of joy and trepidation. Elspeth shares her story of anticipation, the significance of the 12-week milestone, and the anxiety that accompanies every bodily change in a period of wait. We touch on the gut-wrenching moments when ultrasound expectations clash with harsh realities, painting a raw picture of what so many expectant parents face.

Heartbreak is profound, especially when it involves the loss of a child. We open up about the importance of validating one's feelings and the necessity of open communication during such critical times. From naming our lost child to acknowledging the complex nature of emotional and practical support from loved ones, this episode aims to normalize conversations around miscarriage and baby loss. Through our collective stories, we hope to offer solace and a sense of community to those walking a similar path.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

Instagram: @themiscarriagedad
Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Welcome to episode 25!

How do you cope with a miscarriage when it feels like you're supposed to be the strong one, but inside, you're falling apart? Or when you look across at your partner, and she appears to be handling it better than you? This episode promises to share some insights into navigating such a difficult time.

We dive deep into the struggle of seeking emotional support as men, especially when it feels like our partners have more tools and community resources at their disposal. Chris and I discuss how mutual unspoken efforts to protect each other emotionally can lead to unintended isolation, and the crucial role of honest conversations in breaking this cycle.

Finally, we tackle the often-taboo topic of miscarriage head-on, emphasizing the importance of creating a safe space for these challenging conversations. Through consistent dialogue, whether writing down feelings or seeking advice from friends, we hope to foster a better understanding and support system within intimate relationships and the broader community. By sharing these practices, we aim to break the silence and societal taboo surrounding miscarriage, helping others to heal and support each other more effectively.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

Instagram: @themiscarriagedad
Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Welcome to episode 24!

Kristen and Patrick Riecke, authors and bereavement consultants, share their personal journey through loss and their mission to support others facing similar experiences. In October 2000, they endured the loss of their son, Stephen Daniel, due to a second-trimester miscarriage. Since then, they have dedicated their lives to walking alongside hundreds of other loss parents, offering empathy and practical guidance.
Their story challenges the conventional terms like "stuck" and "move on," advocating instead for the integration of Stephen's memory into their daily lives. Together, they authored the book "No Matter How Small: Understanding Miscarriage and Stillbirth," providing a beacon of practical advice and comfort for others navigating similar heartaches.

Patrick brings a much-needed perspective to the conversation, shedding light on the silent struggles men face in expressing grief. Using poignant anecdotes, he reveals the generational silence that often surrounds men's suffering after miscarriage and stillbirth. We discuss the importance of breaking these barriers and creating spaces where men feel safe to share their pain. Their experiences, both shocking and transformative, have led the couple to become advocates in healthcare spaces dedicated to supporting others through similar losses.

To further support grieving families, Kristen has compiled an extensive list of resources available on her website. From fiction books to podcasts, they offer diverse ways to engage with the topic of miscarriage and stillbirth. This episode underscores the necessity for comprehensive support systems for both parents, aligning with historical shifts in childbirth practices, and emphasizes the role of digital advancements in making help more accessible. Join us to gain insights and find comfort through the wisdom and experiences shared by Kristen and Patrick Riecke. Whether you are navigating your own grief journey or supporting others, this episode offers valuable perspectives and resources.

To connect with Kristen and Patrick

• Kristen Instagram: @nomatterhowsmallbook
• No Matter How Small Facebook: Kristen Riecke NMHS Book
• Kristen LinkedIn: Kristen Riecke
• Patrick LinkedIn: Patrick Riecke
• YouTube: Patrick Riecke

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

Instagram: @themiscarriagedad
Email: themiscarriagedad@gmail.com
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Welcome to episode 23!

Navigating Father’s Day after experiencing a miscarriage is a journey fraught with complex emotions. Imagine the heartache of balancing the joy of being a present father with the sorrow of losing a child, or the agony of wishing someone a "Happy Father's Day" as you're struggling to become a father. Chris and I share our stories, contrasting the grief we felt before and after welcoming our living children. We provide a candid look at the struggle of facing Father’s Day, hoping to normalize these feelings and offer a supportive space for other dads in similar situations.

The episode doesn't shy away from the feeling of emptiness and fraudulence that can accompany a miscarriage, particularly on days meant for celebration. We discuss how societal expectations of happiness often clash with personal grief, leading to feelings of guilt and helplessness. One father’s story of losing his newborn to an unforeseen infection highlights the innate responsibility fathers feel to protect their children, and the heartbreak when they cannot, despite their best efforts. Our conversation underscores the importance of acknowledging and validating these emotions.

We close with an emphasis on the enduring aspects of fatherhood that persist even in the absence of a child. Through heartfelt anecdotes, we explore love, memories, and dreams tied to our lost children, and encourage grieving fathers to honor their memories. Healing is a personal journey, and it’s essential to recognize that despite the physical absence, the bond between a father and his child remains unbroken. Join us as we validate these emotions and affirm the lasting connection shared with our children, living or not.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to this mid-week episode!

As we're inching closer to Father's Day (Sunday, June 16, 2024), I thought it would be helpful to address the elephant in the room when it comes to our experience as loss dads.

Here are some tips to implement:

1. Keep an open mind. The story you're creating in your head about how the day will turn out is simply a narrative you're creating in your head. The actual day may turn out to be just fine.

2. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling in the moment on Father's Day, whatever those emotions may be.

3. Be honest with yourself and those around you, and make your feelings known.

I hope these tips are helpful.

Sincerely,
Kelly

Background Music: "Miss You" by Middle Child
License: CC BY-NC 4.0 Deed Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International
Breakingcopyright.com

Welcome to episode 21!

In the labyrinth of infertility, you'll discover that life often reserves its most unexpected turns when the map seems most clear. Tom Kreffer continues to share his personal narrative of facing a natural pregnancy's delicate dance of hope and trepidation after IVF's trials. It's a tale that mirrors the lives of many listeners, revealing the joy and angst of expanding a family and the solace found when sharing these moments. Join us as we navigate this complex terrain, embracing each other's narratives as a source of strength and healing.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly 

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Welcome to episode 20!

When hope seems a distant memory and the journey to parenthood is shadowed by infertility, the story of one man's unexpected path to fatherhood emanates like a beacon of resilience. Tom Kreffer, a UK author and father, joins me to relay his deeply personal experience—from penning letters to an unborn child to embracing the surprise of natural conception. His narrative, set against the stark reality of a nearly zero chance diagnosis, speaks to the heart of every listener grappling with similar adversities and the quest for family.

The profound transformation from wanderlust-filled adventures to the anchored responsibilities of parenting is a tale that resonates deeply. Tom's memoirs, which began as cathartic journals, have become a testament to the power of writing through life's tempests. Our conversation traverses the emotional landscape of secondary infertility, the societal stigmas faced, and the delicate balance of cherishing the present while yearning for more. Tom's journey, reflective and enlightening, offers an intimate glimpse into the less-discussed male perspective on infertility and its impact on identity, relationships, and dreams of legacy.

This episode is a mosaic of shared experiences, from navigating the complexities of the UK's healthcare system post-COVID to the emotional resilience required when expanding a family remains an elusive dream. Tom's interaction with other couples at baby shows underscores the silent struggle many endure, while his books provide solace to women and men alike, seeking to comprehend and share in this deeply human experience. Tune in for an exploration of the emotional support necessary for men and the vital understanding that each journey through grief and infertility is as unique as the individuals who tread these paths.

Sincerely,
Kelly 

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Welcome to episode 19!

In our latest episode, we open the doors to the silent grief that men endure. The conversation moves beyond the physical absence of a child never held to explore the emotional chasm left behind, and how the lack of traditional mourning markers can render the pain invisible.

The dialogue stretches into the significant role of emotional intelligence as we, as fathers, share how we form an abstract connection with the unborn. Tokens like a pregnancy test become symbolic relics, carrying the weight of dreams unfulfilled. Our discussion is a raw look at the identity transformation that starts with the anticipation of fatherhood, the struggle to articulate the loss without physical anchors, and the search for solace in a world that sometimes forgets the father's pain.

In closing, we not only acknowledge but also embrace the idea that love does not dissipate with loss—it merely changes shape. We examine the potential for growth in the face of static love, and the empowerment found in channeling this love into parenting, creative endeavors, and life itself. This episode isn't merely an exchange of experiences; it's a testament to the enduring power of love and the resilience of a father's spirit in the aftermath of miscarriage.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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References:
All There Is (Anderson Cooper podcast)

Welcome to episode 18!

We welcome back Sophie from Miscarriage Mumma Support  to talk about ... grief.

Our conversations take on a reflective quality, encouraging listeners to peer into the corners of their own hearts that may harbor unprocessed grief. We underscore the necessity of sitting with our sadness and allow ourselves to be consumed by the full spectrum of our emotions. The journey we invite you to join is not just one of passive listening but an active pursuit of healing, as we navigate the tumultuous seas of love, loss, and the enduring power of naming our pain. With each story and insight shared, we hope to forge a path that leads to a more nurturing, understanding society for us all.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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References:
All There Is (Anderson Cooper podcast)
TMDs E14: The Unspoken Agony of Life after Multiple Miscarriages (ft. Miscarriage Mumma Support)
TMDs E17: When Grief Becomes a Catalyst for Parental Health Advocacy (ft. Liz O'Donnell)

Welcome to episode 17!

Our latest episode welcomes Liz, a courageous mother, who recounts the heartrending story of her daughter Aaliyah's stillbirth. Through her raw vulnerability, we tackle the complex layers of grief and the importance of nurturing conversations about pregnancy loss, particularly for fathers. Liz's poignant narrative confronts the myths surrounding the 'safe zone' of pregnancy and exposes the dire state of maternal healthcare practices in the United States.

The journey through loss is fraught with challenges that test the very fabric of our being. This conversation is a call to arms for more sensitive workplace policies and societal understanding, paving the way for legislative reform that honors the depth of parental bereavement. Together, we highlight the necessity of compassionate communication and the power of advocacy in healing wounds that are often unseen but deeply felt.

In the throes of sorrow, there lies a resilience that binds us and propels us forward. In sharing the evolution of the nonprofit, Aaliyah in Action, we cast a light on the transformative power of channeling grief into purposeful action. The episode is a testimony to the strength found in solidarity and the creation of legacies that keep our children's memories alive. For anyone navigating the tumultuous waters of loss, this dialogue offers a beacon of hope and a reminder that even in the darkest moments, we are not alone.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to episode 16!

When we find ourselves grappling with loss, the journey can be isolating and profound. Mary, a school psychologist and mother who has endured the heartache of losing her son, joins me to share her intimate experience with miscarriage, a chemical pregnancy, and stillbirth. Her poignant narrative reveals not only her personal anguish but also the broader issue of how religious platitudes can sometimes deepen the wounds of the grieving. Through her story, we uncover the delicate balance between faith, mourning, and the true meaning of support.

This episode takes an unflinching look at the impact of religious clichés when comforting the bereaved. We discuss the often-unintended consequences of saying things like "God won't give you more than you can handle," dissecting why such expressions, though well-intentioned, can fail those in their darkest hours. Mary's reflections guide us through her spiritual journey and the importance of authentic, empathetic companionship over theological commentary. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of how to navigate the intersection of grief and religion with sensitivity and respect.

Mary's courage in recounting her journey is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring love of a parent. Her dedication to her church's children ministry and her work with children are a beautiful homage to her son’s legacy, inspiring us all to channel our deepest sorrows into acts of kindness and service. Join us as we explore how love and purpose can emerge triumphantly from the depths of despair.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to episode 15!

As we sit down to share our journey through the heartache of miscarriage, my co-host Chris and I understand the profound spiritual crisis such a loss can ignite. Struggling with doubts and grief, we explore the turbulence in our faith, the questions that haunt us, and the stories that bind us together in our collective search for understanding. We've walked through the fire of losing what we held most dear and come out on the other side with a need to speak on the often-silenced sorrow that shrouds the topic within church halls.

Throughout the discussion, we peel back the layers of theological concepts that can seem like a lifeline but may also feel like salt in an open wound during times of crisis. Confronting the paradox of a compassionate deity overseeing a world filled with such personal tragedies, we engage in raw, unfiltered conversations about the nature of God's plan and our place within it. These dialogues serve not only as a catharsis but also as a bridge to connect with others who've faced similar trials, creating a sanctuary of empathy and shared understanding.

The series concludes with a reflection on the arduous path of grief and the tentative steps toward recovery after miscarriage. We extend a heartfelt thank you to our listeners for joining us on this deeply personal expedition. In solidarity, we offer comfort to others walking this road and reaffirm the significance of community support, the relief in knowing you are not journeying alone, and the courage it takes to share your own story.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to episode 14!

The raw, unfiltered echoes of our journey through the heartaches of miscarriage and the subsequent emotional odyssey of trying to conceive again are what you'll find in today's podcast. Our guest is Sophie from Miscarriage Momma Support, and she openly shares the scars left by multiple losses, reshaping her identity and life's canvas. 

Wading through the aftermath of pregnancy loss presents a unique challenge for couples, a challenge that often goes unnoticed, particularly for men. It's a glimpse into the silent burden that partners bear, an unspoken sorrow that demands recognition and empathy from both within the partnership and the wider community.

The episode transcends personal narratives as we scrutinize the impact of language, especially in clinical environments where words have the power to either soothe or sting. Our collective experiences, along with insights from colleagues, highlight the dire need for sensitive communication in the face of such profound loss. By amplifying these stories, we aim to shatter the stigma, foster understanding, and ultimately, pave the way for a more compassionate dialogue around miscarriage and its long-reaching effects on relationships and society.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Holding your breath as you step onto the emotional tightrope of trying for a baby after a miscarriage, you're not alone in oscillating between hope and heartache. Our latest episode unfolds the poignant narrative of a father's perspective on the complex journey toward parenthood post-loss. We share the raw, sometimes unspoken truths of guarding your heart while nurturing the fragile sprout of hope with each subsequent pregnancy. From the nerve-wracking suspense of pregnancy tests to the healing power of embracing new life, we open up about the scars that shape our present joys and fears.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to episode 12!

Have you ever stood at life's crossroads, the weight of loss in one hand and the possibility of new beginnings in the other? In this episode I share how I navigated the  tumultuous journey of deciding whether to expand our family after the heartache of miscarriage. This episode isn't just about recounting my own story; it offers an intimate  and rare glimpse into the often unspoken male perspective on loss and the longing for fatherhood.

With  raw emotion and vulnerability, I open a window revealing how my wife and I wrestled with the echoes of miscarriage, questioning the completeness of our family and the depths of our responsibilities as we pondered the risks and rewards of trying once more. 

This isn't just my journey—it's a chapter many have walked but few have voiced, until now.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to episode 11!

In this episode, Chris and I brave the tender subject of trying for another child post-loss in our latest heart-to-heart series. Revealing our personal journeys, we explore the intricate dance of hope and hesitation. We navigate this delicate terrain, not with all the answers, but with open hearts, inviting you to take part in this communal wisdom—an offering of solace and understanding.

Decoding the communication chasm between expectant parents and medical professionals, we dissect why the detailed statistics ubiquitous in surgical discussions are often missing from conversations about conception and childbearing. This episode is a clarion call for transparent dialogue in healthcare, a beacon for those yearning for candid discussions as they step onto the unpredictable path of starting or expanding a family.

The tapestry of fatherhood is woven with threads of joy and sorrow, and in this series, we don't shy away from either. We celebrate the milestones of our living children while also honoring the grief for those we've lost. Through our exchange, we underscore the necessity to mourn dreams departed, to find strength in vulnerability, and to heal through connection. We invite you to join us in this exploration of fatherhood's full emotional spectrum, as we support each other in the trials and triumphs that define our experiences as fathers.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to episode 10! 

This latest episode of The Miscarriage Dads podcast addresses my reasons for the extended period without the release of an episode and the tumultuous period I've been navigating. 

However, the purpose of this episode is to highlight the extraordinary stories we've received cementing the value of this space for grieving men and fathers who renounce the idea of suffering in silence. Our community's extraordinary courage shines through in this episode, and it's your stories that propel our mission forward, to cultivate a space that recognizes the toll of these devastating experiences on a father's heart.

Chris and I are eager to reconvene and bring more of the conversations that resonate with you and your experiences. Until our next episode, we remind you that in times of loss, the importance of self-care and kindness cannot be overstated. We stand with you in your stories of heartache and hope, and are endlessly grateful for the chance to walk this path alongside you.

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to episode 9!

Who said tears don't suit men? Imagine the joy of expecting not one, but two bundles of joy, only to have that joy abruptly replaced with unspeakable grief. Join me, Kelly, as I sit with my guest, Brandon Byrnes, to shatter the societal stigma and navigate the emotional labyrinth of pregnancy loss from a father's perspective. Brandon's heartrending journey of losing his twins is one that strikes deep, from the initial surprise of learning about the twins after their first child, to the devastating loss that left a permanent imprint on his life. This episode is not just about shared sorrow, but also about finding solidarity and healing in our shared experiences. 

One of the most poignant moments in our discussion is when Brandon recounts the surreal joy of watching his unborn twins dance in the ultrasound, a memory that now serves as a profound reminder of their brief existence. The narrative winds through the unique memorial service they attended and the ways Brandon and his wife found to honor their children's lives. We also delve into the uncomfortable territory of insensitive comments, the fear of conceiving again, and the challenging path of navigating grief as a couple. This episode aims to provide understanding and support to those grappling with a similar grief.

As we move towards the episode's conclusion, it's essential to recognize the often overlooked societal stigma surrounding men's experiences with miscarriage loss. It's a conversation between two fathers sharing their emotional journeys, the toll it took on their families, and the importance of connecting with others who have had similar experiences. We also discuss the impact of social media and the need for a more mindful presence, as Brandon shares his decision to prioritize his family over his online presence. This episode serves as a testament to the power of shared experiences and the courage it takes to voice such deeply personal stories. Listen in to find solace, support, and a sense of connection.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to episode 8!

Grief--it's a universal emotion, yet we rarely discuss how it deeply affects men, particularly in the context of miscarriage. As your hosts, Kelly and Chris, we've invited Notorious True for a raw, emotional conversation about the silent struggle of men dealing with miscarriage. Remembering his own experience as a teenager, True paints a vivid picture of the inner turmoil he went through and emphasizes the importance of giving men a platform to voice their heartaches.

In a riveting conversation, we shift the focus to True, who provides enlightening insights into the bittersweet journey of transitioning into fatherhood. Here's a tale of joy, anticipation, and the painful setback of miscarriage that led him to reflect on the societal expectations weighing heavy on men's shoulders. How can we reshape society's narrative, allowing men to openly express their emotions? As True shares his story, he brings to the forefront the reality of suppressed grief and the need for emotional support during these trying times.

True's story is a testament to the transformative power of fatherhood and the fortitude he found amidst adversity. Through a heart-wrenching loss, he found strength, self-reflection, and a renewed connection with God. This conversation serves to underscore the significance of creating safe spaces for men to bare their souls, honoring their experiences, and enabling them to lend support to others walking in their shoes. 

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to episode 7!

Can we redefine what it means to be a man, particularly in times of grief? That's the big question we tackle in our latest episode, joined by the insightful Scott Jensen. In a culture that too often equates masculinity with stoicism, we explore the deep, hidden emotions that men grapple with, specifically in the context of early miscarriage—a poignant loss that society doesn't often pause enough to acknowledge. 

As we traverse the less-charted territory of men's grief, we highlight parts of our respective personal journeys, shedding light on the nuances of their emotional roller coaster, and the disconnect many men feel when societal expectations clash with their reality. We discuss the necessity of having supportive environments in which men can safely express their feelings without fear of judgement. We also delve into how societal norms about masculinity can create barriers to emotional expression, and the urgent need for these constructs to be redefined.

In the final part of our discussion, we confront the pervasive issue of toxic masculinity, and its detrimental impact on men’s relationships and emotional wellbeing. Using our own experiences as a compass, we lay bare the potential for connection that lies in the power of vulnerability, and the crucial role authenticity plays in fostering these connections. In a world that's slowly becoming more open to conversations about mental health, our hope is that this episode sparks more dialogues about men's grief and the need to create safe spaces for these conversations.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Have you ever pondered the impact miscarriage has on fathers, or the complex emotions that are often untapped within these men? Today, we embark on a heartfelt journey, unraveling these unspoken experiences and exploring the vital role of empathy and mutual support in loss. We highlight the importance of shared understanding within couples, shedding light on the male perspective on miscarriage.

We touch on the profound influence of beliefs, faith, and expectations on individuals grappling with miscarriage. From comforting to confusing, faith plays a paradoxical role during these trying times. We scrutinize the introspective questions and self-doubts that arise amidst loss, and discuss the decision to let life unfold naturally amidst unexpected coincidences. With a focus on the necessity of partnership, we underline the power of acknowledging each partner's emotions during such times, emphasizing the critical need for both to be seen, heard, and supported for healing to occur.

Lastly, we emphasize the significance of partnership during the trying times of baby loss, and the need to validate men's experiences in miscarriage, underscoring the need for healing to happen in unity. Join us as we navigate these intricate themes and lend a voice to the often overlooked male perspective on miscarriage.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Remember that hushed silence that follows a heartbreaking revelation? Those moments of helplessness when there's an intrusion of an unexpected crisis into your safe space? We do. As we peel back the layers of our personal experiences with miscarriages and dealing with the following struggles, we take you on an emotional expedition. We examine the profound impact of such an event on our perceptions of manhood and masculinity, and how it challenged the societal notion that equates our identity to the ability to provide and protect. 

Who knew that the strength of our presence could outweigh the might of our actions? We unfold this revelation in our conversation today as we focus on the importance of showing up for our partners and loved ones during challenging times. We reveal that our most significant contribution isn't always material but often emotional support and understanding. We also journey into our experiences of healing and recovery, emphasizing the need for emotional vulnerability and communication in relationships.

We end our discussion recognizing the unspoken bond that forms amongst men who have undergone similar painful experiences. We take a moment to remind those who have faced such situatons that they are not alone, and there is comfort and understanding in shared experiences. We hope our candid discussions inspire others to redefine their understanding of manhood in ways that value emotional needs and resilience. Join us as we navigate this complex terrain of loss, masculinity, and emotional resilience.

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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In honor of Baby and Infant Loss Awareness Week and Month, we push for the same level of attention given to causes like Breast Cancer. There's a lot to discuss from the physical and emotional toll, to the journey of naming our unborn children and the profound emotional connection that creates. As the world commemorates other causes, let’s expand the conversation about baby and infant loss. 

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to episode 3 of The Miscarriage Dads!

In this conversation, I unpack the deep impact multiple miscarriages has had on my relationship, and the guilt I felt for not being able to fully comprehend my wife's experience. I talk about the emotional roller coaster ride of keeping hope alive amidst despair and grief, sharing deeply personal moments like a vivid dream of my wife giving birth. We also touch on the racial tension we faced during these sensitive moments and how it amplified our already agonizing journeys. 

Throughout our discussion, we underscore the importance of communication in relationships, particularly during such challenging times. I share how opening up about my pain brought my wife and I closer and allowed us to nurture a stronger bond. In the final part of our conversation, we extend a heartfelt invitation to others who have been through similar experiences, reaffirming our commitment to creating a safe and supportive space for all. 

Thank you for tuning  in to find solace, gain understanding, and embark on your healing journey with us!

Sincerely,
Kelly & Chris

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Welcome to episode 2 of The Miscarriage Dads!

Have you ever felt the joy of anticipation and expectation that comes with a growing life, only to be met with the devastating stillness and silence when it's lost prematurely? That’s what we're addressing in this profound conversation, as we journey through experiences of early pregnancy loss, the struggle to revisit those painful memories, and the unexpected relief in sharing them.

In this heartfelt discussion, we discover the troubling words that influenced Kelly's response to his first miscarriage experience.  We also delve into the emotional challenges he faced that almost caused a rift in his marriage. We explore the often detached approach of medical practitioners and the potential harmful implications it may have on the relationships of the people they serve. 

Finally, we underline how crucial it is to be present for our loved ones during challenging times. Talking about the double standard men face when it comes to mental health after the loss of a child, we also explore the lack of available resources for men. The episode wraps up with a discussion on traditional masculinity, the danger of suppressing feelings, particularly following the loss of a child. 

So, buckle up and join us as we unpack these issues. The learnings from Kelly's story might just be the thing you need to hear today.

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Best,
Kelly & Chris

Welcome to episode 1 of The Miscarriage Dads!

Together with Chris, we dive into the very personal stories of our early pregnancy losses and the profound effect they had on us as fathers. Our conversation takes an emotional turn as we reminisce about the heart-wrenching moments of our miscarriages, the isolation that fatherhood can bring in these situations, and the societal expectations that shape our response to such a tragic event.

As fathers, we experienced the pain of not just losing a child but also being sidelined from the grieving process. We discuss the anguish of being unable to protect and provide in the face of such a tragedy, the guilt associated with these traditional roles, and the emotional attachment we had for our unborn child. We delve into the emotions and feelings that arise in fathers when they feel helpless, emphasizing on the importance of normalizing the conversation around the impact on fathers and how this can be an opportunity to redefine the traditional roles of fathers.

Our chat goes beyond sharing our personal experiences. We reflect on the importance of a robust support system for fathers too, highlighting the value of creating safe spaces for men to express their grief and find solace in shared experiences. We invite you to join us in this conversation, share your stories, and let others know they are not alone. After all, your story matters, and we are here to listen.

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Best,
Kelly & Chris