Choosing to Heal with Monica Leigh

29. Why I Stopped Trying To Save My Marriage

Wed, 24 Jan 2024 04:00:00 -0500

Ever since I started sharing more about my co-parenting journey with my ex-husband online, lots of comments and assumptions have been shared, both good and bad, but mostly bad. It blew people’s minds how I’m able to sit down at the same dinner table and still have an amicable relationship with him, then we shouldn’t have gotten a divorce.

“You couldn't put your egos aside when you were married, but now you can.”

“If this is so perfect, then why didn't you just stay together?”

“Genuinely curious if you get along so well, why divorce in the first place? I just don't get it.”

“If you can cordially communicate and be in each other's presence and have the ability to compromise like this why couldn't you compromise on the thing that caused you to divorce in the first place?”

“If you get along this well after a divorce, then you shouldn't have gotten a divorce.”

Because here’s the thing: just because you get along well with someone doesn’t mean that you are meant to be in a romantic relationship with that person. Yes, you read that right. This is from someone who fought for her marriage for years.

So in this episode, let’s talk about some of the things I did to try to save my marriage and how I arrived at the decision to end it.

In this episode:

04:18 - My story of betrayal trauma
05:58 - How I kept myself in denial
08:39 - What are you motivated by when it comes to saving your marriage?
11:11 - A healthier way to advocate for yourself when saving your marriage
14:03 - When I realized my own role in the dysfunction of my marriage
14:28 - What happens when you let go of control
17:32 - Is it possible to divorce from a place of love and healing?
19:38 - The turning point of why I stopped trying to save my marriage

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Download my FREE Core Values Workbook
Join the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

28. How Somatic Therapy & Energy Work Can Help You Heal with Maria Sellars

Wed, 17 Jan 2024 04:00:00 -0500

If you have been in therapy for years but you feel stuck, this episode is for you. Have you heard the term “the body keeps score”? That is because trauma gets stored in our bodies, which is why it’s so important to incorporate a somatic approach to healing. You may understand WHY you are stuck cognitively, but you won’t experience true healing until you release the trauma somatically.

In this episode of the Choosing to Heal podcast, I talked with Maria Sellars, a dynamic Healing Arts Practitioner. We dive into different modalities like energy work & somatic therapy, what they are, and how they can help you heal.

In this episode:

03:42 - Discover the cheapest form of anti-depression
04:44 - Intro to other modalities: somatic therapy & energy work
07:21 - Why talk therapy alone isn’t enough
10:02 - How and why trauma is stored in the body
12:52 - How and why your body responds when you’re emotionally triggered
16:43 - How to heal at a body level & why it’s so important
22:05 - Simple ways to get started with vibrational, somatic, energy healing

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Join the Choosing To Heal Community HERE
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

About our guest:

Maria Sellars is a dynamic Healing Arts Practitioner who has been studying movement and energy medicine for over 17 years. She is the owner of Heal. Pain & Stress Relief Center in the Orlando, Florida area. Her passion is helping people to light up their lives because she knows what it is like struggling and living in the dark. Maria’s approach to healing combines energy work, somatic inner child work and chakra balancing techniques to help people find clarity, peace and joy in their worlds. We all have the capability to heal our lives and Maria is here to walk alongside you as you grow along your journey.

Connect with Maria

Follow Maria on Instagram @orlandoenergyworker @whattheheal.podcast

www.mariasellars.com

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

27. 8 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Relationship & Why

Wed, 10 Jan 2024 04:00:00 -0500

Here’s the thing: you’re not a horrible person for unconsciously sabotaging your relationship. Your unhealthy habits have nothing to do with who you are as a person but it says everything about your past and what you’ve been through.

So in today’s episode, let’s take a hard look at the ways you may be self-sabotaging your relationship and the reasons why you may be doing this. Once you gain a deeper understanding as to why you may be doing these behaviors, you can do better and choose to heal.

In this episode mp3:

01:58 - 8 ways you may be sabotaging your relationship
04:47 - The wounded beliefs that fuel your behavior
06:26 - Words to watch out for when you’re in conflict
08:57 - What you’re REALLY trying to communicate
17:41 - How past trauma plays a huge role in how you act out
21:57 - Why it’s hard for your partner to respond when you react

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Get my FREE Triggered Masterclass
Listen to Episode 5: How to Respond, Not React
Join the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

26. Start Fresh in 2024 By Doing A New Year Reset! Here’s How.

Wed, 27 Dec 2023 03:00:00 -0500

It’s almost the start of a brand new year, and if you're like the rest of the world, you're probably starting to think about New Year's resolutions or things you want to do differently for 2024.

So in today's episode, I’ll walk you through the exercises we’re doing inside the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club to say goodbye to 2023 and prep for 2024 with intention so we can continue to heal and thrive.

In this episode:

01:46 - How to prep for the new year
03:11 - Why you need accountability partners
04:29 - Do this to trigger your 2023 memories
05:26 - Journal prompts to use for 2023 reflections
09:46 - A creative approach to gratitude
11:55 - Defining your word of the year
18:35 - How to break down goals into an actionable plan
23:05 - Decluttering for the new year

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Download my New Year Reset Workbook HERE
Join the Choosing to Heal Book Community and Book Club for accountability and healing resources
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

25. 2023 Year In Review: My Personal Highs & Lows

Wed, 20 Dec 2023 04:00:00 -0500

This time of year, you’ll see a lot of highlight reels. But let’s be real… a year doesn’t consist of ONLY GOOD. Consider this your dose of what a REALISTIC year can look like, balancing both the good and the hard! Choosing to heal is not a linear path and this year was no exception.

In this episode, I share my most impactful experiences from 2023: both highlights and lowlights.

In this episode:

02:40 - The biggest shock of the year
03:35 - Learning how to surrender the outcome
08:04 - Grieving unexpected loss
10:00 - Hidden everyday blessings
10:24 - The underrated benefit of being in a long-distance relationship
13:51 - How blended family is both a blessing and a struggle
17:01 - Biggest frustration in my healing journey so far
20:32 - Why I’m able to dive deeper into healing this year

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Get my FREE Triggered Masterclass
Listen to Episode 7: Deciding To Divorce, Dating After Divorce & What Life Looks Like Now
Join the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

24. Can Your Partner Help You Heal? Debunking 3 Common Relationship Myths

Wed, 06 Dec 2023 04:00:00 -0500

Should you do the work and heal unhealthy relationship patterns BEFORE entering a relationship OR can your partner help you heal?

In this episode, I am debunking three common myths about healing in relationships because believing them can hold you back or make you think that your relationship is doomed when it's simply not the case.

I'll be getting vulnerable and sharing some personal examples about areas that I'm still healing in my current relationship, as well as what is required from you and your partner if you want to have a relationship that facilitates growth and healing for you both.

In this episode:

02:20 - Why there’s no such thing as being “fully healed”
03:50 - The difference between a toxic relationship and a relationship that experiences rough patches
06:16 My personal struggle with conflict in my relationship
06:43 - How childhood trauma can manifest as an unhealthy coping mechanism in relationships
08:39 - The core step you need to take to stop attracting emotionally unavailable people
09:25 - Can your partner help you heal?

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Download my FREE Core Values Worksheet
Listen to Episode 23: Moving on Too Quickly? How To Tell If You’re Ready To Date Again
Join the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

23. Moving on Too Quickly? How To Tell If You’re Ready To Date Again

Wed, 29 Nov 2023 04:00:00 -0500

One of my biggest fears about dating post-divorce was getting into a new relationship only to repeat the same patterns, leading to yet another failed relationship.

So is it true that if you move on too soon, you’re unhealthy and your new relationship is doomed to fail? Is staying single the only way to do the work and heal those relationship wounds? In this new episode, I’m sharing my opinion on dating after divorce and spoiler warning…it’s not a popular one.

In this episode:

01:11 - My personal story
02:14 - How I “tested” myself to see if I was truly ready to date again
06:42 - Unspoken societal stigma about how long one should wait to date again
08:52 - Staying single vs. dating right away
10:05 - My unpopular opinion about dating after divorce
12:55 - How healing your hurt with your former partner can contribute to your personal healing
16:17 - Questions to reflect on to see if you’re ready to look for a new healthy relationship
18:25 - Mindset shift for dating post-divorce
20:29 - Affirmations for dating post-divorce

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Get my FREE Core Values Worksheet HERE
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

22. Unexpected Holiday Grief Post-Divorce

Thu, 16 Nov 2023 09:00:00 -0500

Splitting time during the holidays, being alone, having your kids away…these are the things most divorced people expect to grieve over post-divorce. But what I didn’t expect to hit me like a ton of bricks was all these much more subtle and nuanced things that I didn’t even think could affect me but they did.

It's difficult to not have expectations on how the holiday is going to go when year after year it has looked and felt the same. In this episode, let’s talk about the things divorced people grieve people that aren’t really discussed.

In this episode:

01:27 - Longing over attachment to holiday traditions
06:20 - Grieving the relationships of your former extended family
13:42 - Navigating the balance of sharing grief with my partner while also protecting him
17:02 - Scripts for holding emotional boundaries
18:23 - Missing my stepkids
19:27 - The silver lining in dating after divorce
23:11 - Holding space for grieving over the past and being grateful for the present
24:17 - Feel your feelings
25:54 - Emotions don’t always have to have meanings

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Get my proven step-by-step process for letting go and moving forward HERE
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

21. 10 Things I’m Not Giving Energy To In My 30s

Wed, 08 Nov 2023 04:00:00 -0500

What sticks out to me so far in my life is how different I feel right now in my 30s compared to when I was in my 20s.

I’ve heard people around me say, “30s are your new 20s” and I feel like it could go one of two ways. First, is that people can view getting older as the worst thing that can happen to them. The second is viewing it as an opportunity to discover new versions of themselves.

I’m definitely the latter and I won’t deny that I love getting older. Each year, I become wiser and more in tune with my authentic self. I discover new ways of creating the person I want to be.

So whether you are in your 30s and just looking for some things you can leave behind too, or whether you're in your 20s or younger and just wondering what life might be like in your 30s, I’m sharing the 10 things I’m no longer giving energy to in my 30s. No matter how old (or young) you are, my hope is that you can take away some things to consider and ask yourself if it’s worth it to give energy to these things as well.

In this episode:

01:59 - No longer feel guilty about declining invitations or not making these interactions a priority
05:12 - Giving up alcohol due to witnessing harm and feeling personal distress
08:40 - Self-improvement is key, allowing me to manage discomfort without controlling others' opinions
11:22 - Discovering the power of internal validation
13:07 - Not stressing about appearance
18:10 - No longer changing myself to gain acceptance and approval
20:22 - Not feeling guilty for saying no
21:40 - Appreciate that embracing imperfections and vulnerabilities is a courageous act
23:37 - Realizing that life is too short to engage in things out of obligation or fear of offense
26:47 - Reflecting on the significance of where we direct our energy

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Sign up for Monica’s Love Mail
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

20. From Page to Practice: Turning Reading into Action with Nick Hutchison

Wed, 01 Nov 2023 04:00:00 -0400

When it comes to selecting a book to read, the process can often be overwhelming and intimidating, particularly if you are relatively new to the world of reading and haven't had the chance to explore it extensively.

That's why I reached out to Nick Hutchinson, founder of Book Thinkers, a renowned platform dedicated to promoting the love of reading and personal development. I sought his expertise on the art of selecting the perfect book, reading with purpose and intention, and effectively applying the knowledge gained from your reading materials to your everyday life.

In this episode:

05:39 Info about Nick’s new book, Rise of the Reader!
06:42 Debunking the myth: “I don’t have time to read”
07:27 How you can read 26 books a year by committing to 15 mins/day
10:07 The missing link between reading, retention and implementation
13:18 How to implement what you read into real life action
17:03 How to choose the right books to read
19:53 Nick’s reading habits that have helped him read 500+ books in the past 10 years

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Join the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club
Buy the book on Amazon
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Connect with Nick

Learn more about Nick
Learn more about BookThinkers
For personalized book recommendations, DM Nick on Instagram

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

19. How To Stress Less This Holiday Season

Wed, 25 Oct 2023 04:00:00 -0400

The holiday season can be a stressful time for many, filled with endless obligations and expectations. It can be a difficult season where old traumas and dealing with difficult family members make it really hard to navigate. Not to mention all of the work that goes into events, decorating, meal cooking, basically all of the things.

In this episode, I’m sharing practical tips so you can STRESS LESS this holiday season!

In this episode:

01:00 - What holiday vibe are you projecting?
03:31 - How the season of life you’re in affects your holiday expectations
06:59 - How to ensure you make time for fun festive activities that are important to you
12:03 - How I plan & schedule the holidays by working backwards
17:45 - Holiday comparison, FOMO & family guilt trips
21:19 - Navigating the holiday season as a co-parent/blended family

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Join the Choosing To Heal Community!
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

18. Romantic Getaway or Recipe for Unmet Expectations?

Wed, 18 Oct 2023 04:00:00 -0400

Relationships are all about vulnerability and intimacy, but let's be real, it's not always easy to open up and be truly intimate with your partner. I recently went on a vacation to Jamaica with my partner, Joshua, and it made me realize just how important it is to understand the dynamics of connection and intimacy during trips like these.

In this podcast episode, I want to share with you some of the common pitfalls couples face on vacations, the role of expectations, the impact of distractions, and the transformative power of intentional choices.

In this episode:

05:25 Things that we did in our vacation that made it an opportunity to really connect and make it a wonderful experience
15:27 The one thing we did that made the biggest difference in our vacation

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Listen to Episode 12: Why You Are Fighting & How To Break The Cycle with Brett Nikula HERE
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

17. Making Peace With An Unfinished To-Do List

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 04:00:00 -0400

Many of us find ourselves constantly striving to get things done, to be ahead, and to check off everything on our to-do lists. It’s easy to believe that by accomplishing all your tasks, you will finally feel less stressed and more at ease. However, this mindset often leads to a never-ending cycle of anxiety and guilt when you inevitably fall behind.

In this latest podcast episode, let’s explore the importance of managing these emotions and shifting our focus from the end result to actually creating intentional moments in our lives.

In this episode:

0:00 The irony behind creating this episode
3:22 Exploring guilt, anxiety & shame
6:45 Preventative things you can do to prevent overwhelm
11:33 Why unfinished tasks make us so anxious
16:00 Mindfulness & why it’s imperative to have the life you want
16:50 A conversation I had with Joshua & why he inspires me
19:33 Practicing acceptance

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Listen to Episode 13: Why You Are A People Pleaser (And What To Do About It) HERE
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

16. Done Is Better Than Perfect: The Perfectionist’s Guide For Taking Action

Wed, 04 Oct 2023 04:00:00 -0400

Do you ever feel like you're constantly chasing perfection?

Waiting for the right moment to take action or comparing yourself to others who seem to have it all together?

It's a frustrating cycle that many of us can relate to.

In this episode of the Choosing to Heal Podcast, I dive into the downsides of perfectionism and discover how embracing imperfection can bring about personal and professional growth.

In this episode:

3:00 Examples of perfectionism & what motivates it
4:43 Finding the perfect balance between preparation and taking action
6:08 A personal story of perfectionism & comparison
7:54 The comparison trap
9:15 Actionable tips you can implement when you find yourself falling into the perfectionism & comparison
11:35 The importance of accountability & where to find it

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Join the Choosing to Heal Community and Book Club HERE
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

15. Choosing To Heal Community & Book Club: How It Works & Is It For You?

Wed, 27 Sep 2023 06:00:00 -0400

In today's fast-paced and often disconnected world, it can feel like you’re just floating around, trying to figure things out on your own.

But let me tell you, finding a community that's got your back can be a total game-changer.

That's where the Choosing to Heal community comes in. It's an inclusive space that understands the power of having people around you who get it – who understand the ups and downs of personal growth and healing.

Whether you're working through past traumas, looking to break free from those old patterns that keep holding you back, or simply wanting to grow as an individual, having a supportive community is like finding a lifeline. It's a place where you can show up as your authentic self, share your story, and get the support and resources you need along the way.

In this episode, I talk about how I came up with the idea for the community, what exactly it is (what sets it apart from other support groups), and how it works. If you want to find out if this is the right community for you, press play to this episode!

In this episode:

1:15 My Story
4:30 Why I created Choosing To Heal
8:50 This is for you if
12:20 This is not for you if
15:44 What happens when you join
16:35 Breakdown of each section of the Community
36:30 Answering FAQs
27:50 Commitment & Expectations

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Join the Choosing To Heal Community & Book Club
Take the FREE 7-Day People Pleasing Challenge
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

14. 12 Negative Thinking Patterns & How To Reframe Them

Wed, 20 Sep 2023 04:00:00 -0400

We've all been there: one triggered thought, leads to negative thinking, and before you know it:

You make a mistake at work and start thinking that you're a failure.

You have a disagreement with your partner and start thinking that they don't love you anymore.

You see a social media post about someone else's success and start thinking that you're not good enough.

We all know how it feels to get caught in the trap of negative thinking. It can lead to feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, and even depression.

But there's good news - you can overcome these negative thinking patterns and even reframe them. With practice and awareness, you can learn to catch yourself when you start to fall into negative thinking patterns and redirect your thoughts towards a more positive and productive mindset.

In this episode:

How constant negative thinking impacts your behavior
How to identify and reframe common cognitive distortions
Ways to catch negative thinking patterns
Practical tips for reframing negative thoughts and redirecting mindset
Tools for processing triggers and negative thoughts
What you can do to slow down the process of negative thinking
Why is it essential to acknowledge both the positives and negatives of a situation
Strategies for overcoming self-blame and blaming others
Why you should avoid overgeneralization and fortune-telling

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Get the exact journal I use to self-reflect when I’m triggered HERE
OR get the journal bundle + course inside the TRIGGERED MINI SERIES HERE
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

13. Why You Are A People Pleaser (And What To Do About It)

Wed, 13 Sep 2023 04:00:00 -0400

Are you someone who always puts everyone else’s wants and needs before your own?

Do you find yourself constantly saying "yes" to things you don't want to do, just to avoid guilt?

Are you constantly stressed when you think someone is upset with you?

If so, you may be a people-pleaser. People-pleasing is a common behavior where we try to make others happy at the expense of our own needs and desires. While it may seem like a selfless act, it can have significant negative impacts on our lives.

In this episode, we are exploring the impact of people-pleasing can have on our lives, including the loss of our own identity, emotional and physical exhaustion, low self-worth.

In this episode:

How to identify your people-pleasing behavior
Where the root of people-pleasing stems from
How your childhood & upbringing plays a huge role in why you are a people pleaser
The price of people-pleasing & how it negatively impacts your life
Why you keep people-pleasing even though you “know better”
The skills needed to change your people-pleasing tendencies
Start choosing to heal by taking the FREE People-Pleasing Challenge!

Join My FREE People-Pleasing Challenge!

If you're ready to start healing from people-pleasing, join my FREE 7-Day People-Pleasing Challenge! This challenge provides daily prompts, downloadable workbooks, actionable steps, and accountability to help you take baby steps towards healing your people-pleasing tendencies.

After you complete this challenge you will:

🌱 understand where the root of your people-pleasing stems from

💰 identify what people-pleasing is costing you (and why it's so important to start healing)!

😰 uncover your deep, underlying fears (and how they reinforce your people-pleasing behaviors)

✅ identify who and what truly matters so you can make choices that align with your priorities

🚫 learn how to set boundaries & how to communicate them

❤️ learn how to practice self-compassion & why it's such a pivotal part of your healing journey

By the end of the challenge, you'll feel more confident in your ability to advocate for yourself and show up authentically in your life. Sign up for FREE here!

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Sign up for the FREE 7-Day People-Pleasing Challenge HERE - Starts on Sept. 18
Get my FREE How to Say No Boundary Scripts HERE
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica

12. Why You Are Fighting & How To Break the Cycle with Brett Nikula

Wed, 06 Sep 2023 04:00:00 -0400

Do you ever find yourself in the same argument with your partner over and over again? Or perhaps there’s distance that has slowly developed over time and you can’t quite put your finger on why.

In this episode of the Choosing to Heal podcast, I talk with Brett Nikula, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Life Coach & Founder of Pivotal Approach Counseling & Coaching.

We dive into the conflict cycle and how it impacts every single one of our relationships (even non-romantic). We share personal examples and break down the steps of the conflict cycle to help you understand and break free from your own relationship patterns.

In this episode:

How & why couples fall into the Conflict Cycle
How to identify your attachment longings & deeper vulnerable emotions beneath your surface-level reactions
Personal stories & examples of the Conflict Cycle from both Brett & Monica
How to own your cycle and take responsibility for your part in conflicts
How your trauma impacts how you show up in conflict
The skills needed to work through conflict
What couples can do to start healing and repairing

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Download the FREE Conflict Cycle Worksheet
Get 20% off your first 3 months with code HEAL: Connected Couples Campus
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Connect with Brett Nikula:

Instagram: @pivotalapproachmn
Podcast: Fighting for Connection Podcast
Brett's website: https://www.pivotalapproach.com/
Connected Couples Campus

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

11. No Followers, No Problem: How to Grow A Social Media Following From Scratch

Wed, 30 Aug 2023 04:00:00 -0400

So, you want to start an online brand but there’s just one problem… you’re not an influencer! You don’t have hundreds of thousands of followers so why bother, right? Wrong! In this episode, I’m going to tell you why that’s actually a good thing you can use to your advantage! Press play to hear tips and strategies I have used over the past eight years so you can grow your social media following and create a successful content strategy.

In this episode:

Why having a small following is actually a GOOD thing
Why you should research your target audience
How to identify your brand pillars and create a content strategy
How to provide value through your content
The difference between a social media consumer mindset and a social media creator mindset
The importance of engagement with your community and how to do it effectively
The significance of consistency in content creation
How to create effective calls to action that connect and convert

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

200 Calls To Action That Connect & Convert
200 Headlines That Hook
Get my FREE Workbook: Create 30 Days of Content HERE
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

10. Overcoming Fear of the Unknown & Letting Go of Control with Joshua & Monica

Wed, 16 Aug 2023 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode, I invite my partner Joshua on the podcast to talk about overcoming fear of the unknown & letting go of control.

When we were doing long-distance in different states, it was tough. We were in a season of limbo for a very long time, not knowing if we’d ever be able to have our forever. But we still chose each other, regardless of the risk of it never working out.

We’ll be sharing what we did to let go of the outcome and enjoy each other without being overcome by fear and sadness.

In this episode:

Why we decided to do long-distance even though there was a high likelihood that it wouldn’t work out
Why trusting the process is so hard
How to let go of control and lean into moments of fear
How to identify if emotion is from a wounded/broken part of ourselves or our true authentic self
How to recognize and separate yourself from fear
How to take personal accountability so that you don’t push your partner away
How to focus on inner work and use difficult seasons as tools for healing and growth

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Triggered Series: My step-by-step process for letting go of control & moving forward
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

9. Haters Gonna Hate: How To Handle Negativity & Criticism

Wed, 09 Aug 2023 04:00:00 -0400

Have you ever received negative comments or criticism that left you feeling upset and triggered? Maybe it's a comment on social media or a critical remark from a loved one. Whatever the source, it can be challenging to maintain a sense of peace and calm when faced with negativity and criticism. But it is possible to overcome these triggers and find inner peace.

In this episode, I shared my experience with receiving negative comments and how I've learned to work through my triggers.

In this episode:

How to equip and compose yourself to respond to these situations with more confidence
Why expecting negativity and criticism is key to maintaining peace
How to get out of fight or flight mode and get into a state of calm
What I do right after getting triggered by a negative comment
How to understand and have empathy for the person who is criticizing
My proven method for not letting negativity, negative comments, and haters affect me
The tangible tools I use to process my emotions and triggers

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Get my Digital Journal Bundle & Triggered Mini Series HERE
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

8. How To Create Work-Life Balance During Back-to-School Season

Wed, 02 Aug 2023 04:00:00 -0400

It's back to school season, which means schedules are getting busier and it can be easy to feel overwhelmed. In this episode, we'll cover some tips for creating and maintaining work-life balance during this time of year.

In this episode:

How to time block & plan during busy back to school season
How I use a Google calendar to plan, coordinate and stay on schedule
How to use the Pomodoro method to help with focus and productivity
How to delegate & what you can delegate to take things off your plate
What time-saving, convenience services I use for things I loathe doing
The importance of asking for help and saying no, and how to do so
How to communicate with your partner and family members about mental and emotional states during busy times
Tips for practicing self-compassion and accepting the realities of busy seasons

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

Timer
HomeChef - Get $35 off your first order
Thrive Market - Get 40% off your first order
InstaCart - Get $30 off your first order (use code M148C7B19A)
Uber Eats - Get $20 off your first order with code eats-do78r
Get my FREE How to Say No Boundaries Script HERE
Full Show Notes HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the podcast and keep future content coming!

7. Deciding To Divorce, Dating After Divorce & What Life Looks Like Now

Wed, 26 Jul 2023 04:00:00 -0400

After sharing that that I made a huge decision to divorce, I’ve been getting an increase of questions and curiosity about all of the details surrounding it.

How did I arrive at my decision to divorce?
How did you find the courage to actually do it?
How did I know I was ready to date again?
How did I meet my this new guy?
What does life look like now?

Well, it’s your lucky day, because I’m answering all of your Qs related to Divorce, Dating & Co-Parenting (and more) on today’s podcast episode!

In addition to answering the above questions, I’ll also be peeling back the curtain and letting you in on:

The work I did to prevent repeating my patterns in a new relationship
The “homework test” I gave myself when I started dating again
How I communicate with my former husband post-divorce
The unexpected and surprising way I met my partner
& a HUGE life update & announcement << I haven’t openly shared about this yet!!

Divorce is scary because the future is unknown. But what if it divorce wasn’t just an ending? What if it could be the beginning of something unexpected and beautiful?

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Grab your FREE Core Values Workbook HERE.
FULL SHOW NOTES HERE

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com.

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook.

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider.

Thank you for listening to the Choosing to Heal podcast!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the show and keep future content coming!

6. 7 Regrets I Have As A Mom & How I’ve Forgiven Myself

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 04:00:00 -0400

My son Jasper turns 7 on July 23, and it's hard to believe that I've been a mother for 7 years! Time flies by, and as cliché as it may sound, it's undeniably true. However, there's something that seems to weave its way into the lives of every mother: mom guilt.

In today's episode, I'm going to share with you seven regrets I have as a mother, some of which I've never had the courage to admit out loud before. But more importantly, I want to explore how I'm actively learning to forgive myself and navigate the constant presence of mom guilt and shame that lingers in my life. I've yet to meet a single mother who hasn't experienced these emotions in some way; it's like a persistent cloud that weighs us down.

In this episode, we cover:

The seven regrets I have as a mother
How I have learned to forgive myself and practice self-compassion
My personal struggles with guilt, shame, and feeling inadequate as a mother
Societal pressures and expectations faced by both stay-at-home and working moms
How to balance your own insecurities while trying to educate and encourage your child
Recognizing the connection between mom guilt and shame to deeply held beliefs and wounds
The importance of healing and showing compassion towards oneself
Implementing steps to overcome feelings of inadequacy and promote self-acceptance

I need you to know that you are not alone and you're not a bad mom. You are good enough, even in your weaknesses, trauma, and moments of losing your temper. God made you their mother for a reason, and you are the right woman for the job. Embrace your journey with confidence.

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

FULL SHOW NOTES

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com.

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook.

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to the Choosing To Heal podcast!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the show and keep future content coming!

5. Can People Change? It Depends. Here's Why.

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 04:00:00 -0400

Can people change? In this episode, I'm going to be sharing my thoughts and my answer might surprise you.

In this episode:

Questions to consider if you want someone to change
WHY we want them to change to begin with
What happens when you try to change someone
What motivates people to change
How you may have ended up in a relationship with unmet needs
The importance of shared core values in relationships to prevent conflicts arising from unmet needs
The role our past trauma and subconscious plays
Accepting them where they are, and what that means for you
Taking accountability for your own growth and healing

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

Grab your FREE Core Values Workbook HERE.
FULL SHOW NOTES

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com.

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook.

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider.

Thank you for listening to the Choosing To Heal podcast!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the show and keep future content coming!

4. How to Respond, Not React: Choosing To Heal in 4 Simple Steps

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 04:00:00 -0400

Are you tired of reacting in ways that don't serve you? Do you feel like you're stuck in patterns that are holding you back from living a fulfilling and authentic life?

In this podcast episode, I share the four steps of the healing process that can help you break free from these patterns and create a life that aligns with your values and beliefs. Using this healing process, you can finally get unstuck. Listen to learn more about how to implement these steps in your own life.

In this episode, we cover:

4 simple steps to help you respond in a healthy way, rather than reacting in a triggered state
How the coping mechanisms developed during childhood carry over and affect our adulthood experiences
How healing begins with acknowledging that you have acting out patterns and unhelpful reactions that aren’t serving you
Why creating distance and separation between your thoughts, emotions, and subsequent reactions is vital to your healing journey
The importance of taking accountability for yourself and your reactions
The importance of overcoming the victim mindset
The power in the pause
How journaling can help you process the different stages in your healing journey

If you're feeling stuck in patterns that don't serve you, remember that change is possible. By following the four steps of the healing process outlined in this episode, you can create a more fulfilling and authentic life for yourself. It may not be easy, and you may slip back into old patterns, but with persistence and determination, you can make positive changes and live the life you truly want. So take that first step today towards healing and creating the life you deserve.

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Grab your FREE Journal Prompt & Feelings Wheel here.
FULL SHOW NOTES

Connect with Monica

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to the Choosing To Heal podcast!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the show and keep future content coming!

3. The MLM Stigma & Letting Go of What People Think with Amy Bernhard

Wed, 28 Jun 2023 04:00:00 -0400

I am absolutely thrilled to share my very first guest interview with my wonderful friend Amy Bernhard! I have been following Amy for over 10 years and have had the privilege of witnessing her inner transformation from body-building and gaining her worth in external achievements, to healing from the inside out and finding her authentic voice. Today's episode is packed with insightful conversations on various topics, including the MLM stigma, people-pleasing, and the freeing act of letting go of others' opinions.

In this episode we cover:

The common assumptions about the Multi Level Marketing (MLM) industry and where they come from
The two main fears that hold people back: fear of what others will think and fear of failure
The nervous system's goals: to keep one safe and seek connection
How disconfirming experiences can help us overcome our fears and limiting beliefs
The importance of speaking out, being authentic and getting out of your comfort zone
the negative consequences of putting our worth and value in external achievements
Healing core wounds and inner child work
How to overcome patterns of people-pleasing and not feeling good enough

Get ready for an engaging and empowering episode as we learn valuable lessons for overcoming people pleasing, healing the core wound it stems from and living an authentic life.

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

FULL SHOW NOTES
Connect with Amy on Instagram
Connect with Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.
Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider
Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Thank you for listening to the Choosing To Heal podcast!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the show and keep future content coming!

2. My Story: Choosing To Heal From Betrayal Trauma

Wed, 28 Jun 2023 03:00:00 -0400

In today’s episode, I dive into a deeply personal and transformative story that has had an immense impact on the person I am today. This experience also served as a profound lesson on grief, pain, and the unavoidable role they play.

This raw, vulnerable episode describes the impact that infidelity, addiction and pornography had on all areas of my life.

It's important for me to clarify that this episode is not about bashing my former husband or expressing anger towards him. It is about sharing my personal story of healing with utmost respect for both of us.

This story focuses on the profound healing process that followed. It explores the aftermath of betrayal, the trauma endured, and the significant impact it had on my identity and sense of self-worth. This is a story of my healing, my journey towards reclaiming my strength, overcoming resentment, and my path to finding joy and peace.

In this episode we cover:

How betrayal can have serious consequences and losses beyond emotional pain
Specific descriptions and examples of betrayal trauma symptoms
What the 10 ‘Domains of Impact’ are and how the impact of betrayal transforms over time
Personal “before and after” examples
the importance of seeking support, both from professionals and loved ones
The role of personal responsibility and accountability in healing
the importance of choosing to heal and prioritize self-care in the face of overwhelming pain and trauma
How moving past bitterness and resentment is one of the most difficult parts of healing
The hope and possibility that exists for your future if you choose to heal
The personal growth and reflections I had through this life experience

Join me as I navigate the complexities of healing from betrayal, unravel the layers of trauma, and discover the profound transformation that emerges from the process. This episode is an intimate exploration of my own growth, resilience, and the pursuit of inner healing.

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Grab your FREE Stages of Betrayal Trauma Guide here.
FULL SHOW NOTES

Connect with Monica:

Follow Monica on Instagram , Facebook and TikTok.

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook

Join Monica’s email list to become an exclusive insider

Thank you for listening to the Choosing To Heal podcast!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe & leave a review to help support the show and keep future content coming!

1. My Story: Choosing To Heal from Burnout & People Pleasing

Wed, 28 Jun 2023 02:00:00 -0400

Welcome to the very first episode of the Choosing to Heal podcast!

In today’s episode, I want to share a personal story from the very beginning of my healing journey. It is about being at the height of my career, yet feeling overwhelmed, burnt out and scared to let other people down.

By learning how to overcome burnout and being a chronic people pleaser, I learned the importance of setting boundaries and where I drew my identity and worth from.

In this episode, I hope to empower you to say no, to not burn the candle at both ends, and to prioritize what truly matters.

Make sure to listen to Episode 2 for Part 2 of my story: Choosing To Heal from Betrayal Trauma.

In this episode we cover:

My personal journey from burnout and being a chronic people pleaser to learning the importance of setting boundaries
How at the height of my career success, I was at my lowest
Where the desire to people please stems and originates from
The negative consequences of seeking external validation and having poor boundaries
The importance of maintaining work-life balance, setting healthy boundaries, and putting family first
The power of vulnerability, and how opening up about personal struggles can lead to greater connection and influence with others
How difficult seasons can be bittersweet, as they can lead to valuable life lessons and personal growth

It is possible to go from burnout to boundaries by learning the skills to manage the urge to people please and control everything. It’s about accepting what we can control and letting go of what we cannot. Join me on this incredible journey of personal growth, resilience, and self-discovery as we explore the power of choosing to heal.

Resources and links mentioned in this episode

Get my FREE “How To Say NO” Boundary Guide HERE.
FULL SHOW NOTES

Connect with Monica:

Welcome to Choosing to Heal with Monica Leigh!

Fri, 09 Jun 2023 11:00:00 -0400

Welcome to Choosing To Heal with Monica Leigh, where small talk is out and deep discussions are in.

On this podcast, Monica gets vulnerable and shares insights, tangible tips, and lessons she has learned over the years. She also invites other guests with inspirational stories of growth and healing onto the show.

After doing extensive recovery work to heal betrayal trauma (which included wounds that existed long before that too), Monica learned skills that transformed the relationship she has with herself and others, for the better. Hitting rock bottom in her marriage left her broken and desperate enough to dig deep and begin her lifelong journey of healing. Overcoming betrayal ended up being the best worst thing to happen, as it gave her the gift of perspective that she now hopes to share with others.

Each episode will help you maximize your potential and live a life with intention and purpose. Because healing is woven into every single aspect of our lives, no topic is off limits. From mental, emotional and physical wellness, to relationships, faith and business, the goal is always the same: We're choosing to heal, grow and thrive each day.

New episodes every Wednesday.
If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe & leave a review!

To learn more about Monica, dive further into topics mentioned, or to submit a topic/guest request, visit her website at www.monicaleighblog.com

Connect with her on Instagram and Facebook @monicaleighblog

Follow the podcast @choosing2heal