The Cook Who Can't Eat

Home Again

Wed, 17 Apr 2024 15:00:00 -0700

Today we delve into the dynamics of older kids coming home for the summer and the sometimes-unforeseen complications. Unspoken expectations, mutual respect, and finding a balance are at the forefront of this conversation. Discover the secrets to a smooth transition back home, from open communication to setting boundaries on significant others. Plus, learn about the importance of pitching in and offering grace to younger siblings during this period of adjustment. Stay tuned for the 'secret sauce' that can help with the trickiest part of the whole process!

As you prepare for the summer ahead, embrace the joys and challenges of having older kids back home, and cherish the moments of togetherness that this season brings. Happy homecoming!

The Cook Who Can't Eat podcast is brought to you by Holly at Well Blended Life. Find us at www.wellblendedlife.com or on your favorite social site.

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The Unseen Silent and Deadly Battle, Reality of Medical Fatigue and Chronic Illness Burnout, Chronic Illness and Disability 101 - Chapter 8

Wed, 27 Mar 2024 13:00:00 -0700

Today's episode is a raw and honest reflection of not just my personal journey, but the battle chronic illness patients face navigating the complexities of sustaining life when it becomes a daily battle.

From the meticulous routines of nutrition and hydration to the intricate balancing act of managing symptoms and treatments, today's episode paints a vivid picture of a life where even the most basic functions demand unwavering attention and effort. The simple question of "how are you" takes on a new weight when staying alive is not a given but a conscious effort.

As the layers of this reality unfolds, you see the toll that chronic illness takes on every aspect of a person's life. The relentless cycle of appointments, treatments, and advocacy becomes a consuming reality, overshadowing moments of respite and normalcy.

This honest account delves into the depths of burnout, a place where the essence of self is challenged, and the battle becomes internal. The struggle to be seen as a person amidst a sea of symptoms and treatments becomes a poignant theme in her narrative.

Amidst the shadows of medical fatigue and burnout, finding coping mechanisms and strategies, the importance of a supportive community, having a trusted ally, and carving out moments of respite emerge as crucial elements in navigating the challenges of chronic illness. Never forgetting the significance of self-compassion and the power of time in understanding and overcoming the insurmountable hurdles of medical fatigue.

The need for empathy, validation, and a listening ear echoes throughout this truth as we shed light on the complexities of living in survival mode. This call to redefine life amidst the chaos of chronic illness resonates with a universal truth—that every individual deserves to be seen, heard, and valued beyond their medical conditions.

Thank you for being here, my friend.

Words Can Break as Violently as Sticks and Stones, The Legal Talk Part 4

Wed, 20 Mar 2024 15:00:00 -0700

We grew up hearing, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” It’s a load of shit, but the lesson was that what we or others say is “harmless”. That wasn’t true then, and it’s even less true now. Our online world exposes us to a never-ending onslaught of words, images, and videos 24/7. “Reality” seems to start online, especially for our kids, and the anonymity provided by the internet means the world and the messages are harsher than ever and impossible for anyone to escape.

Our digital footprints have real-life implications, and in this episode we are discussing the urgent need for parental guidance on navigating the legal minefield of online behavior, urging families to engage in crucial conversations that could safeguard our teens' digital and real world futures.

Many believe the First Amendment is blanket permission to say what they want, when they want, and to whomever they want, but that is NOT how it works. Let’s examine this digital realm where every keystroke holds the power to change someone’s life for better or worse.

#raisinggoodhumans #parenting #raisingteens #raisingteensandtweens #onlinesafety #onlinebullying #consequences #digitalparenting

Intimacy, Don't Let Young Romance Become Life-Long Registry

Wed, 13 Mar 2024 15:00:00 -0700

In the third part of 'The Legal Talk' series, the conversation tackles the complexities and severe legal implications of high school romances and intimacy among minors.

We are sharing real life stories of minors who faced severe consequences for a consensual relationship, illustrating the stark reality of how minors can be subjected to life-altering penalties, including registration as sex offenders. It further explains the broader societal implications, including the dangers registered minors face and the challenges in navigating life under such scrutiny.

The video also covers bizarre ways individuals can end up on the sex offender registry, emphasizing the importance of understanding and discussing sexual consent laws with children.

We are also talking about sex trafficking, how parents and guardians can proactively educate and protect their kids in an increasingly connected and complex world. The aim is to make viewers aware of the harsh realities of legal consequences for minors and the importance of open conversations about intimacy, consent, and online safety.

Sexting & Texting, S-x Crimes Where Consent Doesn't Matter - The Legal Talk Part 2

Wed, 06 Mar 2024 08:00:00 -0700

Welcome to "The Legal Talk - Part 2, Sexting & Texting, the Sex Crime where Consent Doesn’t Matter". In today's eye-opening episode, we're going to uncover the harsh realities of sexting and the legal minefield our teens navigate every time they open their phone, connect to wifi, or use any kind of technology.

We will continue the discussion on the legalities around sexting and intimate relationships between minors and between minors and adults. As much as we think we may know the dangers, technology is out pacing our efforts. During this crucial conversation, we’re talking everything from heartbreaking real-life examples to invaluable advice, making this episode a must-listen for every parent that wants to ensure their child’s life isn’t permanently derailed before it even really begins.

This is a lot more than just a safety discussion, we are talking about how to take action NOW to safeguard your loved ones and their futures.

#raisinggoodhumans #raisingteensandtweens #parenting #onlinesafety #teens #textingtips

The Legal Talk, Part 1, Kids and Consequences

Wed, 28 Feb 2024 13:00:00 -0700

In this captivating episode, we unveil the eye-opening truth about 'The Legal Talk' every parent needs to have with their kids. Don't miss out on this crucial conversation that can protect your child's future. Join us as we delve into the laws and legal landscape, uncovering the hidden risks of the online world and how they can have severe consequences. Tune in now and equip yourself with the knowledge to safeguard your children from the unforeseen dangers that await them.

Our connected world can leave parents blind to what our kids are really seeing and hearing, which makes protecting and educating them even harder. It's astonishing how many kids think that if something happens online there won't be "real world" consequences.

Most of us trying to raise good humans did not have this conversation when we were younger, because it wasn't part of our world. Now it is getting to kids early and faster than we can keep up. What's worse is as soon as we think we know what's out there, everything has already changed. However, there are ways to fight this without focusing on what's there or what's coming.

From real-life stories of digital pitfalls to empowering legal facts, this is the first episode in a three-part series that you can't afford to miss!

00:02 Introduction: The Importance of 'The Legal Talk'

00:55 Understanding the Legal Landscape for Kids

01:49 The Dangers of the Digital World

02:15 A Real-Life Story: Dealing with False Accusations

05:00 The Impact of Online Actions on Real Life

10:31 The Power of Life360: A Personal Experience

11:46 Teaching Kids About Everyday Laws

15:11 Raising Good Humans in a Digital Age

16:32 Conclusion and Preview of the Next Episode

Help me keep ALL our kids safe online and in "real" life. They deserve a childhood free that doesn't end with life long consequences.

#motherhood #parenting #raisinggoodhumans #onlinepreditors #protectingkids #digital #legaltalk #thecookwhocanteat #wellblendedlife #onlinesafety #socialmedia

Teaching What We Used to Learn

Wed, 21 Feb 2024 08:00:00 -0700

What happened to Home Ec? It used to be a mandatory part of our education, and while the class has seemingly disappeared the need for the skills has not.

Parents have to find new ways to impart crucial life skills such as cooking, budgeting, home maintenance, and work etiquette to teens who would rather order DoorDash.

As education systems shifted focus away from well-rounded curriculums and focused on standardized testing results and STEM fields, courses like Home Ec were sidelined. The practicality of Home Ec in real-life contexts and its role in shaping independent, well-rounded adults is sorely missed.

Rather than skip teaching teens these skills, we started looking for "Home Ec Moments." Basically opportunities to teach kids important life skills without them feeling like they are learning! We are all trying to raise good humans, and making sure our kids have the skills needed to be independent and contributing members of society is a big part of that!

In this episode, I share what "Home Ec Moments" are, and how I am going to share what worked for us with you! Every kid is different, every family is different, but we can all use the help, support, and someone to laugh with while we raise kids in this crazy time. I think it's going to be a lot of fun, and I hope you will join us!

"Home Ec Moment" videos will be shared on social channels and YouTube, and I can't wait to hear what you think and what skills you think teens need to learn.

00:00 Introduction: The Disappearance of Home Economics
00:20 The Evolution of Home Economics
01:01 The Impact of Standardized Testing on Home Economics
02:48 The Consequences of Losing Home Economics
03:34 The Practicality of Home Economics
04:11 The Teenage Perspective on Home Economics
04:43 Alternative Ways to Teach Home Economics
05:40 The Power of 'Home Ec Moments'
06:27 Examples of Successful 'Home Ec Moments'
09:43 The Unintended Consequences of Losing Home Economics
10:38 Conclusion: The Need for a Renewed Focus on Home Economics

When Kidnapping is Legal - Part 2

Wed, 07 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0700

Welcome back! We are picking up where we left off last week with the reality of medical kidnapping - a practice where a state falsely assumes custody over individuals through manipulation of protection laws, with part 2 of “When Kidnapping is Legal.”

In this episode we will find out what happened to Marty for helping Justina and her family, real-life stories of families wrongfully separated due to perceived medical negligence or misconduct, and the impact that these situations have on parents and children alike. We are also breaking down the political and social influences, including a piece of legislation that has made separating families easier - the AFSAct. Finally, we are sharing 10 things you need to know in any medical situation to keep you and your family safe.

Medical kidnapping does not discriminate, so don’t miss the opportunity to learn how to keep your loved ones safe.

00:00 Introduction to Medical Kidnapping
00:52 The Devastating Impact of Medical Kidnapping
03:36 The Hernandez Family's Nightmare
13:57 The Unfair Trial of Martin Gottsville
24:32 The Dixon Family's Struggle Against Medical Kidnapping
28:43 Alyssa's Escape from Mayo Clinic
34:55 The Mysterious Case of Alyssa and the Mayo Clinic
38:32 The Tragic Story of Xavier and the Memphis DCS
41:08 Sierra Riddle's Fight for Her Son's Health
45:19 The Unfortunate Case of Rebecca Ferrell and Her Senior Patients
46:24 The Struggle of Anna and Alex for Their Baby Sammy
48:59 Dwight Mitchell's Battle Against Dakota County and the State of Minnesota
51:21 Mary Ann's Fight for Her Daughter Ariana
56:26 Understanding Medical Kidnapping and How to Prevent It
01:01:53 The Importance of Advocacy and Legal Support
01:09:14 The Need for System Reform and Continued Discussion
01:11:01 Conclusion: Sharing Stories and Spreading Awareness

When Kidnapping is Legal - Part 1

Wed, 07 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This episode of The Cook Who Can't Eat delves into the disturbing topic of medical kidnapping that few understand and even fewer realize how easily it can happen to anyone. With a history dating back to 1706 and its terrifying prevalence today, there is a lot to discuss including things you can do NOW to protect your family. The discussion reveals the shocking discoveries of medical professionals disregarding parental rights, subjecting children to unneeded treatments, and in some cases, causing irreparable physical and psychological harm. The episode underscores the importance of empowering oneself with knowledge to prevent such situations, heavily emphasizing a patient's rights and the importance of advocacy with 10 things you MUST know to keep your family safe in any emergency or medical situation.

TRIGGER WARNING: There are several potentially disturbing topics discussed in the episode, so please listen with caution.

00:04 Introduction to Medical Kidnapping

00:56 Understanding Medical Advocacy and Its Challenges

01:33 The Heartbreaking Case of Maya

05:10 The Complexities and Consequences of Medical Kidnapping

06:29 The Role of State and Medical Institutions in Medical Kidnapping

14:14 Things You Can Do Now to Protect Your Family including Measures and Awareness

15:44 Theories Behind Medical Kidnapping

17:12 The Importance of Self-Advocacy and Trust

17:58 Real Stories of Medical Kidnapping

34:18 The Unjust Separation of Jodi and Her Newborn

37:56 The Struggles of Erika and Cleve with Home Birth

43:58 The Heartbreaking Story of Michelle and Isaiah

52:09 The Unfair Treatment of Jacob and His Parents

54:50 The Unfortunate Case of Saisha Mercado and Her Children

01:00:39 The Disturbing Experience of Justina and Her Family

01:06:36 The Consequences of Fighting for Justice: Martin's Story

01:13:31 The Importance of Awareness and Safety in Medical Settings

Holiday CookEase...It's NOT What You Think, plus How to Communicate Boundaries to Friends and Family

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 17:00:00 -0700

We need to talk about holiday cooking, but IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK! Stay with me for a few minutes and I will prove it to you.

There are a million little things that add up to a LOT during the holidays. When you are little, the holidays can seem so magical. When you are an adult, especially a parent, holidays are making magic…which is exhausting. I figured out how to make the holiday cooking a LOT easier making the holidays more enjoyable.

We all have an ideal or fantasy version of what we wish our holidays could be, but the reality is more like…not enough hours in the day, weekends packed with holiday obligations, urgent runs to the store, out of stock issues, even attempting to make everyone’s favorite foods in a kitchen that suddenly feels too small or not properly equipped.

I have always LOVED cooking for the holidays, but even before my body exploded, I realized I don’t want to spend my entire holiday in the kitchen, especially since I don’t allow anyone else in there! Ha! I was missing hours of time with them to cook a meal that takes less than 30 mins to eat but twice that to clean up.

I deserve to enjoy my holidays and to make it through them. We all do! But unless we change what we’ve always done, that won’t happen. I wanted to find another way, so I looked hard at the entire process, and I found ways to make the holiday cooking A LOT easier, AKA CookEase! This process is repeatable and adjustable to meet the changing needs of your family. It will also give you back time, energy, and money during the busy holiday season.

Still with me? I told you; this isn’t what you think!

There are 4 parts to Holiday CookEase: List & Dish, Recipe & Test, List & Buy, and finally CookEase. In this episode, we are going to walk through Part 1, List & Dish, together. That’s it. Easy peasy!
You can do this with paper and pencil, on the computer, or you can download the sheet I use for FREE from the website (www.wellblendedlife.com).

I will walk you through Part 2 of the Holiday CookEase, recipes & testing, on socials and YouTube shorts. Make sure you are following me @WellBlendedLife so you don’t miss anything.

Since I’m sharing this with you, I figured I should also share a few other things that really help me get through the season! Things like how to communicate your needs and boundaries to friends and family, what to do with leftovers, hosting tips, chronic illness holiday survival tips, and even how to make the Holiday CookEase process help you with your daily meals during this busy season.

Thank you for being here my friend and I’m so glad we are doing this together.

Your Medical Chart: The Most Important Document in Your Life, Chapter 7, Chronic Illness & Disability 101

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 14:00:00 -0700

In 2021, THREE words almost cost me my life. Two words were added to my medical chart that changed the way I was examined, and the one word that was left OFF my medical chart, delayed life saving care.

Our medical charts have a lot of responsibility, power, and influence. Everyone that participates in our health care system is reliant on medical charts and the details it contains. It helps with collaboration and continuity of care, but it can also save a patient’s life in an emergency.

However, the one thing most patients don’t know about their medical record is that it is THEIRS. Various providers may notate and contribute to the documentation it contains, but the information, the history, the knowledge, the data…all of it belongs to the patient. This is why it’s so important to know how to manage your medical chart.

Medical charts also give patients the reasonable expectation that their record will be comprehensive, accurate, unbiased, and confidential. Within these expectations are two rights that are important and well protected: access and accuracy.

In this episode, I'm sharing what happens when there are mistakes in your chart, how and when to review your chart, what to do if you find errors, and why this matters so much!

My Kid's Answer to: 123 Rule: Love It or Leave It? With Chloe's Favorite Pasta (AKA Rotini Lasagna)

Tue, 03 Oct 2023 19:00:00 -0700

The dirty secret about parenting is that we have NO IDEA if or how something will work until our kids go through it. AND just because something worked for one, doesn't guarantee it will work for another. All we can do is try and learn as we go and find ways to support them the best way we know how!
There has been a bit of buzz around the “Parenting After Dark” and “1, 2, 3 Bully Free” episodes. As parents we can talk all we want, but today my oldest is here to tell us what it was like living WITH these rules and methods.
She is sharing her experiences, thoughts, and sharing what parents should know.
If you are a parent, or are helping raise good humans, this is an episode you DO NOT want to miss!

The Talk BEFORE "The Talk"

Tue, 26 Sep 2023 15:00:00 -0700

When it comes to "THE Talk" there are lots of opinions on what to say, how to say it, and when. What they aren't talking about is "The Talk BEFORE The Talk." Understanding these concepts will make "The Talk" and other conversations with your kid a lot easier. We've learned how important this conversations is, so I'm breaking down how "The Talk BEFORE The Talk" teaches them to keep it fresh, what no one should know, and what's in the family arsenal.
You don't want to miss this episode...you, your teen, and your nose will thank you later! Plus the breakfast burrito recipe is the BEST!

SPECIAL EDITION: Welcome, Where Have I Been, Why, & What's Next

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 13:00:00 -0700

In this Special Edition of The Cook Who Can't Eat, I'm spilling all the tea! I want to welcome you to season 2, or the continuation os, the podcast, tell you where I've been, why, and what's next!
There is so much to tell you, and I am really excited to begin. Will you join me?

Medical Advocacy: The Basics & 8 Ways to Master this Super Power, Chapter 4

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 13:00:00 -0700

Difficult turns to dangerous when the biased misconceptions about people with chronic illnesses or disabilities bleed into our healthcare system.

In this episode, we discuss the 8 ways you can harness the super power most of us forget we have; our voice.

There are a lot of misconceptions and stereotypes these groups face every day, and one of the biggest is this idea that we should be "grateful" and "consider ourselves lucky" or "blessed" for everything and every accommodation we are "given", including our healthcare.

Unfortunately, the idea that because we are "given" maybe "more than we deserve", our voice no longer matters, and the only emotion or feeling that we should express is deep gratitude and appreciation for all that has been bestowed upon us. If we get angry, disagree, dare to have a need outside of what we've been "given", or seen to cause conflict in any way, peopleare shocked and angered at our audacity. This is the world we live in every day, and it's not easy, but when these thoughts, feelings, and practices lead to subpar patient care the outcomes are bleak.

Most people say, "oh, I would never let that happen to me, or a loved one", but you probably already have and you just don't realize it.

Medical advocacy. Two simple words. A simple phrase that can somehow feel big and intimidating, but at its core, it's just people. It's patients, providers, loved ones, even communities, using their voices to promote and protect the rights of patients. It's a wide array of activities that are focused on supporting and representing patients.

Sadly, most people don't understand or know how to medically advocate for themselves. It's a learned skill set that isn't instinctual. It can be tricky and typically requires situational adjustments. However, once you have this knowledge and you understand when and how to use it, the feeling of empowerment is amazing.

You don't need a chronic illness or disability to need these skills. Knowing how to be an informed and active participant in your own healthcare helps you whether you're just starting your journey, you've been on this road for a while, or just want tolearn this powerful skill set. The most impactful tool in that skill set is your voice.

In this episode we breakdown the 8 ways you can harness your superpower to medically advocate for yourself or your loved ones.

Are You Sure It's In? Plus...How to Keep It In

Tue, 13 Jun 2023 06:00:00 -0700

Who cares if it's in? You can still enjoy it, right?

It starts with an understanding of relationships, proper storage, hormones, and gas.

Groceries can significantly impact our family budget, especially now when prices seem to never stop climbing. I always try to purchase with the best intentions, but when my body quits, or life gets in the way it’s frustrating seeing our hard-earned money turn into food waste.

There are ways to reduce loss and avoid premature spoilage. Things like temperature, humidity, and airflow in your storage area, as well as proper washing and handling techniques, play a significant role in preserving the freshness of fruits and vegetables. By understanding these needs, we can reduce food waste, enjoy fresh and nutritious ingredients in our meals, and save money.

The biggest influence on a fruit or vegetable's stability, flavor, texture, and nutrition, is it's seasonality. In-season produce tends to stay fresher longer. They are typically harvested closer to the time of consumption and often sourced locally or regionally, meaning they spend less time in transit and storage. This freshness not only enhances the taste and texture of your dishes but also extends the shelf life of the produce itself.

When fruits and vegetables are in season, there is an abundant supply, which often drives prices down. This allows you to incorporate a wider variety of fresh produce into your meals without straining your budget. You're also reducing the need for long-distance transportation. This helps minimize the carbon footprint associated with food production and contributes to a more environmentally friendly approach to cooking.

Why does all of this matter? Because when you cook with in-season produce, you're working with ingredients that are at their peak flavor and quality, which will enhance the taste and texture of your dishes.

By taking advantage of the abundance and affordability of in-season produce, you can create delicious, healthy, and budget-friendly dishes while supporting local farmers and practicing sustainable cooking.

Next...How to Keep It In

I hated missing out on certain flavors and textures during the year. It all changed when I started freezing our favorite produce when it was at its very best. The process is simple, and the benefits immeasurable.

I'm sharing my exact process so you can do this with your favorite produce.

Want to start cooking seasonally with us?
Visit https://www.wellblendedlife.com/ and sign up for "Seasonal Cooking"
Each month you will get an email with what produce is in-season and a recipe that uses those ingredients.

When Something is Wrong, Chronic Illness and Disability 101, Chapter 3

Wed, 07 Jun 2023 16:00:00 -0700

We all have that little voice in the back of our mind or that feeling deep in our gut that tells us a lot more than, "I'm hungry." Call it intuition, instinct, or gut feeling. It really doesn't matter what you call it, that voice, that feeling, is there to protect us, keep us safe. It's our job to listen to it and trust it.

For many of us this is how our chronic illness and even some disabilities start. A question that isn't answered with a simple or standard solution, but we can't ignore it because that voice is screaming at us that this is important.

So what do you do if that voice or feeling is screaming that something is wrong, while people and providers in your life are dismissing or belittling the situation?

We advocate, yes, but there is a lot more we can and should do in these situations. Let's chat about what to do when you know something is wrong, even if you are the only one that knows.

I Lied About My Age & Lemon Pound Cake

Wed, 31 May 2023 19:00:00 -0700

For YEARS!!! But it's not what you think...

We’ve all heard the stories in books and movies where birthdays are this huge transformational time for people, but that’s not real. It’s more like NYE, lots of anticipation and build up for what turns out to be a very ordinary day.

We recently celebrated my birthday. While that probably sounds very normal to you, it feels odd for me to say “celebrated” because I have always hidden from and avoided the day, but not because I worried about or was scared of getting older. Avoiding my birthday helped me lie about my age. Honest to God, I’ve lied about my age for as long as I can remember, but it’s not what you think. So why would I lie about it?

Well, I do have a May birthday, so I was always one of the youngest in my grade, which wasn’t fun, but not really a big deal. If I’m honest, it really started when I had my daughter. Then when I finished school and stepped into corporate America, my decision to lie about my age was strongly endorsed.

For years not even my kids knew my true age. When they asked, I said some crazy unrealistic number, because it made sure they never slipped and gave away my age. Crazy right?

As women and mother’s I think we somehow get use to putting ourselves in last place, which makes it easier to ignore our milestones or achievements because we are so focused on doing anything and everything for anyone else. When we put ourselves last, we are telling ourselves we aren’t worthy while teaching our loved ones that we aren’t important. I don’t want that behavior or belief to be something my kids take with them in life.

I don’t believe in wishing to change the past. It’s a waste of energy and will only ever frustrate you. However, I do believe that you can feel regret, as long as you never lose the lesson. Since I can’t go back and knock some sense into me with some of those lessons, I thought I share them with you.

This life isn’t always easy, and celebrating my birthday still feels awkward and uncomfortable, but I know that is my insecurities rearing their ugly heads. It’s a process, but I’m realizing how important it is for those you love to know you, all of you, your story. We just have to get out of our own way.

Chronic Illness & Disability Resource Guide, Chapter 4 of Chronic Illness and Disability 101

Wed, 17 May 2023 16:00:00 -0700

The Resource Guide is HERE...and it's FREE!
When you get sick, even if it is so sick that you can’t work, dress yourself, or even hold your own head up, the paperwork of life stuff doesn’t pause or wait for you to be clear headed. My condition did not matter, the insurance company wanted their documents. Work and disability wanted their forms and interviews. Doctors and hospitals wanted to be paid. I can honestly tell you that over the last 3 years there have been numerous times when I have had to deal with paperwork of life stuff while unable to take care of even my most basic needs.
Since the beginning I worked with all the doctors, followed all their to-do’s, and even while admitted to the hospital there have been so many times that I have had NO IDEA what was happening! I had no one to ask. I felt ill- equipped, bombarded, completely confused, scared, and never in my life had I felt so alone. I had no idea where to look for help which only made everything seem worse.
I have learned that there are a lot of resources that can help. Patient advocates, financial assistance, medication access, care coordination, and help you find resources to assist with the enormous burden and cost of staying alive. There is help out there, but it can be hard to find. Which is why I created the Chronic Illness & Disability 101 Resource Guide for you, Best part...it's FREE!
Each group or resource I have included are there because either I, or a close friend, has personally used them. There are a million more things I could add, but I wanted to start with groups I knew you could trust and that would be extremely helpful no matter where you are in your journey. This Resource Guide will continue to evolve, and once you have downloaded it, you will receive an updated version any time changes are made.
My goal is to empower you with the resources you need so you can focus on your care, and let others figure out the red tape.
Download the Chronic Illness & Disability 101 Resource Guide on The Cook Who Can’t Eat website.
I’m so glad that you are here, and I want you to know that no matter how hard this road gets, you are never alone.

I'm a Mom, Not an Adjective & Cinnamon Monkey Bread

Tue, 02 May 2023 22:00:00 -0700

Being a mother is one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs in the world, and we have come a long way in recognizing the importance of mams and the valuable role they play in raising children. However, women are still categorized and judged based on adjectives like bio, step, working, stay-at-home, grand, adoptive, foster, single, divorced, married, and so many more! These labels not only create friction between us and our children, our partners, and each other! They create a false assumption of a mother's qualifications and parenting abilities, by trying to reduce her identity and worth to a single adjective. When we do this, we are ignoring the complexity and diversity of motherhood.

Adjectives are meant to describe and enhance words, for moms these adjectives and labels are creating unnecessary strain on the relationships they have with their children, their partners, and other moms. It’s so dumb! Society expects us to be perfect, selfless, and to always put our families first, but offers no real support.

There is a cultural narrative that paints motherhood as the ultimate goal for women, and it has become the yard stick we measure them with. The media plays a significant role in shaping societal perceptions of motherhood. Stay-at-home mothers are often depicted as the perfect homemakers with immaculate homes and perfectly behaved children, while working mothers are portrayed as neglectful, frazzled, basically a hot mess. Married. Single. Separated. Divorced. Those are check boxes on forms, not adjectives for Moms.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to motherhood, and that women should be free to make the choices that work best for them and their families. Every mom has unique experiences and challenges that we should celebrate and support. Even adjectives like “working” or “stay-at-home” no longer make sense. All mothers are working mothers. All mothers are stay-at-home mothers. The only “label” that matters is, MOM. No adjective needed.

Mother’s Day is coming up and it's time to recognize that EVERYONE in a motherly or maternal role who are loving and dedicated caregivers, deserve respect and support.

If you are helping to raise good humans, you are doing an amazing job, and you are so much more than just an adjective...you're a Mom.

Make sure you watch until the end for my favorite Cinnamon Roll Monkey Bread recipe! It is sinfully delicious and makes a perfect snack or brunch dish.

#mothersday #imamomnotanadjective #parenting #motherhood #raisinggoodhumans #motherhoodmatters #uniquemotherhood #allmotherhoodsmatter #singlemom #workingmom #stayathomemom #stepmom #recipe #newrecipe #breakfastrecipe #breakfast #brunchrecipe #breakfastidea #easybreakfast #biomom #marriedmom, #divorcedmom #fostermom #adoptivemom #guardian #thecookwhocanteat

Parenting After Dark & Easy Peasy Pretzels

Wed, 26 Apr 2023 20:00:00 -0700

Parenting magic happens after dark, and it can change everything.
The teen years are a hard time for kids and parents, and we really thought a lot of the fights and friction with our teens was just them being teens and trying to carve out their own independence.
It’s a cliché for a reason. In the grand scheme of things, you have about half a second to raise your babies to be good humans. Between life, work, and schedules it can be hard to find time to have those conversations or teachable moments, and harder still to find time when they are open to real communication. You know what I’m talking about. Getting more than just a “Ya, “insert grunting noise,” “fine,” a head bob as they walk away, or the one I hate most “I know.”
When we lost everything, we finally realized we were parenting on our schedule and we needed to start parenting AFTER DARK.
After seven teenagers, here are the four things we did that changed everything.

Chocolate covered pretzels are the best sweet and salty snack, and perfect for late night chats. They usually require a lot of time and effort, but not anymore! I'm sharing my accessible Easy Peasy Pretzel recipe in this episode. I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!

Don't miss the next episode: I'm a Mom, Not an Adjective

Feeding Tubes, Chapter 3 in the Chronic Illness & Disability 101 Series

Sat, 22 Apr 2023 17:00:00 -0700

From November of 2019 to February of 2020, I lost about 60 pounds. By mid-February when they finally admitted me to the hospital, I weighed at best, around 90 pounds. I could no longer hold down water, I hadn't been able to hold down food for several weeks, and I could actually feel parts of my body shutting down. It was scary.
My doctors agreed that the best option to keep me alive was a feeding tube. A feeding tube is a medical device to deliver nutrients and medication directly to the stomach or small intestines. It's primarily used when a person is unable to eat or drink enough to meet their nutritional needs for short or long periods of time. We knew this was my best option, but when we started discussing what type of tube to use, I had no idea there were so many options.
While feeding tubes are meant to save or preserve your life with nutrition and hydration, many patients experience a decreased quality of life due to the limitations on daily activities, travel restrictions, social isolations, and sometimes even a dependency for a caregiver. They are also not a guarantee of survival. In fact, studies suggest that the use of feeding tubes in some patients can actually increase their risk of mortality.
Patients with feeding tubes face difficulties finding appropriate care, adequate support, but need to be monitored very closely by healthcare providers to ensure that not only are their nutritional needs being met, but they're not experiencing any issues like infection. In fact, my entire tube education was watching what a couple of the nurses did while I was inpatient, and a couple of handouts they included in my discharge instructions. That was it. In subsequent hospitalizations, I actually had to provide all my own feeding tube supplies and teach the staff how to work with my tube. Twice hospital staff has actually broken my tube because they didn't know how to use it correctly, and that ended up requiring me to have additional tube exchange procedures.
Most people have only seen or experienced feeding tubes through television or movies. There's no real effective way to explain it and you can't get it, unless you get it, and we don't want you to get it.
If there is someone in your life dealing with this, it is important to recognize and talk with them about their situation, what accommodations they may need, and how you can support them in this hard season. However, the best thing you can do is to educate yourself and others about their condition and the ways that this challenging process can benefit them and their family.
DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE Chronic Illness & Disability 101: RESOURCE GUIDE
Links and information to help you or a loved one navigate this journey. Find financial support, patient advocates, medical billing assistance, legal assistance, and more!

Mobility Matters, Chapter 2 in Chronic Illness & Disability 101

Sat, 15 Apr 2023 18:00:00 -0700

“You can walk, so why are you using a wheelchair?”
In most cases, this question should NEVER be asked, and it definitely shouldn't be asked by a medical professional that is supposed to help you. However, I was asked this question 3 times within 10 minutes of meeting the tech performing a necessary test.
This is not the first time something like this has happened. In fact, it isn’t even the first time it has happened at that hospital. The stereotypes and negative attitudes towards mobility aid users can make it difficult for people to use them, even when they are necessary. Feeling embarrassed or self-conscious is common for people with disabilities. While many see using a mobility aid as a sign of weakness, but it's really a sign of strength.
What many people don’t understand is everything that using a mobility aid can give someone. They are simply tools used by people with disabilities or chronic illnesses, not unlike the tools of a cobbler, a plumber, or a carpenter. These tools can improve the quality of life for a user, give them a sense of empowerment, and even allow them to participate in activities that would otherwise be impossible.
Mobility matters.

Accessible Cooking

Thu, 13 Apr 2023 20:00:00 -0700

I really thought accessible cooking would be this huge shift I had to make in everything I did in the kitchen. How I cook, where I cook, when I cook. Instead it was using appliances or other tools to help with chopping and cutting and other labor intensive activities. It's simplifying recipes and making sure that I have clear and easy to understand and follow instructions. Sometimes it's using ingredients that are pre-sliced or even pre-cooked.

Food has a special ability to bring people together, and for me, cooking has never really been a chore, it's how I show love. I've always loved to cook and bake, and while I now have time, I don't have the energy and I can't eat. Something had to change, and I found a solution with accessible cooking.

Accessible cooking is the practice of ensuring that everyone, regardless of their physical or cognitive abilities, can cook and prepare meals for themselves and their family.

Learn more about what accessible cooking is, how easy it is to do, where you can find accessible recipes, and get one of my BEST accessible cooking secrets.

#chronicillness #spoonielife #accessiblecooking #accessiblerecipes #recipes

SPECIAL EDITION: Dear Candace and All Other Able-Bodied Media

Wed, 05 Apr 2023 12:00:00 -0700

This episode's going to be a little different. You may have heard of the controversy happening between Candace Owens and the disabled community. While this happened a couple weeks ago, and some may say that this conversation is too late, I disagree. I think this type of conversation, education needs to continue.

Chronic illness and disabilities have long been treated like something shameful or that should be hidden away. It's usually not until a celebrity comes forward with a diagnosis that we can finally discuss that condition.

Christopher Reeves brought our attention to spinal cord injuries, paralyzation, and even access for wheelchair users. It was rare to hear about Parkinson's before Michael J. Fox came forward with his battle.

This unfortunate pattern has continued with Lady Gaga and fibromyalgia, Selena Gomez and Lupus, Lil Wayne and epilepsy. Bella Hadid and Lyme disease. Gigi Hadid and Hashimoto's disease, Lena Dunham with endometriosis, and MS came into focus with Selma Blair and Christina Applegate.

In fact, it wasn't until Christina Applegate participated in the backlash against Candace Owens that she and her team stopped, really looked at the ad, and realized what it was actually for.

Although these individuals are using their notoriety and celebrity status for good and bringing attention to the realities of these diseases and the battle, no one should have to wait for a celebrity to be diagnosed with their condition before we can talk about it and learn about it. If for no other reason, we wouldn't wish our battle and our struggle on anyone.

I ask that you listen to today's episode, share it with your people, and continue these conversations so we can help others understand the unique challenges that this community faces every day.

This is more than just an open letter to Candace Owens and all able-bodied media

Talk the Talk - Chapter 1 - Chronic Illness & Disability 101

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 00:00:00 -0700

Chronic illness and disability have their own lingo, their own jargon. While you don't need to know everything or get a medical degree, knowing the basic terms will help you navigate this complex and confusing system, and can even mean the difference between life and death.

Chronic Illness & Disability 101 - Chapter 1 - "Talk the Talk" was recorded to help you learn to "talk the talk" in case you ever have to walk this walk.

We don't want a big vocabulary lesson, so we are doing a give-a-way. Listen to the episode for the details! Will you be the lucky winner?

5 Ways to Let Them Soil the Nest to Prevent a Shit Show

Tue, 28 Mar 2023 19:00:00 -0700

You hear the stories, but no matter how prepared you think you are, when your kid starts soiling the nest...it is hard. The behavior and unrest is hard enough, but it's the reality that your baby is about to leave the nest that really gets you.
There are so many emotions involved, that it's easy to miss what your kid really needs; safe ways to figure out who they are and want to be. As they push away, your instinct is to hold on tighter, but that is how things break.
After several soil the nest seasons, here are 5 ways to help your family & your kid make it through this season, without it becoming a shit show.

This Episode's Recipe:
These are big feelings to deal with, so comfort food sounds perfect. This Chicken Cacciatore recipe is healthy comfort food, and it is a lot easier than you would think. Grab the recipe and see how it's made on the podcast YouTube video or the website.
I have also included how to make this recipe more accessible.

For more accessible recipes, parenting conversations, and ways to make life easier join me on social media or the blog.

Introducing...Chronic Illness & Disability 101 - A New Series

Tue, 21 Mar 2023 14:00:00 -0700

More than 50% of all working adults will experience a disability or debilitating event that lasts longer than 90 days at some point in their career. Yet 65% of us, are not at all or are under prepared, for disability or a debilitating event that could last longer than 90 days.
Why?
It's simple.
Most people don't know the real definition of disability, how to prepare for it, or even how to protect themselves and their family if this does happen.
You don't need a huge education on disability or chronic illness, but knowing a few basics can actually make the difference between life and death.
I'm excited to announce a Chronic Illness and Disability 101 series. This will be in addition to my normal podcast episodes, and are designed to be bite size pieces of information that will empower you if or when you have to navigate this treacherous path.
Knowledge is power, and power is how you can protect yourself and your family.

We will have some fun with these chapters, and for a special treat grab a freshly baked cookie. Hear how I make my favorite "Anytime" Chocolate Chip Cookies. Grab the recipe from the YouTube video, or in the episode notes.

Anytime Chocolate Chip Cookies:
4 tsp corn starch
3 c all purpose flour
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt (sea salt recommended)
1 1/2 c unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 c granulated sugar
1 1/2 c brown sugar
2 eggs, room temperature
2 Tbsp vanilla extract
2-3 c chocolate chips

Sift together dry ingredients and set aside. In mixing bowl, beat butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla, mixing between each. Slowly add in dry ingredients until just combined. Fold in chocolate chips. Bake at 350 ℉ for 8-10 minutes. *To Freeze: Cover sheet pan in parchment paper, separate dough into individual balls, cover, freeze for 24 hours, transfer into resealable bag. When time to cook. Allow dough to sit at room temperature for at least 10 minutes before baking.

Bonus Fry Meal: The Right Way to Order from the Drive-Thru

Tue, 14 Mar 2023 17:00:00 -0700

Why do we all love that curly fry, waffle fry, or even onion ring that sneaks into our take-out bag? Simple...it's unexpected, delicious, and simple!

72% of all households eat fast food at least twice a week, but almost every single time they are ordering all wrong!

When you know the right way to order your food, that bonus won't be a fry, it will be a MEAL. It's actually really easy and will save you time, energy, and money!

I'm also sharing one of my family's favorite "Bonus Fry" meals.

NOTE: If you want to see how the meal is made or the example details, the video is available on YouTube.

Morbid Curiosity & Medical PTSD

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 15:00:00 -0700

Impossible to look away, it’s like watching a train wreck. I Survived a Serial Killer . True crime series. Medical Dramas. 9/11. Mass shootings. Unexpected Hollywood death. Rubbernecking at a car accident. Damar Hamlin.

Each one of these triggered our morbid curiosity, but they also involved medical PTSD. It wasn’t until the early 1980’s that PTSD was acknowledged, and it took until the early 2000’s for people to realized that PTSD can also be the result of medical trauma.

A large portion of the entertainment we consume goes towards satisfying our morbid curiosity. When that happens through harmless actions like historical information or willing accounts from victims, no harm no foul. However, when our curiosity causes harm to someone or triggers their PTSD, that is no longer entertainment that is hurting someone who is already hurting.

The difference can be a very fine line, but where is that line?

Full podcast episode with CC available on YouTube!

1, 2, 3...Bully Free, or at least Prepped

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 14:00:00 -0700

You've heard about bullying, we all have. While we all agree it is bad and something needs to be done, we can't seem to agree on the definition of bullying. If we can't agree on the definition, how do we prevent it?
In this episode we will discuss the 1 rule that is a non-negotiable for my kids and contains 3 pieces. This 1, 2, 3 rule doesn't prevent them from being bullied, but it definitely will help them deal with it. The sprinkles on top are that your kids are learning about friendships and people skills that will help them forever.
After we discuss the 1, 2, 3 Rule, I will tell you how to make a 3 Ingredient Italian Chicken that your family will LOVE! If you want the recipe card you can visit the website, www.thecookwhocanteat.com, or on Instagram @thecookwhocanteat.
Don't forget to subscribe, because you won't want to miss our next episode where we will discover how PTSD and curiosity can sometimes be related.

Bullying Resources:

StopBullying, https://www.stopbullying.gov/
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Bullying Resource Center: aacap.org/aacap/Families_and_Youth/Resource_Centers/Bullying_Resource_Center/Home.aspx
The Drama Years: Real Girls Talk About Surviving Middle School -- Bullies, Brands, Body Image, and More by Haley Kilpatrick

Website: www.thecookwhocanteat.com
YouTube: www.youtube.com/@thecookwhocanteat
Instagram: @thecookwhocanteat
TikTok: @thecookwhocanteat
Facebook: @thecookwhocanteat

Introducing...

Tue, 21 Feb 2023 00:00:00 -0700

Hello, friend. My name is Holly, and I am so excited to introduce you to The Cook Who Can't Eat. A new podcast all about making life easier one bite at a time, with food, family, and simple solutions to make life easier. Everything from recipes or practical parenting tips, to organizing your way through brain fog and how to get the most out of your leftovers.
We're going to talk about it all, because everything in life is so much easier when you take it one bite at a time. Now while I am “The Cook Who Can't Eat”, I’m also a mom, a recipe creator, a step mom, a partner, and I’m also disabled. You see, my life took a major turn in February of 2020, when my body decided to just stop working.
I've spent the last three years fighting to survive, grieving, and learning as many ways as I can about how to make life a little easier.
I created this podcast because I want to share all the tips I've learned, the delicious recipes that my family loves, but most importantly, I want to help and support others who might be going through their own challenging time. Because aren't we all?
We are all fighting these unseen battles and they can be hard and scary, they can even leave us feeling very isolated or vulnerable. But we keep fighting them!
We keep fighting because that's where you learn the biggest lessons and you get the most valuable insight about the world, life, and most importantly, ourselves.
When you are in the throes of one of those battles and something in life is suddenly a little easier, it is such a gift and it feels so empowering! That's what I want for you all the time!
Don't miss the first episode of The Cook Who Can't Eat, on February 28th.
Every bite size episode will have a recipe or a meal idea with it, so if you don't want to miss either one, subscribe to The Cook Who Can't Eat on your favorite podcast platform.
In the meantime, join me on social media @thecookwhocanteat or on our website at the thecookwhocanteat.com.
I am so excited for you to join me starting February 28th! As for me, The Cook Who Can’t Eat, I'm looking forward to making life a little easier with you...one bite at a time.