Divorce Café Sat, 09 May 2026 06:25:46 -0400 https://www.divorcecafe.co.nz en-nz © 2026 Divorce Café yes e07b56fb-cc3f-5f33-81fd-7ebc58245b0c Henderson Reeves Lawyers episodic false Buzzsprout (https://www.buzzsprout.com) Henderson Reeves Lawyers https://storage.buzzsprout.com/0agql5f2fllv87htxqz0a01sh719?.jpg Divorce Café https://www.divorcecafe.co.nz Shelley Funnell Taina Henderson What is Collaborative Law? with Selina-Jane Trigg What is Collaborative Law? with Selina-Jane Trigg If you have ever wished there were a better way of resolving relationship property issues than lawyers' letters and Court room battles this episode is for you.  A structured, people-focussed approach to divorce, Collaborative Process redesigns divorce negotiations with no scary letters, no threats of litigation and no option to head off to Court (at least not with the same lawyers).  If you thought you were already a collaborative lawyer, listen up because this US import may have something to teach you.

Watch on Youtube https://youtu.be/bAtcXrT-FWE

If you love this podcast or have suggestions for future episodes, let us know at divorcecafe@hendersonreeves.co.nz

Selina-Jane Trigg is the fairy godmother of New Zealand Collaborative Process (as it is also known) you can find her at https://www.lighthouselegal.co.nz/

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> If you have ever wished there were a better way of resolving relationship property issues than lawyers' letters and Court room battles this episode is for you.  A structured, people-focussed approach to divorce, Collaborative Process redesigns divorce negotiations with no scary letters, no threats of litigation and no option to head off to Court (at least not with the same lawyers).  If you thought you were already a collaborative lawyer, listen up because this US import may have something to teach you.

Watch on Youtube https://youtu.be/bAtcXrT-FWE

If you love this podcast or have suggestions for future episodes, let us know at divorcecafe@hendersonreeves.co.nz

Selina-Jane Trigg is the fairy godmother of New Zealand Collaborative Process (as it is also known) you can find her at https://www.lighthouselegal.co.nz/

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Henderson Reeves Lawyers Buzzsprout-17063539 Tue, 29 Apr 2025 20:00:00 +1200 3773 1 12 full false What is Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) with Gaye Greenwood What is Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) with Gaye Greenwood Parenting after separation is tricky.  So where to do you go for help when things aren't working?  FDR is a subsidised mediation service that is designed to get parents resolving their own issues with the help of an experienced mediator.

Gaye Greenwood is brilliant at helping people work through conflict, resolve issues and start working as a team on the most important job in the world.

You have to go to FDR before you can go to Court.  But that is a good thing, and, says Gaye, the result is much better outcomes for children. 

Gaye has studied people's experiences of the legal adversarial system and the resulting increase in conflict and decrease in wellbeing.  She has a PhD focussed on employment relationship disputes, and was a senior lecturer at AUT in the Centre for Business Interdisciplinary Studies from January 2001 to January 2022.  She has published dozens of articles, and has presented at international and local conferences on conflict resolution.

As well as working as an FDR facilitator at the Family Dispute Resolution Centre, Gaye has been practising at Greenwood mediators since 1999.  She has been a teacher, a florist, a farmer, a mediator and lecturer…i wonder if this is her first foray into podcasts?  

Learn what to expect when you go to FDR and why you should give it a go. 
Watch on Youtube or view the article via our website.

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Parenting after separation is tricky.  So where to do you go for help when things aren't working?  FDR is a subsidised mediation service that is designed to get parents resolving their own issues with the help of an experienced mediator.

Gaye Greenwood is brilliant at helping people work through conflict, resolve issues and start working as a team on the most important job in the world.

You have to go to FDR before you can go to Court.  But that is a good thing, and, says Gaye, the result is much better outcomes for children. 

Gaye has studied people's experiences of the legal adversarial system and the resulting increase in conflict and decrease in wellbeing.  She has a PhD focussed on employment relationship disputes, and was a senior lecturer at AUT in the Centre for Business Interdisciplinary Studies from January 2001 to January 2022.  She has published dozens of articles, and has presented at international and local conferences on conflict resolution.

As well as working as an FDR facilitator at the Family Dispute Resolution Centre, Gaye has been practising at Greenwood mediators since 1999.  She has been a teacher, a florist, a farmer, a mediator and lecturer…i wonder if this is her first foray into podcasts?  

Learn what to expect when you go to FDR and why you should give it a go. 
Watch on Youtube or view the article via our website.

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Henderson Reeves Lawyers Buzzsprout-15745755 Sun, 15 Sep 2024 16:00:00 +1200 2861 1 11 full false Business Breakups: how to break up without breaking the business Business Breakups: how to break up without breaking the business What happens when you break up when you are also in business together?
Can you keep running it together?  What can go wrong?  Does it ever go right?  If you have been watching Ted Lasso, you will be familiar with the character Rebecca who in the divorce takes over her husband’s beloved football team - “the only thing he ever loved”- and sets about trying to destroy it. In the same way that custody battles can be devastating, a contest over an enterprise you have built from scratch feels very personal, can be bitter, and when not handled well can needlessly destroy assets.   Does this sound familiar?  Hear more from the experts in this wide ranging live podcast recording!

Watch episode here

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> What happens when you break up when you are also in business together?
Can you keep running it together?  What can go wrong?  Does it ever go right?  If you have been watching Ted Lasso, you will be familiar with the character Rebecca who in the divorce takes over her husband’s beloved football team - “the only thing he ever loved”- and sets about trying to destroy it. In the same way that custody battles can be devastating, a contest over an enterprise you have built from scratch feels very personal, can be bitter, and when not handled well can needlessly destroy assets.   Does this sound familiar?  Hear more from the experts in this wide ranging live podcast recording!

Watch episode here

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Henderson Reeves Lawyers Buzzsprout-15042384 Fri, 10 May 2024 09:00:00 +1200 2671 1 10 full false Who keeps the family home and other burning questions. Who keeps the family home and other burning questions. What happens to the family home when you separate?  Who has to move out?  Can it be sold out from under you?  What if you live in a trust owned house or a rental?  We discuss these and other burning questions that keep people up at night.  Advice on practical ways to resolve these issues, amicably or through the Courts. 
And  Shelley tells us what advice she would give herself if she could go back to the early days of her separation..."Chill Shelley, it will all be ok."   

Watch episode here 

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> What happens to the family home when you separate?  Who has to move out?  Can it be sold out from under you?  What if you live in a trust owned house or a rental?  We discuss these and other burning questions that keep people up at night.  Advice on practical ways to resolve these issues, amicably or through the Courts. 
And  Shelley tells us what advice she would give herself if she could go back to the early days of her separation..."Chill Shelley, it will all be ok."   

Watch episode here 

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Henderson Reeves Lawyers Buzzsprout-14484994 Mon, 12 Feb 2024 20:00:00 +1300 2615 1 9 full false Putting the house in a trust (a cautionary tale) with Viv Crawshaw KC and barrister Sam Wilson Putting the house in a trust (a cautionary tale) with Viv Crawshaw KC and barrister Sam Wilson When is it safe to put your house in a trust?  That's a question that went all the way to the Supreme Court this year... and spoiler alert, the answer is that the only way to put the family home out of reach of your beloved is to be upfront about it (and contract out).  What was the crux of the case?  What have we learned about section 44? And what should lawyers be advising their clients?  Find out what it's like to take a case to the Supreme Court, why you'd clone a hard drive, and what Taylor Swift has to do with it all in this episode of Divorce Cafe!   

Watch the episode here  

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> When is it safe to put your house in a trust?  That's a question that went all the way to the Supreme Court this year... and spoiler alert, the answer is that the only way to put the family home out of reach of your beloved is to be upfront about it (and contract out).  What was the crux of the case?  What have we learned about section 44? And what should lawyers be advising their clients?  Find out what it's like to take a case to the Supreme Court, why you'd clone a hard drive, and what Taylor Swift has to do with it all in this episode of Divorce Cafe!   

Watch the episode here  

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Henderson Reeves Lawyers Buzzsprout-13982072 Thu, 16 Nov 2023 16:00:00 +1300 2681 1 8 full false Judge Lex de Jong: an insider's guide to the Family Court Judge Lex de Jong: an insider's guide to the Family Court Does it sound too judgey to say this interview was full of surprises?  Kicked out of Morrinsville High School as a teenager, Judge de Jong had a winding path to law, but once he got there has made it his life's work to fight (and innovate) for better outcomes for the victims of family violence.  He talks about:  lawyers who irritate judges, about setting up the ground breaking, wrap-around  Family Violence Court, and his top tips for lawyers and self represented litigants. 

Do judges ever get thank yous?  What really annoys him about how Judges are represented in the media?  What is it like to be appealed?  And what would he do in the Family Court if he had a magic wand? 

Judge de Jong shares his tips for lawyers (and people) going to the Family Court.

Watch the episode here

Read the article here

Supporting Links
Going to the Family Court without a lawyer | New Zealand Ministry of Justice

Get legal advice and help | New Zealand Ministry of Justice

New Zealand Ministry of Justice

Contact

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Does it sound too judgey to say this interview was full of surprises?  Kicked out of Morrinsville High School as a teenager, Judge de Jong had a winding path to law, but once he got there has made it his life's work to fight (and innovate) for better outcomes for the victims of family violence.  He talks about:  lawyers who irritate judges, about setting up the ground breaking, wrap-around  Family Violence Court, and his top tips for lawyers and self represented litigants. 

Do judges ever get thank yous?  What really annoys him about how Judges are represented in the media?  What is it like to be appealed?  And what would he do in the Family Court if he had a magic wand? 

Judge de Jong shares his tips for lawyers (and people) going to the Family Court.

Watch the episode here

Read the article here

Supporting Links
Going to the Family Court without a lawyer | New Zealand Ministry of Justice

Get legal advice and help | New Zealand Ministry of Justice

New Zealand Ministry of Justice

Contact

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Buzzsprout-13643026 Sat, 23 Sep 2023 16:00:00 +1200 3290 1 7 full false Parenting Disputes Across International Borders: What is the Hague Convention? Parenting Disputes Across International Borders: What is the Hague Convention? What happens when a couple separate while living overseas, and only one wants to return home?  If you no longer agree on where to live...what happens to the children?

We were lucky enough to speak with Alex Ashmore one of Auckland’s leading experts on Hague Convention cases - fresh from the biennial Hague Convention Convention.  Listen for a master class on the how to (and how not to) of Hague Convention work, what you need to know if you are a parent wanting to relocate overseas, and how to write a short letter (lawyers, listen up).

Watch the episode here

More information about Alex 

Read the article here

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> What happens when a couple separate while living overseas, and only one wants to return home?  If you no longer agree on where to live...what happens to the children?

We were lucky enough to speak with Alex Ashmore one of Auckland’s leading experts on Hague Convention cases - fresh from the biennial Hague Convention Convention.  Listen for a master class on the how to (and how not to) of Hague Convention work, what you need to know if you are a parent wanting to relocate overseas, and how to write a short letter (lawyers, listen up).

Watch the episode here

More information about Alex 

Read the article here

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Henderson Reeves Lawyers Buzzsprout-13367310 Tue, 08 Aug 2023 15:00:00 +1200 3786 1 6 full false What about the kids: Children and the Property (Relationships) Act 1976 What about the kids: Children and the Property (Relationships) Act 1976 Why aren't we judging our relationship property laws by how well they protect children?  Champion of children's rights, much loved family law lecturer and family law reformer Professor Mark Henaghan gives us a master class on the laws that exist to protect children caught up in relationship property disputes, their effectiveness, and what we could be doing to improve outcomes for children.

More information about Mark

Watch the episode here.

Read the article here.

Interesting Reading:

Borrin Foundation / University of Otago research into the impact of relationship property divisions

Article from Law Foundation 2022, Adversarialism in the Family Court: ethics and practice, Dr Emily Henderson, Gemma Coutts and Professor Mark Henaghan

UN Convention on the Rights of the Child

Article about Judge Blaikie

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Why aren't we judging our relationship property laws by how well they protect children?  Champion of children's rights, much loved family law lecturer and family law reformer Professor Mark Henaghan gives us a master class on the laws that exist to protect children caught up in relationship property disputes, their effectiveness, and what we could be doing to improve outcomes for children.

More information about Mark

Watch the episode here.

Read the article here.

Interesting Reading:

Borrin Foundation / University of Otago research into the impact of relationship property divisions

Article from Law Foundation 2022, Adversarialism in the Family Court: ethics and practice, Dr Emily Henderson, Gemma Coutts and Professor Mark Henaghan

UN Convention on the Rights of the Child

Article about Judge Blaikie

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Professor Mark Henaghan and Henderson Reeves Lawyers Buzzsprout-13129724 Thu, 29 Jun 2023 16:00:00 +1200 3700 1 5 full false Understanding Mediation with mediator Tony Lendrum Understanding Mediation with mediator Tony Lendrum Highly successful mediator and ex Family Court Judge Tony Lendrum gives his top tips for a successful mediation, explains why mediation can save you money, and shares his insights from years of successful mediations.  If you are going to mediate, or are thinking about whether you should, listen to this.

Watch the episode here.

Read the article here.

More information about Tony.

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Highly successful mediator and ex Family Court Judge Tony Lendrum gives his top tips for a successful mediation, explains why mediation can save you money, and shares his insights from years of successful mediations.  If you are going to mediate, or are thinking about whether you should, listen to this.

Watch the episode here.

Read the article here.

More information about Tony.

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Henderson Reeves Lawyers Buzzsprout-12764690 Tue, 02 May 2023 14:00:00 +1200 2649 1 4 full false Contracting out agreements: do you need a prenup? with relationship property expert Amanda Morgan Contracting out agreements: do you need a prenup? with relationship property expert Amanda Morgan Navigating a contracting out agreement conversation is never easy. 

Knowing why we have them and what different arrangements can be put in place can make it a better and less stressful experience. 

This episode - with our resident expert on tricky prenups and complicated relationships - deals with why you would have a contracting out agreement, when you  don't need one, and why it is so important to do a thorough job of it.  A fair and well thought out agreement is better for you AND for the health of your relationship. 

Tune in for the "what, why and how" of contracting out agreements, and hear us ask the big question ...can you get a "prenup" without losing the "nup"?

Here's more information about Amanda.

Read the article here.

Watch the episode here.

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Navigating a contracting out agreement conversation is never easy. 

Knowing why we have them and what different arrangements can be put in place can make it a better and less stressful experience. 

This episode - with our resident expert on tricky prenups and complicated relationships - deals with why you would have a contracting out agreement, when you  don't need one, and why it is so important to do a thorough job of it.  A fair and well thought out agreement is better for you AND for the health of your relationship. 

Tune in for the "what, why and how" of contracting out agreements, and hear us ask the big question ...can you get a "prenup" without losing the "nup"?

Here's more information about Amanda.

Read the article here.

Watch the episode here.

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Henderson Reeves Lawyers Buzzsprout-12409832 Fri, 10 Mar 2023 10:00:00 +1300 3362 1 3 full false Spousal Maintenance - financial support after a separation with legal legend Vivienne Crawshaw KC Spousal Maintenance - financial support after a separation with legal legend Vivienne Crawshaw KC In this episode we talk to our hero Vivienne Crawshaw (King's Counsel) about her epic battle in the case of McQueen v Penn - at the time the highest maintenance award ever made in New Zealand - a game changer amongst other things because it made legal fees a legitimate part of a spousal maintenance claim.

Vivienne gives a master class in spousal maintenance, why court room etiquette matters, and what it takes to be a great lawyer.

Divorce Cafe aims to demystify, detangle and (hopefully) detox the legal process that follows a separation or divorce in New Zealand with the experts in the relationship property area.

Lawyers and friends Taina Henderson and Shelley Funnell have tapped into their network and bring you smart and funny interviews with top lawyers and experts about their biggest cases, the law, and what you need to know to get through a separation in NZ.

Watch here: Divorce Cafe: Spousal Maintenance - financial support after a separation - YouTube

Read the article: Beginner's Guide to Spousal Maintenance

https://hobsonchambers.co.nz/lawyers-auckland-city/vivienne-crawshaw/

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> In this episode we talk to our hero Vivienne Crawshaw (King's Counsel) about her epic battle in the case of McQueen v Penn - at the time the highest maintenance award ever made in New Zealand - a game changer amongst other things because it made legal fees a legitimate part of a spousal maintenance claim.

Vivienne gives a master class in spousal maintenance, why court room etiquette matters, and what it takes to be a great lawyer.

Divorce Cafe aims to demystify, detangle and (hopefully) detox the legal process that follows a separation or divorce in New Zealand with the experts in the relationship property area.

Lawyers and friends Taina Henderson and Shelley Funnell have tapped into their network and bring you smart and funny interviews with top lawyers and experts about their biggest cases, the law, and what you need to know to get through a separation in NZ.

Watch here: Divorce Cafe: Spousal Maintenance - financial support after a separation - YouTube

Read the article: Beginner's Guide to Spousal Maintenance

https://hobsonchambers.co.nz/lawyers-auckland-city/vivienne-crawshaw/

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Henderson Reeves Lawyers Buzzsprout-12402905 Thu, 09 Mar 2023 10:00:00 +1300 2957 full false DIY Relationship Property Division with Stuart Henderson DIY Relationship Property Division with Stuart Henderson This episode delves into when you can do your own relationship property division, when you should not, and how to set yourself up for success.  Veteran Family Court lawyer Stuart Henderson talks about the benefits of negotiating your own agreement, what not to do, and the upside of your ex picking ‘the best lawyer in town’.

Watch this episode:
https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecafe/

Read the article:
https://hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz/can-you-diy-a-relationship-property-division/ 

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> This episode delves into when you can do your own relationship property division, when you should not, and how to set yourself up for success.  Veteran Family Court lawyer Stuart Henderson talks about the benefits of negotiating your own agreement, what not to do, and the upside of your ex picking ‘the best lawyer in town’.

Watch this episode:
https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecafe/

Read the article:
https://hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz/can-you-diy-a-relationship-property-division/ 

Taina Henderson - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

Shelley Funnell - Henderson Reeves (hendersonreeveslawyers.co.nz)

]]> Buzzsprout-12127381 Tue, 07 Mar 2023 16:00:00 +1300 2071 1 1 full false