Space & Purpose

On Singleness, Dating, & Church. (It's funky out there)

Fri, 05 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0400

Currently single and looking for some perspective, motivation to hold out for the best, OR wondering how to support a friend who is? Maybe you have a son/daughter who is navigating dating and relationships for the first time. I hope this conversation provides some helpful insight!

When it comes to the unique experience of being an Elder [Christian] Millenial in the current dating world, I called on a couple of seasoned pros: my friends Karen and Serenity. (Shoutout to them for dedicating not one but two Sunday afternoons to this tough topic!)

Sustain the podcast with a cup of coffee! buymeacoffee.com/spaceandpurpose
My Instagram: @spaceandpurpose
Share your story: spaceandpurpose@gmail.com
Want me to read your story for you? Write "Minisode Story" in the subject line!

Just You & Me: Let's Catch Up

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 06:00:00 -0500

It's been a minute. Let's talk about launching this podcast, attempting to write a book and getting a diabolical reality check, pregnancy, my birth experience, and my not-so-secret vision for where this could all lead. Happy end of 2023! ...Whew.

Alexis in Oklahoma

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 00:00:00 -0400

Alexis was very young, had a daughter, and met a dream man who stepped right in and was wonderful with her. It was as if he knew exactly how to be the father her daughter needed.

The biggest thing that stands out in Alexis' story for me is her ability to forgive her ex for the hell he inflicted on her, her daughter, and the son they had together... and her heart to speak to anyone else struggling to protect themselves and leave a dangerous situation.

CW: Domestic violence, death, suicidal ideation

Sawyer in Boston - Part 2

Fri, 01 Sep 2023 06:00:00 -0400

In order for Sawyer to see the truth for what it was and disentangle herself, something had to painfully fall apart. She also had to give the right people permission to speak the truth into her life and accept it.

Another favorite quote: "I had this fear of being alone, and it kept me in this relationship where I was already alone."

CW: Suicidal ideation

Sawyer in Boston - Part 1

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Sawyer had just moved away from home and immediately made two close friends who formed a tight little triangle of sorts.

Sawyer's experience with both Madison and Ryan is important because it can be hard to recognize dysfunction or toxicity when it's all you know, you're lacking strong community around you to speak the truth, and you love the people who are perpetuating the cycle.

Like Sawyer says, "It's possible to experience good things with people who are not good for you."

Lucy in New Jersey

Fri, 11 Aug 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Lucy and her daughter were fully integrated in Lou and his daughters' lives for quite a while. Family, vacations... and eventually this led to a custom engagement ring designed by Lucy herself.

Unfortunately, Lucy found out later she wasn't the only woman to be offered that ring. HER ring. She wasn't even one of two.

CW: Infertility, Domestic Violence

Steve in Minnesota

Fri, 28 Jul 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Steve was young and had just started a study abroad program in Argentina when he was approached by a gorgeous, bold Argentinian woman. She was funny, older, successful, and changed his life so quickly that he proposed in just 4 weeks.

Not long after getting married, he found himself waiting for a cab driver to help him make his escape before his wife could return home- because he'd booked a one-way ticket back to the States.

Sage in the UK: Part 2

Fri, 14 Jul 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Sage's ex-fiance continues to push all of our patience even further before she fully disentangles herself - and her cat - and we get to dive into her 5-year healing journey.

Sage in the UK: Part 1

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Imagine finding out your fiance has committed a heinous crime against his own mother over the last few years... yet you were told just 5 days before he was due to show up in court. (When he had known this day was coming for months.)

Then you are expected (by both him and his community) to fully support him every step of the way.

Sage had already endured years of belittling and mistreatment by this time, but this turn of events would thankfully be what freed her from feeling trapped in this relationship.

Emma in Northern California

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 06:00:00 -0400

The abuse is threefold: Emma's mom, the man her mom chose to marry, and the pastor that was a mandated reporter yet failed to take action on her behalf.

Emma is now going back and doing the work for "little Emma," filing the reports, confronting her abusers, and taking the stand that little Emma never got from the adults around her.

She's also telling her story in hopes of being a voice for others like her who need the courage to do the same for themselves... and as her real-life friend, I'm proud of her and honored to be any part of it.

CW: Child molestation, parental abuse, spiritual abuse

Stephanie in Los Angeles

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Stephanie's experience with her ex-boyfriend is long and frustrating, but when you've been conditioned to make yourself small to make room for someone else for so long, it can simply feel like second nature.

She's come an incredibly long way when it comes to realizing she deserves to take up space, speak up for herself, be happy, and know when to ask for and receive help and I'm thankful for her willingness to hold nothing back in telling her story.

CW: Domestic violence, sexual assault, rape, suicidal ideation, and body shaming.

Lena in Mexico City

Fri, 16 Jun 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Lena connected with Daniel in very personal ways and he treated her like she was rocking his world. When his behavior oddly shifted, she took note but didn't have enough evidence to prove herself right... until she had a dream that drove her to investigate further and uncover more than she ever suspected.

Sometimes we have to walk something out fully in order to fully decide that our intuition is right... and something IS very wrong.

CW: Abortion

Just You & Me: Asia in Cancun

Fri, 09 Jun 2023 16:00:00 -0400

I had a one-in-a-million encounter while in Mexico this week that couldn't NOT be told.

Instead of missing this week's episode due to a crazy schedule, we're sitting down for another session of "Storytime with Sara" - and if you notice anything funky with the music or audio, it's because I threw this together myself without the usual help of a professional and finally gave up. It was either get this episode out today or wait until next week, and waiting just wasn't an option!

Mia in Minneapolis

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 06:00:00 -0400

As we know, toxic people don't just show up in romantic relationships... family members can wreak havoc and cause deep stress in our lives, too.

Mia recounts growing up with her stepsister, Hilary, and how years of patterns of behavior led to her making the scary decision to cut her out of her life. It meant drawing boundaries that other family members wouldn't understand or support, but she stood up for herself and finally drew a line.

She recounts insight and support she's gleaned through her therapist and information she's learned through research that helps shed light on "Vulnerable Narcissism" that we hope will be validating to anyone who needs it!

CW: Suicidal ideation, animal death

Instagram Account Referenced by Mia: @therelationshiprecovery

Article on Vulnerable Narcissism

Elle in Texas - Follow Up!

Fri, 26 May 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Six months later, Elle is still dating the guy she met the night before we recorded her episode... and the healthy dynamics are rocking her traumatized world.

We talk about the upsides AND struggles of accepting something healthy and healing after multiple dysfunctional relationships, and where Elle is now. This was a very exciting and fulfilling episode to record! May it infuse hope to whoever needs it, whether your healing comes in the form of a new relationship or not.

Elle in Texas

Fri, 19 May 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Warner was everything Elle had been looking for: Admired as a Godly man, a position of leadership in church ministry, well-admired, athletic, and passionate. She developed a huge crush on him after working with him in ministry, and very soon she found herself with her dream wedding booked and fast approaching.

She was in so deep that she brushed off subtle jokes at her expense, inconsistencies in his character, and the intrusive, hurtful questions from his family. It was her first time dating a "Godly Christian man," and he was telling her he was in love with her.

CW: Rape, spiritual abuse.

Kerri in Boston - Part 2

Fri, 12 May 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Kerri's boyfriend finally pushes her to her limits, and everything clicks. She's done, she gets out, and for a while, she's never felt so free. She sets out to make up for lost time until a few months later when the reality of her experience crashes in on her and she is diagnosed with CPTSD.

Resources mentioned:
OneLove #ThatsNotLove Commercial
OneLove Website
No More's "Text Talk" Commercial

Kerri in Boston

Fri, 05 May 2023 12:00:00 -0400

When Kerri met Scott, it felt like the pieces were falling together. They were the ideal Instagram couple, and within a month Kerri was ready to marry him. No one had ever made her feel the way he did.

Within months, Kerri's life looked nothing like it used to. She was isolated from important friendships, walking on eggshells, and living in fear of someone she thought she loved who controlled every aspect of her life.

CW: Domestic violence, suicidal ideation

Just You & Me: Green Flags That Led To My Marriage

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Solo episode time! After a nightmare circus of a broken engagement, what were the green flags that told me marrying my now husband was the right choice? What gave me peace and reassured me that this would be different and I could trust myself again?

I make myself laugh, I make myself cry... it's a one-way conversation about the comparison game of dating that hopefully you'll relate to in some ways. May this reach and reassure whoever needs to hear it!

If you enjoyed this kind of episode and would like to hear more, please let me know!

CW: Infertility

Anna in Colorado - Part 2

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Anna makes the discoveries that would finally give her the strength to move on, then we dive into building her new life and navigating the dating world from a very new set of eyes.

Need some hope for a future relationship? We both share about how much we enjoy our current marriages, and Anna talks about how different her husband's approach was from the very start compared to her ex.

Anna in Colorado - Part 1

Fri, 14 Apr 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Anna was young, given a full academic scholarship for college, had wonderful relationships with her friends, teachers, and family, and rocked the 2000's-era Christian purity ring with full commitment.

It wasn't until she was exploring life on her own in a different state with a new job that a mysterious stranger walked into her work, became obsessed with her, and hooked her in.

Six years later, after multiple attempts to reclaim her life, she finally made discoveries that scared her enough to fully break free.

She is now healing, married, and walking in a beautiful redemption story that we'll learn more about in Part 2... but for Part 1, we're walking through the manipulation and mental games she endured for years that slowly broke her spirit down.

Nicole in Florida

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 10:00:00 -0400

Nicole locked eyes with a stranger, and everyone else in the room disappeared. It felt like she'd always imagined it would.
At first, his charm and charisma were enough to hide the warning signs that this man was hiding a past... one that she would dig up 3 years later.

CW: Sexual assault, abuse, suicidal ideation.

Resources Mentioned (Plus Extras):
- Dr. Ramani, YouTube

- Dr. Ramani's Podcast: Navigating Narcissism

- Sam Vaknin, YouTube

- Trauma, Drama, and Life Podcast

- Mental Healness/Lee Hammock on Instagram

- Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse Support Group (SoNA)
- Group Leader's Instagram (Brenda Stephens)
- Book by Brenda Stephens: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Workbook

Mandi Pratt

Fri, 31 Mar 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Mandi had been married for over 10 years, and her son was 3 years old before she realized she was in an abusive situation and it was time to make her move.

After leaving, things got ugly, and one day, she came home to find a business card in her front door. It said "Robbery Unit", and the phone number was answered by an FBI agent... who was looking for her ex-husband in relation to multiple bank robberies.

Years later, she is now an author, advocate, and speaker, and is coaching women and teens in self-defense and preparedness through a business called Women Aware and Prepared.

CW: Domestic violence, abuse.

To hear her story, listen to her podcast: Women Aware and Prepared.

Her Website: https://beacons.ai/womenawareandprepared

Instagram: @womenawareandprepared

Kate in Toronto

Fri, 24 Mar 2023 20:00:00 -0400

Imagine knowing before your wedding that something isn't right, so you try to call it off... but find yourself cornered and feeling stuck into going through with it.

This was Kate's situation, and if you've ever experienced anything similar, you will relate to the immense pressure that comes with weddings. Kate was swept up (along with her family) and eventually made the decision she'd known she should have made all along... something much of her community still doesn't quite understand to this day. And that's okay.

CW: Sexual abuse and domestic violence.

JoAnna Knopf, LCSW

Fri, 17 Mar 2023 06:00:00 -0400

JoAnna Knopf is not only a survivor of domestic abuse and on her own healing journey, but she pushed through much resistance in order to follow her calling and do what she is doing today- helping others.

She shares her professional wisdom with us but weaves her own story throughout for examples, and I promise you- you will walk away having learned something!

CW: Domestic violence, abuse, spiritual abuse.

JoAnna's website: https://askccllc.com/about/

Ana's Mom, Elizabeth

Fri, 10 Mar 2023 06:00:00 -0500

It's time to hear from Ana's mom and gain a deeper understanding of what it's like to decide when it's time to trust your gut and act... then have to figure out on the fly how to save your daughter and protect your family.

CW: Suicidal ideation and self harm.

Ana in North Carolina - Part 2

Fri, 03 Mar 2023 06:00:00 -0500

Let's get closure on Ana's story, hear the aftermath, and what continues to deepen her healing to this day.

CW: murder, self-harm, sexual violence, and suicidal ideation.

Ana In North Carolina

Fri, 24 Feb 2023 06:00:00 -0500

Ana and her family's lives changed for the better when a new youth pastor - also a therapist - entered their lives. He and his wife became family, even moving in across the street from them.

After years are spent in close proximity and wonderful memories are made, it's not so easy to see that someone might be the exact opposite of the mentor figure you've come to know.

In fact, he might be a predator who will change your life forever.

CW: Sexual assault, suicidal ideation, murder.

Elizabeth in Dallas

Fri, 17 Feb 2023 06:00:00 -0500

Elizabeth had never felt as loved and cared for as her boyfriend could make her feel. 15 years and three children later, she found herself willing to do whatever she had to do to free herself and her kids- even if it meant starting over with absolutely nothing.

Elizabeth's experience is hard to take in, but her resiliency and redemption story will definitely fill you with hope for what is possible.

TW: Domestic violence and suicide.

Dr. Chelsea Azarcon

Fri, 10 Feb 2023 06:00:00 -0500

Ready to learn how your negative experiences might be affecting your body in ways you might not be aware of, and what to do about it? You might wanna listen to this one twice, or get a pen out to take some notes because Dr. Chelsea is a firehose of information while still being extremely relatable, as she has a toxic relationship story of her own.

Dr. Chelsea Azarcon's website: www.chelseaazarcon.com

Her Instagram: @naturallydrchelsea

Marissa in Nashville

Sat, 04 Feb 2023 14:00:00 -0500

Marissa found herself pursued by the kind of person she'd always imagined to be unattainable. She quit her job and moved to a new state to be with her, then Marissa found herself quarantined in 2020 with a completely different person who messed with her head so much, she began to wonder if she was becoming a monster.

She is an author, editor, and book coach who has written 2 best-selling books and is currently digging deep to write a book about the story you'll hear in this episode.

TW: This episode contains mentions of domestic violence.

Marissa's IG: @marissa.larocca
Marissa's Website: www.marissalarocca.com

Chelsea in Chicago

Fri, 03 Feb 2023 08:00:00 -0500

Chelsea had what she felt was a picture-perfect marriage for two years. She was incredibly happy, wondering how she'd gotten so lucky... when suddenly everything changed, and she found herself using a survival story she'd heard just the day before in order to save her own life.
She lost her home, her community, her job, and her savings... but she pulled herself out, rebuilt her sense of self, and is now thriving.

TW: This episode contains mentions of domestic violence and animal abuse.

The Trailer

Fri, 13 Jan 2023 17:00:00 -0500

Hoooo boy it's happening! Episode 1 *hopefully* dropping at the end of January!