A purpose is a form of motivation. It gives us energy to endure tough times to – so from a resilience perspective is it essential. I think finding an over-arching purpose is hard. I’ve tried and it changes for me and can take multiple forms. That’s why I think it is much easier to make big goals and combine that with finding meaning. Those are much easier to attain and set-up

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/making-sense-chaos/202109/3-crucial-discoveries-about-purpose-in-life

1. Purpose is correlated with health, wealth, and happiness.

Cross-sectional research has shown that possessing a sense of purpose in life is a powerful predictor of numerous positive outcomes. Purposeful people have stronger immune systems (Fredrickson et al., 2013), recover more quickly from surgery (Kim et al., 2013), and even live longer (Hill & Turiano, 2014). Possessing a sense of purpose has also been shown to correlate with economic success (Hill et al., 2019). Finally, people at every stage of life are happier when they possess a sense of purpose (Bronk et al., 2009).

Research:

Bronk, K. C., Hill, P. L., Lapsley, D. K., Talib, N., & Finch, H. (2009). Purpose, hope, and life satisfaction in three age groups. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 4, 500–510. 

Hill, P. L., Cheung, F., Kubel, A., & Burrow, A. L. Life engagement is associated with higher GDP among societies. (2019). Journal of Research in Personality, 78, 210-214.

Fredrickson, B. L., Grewen, K. M., Coffey, K. A., Algoe, S. B., Firestine, A. M., Arevalo, J. M., ... & Cole, S. W. (2013). A functional genomic perspective on human well-being. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 110(33), 13684-13689.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320814#Meaning,-purpose,-and-perception

Find your purpose in 5 mins. 

Adam Leipzip Ted Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVsXO9brK7M

5 Questions tip.

In his TED talk (which you can watch here), he suggests we all take a few minutes to ask ourselves who we are, what we do, who we do it for, what these beneficiaries need or want, and what our final payoff is.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/default-mode-network

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=default+mode+network&tbm=vid&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi-v6Paxd7_AhVCcPEDHactAqIQ0pQJegQIDRAB&biw=1680&bih=970&dpr=2#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:6d210ad8,vid:c71BY2RzZjY  Michael Pollan on DMN

 Viktor Frankl – Man’s search for ultimate meaning. 

https://www.amazon.com/Ikigai-Japanese-Secret-Long-Happy/dp/0143130722

(Ikigai) 

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a.     When we are learning we are growing, and whilst it may not be easy, it certainly generates energy. The opposite is stasis, stuck-ness, doing the same-old thing, decline – you can just feel the energy draining out of you!

b.     People who aren’t growing and changing, do have a dead-ness about them, and it’s deeply unattractive

2.     How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – examples, stats

a.     There’s another reason why this is important – 

                                               i.     “Learning is not compulsory… neither is survival.” W.Edwards Deming

                                              ii.     He also said, “It is easy to date an earthquake, but not an economic decline.” This applies to personal decline. Stop learning, start declining

                                             iii.     Lack of learning & growth => rigidity. “Many of the hallmarks of modern working life point to an increased opportunity and obligation to learn continuously.” The Simple Joy of Learning on the Job by Marc Zao-Sanders and Catalina Schveninger HBR March 27, 2020

                                             iv.     Learning will underpin the fourth industrial revolution 2017

b.     The Simple Joy of Learning on the Job by Marc Zao-Sanders and Catalina Schveninger HBR March 27, 2020

                                               i.     “We all know the thrill that learning can bring.”

                                              ii.     “The spark of learning joy is real and useful. So how can we bring more of it into our professional lives?”

1.     First, there is that wonderful, ineffable feeling of learning itself.

2.     Second, learning often brings with it an immediate-term achievement. The rendering of your first line of Python code; your lifelike pencil drawing; your functioning, validated forecast model in Excel;

3.     Third, there’s the opportunity to apply what you’re learning in the real world. This is the living proof of your new power, when hopeful awareness becomes fruitful demonstration.

4.     Fourth, you can find joy when you reflect on what you’ve learned. Reviewing what you’ve learned, how you’ve applied it, and how you might yet apply it, can bring a more subdued but longer-lasting kind of joy. This may be accompanied by the notion of enhanced status and a feeling of personal pride.

5.     Finally, sharing your learning can bring great joy.

3.    

How to tackle the issue/ problem – share our view on it, and the research to back it up

Habits and practices that guarantee learning & growth

1. Reflect: Find spaces to question, reflect and make meaning, maybe using a journal to capture your thoughts. Consider what to un-learn and let go of, to be able to embrace the new. Analyse your self-talk abou

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https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/14-things-proven-make-you-happy.html

Erik @ https://antimaximalist.com/having-fun/ (The 9 scientific benefits of having fun)

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/23/well/mind/having-fun-suceeding-coronavirus-pandemic.html

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I’m a firm believer in processing better when you move. There is a lovely story from the late Ken Robinson – who talks about the dancer. 

What is it about walking, in particular, that makes it so amenable to thinking and writing? The answer begins with changes to our chemistry. When we go for a walk, the heart pumps faster, circulating more blood and oxygen not just to the muscles but to all the organs—including the brain. Many experiments have shown that after or during exercise, even very mild exertion, people perform better on tests of memory and attention. Walking on a regular basis also promotes new connections between brain cells, staves off the usual withering of brain tissue that comes with age, increases the volume of the hippocampus (a brain region crucial for memory), and elevates levels of molecules that both stimulate the growth of new neurons and transmit messages between them.

2.     How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – examples, stats

-        More than 2,600 people ages 60 and older reported their typical sitting habits (including a weekday and weekend) and were followed for nine years. Those who sat for an average of about three hours a day were 33% less likely to die of cardiovascular disease during the follow-up period than people who sat for an average of about seven hours a day.

-        Among 8,000 people followed for 10 years, those who did light activity instead of sitting for 30 minutes each day had a 17% lower risk of dying in that period, even if they split up that half-hour of activity into periods as brief as a minute each.

-      In more than 5,600 women followed for five years, reducing sedentary time by one hour per day was linked to a 26% lower risk of heart disease. Again, the hour of non-sedentary time didn't have to occur all at once. Short, light-intensity interruptions to sitting were just as effective.

In a series of four experiments, Oppezzo and Schwartz asked a hundred and seventy-six college students to complete different tests of creative thinking while either sitting, walking on a treadmill, or sauntering through Stanford’s campus. In one test, for example, volunteers had to come up with atypical uses for everyday objects, such as a button or a tire. On average, the students thought of between four and six more novel uses for the objects while they were walking than when they were seated. Another experiment required volunteers to contemplate a metaphor, such as “a budding cocoon,” and generate a unique but equivalent metaphor, such as “an egg hatching.” Ninety-five per cent of students who went for a walk were able to do so, compared to only fifty per cent of those who never stood up. 

3.     How to tackle the issue/ problem – set an alert – I think every 60-90 mins. This ties into productivity. Most productive chunks being 90 mins. I see more and more people have raised desks as well. 

4.     Application – I’ve introduced power walking – described it in the last podcast but a daily walk has worked wonders.

5.     Conclusion – where to find out more: 

a.     Check out

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“A single workout will immediately increase levels of neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin and noradrenaline. That is going to increase your mood right after that workout. My lab showed that a single workout can improve your ability to shift and focus attention, and that focus improvement will last for at least two hours.” 

Neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki. TED talk: The brain-changing benefits of exercise. https://www.ted.com/talks/wendy_suzuki_the_brain_changing_benefits_of_exercise

This is one of those topics that can affect so many other areas of our +R model, such as mood, energy levels, ability to focus, sleep, diet, joy, connection to nature

”How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – examples, stats

Additionally, a critical dimension to managing your resilience is increasing your chances of remaining healthy and staying alive! 

Having an exercise regime is fundamental to that.

“Middle-aged and older people who live sedentary lives are up to two and a half times more likely to die early. The risk remained even if sitting was broken up by standing and walking, typical of a desk-based job. Light activity such as cooking or washing-up could help lessen the risk. People who did regular physical activity of any intensity were about five times less likely to die early than those who were not physically active.”

Rosie Taylor in The Times, in ‘Sitting at desk for 9 hours a day raises risk of early death.’ 22 August 2019

Remember that from 45 years old– the body needs to maintain muscle otherwise it starts to waste away and is increasingly hard to get back.  So, also consider some workouts to maintain muscle. You don’t have to go to a gym and it can be done at home. There are loads of apps and websites to guide you; here’s one: See https://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/stories/6-exercises-for-building-muscle-without-equipment

Vitality & energy levels. 

·       At a basic intuitive level, we are more attracted to people that have healthy energy levels, whereas by contrast people that are flat and run down are less attractive

·       The extent to which you look after yourself through things like diet and physical exercise can influence the impact you make

·       To illustrate this, we know of a KPMG adviser that observed that when they did strenuous exercise in the 24 hours before an important presentation/ pitch for work, they were consistently more energetic in those meetings compared to when they didn’t

·       My example with BT coaches pitch – end of summer versus end of 6-weeks of intensive overseas travel with little exercise

Focus

“What if I told you there was something that you can do right now that would have an immediate, positive benefit for your brain including your mood and your focus? And what if I told you that same thing could actually last a long time and protect your brain from different conditions like depression, Alzheimer's disease or dementia. Would you do it? Yes! I am talking about the powerful effects of physical activity.”

Neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki. TED talk: The brain-changing benefits of exercise. https://www.ted.com/talks/wendy_suzuki_the_brain_changing_benefits_of_exercise

How to tackle the issue/ problem – share our view on it, and the research to back it up

The most important thing is t

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https://foodinsight.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/2018-FHS-Report-FINAL.pdf  

2.     How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – Huge Anxiety. Plus, relationship between obesity, heart-disease is confirmed. Morbidity and cancer less so. However, compelling research in for processed foods being pretty bad. 

What do people want? Sustainable weight loss and a healthy diet. And hey – with that more energy too. 

Challenge? Every ‘body’ is different. Me? 85% diet 15% work-out 

A healthy diet isn’t the same for everyone. Some people like intermittent fasting etc. You really have to play around with stuff. And most people have been swayed by inconclusive data which boosts fads. Suddenly potatoes are bad for you and then found out to be less harmful than originally thought. 

 We’re crystal clear on the fact that carbs from foods like veggies, starchy veggies (such as potatoes), fruits and pulses, all of which supply antioxidants, vitamins, minerals and fiber, are quite different from overly processed carbs, which supply few, if any, whole food nutrition.

Research 

https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/what-science-says-about-best-way-eat-what-we-re-ncna1104911

What can the science actually agree on:

Plant-based foods are good for you.

Reduce processed food and red-meat intake. (processed meat) 

Reduced or cut-out ‘bad’ or processed carbs. (potato chips or cookies) 

Energy drinks and too much alcohol/coffee. 

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2.     How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – 

https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24444431

UK’s Biggest ever on-line test into stress was conducted by BBC labs and University of Liverpool in 2013 and found that rumination – or continually dwelling or being stuck on thoughts – especially negative events or potential events is the biggest predictor of mental health problems. Surveyed over 37,000 people from 172 nationalities. One in 3 people with suffer from mental health issues throughout their life and WHO organization in 2010 estimated that it cost the world economies $2.5 trillion. 

Personal story – my rumination and inability to switch off led to a depressive episode where I needed help. And medication to stop my rumination. Overstimulation and ADHD – especially in kids is a growing problem – and now we have even more interruptions to deal with. Samharris.org – looks at the experience of consciousness and thinking in various ways and concludes that we cannot switch off the mind from mental activity – you can merely calm it. And I believe this to be true as well. Thoughts are always arising – and we know what you focus on grows so it helps to have a strategy that controls this. 

3.     How to tackle the issue/ problem – Matt shared in last podcast about how we develop a breathing strategy and this is our experience is critical to switching off when you need it. The next stage is to have a strategy where we populate our lives with activities which switch us off from the main stressors which affect us i.e. demands from work. A good place to find this is where we find states of flow. In podcast 3 – Matt looked into the concept of finding flow and these are excellent places to look. Flow puts us effortlessly into the moment – and typically on activities we find rewarding and stimulating. So, what are they? For me – squash, walking, reading, listening to music & writing are all activities which access it. These are a combination of high & low pulse activities. I also find it helps to have more reflective activities too – I’m an extravert so I calm the system down more with slower reflective activities too. Luckily, just closing my eyes and lying down on the sofa allows me to switch off. But what to do if you are really struggling? Reach out and have the intention of researching a potential switch-off strategy. Reach out to a friend and ask them what they do. Also ask them – what do they think you need to do to ‘switch off’. 

4.     Application – Building on the techniques of growth mindset – reframing things is essential. Also starting to realise that it is possible to calm the mind – especially through mindfulness is excellent. For a series of excellent meditations with Jayasara ( Aussie buddhist nun) you can follow her here – amazing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEfg9ZOMXiI

5.     Conclusion – where to find out more: 

Highly sensitive person blog & test with tips

https://hsperson.com

I’m also writing a log post on our website

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The problem You’ve been working intensively and feel wired. You know you need to bring the RPM’s (Revs Per Minute) down, but  when you stop work, your mind is still firing thoughts and impulses like bullets out of a gun. There’s a tension and alertness (a feeling of being pumped) in your body. It all makes it very hard to relax and switch off.

How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – examples, stats

1.     Trying to sleep in that state is pretty much doomed to failure – e.g. me arriving back late after driving 2.5hrs on motorway after a flight (could barely keep awake whilst driving, but sleep badly and feel rough the next day)

2.     In that state of wiredness at home – adversely affects our ability to connect with our loved ones

3.     Affects our ability to find off and to rejuvenate – e.g. leader – bottle of wine to relax, strong coffee to wake me up

How to tackle the issue/ problem – share our view on it, and the research to back it up

Option 1: Breathing in a controlled and deep way

It sounds (too) simple. And yes, it is simple to do, but counter-intuitive in the ‘wired’ moment.

The technique we are about to share is used by many professionals who need to calm themselves down physiologically, often in high-pressure situations, in order to make quality decisions and perform at their best. 

It was part of the solution that helped the England national football team overcome its quarter-century jinx of losing penalty shootouts in major tournaments9. It’s also used by many special forces operatives who have to handle life-threatening situations such as getting lost in enemy territory. 

The technique is called ‘Coherent breathing’.

It brings you out of a ‘fight or flight’ response into a state of ‘relaxed alertness’ where you are present in the moment but with a much wider perspective of the situation you are in. By contrast, when we are in a more stressed state of mind, we tend to focus far more narrowly, experiencing ‘tunnel vision’, losing our perspective.

Here’s what happens when we breathe more slowly and deeply:

Changing the rhythm of your breath can signal relaxation, slowing your heart rate and stimulating the vagus nerve, which runs from the brain stem to the abdomen, and is part of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the body's "rest and digest" activities (in contrast to the sympathetic nervous system, which regulates many of our "fight or flight" responses). Triggering your parasympathetic nervous system helps you start to calm down. You feel better. And your ability to think rationally returns.

Research: HBR -  Why Breathing Is So Effective at Reducing Stress - by Emma Seppala , Christina Bradley and Michael R. Goldstein - September 29, 2020

https://hbr.org/2020/09/research-why-breathing-is-so-effective-at-reducing-stress

How do I do the breathing?

A regular in-breath (normally around a count of five) and the same out-breath restores a state of ‘relaxed alertness’. If we just want to be ‘relaxed’, then a longer out-breath, say for a count of eight, leads us to a state of ‘rest and repose’. A key point: when you feel agitated, lengthen your exhales

You’ll need to do it for about ten minutes.

“In our study, the leaders who practiced for at least 10 minutes every day progressed significantly more than others who did not.”

Megan Reitz and Michael Chaskalson[1]

Experiment with it. Try it the next time you feel ‘wired’, overwhelmed or pumped, when you either need to compose yourself to make a sensible appraisal of the situation and decide on the best way forward, or you simply need to relax as part of transitioning into an out of work mode.

www.rechargeability.com

Lack of sleep will kill you quicker than a lack of food.  How many people die from drowsy driving every year in the US? 6000.

2.     How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – Poor performance, mood and well-being. There is a reason that sports clubs have sleep pods now and sleep regimes for their athletes. 

3.     How to tackle the issue/ problem – Understand the circadian rhythm and the sleep stages we need. Explain this. 

Circadian rhythm - Part of the biological clock that regulates our processes and understand how to work with it. share our view on it, and the research to back it up

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/sleep-facts-statistics

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK526132/

Circadian rhythm. https://www.sleepfoundation.org/circadian-rhythm

Tim Ferris Show podcast #521; Dr Andrew Huberman – Neurobiologist on improving and optimizing sleep. 

Stages of sleep.

4.     Application – You have to prioritise sleep. Have a consistent strategy. 

Seek out light – especially earliest in the day – is the best clue for your circadian rhythm. Follow our tips in the book. 

5.     Conclusion – where to find out more: 

6.     Tim Ferris Show podcast #521; Dr Andrew Huberman – Neurobiologist on improving and optimizing sleep. 

Sleep foundation.org 

Blog post on our website

www.rechargeability.com

In our book this comes in the section on boundaries.

That’s because, if you can’t enforce a boundary you have set, people sense that and it rapidly becomes meaningless – and you become vulnerable to the agendas and demands of others – often at a huge cost to your energy and well-being. 

It’s a real issue – see quote

“Boundary predators are easy to find at work”[1]

Source: Set Better Boundaries - HBR - Priscilla Claman 2021

Broadening it out – we all have times when we need to have conversations about issues people may react badly to. If you can’t do it, it has an adverse impact on your sense of self

How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – examples, stats

1.     According to the UK Governements HSE[2] there are six main areas that can lead to work-related stress if they are not managed properly – 3 of them relate, either directly or indirectly to an inability to either set or enforce a boundary at work

2.     According to CIPD[3], workload (59% of cause) is the most common cause of work-related stress followed by management style (32%) – again directly related to boundaries

3.     The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health has documented the impacts of prolonged workplace stressors in areas such as cardiovascular disease, musculoskeletal disorders, and psychological disorders.[4]

4.     Furthermore, we normally get a sense of whether someone is able to say no. If they don’t, we normally respect them less than people that can say no (skillfully) – “They are a soft touch” versus “You can’t take any liberties with them.” This is important because

“Boundary predators rely on their power and authority — and your passivity — to get what they want. It’s up to you to push back by understanding how to create boundaries and maintain them”

Source: Set Better Boundaries - HBR - Priscilla Claman 2021

How to tackle the issue/ problem – share our view on it, and the research to back it up

1]Recognize that you have the power to set boundaries, albeit some may require negotiation

Setting and communicating boundaries

‘Having a Plan for Difficult Conversations Decreases Stress, Anxiety’ 

Greg Scott and Wendy Malich on August 27, 2020[5]

In the book – our tested approach is OBRIFF

Application – how to do it in practice – give examples

Being able to say no is a crucial skill in maintaining your resilience charge in these situations. Here are some more questions to consider:

·       How comfortable are you in skilfully saying no to attempts to infringe your boundaries? When did you last do it?

·       Are there any people that you struggle to say no to (and is it a reasonable versus unreasonable no)? 

Conclusion – where to find out more: 

a.     Check out any of the sources that we mentioned

b.     Blog post on our website

c.     The book

d.     Tip of the week

[1] They include the boss who asks you to work the weekend you have a family wedding or the client who tacks on two more presentations to the senior team than you agreed to, or the team leader who assigns you more work than your colleagues.
Boundar

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Official figures last week showed that since the start of the pandemic in 2020, nearly a quarter of a million Britons aged between 50 and 65 have left paid work altogether and are not actively seeking new jobs. What is driving this exodus of over-50s? Much of it appears to be psychological and emotional burnout, thanks to the immense stresses of middle-age life under Covid. 

The Times, February 19 2022,

1.     The pandemic has destroyed a number of the boundaries that helped us separate work from non-work, e.g. time of work, place of work, families and work, and there is a growing body of research that is showing the adverse impact of this on people’s sense of wellbeing and their mental health e.g. global 100 quarterly pulse survey 1yr into pandemic showed this to be a major issue

“Midlifers are the group that had the most challenging of times,” says Ben Harrison, the director of the Work Foundation, a think tank for improving work in the UK. “They are more likely to have had additional caring responsibilities, combining work with home schooling and supporting their own parents, so they faced the greatest stress and anxiety.”

The Times, February 19 2022

2.     “If you don't learn to set boundaries in your life, other people will superimpose their priorities and values on you.” [Kris Vallotton 2016]

“Boundary predators are easy to find at work”[1]

Source: Set Better Boundaries - HBR - Priscilla Claman 2021

3.     WHAT IS A BOUNDARY? “A boundary is simply a choice about how far either you will go, or you will let others go, in a domain of your life. Setting a boundary is a way of accepting that you have the power to make choices, and if you don’t make healthy choices about what you will and won’t do, other people will make those choices for you.”

How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – examples, stats

4.     This is important for your sense of well-being which feeds your resilience charge. If you don’t have times when you know you are not at work it reduces your capacity to recharge. Additionally, if people are taking liberties with you, your resilience charge will be constantly depleted. 

What these intensive home-based ways of working are revealing with absolute clarity is something psychologists have known for some time — that boundaries matter.

Lynda Gratton, MIT Sloan April 27, 2020

5.     Furthermore, we normally get a sense of whether someone is able to say no. If they don’t, we normally respect them less than people that can say no (skillfully) – “They are a soft touch” versus “You can’t take any liberties with them.”

6.     Boundaries have two primary purposes: to protect us from the outside world and to protect the outside world from us. In other words, they allow us to not be harmed by or do harm to others.

7.     Robert Frost famously said in a poem, “Good Fences Make Good Neighbours.” He’s making the point that boundaries between people in close proximity help them to get along better.

8.     “The people who hate the fact that you're setting boundaries are the very ones who need them the most!” [Kris Vallotton 2016]

How to tackle the issue/ problem – share our view on it, and the research to back it up

“Boundary predators rely on their power and authority — and your passivity — to get what they want. It’s up to you to push back by understanding how to create boundaries and maintain them”

Source: Set Better Boundaries - HBR - Priscilla Claman 2021

1]Recognize that you have the power to set boundaries, albeit some may require negotiation

Setting and communicating boundaries

You can set some boundaries unila

www.rechargeability.com

2.     How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – Paul Rozin – one of the pioneers of the positive psychology movement along with Martin Seligman and known expert in disgust. He studied negative phenomenon – particularly judgements and came up with the idea of a negativity bias. We basically, default to more of a negative conclusion when presented with the same data. This is why you remember the one piece of tough feedback more than the positive ones and why you’ll remember the more emotionally challenging news stories than the positive ones. This is unsurprising considering our education systems. One of my favourite TED talks of all time is Ken Robinson’s – why schools kill creativity and he beautifully demonstrates how our education systems are set-up to find fault and problems – as they have been founded during the scientific era. Either way – out of this comes loss aversion, recall etc. So – the idea of a negativity bias has some traction. Do I buy into it? Yes – more often than not in my own experience too. I tend to automatically focus on the things I didn’t do right (webinar yesterday) and the things that aren’t going according to my expectation ( flat sale) which sucks my energy and puts me in victim/blaming mode. And here’s the issue – if we allow this bias to go unchecked it drains us pretty quickly and we can feel depleted by a depressed mood. Major link to depression and poor health and energy – and you don’t need to wait be clinically depressed.   

3.     examples, stats

4.     How to tackle the issue/ problem – 3 A’s awareness, Acceptance & Action. Realise that when we’re stressed particularly – our mind is like a Velcro for bad experiences. One thing I like to think of is it’s never as great as you think or as bad as you think – when it comes to a situation – it’s somewhere in between.  Start defining what self-love is. And consider the different ways you can give it to yourself. How would love respond say in: Thought, word & deed. I like to do the 5 things I’m grateful for, reminding myself that I’m doing the best I can do and I’m allowed to make mistakes. That I’m the one who is demanding I’m perfect – no one else. I then remind myself of the good stuff – that I’m creative, resourceful, kind, caring and funny (at least my girlfriend thinks so) and that the world is lucky to have me. I’m trying to spread love as much as I can. Go hit a squash-court, have a call with my close friends and get support and ask my girlfriend why she loves me. And maybe reach out to others to check-in. Anything to re-balance the ship as it could be a little out of whack. The more good stuff we put in the better we treat ourselves and the more energized and positive we feel. 

5.     Application – Put some you time in the diary and do something you love. Put a support buddy in place to give each other help. 

6.     Conclusion – where to find out more: 

We’ll drop a blog on this with some tips and resources to check out.

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2.     How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – building on attachments – we can get stuck and fixed on how things are. This is a recipe for early mental ‘death’. The quote that as soon as we stop learning we stop living really is true. 

3.     What is a growth mindset? “In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” ( Dweck, 2015) Put simply, it is a resilience mindset that helps us overcome challenges, failures and set-backs much better. TBH – the academic research is mixed on Dweck’s claims but the practical application of having a growth mindset certainly seems to boost energy in my experience. I think it just feels better to flex and look at one can learn or improve in a situation. There is certainly a considerable body of evidence on brain plasticity which implies that learning new things improves our frontal cortex and memory recall ability. My doctor (Audun Mysdke) always said that the best way to avoid alzheimers was to learn a language or instrument in middle-age – as the firing of new learning circuits within our brain seems to protect them. 

4.      

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20170828-the-amazing-fertility-of-the-older-mind

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5836039/

Carol Dweck (psychologist with an interest in motivation) conducted research on students and discovered that having a ‘growth mindset’ dramatically improved learning outcomes and performance compared to other students who were simply studying longer and harder. This finding has a profound affect on our well-being and motivation. Why? Because of ‘intrinsic motivation which is the driver inside us to do things without recognition or reward. 

5.     How to tackle the issue/ problem – share our view on it, and the research to back it up

 Dweck C. Who will the 21st-century learners be? Knowl. Quest. 2009;38:8–  1[Google Scholar]

 Vedder-Weiss D., Fortus D. School, teacher, peers, and parents’ goals emphases and adolescents’ motivation to learn science in and out of school. J. Res. Sci. Teach. 2013;50:952–988. doi: 10.1002/tea.21103. [CrossRef] [Google Scholar]

6.     Application – For me it is all about reframing which has been around a lot longer than Dweck’s work but still points to the same thing. If it’s a challenge or set-back – what can this teach me/what is the learning here? (cite 5 Dysfunctions incident) If it’s a fixed negative assessment of myself – I will never be 100% fluent in Norwegian/ I can learn ever

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a.     The problem with attachments, from a resilience perspective, is that, like fixed mindsets, they lead to a rigidity in our responses to situations. It can reduce our flexibility. This is a problem, because adapting to circumstances is critical to being resilient. Trees which don’t bend with the wind eventually get uprooted by a big enough storm.

2.     How this issue/ problem manifests and affects people – examples, stats

a.     Let’s define what we mean first: “It means clinging to people, beliefs, habits, possessions and circumstances. You feel emotionally attached to them and are unable and unwilling to let go, make changes, or get out of your comfort zone. It means lack of freedom, because you tie yourself to people, possession, habits and beliefs, and avoid change and anything new.” Remez Sasson

b.     In summary attachments drain energy and reduce flexibility. 

                                               i.     That can be tiring

                                              ii.     It can also reduce people’s appetite for working with you (e.g. think of someone who …) That makes it harder to get important things done as well as starving you of potentially great (albeit different) ideas

c.     Consider these generic signs of attachments:

                                               i.     If you say, “That’s just who I am” as a way of explaining away behaviour

                                              ii.     If you say, “That’s just the way I do things” as a way of explaining away alternative approaches

                                             iii.     If you repeatedly moan about someone or something

                                             iv.     If you are disproportionately defensive of an attitude

d.     Examples of six attachments in book, e.g. …

3.     How to tackle the issue/ problem – share our view on it, and the research to back it up

There are three steps. The good news: They are simple to understand. The bad news: They take a bit of time to work through and execute. The sense of freedom and life that comes afterwards nearly always makes it worth it

a.     Recognise and acknowledge that you might have an unhealthy attachment. It is very difficult to change something that is either out of awareness or which you don’t accept is an issue. If in doubt, ask someone who knows you and who’s opinion you trust: “Do I have a tendency to <Insert attachment>?”

b.     Explore the attachment. At one point in time, the attachment will have made sense to you, at some level, even if it doesn’t now. A great way of exploring this is to ask yourself the question, “Why does it make sense to <Insert attachment>?” Try to sense and feel into the answer, rather than to think and analyse. Ask the question six or seven times – until there is no more energy in it

c.     Craft some self-talk which su

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b.     Block some time out in your calendar to work on it

c.     Book a space where you can work uninterrupted

d.     Consider if there is any preparation you need to do beforehand e.g. information you’ll need or input from others that will be helpful

e.     Beforehand, ideally at least 48hrs, start creating a plan for how you’ll use the time – identify the steps you’ll take and maybe the high level sequence of tasks

f.      Once in that space, turn off all digital notifications[1], e.g. put phone on silent , put email out of office on. What else could distract you? Have a plan for dealing with it, e.g. having a note pad to capture ideas, concerns or things to do that are unrelated to the task in hand

g.     Write down your ideal outcome from this time, e.g. ‘I will have a draft proposal for client A that I feel proud of,’ or ‘I will have an initial scope for project B that feels well thought through and gives me confidence.’

h.     Start working on the task

a.     Notice when it starts to feel difficult and you want to distract yourself with something easier. Stay with it. Take a break, have a walk, but stay with the task

i.       Once your time is up, take 5-mins to answer these questions:

·       How satisfied do you feel with the outputs? (1=low 10=high)

·       When did you hit ‘flow’ (absorbed and loosing track of time)?

·       How energised do you feel? (1=low 10=high)

[1] According to research by clockify, the biggest, most common source of distraction is our mobile phone (56% of people cited it)

[1] Source: https://clockify.me/blog/productivity/workplace-distractions/
[2] According to research by clockify, the biggest, most common source of distraction is our mobile phone (56% of people cited it 
[3] “What to Do When You’re Feeling Distracted at Work” by Amy Gallo HBR December 20, 2017

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https://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2020/07/23/how-to-stop-information-overload-in-its-tracks/

76% have experienced burn-out on the job at least ‘sometimes’ (Gallop 2019 – Perspectives on employee burnout – causes at work) 

file:///Users/timfarish/Downloads/Gallup%E2%80%99s%20Perspective%20on%20Employee%20Burnout%20Causes%20and%20Cures.pdf

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file:///Users/timfarish/Downloads/Gallup%E2%80%99s%20Perspective%20on%20Employee%20Burnout%20Causes%20and%20Cures.pdf

https://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2020/07/23/how-to-stop-information-overload-in-its-tracks/

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