Vanilla with a Side of Kink

158. Pride & Pressure

Mon, 31 Aug 2026 00:00:00 -0700

Our hero, Dan, goes from bad news to more bad news and starts making decisions that lead to some difficult conversations.

Visit our website: www.VanillawithaSideofKink.com

Instagram: VanillawithaSideofKink

Also, you can learn more about our Shibari Rope Bondage business at www.AllTiedUpSanDiego.com

And our new operation, the All Good Things Center for Inclusivity and Acceptance.

Fetlife.com Group: Vanilla with a Side of Kink - The Podcast

157. Friday the 13th, the Horror Begins

Mon, 17 Aug 2026 00:00:00 -0700

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The morning starts with a phone call and by the end of the episode, there is a death in the family.

(trigger warning - alcoholism and pet loss)

156. Foreshadowing

Mon, 03 Aug 2026 00:00:00 -0700

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September starts and the journey bring some very interesting changes.

155. Dan Gets A Win

Mon, 20 Jul 2026 00:00:00 -0700

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The SF trip comes to a close and the family is back together. Then Dan has something happen that was completely unexpected.

154. Fortune Cookies, Painted Ladies, and Oswald's Abduction!

Sun, 05 Jul 2026 10:00:00 -0700

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The tail of a trip to the city on a hill. Join our heroes as they discover, San Francisco!

153. Dan and Renee Travel Excellently Together

Mon, 22 Jun 2026 00:00:00 -0700

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The month of July is busy with the Leather Realm at San Diego Pride and the Open House for the All Good Things Center. Then they begin to travel excellently together. Where you ask? Well, you will have to listen to find out!

152. Renee Starts Crazing!

Mon, 08 Jun 2026 00:00:00 -0700

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The emotional load is starting to create the beginnings of stress marks in the relationship. Renee's partners provide support and guidance while Dan remains oblivious to what is happening otherwise.

151. Considering All Good Things

Mon, 25 May 2026 00:00:00 -0700

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The All Good Things Center for Inclusivity and Acceptance and All Things Considered Counseling are finally open for business!

150. Dan and Renee Start Seeing Things Differently

Mon, 11 May 2026 00:00:00 -0700

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Life is changing, and the future is hopeful, but unknown.

149. Daniel Gets A Color!

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0700

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Multiple dates with boyfriends and a sex party.

148. Cheese Sleeves!

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0700

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It is finally here . . . Renee's 55th Birthday episode. So, what does that have to do with Cheese sleeves? You'll have to listen to find out.

147. It is All Fun and Games Until Dan is Astounded!

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0700

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An astonishing event happens at an event that leaves Dan steaming mad!

146. Birthday Month Off to A Great Start!

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0700

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May is Renee's birthday month, yes month! And it is full of celebrations and surprises. May 2024, does not disappoint!

145. A New Normal & Happiness Found

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0800

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Our heroes now find that life shifts gears as job hunting takes center stage. The poly-family continues to thrive and Renee realizes something that changes her internally.

144. Calendar-ing, Connections, and Cleanout

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, our heroes continue with their new normal and find that calendar-ing is a thing. Both kinky and non-kinky connections are trying to be made, while Renee experiences the joy of weight-loss.

143. Coming Out and Coming to Terms

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, Renee shares her kink and polyamorous life with her family. And then confronts someone who should have known better.

142. Watchout for the Ides of March, Too

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

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In our last episode, we learned that our hero Dan received life-changing news that now has him and Renee contemplating a new course of action. Plus, Renee's love life starts to heat up!

141. Beware the Nones of March!

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

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Season 8 begins with an event that shakes our heroes in ways they never expected! And starts the period known as, Season 8.

140. Oh, There You Are.

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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As Renee's relationship with Michael continues to grow a new someone appears.

This episode marks the end of Season 7 in our podcast journey.

139. The Princess Fights The Tooth Fairy

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, our princess is still recovering from her surgery, eating a liquid diet, when something unexpected cracks up! Talk about hard water!

138. Crossing the Fleshhold!

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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Our heroes cross an important mark in their relationship!

137. Renee has Gastric Bypass Surgery

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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The day of Renee's surgery has finally arrived!

136. Two Daddies and A Babygirl!

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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January 2024 starts with a whirl, a trip, and a babygirl getting lost!

135. A Kiss to Build A Dream On

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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Dan goes to his 2nd sex party and things with Michael start to heat up!

134. Mr. SirKnottyDan Goes to a Sex Party!

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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The first of December brought a couple of first for our heroes and one is Dan goes to his first sex party!

133. Cooking, Coffee, and Kitchen Tables

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode Thanksgiving and Friendsgiving take our heroes out to visit family and friends. A coffee date starts something and Dan is going to his first sex party!

132. Almost At A Breaking Point!

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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Renee visits the Urgent Care, the move goes forward, and Dan gets help!

131. As The Merry-Go-Round Turns!

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, our heroes receive a notice that brings a big change for two family members, and a new event starts at All Tied Up San Diego!

130. Seeking Out New Life And New Civilizations

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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Finn is at training, and our heroes travel for a special event!

129. I Love It When A Plan Comes Together!

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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Remember that episode when Renee talked about her dog Tranquilo coming back . . .

128. Trifecta of Happiness and Sticky Coke Hair

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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The trifecta of happiness; our heroes met, All Tied Up San Diego started, and Dan's birthday all happened in September! Plus, Renee delivers on a family member's special day with an extra splash of excitement!

127. Laying the Groundwork

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, our heroes start to lay the groundwork for some future events and our 203 event goes into turbo mode!

126. Renee was Sold A Bill of Goods

Mon, 26 May 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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The first six days of August bring life-changing events into the household.

125. They Who Fail to Prepare, Prepare to Fail

Mon, 19 May 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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Renee sets the stage for a future event as she and Dan go to a fundraiser for a local dog rescue. Plus the strategic planning takes shape.

124. Strategic Planning

Mon, 12 May 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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Dan and Renee return from the cruise and work to find a new balance in their life. They also make some plans related to All Tied Up San Diego that yield interesting results.

123. The Sloth in the Suite

Mon, 05 May 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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Renee makes a very important decision that causes her to change her mind about a specific type of adventure!

122. The Aftermath

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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Now that Renee's parents' memorial services have been completed, she takes on a new role in life.

121. Special Episode: KinkFest

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 01:00:00 -0700

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This is episode Dan and Renee report live, or at least Dan does, while Renee sleeps in his lap, from the KinkFest Conference in Portland, OR.

120. Well, We're Going to Need DNA Evidence at this Point.

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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The question remains, whose remains did she carry?

End of Season Six!

119. ". . . is a Little Respect."

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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And the second shoe . . . with a mic drop!

118. A Loving Sacrifice

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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Daisy makes a sacrifice for Renee. Renee's Dad starts to decline and chaos ensues in Victorville!

117. "All I'm Asking for . . ."

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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The first shoe drops . . .

116. Better Citizens of the Kinkdom, Part 2

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 00:00:00 -0700

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In the second part of the Katy and Melizza take-over, they ask some very important questions about the negotiation and vetting processes related to kink.

115. Better Citizens of the Kinkdom, Part 1.

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 09:00:00 -0700

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Guest Hosts Katy and Melizza are BACK! And they have their own questions about the Kinkdom and what it means to be kinky and polyamorous!

114. Hello Insecurity My Old Friend.

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, Dan and Renee's relationship agreements are tested as Renee's insecurities come full force as Dan continues to tie with Liz. Plus, one of the podcast award companies throws a curveball!

113. First Episode & Friends Galor Ring in 2023!

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 00:00:00 -0800

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It sounds way more exciting in the title than it was, but hey we published and officially launched the Vanilla with a Side of Kink podcast on January 2nd, 2023! Plus, as Dan continues to tie with Liz, there are lots of opportunities to connect with friends, both old and new.

112. Recording Starts & Renee Starts Looking!

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, we record the first episode of Vanilla with a Side of Kink in December of 2022! Plus, Renee starts to look for a boyfriend, and Dan continues to tie with the new bottom.

111. Thankful for Friendship

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 00:00:00 -0800

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Tsunamis, Board Games and Bottoms! Remember our heroes explaining how awesome the board game Gloomhaven was during the pandemic? It was the thing that they did to help pass the time. Well, Dan found another epic board game that was getting rave reviews, and in this episode, you will hear all about it! Our heroes also attend a local rope event, and Dan ties with a new bottom.

110. Has anyone seen a beach around here?

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 00:00:00 -0800

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Our intrepid heroes continue their epic vacation in Hawaii and this time cannot find the beach! Imagine that being on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and they cannot find the beach! Well, it happened! Dan's unfailing sense of direction was not working this day.

109. This Place Made Salt Exciting

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 00:00:00 -0800

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Vacation! Everyone needs a vacation, and in this episode, our heroes take one to the Big Island of Hawaii!

108. Renee's Crystal Ball Shows Us the Future

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 00:00:00 -0800

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Have we told you about Renee's voices in her head? Well the voices started talking again and she came up with a whole new idea. Guess what it is?

107. Renee Really Tried to be Humble

Tue, 14 Jan 2025 18:00:00 -0800

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Our heroine goes to a conference humble and comes home feeling validated.

106. The One with a Fly

Fri, 03 Jan 2025 16:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, our heroes are beset by a fly! And they attend their first lifestyle party. Plus we jump into different ways that people connect.

105. 2nd Podcastaversary and Hollywood Comes a Calling!

Mon, 30 Dec 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode we celebrate two years of weekly podcast episodes! 105 episodes is. O small feat that is for sure. And the timeline brings us to August and September of 2022. We get a call from a Hollywood producer to help with a film project.

104. Proudly Presenting

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 11:00:00 -0800

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In this episode the Leather Realm at the San Diego Pride Festival returns after a two year hiatus due to the pandemic. Plus we start bringing back full in-person courses at All Tied Up San Diego.

103. Affliction and Relief

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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Dan and Renee return safely from Walt Disney World in Florida, but Dan brings a special "something something" with him from WDW. Then there is a new beginning that brings a change in a nick of time.

102. Skyler Sparkles

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, our heroes encounter a technical glitch at the beginning that is thankfully fixed around the 3-minute mark. Sorry about that!

Our new normal continues to take shape as Dan keeps looking for a job, we travel to Walt Disney World in Florida and Skyler finally comes home after his epic trip to become a diamond.

101. Resigning Ourselves to a New Normal

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 22:00:00 -0800

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Well, the pandemic is over and we are excited to see life returning to . . . WTF! Yeah, life took a turn and now our heroes get to figure out a new normal that is post-pandemic, but also post-Renee's working. Fortunately, there is a bit of a bright side that comes in the form of forgiveness.

100. The One With The 100th Episode!

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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Welcome to our 100th episode! Wow, this has been a journey.

In this episode, our heroes take an epic studio tour, and if you read the title of this episode, you might get a hint as to what we saw during this tour!

99. We Finally Get A Key to the Kinkdom!

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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Welcome to Season Six! Which is irrelevant in episode terms, but helps us know what part of our journey we are talking about! And Season Six is about the time period after the pandemic starting in February 2022.

In this episode, numbers explode, life starts to return to the new normal and the renovations start on the house, sending our heroes in all sorts of different directions. Plus a miscommunication leads to Dan and Renee finally getting a key they have wanted for more than five years!

98. Rodents Of Unusual Sneakiness (R.O.U.S): Beginning 2022

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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We take our title from the famous movie the Princess Bride since Renee is definitely a princess and she is my bride! And just like in the movie there are dangers in this world that can come out of nowhere!

97. Renee Goes On A Quest and the End of 2021.

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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With her newly found freedom, Renee takes the opportunity to hunt down something valuable.

96. The Dam Breaks!

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode the pressure reaches a breaking point, just two months after the wedding???? What did Dan do now?

95. The Water is Rising!

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, our heroes return home from the Eurekamoon and come back to reality, and it starts to hit hard. A trip to Universal Studios is a welcome break.

94. The Eurekamoon!

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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Honeymooning during the mid-pandemic break was not exactly what our heroes expected. As they travel to Eureka, California for some personal time, the pandemic makes it presence known.

93. . . . We're In A Club Now!

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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The Wedding! Yay!

The title for this episode comes from the movie Up! It is when Ellie says to Carl, "You and me, we're in a club now!" And our heroes are certainly in a club of their own after this episode!

92. You and Me . . .

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, our heroes discuss the day before one of the most important days in their relationship, their wedding. If you want to know what we did for our wedding from cake topper to guest lists, it is all here!

91. Oh No You Didn't!

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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Renee's predictive powers from the last episode come true, resulting in a mini-meltdown. Friends come to the rescue to save Renee from herself and from canceling the wedding, even though Dan (for perhaps the first time) did nothing wrong.

90. One Ring To Rule Her Heart!

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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Renee finally gets her engagement ring! A wedding venue is selected as we inch closer and closer to the wedding date.

89. A Daisy Dog, A Dress, and A DJ

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, it is July 2021, and our heroine realizes she has a very short time to plan a wedding! But wow, what a job she does! Als a new family member arrives unexpectedly.

88. Dan Levels Up to Marriage Material!

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, Renee rewards a friend in a big way. All Tied Up San Diego gets a new logo and holds its first in-person event since March of 2020, and Dan completes the final piece of the marriage puzzle!

87. "My Everything" Got His Wings

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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This episode concludes our two-part episode celebrating our beloved Skyler who left us in April of 2021. This episode includes pet loss, so if you are sensitive please be advised.

86. She Called Him "My Everything"

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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This episode is part one of our discussion of the wonderful celebration of Skyler, who was Renee's dog from before our relationship started. This episode deals with pet loss, so we understand if you need to skip this episode.

85. A New Routine and Dan Gets Scene

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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As February, March, and April of 2021 roll around, the pandemic reaches the one-year mark, and things start to change for the better.

84. Christmas in the Driveway Rings in 2021

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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As 2020 comes to a close, our heroes find themselves helping others become Bedroom Bondage Bosses and petting wild creatures, and having Christmas in the driveway.

83. Finding a Haven in the Gloom

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, Dan and Renee share the game that kept them entertained for hours during the pandemic, Gloomhaven!

82. Life Moves Online

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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Dan discovers that the Learning Management System he chose for the courses is not delivering the impact he desired and makes a significant change. And the new 101 Course starts and the fun begins!

81. . . . or a Lifetime

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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Dan and Renee celebrate their sixth anniversary and there is a special twist that comes out of this one!

80. A Reason, A Season . . .

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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Six months into the pandemic, life has begun to change, much of it for what feels like the negative. In this episode, our heroes discuss the joys of post-video production of the All Tied Up San Diego Shibari training. Plus, Renee shares some very painful experiences with friends.

79. Household Woes and Production Goes

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, the dogs are much better as we discuss the events surrounding June, July, and August of 2020. The pandemic is in full swing and we realize that All Tied Up San Diego is not going to be holding in-person classes anytime soon. What were we going to do? Also, as with many of you, our hair was quickly becoming much longer than usual and we needed to get it cut before we started production on a new project. But the house also had its share of woes as things started to need repair.

78. This Episode Goes to the Dogs!

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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Recording at home at the kitchen table has its advantages, and disadvantages. One advantage is that we get to be home with our dogs and experience their love for us. One disadvantage is when they decide they need to inform us of intruders or come to love us or just want to play together. This episode as a little bit of all of that as we begin discussing what happened in our relationship during the pandemic.

77. Adding Insult to Injury

Mon, 17 Jun 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, Dan and Renee talk about how the pandemic affected their family interactions, including some rather spectacular acrobatic events by Dan's dad. Listen now to hear some of the craziness that we dealt with from family.

76. Pandemic Pandemonium

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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Season Five starts with the beginning of the global pandemic caused by COVID-19 and its variants. This first episode is unusual in that we also tried to video record the episode for the very first time. The video did not turn out as well as hoped, but we will keep working on it. You can see some clips on social media channels.

75. Fred, Barney, Wilma, and Betty Go To Vegas! (Begin 2020)

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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As the year 202 starts our heroes (Fred and Wilma) take their friends (Barney and Betty) to a planned kinky conference in Las Vegas, but things do not go as planned and COVID had nothing to do with it!

74. Beetlemania and the End of 2019

Mon, 27 May 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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December 2019 finds our hero's house infested with small flying creatures! Listen to the near heroic efforts that Renee made to make it through this catastrophe! (Said with all the sacacasm Dan can possibly muster)

73. A Bug's Life

Mon, 20 May 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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Something was bugging Renee, and when they uncovered what it was . . . the floor moved!

72. State of Our Union

Mon, 13 May 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, our heroes take time to reflect on their relationship status and all of the changes that have occurred in the first five years.,

71. Alleged Felonious Activities Followed By A Great Trip To Vegas!

Mon, 06 May 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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This episode has it all: cling wrap in the water, great food, a massive dam, bus rides, off-road adventures, a wicked event, and more!

70. Settling In

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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The Summer of '19 is a time of settling into a routine, filled with medical appointments and many other events that take our heroes through the dog days of Summer.

69. These Are A Few Of Her Favorite Things

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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Renee turns 50, and it is party time!

68. They Came In Hot!

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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This episode includes a police chase and someone loses their driver's license! Plus Renee demonstrates her miraculous healing powers.

67. Endings and Beginnings to start of 2019

Mon, 08 Apr 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, Dan comes to terms with ending something big and makes an important decision about his future. Renee gets drunk, not just drunk, drop-down, vomiting, sleeping on the bathroom floor, drunk, and finding something out.

66. Busy, Busy, Boring!

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode our heroes fully engaged in their vanilla and kink lives. Renee is overwhelmed by work responsibilities, while Dan travels for work and to meet a friend. Dan's family grows by two. A photoshoot, trip to a Dutch village, a hockey game, and a mission, along with a family member's visit to the hospital, round out this episode.

65. Renee and the Big Fat White Guy

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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It is now September of 2018, and our heroes are going to travel to the Mid-West for a bit of R&R, but the Big Fat White Guy might have other plans.

64. As Fireworks Boom the Relationship Clock Resets, Again!

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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An error in judgement creates a resetting of the relationship clock, again. Renee must make a life-changing decision and other changes in life.

63. Birthday Fun and Things Come Undone

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 00:00:00 -0700

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We start in May, 2018 which is Renee's birthday month! In this episode, Renee takes two separate trips and we find ourselves stranded outside of our house.

62. Business Travels, Family Hassles, and Neck Crackles

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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Vanilla life comes roaring to the forefront as our heroes find Dan is out of town more than 20 days in a 28 day period. Plus, Renee's mom decides to grace them with her presence and Dan finally gets some help for the shoulder issues he was having a year ago.

61. Ethical Logic

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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This episode marks the beginning of Season Four and starts with Dan going to therapy for lying to Renee. This creates a very powerful change in Renee that makes a special part of their lives very difficult.

60. 2017 Ends in a Ka-Thunk!

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, we learn about our hero's visit to have their dogs blessed. Then Renee takes a trip to keep Dan company during a business trip break. And to end Season 3's episodes, yet another relationship change, but this one is because of a lie!

59. The Celebrations of Life!

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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Anniversaries, birthdays, vacations and funerals . . . All are signs of a celebration of life. This episode has it all!

58. Leveling Up!

Mon, 05 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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We are now almost three years into the relationship and a couple of significant events give Dan the chance to level up in the relationship game. Plus our heroes go their separate ways for a weekend event and both have fun.

57. Bringing Flight Lessons to San Diego

Mon, 29 Jan 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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Dan learns more valuable lessons about the intentionality of rope bondage as he and Renee bring a top instructor to teach those in San Diego how to fly! Plus, how being put on a pedestal and being very good at what you do can cost you everything.

56. Starstruck, Starbucks, and Shaking Hands in L.A.

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, our heroes travel to the City of Angels to attend a rope-intensive class taught by two leading Shibari instructors.

55. The Adventures of Flirtyman

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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Renee gives Dan a new nickname as he learns more about how his actions need to change if he is going to win Renee's heart!

54. Lucygate

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 00:00:00 -0800

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Dan continues to learn some difficult lessons about his responsibility as a Top and how his actions affect Renee and others.

53. Learning to Fly in Phoenix

Mon, 01 Jan 2024 08:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, Dan and Renee travel to another state to learn more. Dan learns about traffic cameras and how to modify ties to help Renee get in the air successfully.

52. Our 1st Podcastaversary and Anne Angel Gets Her Wings!

Mon, 25 Dec 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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As we reach the one-year mark (52nd Episode), it is fitting that the content of the episode focuses on Dans' mom, Anne, who passed away in April of 2017. Love you Mom!

51. There's No Need to Fear, Super Social Worker is Here!

Mon, 18 Dec 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, someone breaks Rule 13 and experiences the full fury of a pissed off Renee . . . for a very good reason. Plus our heroes share some of the vanilla aspects of their trip to Vegas.

50. Parsing Our Energy & Complex Nuances in Las Vegas!

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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Our heroes attend their second Sin in the City Conference and share their new adventures as seasoned SitC pros!

49. Starting 2017, Ginger and Olivia Enter the Scene!

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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As we begin 2017, Dan and Renee decide to make one of their first large purchases together, and they become "that" couple. Plus, national events lead to a discussion about privilege.

48. The Daddy, The Officer, The Dog, and The Slave . . .

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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This episode concludes the three-part interview with the amazing Poly-Leather Family. And Frank and Dan share some special moments and realizations.

47. A Frank Discussion About Leather

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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This is part 2 of our interview with Daddy Barry, Officer Wes, Dog Bobby, and Slave Frank, who are all members of the same wonderful leather family. In this episode they share about how you can earn your leathers. Also they share about how you wear things with your leather, like a handkerchief or wrist cuffs, can communicate volumes to other attendees at a kink event. And Slave Frank shares about his first rope suspension experience.

46. Respect. Honor. Trust. Love.

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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This is a special episode with four amazing members of a poly-leather family. We were so blessed to spend time talking with them to share with you about leather. They share all about their kink, BDSM, leather family life and what it means to be leather.

Reference: Leather Folk (book) by Mark Thompson

45. Bellweather Moments and Watershed Events

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, Dan and Renee go back to June of 2016 to share more of the vanilla happenings in their incredibly crazy year. This includes Dan's divorce and the consequences of that action on his parents and on the house he now lives in.

44. Pivot from Local to National

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, Dan and Renee share about their 3rd anniversary together! Also, they share about going to a national event with leading Shibari organizers and instructors from around the country. There they discussed how to remove the stigmatism attached to Shibari and grow community.

43. NOT an Episode About Poop and Pee

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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But it may feel like it at the start. In this episode, our very tired heroes share a big change in their life (current date) and then travel back to 2016 to share the start of 201+ and a very intense intensive.

42. Flies, Tents, and Intentions

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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Have we mentioned that we have been traveling in July of 2016, well here is the fourth weekend in a row and Renee was about done. Dan learns a powerful lesson from some friends.

41. Pride and Joy in San Diego

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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Did we mention that we had been out of town for two straight weekends in July? Well, here comes another weekend away in three weeks and Dan almost loses a finger because of it!

40. The Unconventional Convention

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, Dan and Renee travel to LA for a new type of conference that is sure to have Renee seeking the introvert's corner!

39. Learning How Not to Die

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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Dan and Renee get some much-needed and appreciated education from experts in the field of Shibari Rope Bondage.

38. What You Don't Know Can Kill You

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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Our Dan and Renee come to some startling realizations about how much they didn't know back in 2016.

37. Bombers and Bombshells

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, our heroes attend a high-protocol play party, and Dan learns how to do fire play with Renee.

36. There's Water Coming Out of the Mountain!

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, our heroes fly to the North Pole and have an amazing trip that almost ends in disaster!

35. Herding Kittens and Shoveling Smoke

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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The essence of Shibari is so much more than tying a pattern. In this episode, Renee and Dan bring a charismatic and charming instructor in to teach Shibari at a level higher than they could teach at the time. This was the first time they went outside San Diego to bring quality rope instruction to the community.

34. Danke Schoen, Wayne Newton

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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Much more about our vacation in Las Vegas. Renee could really have her own podcast on how to plan and execute a vacation! Plus an event completely derails that last day of our vacation.

33. First Kinky Conference - Part 2

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, our heroes share the second part of their kinky conference experience!

32. First Kinky Conference - Part 1

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode our heroes share their experience at their first kinky conference in Las Vegas, NV!

31. Flying into 2016 - Renee Joins the Rebellion!

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, we complete November and December of 2015 and move into January 2016. We explored some classes we took on hypnosis, sexual health, lightning in our hands, and getting started in the Kinkdom. Additionally, we traveled by boat, while Dan had plans to bring Renee into the Rebellion!

30. Dan and Renee Seek the Wiseman!

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, we find our heroes heading up to Los Angeles to visit friends and seek wisdom for the Wiseman of BDSM play. Plus, Renee finally reveals the big thing that happened in October! And October is also their one-year anniversary. At this rate you will be hearing their tale until they are 90!

29. Dan FINALLY Finds A Use For Peas

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, Dan and Renee recount events in both the Kinkdom and Vanillaland during the month of September and October of 2023. They reflect on how much they had happening in all aspects of their life, and you'll just have to listen to understand the title.

28. Lessons Learned, Lessons Taught

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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Dan and Renee talk about all the many lessons they learned and the many lessons they taught back in the early days of All Tied Up San Diego. Much of their curriculum shook up the status quo and ruffled a few feathers.

27. Let's Get All Tied Up San Diego!

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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Did we mention that we host one of Southern California's largest Shibari Rope Bondage groups? In this episode, you will hear how that came into being amid all the other relationship struggles you have heard about over the past nine episodes.

26. Who Let The Dogs Out? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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Who you asked? Take a guess . . . Ka-Thunk! In this episode, Dan's actions show his commitment as he moves himself into Renee's house. However, they both discover how different they are from one another and how many things need to change for Dan to stay.

25. Deflating Mattress, Coin-Op Shower, and a Whip Circle

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, Dan and Renee go Kinky Camping!

24. Pride and Injured Pride

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, Dan and Renee recount their first experience volunteering at the San Diego Leather Realm at the San Diego Pride Festival in July of 2015. Then they share life & relationship-defining moment in their journey.

23. Heeere's Primal Panic!

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, Renee explains her mind-blowing realizations about her struggle with polyamory. And they have yet again, another relationship change!

Book References:

The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-monogamy. Your Guide to Open
Relationships, Polyamory, And Letting Go. By Lola Phoenix.

A Happy Life in an Open Relationship. The Essential Guide to a Healthy
and Fulfilling Nonmonogamous Love Life. By Susan Wenzel, sex and
relationship therapist.

polysecure. Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy. By Jessica Fern.

More Than Two. A practical guide to ethical polyamory. By Franklin
Veaux and Eve Rickert.

22. Holy Ethical Complications, Batman!

Mon, 29 May 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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Dan and Renee take a deeper dive into Consensual Nonmonogamy (CNM) as they look at how their relationship works and how it wouldn't.

Book References:

The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-monogamy. Your Guide to Open
Relationships, Polyamory, And Letting Go. By Lola Phoenix.

A Happy Life in an Open Relationship. The Essential Guide to a Healthy
and Fulfilling Nonmonogamous Love Life. By Susan Wenzel, sex and
relationship therapist.

polysecure. Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy. By Jessica Fern.

More Than Two. A practical guide to ethical polyamory. By Franklin
Veaux and Eve Rickert.

21. Remove Those Rose-Tinted Glasses

Mon, 22 May 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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With Dan's change in behavior, Renee starts touring him around, including meeting the parents. They learn about anchors and knowing the reasons why.

Book References:

The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-monogamy. Your Guide to Open
Relationships, Polyamory, And Letting Go. By Lola Phoenix.

A Happy Life in an Open Relationship. The Essential Guide to a Healthy
and Fulfilling Nonmonogamous Love Life. By Susan Wenzel, sex and
relationship therapist.

polysecure. Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy. By Jessica Fern.

More Than Two. A practical guide to ethical polyamory. By Franklin
Veaux and Eve Rickert.

Start With Why. How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone To Take Action. By Simon Sinek

20. Dan Goes to the Dogs

Mon, 15 May 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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In this episode, we find our hero (Dan) trying to accept many changes and not handling them as well as expected. Renee has to make a decision that might send a mixed message. And the bus ride continues that has Dan earning his lumps.

Book References:

The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-monogamy. Your Guide to Open
Relationships, Polyamory, And Letting Go. By Lola Phoenix.

A Happy Life in an Open Relationship. The Essential Guide to a Healthy
and Fulfilling Nonmonogamous Love Life. By Susan Wenzel, sex and
relationship therapist.

polysecure. Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy. By Jessica Fern.

More Than Two. A practical guide to ethical polyamory. By Franklin
Veaux and Eve Rickert.

19. Ka-Thunk, Ka-Thunk, the Bus Ride Begins!

Mon, 08 May 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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As Dan and Renee explore life as Friends with Benefits, the friends side takes a twist, and Renee goes into protective mode! The wheels on the bus start running over Dan as he navigates a new relationship poorly.

Books References:

The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-monogamy. Your GuideTo Open
Relationships, Polyamory, And Letting Go. By Lola Phoenix.

A Happy Life in an Open Relationship. The Essential Guide to a Healthy
and Fulfilling Nonmonogamous Love Life. By Susan Wenzel, sex and
relationship therapist.

polysecure. Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy. By Jessica Fern.

More Than Two. A practical guide to ethical polyamory. By Franklin
Veaux and Eve Rickert.

18. Friends with Benefits

Mon, 01 May 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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Dan and Renee are now broken up (well, Renee broke up with Dan), and now they start to navigate life as Friends with Benefits! This change has a profound and dramatic effect on both of them.

Books References:

The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-monogamy. Your GuideTo Open
Relationships, Polyamory, And Letting Go. By Lola Phoenix.

A Happy Life in an Open Relationship. The Essential Guide to a Healthy
and Fulfilling Nonmonogamous Love Life. By Susan Wenzel, sex and
relationship therapist.

polysecure. Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy. By Jessica Fern.

More Than Two. A practical guide to ethical polyamory. By Franklin
Veaux and Eve Rickert.

17. Season Finale - Renees Conclusion

Mon, 24 Apr 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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This episode concludes Renee's origin story, including explaining how she came to meet Dan at the comic book store those many years ago. And brings us to the end of Season One of Vanilla with a Side of Kink!

16. Renee's Origin Part 1

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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This episode will give you unique insight into Renee's family life and the years leading to meeting Dan. She reveals things she has not typically shared with even our closest friends. I (Dan) am very proud of her for being so transparent and approachable with the telling of this story.

15. Canes, Brains, Pains, and Drains

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 01:00:00 -0700

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Renee has so much fun that she cannot move!

Dan learns how to use a Cane on Renee effectively. This is an extraordinary skill of sensation. Renee explains some of the levels of play related to BDSM. We go to our first play event at someone's private home. We start teaching our very first rope class. Renee learns a critical lesson about impact play.

14. You've Got to be F'ing Kidding Me!

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 01:00:00 -0700

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Did you know Dan is the nice one? Don't break rule 13.

Dan seeks help for his Daddy skills. Dan gets asked a question that creates a change in Dan & Renee's relationship. And Dan has some important revelations about how his actions were different than his words.

13. Renee's First Play Party

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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MELTDOWN of EPIC PROPORTIONS! Listen as Renee shares what was happening with her as she prepares to go to her very first play party.

12. Where Does This Straw Go?

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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We were recently asked by a friend "WHY do you do this?" We hope this episode provides some insight into the why.

11. Vanilla is Tasty Too

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0700

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Dan describes some of the kinky events he attended separately from Renee, and we reveal a bit more about the vanilla side of our lives.

Book References:

Kink-Affirming Practice: Culturally Competent Therapy from the Leather Chair by Stefani Goerlich, Published 2023 by Routledge

10. New Year, New Everything, and the Top Comes Off

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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Going back in time, a couple of months from our last episode, we look at a different side of our Dom/sub relationship and what that meant to us going to events. And hear the story of the first time Renee gets naked in public!

9. It's NOT Official Anymore! Ending Dom/Sub Relationship.

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode Dan and Renee experience a significant change and each reflects on how this change will affect their life going forward.

8. It's Official! Entering a Dom/Sub Relationship Part 2

Mon, 20 Feb 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode Dan and Renee share some of the joys and hardships of being in a Dominant/Submissive relationship and Dan learns there is a cost to having what he wants.

Book References:

Kink-Affirming Practice: Culturally Competent Therapy from the Leather Chair by Stefani Goerlich, Published 2023 by Routledge
Unequal by Design: Counseling Power Dynamic Relationships by Sabrina Popp M.D and Raven Kaldera, published 2014 by Alfred Press

7. It's Official! Entering a Dom/Sub Relationship Part 1

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode, Dan and Renee talk about officially entering into a Dominant/Submissive relationship. They talk about some of the important aspects of this and other types of BDSM relationships and some of the misconceptions that society has about them.

Book References:

Kink-Affirming Practice: Culturally Competent Therapy from the Leather Chair by Stefani Goerlich, Published 2023 by Routledge
Unequal by Design: Counseling Power Dynamic Relationships by Sabrina Popp M.D and Raven Kaldera, published 2014 by Alfred Press

6. The Education Starts

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode Dan and Renee start attending kinky events together and start learning many things about the kinkdom.

5. Dan's Origin Story - How He Found Kink - Part 2

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode Dan talks about finding and attending his first kinky event. He shares some of the thoughts he had as he entered the kinkdom.

4. Dan's Origin Story - How He Found Kink - Part 1

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode Dan will share a bit about his life, his early years, his first time seeing a woman naked, and how he learned about the Kinkdom.

3. The Eight Days of Kinkmas

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode Dan and Renee talk about what happened during the eight days immediately after their pseudo non-date date.

2. First of Firsts

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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In this episode Dan and Renee talk about how they met and what their first pseudo non-date date looked like.

1. Vanilla with a Side of Kink, a Primer

Sun, 01 Jan 2023 12:00:00 -0800

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In this episode you meet Dan and Renee, the hosts of Vanilla with a Side of Kink, as they launch the first episode and share the story of Renee going to her first kinky event.

Trailer for Vanilla with a Side of Kink - the Podcast

Sun, 01 Jan 2023 00:00:00 -0800

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Join us on this unique journey as we unravel the layers of our story, making kink more accessible and understandable to everyone. Subscribe to our podcast, and let's explore the extraordinary world of vanilla with a side of kink together!