For this episode, Quinn and I really took one for the team. We spent weeks digging into the meaty, mind-blowing work of historian Gerda Lerner’s The Creation of Patriarchy, and let me tell you... once you see the matrix, you cannot unsee it. 😲

If you are sitting there considering divorce, feeling psychologically exhausted, or constantly wondering, "Am I the crazy one?"—please take a deep breath right now. 😮‍💨 This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself. We are breaking down how the world was artificially engineered by men, for men, and why we internalize these thousands-of-years-old systems as personal failures.

Quinn and I are tracking the whole trajectory, from ancient Mother Goddess worship to the "Genesis hit job" that flipped the script on our power. 🐍 Here is what we are unpacking:

• The Neolithic Team: How early tribes relied on true mutuality, and why the "trad-wife" illusion is anything but natural. 🌾
• The Agricultural Shift: How shifting to farming turned the sacred female body into a commodity to be owned and controlled. 🚜
• The Patriarchal Bargain: How systemic hierarchies strategically divided women from each other to keep the play running. 🎭
• Rewriting the Divine: How men conscripted God into their own image to justify dominating half the population. 👑

This isn't about doing to men what they did to us—it’s about waking up to true mutuality and stepping off the stage of a play we didn't write. 🛑 When we band together in true sisterhood and refuse to play our assigned, supportive roles, the patriarch's play finally comes to an end. 👭💥

Please send this episode to your sisters, your besties, and your moms. We need to know our history so we don't fall for the ploy again!

If you are looking for your ultimate "girls' girls" community to hold you through this fog, we are waiting for you! ✨ Text "stay or go community" to 33777 to join us. Plus, Quinn is back doing her legendary tarot readings in the community this summer (jaws are dropping, babes, so don't ask what you don't want to know! 🔮). 1:1 90-minute coaching links are below.

I love you, I see you, and we will see you next week! Sending so much love. 💖🛋️

Show Notes:

Extra ✨bonus✨ material can be found on Substack for my paid subscribers.

stayorgo.substack.com

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The Creation of Patriarchy PDF - Gerda Lerner
The Creation of Patriarchy  - Gerda Lerner

The Creation of Feminist Consciousness - Gerda Lerner

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For the past eight months, I have been spinning in a messy internal loop, trying to force a business model that just wasn’t working. Instead of looking at the numbers cleanly, my conditioning told me I just needed to try harder, surrender more, and carry the entire weight of the world on my shoulders.

If you are currently considering divorce, this loop probably sounds incredibly familiar. So often, we look inward and blame ourselves for a failing marriage, believing that walking away means we can’t trust our own judgment or that we have failed as the emotional anchors of our families.

After a beautifully raw reality check with my coach, Quinn, I finally embraced a truth I want to hand to you today: it is not a sin, it is just data. In this episode, I’m sharing the messy journey behind my major decision to remove the paywall and return the podcast to a completely free, open resource for everyone, permanently. We are diving into the trap of hyper-independence, shedding old conditioning, and learning how to pivot in a rebellious act of self-love. ✨

Paid subscribers, listen in for the exciting details on how your investment is shifting into monthly live coaching and deep-dive resources straight from The Vault! ❤️

Show Notes:

The "Click Clack Symphony" Video

Substack DM/Contact Page

The "Good Guy" Article

The Human Design Episode with Deanna

The Creation of Patriarchy - Gerda Lerner

The Creation of Feminist Consciousness - Gerda Lerner

The Light Seers Tarot Deck - Eight of Cups

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This week, I am so excited to introduce you to Dani. We met back in 2024 in a coach training container, and she is hands-down one of the most uniquely grounded, delightful, and artistic coaches I have ever worked with. In my own moments of feeling fractured, Dani is the person who created a space safe enough for my deepest, most hidden parts to finally creep out and be seen.

In this episode, we dig into what it actually means to bring together our light and dark parts through what Dani calls the “alchemical marriage of opposites.” She shares her journey from living as a highly dissociated, intellect-driven human to anchoring deeply in her body through myofascial release, the deep mind-mapping of Dr. Robert, and the paradigm-shifting world of Carolyn Elliott’s Existential Kink.

What We Dig Into:

* The Backdoor Ego Agenda: How we often try to do shadow work with a secret condition (“I’ll look at my darkness, but only if it gives me what I want”), and what happens when we ask: What if this never changes?

* The Energy of Resistance: Why it takes so much work to keep parts of ourselves repressed, and how finding approval for your shadow liberates your creative force.

* Slowing Down to Titrate: Moving away from treating our bodies like machines and learning how to sit with intense emotions for just 30 seconds at a time.

* Parts Work and the Savior Complex: Why every single part of you loves you and has a positive intention—even the messy ones—and how to stop giving until you burn out.

* Money as the “Final Boss”: A transparent look at why money, receiving, and worth are the ultimate playgrounds for shadow work.

If you are navigating the disorienting, in-between space of considering divorce, or if you are just exhausted from treating your personal growth like a grueling chore, this conversation is a breath of fresh air. It is an invitation to move away from heavy “healing work” and step into deep, soulful play.

Show Notes:

Connect with Dani:

Dani’s Website

Dani’s Instagram

Dominion Community

Penetrate Radio Podcast:

Apple

Spotify

Instagram

YouTube

iHeart Radio

John Barnes Myofascial Release

The Light Dark Institute

Dr. Robert Dee McDonald

Christina Morassi

Luis Mojica

Carolyn Elliot

Connect with Britta:

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This is not a conversation about a system of labels or complex data charts. It is a conversation about what happens when you begin to trust that authority may already be living within you.

We explore what it looks like to connect with your unique energetic blueprint. To listen for the truths beneath the noise of lifelong conditioning, family expectations, and trauma. And to approach Human Design not as something outside of you, but as a literal X-ray that helps you access what your body, your soul, and your inner voice may already know.

At the center of this conversation is a powerful remembering.

So many women considering divorce have been taught that truth must come through prescribed channels. That access to safety, to knowing, to authority lives somewhere outside of themselves—in a partner, a family, or a system. But what if the real invitation is to reclaim your own relationship with wisdom? To let your natural strategy, your intuition, and your body become part of the language through which you come home to yourself?

Through this conversation, you will hear what it means to look at your design with reverence, curiosity, and openness. You will learn about the precise “monkeys”—the shadow patterns and ancestral distortions—that pull you away from your alignment, and how identifying them gives you the power to choose yourself.

Not a way to escape your life, but a way to meet yourself more fully.

This episode is not really about Human Design.

It is about remembering how to trust your own knowing. ✨

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Diana’s Website

Join us for the Human Design Workshop on Sunday, May 24th, 2026

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This is not a story about a high-conflict disaster. It is a story about the “box-checking” trap—the graduation, the career, the marriage, and the home—and the realization that checking every box can still leave you completely empty.

We explore what it looks like to finally listen to your own skin. To acknowledge the panic attacks that strike on the commute home and the GI issues that signal a deep internal misalignment. We dig into the grit it takes to build an exit strategy while pregnant, choosing to “be selfish” by investing in your own education and healing so that you—and your children—can eventually breathe.

At the center of this conversation is a startlingly beautiful observation of human maturity.

The belief so many women carry is that telling the truth will inevitably lead to a “shit show” of aggression and shaming. But through Jaguar’s experience, we see a rare and thrilling alternative. We witness what happens when a husband chooses respect over ego, allowing a marriage to dissolve at a barroom table with a pen, a plan, and a profound sense of grace.

Through her story, you will hear what it means to move from performance to presence. The terror of the filing, the vulnerability of the “final blow,” and the liberation of the first two months on the other side. You will hear how her choice didn’t just end a marriage, but birthed a collaborative friendship that actually serves her family.

This episode is not about staying or going.

It is about the radical act of reclaiming your own exploration and trusting your body when it says it is time to move. ✨

Show Notes:

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To help me navigate this, I’ve brought on a very special guest: my partner, Joe.

For a long time, I’ve spoken about affairs through the lens of what Joe describes in this episode as the “Deserted Island”—the experience of a partner so starved for connection and visibility that they reach for water wherever they can find it, even if it’s from a source they never thought they’d touch. But I’ve realized that by focusing there, I left a group of you behind. I left out the ones who were fully invested, who were over-functioning to keep the marriage alive, and who were still blindsided by a partner’s betrayal.

In this episode, Joe and I dig into the heart of that wreckage. Joe shares his own raw history of being on both sides of this coin: the one who sought more outside a marriage, and later, the one who had his world leveled by a partner’s infidelity.

We discuss the “head game” of blame—that exhausting, frantic ping-pong match our brains play between It’s all their fault and I wasn’t enough. We talk about why we internalize someone else’s choice as a reflection of our own worth, and how that trauma untethers us from our very sense of self.

Whether you are currently wading through the mess of a partner’s choice or looking back at the eras of your life that no longer make sense, I want you to hear this: an affair is data, but it is not a definition of your value.

You don’t have to carry the responsibility for a promise you didn’t break. You get to stop the spin. You get to come home to yourself.🤍

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Episode 21 - Affairs Part 2: Five Mistakes Husbands Make When They Find Out & What Women Really Want in Relationship (hint, you’ll find it in the ACOTAR series)

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Episode 104: This week, I want to talk about the invisible architecture of your life. It’s something that sits underneath every decision you’ve ever made, every “yes” you’ve given, and every reason you have for staying exactly where you are right now.

It’s your values.

But here is the thing about values: most of us didn’t actually choose ours. We inherited them. We were handed a backpack full of beliefs by our families, our religions, and our culture, and we’ve been carrying them around for decades without ever stopping to look inside and ask, Is any of this actually mine?

In this episode, I’m digging into the heart of the “Values Gap.” That specific, aching hollowness that happens when your life looks beautiful on the outside—the house, the kids, the stability—but feels empty on the inside because it was built on a foundation of someone else’s blueprints.

I share my own messy, radical shift from the values I was taught as a young Mormon bride to the ones that sustain me now. We talk about why the reasons you chose your spouse at nineteen might not be the reasons you want to stay at forty, and why that doesn’t make you ungrateful or “wrong.” It just means you’ve grown.

I want to give you the sacred permission that patriarchy and high-control systems try to take away: the right to overhaul your entire internal compass.

I’ve also created a deep-dive Values Inventory Worksheet specifically for my paid Substack subscribers to help you map this out. Because the goal isn’t just to stay or go; the goal is to stop being a ghost in your own home and start living a life that actually resonates in your body.

You get to pick again. You get to decide what matters. Let’s start there. 🤍

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

ADHD for Smart Ass Women by Tracy Otsuka

Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey (FLDS documentary)

Prophet’s Prey (Warren Jeffs documentary) - Trailer

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This is not a conversation about fortune telling. It is a conversation about what happens when you begin to trust that wisdom may already be living within you.

We explore what it looks like to connect with your intuition. To listen for the truths beneath the noise of conditioning, fear, and overthinking. And to approach tarot not as something outside of you, but as a tool that helps you access what your body, your soul, and your inner voice may already know.

At the center of this conversation is a powerful remembering.

So many women have been taught that truth must come through prescribed channels. That access to the divine, to knowing, to authority lives somewhere outside of themselves. But what if the real invitation is to reclaim your own relationship with wisdom? To let symbolism, intuition, and the body become part of the language through which you come home to yourself?

Through this conversation, you will hear what it means to approach tarot with reverence, curiosity, and openness. The tenderness, the mystery, the deep internal recognition. And how this practice can become a companion in seasons of change, grief, healing, and becoming.

Not a way to escape yourself, but a way to meet yourself more fully.

This episode is not really about tarot.

It is about remembering how to trust your own knowing. ✨

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Episode 50

Allison Alexander’s Website

Allison Alexander’s Instagram

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Episode 102: In this episode, I sit down with a woman from inside the Stay or Go community whose journey reveals something many of us quietly wrestle with.

This is not a story about a bad marriage. It is a story about what happens when “good enough” is no longer enough.

We explore what it looks like to stop abandoning yourself. To name what you truly want…

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At the heart of this episode is something I’ve been building behind the scenes this year. A framework I’m calling CORE. Not as another set of tools to try, but as a way to slow down, get grounded, and actually understand what’s happening beneath the surface so you can stop spinning and start seeing clearly.

We begin with connection.

Not to your partner, but to yourself.

I talk about what it really means to have self-connection that is steady enough to hold when things get hard. When there is disapproval. When there is loss. When the life you’ve built no longer fits.

Because whether you stay or go, this is the foundation everything rests on.

And through the lens of Wicked, I explore what it looks like to choose yourself when it costs you something. To step out of conditional love. To face the grief of becoming someone who can no longer go back to who she was.

If you are in that in-between space, where something inside you has shifted but you don’t yet know what comes next, this episode will meet you there.

Not with answers.

But with grounding, clarity, and a deeper return to yourself.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

She said, “I’m No One’s Favorite Person” - Substack Post

“The Men Are Not All Right”...Right? - Diabolical Lies Podcast

Episode 65: “What You Were Promised” — The History and Hidden Design of Straight Marriage With Quinn Otrera - Part 1

Episode 66: "The Cost of the Lie": Why You Feel Numb, Lonely, and Like You’re Too Much in This System With Quinn Otrera - Part 2

Strong Ground - Brene Brown

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane Ward

Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere - Netflix Documentary

Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey - Netflix Documentary

Wicked - Movie

Wicked: For Good - Movie

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In it I reflect on what it means to reach this milestone and on the woman I have become in the process of creating this podcast. What started as a small spark during one of the hardest seasons of my life has grown into something that has not only supported other women, but has changed me too.

At the heart of this episode is also a question I have been sitting with lately. What do we do with the pain we have lived through? Do we let it harden us, or do we let it deepen us?

Through two very different experiences, one painful and one tender, I talk about what it means to be with our own fear, grief, and hurt instead of projecting it onto everyone around us. I talk about emotional maturity, self-resourcing, and the kind of self-love that is not performative, but rooted in staying with ourselves in the hardest places.

If you are considering divorce, this matters. Because so much of what keeps us stuck is not just the relationship itself, but the emotional patterns underneath it. And so much of healing is learning how to hold your own inner world with honesty and care.

This episode is really about transmuting darkness. About choosing, again and again, to let what has hurt you become a source of compassion, clarity, and truth rather than something you pass on.

And in that way, this episode feels like the heart of what these 100 episodes have always been about.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered - E. Mavis Hetherington Ph.D

Claude AI

Script for Jungian dream interpretation:

Hello Claude! I've done Jungian dream interpretation with a psychiatrist before who took me step-by-step through each aspect of the dream, one at one at a time, asking questions and getting details along the way and really slowing the process down. I'd like to have you do the same with me and the dream I'm about to share with you please. (copy and paste dream here and then submit )

The Muse Tarot - Chris-Anne

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We talk about childhood trauma, grief, alcoholism, sobriety, motherhood, narcissistic dynamics, and the long process of learning how to come home to yourself. Vanessa shares so beautifully about what it means to finally name what is happening, to trust your own experience, and to begin building a life that feels deeply true from the inside out.

What I loved most about this conversation is how honest it is. This is not a polished story about healing. It is real, tender, hard won, and full of wisdom. We talk about the parallels between restoring land, restoring a home, and restoring yourself after years of disconnection. We talk about self-love, boundaries, and the slow, powerful work of regeneration.

This episode is for the woman who knows something is not right, even if she cannot fully name it yet. It is for the woman who is learning to trust herself again. And it is a reminder that a life on the other side of survival is possible. A life with more peace, more truth, and more of you in it.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Vanessa’s Substack

Some of Britta’s Favorite Posts:

Slow down, Simplify and Invite Spaciousness

I Built an LLC—And a Life I’m Still Reaching Toward

The Gift of a Home

A House Update: Heat, Trust, and Beaver Medicine

Jenny Ray

Sky, Hawk, Horse and Stone: Rediscovering Self by Reconnecting to Earth’s Ancient Medicines

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Not just should I stay or go, but something deeper.Can I trust myself?

So many women come into this space looking for certainty. They want to know they’re not overreacting. They want reassurance they’re not making a mistake. They want someone to tell them what the right decision is.

But underneath all of that is the deeper ache of feeling disconnected from their own knowing.

In this episode, I talk about why self-trust can feel so hard, especially when many of us were taught from a young age to look outside ourselves for answers. When you’re in the middle of a life transition like this, it can feel like being out in the middle of the ocean during a storm. There’s no clear map. No solid ground. Just the question of whether you can trust the voice inside you.

I share the three things I’ve seen make the biggest difference in helping women rebuild that trust. Community that reflects you back to yourself. A deeper relationship with your intuition and the unseen. And the kind of knowledge that doesn’t just give you information, but helps you finally understand what you’re experiencing.

This episode isn’t about giving you the answer to whether you should stay or go. It’s about something much more powerful than that.

It’s about helping you remember that the voice inside you is worth listening to. And that self-trust is something you can rebuild, one step at a time. 🤍

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Episode 50: You Can’t Logic Your Way Out of a Marriage (And What to Do Instead)

Sisterhood of the Seers Oracle – Athena Laz

The Muse Tarot: A 78-Card Deck & Guidebook - Chris-Anne

The Cosmic Crossroads Oracle - Amanda Lynn Aisling

The Hero’s Journey Dream Oracle - Kelly Sullivan Walden

The Wild Unknown Decks – Kim Krans

The Light Seer’s Tarot – Chris-Anne

Man and His Symbols – Carl Jung

Jungian Dream Interpretation Tool

Diabolical Lies Podcast

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Is this my fate? Or do I actually have a say in what happens next?

If you’re considering divorce, you already know the weight of that question. The feeling that this decision will ripple through everything. Your children. Your future. The story of your life. It can feel predetermined, almost inevitable. Like this is just how it turned out.

In this episode, I unpack the difference between fate and destiny in the way I’ve come to understand them through my own life and my work with women.

Fate, to me, is what happens when we live unconsciously. When trauma stays buried. When old attachment wounds and survival strategies quietly organize our choices from the background. It’s the repetition that feels eerie and familiar. The same loneliness. The same power dynamics. The same feeling of not being enough. Different faces, same pattern.

Destiny is something very different. It is not toxic positivity. It is not “just manifest harder.” And it is not a rigid script you are required to follow.

Destiny is what begins to unfold when you start making the unconscious conscious. When you name your patterns. When you stop normalizing what hurts. When you reclaim your authority from systems, partners, parents, and even old versions of yourself.

I walk through three essential nuances that matter deeply in this conversation: trauma complicates free will, not everything is self-created, and fate most often shows up as repetition compulsion. If you have ever wondered why you “chose” something that now makes you unhappy, this will land.

And if you are asking yourself whether to stay or go, I want you to hear this: the deepest question is not just what you will choose. It is how awake you are inside the choosing.

Destiny might mean repairing your marriage with brutal honesty. It might mean leaving with that same level of consciousness. The outcome is not the point. The point is whether you are repeating from old wounds or responding from integration.

This episode is an invitation to stop living on autopilot and to start participating in your own becoming.

Take a breath. Let it meet you where you are.

Show Notes:

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Jane is divorcing what most people would call a “good guy.”

No addiction. No affair. No obvious villain. From the outside, her marriage looked fine. Maybe even better than fine. And yet inside, she felt alone. Unseen. Disconnected from her own body. Her libido had disappeared. Her nervous system was frayed. She was carrying the emotional weight of the relationship while trying to convince herself it wasn’t “bad enough” to leave.

We talk about what happens when a woman begins to speak up and how that alone can disrupt entire family systems. We talk about sexual coercion inside marriage and how easily it gets normalized. We talk about the terrifying moment when you realize you’re the only one truly doing the work. And we talk about integration, the long stretch between knowing something in your bones and being ready to act on it.

Jane shares the flashpoint that shifted everything. The year and a half of deep identity work that followed. The escalation that can happen when you finally say the words out loud. And the unexpected peace of lying on the floor of your own place for the first time, realizing your body can finally exhale.

What I love most about this conversation is how honest it is. There’s no clean arc. No instant certainty. Just a woman slowly disentangling herself from systems that were never built to support her and choosing alignment over appearance.

If you’re in a marriage that looks acceptable on paper but feels hollow in your body, this one is for you.

In Jane’s words, and I could not agree more:

You can do this.

Show Notes:

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Because before you can make a clear decision about your marriage, you have to rebuild trust with yourself.

So many of us have been trained to override our bodies. We override exhaustion. We override sadness. We override anger. We override our no. We override our intuition. And then, standing at one of the most consequential crossroads of our lives, we expect clarity to magically appear.

Of course it feels like chaos.

In this episode, we explore what it means to come home to your body in a grounded, practical way. We talk about early conditioning and shame. About how coping behaviors are often attempts at soothing a dysregulated nervous system. About the difference between demands and requests, and how that shift alone can transform the emotional architecture of our relationships.

At its core, this conversation is about embodiment. About understanding that self-trust is not built through analysis alone, but through learning to feel and respond to your own internal signals with respect.

If you are navigating uncertainty, especially around divorce, this episode invites you to slow down. To return to the foundation beneath the decision. To rebuild the connection that makes any choice — stay or go — something you can stand behind with steadiness.

Show Notes:

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Chandra’s Website

Handbook for Human Potential: An Accessible Guide to Personal Growth - Chandra Zas, Britta Jo and Others

Chandra Zas’s chapters: Chapter 0 and Chapter 10

Handbook for Human Potential Amazon reviews

No Bad Kids - Janet Lansbury

Nonviolent Communication - Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD

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Because today we are talking about falling apart, and why it might be the most honest thing your soul has ever done.

I’m introducing you to a concept I just found this week and immediately knew I needed to bring to you: positive disintegration. The kind of breakdown that isn’t a failure, but a signal. A sign that the strategies you used to survive, the roles you learned to play, and the fantasies you clung to are no longer able to hold back what you already know in your bones. In other words, it’s not that you are breaking. It’s that your denial is breaking. And something truer is trying to come through.

We talk about why our culture fears endings, grief, and death, and how that fear shows up psychologically when we’re in the crucible of change, especially when you’re considering divorce. I connect this to the life-death-life cycle, to the way nature does this without apologizing, and to the brutal tenderness of becoming. If you’ve been feeling heavy, depressed, anxious, or stuck, I want you to hear this clearly: those feelings do not automatically mean you’re doing it wrong. Sometimes they mean you’re finally doing it right.

I also share one of my favorite images for this process: the butterfly becoming the goo. That disorienting, humiliating, sacred middle. The place where you cannot go back to who you were, but you cannot yet see who you’re becoming. If you’re there right now, you are not behind. You are not broken. You are in the chrysalis.

And I bring in two powerful texts that help us name what we’re living: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Women Who Run with the Wolves. We talk about Skeleton Woman, Lady Death, and what it means to stop throwing the parts of ourselves we fear off the cliff. We talk about building a foundation that can hold you through the unraveling, not by rushing to fix the feelings, but by staying with yourself inside them.

If you’re in that tender, terrifying season where everything you built your life on feels shaky, this episode is for you. It’s a reminder that the breakdown might not be the end of your story. It might be the beginning of your true self returning. 🤍

Show Notes:

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Live interview with Chandra Zas - Tuesday Feb 17th • 2pm PT, 4 pm CST, 5 pm EST

(Use this link if the one above doesn’t work- https://youtube.com/live/2DiSl3ZyV3M)

What happens when you stop overriding your body… and start listening instead?

In this live conversation, Britta interviews Chandra on Chapter 0 of Handbook for Human Potential — a chapter that opens the doorway to body wisdom, emotional truth, and coming home to yourself.

Join our book newsletter to stay in the loop: https://handbookforhumanpotential.com

And buy the book if you haven’t yet! Handbook for Human Potential by Chandra Zas, Britta Jo and others

https://Chandrazas.com

Suggested prep for next episode: Read Chandra’s chapter 0 - “Come Home to Your Body Wisdom”

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death by Caitlin Doughty

Considering Divorce? Understand the Life-Death-Life Cycle First

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We talk candidly about the myths that keep women frozen. The belief that staying is safer. The hope that being patient or accommodating will somehow protect you. The assumption that the court will reward sacrifice or take emotional context into account. Demetria explains why none of that is true, and how time, lack of information, and emotional overwhelm can quietly work against women, especially high earners, stay at home mothers, and those who have stepped away from the workforce. This is a grounded, no nonsense look at how money, custody, support, and preparation really function behind the scenes.

This episode is not about pushing anyone toward divorce. It is about telling the truth. The truth that divorce is a business process layered on top of one of the most emotional experiences of your life. The truth that clarity is power. And the truth that the longer you avoid looking at the facts, the more agency you often lose. If you are in the space of “I am not ready yet” or “I just need more time,” this conversation is an invitation to ask yourself what that time is truly costing you. 🤍

Show Notes:

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Legally Uncensored Podcast - Find Part 1 here

When Women Run The Firm: How to successfully launch and manage your law practice with confidence - Demetria Graves

Demetria’s Instagram

Legally Uncensored Instagram

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In it, I explore what it means to stay grounded as a deeply sensitive person in an increasingly fractured world. I reflect on a local production of Hadestown that unexpectedly cracked something open in me, illuminating the profound choice we face between fear and trust. We follow the tragic story of Orpheus and Eurydice, and what it reveals about how easily doubt can derail us—even when we are on the cusp of something beautiful.

If you are navigating the unknown, especially in the realm of divorce or deep personal change, I believe you’ll resonate with this idea: that trusting your soul’s call, even when you can’t yet see where it leads, is itself the act of creating a new world. And that turning back, out of fear or uncertainty, is something we all understand—and still, we get to begin again.

This episode is both a personal check-in and a wider call to all of us doing the brave work of building something new. Whether you’re in a place of exhaustion, reflection, or decision, I hope this conversation offers you a quiet companion on the path forward.

Show Notes

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Q&A with Anaïs Mitchell (writer & composer of Hadestown) and Rachel Chavkin (director of Hadestown)

Hades Town

Journey of Souls - Dr. Michael Newton

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In it, I speak openly and directly about intimate partner violence, including heartbreaking local and national examples of the very real dangers women face when they decide to leave. This is not a conversation many of us were raised to have. I wasn’t. But after years of coaching women who are considering divorce, I know we cannot afford to keep looking away.

Together, we unpack critical statistics that are too often hidden behind passive headlines. I share a deeply personal story of a woman in my community whose life was taken after she left a partner—and how her death, and others like it, must wake us up to what is truly at stake.

I also walk you through warning signs, risk factors, and the psychological patterns that too many women have been taught to minimize. And most of all, I offer you something I wish every woman had: a third way. Not the false binary of stay and survive or leave and risk everything—but a path built on information, preparation, and connection.

This episode is about reclaiming our safety. About standing shoulder to shoulder in the face of rising misogyny and systemic silence. About refusing to shrink or isolate, and instead learning how to call out the realities we live in—with clarity, courage, and love.

If you’re not ready for this episode today, that’s okay. But I want you to know it’s here, whenever you are. And if you listen and this lands close to home, please know: you do not have to walk this alone.

Show Notes:

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National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.)24/7 free and confidential support

* Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233)

* Text: START to 88788

* Chat online: thehotline.org

They can help you build a personalized safety plan — whether you’re still in the relationship, planning to leave, or already out and still feeling unsafe.

DomesticShelters.org – Safety Planning GuideA detailed, step-by-step guide to help you prepare in a way that fits your unique situation.https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/comprehensive-guides/a-guide-to-domestic-violence-safety-planning?utm_source

WomensLaw.org – Legal Safety PlanningIncludes emotional safety planning plus legal tips around custody, protection orders, and more.https://www.womenslaw.org/safety-planning?utm_source

Safe Horizon – Understanding What Goes Into a Safety PlanLearn what to prepare and how to communicate your plan to trusted people.https://www.safehorizon.org/safety-plan/?utm_source

https://www.southdenvertherapy.com/blog/domestic-violence-statistics?utm_source=chatgpt.com

https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/statistics/when-abuse-turns-deadly?utm_source=chatgpt.com

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We start with a kind of radical idea—what if knowing yourself deeply, even when it’s painful, is the path to peace? In a time when there’s growing pushback against diagnosis and therapy language, I share a different perspective. One rooted in lived experience. One that says language doesn’t confine us, it frees us. Naming what lives inside us doesn’t shrink our potential, it releases shame.

I talk openly about the emotional process of receiving an ADHD diagnosis and how it allowed me to trace patterns I had never been able to name—patterns that shaped my childhood, my relationship with my mother, my marriage, my nervous system. I share honestly about the grief that surfaced, the beliefs I had to examine, and why, at first, even with a prescription in hand, I couldn’t take the medication.

But then life intervened. A mental and emotional breaking point became the catalyst for finally saying yes to deeper support. I walk you through the realities of what that looked like: the side effects, the scheduling, the slow and steady shifts that began to change everything. This episode holds nothing back. I talk about what has improved and what I miss. What has steadied and what has softened.

And I name the truth that felt like a revelation—this diagnosis didn’t make me feel broken. It made me feel seen. It gave me a new story to tell about myself. One filled with compassion, understanding, and even awe.

I also share the ten “superpowers” I now see in myself—traits I once judged that I now hold with reverence. Empathy. Intuition. Creativity. Justice sensitivity. Risk-taking. Drive. These parts of me didn’t begin with the diagnosis, but they have deepened in how I understand and honor them.

This episode is for every woman who has ever feared that the real problem is her. Who has worried that even if she leaves, the same pain will follow. Who has wondered if she is just too much, too chaotic, too emotional, too different to be fully loved.

I want you to know: there is nothing wrong with you. There are just things you may not yet understand. And when you find the language, the support, and the people who see you as whole and valuable exactly as you are—everything can change.

Whether or not you have ADHD, whether or not you are considering medication, this conversation is about something much bigger. It is about returning to yourself with clarity, with curiosity, and with love. It is about finally naming the truth: that the answers were never out there. They have always been within you.

Show Notes:

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Andrea Andes - Therapist

A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD - Sari Solden and Michelle Frank

ADHD for Smart Ass Women - Tracy Otsuka

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving - Pete Walker

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This isn’t just an episode about ADHD. It’s about the slow unraveling of shame. About finally understanding why therapy, coaching, somatic work—even with all the growth they gave me—could never quite reach the black box of suffering I carried. It’s about the enormous relief that comes when you realize: the problem was never that you weren’t trying hard enough. The problem was that no one ever gave you the right map.

I walk through the traits of adult ADHD that have shifted how I parent, how I relate, and how I see the intense emotional terrain I’ve spent a lifetime navigating. We’ll talk about rejection-sensitive dysphoria, overstimulation, emotional dysregulation, and the unseen labor of masking that so many women carry silently. I share how medication has begun to create space where there was none—allowing me to show up in my life with more steadiness, more self-compassion, and far less self-judgment.

Whether ADHD is something you’ve long suspected in yourself or something that’s never crossed your mind, I encourage you to listen. Especially if you’re a woman navigating huge decisions like divorce. Undiagnosed ADHD can shape our self-worth, our relationships, and our emotional bandwidth in ways we don’t always see. And when we don’t know it’s there, we so often internalize the pain as personal failure.

But you’re not failing. You’re just finally being seen.

This episode is my offering to anyone who’s ever looked around at their life and thought, “Why is this so hard?” May it give you language, permission, and a starting point for something softer, truer, and more whole.

So take a breath. Let’s begin this year not with resolutions, but with revelation.

Show Notes:

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Miss. Diagnosis: A Systematic Review of ADHD in Adult Women - Emma A. Climie

10 Things I Wish Everyone Knew About ADHD - I Have ADHD Podcast

A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD - Sari Solden and Michelle Frank

ADHD for Smart Ass Women - Tracy Otsuka

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving - Pete Walker

Strong Ground - Brené Brown

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In this episode, I pull you in close with warmth and honesty. I share a story I had forgotten until I found it in my journals: a Christmas with my in-laws when something deeply personal about my faith journey was shared before I was ready. What followed was a long, well intentioned but deeply dysregulating family conversation that left me feeling exposed, overwhelmed, and pushed into the familiar role so many of us know well: explaining, caretaking, and managing everyone else’s emotions.

That experience brings us to the core message of this episode: you do not owe anyone answers.

Not about your marriage. Not about your timeline. Not about the parts of you that are still tender and unfolding. It is not your job to make your life make sense to other people, especially during the holidays when old patterns of people pleasing and codependency are at their loudest.

We talk about how these patterns tend to show up this time of year: staying with family even when it makes you feel trapped, overcommitting to keep the peace, avoiding alone time, overexplaining, staying quiet to avoid conflict, and prioritizing everyone else’s comfort while your own nervous system is stretched thin.

I offer language you can use when conversations turn invasive, along with permission to let others feel uncomfortable without rushing to fix it. We also spend time on nervous system support and practical ways to protect your peace, from creating small pockets of solitude to rethinking logistics like where you stay, how you travel, and how long you remain at gatherings.

Most of all, this episode is a reminder that you matter during the holidays. Your peace matters. You are allowed to choose yourself, even imperfectly, even quietly, even when it disappoints others. You do not have to explain your way into being understood. You are allowed to protect what is sacred while you are still becoming.

Show Notes:

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The Live Awake Podcast - Sarah Blondin

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Quinn’s journey into divorce was long and chronic, shaped by decades of Mormon conditioning and a lifetime of being told not to trust herself. Mine was sharper and more sudden, driven by depression, suicidal ideation, and the painful awakening that I wasn’t broken, the systems around me were. Together we unravel how religious, cultural, and patriarchal messaging keeps women trapped in self‑blame and confusion long past the point where something in their soul knows the truth.

From there we walk step‑by‑step through the process itself. Trial separations, the moment you know, the strategy required before you tell him, the emotional whiplash of filing, and in my case, the shock of living under the same roof after the divorce was underway. We talk temporary orders, discovery, mediation, attorneys who fight for you, and the strange mix of grief and relief that comes as the legal structure finally begins to take shape.

And then Quinn offers what most people never get to hear. What happens after the decree is signed. What happens when an ex refuses to follow orders. What happens when you need legal protection. What it is like to work with the courts, child protective services, school counselors, and low‑cost legal aid. What it looks like to slowly build a self so solid that you no longer bend to chaos but meet it with clarity and consequence.

This episode is not about telling you whether to stay or go. It is about turning on the lights so you can stop imagining monsters and start seeing the terrain for what it truly is. If divorce has felt like a void you are terrified to step into, I want this conversation to feel like a hand on your back saying, You can do this. You can learn. You can prepare. You can choose the life that calls to you.

Your life, your story, and your safety matter. And you do not have to walk this part alone.

Show Notes:

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Episode 86: Ohhhh my loves — this one’s a biggie. 💥 What started as a simple question from one of my beautiful Substack subscribers turned into something so much deeper. In this episode, I finally give the practice of journaling the spotlight it deserves. Not the surface-level, “dear diary” kind of journaling. I’m talking about the real thing. The gritty, raw, healing kind. The kind that has quietly become one of the most sacred tools in my own self-resourcing practice — and one of the top ways I’ve built secure attachment with myself over the past eight years.

This episode is both a personal excavation and a love letter. I talk about what’s been stirring in me lately — the speed of change in our world, the collective instability so many of us are feeling, and why now, more than ever, we need to be able to trust ourselves. Not in some performative, “I’ve got this” kind of way — but in a deep, anchored, soul-level way.

And that’s what journaling can offer when we use it intentionally.

You’ll hear me break down the four journaling styles I’ve organically developed: Growth Documentation, Pep Talks, Brain Dump Dialogues (y’all… this one 👀), and Higher Self Channeling. Each one serves a different purpose depending on where I am emotionally or energetically — and each has played a massive role in helping me show up for myself, especially when the outside world feels anything but steady.

And for my paid Substack crew, I’ve included a gorgeous PDF (because we know we love a tangible tool 💌) that walks you through each style with starter prompts, tips, and even real-life photos from my journals.

Whether you’re in the depths of the considering process or simply craving a deeper connection with yourself, this episode is my holiday gift to you. May it help you remember that no matter what’s unfolding around you, you are your own safe place.

Show Notes:

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Handbook for Human Potential Links

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No Bad Parts - Richard Schwartz

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We’re talking narcissism, but not in the black-and-white, overused “therapy speak” way you’re seeing all over the internet. I’m breaking down the difference between actual narcissistic abuse and emotionally immature behavior that might be just subtle enough to keep you spinning. I introduce the continuum I developed this month—a framework that’s already shifting so much for the women in the community—and talk about how it’s helping us see both ourselves and our partners more clearly.

We also dig into the truth that many of you need most: sometimes someone’s “best” is just not enough for you. Period. And you don’t need a diagnosis to walk away.

So if you’ve ever caught yourself wondering, Is he a narcissist… or am I just overthinking everything? or if you’ve felt the weight of needing a “reason” to leave—this episode is for you 💥

You’ll leave with more clarity, a whole lot more compassion for yourself, and a deeper sense of what it really means to take your power back 🔥

Show Notes:

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Six Keys To Unlock Your Understanding of Narcissism - Substack Article

Are They Really a Narcissist? Do They Really Have Borderline? Are They Truly Gaslighting You? - Podcast Episode

They’re Not Gaslighting You - Isabelle Morley

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family - Eleanor Payson

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Together, we trace Olivia’s journey from the exhaustion and confusion of her lowest point—when the gaslighting and emotional manipulation were so constant, she barely recognized herself anymore—to the firestorm of her divorce and, ultimately, to the quiet, grounded peace she’s found on the other side.

She shares what it cost her to stay: the subtle erasure of her identity, her joy, her voice. She shares the moment she realized she was no longer standing up for her kids. And perhaps most importantly, she shares how she clawed her way back—learning to borrow hope, hold boundaries, and honor the wild, beautiful pulse of her own truth.

This episode is an offering for any woman who has doubted what she feels. For those who know something isn’t right but can’t yet name it. For those who are starting to see the cost of staying too long. If you’ve ever whispered to yourself, “I can’t do this anymore,” let Olivia’s story be a companion in the dark and a reminder: your freedom is real, and it is possible.

Show Notes:

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Awake - Jen Hatmaker

The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins

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Before we dive into those pages, I share a personal update that has been nothing short of life altering. Receiving an ADHD diagnosis as an adult, and recognizing its generational threads, has reorganized so much of my story. It has rewritten the way I see my mother, my own emotional landscape, and the compassion I now hold for the woman I was for so many years without a framework to understand herself. I speak about the transformative impact of discovering medication that finally supports my brain and the grief that comes with wondering what might have been possible for the women who came before me if they had been given the same tools.

From there, we return to the journals. These entries illuminate the beautiful, brutal truth that becoming the woman capable of changing her life is not a single choice but a thousand small ones. In one moment, I am standing in my closet realizing there is no one coming to save me and feeling the terror and power of that truth. In the next moment, I am coaching myself toward a different reality with nothing more than self compassion, deliberate awareness, and the willingness to choose again.

You will hear me navigate the shock of betrayal during my separation, the frightening escalation that often accompanies disentangling from a narcissistic dynamic, and the experience of sitting at a kitchen table telling my children our family was changing. These pages were written by a woman who was terrified, grieving, hopeful, and determined all at once. A woman who had no evidence that her future would turn out the way she dreamed, yet continued to write her way forward anyway.

And then, in the final entry, you will hear a voice that stunned even me when I found it again. A voice that knew without hesitation the life she was creating. A voice that listed out the future I am now living, long before I had the courage, stability, or clarity to imagine any of it realistically. Reading that list feels like witnessing my past self bless my present self, reminding me that soul calls never arrive empty. They carry the architecture of what is possible.

This episode is an invitation to honor your own unfolding in the same way. To see the patterns you are outgrowing, the chapters you are grieving, and the expansions you are already stepping into. To remember that every becoming is patterned with both collapse and creation. And that the you who is writing today’s entry may be the woman your future self thanks for changing everything.

If you are in the thick of it, please know you are not behind and you are not failing. You are mid‑chapter. You are in the woods. You are becoming.

And you are not alone. 💗

Show Notes:

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ADHD for Smart Ass Women - Tracy Otsuka

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These entries are raw and unfiltered. One captures the first flickers of awakening, a moment when I glimpsed what real love, real home, and real alignment could feel like. The other reflects the doubt, confusion, and self-questioning that followed soon after. Together, they reveal how nonlinear, layered, and sacred this process of transformation truly is.

This episode is for any woman who finds herself in the “before”—the place where hope feels distant and clarity feels just out of reach. It’s a reminder that you’re not alone, that your feelings are valid, and that even in the darkness, there is power in trusting your own soul’s knowing.

My hope is that these reflections illuminate your path as you navigate your own questions and challenges. I want you to see what’s possible when you follow those soul calls—when you allow yourself to believe, even if only faintly at first, that a different life might be available to you.

Show Notes:

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A Knight’s Tale

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In this episode, I sit down with the woman who first helped me name it. My former counselor, Paré Underwood, was the person who gently—without ever pushing—began to walk me back to myself. At the time, I didn’t realize I was in a narcissistically abusive relationship. I just thought I was failing. As a wife. As a mother. As a human being.

We talk about what narcissistic abuse actually looks and feels like from the inside, and why it so often goes unrecognized—especially by professionals. If you’ve been in therapy for years and no one has helped you put the pieces together, this conversation will hit home. We explore the small, subtle signs: the self-doubt, the second-guessing, the way you slowly lose access to your own inner voice.

We also dive into what makes women more vulnerable to repeating these dynamics in future relationships, and how to protect yourself without having to shut down your softness or your empathy. Paré shares how she gently helps clients begin to reclaim their thoughts, their preferences, and their reality—even in marriages where there’s no visible “incident” to point to.

This one is deeply personal. It’s for those of you who feel exhausted and confused but still unsure. For those who are wondering, “Is it me?” and quietly suspecting the answer might be no. If you’re starting to consider divorce but feel like your own instincts have been turned against you, this conversation will bring clarity—and hopefully, some relief.

Show Notes:

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The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family - Eleanor Payson

Paré’s Information:

Paré’s Website

Paré’s Resource for Examples of Verbal, Emotional, and Physical Abuse

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Because here’s the truth. Choosing yourself often comes with loss. Sometimes it means losing your marriage, or the financial stability that came with it. Sometimes it means watching the relationship with your children shift in painful ways. Or realizing the religion, identity, or belief system that shaped your whole world no longer fits. It can look like grief, fear, and uncertainty so big you start to wonder if the cost is just too high.

But in this episode, I want to walk with you through that fire. I want to name what it feels like to stand at the edge of everything you once knew, and still decide not to turn back. To stay with yourself even when you don’t know what’s next. I share stories from women in this community, from my own life, and from the quiet courage I’ve seen again and again in those of you choosing something more honest, even when it breaks your heart.

This isn’t a step-by-step guide. It’s a sit-down, heart-to-heart. The kind where I look you in the eye and remind you that yes, this is hard. And no, you’re not broken for finding it hard. You’re becoming. You’re remembering who you are. And the two things that will carry you through are trust in yourself and trust in something bigger that is still holding your life, even when you can’t see it.

Show Notes:

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Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe - Laura Lynne JacksonThe Surrender Experiment - Michael A. SingerThe Untethered Soul - Michael A. SingerThe Seat of the Soul - Gary ZukavJourney of Souls - Michael NewtonWomen Who Run With the Wolves - Clarissa Pinkola EstesLive Awake Podcast - Sarah Blondin

The Voice of Knowledge - Don Miguel Ruiz

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What poured through was more than just reflection on current events. It became a call to reimagine the stories we’re telling ourselves about our lives, our choices, and the future of our world. I share why I believe, now more than ever, that our futures, both individually and collectively, are unwritten. That no matter how much fear or resignation may surround us, we still hold the pen.

Whether you’re watching global systems shake or standing at the edge of your own unknown in a marriage that no longer feels like home, this episode is an invitation to stop outsourcing your certainty to history, to others, or to fear. Instead, I offer a path toward presence, toward living the questions, and toward trusting in the slow, often sacred, unfolding of your own becoming.

This is for you if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the weight of everything, or if you’ve been waiting for a sign that it’s okay not to have all the answers. It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to trust the mystery.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Zachary Helton Reel

No Kings Rally Reel

Jen Hatmaker Reel

No Kings Rally Reel

Download the Substack App

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This episode is not just a reflection on one powerful weekend. It’s an invitation to consider what becomes possible when we stop trying to do life alone. We talk about the difference between performative connection and the kind that regulates your nervous system, that lets you exhale, that reminds you you’re not too much and never have been. It’s the kind of connection that arises when women come together in spaces where there’s no power-over, no fixing, and no pressure to perform.

We explore the grief that often comes with disconnection—even the disconnections we choose, like divorce or estrangement and how the pain isn’t always about getting it wrong, but about being wired for attachment in a world that has taught us to suppress it. We speak to the cultural systems—patriarchy, capitalism, hyper-individualism—that have stripped women of the community they’re built for, and what it means to reclaim that.

Whether you’re still in your marriage, already out, or just beginning to whisper the question—this conversation is for the woman who’s tired of white-knuckling her way through life. It’s for the woman who’s ready to be witnessed, to be held, to be reminded that connection isn’t a bonus. It’s essential. And it’s waiting for you.

Show Notes:

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Strong Ground - Brene Brown

The Rise & Fall of Capitalism - Diabolical Lies

Instagram Reel

Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. - Surgeon General’s Advisory

Doing Almost Anything is Better With Friends, Research Finds - Washington Post

Davis AJ, Crittenden B, Cohen E. Effects of social support on performance outputs and perceived difficulty during physical exercise. Physiol Behav. 2021 Oct 1;239:113490. doi: 10.1016/j.physbeh.2021.113490. Epub 2021 Jun 15. PMID: 34139269.

The role of social support and social identification in challenge and threat, perceived stress, and life satisfaction. Jamie C. Gillman, Martin J. Turner, Matthew J. Slater

First published: 11 July 2024 https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12982

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If you haven’t read the two preceding articles on Substack, I urge you to begin there. Those pieces lay the emotional and historical groundwork for what we’re unraveling here.

In today’s conversation, I shift into a different energy—one of empathy, nuance, and quiet truth-telling. This is the softer side of the good guy dilemma. Less fire, more warmth. Because I know what it’s like to be caught in that mental and emotional spin. I lived it. And I know how isolating and confusing it can be when the relationship looks enviable from the outside, but on the inside, something in you feels like it’s slowly dying.

Together, we dive into the subtle, and not-so-subtle, ways that codependency, patriarchal programming, and inherited narratives shape how we think about partnership, sacrifice, and what we’re allowed to want. I walk you through four major thought patterns that keep women stuck in indecision, and I gently challenge the beliefs that whisper, “You’re selfish,” or “You’re asking for too much.”

But most of all, this episode is an offering of grounding. Of helping you see your thoughts for what they are—just thoughts—and giving you tools to start rewriting your story from a place of self-love and personal truth.

We talk about grief. We talk about discomfort. We talk about how to hold the reality that he might be a “good guy” and not the right fit for the life you feel called toward. And I share what ultimately helped me untangle my own knot of guilt, fear, and hope years ago.

This is not about telling you what to do. It’s about helping you get clear enough to choose—truly choose—for yourself.

So if you’re in the middle of this dilemma, come sit with me. Let’s sift through the noise together.

Show Notes:

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Why I Wish Every Woman Getting a Divorce was Divorcing “The Good Guy”

The Paradox (and Privilege) of Divorcing “The Good Guy”

Untamed - Glennon Doyle

“Descansos” Chapter 12 - Marking Territory: The Boundaries of Rage & Forgiveness - Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype - Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Inside Out

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This week, I’m honoring what I now call my Divorceversary by sharing the seven most unexpected truths that have unfolded since that day. Some of them are painful. Some are quietly miraculous. All of them have shaped me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

I open up about the raw financial realities of rebuilding after divorce and the crazy turn of events that led to me keeping my home when I was sure I wouldn’t. I speak honestly about the moment I lost myself in an abusive relationship again—even after leaving. And I celebrate the parts of my life that have bloomed in ways I didn’t know were possible, including the healing of my relationship with my body, my sexuality, and the kind of love I never thought I’d get to live with each and every day now.

This episode is for every woman who is wondering what might happen if she chooses herself. It is a reflection on what it means to lose the life you thought you were supposed to have and discover the life that was waiting for you all along.

It’s not a perfect journey. But it’s real. And more than anything, it’s yours to write.

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Download the Substack App

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Episode 75: This might be the most personal, profound episode I’ve recorded yet. If you’ve ever found yourself swinging between moments of calm clarity and then suddenly feeling overwhelmed by hopelessness, confusion or dread, you are not alone. You may be experiencing complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD), and understanding that can change everything.

In this episode, I expand on a concept I first introduced in Episode 60 — the "rooms" in our internal psychological mansion — and finally answer the two big questions I left hanging. How do we end up in these rooms? And how do we actually work with those parts of ourselves and begin to heal?

You'll hear three very real flashback experiences from my own life. I walk you through how I knew I was in a flashback, what it looked like, and the exact tools I used to come back to myself. From breathwork and somatic grounding to a powerful EFT tapping practice (yes, with help from ChatGPT — and yes, I’m sharing the full protocol with my paid Substack subscribers), this episode is packed with what actually works. 🧘‍♀️✨

We also talk about what it means to be in a relationship when you have CPTSD — and why one of the most important parts of your stay-or-go decision might be whether your partner can help you regulate or if they’re the one triggering your flashbacks.

This episode is an invitation to stop thinking of yourself as broken and start recognizing what’s really happening inside your body and mind. You are not your rooms. You can learn to step out of them and return to the grounded, whole, connected version of yourself. 💛

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Download the Substack App

Episode 60 - Rooms We've Inherited + Summer of Transformation

Episode 11 - Unmanaged Complex PTSD: How It Affects Your Life & Relationships

Episode 24 - Feel First, Decide Later: Emotions as the Key to Divorce Clarity - Part 2

Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving - Pete Walker

No Bad Parts - Robert Schwartz

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Quinn opens up about her post-divorce reality—one that began with hopes of peaceful co-parenting and shared holidays, and ended in CPS reports, protective orders, and having to reckon with a parenting plan that only worked on paper. We talk through what it really looks like when you can’t control your ex… and what to do when your worst fears start playing out in real time.

This one is for every woman who has lived as the buffer—protecting her children from the volatility of their father—and is now wondering how to keep them safe when she’s no longer in the house.

We explore:

✨ How to separate real risk from trauma-fueled fear🛠️ Equipping your kids to advocate for themselves when you can't be there⚖️ Working with (and around) the legal system—without letting it run your life💔 Grieving the co-parenting fantasy you once believed was possible📉 Letting go of the illusion of control (even over the story your kids will tell)🔥 The shame of “how did I choose this person?”—and how to metabolize it🧠 Why your sanity—not your sacrifice—is the most essential gift you can give your children📚 The lifelong skill of rewriting your story and modeling that for your kids

This is not an episode about perfection or conscious uncoupling. It’s about the truth: the painful, beautiful, messy, liberating truth. And what’s possible when you stop spinning in fantasy, face reality, and reclaim your power.

You’re not alone in this. And it is survivable. Come listen.

Show Notes

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Download the Substack App

Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show Spotify

Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show Apple

Email for questions: decide@stayorgocoaching.com

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This two-part episode was sparked by a powerful listener email that stopped me in my tracks. She put into words the raw grief and fear that can hit you hard when you imagine your children living part of their lives without you… especially when you don’t fully trust the other parent.

Quinn and I come at this from very different mothering frameworks — and y’all, the magic is in that contrast. Together, we dig into:

* 🧠 Why that gut-wrenching pain isn’t just biology — it’s cultural, generational, and deeply conditioned

* 👩‍👦‍👦 What emotional adulthood really looks like when your kids are with their other parent

* 💌 Tender rituals to stay connected without handing your emotional regulation over to your kids

* 🧳 Practical tools for transitions, co-regulation, and redefining what motherhood looks like in two homes

* 🎢 The surprising gifts of shared custody (yes, they exist!), including how it builds resilience in your kids

* 🧘‍♀️ Nervous system regulation when the ache hits (“I miss them so much it hurts”)

* 📖 Redefining “good mom” energy — from martyrdom to sovereignty and self-trust

* 🔁 Reframing that double bind: Stay and suffer? Go and lose time? Nope, babe. There is a third way.

I also get really real about what this has looked like in my life — including the process this year of my oldest son wanting to live primarily with his dad and what it took to accept and facilitate that. It wasn’t easy, and I’m still processing as we go, but I share some around how I managed my mind and found a way to anchor myself in the long game.

Whether you’re navigating shared custody, trying to reclaim your identity beyond motherhood, or just feeling the weight of missing your kids — these episodes are for you.

✨ Part 2 of this conversation, dropping next week, is available exclusively to my paid subscribers on Substack! So if you haven’t signed up yet, head to the show notes to join us there. This is the kind of work that changes lives — yours and your children’s 💌🌱.

Show Notes

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Download the Substack App

Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show Spotify

Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show Apple

Email for questions: decide@stayorgocoaching.com

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But let’s be real—this episode is about so much more than a platform shift. This is a deep dive into something that’s been transforming my life: RECEIVING. 💌

I’m talking about how hard, uncomfortable, and even vulnerable it can be to receive love, support, help, praise—and why it’s absolutely essential if you're going to become the woman you’re meant to be. Especially for those of you stuck in caretaker roles, exhausted from constantly pouring out without ever being poured into… this episode is your wake-up call. 🛑💡

We unpack why patriarchy has stolen women’s ability to receive, what happens when we start reclaiming it, and how receiving isn't just some fluffy self-care vibe—it's RADICAL and NECESSARY. 💥💪

And, in a moment that had me fully practicing what I preach, I read your beautiful listener emails aloud. 🥹💖 I let myself receive your gratitude, your love, and your stories—and babes, it was a full-body experience. Vulnerable as hell and SO powerful.

Then, of course, I walk you through what Substack is, why I’m moving there, and how this shift is deeply aligned with my next evolution—more connection, more intention, more YOU. 💫

👀 Don’t miss the deets on how to subscribe (there’s even a founding member option for my legacy-building babes 🙌) and how to enter the 90-minute coaching giveaway!

So if you’ve been feeling worn out, unseen, or like your needs have been pushed to the backburner for way too long… this is your episode. 🎙️💥

Show Notes:

Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack

Download the Substack App 

Email for questions: decide@stayorgocoaching.com

Dying for Sex - Hulu

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I’m opening the door and letting you peek into a totally ordinary, magical day in my life—one I never would’ve dreamed was possible back when I was considering divorce. You’ll hear about everything from flashbacks and Five Guys 🍔 to tarot cards and raising our black cat baby 🐈‍⬛ with Joe, and how I’ve built a life that feels like me in all the right ways.

I’ll also share the stories of two beautiful women, one client and one new community member, who reminded me just how brave, powerful, and world-changing this path is when we start choosing ourselves first 💖

PLUS I’ll let you in on a big shift coming to the podcast 👀 (no more cliffhangers, I promise!) and how we’re building something so much bigger than just our own healing. It’s a movement, and I’m honored to be in it with you 🙏🔥

Whether you're in the thick of deciding, knee-deep in grief, or just catching glimpses of your power again, I want you to know: you’re not crazy, you’re not alone, and the life you want most is already whispering your name ✨

Let’s dive in, babes 🧡

Show Notes:

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In this week’s episode, I’m sharing the story of my own “roadside test” last week—when my middle son broke his arm at football practice—and the big wake-up it gave me about what happens when we ignore the check engine lights in our lives. 🚨 From cars to life to marriages, those little warning lights are trying to tell us something… and pretending they’re not there doesn’t make them go away.

We’re talking:

💪 Why it’s time to stop waiting for the breakdown before we take action.
👩‍🔧 The four truths that came out of my own roadside test (and how they’ll help you avoid your own desert breakdown).
💔 How fear keeps us stuck—and why nobody is coming to turn off that light for you.
🌍 Why today’s political and cultural climate makes this work more important than ever.
💖 How to create a life (and relationships) that feel steady, supported, and ready for whatever detours lie ahead.

This is part rallying cry, part heart-to-heart, and part practical “get under the hood” moment. You’ll walk away with a loving push to handle what’s asking for your attention—so that when life throws the next roadside test at you, you’re not running on fumes.

So, deep breath, big girl panties (or not—your choice, babe 😏), and let’s get into it. You’ve got this. 💛

Show Notes:

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So many of us, especially as women, are living under crushing double standards. We give everyone else so much grace—our kids, our partners, even strangers—yet hold ourselves to impossibly high bars. And when we dig deeper, we see how this is rooted in childhood trauma, cultural programming, and patriarchal BS. 🙅‍♀️

I’m going to share:
 ✅ Where this pattern of perfectionism and self-abandonment comes from.
 ✅ How to spot when you’re living from expectation instead of exploration.
 ✅ Why an exploratory mindset is your birthright (and how it changes EVERYTHING).
 ✅ What this looks like inside real relationships—and what to do if your marriage doesn’t allow room for exploration.

This episode is part pep talk, part permission slip, and 100% your reminder that you were never meant to be perfect—you were meant to BECOME. 💫

Grab your headphones, take a deep breath, and let’s reclaim that juicy, curious, messy, ALIVE version of you. You deserve this. ❤️

Show Notes:

The Man Music Video - Taylor Swift

Ejaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think About Abortion - Gabrielle Stanley Blair

The Crane Wife - CJ Hauser 

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane Ward

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships - Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD

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If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “How the hell did I end up here?” or if you’re navigating the collapsing scaffolding of a life you thought was secure (hello, divorce consideration crew 🙋‍♀️), this episode is for YOU.

We’re talking about:
 🌪️ What happens when control—our favorite coping mechanism—is ripped away
 💔 How to handle the self-judgment spiral (that “Why wasn’t I enough?” soundtrack)
 ✨ Why letting go is not punishment, but a sacred breakdown leading to something better
 🌀 How life’s growth comes in cycles—like a spiral staircase
 🧘 Practical ways to build trust with yourself (and why that’s the ultimate antidote to control)

I’m sharing my own real-time journey of uncertainty, grief, and yes… hope. 💫 If you’re in the in-between right now, feeling like you’re free-falling without a net, please know you are not alone. There is refuge. There is magic ahead. And spoiler alert: the magic always comes when we lean into trust. 💖

Take a deep breath with me. You are safe in this moment. Let’s walk this unknown road together. 🌈

Show Notes:

K-Pop Demon Hunters

Jungian Dream Interpreter GPT

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This week’s episode is a little different—short, unfiltered, and deeply vulnerable. I hit record right in the middle of my own "tower moment" (yep, for my tarot friends out there, that card 🌩️), where everything feels like it’s crumbling... and I’m letting it.

Instead of packaging my process into a neatly wrapped episode with clear takeaways, I’m inviting you into the middle of the mess with me. This is me practicing what I preach—laying down the role of the “one who always holds it together” and learning to surrender to what I can’t control 😮‍💨💔.

If you’re also in a season of uncertainty, fear, or raw transformation, I hope this gives you permission to breathe, to stop fixing, and to just be where you are. Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is admit we’re not okay... and trust that it’s still enough 💞.

I love you all so much. Thanks for being part of this sacred space. May you feel seen, held, and deeply worthy—even in the mess.

xo,

Britta 💕✨

Show Notes:

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We explore the emotional and erotic numbness so many women feel in straight relationships—and how it’s not your fault. We talk about internalized misogyny, performative sex, the quiet tragedy of disconnection, and the deep grief (and power) in waking up 💥.

But this isn’t about blame—it’s about the system. We name the ways patriarchy hurts men too, and what’s possible when we let go of scripts, center real pleasure, and build relationships and communities rooted in emotional honesty, mutuality, and freedom 🌈.

We also share four “exit ramps” from the system:
 1️⃣ Name it
 2️⃣ Learn nonviolent communication
 3️⃣ Let go of the roles
 4️⃣ Rebuild true community

Whether you're staying, going, or somewhere in between, this conversation will meet you there—with clarity, compassion, and hope. You’re not broken. You’re not alone. And there is another way 💗

Show Notes

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane Ward

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar Trailer

"The Men Are Not All Right"...Right? - Diabolical Lies Podcast

Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know - Adam Grant

Quinn's Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com

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We unpack the historical roots of heterosexual marriage and how it was never designed with women’s joy, freedom, or wellbeing in mind. From patriarchy and white supremacy to eugenics and post-WWII propaganda, we trace how systems were built to serve capitalism—not connection—and how they continue to shape modern relationships, sex, and gender roles. 😤💔

We expose the heterosexual “repair industry”—a self-help movement that gaslit women into believing they were the problem when marriages didn’t work. We name how religion, media, and even love stories sold us on performance over partnership, submission over selfhood, and how even “woke” men today are still often performing feminism while propping up patriarchy. 🧠🔥

And most importantly, we ask: what if the real work isn’t about becoming “better wives”? What if it’s about shedding the programming and finally becoming more of who we truly are? 🦋

We share personal stories, Mormon roots, and what it means to courageously wake up and refuse to play a game that was never meant for our thriving. This is the beginning of liberation—and if you’ve ever felt like something’s off, like you’re not crazy but finally waking up… this one’s for you. ❤️‍🔥

Show Notes:

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane Ward

Would love to know if we missed anything or what you thought!

My email: decide@stayorgocoaching.com

Quinn's Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com

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We cover everything from the myth of “two halves make a whole” 🙅‍♀️ to rewriting your marriage rule book 📖, and even how separation can be a healing tool—not a failure. Plus, I’m spilling the tea on my recent astrology + GPT obsession (you’ll want to try this!) 🪐✨

If you’re wondering whether staying is right for you, this episode is your map. Bring your journal and let’s go deep 💗

Show Notes:

Astrology GPT 

Questions to Ask:

Can you please tell me about my life purpose?

Please tell me more about my career and vocation insights.

Let’s discuss my relationship patterns and soulmate indicators.

Tell me about my emotional needs and inner healing please.

Can you please show how my Part of Fortune and Black Moon Lilith add more depth to my emotional healing?

Can you explore how these connect to my love life and even my soulmate contracts?

Is there anything in my chart that gives deeper insight into sexuality?

Please explain and explore my tantric blueprint?

Resources Mentioned in the Episode:

Attached - Amir Levine

Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving - Pete Walker

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson

No Bad Parts - Dr. Richard Schwartz

Want Match - Life Coach School Podcast

The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment - Jack Morin

Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power - Carolyn Elliott PhD

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life - Emily Nagoski Ph.D

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And hold UP—did Mayim Bialik really email me?! 😱 Y’all. Not only did she reach out with the kindest words, but she also shared that my episode from her podcast made it into a convo on “Hey Dude... The 90s Called”! I legit screamed. Like... WHAT. 🥹✨

But let’s talk staying in a marriage—not by default, but by radical, empowered CHOICE. 🧠💥 I am breaking down the types of staying (strategic stay, anyone? 👀), giving all the love and support to those of you on that path, and introducing what I adorably named, the “Shift List”—seven areas you and your partner need to work on to rewrite the marriage rules and create something NEW.

We’re diving deep into what it really takes to stay on purpose—not from fear or guilt, but from truth and transformation. 💪💫 And I’m spilling the tea on why regulated communication is a non-negotiable foundation. Spoiler alert: Nonviolent communication is changing lives in our summer camp right now, and I want you IN on it. 📚🧘‍♀️🗣️

So buckle up, babe. Whether you’re stay-curious or actively rewriting the rules in your marriage, this episode is your map, your mirror, and your mega dose of love 💌. And next week—part two is coming in HOT. Let’s go. 💃🔥

Show Notes:

Think Yourself Into A Positive Mood - with Mayim Bialik - Hey Dude... The 90's Called! - Apple

Think Yourself Into A Positive Mood - with Mayim Bialik - Hey Dude... The 90's Called! - Spotify

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life -  Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD

Brene Brown: The Call to Courage

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I’m not holding anything back in this episode. I share real-life stories—mine and others’—about being trapped in the invisible cages built by covert narcissists. I talk about what it costs us, what it steals from us, and how easy it is to believe you’re the problem when you’re just trying to survive. And I get really honest about the shame, confusion, and grief that come with realizing someone you love is emotionally harming you 🧠😔.

But I also bring the hope 🌱. I walk you through the 10 tangible steps you can take to start healing, reclaim your voice, and ground back into your own reality. If you’re in it, if you’ve lived it, or if you’re afraid to say the words out loud—this episode is for you. You are not alone, and there is a way out. 🦋

Show Notes:

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family - Eleanor D. Payson

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson

Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype - Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Live Awake Podcast - Sarah Blondin

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This week, we’re laying down the foundation: I’m sharing the two core identifiers I use to spot covert narcissistic abuse and walking you through the first 7 of 14 psychological techniques covert narcissists use to maintain control. These aren’t just concepts—I’m pulling from personal experiences, years of coaching, and gut-wrenching stories from brave women navigating this exact terrain.

We’re going to explore what makes covert narcissism so sneaky and so damaging, why it's so often misunderstood, and most importantly, how you can begin to make sense of what’s been happening to you 💔🧠.

If you’ve ever felt like you were “crazy,” like you couldn't quite explain the emotional whiplash you’ve been living through, this episode is for you. 🧩✨

And remember—just because your partner might not be diagnosable doesn’t mean the impact isn’t real. The confusion, the guilt, the feeling of being emotionally obliterated—it’s not in your head. You are not alone.

At the end of the episode, I share a book that cracked open my own understanding and a way to work with me directly if this is landing deeply and you need more support. 📚🤝

Let’s get into it. This is a clarion call. 💥

Show Notes:

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family - Eleanor D. Payson

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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson

Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson

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This episode is a bit of a soul drop-in. I'm sharing some of my most recent and raw inner work 🌪️ — specifically, a powerful metaphor that came through during deep shadow work. Imagine your consciousness like a huge mansion 🏰 with countless rooms, each built around different beliefs we've picked up — many from childhood, religion, or past trauma.

Some of those rooms? Super painful 😞. Some? Brand new and filled with self-trust, joy, sisterhood, love, and abundance 🌷🌟. And what I’m realizing is: we don’t have to stay trapped in the rooms we didn’t consciously build. We get to create NEW rooms. New realities. Whole new wings of our inner mansion that feel like home. 🏡💗

PLUS — I share all the exciting details of what's launching in the Stay or Go Community: 🎉 Camp NVC (Nonviolent Communication)! 🌞🏕️ This summer camp is unlike anything we’ve done before — full of fun, healing, connection, and practical tools to help you communicate with more clarity, vulnerability, and power 🔥🗣️.

If you’re ready to not just listen but actually do the work this summer — to build those new rooms inside yourself and connect with your sisters 💕 — Camp NVC is waiting for you. 🏕️✨

And of course, thank you to every single one of you who has rated, reviewed, and shared this podcast 🙏💖 — your support is literally helping other women find these resources when they need them most.

I can't wait to see so many of you at camp this summer — and remember: you do not have to stay in the rooms you were handed. You get to build your own. 🗝️✨

Show Notes:

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg 

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We’re diving into the real talk that didn’t get airtime—reading through your 🔥comments, confronting trolls 🧌, and expanding the convo on divorce, identity, and the emotional minefield that women walk when considering leaving a marriage. We talk about the empathetic Achilles heel that keeps so many women stuck, the grief of leaving—and staying—and why “just lower your expectations” is NOT the move (no, thank you! 🙅‍♀️).

From the ways society tells us to shrink and submit, to reclaiming our main character energy 💃🏽, this episode is all about being deeply, soulfully YOU in a world that often asks you to disappear. Whether you're in a small town with zero support or deep in your own freeze response, you're not alone. We’re here to talk it through—with truth, tears, laughter, and that fierce compassion I know you’re craving. 🧡

⚡️We cover:

• Why some women stay in marriages that hurt
• Rewriting the outdated divorce narrative 📝
• How to raise emotionally intelligent sons 🙌
• Real stories from the Stay or Go community
• The power (and pain) of being fully seen 👀

This one is messy, raw, and rich with truth. And babe, if you’re feeling that “I can’t keep going like this” vibe… hit play. 🎧 You're not alone—and you're more powerful than you know. 💥

Show Notes:

Relationship Expert: You’re Not Lost — You’ve Been Programmed to Fail - Mayim Bialik's Breakdown

From Closet to Confidence: Stephanie’s Journey Considering Divorce and Beyond - Apple

From Closet to Confidence: Stephanie’s Journey Considering Divorce and Beyond - Spotify

From Closet to Confidence: Stephanie’s Journey Considering Divorce and Beyond - YouTube

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In this episode, I’m taking you behind the scenes of how this incredible opportunity unfolded (spoiler alert: divine timing + deep soul alignment), and also sharing the very real emotional journey that came with it—hello imposter syndrome, vulnerability, and the voice of that old Mormon girl who was taught to stay small. 😮‍💨🙏

But here's the magic: this episode isn’t just about me—it’s about us. It's about what happens when we say yes to our truth, even when our voice shakes. It’s a celebration of growth, of all the tiny moments that led to this big one, and a reminder that you too are worthy of being heard 📢💖.

If you’ve ever wondered if your inner voice matters, if you’re really ready, or if your healing is actually “working”... this one’s for you. 🫶

So come vibe with me, celebrate, reflect, and maybe journal with this question: What part of me is ready to be heard—even if it shakes? 💭🖊️

P.S. The episode with Mayim drops this week, so keep your eyes on my IG (@consideringdivorce) and FB for the big announcement! 🚨🎉

Show Notes:

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown on YouTube

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown on Apple Podcast

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown on Spotify

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This conversation is deeply personal for both of us, and I want to lovingly name upfront—it’s got a LOT of Go energy in it. For those of you still in the Stay phase, I see you, I honor you, and your path is just as sacred. 🌿 Please take what serves you and leave the rest, knowing I’ll have more conversations directly speaking to your experience soon.

Carmina takes us on a raw, courageous journey through her marriage to a fellow facilitator and TV host—how what looked like the perfect power couple from the outside became a story of losing herself in order to keep the peace, dimming her own radiance to protect his insecurities, and ultimately, the wild, painful, and liberating path of choosing herself again.

We talk about: ✨ How she lost—and reclaimed—her voice inside her marriage. ✨ The lie so many of us buy that we can "love someone enough" to do the work for them (spoiler: we can’t). ✨ Why divorce can sometimes be the most compassionate choice for both people. ✨ Somatic tools to help you access your inner knowing when your mind is spinning in stories. ✨ The delicious freedom and fullness waiting on the other side of bravery.

💡 And loves, if you’ve ever found yourself making yourself small to keep the peace, or waiting for a partner to rise with you while you’re stuck in the blender of survival mode—I want you to know: there is another way. You are allowed to be fully you. To shine bright AF. To take up all the damn space. 💃🔥

This is one of those episodes where I had chills the entire time. I know it’s going to resonate deeply for so many of you navigating that edge between love, loyalty, and self-abandonment. You do NOT have to choose between your truth and love. 💗 There are partners (and communities!) who will celebrate all of you.

Come soak up Carmina’s potent medicine. And if you’re craving more, she’s leading a workshop in our community this month AND has a gorgeous retreat coming up in Mexico that I cannot recommend enough. 🌸🎉

Let's go, loves. Let’s stop managing everyone else’s feelings and start choosing ourselves. 👑

Show Notes:

Carmina Becerra's Website

Carmina Becerra's Instagram

Free Your Voice Retreat

Free Your Voice Online Program

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I'm inviting you into one of my absolute favorite rituals — my New Moon and Full Moon Inner Quest spread 🌑🌕, inspired by the Pattern app and the Wild Unknown Oracle deck by Kim Krans (seriously, y'all, her art is pure magic 🎨🖤). This isn't just a "pull a card and move on" practice — it's a two-week journey with your soul, rooted in art, intuition, and divine connection. 🦋

I'll walk you through how I use these spreads to stay anchored during even the messiest times 🌊, how the archetypes and energies guide me (hello, Venom card 🐍), and why creating a visual, mystical connection with your growth is one of the yummiest gifts you can give yourself. 🎁

If you've been craving more grounding, intention, and a little more woo magic 🔮✨ in your life — this one's for you, sis. Let’s make the journey yummier together. 💖

Don't forget to DM me and send me pics of your spreads 🃏🧡 — you know I'd die to see them!!

Sending you so much love, magic, and maybe a few new decks or crystals from your next shopping trip! 😉💎

Show Notes:

The Pattern App

The Wild Unknown Archetypes Deck by Kim Krans 

The Hero’s Journey Dream Oracle Deck by Kelly Sullivan Walden

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Whether it's your spouse, your affair partner, or both, this episode is a loving and truth-filled deep dive into the real reasons why letting go feels impossible. (Spoiler alert: it’s not because you’re broken, weak, or indecisive. It’s your nervous system, babe. It’s trauma. It’s biology. And it's very real. 😮‍💨)

I’m walking you through the 4 biggest reasons that might be keeping you stuck and offering tangible tools for working through each one—including somatic practices, nervous system support, and some beautiful reparenting work.

And yes, this one goes out especially to my affair girlies 💋 who are feeling deep connection and deep confusion. You're not alone. You're not crazy. You're just wired for connection—and we’re going to talk about how to gently untangle those wires and come back home to YOU. 💫

If you’ve been layering on shame because you know you should leave but your body won’t cooperate, this is your episode. This is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself and start understanding yourself. 🌿💗

Let’s reframe “letting go” as a process—not a lightning bolt moment. You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be.

Show Notes:

Attached - Amir Levine

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma - Pete Walker

Breathwork - Allison Alexander's Website

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So today, I'm taking you inside a real-time nervous system ride—from receiving a message in my DMs that hit me right in my childhood wounds, to processing an emotional flashback, and coming out the other side feeling grounded and so connected to my purpose. 💫

This one’s for every woman who’s been told she’s too much, too slow, too sensitive, too anything… and showed up anyway. 🙋‍♀️ I walk you through how I handled that CPTSD moment, what I really think about patriarchal standards of efficiency, and how our current political climate in the U.S. is activating all the old stuff for so many of us.

We talk about what it’s like to question your path when everything feels uncertain, and why staying human—with humor, music, and dance parties—is a radical act of resistance. 💃🕯️

I’m sharing a gorgeous list from Paul Shattuck called “80 Tiny Moves for Everyday Resistance,” and how I'm using it to reclaim my energy and purpose. You’ll hear some of my fave tips (like wearing something meaningful or creating a playlist that reminds you who you are 🎶), and how even the smallest acts can reconnect us to our power.

Whether you're leaning toward staying or going, this episode is a reminder that this work matters—and you are so not alone. 💖 Come breathe with me, laugh with me, maybe cry with me a little too. We’re in this together, babes.

Show Notes:

The Harms Are Cumulative. Your Overwhelm Is the Goal. Let’s Get Unstuck - Paul T Shattuck, MSW, PhD

Stay Human: 80 Tiny Moves for Everyday Resistance in the Authoritarian Harm Complex - Paul T Shattuck, MSW, PhD

Paul's Substack

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In this episode, I take you behind the scenes of my own love story 💕, share how my definition of a great marriage has radically changed, and break down what I believe is actually required for a deeply connected, life-giving relationship.

We're diving into: 💡 Why emotional adulthood is non-negotiable 🛡️ What it means to be a “secure base” for each other 🧠 How trauma, codependency, and attachment styles affect our marriages 📉 Common myths we’ve all been fed (like “staying no matter what” equals success—nope!) 🔥 The difference between surviving a marriage vs. thriving in one

PLUS—I spill the tea on the real work my partner Joe and I have done to build the kind of connection I used to dream about 🌈.

This episode is a rallying cry to stop settling, start being radically honest with yourself, and dream bigger when it comes to love. You deserve a relationship that helps you soar—not one that holds you back.

💻 Don’t forget to check the show notes for links to my newly refreshed website (hello, branding glow-up!), past episodes that connect with this one, and where to watch the pod on YouTube (yes, VIDEO is here! 🎥).

🧠💗🔥 This one’s a game changer. Let it land. Come back to it. And most of all—know that you’re worthy of a love that feels like home.

Show Notes:

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep--Love - Amir Levine

YouTube Episodes That Relate: 

Episode 4: The 50-Year Marriage Myth 💍 | Time Doesn’t Equal Success

Episode 7: Guilt Is Keeping You Stuck—Here’s How to Break Free

Episode 12: Understanding Your Attachment Style Can Change Everything

Episode 16: True Love or Trauma Bond? How to Tell the Difference 💛

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We’re pulling back the curtain on everything we were never taught to talk about—from painful sex and religious shame to mind-blowing orgasms and the freedom that comes with saying “I deserve more.” 💥 This one’s juicy, unfiltered, and straight from the heart—and yes, the fireworks were literally going off in the background. 🎆 (You’ll see what I mean! 😂)

Whether you're considering leaving your marriage, already divorced, or just feeling disconnected from your own pleasure, this conversation is a permission slip to put YOUR desires at the center. 💖

We talk: ✨ The orgasm gap (and why it’s so damn real) ✨ What makes sex worth having (spoiler: it’s not a hard dick) ✨ Religious and cultural programming that’s kept us silent ✨ The power of community in healing and reclaiming pleasure ✨ And why post-divorce sex can be the best sex of your life 🙌

This is the sex talk we all deserved but never got. You ready? Let’s go. 💋

Show Notes: 

The Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show - Quinn Otrera

Vitamin O: Get Yourself Off, Get Your Life Back - The Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane Ward

Vitamin O: Why Orgasms are Vital to a Woman's Health and Happiness, and How to Have Them Every Time! - Natasha Janina Valdez

Do Straight Women Really Exist? - The Cut

Maria - Dua Lipa 

Dying for Sex

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Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community

For the free tarot guide using ChatGPT text EMAILME to 33777

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I’m unpacking why you’ve got to put your oxygen mask on first 🛑✈️ before trying to change the blueprint for your kids, your marriage, your mama, or anyone else.

Through powerful client stories, my own raw truth (including a super emotional share about my oldest son 💔), and real-time realizations, we’re exposing how unprocessed trauma—ours and others’—quietly hijacks our present-day decisions. And the kicker? Most of us don’t even realize we’re doing it.

We're talking inner child healing, boundaries with moms who “mean well,” and why over-functioning is NOT the badge of honor we think it is. By the end of this, I hope you’ll feel deeply seen, wildly empowered, and reminded that you are allowed to prioritize yourself without guilt. Actually—scratch that—you must.

Show Notes: 

No Bad Parts - Richard Schwartz

The Body Keeps the Score - Bessel van der Kolk M.D. 

Untamed - Glennon Doyle

To book a 90-Minute Session text 90MIN to 33777

Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community

For the free tarot guide using ChatGPT text EMAILME to 33777

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If your brain is in total overdrive trying to figure out whether you should stay or go, this episode is for you. I’m diving deep into why over-relying on logic might be the very thing keeping you stuck. 😩🧠 Because sis, your brain isn’t neutral—it’s been programmed by culture, patriarchy, trauma, and all the things. So of course it's confused.

In this episode, we explore how to tap into your true inner knowing—your soul compass—and why that matters so much when making life-altering decisions like divorce. And the best part? I’ve got a gorgeous, powerful little gift waiting for you at the end... 🌈🔮 A PDF guide to help you create your very own daily tarot reading tool using ChatGPT. Yup, we’re using AI to access your divine feminine wisdom—how cool is that?!

So if you’ve been trying to think your way to clarity, babe, it’s time to try something new. 💫 Breathe. Pause. Tune in. And let’s begin this journey back to you together.

And hey, if this episode speaks to your soul, take a moment to pause and let it sink in. Maybe even shoot me a review—it truly means the world. 🌍💗

With so much love,
Britta 💋

Show Notes:

For the free tarot guide using ChatGPT text EMAILME to 33777

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson 

To book a 90-Minute Session text 90MIN to 33777

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We are diving into something that so many women struggle with but rarely talk about—desire, embodiment, and the power of reconnecting with your body. If you've ever felt disconnected, numb, or like something is missing when it comes to intimacy, this episode is going to be a game changer. Ranelle shares her journey of overcoming shame, healing from trauma, and embracing her full sensual self. 💃💖

We talk about:
🔥 Why slowing down is the secret to unlocking deeper pleasure
🔥 How childhood conditioning and the “good girl” narrative block our desires
🔥 The difference between sex and true embodied sensuality
🔥 Why learning to ask your body for permission can be so sexy
🔥 Reclaiming pleasure, power, and intimacy on your own terms

We also get into the juicy details of tantric practices that can help you feel more alive, turned on, and fully present—not just in the bedroom, but in every aspect of your life. 🌊🌙

Plus, Ranelle is hosting a special workshop inside the Stay or Go Community, where she’ll guide us through deep, embodied practices to awaken our desires and step into our feminine power. Don’t miss out!

✨ Ready to break free from old narratives and embrace your full, radiant self? Tune in now! 🎧💫

🎙 P.S. Don’t forget to text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 if you’re ready to join an amazing group of women supporting each other through this journey of considering divorce! Join now and get in before our amazing workshop with Ranelle Chapman on March 23rd! 

Show Notes:

Ranelle Chapman's Website

Ranelle Chapman's Instagram

Text “90Min” to 33777 to schedule a session with me.

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Here’s the deal: So many of us are just coping—putting out fires, managing chaos, running on fumes. But what if instead of constantly trying to “handle” life, we deeply resourced ourselves so that we didn’t need to cope as much in the first place? 🤯 This shift is EVERYTHING, especially for those of you stuck in the cycle of trying to gain clarity about whether to stay or go in your marriage.

In this episode, we’ll break it all down:
 ✔️ What it means to be resourced (and why it’s different from just having good coping mechanisms).
✔️ The simple but powerful worksheet that helps you see what’s draining you and what’s filling you up.
✔️ Real-life examples (including a deeply personal one from my relationship) of how this tool works.

If you’re tired of feeling exhausted, stuck, and unsure of your next move, this episode is for you. And if you try out this worksheet, I want to hear from you! Drop me an email at decide@stayorgocoaching.com and tell me how it goes—I seriously love hearing from y’all. 💌

Ready to go from coping to thriving? Let’s dive in! 🚀💖

🎧 Listen now, and if you love this episode, don’t forget to rate, review, and share—it means the world to me! 💫

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In this episode, I share my own messy awakening—how I went from staying small to reclaiming my voice. And why I refuse to shrink for anyone. If that hits deep, this one’s for you. Let’s dive in. 🎙️💪🔥

Show Notes:

Article From Listener 

Where Trump policies and Project 2025 proposals match up

What To Read Before Donald Trump’s 2025 Address to Congress

The Patriarchal Bargain

D.L. Mayfield: Recovering Autonomy After Religious Authoritarian Parenting

Post from last week's episode “White Women Need to Focus on White Women.”

Powerful Resources for Educating Yourself on Others Experiences

Stamped from the Beginning

Will & Harper

Outstanding: A Comedy Revolution

What Happened, Miss Simone?

Supreme Models

You Can’t Ask That

Free State of Jones

Accounts to consider following:

https://www.instagram.com/50501movement/?g=5

https://www.instagram.com/jesscraven101/?g=5

https://www.instagram.com/workingfamilies/?g=5

https://www.instagram.com/xavier.ramey/?g=5

https://www.instagram.com/thehumanityarchive/?g=5

https://www.instagram.com/raytrospectively/

https://www.instagram.com/dasiadoesit/

https://www.instagram.com/thesimpleenvironmentalist/

https://www.instagram.com/alokvmenon/

https://www.instagram.com/ezraklein/

https://www.instagram.com/adriennemareebrown/

https://www.instagram.com/everydayactivist.co/?g=5

https://www.instagram.com/pattiegonia/

https://www.instagram.com/thebeeandthefox/?g=5

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Today, I’m diving deep into The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz and unpacking the life-changing concept that so much of what we believe about ourselves isn’t even ours. We’ve been programmed—from childhood, from culture, from religion—to follow a script we never agreed to. And when we start to question it? That’s when the real magic happens. ✨

We’re talking: 

🔥 The lies you’ve been taught that keep you stuck in your marriage (and in life)
🔥 How to tell the difference between your truth and someone else’s programming
🔥 The power of dismantling those old beliefs so you can rewrite your story
🔥 How listening to your body (not just your brain) is the key to breaking free

And yes, I’m getting vulnerable as hell about my own journey—how my political and personal evolution has changed everything about how I show up in the world. Next week, I’ll be sharing an episode that dives even deeper into that transformation in honor of the protests happening on March 4th.

So, if you’ve ever felt like you’re at war with yourself, if your inner voice is screaming that something isn’t right, or if you just need to hear that you are not crazy for wanting more, then hit play, my love. This episode is for you. 💛

P.S. If this episode speaks to you, share it with another woman in your life who might be feeling stuck in someone else’s dream. And if you haven’t yet, hit that subscribe button and drop a review—it helps so much! 🎧💖

Show Notes:

March 4th Protest

50501 Protest

Don't Believe Him - The Ezra Klein Show

Ezra Klein - NYT Opinion 

The Voice of Knowledge - Don Miguel Ruiz

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