This is an unmitigated disaster.  A woman containing her man, or a man repeatedly reaching to his woman for containment is a severe breakdown in hierarchy and polarity.

The bulk of the blame for this breakdown I would put squarely on the men.  If you have allowed this to happen in your relationship, the fault is yours.  If you have SOUGHT this out in your relationship with your woman, you have ushered in your own breakdown and misery.

On women’s part, there are a few shadow pieces that cause them to seek this reversed polarity or at least say yes to it.  These shadow pieces are also worth examining.

On the man’s part, if you are not offering your woman consistent, good Containment, your chances of LEADING her in your relationship are nil.

If you are not Containing your woman, your chances of Dominating her erotically are also nil.

Many men can’t connect these dots.  I hope this will be clearer to you after this video.

— Om Rupani

On women’s part, there are 3 significant shadow pieces that cause them to end up in relationships with men who are not capable of Containing them, and whom they end up Containing instead:

1.  You don’t know any better.  You have never been Contained in your life.  You don’t even know that is something you should be seeking from your man.

2.  You had a weak father who sought Containment from the women in his life, possibly even you.

3.  Your Maternal Energies are misfiring and misplaced.

COUPLES’ COURSE : https://omrupani.org/#/dscouples/

www.OmRupani.org

This is the first video in this series.  This lament from women that their husband/partner has become like their child is far and wide these days.  I believe the lament is genuine.  That the problem and breakdown is genuine.

I believe this problem is rooted in the collapse of male leadership, and the collapse of RESPECT from the feminine towards the masculine.  

Unless we understand this phenomenon in its correct context, and acknowledge the need for healthy hierarchy between women and men, this problem will persist and will be impossible to solve.

Modern culture shuns the idea of a hierarchical dynamic between men and women, and yet the collapse of this hierarchy is the root of so much of the misery and failure in man-woman relationships today.

—  Om Rupani

COUPLES’ COURSE : https://omrupani.org/dscouples

www.OmRupani.org

I’m reducing the course fee for BDSM FUNDAMENTALS in the Dominican Republic, June 4 - 10.

Course fee was $4400.  I’m reducing it to $3200.

The fee includes room and board (with a double room).

There are some quad rooms also available for $2800.

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/bdsmfundamentals

——————————————-

Many people are feeling understandably stressed and contracted during this time of global upheaval and war.  I really empathize.  I too have felt the desire to just hunker down.  But, from past experiences, I can share that these times of stress and contraction sometimes also can offer us pathways towards having breakthrough and expansion.

As annoying as the Covid period was, in retrospect, it turned out to be a very productive and prolific time for my work.

I hope more of you will join for this very rich and tested exploration.  Hope the reduced cost will serve as an incentive.

I’m listing below the benefits I have observed students have from taking the BDSM FUNDAMENTALS course.  Both singles and couples welcome.

BENEFITS OF TAKING BDSM FUNDAMENTALS WITH OM RUPANI

Both men and women will get a proper sense of the Dominant and the Submissive archetypes.  They will also get a better sense of where on these 4 quadrants do each of them mainly falls.

1.  Dominant Man.

2.  Submissive Man.

3.  Dominant Woman.

4.  Submissive Woman.

Knowing your constitution more clearly in this manner lays out the path for you to more fully accept who you are, and to also seek the correct partnerships that complement your energies.

***************************

You will learn to give and receive CONTAINMENT.  This skill alone can be a life-changer for many couples.  Men not giving good Containment to their women is one of the biggest breakdowns in relationships.  Fix this, and a ton of other problems you’ve been having may just disappear.

***************************

You will receive permission for your fuller erotic expression.  This course container is where you are allowed to pursue your desires and be who you really are.  Everyone is in the same boat in this course, so there is a shared vulnerability that we are all creating the permission field for each other’s erotic expression and the shedding of erotic shame.

***************************

You will get a SUPERLATIVE education in the BDSM arts in these 7 days!  You will learn body safety, impact play, spanking, flogging, sensation play, pain play, combining pain and pleasure.  And that will also bring us to the midpoint of our week.  From there we explore a variety of psychological play — Humiliation Play, Objectification Play, Exclusion Play.  You will move further into different forms of Role Play — Daddy/Little Girl, Master-Slave, and more playful invented erotic roles.

In this one week, you will receive a thorough foundation in the BDSM arts.  You will be well on your way to creating effective and fun scenes with your partners.

***************************

THE 4 QUADRANTS:

1.  DOMINANT MAN.  If you discover that your joy is in dominating your woman sexually and leading her in your romantic relationship, that gives you the clarity about which further skills you need to acquire to fully come into your Dominance.  For you, I highly recommend coming with your woman to the Couples’ Training.

2.  SUBMISSIVE WOMAN.  Similarly, you will know that your joy is in picking the right kind of Dominant Man who

www.OmRupani.org

PODCAST TOPICS:

1. Om’s origin story.
2. The failed experiment of women investigating masculinity.
3. The Modern Woman False Archetype — The Karen archetype.
4. Men have lost their radar while being across from masculine women.
5. How women use their erotic power and energy in a second rate manner.
6. When we use our Eros as a means to some secondary end, we misuse it.
7. Women employing their Eros to prop up their self-esteem is a crucible the feminine has to pass through.
8. Women’s Eros is so much bigger than what most women use their Eros for.
9. The shift happens when a woman begins LISTENING to her Eros, instead of using her Eros as a bargaining chip.
10. The difference is between staying in control and finding a place where you can surrender your control.
11. When you start listening to Eros, Eros is in charge.  Neither partner, neither Dom nor sub, is in charge.
12. When you truly allow Eros to move, often times catharsis happens.  
13. Eros is not hot and sexy; eros is a firehose to our system.
14. Eros is a mess.  It is not controllable.
15. The Modern Woman dreads this chaos of her Eros.
16. The longer a woman avoids her Eros, the greater her fear and aversion gets towards entering her Eros.
17. Men today have become unimpressive.
18. If the woman doesn’t respect the man, nothing else is going to happen.
19. Today, most women don’t respect most men.  That’s why we are in a hole.
20. Most men don’t have the wherewithal to take women into their Erotic chaos.
21. Women seem to be fed up with couples’ work.
22. Women seem tired of working on their relationships with their men.
23. The skilled Dom knows how to listen to their submissive’s system.
24. Women’s feminine embodiment is inspirational and course-correcting for men.
25. Right now, men don’t know how to win with women.

CALENDAR OF COURSES : https://omrupani.org/workshops-test/

www.OmRupani.org

Hello Everyone.  I’m very excited to be offering a new week-long, couples’ retreat, especially for men and women who know that they want the man to be in the lead/dominant position in their dynamic, and they want the woman to move deeper into her feminine submission.

For the first time, I will be teaching on the topic of RELATIONAL DOMINANCE-SUBMISSION, compared to only sharing about EROTIC DOMINANCE-SUBMISSION (BDSM).

This couples’ retreat will be 50% RELATIONAL D/S, 50% EROTIC D/S (BDSM).

These are charge-y topics.  There is a lot of misunderstanding and bad ideas around the notions of any hierarchical dynamic, particularly around the idea of a woman submitting to a man.  In this conversation I want to cover two foundation points that might help people clarify their thoughts and expectations around this matter — at least in the manner that I teach these topics.

These are the two main cornerstones of how I conceive this exploration:

1.  SELF - INTEREST.
2. GOOD LEADERSHIP / GOOD FOLLOWERSHIP.

This video/podcast discusses these two cornerstones.

One more important point worth touching on early, for all those who think they want to occupy the Dominant position.  These are my 3 basic criteria for what a good Dominant brings — into their Relationship and into the EROTIC field with their submissive:

1.  The Dom should deserve to lead their submissive.  Meaning, the Dom should have integrity, be self-contained, keep their word, be consistent, be reliable.  These are not soft prerequisites.
2. The Dom must have the Mastery to Contain their submissive, as well as the Mastery to handle their submissive’s Eros, 
3. Under the Dom’s leadership, their submissive’s life and eros should thrive more fully than it would without the Dom’s leadership.

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/dscouples

www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

Lauren and I are prepping for our upcoming training for women : EROS IN HER HANDS.  This training is as much for female practitioners who want to raise their skill levels in handling the bodies of other women.

Even more than that, this training is an invitation to ALL women to come into this immersive container for a week to create more erotic flow in their systems — and as a result to widen their Erotic Receptivity channels.

Doing a training that expands one’s Eros is amazing enough, but we believe that opening the aperture on one’s Erotic Receptivity also has deep impact on one’s receptivity in other areas of life, including in one’s partnerships.

Lauren and I discuss some of these topics in this video.

We hope many of you will join us in this amazing training in a month, in Cyprus!

Please reach out to us if you have any questions.

Course Page : https://omrupani.org/eros-in-her-hands

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Lauren and I talk about our expanded Courtesan Mastery Training, and our upcoming Dominatrix Training, Level I in Tulum, December 8-14.

CONVERSATION TOPICS:

• Expanding from Dominatrix Training towards a fuller COURTESAN MASTERY curriculum.
• Dark Eros is one aspect of a Courtesan’s mastery.
• The Courtesan Archetype is one of the most ancient and elegant feminine archetypes through history.
• The Courtesan as Muse, as Consort, as Influencer.
• Self-activation is a necessary cornerstone for a Courtesan’s embodiment of her mastery.
• How much Permission we have for pleasure is a big determinant regarding how much pleasure we feel or allow ourselves to feel.
• Skills in Somatic Mastery are going to be in high demand through the AI job demolishment apocalypse of the next 5  - 10 years.
• Testimonials from Priestess graduates.
• Erotic expansion as an aspect of Spiritual growth.
• People often let their Dom see them more deeply than they allow their therapist to see them.
• The Dom holds space for whatever comes out of a submissive during a scene.

Please reach out if you have any questions.  Lauren and I are happy to get on a zoom call to answer your questions and concerns.

COURTESAN MASTERY CURRICULUM : https://omrupani.org/#/modern-priestess-of-eros/

PRIESTESS OF DARK EROS, LEVEL I : https://omrupani.org/the-priestess-of-dark-eros

EROS IN HER HANDS : https://omrupani.org/eros-in-her-hands

www.OmRupani.org

TOPICS:

• What can men get out of BDSM training?
• Holding FRAME vs. Giving CONTAINMENT.
• Leadership is needed to be a good Dom, to hold a scene from beginning to end.
• A man needs to be self-contained first if he is going to contain anyone else.
• It takes a while for men to come into their own.  It makes sense that women pair with men older than themselves.
• First contain your woman, then see what problems still exist in your dynamic.
• Women are getting sick of weak men, en masse.
• There is a difference between showing a woman your heart and asking her to contain you.
• Arousal lives on the other side of Containment.
• Understanding archetypes and their necessity.
• The Dom & sub archetypes hold the erotic reservoir; the husband & wife archetypes do not hold eros.
• Role Play is a gateway to switching over from domestic archetypes.
• Human beings seem experts today in screwing up great Loverships.
• Mastery as a genuine source of self-esteem.
• Contribution as a genuine source of self-esteem.
• The man who finds himself right is very attractive.
• It’s good for men to fail early and often.
• Leadership mastery translates to different domains — from erotic to professional.
• Leaders promise a brighter future.

— Om Rupani 

BALI COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-course

www.OmRupani.org

Lauren and I have designed our COURTESAN MASTERY CURRICULUM to be a robust enough training to create superlative practitioners.  But this is also a training that can be tremendously valuable to women simply for their own activation and expansion.  A good 30%-40% of women who have done our training have done it simply for their own benefit.

In this conversation, we focus on these personal aspects that each of our course modules can serve for women.

COURTESAN MASTERY CURRICULUM : https://omrupani.org/#/modern-priestess-of-eros/

—  Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Lauren and I discuss how mastering the Dominant and Submissive archetypes can have applications in other areas of our life.

COURTESAN MASTERY CURRICULUM : https://omrupani.org/#/modern-priestess-of-eros/

www.OmRupani.org

Courtesan Mastery Curriculum : https://omrupani.org/#/modern-priestess-of-eros/

www.OmRupani.org

TOPICS:

What it means to be a dangerous man?

To be loyal, a man needs to be dangerous.

Who were the mothers of feminism?

Men need to build before pursuing women.

Men need a hierarchy to climb.

Men want to be of use to others.

Women don’t want to lead their men.

Women are in shadow about their desire for submission.

It’s difficult for women to create what they are in shadow about.

Dominance is about leadership.

Don’t try to lead people who don’t want to follow you.

Men need to build their life before chasing women.

Men should fall in love with women before falling in love with a particular woman.

I don’t hate women; feminism hates women.

Women are the biggest cock-blockers of other women’s eros.

Have the mindset of incremental change in your eros and relationships.

Men need an appetite for hearing the bad news in their life.

A man in denial is not a good look.

You cannot lead if you live in denial.

Failure and getting off the dirt is how men are forged.

Men should be reality-testing other men.

Women’s unconditional eros is indeed magnificent; and it is so big that it scares even women.

Women’s eros stops following rules after a certain point.

Focus on what you have to offer the other — men to women; women to men.

Acquire more mastery so you have more to contribute to others.

Give to the right people, and then look for reciprocity.

UPCOMING WORKSHOPS : https://omrupani.org/workshops-test/

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Lauren are I are thrilled to be launching the next cohort and version of our very successful Priestess of Dark Eros — a premier BDSM training for women — for women who want to be practitioners, as well those who simply want to have this expansion for their personal growth.

For those of you who do want to bring the BDSM arts into your mastery as practitioners, let us just say that our graduates are doing quite well and lucratively with our training.  And, we believe that in the coming few years, the need, desire and demand for somatic practitioners is going to skyrocket, while so many other lines of work become obsolete by the coming onslaught of technology.

Our Level I of Dark Priestess launches in Tulum in December, 8-14.  Please reach out if you have any questions.  Lauren and I are happy to get on a zoom call with you to answer any questions.

Hope to see you in Tulum.

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/the-priestess-of-dark-eros

Warmly,

Om

www.OmRupani.org

Timestamps : 

02:53        Why Relationships Thrive With Good Sex 

05:54        How Containment Unlocks A Woman’s Femininity 

09:03        Why Women Feel Attracted To A Man Who Leads Her

11:56        What You Can Do To Improve Your Sexual Mastery 

15:01        How Men & Women Can Build Genuine Esteem 

21:02        The Trait That Helps Men Get Good Fast 

38:07        Why Misrepresenting Yourself Is A Bad Deal 

41:58        What Is A Permission Field

49:10        Exploring Edgy Topics: Cuckolding and Open Relationships

56:06        Navigating Eros in Long-Term Relationships

01:01:09   The Alchemy of Desire

01:05:35   The Science of Desire and Functionality

01:12:37   The Importance of Discovery in Relationships

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-course

Please reach out if you have any questions.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Lauren and I are very excited to have expanded our very successful THE MODERN PRIESTESS OF EROS into a wider COURTESAN MASTERY CURRICULUM.

This new curriculum contains 6 Modules.  Each Module will be taught as an independent week-long retreat.

Here’s more information about the curriculum : https://omrupani.org/#/modern-priestess-of-eros/

Please reach out if you have any questions.

Om

www.OmRupani.org

1.  WHAT IS CONTAINMENT?

2.  CHALLENGES OF EROS BETWEEN HUSBANDS AND WIVES

3.  SELF-INTERESTED REASONS FOR DOING HIERARCHY

4.  BDSM PLAY THROUGH THE CHAKRAS

5.  WOMEN’S HESITATION IN EXPLORING THIS MATERIAL

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-course

www.OmRupani.org

Many men out there follow my writings and podcasts.  They write to me expressing that they are benefiting from my material.  They express desire to deepen their mastery and to learn more and go deeper.  When it comes time to show up for a workshop I’m offering, many of those same men hesitate, stall and disappear.

I can be pretty hard on men when I coach them.  My first inclination tends to be to yell at them for not following through.  But this phenomena of not showing up has been going on for so long that I’ve had the opportunity to talk to many of the men and gain some understanding of what is happening for them underneath the surface.  The more I see and understand, the more I sympathize.

What keeps men from showing up to be trained in sensuality in a class alongside women is FEAR.  It not just one fear, it is a stack of fears.  It is a layer-cake of fears.

And these fears the men are facing are nothing to scoff at.  This is tender stuff.  I will list three main categories of their fears:

1. They fear getting a report card from women that they, the men, have always been mediocre lovers.

2.  They fear getting a direct and live confirmation from women in front of others that the women don’t prefer this particular man.  That the women prefer other men over him.

3.  They fear being publicly humiliated by being publicly evaluated as sexually incompetent and undesirable.

This is a pretty scary list!  I feel like hiding under the covers when I read.

I can’t completely assuage these fears for men.  I know they are real and they are brutal.  

What I can try to do is express some counterpoints to these concerns in this video.  I have the follow 3 counter propositions for you:

1.  LET WOMEN INITIATE YOU!

2.  ENTER THIS HUMILIATION SCENE VOLUNTARILY!

3.  KNOW THAT ANY FAILURE IS NOT FINAL!

Hope to see some of you in class.

Next Course : Austria, August 5-11.

Course Page : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-course

www.OmRupani.org

I see the men and women who come to my training benefiting slightly different from what I offer.  I wanted to make two videos sharing what benefits I see my students gaining.  Men’s video to follow soon.

1.RECEIVE GOOD CONTAINMENT

2.GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR LITTLE GIRL

3.YOU WILL KNOW HOW TO VET A DOM GOING FORWARD 

Or truly, how to vet any man you are considering of taking as a lover or a partner.

— —

AUSTRIA - August 5-11; 2025

Course Page : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-course

DOMINICAN REPUBLIC - February 8-14; 2026

Course Page : https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsm

——

Both retreats are $3200 per student.  Room & Board included in course fee.

www.OmRupani.org

I believe women have at least two distinct modalities of turn-on or arousal.  I believe there is a particular ‘frequency’ of women’s arousal that is their fucking energy — where they want to be penetrated.

Men’s erections occur in response to this energy.

If this observation is correct, the implications that come out of it are many.

This is a starting conversation on this topic and on this premise.  Others to follow soon.

— Om Rupani

Course Mentioned In Video : https://omrupani.org/eros-in-her-hands

www.OmRupani.org

-  Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

1.  NEGATIVE PEOPLE ACTUALLY DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO RELATIONSHIPS.

A successful relationship is two are more people coming into agreement.

Chronically unhappy people tend to be out of agreement with life itself.

They are ungracious.

They are ungrateful.

They have no appreciation for the good that is around them.

Such a person has true inclination to be gracious towards other humans, to be thankful for the good that others bring into their life.  

If a person seem determined to not come into agreement with you or with life, you will not have a successful connection with them.

2.  NEGATIVE PEOPLE ARE DREAM KILLERS

To be negative is to be negative about the future.

I would in fact define whether a person is officially negative or not by this particular metric : WHAT’S THEIR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE FUTURE — THIER OWN FUTURE AND THE WORLD’S FUTURE?

If a person is future-forward, they are not negative.

Those who are negative people by this definition — don’t ever share your future plans with these people.  They will do their utmost to snuff your flame.

3.  YOU WILL FAIL AS A ROMANTIC PARTNER WITH THEM.

This particular point applies even more to men than women.  We all have the desire to please our partner, but men feel this metric at an even deeper level.  When our woman is happy, we feel like kings.  When she is unhappy, it lands in us as failure.

Pick a woman who is chronically unhappy, and you set yourself to being and feeling like a chronic failure.

4.  THEIR NEGATIVITY IS OFTEN MALEVOLENT

Maybe there is a small number of negative and pessimistic people who just live their sully ives in the corner, but most people who are future-negative are deeply envious of others who are optimistic, future-forward, creative, endeavoring, taking chances, succeeding.

Be double careful of inviting such malevolent energy into your creation and production circle.  They are saboteurs.

5.  AS YOUR PARTNER, THE NEGATIVE PERSON IS ROOTING FOR YOUR FAILURE

A truly negative person cannot tolerate progress and success anywhere.  They won’t make an exception for you even if you are married to them.

The very core purpose of a good relationship ought to be that the two people are rooting for each other.  You are a stand for each other.  You want the other to succeed and thrive.  If you can’t say this about yourself, you suck as a partner and your other will suffer because of it, and vice versa.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

1.  Those who believe that their full SOUL EXPRESSION can only occur independent of any   man, independent or any relationship with a man, independent of any marriage with a man.  

That taking her full soul journey as a woman is a solo path, independent of men and relationships with men, and that men and relationships with men are distractions, detours and obstacles to that true SOUL journey of hers.

2.  Women who believe their SOUL JOURNEY can only be completed through the archetypes of wife and mother.  

That only in a deep partnership with a man, only in a deep marriage with a man, in going through all the ups and downs that a marriage entails, in upholding and living out all the marriage vows of sickness and in health, for richer or poor, that only in that life-long journey can she realize and make her SOUL JOURNEY.

My prompt to women is that they examine their belief system and see what programming they are carrying in their system.  Be true to the belief you are carrying.  

If you are in the first category, please stop trying to pair bond with men, please stop seeking long-term partnerships with men; please don’t even cohabitate with a man, and most certainly, please don’t get married.  It wont’ work out for you.  You yourself will sabotage your relationships, because your core belief is not in agreement with long-term bonding with a man.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Timestamps:

[00:00] Introduction

[03:05] How BDSM intersects with trauma, pleasure, and healing

[05:12] Understanding the father-daughter dynamic in relationships

[06:08] How childhood experiences shape adult desires

[07:20] Why reenacting childhood wounds can be healing

[08:14] Common father-daughter wounds and their emotional impact

[09:05] Revisiting painful childhood memories in a controlled way

[10:18] How a dom can rewrite past trauma

[11:10] Why people internalize childhood neglect as self-blame

[12:02] How reenacting childhood wounds can change self-perception

[13:15] The role of theater and psychodrama in BDSM

[14:09] How women can relive and heal rejection from their fathers

[15:30] Why BDSM scene design is structured like a play

[16:22] Examples of how childhood wounds show up in adult relationships

[19:02] The impact of revisiting parental rejection in scene play

[20:10] The emotional release that comes from reenacting past pain

[21:04] The psychological effects of feeling preferred or not preferred

[22:15] The deep-rooted nature of childhood wounds in adult life

[23:09] How re-experiencing childhood emotions can reframe memories

[24:03] The importance of acknowledging that parents are human

[25:12] Using BDSM to address self-worth issues rooted in childhood

[26:08] Why people carry childhood pain into adulthood

[27:00] The difference between memory, narrative, and reality

[28:15] The role of the dom in guiding emotional catharsis

[29:05] How the body holds onto past trauma

[30:10] The connection between physical sensations and emotional healing

[31:12] How BDSM can address and release stored trauma

[32:20] The impact of feeling powerless as a child

[33:08] How physical expression can help process past pain

[34:04] Why talk therapy alone cannot resolve deep trauma

[35:10] Jealousy as a common relationship challenge

[36:02] How BDSM can be used to work through jealousy

[38:00] How playing out jealousy can lessen its intensity

[41:08] Why understanding your fears can give you more agency

[42:04] How women can shift their perspective on their partner’s attraction to others

[45:02] How body shame impacts relationships and intimacy

[46:10] How BDSM can help heal body insecurities

[47:15] Why body shaming is common in BDSM play

[48:02] How men and women experience different types of body shame

[49:08] The role of worship and cherishment in healing body shame

[50:05] Why aftercare is essential in BDSM scenes

[51:10] How physical play can anchor emotional healing

[52:02] Why BDSM is not just for “kinky” people

[53:08] How scene play can be an effective tool for personal growth

[54:12] Why BDSM should not be stigmatized in therapeutic settings

[55:05] How this approach can complement traditional therapy

[56:02] The importance of embracing taboo topics for healing

Learn more about Om Rupani’s School for Dominance & Submission on his website, YouTube channel and Instagram.

Listen to the Om Rupani Podcast on Spotify or Apple

Instagram: @kellybroganmd

Website: kellybroganmd.com

www.OmRupani.org

Lauren and I giving some tough love to you women who are on the fence about answering your call.  We wholeheartedly urge you to take courage and step towards the bit of uncertainty that might be the start of an adventure.

With love.

Om & Lauren.

Priestess Training : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

www.OmRupani.org

TOPICS:

I feel for you people who binge watch my material.

Containment for a birth doula.  Containment in birth space.

The energetics of Containment.

Containment in Man-Woman dynamic.

Men’s initiations, or lack there of, these days.

Where the men drop contentment and boundaries, women step in to pick up the slack.

You will never get the best out of a woman who is chronically uncontained.

What women look like after a good scene.

The downward spiral of distrust that results in long-term frustrations.

Reversing the downward spirals.

Men want to be found right.

Discerning non-consensual Domination & submission from the consensual.

Using scene-play for release and catharsis.

Flipping trauma for Eros.

The coolness of the Dom energy.

Balancing energies between Dom & sub.

Archetypical mismatch when both woman and men are submissives.

Women being more yes to their submission than men are to their Domination.

A functional dom-sub dynamic is a co-conspiracy.

www.OmRupani.org

Hello Everyone.  Lauren and I are pivoting our next Priestess Training from Vienna back to Jersey City, NJ.

We are doing so in response to the needs and desires of our students.  Many more students are a yes to doing it here right now than traveling to Europe for it.

Please look at the course page if you are interested : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

Please reach out if you have any questions.  Lauren and I are happy to get on a zoom call with you to answer your questions.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Many couples who have switched from an egalitarian model of relating towards a more polarized form of relating are still feeling quite exhausted.  The sweet rewards of ease and greater functionality that polarity relating has promised them still seem elusive in their dynamic.  The women are still feeing over-stretch and tired.  The men are not quite feeling like they have arrived in their element in leading in their relationship.

When I’m coaching couples and listening to their conflicts and complaints, I am often able to spot a handful of glitches in their dynamic.  It’s almost as if their habits and ways of doing things need to be ‘debugged’ like in a computer program.  I thought I’d make a series of videos addressing these glitches.

This video deals with one of the most common shadow pieces I see — where the woman thinks or acts like she is really in favor of her man leading, but in fact she is stuck in the shadow energy of ‘letting him lead’,  or ‘allowing him to lead’.  

There is a world of difference between trusting and following your man and this underhanded energy of ‘letting him lead’.

There are many beliefs and energies that can live behind this phenomenon of ‘letting your man lead’ instead of whole-heartedly wanting his leadership.  Here are 2 of them:

1. You simply don’t know how to turn off your controlling mechanism.  Behind this drive to control is a deep distrust — perhaps of everyone, but more likely a distrust towards men and the masculine.
2. You feel following your man makes you inferior to him.  So you are holding your surrender in reserve, because you don’t want to render yourself weaker and inferior to him according to your beliefs.  Constantly checking your man, on the other hand, implies you are more competent than him and thus superior to him.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

It’s a common inquiry among women considering this training about balancing their work life with their desires for personal partnerships.  Lauren and I discuss this topic in this video.

COURSE INFORMATION : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-course

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

TOPICS:

Challenges of Eros in long-term relationships.

The correct purpose of a long-term partnership.

Dropping birth rates.

Adversity as the source of meaning.

Accumulating experiences of betrayal in hook-up culture.

The chronic dissatisfaction of the modern woman.

Men want to make women happy; modern woman has vowed to not be happy.

For most women, submission is weakness.

Women’s submissions as men’s reward and fuel.

Ownership in relationships.

It’s not a man’s job to bring a woman into submission.

Attitude towards naysayers.

Women’s fantasies.

BDSM in long-term relationships.

Your Permission Field in a relationship.

Men’s path to dominance.

Real sexual mastery.

Casual sex vs. partnership.

Women’s sex and self-worth.

Women can’t submit to a man they don’t respect.

Money beliefs in family lineage.

Healthy dynamic between mother and son.

Masculinity in media.

Feminism’s efficiency in destroying man-woman relationships.

Relationship mastery as prerequisite to sexual connection.

Too many men these days are boring.

-- Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

The next run of the Priestess Training will be in Vienna.

All the course details are at : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

Please reach out if you have any questions.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

A broad conversation on my favorite topics of BDSM, Masculinity and Man-Woman Relating in today's culture.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

My personal relationship philosophy is no more complex than the above statement.  Give your partner want your partner wants.  Contribute to them.  Make their life easier.  Make their life better.  Contribute to their expansion.  

Two people doing that for each other — that’s the golden state.  That’s heaven on earth as far as human relating is concerned.

Do whatever works.  

I personally have no particular philosophy or ideology on HOW A WOMAN SHOULD BE, or HOW A MAN SHOULD BE.

Be however you want.  You are a free and sovereign soul.  Do your thing.  Express yourself as you please.  Your life is yours to live.

But, if you want to play the man-woman game, or any relational game, then who you are, how you are, what you do, how you do it - all of that goes into whether you will succeed or fail at being able to give your partner what your partner needs, desires and wants from you.

Everything I teach and talk about is constructed on this metric.  My personal approach to creating successful man-woman relating is trying to find as many big pieces that are valid generalizations as to what men want from women and what women want from men.  I personally have no other measuring stick, no authority, no higher source regarding men & women.  What works?  What works most of the time?  Let’s try that.

What generalizations are consistent regarding what women want from men?

What generalizations are consistent regarding what men want from women?

Let’s follow those.  Let’s build on that data.  It’s a pretty reasonable approach.

What makes this simple approach a bit more complicated to implement, is that human beings are not obvious creatures.  Our needs and desires are not always plain to see and understand.  Many times, men and women themselves don’t have clear understanding of their true needs and desires.  This is where a little digging is needed.  This is where insight into our nature is needed.

These insights often ruffle feathers among people when they go against people’s self-concepts of what it means to be a good man or woman.  But arguing with the insight, or the insight-bringer, is not really necessary.  You be the judge of what is working in your relationships.  If you and your partner are mutually happy and thriving, ignore everyone blabbering their relationship advice.  What do you care?  You are already succeeding at your relationships.  You are happy and thriving.  Keep doing what you are doing.

If what you have been doing has not been working and creating great results in your relationships, then it might be worthwhile to consider that some new data and action might be needed for you to create the needed success.  Try something new if you want, or don’t.  All up to you.

— Om Rupani

https://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-course

www.OmRupani.org

Owning a human being is a concept that is a bit out of date by normal standards.

As with all things in the BDSM realm, distinctions need to be made between the CONSENSUAL and the NON-CONSENSUAL.

Consensual Ownership might be an energy that is direly needed in our culture today.

My offer is that ownership is at the heart of what makes all relationships work.  This certainly applies to romantic relationships, whether they be kinky or not.  Beyond that, it even applies to familial relationships and even work relationships. 

Our life energy flow into that which we own.  When we own the people we care for, we nurture them, and as a result, those relationships flourish.

When we withdraw our ownerships energies from a relationship, that relationship begins to wither and deteriorate.

It could even be said that the bulk of the lies we perpetrate in relationships are lies about how much we truly own someone.

— Om Rupani.

www.OmRupani.org

I’m very excited to be announcing a new Intensive BDSM Retreat that I will be offering, starting in February 2025.  

The workshop is titled BDSM PRINCIPLES & DOM-SUB EXPLORATION.  Over the course of 7days / 6 nights, we will take a deeper dive into the various possible in this realm.

Please explore the course page for full details : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-course

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Janelle came into the Priestess Training with little to no knowledge about BDSM, and with very little connection to her own Dominant or submissive archetypes.

It’s been fun to watch her journey and to see her come into her own.  These days she considers herself a rather effective advocate for the possibilities that this realm has to offer everyone, including the women she works with as well as couples.

We chat about her arc and how she sees herself differently after her own journey and what she feels she is now contributing to others.

You can learn more about her here : https://www.feelwildlyalive.com/

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Not all women.  

But the women who have the desire for being in a hierarchical relationship should understand this point : One of the functions and responsibilities of the person higher in the hierarchy is to keep the people lower in the hierarchy in check.

This is a point that even the people who are actively pursuing polarized dynamics are grasping are often failing to grasp.

I see a lot of women who are ready to be with men who are strong and dominant and grounded and making something of themselves in the world.  The women do want their men to ‘take the lead’.  But when it comes to decision-making and directing action, the women are firmly planted in the feminist egalitarian model that all important decisions should be made by democratic vote, and everybody’s thoughts and feelings should be taken under consideration.  All of a sudden, the Dom-sub dynamic collapses into an Occupy Wall Street meeting full of gentle and considerate hand signals.

There is no advocacy here on my part.  I am not saying women should take directions from men.  I most certainly am not saying that all the men of the world should keep all the women of the world in check.  There is no ideology here.  

What I do want to point out is a cornerstone of hierarchical dynamic that is in the blindspot of many people who are wondering why their dynamic still feels like more work than enjoyment.  

If you want a hierarchical dynamic, find a man whose decision making, clarity and judgement you trust and respect above your own.  I grant you, finding this man is not easy.  But these are the basic requirements of functional hierarchy — find someone better than yourself to follow.  And then follow them.

Following them means you don’t direct their actions.

Following them means they can direct your actions.

Following him means he gets to veto your decisions.

Following him means, when there is a difference in opinion between you and him, his decision is the final one.

He needs to be a man who can hold that position of leadership with ethos, a big heart and desire for a win-win outcome.

Find that man.  Then, follow him.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Men need to be needed.  

Men want to be useful.

Men’s esteem is intricately connected to them making themselves into the kind of men who are useful to the people around them.  All people — your family, your friends, your bosses and employees, your parents, your brothers, your children, and also your woman.

This need is not some kind of a weakness.  It is sane and healthy interdependence.  It means you belong to your tribe.  You belong to your family.  You belong to your loved ones.

Your use to others is how you bond with others.

If you disconnect from this good and healthy need, you will create failure in your life in a multitude of directions:

You will make yourself into the kind of man who is useless to anyone and everyone around you.

This will make you into a loner.  Men will not feel much pull to have you as a friend.  

Women, most certainly will not be attracted to you.  

Nor will you be productive or generative in society.  

Nor will you be able to generate value and money and wealth.

The healthy esteem of a man is contextual.  We build our value in the context of how we are connecting and what we are providing to the people in our tribe.

— — — 

Your connection with your woman is no exception to this.  In fact, a thriving connection to your woman ought to be the centerpiece of your usefulness, your competence and your contribution.

Your woman should pick you because you are tremendously useful to her.

She should pick you because her life is better with you than without you.

She should pick you because you are able to bring riches into her life that she cannot bring into her own life.

If all that is in place, she will look up to you if she is a gracious and balanced woman.  She will acknowledge the contribution you are making to her life.  She will acknowledge how valuable you are to her.  This acknowledgment is an integral part of her respect for you.

You should earn this respect.  You should aim to inspire this respect in her.

If you are failing to inspire this respect in a particular woman, proceed no further with her.

If you are failing to inspire this respect in all women, you need to look at your own life and do better.  Build a fuller and richer life to invite a woman into.  Make yourself more useful to others, including women.

If you are proud of who you are and the life you are leading, then, when you are with a particular woman who acts as if you are brining nothing special into her life, move on; that’s not your woman.

If you stumble upon a woman who on principle declares, ‘I don’t need no man’, please keep moving.  You don’t need to take offense at her stance.  You don’t need to argue with her.  Please don’t try to change her mind.

Rest in your inner wisdom and self-knowledge that you need to be with a woman who needs you, who admires you for what you bring to her, because she can’t bring those aspects to her own life.  You need to be with a woman who respects you for your strengths, abilities and your contributions to her life.

Any and all women who fall out of this important parameter, please move away from those women.  Don’t try to partner with them.  Even if they are making advances for partnership towards you while in this attitude, do not start a relationship with them.

The vast majority of women in the world today are stuck in their GIRLFRIEND archetype and in their MODERN WOMAN archetype.  Both of these energetic configurations are shadowy energies tha

www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

Kelly discusses her new book, The Reclaimed Woman which unpacks bitterness and resentment of the modern day woman through rich narratives and thoughtful critiques. It challenges conventional notions of feminism, exploring how societal influences and expectations shape personal identity and relational dynamics. 

She exposes layers of societal conditioning, revealing the struggles women face in reclaiming their autonomy and voice, inviting a reevaluation of what it means to be empowered, urging a return to authenticity and an embrace of the unique power inherent in the feminine. 

This work promises to spark thoughtful discussions on the nature of personal growth, the impact of societal narratives on identity, and opportunity we have to heal the root cause of pain, fear, shame, and suffering for women.

KellyBroganMD.com

www.OmRupani.org

Conversation with Geraecka Lyonns about:

The cathartic possibilities in BDSM play.

Architecting humiliation play.

Releasing shame and guilt through punishment scenes.

Pain as a pathway towards rebalancing the psyche.

Why powerful men seek out takedown scenes.  

The importance of Containment.

The freedom to explore inside of Containment.

The breakdown of Containment in man-woman relating.

The fatigue in the modern women due to lack of Containment.

The difficulty in the modern woman embodying her sensuality while she is un-contained.

Men building their Containment through facing challenges and doing hard work.

The drawback in men outsourcing their warrior energy.

Reversing self-absorption to build Containment and reduce anxiety.

Containment as prerequisite for healing in any modality.

D/s dynamic as a superb invitation for exploring polarity.

****************

GERAECKA’S INFO : https://www.themarscontract.com/

****************

OM’S UPCOMING BDSM TRAININGS:

PRIESTESS TRAINING - JERSEY CITY; JUNE 22 : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

TANTRA MEETS BDSM - AUSTRIA; AUGUST 16 : https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsm

BDSM FUNDAMENTALS & SCENE PLAY TRAINING : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-training

www.OmRupani.org

In this conversation, Daniel and Om Rupani discuss the concept of masculinity and the importance of men finding their edge. 

They address the false equivalencies and stereotypes surrounding masculinity, such as the idea that being in authority is toxic. 

They also explore the impact of internalized misandry on men and the need for men to step into their power. 

Om emphasizes the importance of men leading in their relationships and the benefits of men finding their authority in all aspects of life. 

They discuss the role of competence-based hierarchies and the importance of men being focused and engaged in their lives. 

The conversation explores the concept of authority and its importance in personal growth and spirituality. It emphasizes the need for individuals to establish and enforce their boundaries as a form of personal authority. T

he conversation also touches on the challenges of modern relationships and the importance of clarity and agreement in man-woman dynamics. 

It highlights the detrimental effects of disrespect in relationships and the need for both men and women to address their internal conflicts and work towards mutual respect.

COURSE PAGE FOR ‘REGAINING OUR EDGE AS MEN’ : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

www.OmRupani.org

Leah and I discuss the possibilities in both the tantric and BDSM traditions.  We will be teaching a new course titled : MAKING SEX DIRTY AGAIN, that will offer the participants an exploration into both the YES as well as the NO elements in our Eros.

Friday before the weekend course, I will be doing a BDSM demo and Q&A.

Demo Page : https://omrupani.org/courses/om-rupani-talk-on-bdsm-principles-domsub-energetics-live-demo

Course Page : https://omrupani.org/dirty

********************************************************

Leah’s Links:

Leah Piper

More Love Works

www.moreloveworks.com

www.sexreimagined.com

support@moreloveworks.com

www.OmRupani.org

The next run of Priestess Training starts on June 22.

Several of our graduates share here about their experience with the course.

If you are thinking of joining, please reach out with any questions.

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Long-term couples are often struggling with recapturing the spark they felt with each other during the beginning of their connections.

Regular therapists offer their own solutions to what a couple might try to find their way out of the doldrums of an ongoing dynamic that may be prone to falling into domesticity rather than romance and passion.

BDSM has it’s own flavor of advice and wisdom:  

END YOUR SCENES!  

RITUALIZE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

********************************

Make your life into distinct scenes.

Close each scene.  

Make your scene interesting enough that you feel full at the end.

Know how to end on a peak.

A good scene is a full meal of relating.

When you talk to most couple, they may be spending hours each day together and yet it does not seem that they have had a full meal of relationship in a long time.

Scenes create intensity.

It’s satisfying to close scenes and cycles.

Satisfaction is experienced at the end of a cycle.  If you don’t end cycles, you may miss out on satisfaction.

We need distinct events in our relating.

We need punctuation marks in our relating.  Close sentences and paragraphs and chapters in your relating; then start new ones.  You need a change of costume.  You need a change of location.

How can long term couples end their scenes?

Create separation.  Set up a lifestyle with punctation marks instead of run-on sentences.  

Don’t try to ruin the separation.  Use life to create separation.  Create distance.  Enjoy distance.  Give each other separation.  

Stop being husband and wife for a while, and then pick it up again.  

Have a morning scene.  Have an evening scene.

Your time together should be a segment.

Make occasion of occasions.

Switch archetypes from scene to scene.

Separate scene from scene.

If you are going out to dinner, don’t have domestic conversation on the way to dinner or at dinner or after dinner.  Set up a domestic scene instead.  

Dress up for each scene.

If all this sounds extravagant, it’s your choice how deliberately you want to live your life.

More interesting is available in our living, but it does require more deliberate effort and creation.

End your scenes.  Divide your life into scenes.  In between the scenes let there be clean separation.

Let the man go do his Saturday scene.  Let the woman have her Saturday scene.  Give each other scenes separate from each other.

— Om Rupani

********************************

UPCOMING BDSM TRAININGS:

DEMO + Q&A - SACRAMENTO; MAY 10 : https://omrupani.org/courses/om-rupani-talk-on-bdsm-principles-domsub-energetics-live-demo

MAKING SEX DIRTY AGAIN - SACRAMENTO; MAY 11, 12 : https://omrupani.org/dirty

PRIESTESS TRAINING - JERSEY CITY; JUNE 22 : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

TANTRA MEETS BDSM - AUSTRIA; AUGUST 16 : https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsm

BDSM FUNDAMENTALS & SCENE PLAY TRAINING : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-training

www.OmRupani.org

***************

UPCOMING COURSE FOR MEN —-

DISMANTLING THE NICE GUY IDENTITY : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

REGAINING OUR EDGE AS MEN : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

CREATING THE DOMINANT MAN : https://omrupani.org/creating-the-dominant-man

www.OmRupani.org

*(This is part of the module from the upcoming course DISMANTLING THE NICE GUY IDENTITY)

Nice guys aren’t all that nice, it turns out.

Nice guys are often holding in a lot of anger.  Sometimes the quantity of this anger can easily qualify as rage.

Nice guys are often quite jealous and envious of other men and often act in underhanded way to hurt or sabotage men they are envious off.

Nice guys often are full of resentment.

Nice guys tend to be two-faced, and can thus come across as creepy.  People perceive something incoherent in their niceness.  People don’t entirely buy the nice guy’s niceness, causing them distrust the nice guy.

Nice guys are often passive aggressive and hurtful in other ways.

Nice guys are quite judgmental of others — both men and women.  They are judgmental of men who seem to be having success in life and with women in spite of not being nice.  And they are judgmental of women who don’t seem to appreciate their niceness and/or reciprocate their niceness with desire.

********************

UPCOMING COURSE FOR MEN —-

DISMANTLING THE NICE GUY IDENTITY : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

REGAINING OUR EDGE AS MEN : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

CREATING THE DOMINANT MAN : https://omrupani.org/creating-the-dominant-man

www.OmRupani.org

I’m very excited to be collaborating with Leah Piper for a new course that will allow the participants to investigate the darker, more troublesome and ‘NO’ element of their Eros.

We are going to use the BDSM framework of scene play and Dom-sub dynamic to take the participants through a series of investigations into various ‘NO’ aspects, so they may discover where there might be a zone of eros hiding for them.

Within the structured container of a scene and with plenty of Containment from their parters, people may choose to go into these ‘zones of aversion’ to make their discoveries and perhaps encounter new turn-ons for themselves.

Full Course Description : https://om-rupani.squarespace.com/config/website/pages

This course will in Leah’s home in Carmichale, CA on May 11th and 12th.  Capacity is limited.

*****************

On the evening of May 10th, I will be doing a BDSM demo and talking about the foundational principles and energetics of the Dom-sub connection.

More Details : https://omrupani.org/courses/om-rupani-talk-on-bdsm-principles-domsub-energetics-live-demo

Hope to see some of you there.

Please reach out if you have any questions.

Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

A conversation about modern masculinity and the Nice Guy scenario that seems so wide-spread in our culture today.

I have 2 upcoming courses for men to address these issues:

1. DISMANTLING THE NICE GUY IDENTITY 

2.  REGAINING OUR EDGE AS MEN

COURSE INFO : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Lauren and I discuss some of the aspects of this in-depth training and take questions from women considering joining us for the next run, which starts in June.

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

Please reach out to us with any questions : OmRupani@me.com

Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

This is the most advanced and in-depth BDSM training I offer for people who want to deepen this exploration for themselves and bring it to others for whom they want to hold space.

Lauren and I will be launching the third run of this course in June.

We talk a little bit about what we have seen our students get out of this journey.

We will be doing a Q&A for people who are curious about joining us for this on Wednesday, 3/27/24.

Link for signing up for the Q&A : https://programs.laurenharkness.com/MPOEQnA24?r_done=1

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

If you have any questions, please reach out to us.  We are happy to answer any questions.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

I’ll be doing a Demo and Q&A on BDSM this Friday 3/22/24.

REGISTRATION PAGE : https://www.eventbrite.com/e/om-rupani-talk-on-bdsm-principles-domsub-energetics-live-demo-tickets-800464820827?aff=erelexpmlt

*********************

Next weekend, will be teaching a class in Man-Woman relating.  3/23 - 3/24.

REGISTRATION PAGE : https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-masterfully-submissive-woman-the-dominant-man-2-day-immersion-tickets-800034955087?aff=erelexpmlt

*********************

My dear friend Michaela is hosting me and the classes in Boulder.  We talk here about what students can expect.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Another lively conversation with these two delightful, amazing women.  We talk about many things having to do with modern man-woman relating and eros.

Our conversation around Men’s Hearts and the modern woman’s attitudes towards men’s hearts gets a bit heated and convoluted here.  I think we end up talking past each other at times.  Who knew the issue of Men’s Hearts might end up being the more controversial and triggering topic.  Apparently there is a lot more here to parse out.  Topic for another podcast.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

I will be doing a talk on BDSM principles along with a live demo in Boulder on Friday, March 22, 2024.

Following that, I will be teaching a weekend class there in Man-Woman relating.

My dear friend Micaela is hosting these events in Boulder.  She and I discuss here the topics that will be covered during these two events and all related matters.

— Om Rupani

BDSM demo and discussion:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/om-rupani-talk-on-bdsm-principles-domsub-energetics-live-demo-tickets-800464820827?aff=erelexpmlt

Weekend Class:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/om-rupani-2-day-weekend-deep-dive-on-manwoman-relating-tickets-800034955087?aff=erelexpmlt

www.OmRupani.org

The idea that certain energies and activities are masculine or feminine, and therefore when a woman is engaged in those ‘masculine’ energies, she is in her ‘inner masculine’, or when a man is engaged in the ‘feminine’ energies, he’s in his ‘inner feminine’ is not a useful formulation, and it is creating a lot of confusion.

Declare certain actives as masculine or feminine if you like.  Do them as you like, But please drop this notion that inside every woman there is an ‘inner masculine’, and inside ever man there is an ‘inner feminine’.

My primary argument and evidence against this inner masculine and inner feminine is this : If every woman had a true ‘inner masculine’ inside of her, her ‘inner masculine’ would be a true reference point towards what it is actually like to be a man in this world!  

Every woman would then understand what it is to occupy a man’s body, to occupy a man’s psyche and motivational system and drives and desires.  THIS IS NOT THE CASE!  Women have no native/intuitive understanding of what it is to be a man.

Men have no native/intuitive understanding of what it is to be a woman.

Let’s stop pretending that we have some inside track into the other gender’s reality.

We need to acknowledge that we are different from each other, and that in fact we ABSOLUTELY DO NOT UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!  

We need to acknowledge that we don’t have native knowledge of the other sex, so that we can start to look at each other with curiosity and start to humbly learn each other’s natures, so that we may get along better.

This video is from my course for women.  It is from the section on UNDERSTANDING MEN.  One of the big reasons women today are failing in their relationships with men, is because women don’t really understand men.  In order to begin to understand men, women first need to acknowledge that they don’t have some inner masculine through which they have an access point for what it is to be a man in this world.

You can view the video version of this podcast at : https://youtu.be/vSiaOvxjqDM

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

More and more women are writing to me these days, asking how they might step more into their feminine.

I thought about this and wrote about this and have come up with a few suggestions.  Will make a serious of videos on these.

The first suggestion is : Please give up the concept of your inner masculine.

You don’t have an inner masculine.  This idea is a figment, and it is creating a lot of confusion.

Women don’t know men.  Women don’t understand men’s nature.  Women should make more of a real effort to understand men and masculine nature.

If women continue to believe that they have an inner masculine, this really needed journey into understanding men gets forestalled and omitted.  And women’s internal reference point for their femininity gets further muddled.

— OmRupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

Find your Dom right.

Find your Man right.

Find your Leader right.

These can be guiding principles for navigating one’s relationship.  Keep this as the goal — finding your Dom/Man/Leader right.  When you are not finding them right, pause your connection and do whatever is needed to come back to finding them right.

This principle does not imply that all Doms are always right.  Nor does it mean that all Men or all Leaders are always right.  Not at all.  There is no perfection in this world, and certainly there is no perfection in human relating.

One must remember that the optimal state for relationships is when the person in the follower position is finding the person in the lead position right.  Both parties should do their utmost to arrive at and maintain this state of functionality.

One also needs to bring awareness to egoic and zero-sum games we might be playing to habitually and deliberately make our partners wrong.  Such ego and zero-sum games are relationship destroyers.  

We should also be mindful of outside influences that seem more invested in disrupting the agreements and functionality between us and our partners.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

IN-PERSON TRAININGS:

Tantra meets BDSM - 6 Day Retreat in Tulum, Mexico

The Modern Priestess Of Eros - Practitioner Training

ONLINE WORKSHOPS:

What Men Want : A Course For Women

Creating The Dominant Man

BDSM Fundamentals & Scene Play Training

www.OmRupani.org

I will be teaching an afternoon workshop in Boulder on 1/14/24.

Conversing here about BDSM and Man-Woman Relating.  

About men’s fear of actually getting new information and education regarding sexual mastery.

The importance of getting accurate feedback from women in sex and relationships.

The contempt before investigation attitudes towards BDSM in our culture.

Attraction is measurable.  In this class, we will have women evaluate men and give them real data about how attractive women are finding them.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

Boulder Class : https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-masterfully-submissive-woman-the-dominant-man-tickets-775952222987?aff=oddtdtcreator

www.OmRupani.org

Conversing about BDSM, Eros in long-term relationships and other matters.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

The way Laurie and I teach BDSM, we frame different types of BDSM play within how the energies are moving in different Chakras:

Containment and somatic play, like rope bondage, sensation play, pain play, confinement play activate our energies in the 1st Chakra.

All sexual play hits our 2nd Chakra — including arousal, forced orgasm, orgasm control, peaking.

All esteem and psychological play, such as Humiliation Play, Exclusion Play, Degradation Play hits our esteem center in the 3rd Chakra.

Bringing Devotion in the Dom/sub dynamic activates the energies in the 4th Chakra.  And so on.

We are not experts of classical tantra.  We don’t offer any traditional tantric rituals and practices in our class.  But our framework for BDSM energetics very much refers to our energetic body that the tantric framework employs.

To learn more about this, please come take our class:  https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsm

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Containment is a skill very much needed to do BDSM well.  But this is a skill that is needed far and wide in all our relationships.  Certainly in romantic and intimate relationships between men and women, women are very much in need of receiving solid Containment from their men.

Beyond romantic relationships, being able to give good Containment is a skill very much needed between parents and children, even bosses and employees.

To learn more about this, please come take our class:  https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsm

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

It’s good to understand that sensual energies move in an UP & DOWN cyclical form.

It’s good to master providing both of these phases to our partners in our sensual connections:

CONTAINMENT involves the grounding and integrating phase of the energy.

PENETRATION is the more stimulating and arousing phase of the cycle.

*******************

Culturally, we are more aware of and have more emphasis on the Penetrative aspect of sensuality.  We want to stimulate our partners.  We want to arouse them.  We want to create a big response in them.

BDSM is brilliant at emphasizing the Containment element of our energetics.  A good BDSM scene begins and ends in Containment.

To learn more about this, please come take our class:  https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsm

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

It’s always a pleasure to talk to Kelly, especially at such length, and get into the topics regarding Man-Woman Relating and Eros that we are both deeply curious about.

Also mentioned in here is the new free mini-course I’ve just released : DOMINANT MAN + SUBMISSIVE WOMAN - A RELATIONSHIP PRIMER.

That course is available on my teaching website at OmRupani.com

Kelly's Website : https://www.kellybroganmd.com/

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Hello Everyone.  As more people these days are becoming curious about exploring a more polarized dynamic in their man-woman connections, there is a growing inquiry around how exactly can a couple go about doing this flavor of relating.  Men want to know how they might better step into their Dominant archetype.  Women have many concerns about what it means to be a submissive woman.  There is a lot of political charge around the notion of a woman being submissive to a man.

I have 2 separate courses for men and women who want to explore this particular kind of embodiment and relationship creation:

For men, I have my CREATING THE DOMINANT MAN course.

For women, I have WHAT MEN WANT - A COURSE FOR WOMEN.

Both of these courses call for a significant financial investment.  Full information on them is available on my website at OmRupani.org

As a way of introducing these concepts to people who are still only curious about this modality and not yet ready to make the full journey and make the money investment, I have designed this free mini-course as a self-study primer.

I kind of need this free mini-course for my own purposes to offer to couples who want to come to me for private coaching.  I feel if I offer them this information first, they can get a feel for whether all this Dominance and Submission is their cup of tea or not.  If it is, we can talk further.  If not — now you know, and you can go try something else.

Also, there are many teachers offering their coaching on polarized relating.  There isn’t any universal consensus between all people on what good polarized relating is.  Not to mention, there are plenty of people who think all this polarized relating is nonsense.

I think a polarized man-woman relationship can be really great.  I believe men and women are different.  I believe men and women need and desire different things from each other.  I believe that we can serve each other better by strengthening our individual gifts and offering those to our partner.

These are just my Ideas on how we might do man-woman relating better.  Come explore these ideas for free if you are curious.  Make up your own mind.

**********************

This mini course is available on my teaching website at OmRupani.com (This is a different website than my other website where my course informations are listed at OmRupani.org)

OmRupani.com is free to join, but you will have to take a minute to read the guidelines for entering this platform and answering a few questions.

Further instructions for accessing the free mini-course are inside the platform.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.com

www.OmRupani.org

Talk to two opposing parties — whether these opposing parties be quarreling countries or quarreling siblings or spouses.  Ask the two parties to give a tally of their actions.  On paper, their actions will likely seem identical.  Both of them have likely been:

Selfish.

Thoughtless.

Judgemental.

Dismissive.

Violent.

Hurtful.

Unconscious.

Manipulative.

Untruthful.

Conniving.

Expedient.

Prideful.

And yet, ask either of them how they perceive themselves in this conflict, and almost without exception, both of them will declare themselves the victim in the conflict.

Where are the villains of the world?

Why is it that we human beings never seem to have the capacity, the caliber or the clarity to declare ourselves the villain in the story of another?  How is it possible that everyone is a victim in their own story without ever being the villain in someone else’s story?
Who has established this virtue that being a victim is better than being a villain?

Where has this notion taken place that in an ideal world and in ideal human relating, there would be no villains at all?

Do we really want a life in which nobody has ever played the villain in our story?

Do we really want a life in which we have never played the villain in someone else’s story?

Why has the villain in us so throughly been pushed into our shadow?

*********************************

3 CONTRIBUTIONS MY VILLAINS HAVE MADE TO MY LIFE

1.  My villains were strong.  By pushing me down into the mud and forcing me to get up again, they rendered me stronger.

My villains showed me where I was sitting fat, dumb and complacent.  They raised my game.  They tested my fences and showed me where I had stalled in life.

My villains pushed me to increase my power so I could overcome them.

My villains pushed me deep into my victimhood so I could eventually feel revulsion at my state of victimhood and claw my way out of it.

2.  My villains invariably had qualities and virtues and powers I did not posses at the time they victimized me.  They had bigger range over the game of life than I did.  They showed me what else was possible in human embodiment.

They beat the sleepiness and naiveté out of me.  They gave me a sharper connection to reality and to human nature.  They made me shrewder and wiser.  They were not teachers I had chosen, but the education I received at their hands was invaluable.

They may not have stepped up to be my mentors, they may have only showed up to victimize me, but through them I acquired strengths, powers and masteries I would not have otherwise.

3.  My villains have made my life interesting.  Subtract the villains of my life from my life and I don’t even know what remains.  

The challenges they hurled my way constitute the best stories of my life.

My antagonism and battles with them have been the most engaging and thrilling portions of my story.

While engaging with my villains, my life was many things, but never boring.  Without the engagement with my villains, my life would have been downright insipid.

*********************************

3 SHADOW PIECES THAT EMERGE FROM ELEVATING VICTIMHOOD OVER VILLAINY:

1.  Those who are determined to play the victims will manufacture villains out of others.

2.  Those who clearly are villains will camouflage themselves as victims.

3.  The sympathy and resources we reserve for victims attract lying parasites.

*********************************I am myself indifferent honest but yet I could accuse myself of such things that it were better my mother had not borne me. I am

www.OmRupani.org

DOMINANT MAN + SUBMISSIVE WOMAN - A RELATIONSHIP PRIMER

As more men and women become curious about exploring a more polarized form of relating, the most common inquiry that is understandably coming my way these days is : ‘Well, how do we do this?’  How does one go about creating a polarized relationship dynamic and container?  What are the ingredients?  How does one cook this particular relationships dish?

In answer to this increasingly common inquiry, I’ve designed a mini-course on this topic and will be making it available for free on my platform at OmRupani.com.

More soon.

—Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

All people are lying all the time.

Men lie.

Women lie.

In my observation, women like more than men and better than men.

Why do we lie?

We lie to get our way.

We lie to avoid punishment.

We lie in order to look good and avoid looking bad.

I think women have a fourth reason for lying, which I think is their most common reason for lying.  I discuss that reason in this talk.

*************************

To be a great Dom, get underneath the desires of your submissive.  Dig deeper.  Trace the origin of their desire. 

Track down what is underneath the desire.

Want to see your submissive more deeply.

Create a permission field where they might feel welcomed to reveal themselves more deeply.

*************************

This same seeing is badly needed in vanilla man-woman relationships.

In great relationships, the two people remain interested in seeing each other.  They don’t accept surface level answers from each other.  They dig.  They want to know the other.

To be a stand for wanting more for our partner, first we have to have the desire to see them more deeply.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

IN-PERSON TRAININGS:

Tantra meets BDSM - 6 Day Retreat in Tulum, Mexico

The Modern Priestess Of Eros - Practitioner Training

ONLINE WORKSHOPS:

What Men Want : A Course For Women

Creating The Dominant Man

BDSM Fundamentals & Scene Play Training

www.OmRupani.org

Boredom isn’t just a shallow thing.  Boredom is ultimately indicative of soul stagnation.

Boredom indicates to us that our journeys have stalled.

We are here seeking expansion.  We are here seeking experiences.  Our soul is on an arc.

Our Eros is no exception to his.  Our erotic journey and self-expression is also an expressive arc.

In a thriving Dom-sub dynamic, a great Dom understands this.  He does not have his eye on just creating a little bit of momentary stimulation for his submissive.  A great Dom has his eye on the soul journey of his submissive’s erotic expression.

What is that the submissive’s soul is seeking next?  What is her erotic expression longing for next?  Where is she stuck?  Where is she holding herself back?  Where can I facilitate her movement and expansion?

*****************

In vanilla relationships as well, the women today are tremendously bored with their men.

Women feel men don’t really see them.  Men aren’t really curious about them.  Men don’t really understand women, let along being a stand for their soul expansion.

Both the submissive and the woman have a tremendous capacity for fun.

Both of them have a tremendous capacity for extracting fun out of both positive and negative experiences.  This is a very important and rich fact for Doms and men to keep in mind.  To take their women/submissive on a full ride, you need to be masterful at making use of both positive as well as negative experience to generate fun for them.

******************

In the work environment, the number 1 reason people quit their jobs and careers is not because they are not making enough money or they hate their bosses; it’s that most people are bored out of their fucking minds with their work and job and career.

People feel they are stagnating in their career.  People feel they are going to do die repeating this same day over and over, and that would be a tragic way to spend the rest of their life.

As a boss or an employer, keep an eye on creating challenges for your employees.  Give them new missions and new challenges.

As an employee, keep an eye on whether you are growing through your work.  You will live a more fulfilling life making less money at something that is challenging you rather than the opposite.

— Om Rupani

IN-PERSON TRAININGS:

Tantra meets BDSM - 6 Day Retreat in Tulum, Mexico

The Modern Priestess Of Eros - Practitioner Training

ONLINE WORKSHOPS:

What Men Want : A Course For Women

Creating The Dominant Man

BDSM Fundamentals & Scene Play Training

www.OmRupani.org

People often ask whether BDSM principles and energetics can be applied to other relationships and dynamics.  I’ve heard too many bad answers to this inquiry.  I’ve decided to make my own series of conversations to talk about how the skills from a good and balanced D/s dynamic might be extrapolated to :

1.  Non-BDSM / Vanilla relationships.
2.  Work dynamics where there is a Employer/employee, Leader/follower dynamic.

**************************

CONTAINMENT!

First and foremost, let’s start with the skill and mastery of Containment.

Containment is the first skill and energetics needed to make a D/s dynamic work.

Containment is what the Dom offers to their submissive at the beginning of every scene.

It’s in the giving and receiving of Containment between the Dom and the sub that their relationship is established.

It is the first skill and the most crucial skill that Doms needs to learn.

**************************

VANILLA RELATIONSHIPS : Containment is needed in all personal relationships.  In all relationships, at least one of the two people should be able to offer great Containment to the other.

The polarity in a relationship is often established along the lines of which person is generally in greater need of Containment and which person is more easily able to offer Containment.

In a man-woman dynamic, almost without exception, men really need to step up and learn to offer great Containment to their women.

**************************

WORK DYNAMIC : Good leaders offer good Containment to their followers.  Good bosses offer Containment to their employees.

When the leader walks into the room, the others should feel a sigh of relief.  They should feel more assured.  They should feel more held.

Feeling this way towards one’s leader inspires our follower-ship.  Receiving this Containment from our leader inspires us to trust them and to support them.

— Om Rupani

IN-PERSON TRAININGS:

Tantra meets BDSM - 6 Day Retreat in Tulum, Mexico

The Modern Priestess Of Eros - Practitioner Training

ONLINE WORKSHOPS:

What Men Want : A Course For Women

Creating The Dominant Man

BDSM Fundamentals & Scene Play Training

www.OmRupani.org

Keeping an eye on our future can be very clarifying.

Whenever I see a man who seems lost in his life today, it is inevitably the case that he has lost his vision for the future that he is building.

Having a vision for our future helps us align our energies.  It gives correct direction to where we should be spending our efforts today.

It’s difficult to feel engaged with life without a vision for our future.

****************

Considering that the future is always going to be uncertain and unpredictable, how should we proceed with envisioning it?

My advice is — be pessimistic!  Don’t count on the future being as good or better than today.  Expect things to go wrong.  Expect disasters.  Have a negative temperament.  

Not being naive as a man is in part having this negative temperament.  Not being naive is knowing that disasters await us — that the people and things we can count on today, we may not be able to count on tomorrow.

Answer the uncertainty of future with pessimism.

****************

Keeping an eye on future catastrophes and doing one’s best to prepare for them — this is also a crucial dimension of leadership.

We expect our leaders to be future-oriented.  We are expecting that by following a particular leader, our future might turn out better than without that leader.

As a leader, accept this responsibility.  Whether you are a leader on a big scale, or just a leader in your family unit, those who are following you are looking to you to cover their future, to prepare for the disasters to come.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

There is a lot of talk these days about HYPERGAMY among men.

The basic idea so many men have accepted regarding how women operate with men, how women select men is that women go for the top guys.

The top 5% of men, or the top 10% or 20% of men get all the women.  The rest of the men are invisible to women.  The rest of the men are bound to be losers in the man-woman game.

There is some data in dating apps that supports this hypothesis.

I would like to challenge it.

I don’t think women pick men be comparing them to other men.  I don’t think women have any internal compass for only going for the ‘top’ guys.

I think a woman evaluates each man she encounters against her own system.  She evaluates him according to how he lands in her system.  She does not evaluate him in comparison to some other man.

For men to believe that all men are in competition with each other for women, and that only the top 20% of men are the victors in this game — this is a defeatist model.  And it is an erroneous model.

— Om Rupani

OmRupan.org

www.OmRupani.org

A skilled gardener communes with each plant or tree he encounters.  He knows enough about plants to know how this particular plant is doing and how this plant might fair even better.

He can tell if this plant would do better in more or less light, with more or less water, planted on this side of the garden or that.

The good gardener contributes to each plant, tree or shrub he encounters.

The good physician essentially operates in the same Modus Operandi with the long list of patients he examines each day.

I propose that a similar way of operating in sensuality and in our love relationships might yield far better results for us.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

Some women have been asking this questions after watching the previous videos I’ve put out on Containment.  These are some thoughts.

Om Rupani

— OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

I believe the crucial difference between these two categories of women is the difference in one core belief they are carrying.

The life they lead and what they create with men is actually in logical harmony with this single core belief.

Without changing this core belief, it is impossible for women who actually do want to have successful partnerships with men to create them.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org 

www.OmRupani.org

The idea of Self-Esteem is something that has become common knowledge.  We all think we know what it is.  There seems to be a general consensus that having high self-esteem is a good thing, and having low self-esteem is something that is regrettable and should be corrected.

I am not sure about any of this regarding Self-Esteem.  And yet, I believe self-esteem is a real enough internal and relational phenomenon that it should be thought about and addressed.

My proposition is that we build our esteem around the simple metric of being of use to others.

This seems to be easier to explain to men.  Somehow women’s self-esteem issues always seem to get more complicated.  But for men, it should be straightforward that they should build their esteem around what value they are bringing into this world and into the lives of others.

Even in their relations with women, men should ask, ‘How am I useful to women?’  If you are not having success with women, it’s because women are not seeing use in you.

Women evaluating men for their use is correct and fair.  Men should take any feedback they get from women regarding their value to them and course-correct to make themselves more attractive.

My advise to women regarding how they should go about creating success with men is the same : Create value for men.  Be of use to men.

But saying to women that they should be of use to men has become a very controversial matter these days.  Certainly, telling women that they should CHANGE and CORRECT themselves in order to be more useful and attractive to men is perhaps THE taboo proposition of our times.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

I believe our human soul has always known that our Eros is a pathway to divinity.

I believe that this is one of the core drives that pulls us towards sex.  We in fact are looking for God through sex.  We are looking for our original home through sex.  We are looking for the end to our separation identity through sex.

We know this, and yet this knowing is murky for the vast majority of us.

Even among the sacred sexuality community, I’m not sure how many of us are living this reality and reaching for it directly.  Which is ok.  Perhaps it’s just the process of us finding our depth along this particular pathway.

First we hear of the possibility.  Then we follow and experiment.  And perhaps for a long while, we are in ‘fake it till make it’ modality.  I feel that many people today are in this phase of discovering the scared in the erotic.

I think even when we pay for sex, when we seek Courtesans or choose to be Courtesans, we are engaging in this sacred portal that is possible through the Erotic.  All Courtesans are partially Priests and Priestess — even if the Courtesans themselves don’t believe this much themselves.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

Even before being concerned with giving Containment to anyone, including your woman, it’s good as a man to have a distinction between your Core and your Emotions.

A man himself should be anchored in his Core, and not be focused on the changing weather of his emotions.  One of the hallmarks of masculinity is: can a man stay centered in turbulent situations?  Can a man stay centered even when his own emotions might be stirred?

Can a man stay centered even when in fear?

Can a man function when emotional temperatures around him are running high.

Can a man show up and contribute even when he himself is feeling challenged.

So, to give Containment to your woman’s Core, you first need to be anchored in your own Core.

From there, it will seem more logical and correct for you to offer Containment to your woman — from your Core to her Core.  Just as you are not knocked off-course by your own emotions of the moment, you will not be knocked off-balance by your woman’s emotions.

********************

These days, I see too many men who are doing the reverse — men who are not anchored in their own Core; men who are not able to hold their center when their emotions rise; instead, they sway and turn watery in their own emotions.  

Then, when they engage with women, they engage their women’s emotions with their own emotions.  This is NOT Containment.  

This meeting of women’s emotionality with the man’s emotionality is the opposite of Containment.  It is the equivalent of blowing on the flames only to add oxygen to the fire, instead of putting out the fire.

Stop engaging your woman’s emotions.  Offer Containment to her Core instead.

Stop being flailed around by your own emotions; keep centered in your own Core instead.

********************

A balanced woman who is not running some manipulation energy with you will want your Containment.

If you encounter a woman who seems less interested in receiving your Containment and instead wants to inflame your emotions, you are facing an aspect of the Dark Feminine!

If a woman is less interested in you providing her Containment and more interested in inflaming the emotion-to-emotion drama and charge between the two of you — that woman is either in her pain body, or the emotionality she wants to evoke in you is her means of throwing you off-balance so she can control you better by manipulating your emotions.

— Om Rupani

— OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org