This week, Mary B is joined by biblical scholars Jennifer Garcia Bashaw and Aaron Higashi to discuss their upcoming book Serving Up Scripture: How to Interpret the Bible for Yourself and Others. The book offers accessible tools for interpreting scripture with care, curiosity, and context. Rather than a black and white understanding of the text as right or wrong, Bashaw and Higashi invite readers to ask important questions of the text: What genre is this? Who wrote it, and under what circumstances? Who benefits from this interpretation, and which social relationships are being privileged? They also encourage theological reflection, asking what a passage suggests about God.

Using cooking as a guiding metaphor, Serving Up Scripture treats biblical texts as ingredients to create a meaningful interpretation. In this conversation, Mary, Jen, and Aaron explore how this approach can help defang interpretations of the Bible that have been used to harm others. As Higashi, quoting St. Augustine, reminds us, “any understanding of the Bible that increases the two fold love between human beings and each other, or human beings and God is a good interpretation.”

Jennifer Garcia Bashaw is a professor at Campbell University and an ordained Baptist minister. She has a PhD in New Testament from Fuller Seminary and is the author of Scapegoats: The Gospel through the Eyes of Victims and John for Normal People: A Guide through the Drama and Depth of the Fourth Gospel.

Aaron Higashi is a public Bible scholar with a PhD in biblical interpretation from Chicago Theological Seminary. He writes Bible commentaries, including 1 & 2 Samuel for Normal People: A Guide to Prophets, Kings, and Some Pretty Terrible Men, and answers Bible questions on Instagram at @abhigashi.

Preorder your copy of Serving Up Scripture wherever you buy books. Follow Jen on Instagram @jgbashaw and Aaron on TikTok @aaron.higashi and Instagram @abhigashi. Jennifer and Aaron's other books are available; just search for each of their names wherever you buy books. 

This is our last Found Family episode for a couple of months! I am taking a much-needed break. Feel free to peruse old episodes or join the very free Found Family crew over on Substack for a free monthly message from me. 

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This discussion explores several paradoxes: the need for isolation and contemplation in order to better serve community, the gifts and deep flaws that exist simultaneously within the established church, and the ways faith can deepen through disillusionment. MaryB. and Rose’s conversation invites listeners to understand that learning to live with these paradoxes is an essential part of growth.

Rose Marie Berger is a Catholic poet, writer, and peace activist who has worked for social change movements for 40 years. She is poetry editor and senior editor for Sojourners, a magazine whose mission is to inspire hope and action by articulating the biblical call to social justice. She has traveled to Ukraine, Colombia, Bosnia, and elsewhere to support faith-rooted peacemaking. Rose is active in the global Catholic Nonviolence Initiative. She is co-editor of Advancing Nonviolence and Just Peace in the Church and World and has presented several times on nonviolence at the Vatican. Her poetry has appeared in Watershed Discipleship: Reinhabiting a Bioregional Faith and Practice and Buffalo Shout, Salmon Cry: Conversations on Creation, Land Justice, and Life Together. Rose has spent her life engaged in faith-based activism, advocacy journalism, and pastoral leadership. Rose was born at 319.08 ppm CO2 and raised in the American River watershed, in traditional Nisenan-Maidu territory. She lives in Oak View, Calif., with her wife Heidi Thompson. 

Light for the Way is available today wherever you buy books! Follow Sojourners on IG @sojogram. Follow Rose on Bluesky @rmberger.bsky.social

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Shelby’s work aims to interrupt that pattern. The title of her book is structured around three simple statements: Of course. I’m here. Right now. These serve as guideposts for offering genuine, supportive language. Shelby also explores the idea of collateral grief, the secondary losses that often accompany a primary grief event, such as routines, relationships, or imagined futures. 

Together, Mary B and Shelby examine a form of grief that is frequently minimized in our culture: the grief that follows the end of a friendship or relationship.

Shelby Forsythia (she/her) is a grief coach, author, and podcast host. In 2020, she founded Life After Loss Academy, an online course and community that has helped dozens of grievers grow and find their way after death, divorce, diagnosis, and other major life transitions.

Following her mother’s death in 2013, Shelby began calling herself a “student of grief” and now devotes her days to reading, writing, and speaking about loss. Through a combination of mindfulness tools and intuitive, open-ended questions, she guides her clients to welcome grief as a teacher and create meaningful lives that honor and include the heartbreaks they’ve faced. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Bustle, and The Oprah Magazine.

Preorder your copy of Of Course I'm Here Right Now wherever you buy books. Get your hands on the many resources Shelby offers at shelbyforsythia.com. 

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Kat Armas (MDiv, MAT, Fuller Theological Seminary) is a Cuban American writer and podcaster and the recipient of Fuller Seminary's Frederick Buechner Award for Excellence in Writing. She is pursuing a ThM at Vanderbilt Divinity School. Armas is the author of three books, Abuelita Faith, Sacred Belonging, and Liturgies for Resisting Empire. She has written for Christianity Today, Sojourners, Relevant, Christians for Biblical Equality, Fuller Youth Institute, Fathom magazine, and Missio Alliance.

Get Liturgies for Resisting Empire wherever you buy books (check Baker Books to see if it's still on sale there!). Follow Kat on socials @kat_armas. Check out Kat's Substack at katarmas.substack.com

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Mary B is joined by Dr. Sara Moslener to discuss her new book After Purity: Race, Sex, and Religion in White Christian America. Moslener traces her journey from a high school defender of purity culture to a scholar with a nuanced understanding of how the myth of purity has helped mask elements of white supremacy as Christian values. She reflects on the power of myth as a storytelling tool that — depending on its intent — can yield positive or harmful results. Mary B relates this to the ways myths are being used by the most powerful in this country to attack trans folks. Moselener urges that although much of her research is from the point of view of white women, sexual purity must be considered in an intersectional way. 

Sara J. Moslener (she/her) is a lecturer in the Department of Philosophy, Anthropology, and Religion at Central Michigan University. She is the author of Virgin Nation: Sexual Purity and American Adolescence and creator of the podcast Pure White: Sexual Purity and White Supremacy. She lives in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan, with her best friend and soulmate, Gibson the Chug.

You can get After Purity wherever you buy books. Follow Sara on Substack at afterpurity.substack.com. 

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Angela Herrington is a spiritual coach and seminary-trained online pastor who has spent more than a decade helping people break free from toxic religious culture. She is the host of The Deconstructing Faith Summit, a Lark’s Song Certified Life Coach, and a dynamic conference speaker. Her work has been featured in The New Republic, Religion News Service, Hope for Women magazine, and Authority Magazine. 

 Angela and her unique online ministry are featured in Lyz Lenz’s 2019 book God Land: Story of Faith, Loss, and Renewal in Middle America. She has published articles in Hope for Women and HOPE is Now magazines. Angela is the author of Deconstruct Your Faith Without Losing Yourself and Embracing the Old Witch in the Woods. 

She is also a wife, a mom to 5, and a proud resident of Marion, Indiana, with her family when they’re not traveling the US in their RV.

Get all the good stuff on Angela's website, angelajherrington.com. Order Embracing the Old Witch in the Woods wherever you buy books, and if you want Angela to pop into your book club, reach out! Angela is on social media @angelajherrington 

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In this episode they chat with Mary B about Kaleidescope’s upcoming Trans Prayer March which will be held in multiple locations around the country, and stand out as a place of gathering in joy when so often trans folks are forced to gather in grief and mourning. They discuss the importance of centering trans experiences, trans voices, and the needs of the trans community right now. As Elizabeth says, “What good are my needs being met, if my siblings are suffering.”

Elizabeth Black (she/her) is the Co-Founder & CEO of Kaleidoscope, an LGBTQ+ mission organization in New York City. An evangelist, theologian, and minister, Elizabeth longs to see Queer people experience social and spiritual justice and liberation in their unique fullness. Originally from Baltimore, MD, she received a Bachelor's degree in Biblical Studies from Washington Bible College before earning a Master’s in Contextual Theology from All Nations Christian College in the UK. Her work centers on BIPOC transgender theologies of kinship, alongside writing and speaking on LGBTQ+ mission and evangelism. Elizabeth’s scholarship is featured in Christlike Acceptance Across Deep Difference: Constructive Conversations on Sexuality and Gender. Beyond her ministry, Elizabeth is a proud wife and mother of two young boys, living in a household woven together with her husband, children, and two beautiful friends who are chosen family.   

Logan Morrison (he/him) serves as the Trans Care Specialist and Community Outreach Coordinator at Kaleidoscope. He holds a Masters of Arts in Organizational Leadership. He pursued collegiate soccer coaching for six years following his education and grew a passion for building mentoring relationships with young people exploring topics of faith, sexuality, gender, and purpose. Logan saw the need of showing the radical love of Jesus to the marginalized, and particularly the Queer and Trans community, and took the step into sharing his own story as a Trans man and using it for God’s glory in mission. Logan lives with his chosen family in New York City, including three dogs. 

Follow Kaleidoscope on social media @kaleidoscope.usa. Join the Trans Prayer March by checking out locations and info at kaleidoscopeusa.org. Support Kaleidoscope and their Trans Care Ministry at kaleidoscope.org as well. Liz is on Instagram @lizlblack ,and you can buy Christlike Acceptance Across Deep Difference wherever you buy books. 

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Kaitlin B. Curtice is an Indigenous poet-storyteller, a public speaker, and the award-winning author of Native and Living Resistance. She has written for Sojourners, Religion News Service, On Being, Oprah Daily, and The Liminality Journal, and her work has been featured on CBS and in USA Today. A citizen of the Potawatomi nation, Kaitlin speaks on topics such as colonialism in faith communities, interfaith relationships, and the intersection of spirituality and identity, and she has collaborated with The Aspen Institute and Chautauqua Institution. She lives near Philadelphia with her family.

You can buy Everything Is a Story wherever you buy books. Subscribe to Kaitlin's Substack, The Liminality Journal at kaitlincurtice.substack.com. Follow Kaitlin on IG @kaitlincurtice. 

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Brian G. Murphy is an organizer, author, and certified relationship coach helping LGBTQ+ and polyamorous people build thriving relationships on their own terms without shame or "shoulds."

As co-founder of QueerTheology.com, the longest-running LGBTQ+ spirituality podcast and the first explicitly queer online community, Brian supports LGBTQ+ spiritual seekers in integrating sex, gender, and spirit to rebuild their faith and live into their values.

He is a sought-after speaker at colleges, churches, and conferences across the country and his work has been featured in Vice, BuzzFeed, The Huffington Post, The Advocate, Upworthy, and NBC News.

Brian is the author of Love Beyond Monogamy and co-author of Queers The Word. His next book, Reading The Bible Through Queer Eyes, co-authored with Shannon TL Kearns, will published by HarperOne in spring 2026

 Get Love Beyond Monogamy wherever you buy books. Get the bonuses Brian mentioned at thisisbgm.com/book. You can follow Brian on socials @thisisbgm. 

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 Jaye Brix (they/she) is a tattoo artist, songwriter, and content creator whose work explores the intersections of creativity, identity, and healing. A former evangelical pastor who came out as Nonbinary in her 30s, Jaye now uses her platforms to speak candidly about deconstruction, queer joy, and reclaiming faith beyond the boundaries that once confined them.

You can follow Jaye on Instagram and TikTok @jbrix_art and find the links to all her other offerings at the link in their bio. 

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 Rev. Joash P. Thomas (MACL, MACS, Dallas Theological Seminary; MPS, The George Washington University) is a public theologian and a highly sought-after international speaker. Born and raised in India, he ran a political consulting and lobbying firm in the United States before working as an international human rights leader. He is an ordained minister in the Diocese of St. Anthony in the Communion of Evangelical Episcopal Churches and lives in a multiethnic community in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.

Pre-order your copy of The Justice of Jesus wherever you buy books. Follow Joash on the 'gram @joashpthomas and on Substack at Jesus, Justice, and Joash. 

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Lauren Smallcomb is a certified Mind-Body Practitioner whose journey as a healer began at 20 when she became a registered nurse, dedicating a decade to caring for patients in the ER. She later expanded her expertise to become a birth doula and, eventually, a nutritional therapist. In 2020, after making the difficult decision to walk away from a dysfunctional family system, Lauren embarked on a transformative process of rebuilding her mind and body through brain retraining and trauma healing. This journey inspired her to become a certified Mind-Body Practitioner. Her newfound sense of empowerment prompted Lauren and her therapist husband to establish Flourish Therapy, with the intention of helping others heal and thrive after childhood trauma. Born and raised in upstate New York, they now make their home in Northern Thailand with their children, two dogs, and a cat. 

Golden Child is available on Amazon and at flourishtherpy.co. You can get Lauren's "101+ Doses of Courage" on their site as well. Follow Lauren on Instagram and Facebook @flourish_therapy. 

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Rev. Liz Theoharis and Charon Hribar are both anti-poverty activists. Liz is the founder and director of the Kairos Center for Religions, Rights, and Social Justice and co-chair of the Poor People’s Campaign. She has been arrested for praying on the steps of the Supreme Court as part of a series of protests against poverty and racism. Charon also serves at the Kairos Center and the Poor People's Campaign. She is a song leader who helps empower communities to integrate arts into their efforts for justice.

Get your copy of We Pray Freedom wherever you buy books. Follow the Kairos Center on all the socials @kairoscenternyc. Sign up for the newsletter at kairoscenter.org. Join the Freedom Church of the Poor for Sunday Service online at 6 PM Eastern or Bible Study on Wednesdays at 6 PM Eastern by signing up on the Kairos Center's website. 

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Support Kaleidoscope's Jesus at Pride campaign by becoming a one-time or monthly donor at kaleidoscopeusa.org. Follow Kaleidoscope on socials @kaleidoscope.usa 

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Nia Chiaramonte (she/her), with her wife Katie J. Chiaramonte, is the co-founder of Love in the Face and co-author of Embracing Queer Family. Nia and Katie work to support other transgender and LGBTQIA+ individuals and their families on their journeys of self-discovery. She and Katie were featured in the Hulu documentary We Live Here. Nia is a nonprofit professional, and she and Katie reside near Baltimore, Maryland with their five children.

You can preorder I Hardly Knew Me wherever you buy books, and there's still time to join the launch team! Just DM Nia on the 'gram @finding.nia and she'll tell you the next steps. Be sure to give Nia a follow while you're there. 

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Matt Nightingale (he/him) is a pastor, musician, speaker, writer, and spiritual director from San Francisco’s North Bay Area. He is the founder and executive director of Common Sanctuary, and co-pastor of a progressive American Baptist church called The Quest.

As a gay Christian, Matt is passionate about the intersection of sexuality and spirituality, and he works to create safe, sacred spaces for people exploring these identities. His TEDx talk, “Choosing Gratitude and Hope,” with his former wife, Luanne Nightingale, tells their story of a mixed-orientation marriage, an evolving understanding of faith and sexuality, and the choice to divorce with gratitude and hope.

Matt is the husband of Alejandro and the father of four adult children. 

You can find Matt on socials @mattnightingale. Check out all the resources Matt mentioned on his website, mattnightingale.com, and commonsanctuary.org. 

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Eugene Kim (he/him) is an ordained minister with over 25 years of experience in local church ministry. However, recognizing the need to rethink traditional models, he discerned the need to step beyond the familiar in order to reimagine how we do “church” from the ground up. So, Eugene left his pastoral role in 2020 and founded New Wine Collective—a church innovation think tank and R&D lab.

 Eugene’s passions lie in systemic change and designing new ways of being the Church that can help heal the world and give everyone a place to belong. He currently serves as Executive Director of the Wild Fig Network, an emerging relational network for ministers and ministries looking for an alternative to traditional denominational structures. 

 Eugene grew up in Queens, NY and Seoul, Korea, and now lives in the Boston area. He loves hanging out with his three children, cooking and enjoying good food, and watching Korean dramas with his wife.

 You can find Wild Fig at wildfig.org. Connect with Eugene on socials @eugenekim. 

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Cara Meredith (she/her) is the author of Church Camp: Bad Skits, Cry Night, and How White Evangelicalism Betrayed a Generation (Broadleaf Books, 2025). She is also a sought-after speaker, public theologian, and development director who found home at a church camp in the Santa Cruz Mountains. After serving in various roles, she continued as a speaker for two decades at camps up and down the West Coast. With a master of theology (Fuller Seminary) and a background in education and nonprofit work, she is also the author of The Color of Life. Her writing has been featured in national media outlets such as The Oregonian, The New York Times, The Christian Century, and Christianity Today, among others. She lives with her family in Oakland, California. 

 Church Camp comes out April 29 and is available wherever you buy books. You can follow Cara on socials @carameredithwrites. Check out her Substack and her website, carameredith.com. 

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Rohadi (he/him) is a writer predominantly engaging the topics of decolonizing and deconstructing Christianity. Discover Rohadi’s latest book, “When We Belong. Reclaiming Christianity on the Margins.” His podcast on decolonizing Christianity is called: Faith in a Fresh Vibe. Season 11 is now available entitled, “Farewell Evangelicalism”.

 Rohadi has planted three churches including an online church he co-leads called A Beautiful Table. He has also written extensively in the areas of missions and church leadership, including his book, “Thrive. Ideas to lead the church in post-Christendom”.

 Follow Rohadi on socials @rohadi.nagassar. 

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Today, Aimee Byrd and I talk about finding the courage to admit we were wrong. 

Aimee (she/her) is an author, speaker, blogger, podcaster and former coffee shop owner. Aimee is the author of several books, including Saving Face, The Hope in Our Scars, Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood and Sexual Reformation. Her articles have appeared in First Things, Table Talk, Modern Reformation, By Faith, New Horizons, Ordained Servant, Harvest USA, and Credo Magazine, and she has been interviewed and quoted in Christianity Today and The Atlantic.

As a heads up, we discuss Aimee's experience of spiritual abuse. If that's a tender topic for you, please take care while listening.

NAMI Helpline: call 1-800-950-6264 or text "helpline" to 62640. 

Saving Face is available today wherever books are sold. Check out her Substack at byrdinyourbox.substack.com. 

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A former fundamentalist who became the first openly transgender man ordained to the Old Catholic priesthood, Shannon TL Kearns believes in the transformative power of story. As an ordained priest, a playwright, a theologian, and a writer, all of his work revolves around making meaning through story. He is the co-founder of QueerTheology.com. His first book is In the Margins: A Transgender Man’s Journey With Scripture. He has three books forthcoming: No One Taught Me How To Be A Man: What a trans man's experience reveals about masculinity, Come and See: A Youth Devotional, and Reading the Bible Through Queer Eyes (co-written with Brian G. Murphy).

Shannon was a Humanitas New Voices Fellow for 2022 and was a recipient of the Playwrights’ Center Jerome Fellowship in 20/21 and he was a Lambda Literary Fellow for 2019 (in playwriting) and 2022 (in screenwriting) and a Finnovation Fellow for 2019/2020. He is a sought after speaker on transgender issues and religion as well as a skilled facilitator of a variety of workshops. 

You can follow Shannon on all the socials @shannontlkearns. Preorder No One Taught Me How To Be a Man wherever you buy books. You can join Shannon's newsletter crew on his website, shannontlkearns.com

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Tracey Gee (she/her) is a certified leadership coach and consultant dedicated to guiding individuals toward transformative self-awareness and meaningful personal and professional growth. As an author, Tracey draws insight from her extensive experience across workshops, speaking engagements, and personalized coaching sessions. She is also a certified facilitator in four frameworks—Gallup CliftonStrengths, Working Genius, Enneagram, and Cultural Intelligence. Her diverse clientele includes UC Berkeley, Firm Foundation, AltaMed, Nomi Network, Coca-Cola, Amazon, and the Miami Heat. Tracey is originally from the Bay Area of California and now lives in Los Angeles with her husband, children, and dog, Kona. She loves coffee shops and every dog she's ever met.

You can buy The Magic of Knowing What You Want wherever you get books. Follow Tracey on Instagram @traceygee.me. Get her freebie at the link in her Insta bio or click on the link in the episode description. 

Quick note: During the interview, I mention a phrase without giving proper credit for where it came from. I borrowed the phrase "background work" from Devi Abraham, writer and co-host of the Where Do We Go From Here podcast. You can follow her on IG here and check out her podcast wherever you listen. 

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Scott Okamoto (he/him) is a 4th generation Japanese American (sansei) writer, musician, and podcaster. He grew up in a conservative evangelical household but found his way out while teaching English at Azusa Pacific University, a conservative evangelical school. He has since dedicated his work to helping people deconstruct and decolonize from that world as a podcaster (Chapel Probation), musician (Axis Mundia Media), and writer, (Asian American Apostate). He currently lives in Pasadena, California.

Find Scott on Substack. His piece "The Irresistible Allure of Whiteness in Deconstruction" is linked here. Chapel Probation and The Horny Chapel are available wherever you get your podcasts. Get your copy of Asian American Apostate wherever you get books! 

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Rev. Brandan Robertson (he/him) is a noted author, activist, and public theologian, dedicated to exploring the intersections of spirituality, sexuality, and social justice. He serves as the Pastor of Sunnyside Reformed Church in New York City and is the founder and Executive Director of The Devout Foundation. Known as the "TikTok Pastor," Robertson's inclusive theological content reaches over 250,000 followers and has garnered 6 million views. He has authored 23 books, including the INDIES Book of the Year finalist True Inclusion. His work has been featured in TIME Magazine, CNN, and The Washington Post. Robertson is a sought-after speaker who regularly presents at prestigious platforms like The White House and Oxford University, continuing to inspire and challenge audiences around the world. Robertson acquired a Bachelor of Arts in Pastoral Ministry and Biblical Studies from Moody Bible Institute, a Master of Theological Study from Iliff School of Theology, and a Master of Arts in Political Science and Public Administration from Eastern Illinois University. He's presently pursuing a PhD in Biblical Studies at Drew University. He currently resides in New York City.

You can follow Brandon on TikTok @revbrandanrobertson and on IG @brandanrobertson. Pre-order Queer & Christian at queerchristian.org or wherever you buy books! Check out all of Brandan's resources and links on his website, brandanrobertson.com

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Ashley Nadine Lopez (she/her) is the founder of Life Curious Women, a thriving platform empowering millennial and Gen Z women leaders to build confidence, pursue their passions, and live purpose-driven lives. As an on-camera actor, podcast host, speaker and advocate for holistic personal growth, she blends storytelling with actionable strategies to inspire women to embrace their multifaceted journeys. With her signature formula for discovering purpose, Ashley guides her community to connect with themselves, expand their horizons, and take bold steps toward transformation.

You can find Ashley on Instagram and TikTok @ashleynadinelopez. Listen to Life Curious Women wherever you get your podcasts and follow @lifecuriouswomen on IG and TikTok so you can get connected and find out about the Momentum Collective and in person events. 

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Jenai Auman (she/her) is a Filipina American writer, artist, and author of Othered. She draws from her years in church leadership as well as her trauma-informed training to write on healing and holistic spiritual formation. She received her bachelor's degree in behavioral health science and is currently pursuing a master's in spiritual formation at Northeastern Seminary. 

You can follow Jenai on IG and Threads @jenaiauman. Grab your copy of Othered wherever you buy books! 

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Ian is a bestselling author, psychotherapist, Enneagram teacher, Episcopal priest, and the host of the popular podcast Typology. His books include the Enneagram primer The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, which has sold over one million copies and his newest book, The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out and Everyone In Between. 

You can follow Ian on social media @ianmorgancron. The Fix releases next week, January 28, so make sure to preorder wherever you buy books! Check out Ian's podcast, Typology, wherever you listen. 

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Ayana Lage (she/her/hers) is a lifestyle writer who covers mental health, social justice, and maternal health inequities on her own platforms and for publications including Allure, Cosmopolitan and Bustle. Ayana lives in Tampa, Florida with her husband and two children. 

You can follow Ayana on Instagram @ayanagabriellelage

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Amber is a New York City tour guide. New York Magazine named her among their "things we love about New York," and CBC Radio called her "the only good tour guide in New York City." She does video essays on race, community, and New York on YouTube, and TikTok can be found on both platforms @AmericasComic. Book her Brooklyn Bridge Tour (with yelling) on Airbnb. 

CW: We have slightly spicier language than usual, including one use of the f slur, which we chose to bleep out. Also, this episode includes some discussion of the death of a child and adoption. Listen with care, pals.

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Get your copy of Relationality wherever you buy books! Check out resources and all the things at relationalitybook.com. Send David an email with your thoughts and stories at hello@relationalitybook.com. AVEN is still alive and well! Check it out at asexuality.org

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You can follow Natalie on Instagram, TikTok, and X @natalienaudus. Get your copy of Gay the Pray Away wherever you get books or audiobooks. Get monthly spicy sapphic stories on Natalie and her girlfriend's Patreon, Sapphic Sparks. 

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Kaitlyn Schiess is a writer, speaker, and theologian. She is the author of The Liturgy of Politics: Spiritual Formation for the Sake of Our Neighbor and is a regular cohost on the Holy Post podcast and hosts Curiously, Kaitlyn. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, Christianity Today, Christ and Pop Culture, Relevant, and Sojourners. She has a Masters of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary and is currently a doctoral student in political theology at Duke Divinity School. She lives in Durham, North Carolina.

You can follow Kaitlyn on Instagram and Twitter @kaitlynschiess. Snag your copy of The Ballot and The Bible, wherever you buy books--and make sure to rate and review!

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Lilly Dancyger is the author of First Love: Essays on Friendship (The Dial Press, 2024), and Negative Space (SFWP, 2021). She lives in New York City, and is a 2023 NYSCA/NYFA Artist Fellow in nonfiction from The New York Foundation for the Arts. She teaches creative nonfiction in MFA programs at Columbia University and Randolph College.

Find Lilly on Instagram at @lillydancyger and Substack at The Word Cave.

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Joash Thomas is an international speaker, global human rights leader and justice & liberation theologian. Born and raised in India, Joash ran a political consulting and lobbying firm in the United States before joining the human rights advocacy space. Joash has a master’s degree in Political Management from The George Washington University and is currently pursuing a dual master’s degree in Christian Leadership & Systematic Theology. An Oblate in the Diocese of St. Anthony, Joash is also the author of ‘A Just Gospel’, a forthcoming book in partnership with Brazos Press to be published in Fall 2025. Based in Canada’s Greater Toronto Area, Joash can also be found on social media (@JoashPThomas) and Substack (Jesus, Justice & Joash).

You can follow Joash on Instagram, Threads, and Twitter/X @joashpthomas. Join Joash's Substack community, Jesus, Justice, and Joash at joashpthomas.substack.com

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April is a content creator and podcast host who uses humor to shine light on harmful, toxic, and sometimes just weird traits of American Evangelicalism. After growing up an evangelist’s kid entrenched in Christian Nationalism and working in conservative Christian media, she saw the harm caused firsthand. Still a Christian, she uses her platform to expose the dangers of Christian Nationalism while promoting a more inclusive faith. April has been featured on Buzzfeed, CNN, Newsweek and more. She’s been married to Beecher for 10 years and they have two daughters together.

Please take care while listening, as there is discussion of homophobia, transphobia, and suicidal thoughts. If you're experiencing feelings of hopelessness or depression, please reach out to a trusted counselor or a hotline such as Trans Lifeline, which is 877-565-8860. 

You can get your copy of Star Spangled Jesus wherever books are sold. Follow April on all social media platforms @aprilajoy. You can hear April on The New Evangelicals podcast every Friday wherever you are listening. 

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Thomas Jay Oord, PhD, (he/him) is a theologian, philosopher, and scholar of multidisciplinary studies. He is a best-selling and award-winning author, having written or edited 30+ books. Academic Influence ranks him among the most influential theologians of the 21st century. Oord directs a doctoral program at Northwind Theological Seminary and directs the Center for Open and Relational Theology. He is known for his research and writing on love, open and relational theology, science and religion, evil and power, and the implications of freedom and relationships for transformation.

You can find Tom on social media @thomasjayoord. His website is thomasjayoord.com. My Defense is available on Amazon, as are all of Tom's books. 

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Nina Badzin (she/her) is the host of the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. She’s been writing about friendship since 2014, co-leads creative writing groups in Minneapolis, and writes the Substack newsletter Conversations About Friendship. You can find her on Instagram and TikTok at @dearninafriendship. 

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Lindsey Myers (she/her) founded Created Colorful in 2020 while navigating being a new mom. Pouring any energy she had into her kids, Lindsey slowly realized she had nothing left for herself. Hope came crashing into her life once she learned color analysis–a process where each person has a set of colors that objectively flatters them. From there, she was hooked. Through sharing her findings on Instagram, Lindsey quickly was flooded with requests and became a CEO “overnight” when Created Colorful was born. Its goal is to help you love how you naturally look by providing real and honest shopping + styling advice, no matter your size, age, or season of life. Created Colorful’s color analysis process works for all skin tones, types and ethnicities—including yours–allowing the brand to help more than 20,000 clients to date find their colors and reignite self-confidence.

In this episode, you'll hear Lindsey and I discuss:

• What is color analysis and why does it matter? 
• The simple test that takes our confidence to the next level
• Navigating the surprising vulnerability of letting ourselves be seen when we know we look good
• How our clothes can help us explore and communicate who we are--and find our people
• And how to manage the complex negotiation of self-expression and safety. 

You can follow Lindsey on Instagram @createdcolorful. Check out all her courses and offering on her website createdcolorful.com. 

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If you like this episode, you should sign up for my Substack and get a free message like this one delivered to your inbox on the last Tuesday of every month. It's totally free, and there are several pieces you can read while awaiting your next Found Family message. 

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Moriah Conant (they/she) is a psychologist-in-training who specializes in working with LGBTQIA+ individuals, young adults, and healing from trauma. They utilize a relational psychodynamic approach to therapy, along with feminist psychology and LGBTQIA+ affirming psychology. She is passionate about making mental healthcare and information about mental health accessible and equitable. They are currently completing their training through a placement at a university counseling center.

In this episode, you'll hear Moriah and I discuss: 

• Our very personal, complex stories of leaving non-affirming churches
• Letting go of people and places who cannot love you as you are
• Taking ownership of our boundaries and agency
• Practical tips to support yourself as you figure out if you want to stay or leave
• What happens if the non-affirming space is your employer or your school? 
• And so much more! 

You can follow Moriah on Instagram @mconantpsychology.

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Sara Elise (she/her) is a multidisciplinary creative, splitting her time between Brooklyn and The Catskills, New York. She works primarily in the hospitality, well-being, and food industries and is the cofounder and designer of Apogeo Collective, a hospitality experience centering QTPOC, as well as the founder of Harvest & Revel, a sustainable event catering + design company. 

She has been featured in Dazed, Autostraddle, Playboy, Interview Mag, Essence, Afropunk, mindbodygreen, Healthy-ish, Well + Good, Nylon, StyleLikeU, and them, among other publications. And was named one of BK Magazine's 50 Most Fascinating People in 2022.

As an autistic Black & Indigenous femme, she spends much of her thoughtspace contemplating pleasure + pain, collective joy + healing, otherness, embodiment, remembering + reclaiming, self-destruction, and growth— and how inextricably those concepts are linked. To that end, Sara Elise has deep interests in ritualization, BDSM, relationship dynamics, and the development of decolonized personal awareness and well-being. 

With all of her work, she aims to challenge our collective reality by first re­imagining and then creating alternative sys­tems and spaces for Black & Indigenous people of color and LGBTQIA2S+ people to thrive.

In this episode, you'll hear Sara Elise and I discuss

• Creating tools to support us in our most human moments
• Abundance, but not the capitalistic kind
• Building supportive rituals as a late-diagnosed autistic person 
• Hospitality that treats everyone as desired and essential
• And so much more! 

A Recipe for More is available wherever you buy books. Snag a signed copy by DMing Sara Elise on Instagram and mentioning Found Family. You can join Sara Elise's community-making at @SaraElise333 on Instagram, and find more of her writing at saraelise.substack.com. To learn more about Apogeo Collective or book your trip to the guest house, visit apogeocollective.com. 

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Prasanta Verma (MBA, MPH) (she/her) was born under an Asian sun, raised in the Appalachian foothills in the South, and now resides in the Upper Midwest. Her essays and poetry have been published in Sojourners, Propel Women, (in)courage, Inheritance Magazine, the Indianapolis Review, Barren Magazine, and the Mudroom blog. She served as a speech and debate coach for over ten years. When she's not writing, speaking, or working, she's drinking chai, walking, or reading. Prasanta lives with her family in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

In this episode, you'll hear Prasanta and I discuss:

• The universal and nuanced experiences of loneliness for BIPOC
• How to find agency and belonging for ourselves
• Tips for creating safe commmunity
• What Indian food teaches us about Indian culture
• And how white folks can support BIPOC friends experiencing ethnic loneliness. 

Beyond Ethnic Loneliness is available wherever you buy books. Follow Prasanta on IG @prasantaverma and on X @vermaprasanta. Check out more of her work on her website, prasantaverma.com. 

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Jenna DeWitt (she/her) is a sapphic aromantic asexual writer, editor, and resource curator. She is also an advocate, community builder, and Californian. 

In this episode, you'll hear Jenna and I discuss

• Finding resources that work for you, and sharing that oasis of resources with others. 
• The generous, life-saving rules of online communities that actually work. 
• Identifying the shared values and group rules that make the community better. 
• Widening our definition of "found family"
• and more! 

You can find Jenna's work—including essays, poetry, resource lists, and podcast episodes—at InvisibleCakeSociety.com, on Twitter @Jenna_DeWitt, or on Threads @JennaDeWitt.

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Terry J. Stokes (he/they) is a director of a youth development nonprofit organization on Lenape land now known as Trenton, NJ. He is also an anarchist theologian who seeks to support folks’ political and spiritual radicalization through his writing and speaking. He holds degrees from Yale University and Princeton Theological Seminary, and is the author of the new book Jesus and the Abolitionists: How Anarchist Christianity Empowers the People. 

In this episode, you'll hear Terry and I discuss: 

• Anarchy as a philosophy of freedom and abundance, not destruction or nihilism
• Nonviolent communication, mutual aid, and interdependence
• Seeing scripture through the lens of anarchy—and vice versa 
• How utopias may be more accessible than we thought
• What Leo Tolstoy and Jesus have in common
• and more! 

Jesus and the Abolitionists is out TODAY and available wherever you buy books. You can follow Terry on socials @ theologywterry. Their podcast is "Abolishing the state in a cool Christian way." Follow their Substack, anarchistxtianity. 

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Latasha Morrison (she/her) is a distinguished author and nonprofit founder widely known for her transformative work in fostering racial reconciliation and unity. As a New York Times best-selling author, she has captured the hearts and minds of readers worldwide with her powerful words and insightful perspectives. She founded the nonprofit Be the Bridge in 2016 to encourage racial reconciliation among all ethnicities, to promote racial unity in America and to equip others to do the same. In the book, she equips and calls readers to break the systems that have for so long marginalized the BIPOC communities. Through her writing and advocacy, Latasha Morrison is a beacon of hope, igniting conversations, challenging social norms and empowering others to take action toward a more inclusive and equitable world.

In today's episode, you'll hear Latasha and I discuss

• Sustainability and rest when navigating white spaces
• Why we need to tell the truth about our history
• Prioritizing someone else’s sorrow over our own defensiveness
• And more! 

Brown Faces, White Spaces is available TODAY wherever you buy books. You can follow Latasha all the places @ latashamorrison and @ bethebridge. Check out more of her work at latashamorrison.com

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Jonathan Merritt (he/him) is an award-winning columnist and commentator on politics, spirituality, and culture. He is a contributing editor for The Week and has been featured on prominent national outlets including The New York Times, USA Today, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and CNN. Jonathan has authored four critically-acclaimed books and has also served as a ghostwriter on dozens of others, many of which became New York Times bestsellers. Jonathan is a proud biological Guncle to five little ones in Georgia and a proud adoptive Guncle to ten nephews and nieces in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan, where he resides.

In today's episode, you'll hear Jonathan and I discuss: 

• What a children's book about a Guncle can teach us about celebrating ourselves. 
• Learning who we are in the midst of found family
• Embracing our differences not as liabilities but gifts 
• Accepting limitations in relationships 
• And the messy reality of loving across differences. 

You can get your copy of My Guncle and Me TODAY wherever books are sold. Follow Jonathan on the 'gram and Threads @jonathan_merritt. Read more of Jonathan's work on his website www.jonathanmerritt.com

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Allison Fallon (she/her) is an author, speaker, and founder of Find Your Voice, a community that supports anyone who wants to write anything. In addition to her books The Power of Writing It Down, Packing Light, and Indestructible, she has ghostwritten 11 books and has collaborated on countless others. Through Find Your Voice, she has helped leaders of multinational corporations, stay-at-home moms, Olympic gold medalists, recovering addicts, political figures, CEOs, and prison inmates use her methods as powerful tools to generate positive change in their lives. She has lived all over the country in the past decade but now lives in Nashville, Tenn., with her husband and two kids, Nella and Charlie. 

Ally and I discuss

• Writing your story as a practice of personal development
• The counterintuitive trick to writing resonantly
• The storytelling techniques that transform us
• Rethinking what it means to be the "hero" of your story 
• and so much more! 

You can follow Ally at allisonfallon.com. Write Your Story is out TODAY and available wherever you buy books. Follow her on Instagram @allyfallon. Listen to her podcast, Write Your Story, wherever you're listening to this one or anywhere else you might stream episodes. Additional resources can be found at findyourvoice.com and writeyourstory.com.

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Cait West is a writer and editor based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Her work has been published in The Revealer, Religion Dispatches, Fourth Genre and Hawai`i Pacific Review, among others. As an advocate and a survivor of the Christian patriarchy movement, she serves on the editorial board for Tears of Eden, a nonprofit providing resources for survivors of spiritual abuse, and co-hosts the Survivors Discuss podcast.

In this episode, you'll hear Cait and I discuss: 

• Detangling the perfectionism that patriarchy rewards 
• Repairing the line between us and our anger 
• Growing up within the Christian Patriarchy Movement — and un-forming its work in us 
• Reconnecting ourselves with our agency—and building support systems that can help that thrive 
• and more! 

Cait's story and perspective are compelling and compassionately told!

Rift is out today and available wherever books are sold! Follow Cait on social media @ caitwestwrites. You can read more of her work on her website, caitwest.com, and on her substack, caitwest.substack.com. 

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Art Pereira (he/him) was born in Minas Gerais, Brazil, and immigrated to the United States at the age of four. Having navigated marginalization from a young age both as an immigrant and a gay man, Art has a heart for community-building across cultural divides. After earning a BS in Youth Ministry from Nyack College, Art spent the last ten years working in youth ministry, growing his own heart for discipleship and pastoral care. 

Art has spoken at Revoice conferences and several podcasts on the topics of sexuality, faith, and community. He currently resides in Bernardsville, NJ, where he shares an apartment with his chosen brother and 60+ houseplants.

In this episode, you'll hear Art and I discuss

• How to navigate differences in conviction and theology with nuance and inclusivity
• Making and keeping friends through life changes
• The found family of immigrant churches 
• Why we can retire from being the morality police
• and trusting the Holy Spirit will do their thing with others. 

You can learn more about revoice and get your tickets to the June conference at revoice.org. Use code REVOICEPOD for $10 off your ticket. Follow @ revoiceorg on the 'gram for updates and encouragement, and follow @ art_per for pictures of coffee and plants. 

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Lin Melone (she/her) is a member of the Church of the Sojourners, an intentional Christian community in San Francisco, California. She has spoken at LGBTQ Christian conferences such as Q Christian Fellowship, Revoice, and E3, and presented workshops at children's ministry conferences on how to make churches more welcoming for LGBTQ youth and families. She also serves on the QCF EDI Advisory. She is the queer mom of a grown son from a former mixed-orientation marriage, and after retiring from a career as a Montessori teacher, she currently works for Catholic Charities in homelessness prevention.

In this episode, you'll hear Lin and I discuss 

• Creating inclusive, empowering spaces for diverse beliefs, convictions, and experiences 
• Tips for keeping your community from veering into cult territory
• How to structure a flexible community that works for its people
• and the importance of having non-negotiable and negotiable values--and knowing what yours are! 

You can learn more about Lin's church and community at churchofthesojourners.org. If you'd like to support Red Letter Christians, head to redletterchristians.org. Their Gaza Peace Pilgrimage has already happened, but Red Letter Christians and the organizations that also organized the pilgrimage are still active in calls for a ceasefire. Lin particularly recommends checking out and supporting Freedom Road. You can find ways to do so at freedomroad.us

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Nia Chiaramonte holds a BA in psychology from the University of Northern Iowa and an MBA in Human Resources from Northwest Missouri State. She is currently the Executive Director of Human Resources for a non-profit near Washington DC. Nia spent the first thirty-five years of her life hiding in plain sight, scared to be who she is and scared of what it might cost her. While the cost has been high, the reward of being free has been worth it. She is cofounder of Love in the Face, an organization to help and support other transgender and LGBTQIA+ individuals on their own journeys of self-discovery.

Katie J. Chiaramonte holds a BA in family services from the University of Northern Iowa and is a sendee of The LivingSchool. In addition, she is a certified reproductive doula. After over fifteen years of formal and informal lay ministry in the Christian tradition, Katie has found that love has brought her out into a more spacious place where tradition melts away and all things connect in a wide and endless web

Y'all are going to love Nia and Katie. In this episode, you'll hear us talk about:

• What is queer family, and how to embrace it
• Navigating the coming out journey with family and community
• A nontoxic practice of forgiveness 
• The generative synergy of queer community and creative community 
• and more!!

Thanks for listening! Embracing Queer Family is available wherever you buy books. Nia and Katie are on Instagram @finding.nia and @katiechiaramonte. You can listen to their podcast, Love in the Face wherever you get podcasts. Learn more about their work at loveintheface.com

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Welcome to Found Family. Every Tuesday, I have honest conversations with our dynamite guests, celebrating the creative ways they make community in their actual lives and providing tips about how you can do the same. 

Our first episode drops next Tuesday, so make sure to hit that follow button wherever you're listening so you don't miss any of the dynamite interviews we have coming up! That's all for now. Catch you on the flippity flop. 

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Exciting changes are coming in just a few short weeks. However, this is a sort of ending. To honor what we've built over the past five years and thank our faithful listeners, I've written y'all a love letter. You know I think the world of you, so sit back and relax as I attempt to put my feelings into words.

To all my Unsuitable pals, stay tuned for what's coming up. I'm never not grateful for you. Thank you for listening, whether you are new to these parts or you've been following us for years. We truly appreciate how you've hung with us as we've grown and particularly as I've come out. You are open and curious and always prove me right when I believe the very best about you. You can follow along with what's coming up on my Instagram @ maryb.safrit, or by getting on the email list at marybsafrit.com/links. Cannot wait to share what's next for Unsuitable.

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In today's episode, you'll hear Meg and I talk about: 

• why church folks need to let go of our need to appear righteous
• refocusing how we use our privilege
• what aspiring allies to the LGBTQ+ community need to know when starting that journey, how to not pass on false gospels and despair
• and the barriers queer people face when trying to stay with Jesus

You can follow Kaleidoscope on Instagram and TikTok @kaleidoscope.usa. Check out the episode description for all the links to the amazing resources Meg talked about. You can follow Meg on Instagram @kaleidomeg

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just *gets* you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there! 

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Each chapter breaks down a common scenario, why it’s weird, and contextual options on how to respond. If you’re done accepting the same tired interactions that leave you discouraged and disempowered, head to Amazon and get your copy of The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide now! 

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In today's episode, you'll hear Henry and I talk about: 

• holding our married friends accountable
• the vulnerability of sharing our suffering 
• and tangible ways the church can show up for singles

You can follow Henry on Instagram and on Twitter @henryabuto. Be sure to check out his website, henryabuto.com.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there! 

Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite single pal--or for a treat for yourself? You're going to love our line of cheeky, empowering merch for those walking a non-traditional path. We have beanies, sweatshirts, mugs, and more with phrases like "nobody's better half, already whole" and designs you'll love to rock. Snag yours at marybsafrit.com/shop. Alright, let's dive into today's episode.

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

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In this episode, you'll hear Bridget and I talk about

• The beauty of finding and building chosen family
• The role of commitment in friendships and spiritual families
• How to have a “commitment conversation” with a friend
• All the good, beautiful, and messy meanings of pride

You can follow Bridget on Instagram and Twitter @travelingnun. Check out her writing on her website, meditationsofatravelingnun.com. Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ People Experience Harm in the Church is available wherever you buy books.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there! 

Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday fall on the same day this year. So I've created some Ash Valentine's for you to download and send to your pals. They're silly and irreverent and perfect for folks who could use a laugh this February 14. Get yours for free at marybsafrit.com/links. Alright, let's dive into today's episode

Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite single pal--or for a treat for yourself? You're going to love our line of cheeky, empowering merch for those walking a non-traditional path. We have beanies, sweatshirts, mugs, and more with phrases like "nobody's better half, already whole" and designs you'll love to rock. Snag yours at marybsafrit.com/shop. Alright, let's dive into today's episode. 

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David is an author, speaker, and theologian scholar who speaks and writes on a wide range of topics including theology, desire, beauty, gender, theodicy, suffering, ethics, and sexuality. He is frequently asked to appear and speak internationally in a variety of settings including churches, academic conferences, national radio and TV including VICE Australia, and on BBC platforms such as the BBC One Documentary, Young, Gay, Christian. As a gay celibate Christian, he is seeking to be a fresh voice on the topics of love, holiness, desire and sexuality to show how people can live and flourish through Christ’s cross-shaped teaching. He is passionate about equipping the Church to better love the LGBTQI+ and other minority communities, and the art of showing solidarity to those who are different or other to us. His other interests include French, Latin, church history, writing, travel, cooking, reading books, and living in Christian community. 

In today's episode, David and I cover a LOT of ground. You'll hear us discuss: 

• the patterns of toxicity every ideology is prone to
• why we need the passionate side of love
• why singles (esp. gay celibates) get so much push back
• why church leaders need to come to terms with the social and cultural privilege they have because of marriage
• and literally so much more. 

You can follow David on Instagram and Twitter @davidacbennett. Check out more of his work at davidacbennett.com. His Book, A War of Loves, is available wherever books are sold. 

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In today’s episode, you’ll hear Matt and Anna talk about 

• the cost of touch deprivation
• Why non-sexual touch is so important
• how gender norms and sexuality play into our view of touch
• how we can move forward

Anna is a 30-something single woman with a passion for singles’ advocacy in the church. She’s the founder of an online community called The Single Hearted Life, which exists to dismantle the myths about marriage and singleness in our society to cultivate a culture where single humans can thrive. Offline, Anna is a swiftie, a Star Wars fan, and a psychology student. She lives in Boise with two roommates, a cat, and a never ending reservoir of books and feelings. You can join our community at @singleheartedlife on Instagram, or connect with Anna at @annaIPrimrose1 on Twitter.

Matt is a gay Christian who lives in Germany. He’s a church kid who grew up in a conservative non-denominational environment – so when he realized he was gay at 13, a 21-year battle began to reconcile his faith with his sexuality. On his blog, The Crossing, Matt tells the story of his religious trauma in memoir format. You can follow Matt on Instagram @mattlinden, and his blog is crossingblog.com

Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite single pal--or for a treat for yourself? You're going to love our line of cheeky, empowering merch for those walking a non-traditional path. We have beanies, sweatshirts, mugs, and more with phrases like "nobody's better half, already whole" and designs you'll love to rock. Snag yours at marybsafrit.com/shop. 

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Each chapter breaks down a common scenario, why it’s weird, and contextual options on how to respond. If you’re done accepting the same tired interactions that leave you discouraged and disempowered, head to Amazon and get your copy of The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide now! 

Have you ever wanted to start your own podcast? Podcasting is a great way to expand your reach online. Buzzsprout makes it easy to get started. If you follow the link in the show notes, you can get a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support the show. 

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In this episode, you'll hear Ekemini and I talk about: 

• the unique injustices single black women face
• how to broaden the way we think about contentment
• what healthy community in singleness looks like 
• and ways to uproot shame. 

You can follow Ekemini on Twitter @sista_theology, Instagram @sistatheology, and Facebook at facebook.com/sistatheology. Her website is sistamatictheology.com. The Truth's Table book is available wherever books are sold, and you can listen to Truth's Table and Get in the Word with Truth's Table wherever you get your podcasts.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there! 

Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday fall on the same day this year. So I've created some Ash Valentine's for you to download and send to your pals. They're silly and irreverent and perfect for folks who could use a laugh this February 14. Get yours for free at marybsafrit.com/links. 

Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite single pal--or for a treat for yourself? You're going to love our line of cheeky, empowering merch for those walking a non-traditional path. We have beanies, sweatshirts, mugs, and more with phrases like "nobody's better half, already whole" and designs you'll love to rock. Snag yours at marybsafrit.com/shop. 

Support the show

In this absolute gem of an episode, you'll hear Obi and I discuss 

• The struggle to justify the validity of art and creativity 
• The ego work every creative person must go through 
• Design as necessity
• Loosening our trust in productivity, and strengthening our trust in the process 

You can follow Obi on Instagram @obiekweokolo and on his website obiekweokolo.com

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just *gets* you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there! 

Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday fall on the same day this year. So I've created some Ash Valentine's for you to download and send to your pals. They're silly and irreverent and perfect for folks who could use a laugh this February 14. Get yours for free at marybsafrit.com/links. Alright, let's dive into today's episode

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She has written for The New Yorker, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and The New York Times on light topics such as politics, gender, and theology and has commented on faith and culture for CNN, ABC, NPR, Associated Press, Religion News Service, and the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

Katelyn enjoys exploring NYC, karaoke (post-pandemic, of course), FaceTimeing with her nephew, international travel, and starting the day with the NYT Spelling Bee. 

In this episode, you'll hear Katelyn and I discuss 

• Why we are so prone to put people on pedestals
• How we can slowly reclaim a vision of ordinary faithfulness
• The problem with singles’ events at most churches 
• The long-term impact of churches who treat their singles as an afterthought 

You can follow Katelyn on Intagram @katelyn_beaty and on Twitter @KatelynBeaty. Read more of her work at katelynbeaty.com. Celebrities for Jesus is available wherever you buy books.

Link to "In the Bleak Midwinter" by Richard Allain

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just *gets* you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there! 

Support the show

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Here’s a thing about me—I hate using the word “waiting” in conjunction with singleness. Add in “season,” and it’s barf city for me. 

And yet here we are in Advent—the season of waiting. So, we're going to talk about it.

The holidays can be a wild time. But you're not about that life. You're looking for something to help you decompress and sort through the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings so you can enjoy the holidays on your terms. I made a free guided reflection just for you. Get Single for the Holidays at the link in the episode description or at marybsafrit.com/links. Alright, let's dive into today's episode.


It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there! 

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https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/cozy-holidays

License code: AMV5F8ANCX5ZH2NB

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Never fear, pals. Here are five tips for budget-savvy Christmas shopping.
 
 The holidays can be a wild time. But you're not about that life. You're looking for something to help you decompress and sort through the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings so you can enjoy the holidays on your terms. I made a free guided reflection just for you. Get Single for the Holidays at the link in the episode description or at marybsafrit.com/links. Alright, let's dive into today's episode.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there! 
 
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/cozy-holidays

License code: AMV5F8ANCX5ZH2NB

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It’s that time of year. Things are ramping up as we barrel toward the end of 2023. The holidays, with all they entail, are upon us. The family centricity of our culture dials up to 11. Commercials for the perfect gift for that special someone run 24/7.

Regardless of our exact situation, there isn’t a lot of messaging that says, “Isn’t it great to be single right now?” So here I am, your friendly neighborhood singleness podcaster and writer, chiming in to help you appreciate the holiday season on your terms.

This mini-season is all about navigating the holidays as a person who happens to be single. Make sure you're following on your favorite podcast app so you don't miss a thing! 

Check out my free download, Single for the Holidays, available at the link in the episode description or at marybsafrit.com/links

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/cozy-holidays

License code: AMV5F8ANCX5ZH2NB

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You can follow Single Friendly Church on Instagram @singlefriendlychurch. Check out their resources at singlefriendlychurch.com. 

This clip was originally part of the Patreon version of the Season 10 episode called "Finding and Cultivating a Single-Friendly Church" For as little as $5/month, you can get access to the full interview version of each episode, first dibs on new resources, plus a community that gets you. Head over to patreon.com/unsuitable, choose which tier works best for you, then join. Can't wait to see you there! 

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You can visit Mel's website www.iykykdating.com and follow her on Instagram @ Iykyk.dating.

This clip was originally part of the Patreon version of the Season 10 episode called "Dating 101 for Single Christians." For as little as $5/month, you can get access to the full interview version of each episode, first dibs on new resources, plus a community that gets you. Head over to patreon.com/unsuitable, choose which tier works best for you, then join. Can't wait to see you there! 

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In case you missed it, we're launching a line of cheeky merch October 31. Stay in the know by getting on the email list at marybsafrit.com/links. If you join before October 27, you'll be part of the crew that gets access to our soft launch. Get on the list at marybsafrit.com/links.You can read more of Anna's work at annabroadway.com.

This clip was originally part of the Patreon version of the Season 10 episode called "Milestones Singles Can (and Should) Celebrate." For as little as $5/month, you can get access to the full interview version of each episode, first dibs on new resources, plus a community that gets you. Head over to patreon.com/unsuitable, choose which tier works best for you, then join. Can't wait to see you there! 

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• The link between body positivity and sex positivity—and the path towards both 
• The power of knowing yourself and loving yourself
• The orgasm gap
• And reinterpreting scripture—aka Ruth, Tamar, and the Song of Solomon

Lyvonne Briggs, MDiv, ThM, an Emmy Award winner, is a body- and sex-positive womanist preacher and speaker. She is the host of Sensual Faith Podcast and the author of Sensual Faith: The Art of Coming Home to Your Body (Convergent/Penguin Random House out March '23). She is the co-host of Sanctified, a faith-based, Spotify-exclusive podcast on Jemele Hill’s Unbothered Network. A spiritual life coach and TEDx speaker, she has been featured in Essence, Cosmopolitan, Rolling Stone, and The Washington Post, and Sojourners named her one of "11 Women Shaping the Church.” Briggs is a graduate of The Lawrenceville School, Seton Hall University, Yale Divinity School, and Columbia Theological Seminary. A New York City native, she is currently based in New Orleans, LA. 

You can follow Lyvonne across platforms: @LyvonneBriggs. Her podcast, Sensual Faith, is available wherever you listen. You can buy her book, Sensual Faith, wherever you buy books and go ahead and rate and review! All of her cashapp, venmo, etc. info are all in the episode description and we would love you to help us support Lyvonne. 

Ways to support Lyvonne, from Lyvonne: Invite me to your organization to come speak, teach, or preach!

Order your copy of “Sensual Faith!” visit 

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706280/sensual-faith-by-lyvonne-briggs/

Leave a comment and 5-star review on Amazon!

For Sensual Faith Podcast supplemental materials, visit patreon.com/lyvonnebriggs (aka Sensual Faith Academy) and join the tier that’s right for you! The Sensual Faith tier supports the podcast and the Lavish Love tier supports the podcast *and* grants you access to bonus content (like book studies, audioessays, tarot/oracle card readings, behind the scenes footage, exclusive sneak peeks, and more!).

Other ways to support Lyvonne and her work:

Cash App: $PastorBae

Venmo: @LyvonneBriggs

Zelle: Lyvonne.Briggs@gmail.com

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just gets you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details. 

Liquid I.V. is the category-winning hydration brand fueling your well-being, and their Hydration Multiplier

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• The link between grief and hospitality 
• The secret behind our 3 am come to Jesus moments 
• The spiritual dimensions of food 
• Grief, food, and other distractions: how to navigate healthy coping mechanisms
• Social reentry through food: connecting with others in our grief 
• Who our “stretcher people” are—and how to find them 

A divorce survivor and late-in-life thriver, Carole welcomed a new adventure as an "Accidental Author" with her debut book, "I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore."

Exploring the intersection of grief and faith, Carole wonders aloud about whether this "God-Man, Jesus," remains relevant when loss, disappointment and heartache arrive unannounced. After a long list of careers (including owning a "rose-covered cottage cooking school," ) Carole enjoys writing into retirement with the adulations of nine grandchildren who still think she's really cool. She would heartily request that you not inform them otherwise.

You can follow Carole on Instagram @caroleholiday. Get in touch with her by visiting her website, 

caroleholiday.com. Her book, I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore, is available wherever you buy books. 

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just gets you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details. 

Liquid I.V. is the category-winning hydration brand fueling your well-being, and their Hydration Multiplier is the one product you’re missing in your daily routine. Get 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV DOT COM and use code UNSUITABLE at checkout. That’s 20% off ANYTHING you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code UNSUITABLE at LIQUID IV DOT COM. Alright, now let's dive into today's episode! 

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

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• The God moment / Carrie Bradshaw moment that turned Katie towards her calling 
• How to invest in and bet on yourself—even on a budget (read: student loans!)
• All things creative entrepreneurship: how to take your ideas seriously, create a plan, and build sustainably 
• And so much more!

Katie Ellis is the Ceramicist & Founder of Dear Gloria. Katie has worked in ceramics for the last 20 years in various capacities from teaching, to working for other artists, to creating her own work. In 2020, with a renewed appreciation for creating a sense of home and permanence in New York City during the pandemic, she started Dear Gloria, a business centered on all things handmade for the home made by NYC artists. A natural connector and curator, Dear Gloria brings together her love for making functional dishes for the home and her natural affinity for connecting people to each other and artists to new audiences. 

Katie holds a B.A. in Art, Business, and Community Development from Covenant College on Lookout Mountain, Georgia, and an M.S. in Arts and Cultural Management from Pratt Institute in New York City. 

You can follow @deargloria.home on Instagram for updates on markets, events, and the upcoming launch of their online shop in November. 

Podcasting is a great way to connect with your audience and get your message out to the world. But it can be overwhelming to start and sustain one. I've been running this podcast for the past 5 years, and I’m here to help you strategically launch your podcast and create a sustainable system that works for you. Sign up for your free thirty-minute intro call by filling out the interest form at marybsafrit.com/coaching. Alright, let's get to today's episode. 

If you're ready to look totally hot online -- plus, like, show up as the expert you are and all that -- I challenge you to find faster, more affordable, custom branding strategically designed by a professional. Stand out with branding that actually represents the magic of what you do and get a Tiny Brand! We at Unsuitable used Karla for our upcoming rebrand in September and I have to tell you she nailed it. Not only was she super fun to work with, we were over the moon with how perfectly she captured our brand. It feels exactly like us and we can't wait to share it with you. 

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just *gets* you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details. 

Liquid I.V. is the category-winning hydration brand fueling your well-being, and their Hydration Multiplier is the one product you’re missing in your daily routine. Get 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV DOT COM and use code UNSUITABLE at checkout. That’s 20% off ANYTHING you order when you shop

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• How spiritual formation impacts political engagement—and why this is gets more human, accessible, and impactful on the local level. 
• Why self-sufficiency is a myth--for individuals and families and all people. 
• The ways collective engagement beats isolation, even within family units. 
• And why reciprocity is crucial within church communities, especially across diverse backgrounds and life stages.  
• Before we dive in, give me 15 seconds to tell you about how you can get your hands on some fun podcast bonuses. 

Kaitlyn Schiess is a writer, speaker, and theologian. She is the author of The Liturgy of Politics: Spiritual Formation for the Sake of Our Neighbor and is a regular cohost on the Holy Post podcast. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, Christianity Today, Christ and Pop Culture, Relevant, and Sojourners. She has a Masters of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminare and is currently a doctoral student in political theology at Duke Divinity School. She lives in Durham, North Carolina. 

You can follow Kaitlyn on Instagram and Twitter @kaitlynschiess. Snag your copy of her book, The Ballot and The Bible, wherever you buy books--and make sure to rate and review! 

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

 Liquid I.V. is the category-winning hydration brand fueling your well-being, and their Hydration Multiplier is the one product you’re missing in your daily routine. I love using Liquid I.V. regularly and when feeling extra parched, brain foggy, or under the weather. It's seriously a life saver when it comes to recovery. I just mix a stick of it into some water, my favorite flavor is Lemon Lime, by the way, and I feel more refreshed and rejuvenated. One stick of Liquid I.V. in 16 ounces of water hydrates you 2x faster and more efficiently than water alone. Get 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV DOT COM and use code UNSUITABLE at checkout. That’s 20% off ANYTHING you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code UNSUITABLE at LIQUID IV DOT COM. 

Podcasting is a great way to connect with your audience and get your message out to the world. But it can be overwhelming to start and sustain one. I've been running this podcast for the past 5 years, and I’m here to help you strategically launch your podcast and create a sustainable system that works for you. Sign up for your free thirty-minute intro call by filling out the interest form at marybsafrit.com/coaching.

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• Identifying the pain points of exclusion—and how to get serious about including and being led by singles in the church. 
• Barriers to single leadership—unpacking the biases, assumptions, and misunderstandings about singles. 
• The lonely church: why we need to deliberately create an atmosphere of kindness, connecting people, saying hello and then some. 

Beth is a passionate advocate for inclusion within the church community. As the Communications Director at UK-based charity Single Friendly Church, Beth works tirelessly to create welcoming spaces where single individuals of all backgrounds are valued and embraced. With a heart that beats for unity, she’s dedicated to breaking barriers and ensuring every church becomes a place of belonging. 

You can follow Single Friendly Church on Instagram @singlefriendlychurch. Check out their resources at singlefriendlychurch.com. 

"God told me we should go out." This is one of the many sayings complicating Christian Dating Culture. That's why Landen Swain wrote the best-seller Detox Christian Dating, which gets down into the nitty-gritty of what actually makes dating as a Christian complicated and provides insight on how to make Christian Dating Culture healthier. Order Detox Christian Dating on Amazon today. 

Liquid I.V. is the category-winning hydration brand fueling your well-being, and their Hydration Multiplier is the one product you’re missing in your daily routine. I love using Liquid I.V. regularly and when feeling extra parched, brain foggy, or under the weather. It's seriously a lifesaver when it comes to recovery. I just mix a stick of it into some water, My favorite flavor is Lemon Lime, by the way, and I feel more refreshed and rejuvenated. One stick of Liquid I.V. in 16 ounces of water hydrates you 2x faster and more efficiently than water alone. Get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code UNSUITABLE at checkout. That’s 20% off ANYTHING you order when you shop for better hydration today using promo code UNSUITABLE at LIQUIDIV.com.

This episode is jam-packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

Support the show

• Expanding coming-of-age rituals beyond graduation and marriage. 
• Marking a moment and remembering God's faithfulness. 
• How to celebrate the moments that might feel small. 
• And cultivating your own practice of celebrating. 

Anna has written for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, TheAtlantic.com, Christianity Today and other publications. She is the author of the forthcoming book Solo Planet: How Singles Help the Church Recover Our calling, due out from NavPress. She's also written Sexless in the City: A Memoir of Reluctant Chastity and contributed to the books Venus and Virtue, Disquiet Time, Talking Taboo, and Faith at the Edge. She holds an MA in religious studies from Arizona State University. 

You can read more of Anna's work at annabroadway.com. Add Solo Planet to your "To Read" list on Goodreads. You can follow Anna's author page on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/anna.broadway

Podcasting is a great way to connect with your audience and get your message out to the world. But it can be overwhelming to start and sustain one. I've been running this podcast for the past 5 years, and I’m here to help you strategically launch your podcast and create a sustainable system that works for you. Sign up for your free thirty-minute intro call by filling out the interest form at marybsafrit.com/coaching. Alright, let's get to today's episode. 

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just gets you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details. 

"God told me we should go out." This is one of the many sayings complicating Christian Dating Culture. That's why Landen Swain wrote the best-seller Detox Christian Dating, which gets down into the nitty-gritty of what actually makes dating as a Christian complicated and provides insight on how to make Christian Dating Culture healthier. Order Detox Christian Dating on Amazon today. 

Support the show

• The importance of finding spaces where you don't need to explain your identity to people
• Why everyone should be doing identity development work
• The ‘second puberty’ of coming out as an adult 
• How to find *your* people within the queer community
• All things self compassion, grace, and time when it comes to coming out later in life

Moriah is a therapist-in-training who specializes in working with the LGBTQIA+ community, especially in the areas of trauma, identity development, and identity integration. She utilizes a relational psychodynamic approach to therapy, along with feminist psychology and LGBTQIA+ affirming psychology. She is a psych assistant at Woven Trauma Therapy. 

You can follow Moriah on Instagram @mconantpsychology. 

If you're ready to look totally hot online -- plus, like, show up as the expert you are and all that -- I challenge you to find faster, more affordable, custom branding strategically designed by a professional. Stand out with branding that actually represents the magic of what you do and get a Tiny Brand! We at Unsuitable used Karla for our upcoming rebrand in September and I have to tell you she nailed it. Not only was she super fun to work with, we were over the moon with how perfectly she captured our brand. It feels exactly like us and we can't wait to share it with you. 

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just *gets* you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details. 

Affiliate link: https://marybsafrit--theinspiredfoundry.thrivecart.com/your-tiny-brand-and-logos/

Podcasting is a great way to connect with your audience and get your message out to the world. But it can be overwhelming to start and sustain one. I've been running this podcast for the past 5 years, and I’m here to help you strategically launch your podcast and create a sustainable system that works for you. Sign up for your free thirty-minute intro call by filling out the interest form at marybsafrit.com/coaching. Alright, let's get to today's episode. 

Liquid I.V. is the category-winning hydration brand fueling your well-being, and their Hydration Multiplier is the one product you’re missing in your daily routine. Get 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV DOT COM and use code UNSUITABLE at checkout. That’s 20% off ANYTHING you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code UNSUITABLE at LIQUID IV DOT COM. Alright, now let's dive into today's episode! 

Support the show

• How to cultivate a growth mindset in dating
• The ingredients of a fun mixer for single Christians
• The secrets for maintaining hopefulness in dating
• And how to use dating apps (yep, we think Christians should use them).

Mel is the founder and owner of IYKYK Dating, a Christian dating coach, and runs a singles community with over 5000 members across the USA. Her own dating struggles led her to develop a strong understanding of the dynamics of healthy dating relationships, including the art of attraction, the importance of embracing femininity, setting boundaries, and allowing men to take the lead. Mel runs Online Dating Workshops for women who feel anxious in dating and relationships. 

You can visit Mel's website www.iykykdating.com and follow her on Instagram @ Iykyk.dating. Mel's offering listeners 50% off her upcoming dating workshop by following the link in the episode description and using code MARYB. You can also find the link to join Mel's free Facebook Group for single Christians in the episode description.  

Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.)

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

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• The hard, beautiful work of learning to show up authentically
• Letting go of "ideal" and/or fake versions of ourselves
• Why emotions are indicators, not dictators 
• How our relationships are impacted by emotional health

Vernique is an Atlanta-based therapist and coach who specializes in Relational Trauma and Healthy Relationships. She is the Author of When Seasons Change: A Divorce Recovery Interactive Devotional, Speaker, and founder of Authentically Wed— a faith-based community for all relationship statuses

Vernique believes the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life, and uses her workshops, courses, and community programs such as Journal Club, to help people become healed and whole individuals that can create healthy and fulfilling relationships. She especially enjoys partnering with High-achieving women who have trouble managing their various responsibilities, causing anxiety in their lives. 

She also works as a Corporate Well-being Consultant in assisting employees and leaders in making the workplace more emotionally and mentally safe.

You can follow Vernique on all social media @verniqueesther, and check out her other offerings at verniqueesther.com

Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.)

/This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community Get the full episode and be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Each chapter breaks down a common scenario, why it’s weird, and contextual options on how to respond. If you’re done accepting the same tired interactions that leave you discouraged and disempowered, head to Amazon and get your copy of The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide now! 

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• Strange blessings for life's impossible moments
• What the Beatitudes have to say to single folks
• The power of finding joy in our right-now lives
• And finding belonging when the church doesn't know what to do with you. 

Jason is the founder and lead pastor of South Bend City Church, an eclectic Christian community known for its thoughtful teaching, inclusive vision, and commitment to its city context. An advocate for artists and peacemakers, his work beyond South Bend focuses on cultural headwaters and conflict zones, where he serves an international constituency of leaders. He holds a master’s degree in theology from the University of Notre Dame. He is the author of When the World Breaks: The Surprising Hope and Subversive Promises in the Teachings of Jesus. 

You can follow Jason on Instagram @jasonadammiller and check out more of his work at jasonadammiller.com. When the World Breaks, is available wherever you buy books. 

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.)

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

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• How to get the most out of therapy
• What happens when we use therapy as a dress rehearsal for our life
• How to practice addressing conflict with your therapist 
• The key ingredients for therapy and growth

Nathaniel is a licensed marriage and family therapist, group facilitator, writer & wellness advocate based in New York City. He has five years of combined clinical training and experience working with individuals, couples and families in child welfare, juvenile justice and private practice settings. As the owner of Intentions for Wellness Marriage & Family Therapy PLLC, Nathaniel helps his clients cultivate emotional, relational and spiritual wellbeing rooted in and enriched by faith in Jesus Christ. 

You can follow Nate on Instagram @_natecultivates and check out the Tristate Abstinence Crew on Instagram @tac_lgw. If you're interested in working with Nate, you can search for him on zencare.co

Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.)

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

Support the show

• Inviting vulnerability in a safe way in singleness.
• How to combat cultural expectations of instant gratification when it comes to our spiritual interior 
• How to hold space for spiritual exploration 
• And questions to ask yourself when exploring a feeling, experience, or something new.  

Audre is a trauma-informed certified spiritual director. She has been a soul companion for over 20 years. Her certification is through the Companioning Center. Audre holds a BA of Religion with an emphasis in Biblical and Theological Studies. She is a Hope*Writer and a Sayge Link Member. She is a podcaster on The Spacious and the Sacred, with fellow spiritual directors Irene Dunlop, Heather Fignar and Andi Chatburn.

Audre specializes in working with people who are isolated, and lonely from the effects of shame and trauma. She holds space for individuals and groups who are discovering and questioning their inner goodness. Audre embraces all communities including those that are neurodiverse, LGBTQ+, or spiritually diverse as they seek to find wholeness and freedom.

You can join one of Audre's groups or sign up for spiritual direction at saturatedgrace.com. She's on facebook @audrerickard1 and Instagram @audrerickard 

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.)

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

Support the show

Today you'll hear Rachael and I talk about 

• Finding creative freedom and empowerment through solo travel
• How to budget and prioritize for the kind of travel *you* want
• A masterclass on decision-making when it comes to travel
• And how to be mindful about safety, culture, and respect when traveling. 

You can follow Rachael on Instagram @lifewithrach_k and be sure to check out her blog, lifewithrk.com

You can also check out Rachael's Blog on solo travel here

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

Have you ever wanted to start your own podcast? Podcasting is a great way to expand your reach online. Buzzsprout makes it easy to get started. If you follow the link in the show notes, you can get a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support the show. 

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• how we singles tend to overexert ourselves to prove our value to the church
• the social privilege of marriage and how not having it empowers us to rely on the sufficiency of the gospel
• how to really become part of each other's lives
• and a bonus Q & A segment! 

Today, you're getting a special between-the-seasons treat. A few weeks back, our producer Ashley and I sat down in my apartment with a small crew and recorded our first-ever live episode. Ashley's edited that audio, and we are sharing it with you today! 

You can follow me on Instagram and TikTok @ maryb.safrit, and follow the podcast on Instagram @unsuiablepodcast so you don't miss any updates and highlights. 

If you love our episodes, did you know you can get ad-free extended cuts of every episode? For the live show, this means Patreon listeners get THE FULL EXPERIENCE! Paid listeners also get to hear a sneak peak about the next season, and how we're thinking about creating community through a podcast. Join us over at patreon.com/unsuitable for as little as $5/month

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In this episode, Jason and I cover: 

• navigating relational boundaries as a single pastor
• what we miss when we require pastors to be married
• how our assumptions create barriers in our friendships
• and why equating marriage with righteousness doesn't work

Jason Adam Miller is the founder and lead pastor of South Bend City Church, an eclectic Christian community known for its thoughtful teaching, inclusive vision, and commitment to its city context. An advocate for artists and peacemakers, his work beyond South Bend focuses on cultural headwaters and conflict zones, where he serves an international constituency of leaders. He holds a master’s degree in theology from the University of Notre Dame.

You can follow Jason on Instagram @jasonadammiller, or head to his website jasonadammiller.com. If you want to hear more from South Bend City Church, check out their podcast wherever you listen. 

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

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We hope you loved this season's guests as much as we do. One of my favorite things about hosting this podcast is getting to introduce you to single Christians I think the world of. Fangirling them to you is simply the best. These conversations are designed to broaden the conversation on singleness. We also want them to help expand our collective imagination of what is possible for the single life. When it comes to the murky path of deconstructing purity culture and moving into a better vision of what it might look like to embrace our sexuality as single Christians, we think this season's guests make for excellent companions. 

The best way to make sure you don't miss anything, like the surprises we have lined up for between the seasons, is to subscribe to my email list, which you can do at marybsafrit.com/link, and follow us on the 'gram. 

You can follow me on Instagram and TikTok @ maryb.safrit, and follow the podcast on Instagram @unsuitablepodcast so you don't miss any updates and highlights. 

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• the patterns of toxicity every ideology is prone to
• why we need the passionate side of love
• why singles (esp. gay celibates) get so much push back
• why church leaders need to come to terms with the social 
• and cultural privilege they have because of marriage, and literally so much more

David Bennett is originally from Sydney, Australia and is an Oxford doctoral student, scholar, and theologian. David is also the author of the book A War of Loves where he tell his story of being a gay activist and his story of wrestling to come to faith in Jesus in a dramatic way. 

You can follow David on Instagram and Twitter @davidacbennett. Check out more of his work at davidacbennett.com. His Book, A War of Loves, is available wherever books are sold. 

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

There are more than a few blogs on the interwebs giving tips on how singles can survive weddings. If you’re like me, you don’t just want someone to tell you what to do. You want something personalized and nuanced. That’s why I’ve created My Friend’s Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians. 

This free download empowers you to prayerfully wade through your feelings and brainstorm some strategies for how you’d like to respond to them. Get your free copy at marybsafrit.com/links. 

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• learning the language of our sexuality 
• worshipping and celebrating God in spirit and in truth
• exploring the bravery of vulnerability
• and the beauty of the Black queer community.

Zachary Gillis, born and raised in Northwest Indiana in the cities of Gary, Hammond, and Merrillville, has been proud to call South Bend home since 2009. After graduating from Bethel University (IN), formerly Bethel College, Zach diligently served in Bethel’s Offices of Student Development and Diversity & Inclusion while garnering his master’s degree in Intercultural Leadership from Goshen College in Goshen, IN. Zach joined the South Bend City Church Team in September 2018 and is so grateful to be at a place where he can live out his passions exactly as who God made him to be. In addition to being on the pastoral staff at SBCC in Pastoral Care and Worship & Arts, Zach is also the Choir Director at La Lumiere School in LaPorte, IN and the proud fur dad of two adorable Chihuahuas, Nemo and Topher. 

You can follow Zach on Instagram and Twitter @mistagillis. 

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

There are more than a few blogs on the interwebs giving tips on how singles can survive weddings. If you’re like me, you don’t just want someone to tell you what to do. You want something personalized and nuanced. That’s why I’ve created My Friend’s Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians. 

This free download empowers you to prayerfully wade through your feelings and brainstorm some strategies for how you’d like to respond to them. Get your free copy at marybsafrit.com/links. 

Support the show

• why church folks need to let go of our need to appear righteous
• refocusing how we use our privilege
• what aspiring allies to the LGBTQ+ community need to know when starting that journey
• how to not pass on false gospels and despair
• and the barriers queer people face when trying to stay with Jesus

Meg Baatz is the co-founder of Kaleidoscope, a New York–based organization helping provide LGBTQ+ people with tangible expressions of Jesus. Meg is a bridge-builder and ministry educator whose desire is to see people grow personally and engage locally in diverse communities – particularly at the intersection of sexuality, gender, and spiritual life with Jesus. Prior to launching Kaleidoscope, Meg spent 6 years educating ministry leaders on enhancing LGBTQ+ inclusion and care. Meg holds a degree in Social Work from Colorado State University.

You can follow Kaleidoscope on Instagram and TikTok @kaleidoscope.usa. Check out the all the links to the amazing resources Meg talked about and that coupon code. You can follow Meg on Instagram @megbaatz/@kaleidomeg 

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

We Don't Want The Bouquet is a guide designed to help single Christians survive wedding season. It’s short. It’s snappy. And most importantly, it means you don’t have to walk through all this alone.

If you’re a single Christian tired of plodding through wedding prep all by your onesie, this guide is for you. Head to marybsafrit.com/shop and get your copy today.

This is for any ministry leaders and/or their colleagues or spouses. For this podcast’s listeners, we’ll offer $30 off coupon UNSUITABLE to save on your registration. https://kaleidoscopeusa.regfox.com/safe-pastor-i

Understanding My Story PDF
kaleidoscopeusa.org/storypdf

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• the unique kind of intimacy that's only possible in friendship
• what the Bible can teach us about affection in friendships (hint: it’s WAY MORE than you think)
• why purity culture is the antithesis of the gospel
• and learning healthy dynamics in our spiritual families

Sam Allberry is a pastor based at Immanuel Nashville, as well as the author of several books. He is a Fellow at the Keller Center for Cultural Apologetics and a Canon Theologian for the Anglican Church in North America.

You can follow Sam on Instagram and Twitter @samallberry. His books The 7 Myths About Singleness and Is God Anti-Gay? are available wherever you buy books. 

Thank you to Kayla and Lisa who recently joined our community. Y'all rock so hard, and we love having you as part of our community. If you're interested in bonuses such as early access to our ad-free, full interviews, you, too, can join our Patreon for as little as $5/month. Head to patreon.com/unsuitable. We can't wait to see you there! 

Have you ever wanted to start your own podcast? Podcasting is a great way to expand your reach online. Buzzsprout makes it easy to get started. If you follow the link in the show notes, you can get a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support the show. 

We Don't Want The Bouquet is a guide designed to help single Christians survive wedding season. It’s short. It’s snappy. And most importantly, it means you don’t have to walk through all this alone.

If you’re a single Christian tired of plodding through wedding prep all by your onesie, this guide is for you. Head to marybsafrit.com/shop and get your copy today. 

Support the show

• the difference between pursuing good and avoiding bad
• why consent is the floor, not the bar, when it comes to good sex
• our struggle to use moral language to describe sex
• and how social inequities can make consent complicated

Christine Emba is the author of Rethinking Sex: A Provocation, as well as an opinion columnist and editor at The Washington Post where she writes about ideas and society.  Before joining the Post in 2015, Christine was the Hilton Kramer Fellow in Criticism at the New Criterion and a deputy editor at the Economist Intelligence Unit, focusing on technology and innovation. 

You can follow Christine on Twitter and Instagram @christineemba. Sign up for her email list at christineemba.substack.com. You can read her writing in The Washington Post. Rethinking Sex is available wherever you buy books. 

We Don't Want The Bouquet is a guide designed to help single Christians survive wedding season. It’s loaded with tips and reflective questions that will walk you through things— before, during, and after. It’s short. It’s snappy. And most importantly, it means you don’t have to walk through all this alone.If you’re a single Christian tired of plodding through wedding prep all by your onesie, this guide is for you. We Don't Want The Bouquet releases on Amazon this week! Snag your copy starting April 12.

There are more than a few blogs on the interwebs giving tips on how singles can survive weddings. If you’re like me, you don’t just want someone to tell you what to do. You want something personalized and nuanced. That’s why I’ve created My Friend’s Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians. 

This free download empowers you to prayerfully wade through your feelings and brainstorm some strategies for how you’d like to respond to them. Get your free copy at marybsafrit.com/links. 

Have you ever wanted to start your own podcast? Podcasting is a great way to expand your reach online. Buzzsprout makes it easy to get started. If you follow the link in the show notes, you can get a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support the show. 

Support the show

• what led her to question the sexual script she'd learned in purity culture
• how she moved from shame and fear into freedom
• the difference between the desire for sex and sexual desire
• and what to do with our sexual desire as people who are single

Kat Harris is the host of The Refined Collective Podcast, author of Sexless in the City, and Founder of the online platform The Refined Woman. She has also been a full-time photographer for over a decade with her work featured in: The New York Times, WWD, Vanity Fair, GQ, Forbes, People, Who What Wear, US Weekly, Glamour UK and more.

We recorded this episode back in 2021, but the content is truly evergreen.

You can follow Kat on Instagram @therefinedwoman and @therefinedcollective. Check out her podcast, The Refined Collective, wherever you listen. Sexless in the City is available wherever you buy books. And you can check out her many resources on her website, therefinedwoman.com. 

Weddings can bring up all sorts of feelings for us single folks. If you have a friend getting married soon, head to marybsafrit.com and get your free copy of "My Friend's Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians.

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• about why we need to reckon with our idolatry of marriage
• how we can build community and family as singles
• why kids and parents need a comprehensive understanding of sexual stewardship beyond the birds and the bees talk many of us received
• and ways single parents can ask for help with hard conversations

Amber is the Vice President of Impact and Parent Resources at Equip, the premier consulting and training solution for churches seeking to become places where LGBT+ Christians thrive for a lifetime according to a historic Christian sexual ethic. She teaches parents how to have compassionate, theologically accurate, and age-appropriate conversations about sexual stewardship with their young kids.

You can follow Amber on Facebook and Instagram @ambergarrettcarroll. For the resource list Amber mentioned or any other inquiries, DM her or reach out via email to amber@equipyourcommunity.org. Equip's Parent Course is available at equipyourcommunity.org/parentcourse. 

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

Support the show

• The people, communities, and universes we miss out on when we enforce purity culture
• Purity culture throughout the years—and its impact in high school, college, young adulthood, and beyond 
• Abandoning the controlling nature of purity culture by releasing and letting go of control 
• The macro and micro decisions, choices, and responsibilities we get to exercise as part of our freedom and agency 
• Surrendering to the power and unexpected encounters and nudges of the Holy Spirit

Benaiah Brown is a Spirit-filled entrepreneur and alternative therapist from Fort Worth, TX with an MBA from Acton School of Business. He practices RFR, a naturopathic process that uses remote muscle testing to find and release subconscious blocks to health and success, including beliefs, trauma, spiritual problems, and nutritional issues. In his spare time he drinks coffee, eats red meat, and makes videos of his chickens. 

Originally from Kenya and currently based in Fort Worth, Texas, Henry Abuto is a Christian man who writes on Faith, Friendships, Sexuality, Race, Jesus, and a host of other topics. He loves hosting dinner parties, running, live music, deep friendships, red wine, Beyonce, and all things Texas.

You can follow Benaiah on Instagram @benaiah.brown and learn more about his work at benaiahbrown.com. Henry is on Instagram @bywasanga and on Twitter @henryabuto. Be sure to check out his website, henryabuto.com. 

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Let’s face it. Singles experience a lot of weird situations in the church. From the unwanted advice about our relationship status to the unspoken pressures of singleness, it can feel like no one knows what to do with us. These experiences are so common, we might start to wonder if we’re the weird ones. Head to Amazon and get your copy now! 

Support the show

• how modern context twists the intended message of Scripture
• who gets forgiveness
• the social forces that created and perpetuated purity culture
• and ways to shape our culture and society in a healthier direction

Bridget provides support to churches and ministries seeking to improve their relationship with the LGBTQ community. A leading voice on gay celibacy in the church, Bridget helps Christians better grapple with gender and sexuality in a divided culture. She has worked with a number of faith-based organizations, including Revoice, Christians for Social Action, and Preston Sprinkle's Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender, where she contributed to the Digital Leaders Forum. The recipient of multiple fellowship awards, she is completing her PhD in sociology at the CUNY Graduate Center and serves as an adjunct professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. Her first book, Heavy Burdens (Brazos Press 2022), was a Foreword INDIES 2022 Finalist in religion.

*As a heads up, Bridget and I talk quite a bit about sexual assault and abuse, and predatory behavior. It starts around the 20-minute mark. If that will be triggering for you, please take care whilst listening.* 

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

You can follow Bridget on Instagram and Twitter @travelingnun. Check out her writing on her website, meditationsofatravelingnun.com. Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ People Experience Harm in the Church is available wherever you buy books. 

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• why generosity feels terrifying—but is actually the thing that will free us 
• why survivors of purity culture must rebuild trust with self
• the unique shame those of us with little to no sexual experience might have and how to move through it
• and the importance of letting ourselves make mistakes

Matthias Roberts (he/him) is a queer psychotherapist, podcaster, and author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms. He hosts Queerology: A Podcast on Belief and Being and co-hosts Selfie alongside fellow therapist Kristen Howerton. Matthias holds two master’s degrees, one in Theology & Culture and one in Counseling Psychology from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology.

Matthias’ work has been featured by O: The Oprah Magazine, Bustle, Woman’s Day, Sojourners, The Seattle Times, and many others. He is a Fellow at the Allender Center, a nonprofit helping survivors of trauma and abuse heal by stepping courageously into their stories of pain and harm. In his psychotherapy practice, Matthias specializes in helping LGBTQ+ people recover from religious and spiritual trauma so they might live confident and fulfilling lives. He writes and speaks nationwide about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology. 

You can follow Matthias on Twitter and Instagram @matthiasroberts. Listen to Queerology and Selfie wherever you get your podcasts. You can pre-order his upcoming book, Holy Runaways, wherever you buy books. 

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

If you're a fan of the podcast, please like, rate, and review! 

Support the show

• what bread can teach us about unmet longing
• the struggle to capture and communicate the single experience
• the connection between diet culture and purity culture
• And what it looks like to let God meet our needs in unexpected ways

Today you get to hear from a guest who was on our podcast back in season 5. We are so pumped to have Kendall Vanderslice back in the house. Kendall is a baker, writer, and speaker, as well as the founder of the Edible Theology Project, a ministry that connects the Communion table to the kitchen table. She is a graduate of Wheaton College (BA Anthropology), Boston University (MLA Gastronomy), and Duke Divinity School (Master of Theological Studies). Her bylines include Christianity Today, Bitter Southerner, Christian Century, Religion News Service, and Faith & Leadership, as well as her book We Will Feast (Eerdmans 2019). Kendall lives in Durham, North Carolina, with her big-eared beagle named Strudel, where she teaches workshops on bread baking as a spiritual practice. 

You can follow Kendall on Instagram @knvslice and @edibletheologyproject. Visit her online at www.kendallvanderslice.com. By Bread Alone is available today wherever you buy books. You can listen to her podcast, Kitchen Meditations, wherever you get your podcasts. 

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Let’s face it. Singles experience a lot of weird situations in the church. From the unwanted advice about our relationship status to the unspoken pressures of singleness, it can feel like no one knows what to do with us. These experiences are so common, we might start to wonder if we’re the weird ones. Head to Amazon and get your copy now! 

If you're a fan of the podcast, please like, rate, and review! 

Support the show

• how to let our beliefs and desires evolve
• how purity culture still affects the way we treat singles
• the power of challenging gender roles and learning to take up space
• and why we need to give ourselves room to get things wrong

As a heads up, this week's episode contains a brief description of sexual violence around the 10-and-a-half-minute mark. Kelly gives a trigger warning before getting into it, but take care listening if that will be distressing for you to hear. 

Kelly is a 35-year-old, consciously uncoupled (single), lifelong Texan. She is passionate about public ministry through social media and through her website, LetItMatter.com. Kelly is the creator, producer, and host of the Let It Matter Podcast, which seeks to make space for, honor, and name what matters — including everything from the Church, the Bible, faith, & theology to mental health to sex & sexuality to issues of social justice. She was also a guest cohost on the Where Do We Go From Here? podcast from July-December 2022. Kelly has been featured on several podcasts, including Interfaith Voices, as well as print media articles (WORLD Magazine, Christianity Today, and USA Today) around the topics of single adulthood, dating, and sexuality.

You can follow Kelly on Twitter and Instagram @kellykwolfe. Her podcast, Let It Matter is available wherever you listen and you can follow that account on Twitter @letitmatterpod and Instagram @letitmatterpodcast. Learn more at Letitmatterpodcast.com and Letitmatter.com

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Let’s face it. Singles experience a lot of weird situations in the church. From the unwanted advice about our relationship status to the unspoken pressures of singleness, it can feel like no one knows what to do with us. These experiences are so common, we might start to wonder if we’re the weird ones. Head to Amazon and get your copy now!

If you're a fan of the podcast, please like, rate, and review! 

Support the show

We have a dynamite season lined up for you, and we want you to be part of it! Make sure you're following me and the podcast on Instagram. I'm at maryb.safrit, and the podcast is at unsuitablepodcast. Come join us over at patreon.com/unsuitable. 

Episode 1 drops on February 21, we can't wait for you to hear it!

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• how writing builds empathy
• what it means to embody our faith
• and the power of being honest with yourself

Dr. Alysia Nicole Harris is an award-winning poet and spoken-word artist, an educator, and a linguist. In 2008 she featured on the HBO documentary: Brave New Voices where she wowed audiences with her piece "That Girl". In 2010 Alysia graduated UPENN Summa Cum Laude with honors and was also inducted into the Phi Beta Kappa honor society. Alysia received her MFA in poetry from NYU in 2014 and her PhD in linguistics from Yale University in 2019. Alysia was also a founding member of the internationally known performance poetry collective, The Strivers Row and has garnered over 5 million views on YouTUBE. She has toured nationally for the last 10 years and also performed at the United Nations and the US Embassies in Jordan and Ukraine, as well as in Australia, Canada, Germany, Slovakia, South Africa, the UAE, and the UK. 

You can check out more of Alysia’s work on her website, alysiaharris.com, on social media @ poppyinthewheat, on YouTube, and at Scalawag Magazine .org. 

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

Want the full episode? You can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

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• the intersection of a deeply rooted faith and LGBTQ culture
• how celibacy can be life-giving
• spiritual and found family
• understanding the nuance of attraction
• and more!

We are resharing an episode from season 5, but now you get to hear the full conversation. Grant and I recorded this conversation in November 2020. This was one of my favorite conversations, and I can't wait for y'all to hear from Grant Hartley again. Grant is a seminary student, speaker, and freelance writer living near St. Louis. He co-hosts the “Life on Side B” podcast, which facilitates conversations among Christian sexual and gender minorities on faith, sexuality, and gender. 

You can follow Grant on Twitter @thegranthartley. 

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

Want the full episode? You can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Support the show

Support the show

• the intersection of celebrity and marital status in the church
• how cultural context impacts how we singles see ourselves
• the problem with singles' events at most churches
• the power of being part of a spiritually nourishing community
• and more!

Katelyn Beaty is a Midwest native living in New York City and editorial director for Brazos Press. But the most important thing you should know about her is that she loves words and believes they can change the world. Katelyn served as Christianity Today magazine's youngest and first female managing editor. 

She has written for The New Yorker, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and The New York Times on light topics such as politics, gender, and theology and has commented on faith and culture for CNN, ABC, NPR, Associated Press, Religion News Service, and the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

Katelyn enjoys exploring NYC, karaoke (post-pandemic, of course), FaceTiming with her nephew, international travel, and starting the day with the NYT Spelling Bee. 

You can follow Katelyn on Instagram @katelyn_beaty and on Twitter @KatelynBeaty. Read more of her work at katelynbeaty.com. Celebrities for Jesus is available wherever you buy books. 

Link to "In the Bleak Midwinter" by Richard Allain: https://soundcloud.com/dominicellispeckham/in-the-bleak-midwinter

For more information on Studio Aplomb visit craftedwithaplomb.com

The Single Christian's Holiday Survival Guide is available exclusively in my shop at marybsafrit.com

Support the show

• navigating relational boundaries as a single pastor
• what we miss when we require pastors to be married
• how our assumptions create barriers in our friendships
• why equating marriage with righteousness doesn't work
• and more!

Jason Adam Miller is the founder and lead pastor of South Bend City Church, an eclectic Christian community known for its thoughtful teaching, inclusive vision, and commitment to its city context. An advocate for artists and peacemakers, his work beyond South Bend focuses on cultural headwaters and conflict zones, where he serves an international constituency of leaders. He holds a master’s degree in theology from the University of Notre Dame.

I can't wait for y'all to hear from Jason. We cut some good stuff to keep the episode snappy. If you want access to the ad-free, full interview, you can join our Patreon community for as little as $5 per month. Join us by visiting patreon.com/unsuitable. Alright, now let's dive into the conversation. 

You can follow Jason on Instagram @jasonadammiller, or head to his website jasonadammiller.com. If you want to hear more from South Bend City Church, check out their podcast wherever you listen. 

The Single Christian's Holiday Survival Guide is available exclusively in my shop at marybsafrit.com. 

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

Want the full episode? You can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Support the show

• lessons from being raised by a single mom
• learning and unlearning relational patterns
• why the church needs to talk about marriage differently
• how art can help us process and heal relational wounds
• and more!

Kayana is a singer-songwriter and producer born and raised in New York. Music was Kayana’s first language, having learned piano at age 3 from her mother, a classical and jazz pianist. Since then, she has become a multi-instrumentalist, writing and performing original songs starting at a young age. Kayana has explored various genres of music from singing in church, musical theatre, and local jazz bars. With influences ranging from H.E.R., Ella Mai, Tori Kelly, and Khalid, Kayana’s sound fuses pop and R&B with soulful and jazzy undertones.

You can follow Kayana on Instagram and Tiktok @kayanamusic and you can stream Kayana's music wherever you listen.

Get a copy of Kayana's Relationship  Resources that she mentioned in her episode here!

The Single Christian's Holiday Survival Guide is available exclusively in my shop at marybsafrit.com. 

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

Want the full episode? You can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Support the show

In today’s episode, you’ll hear Matt and Anna talk about 

• the cost of touch deprivation
• Why non-sexual touch is so important
• how gender norms and sexuality play into our view of touch
• how we can move forward

Anna is a 30-something single woman with a passion for singles’ advocacy in the church. She’s the founder of an online community called The Single Hearted Life, which exists to dismantle the myths about marriage and singleness in our society to cultivate a culture where single humans can thrive. Offline, Anna is a swiftie, a Star Wars fan, and a psychology student. She lives in Boise with two roommates, a cat, and a never ending reservoir of books and feelings. You can join our community at @singleheartedlife on Instagram, or connect with Anna at @annaIPrimrose1 on Twitter.

Matt is a gay Christian who lives in Germany. He’s a church kid who grew up in a conservative non-denominational environment – so when he realized he was gay at 13, a 21-year battle began to reconcile his faith with his sexuality. On his blog, The Crossing, Matt tells the story of his religious trauma in memoir format. You can follow Matt on Instagram @mattlinden, and his blog is crossingblog.com

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately a lot wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

The Single Christian's Holiday Survival Guide is available exclusively in my shop at marybsafrit.com. 

Support the show

• the importance of being around other single Christians
• what to look for in a church as a single person
• the affect of healthy relationships between singles and leadership
• Yana Jenay's advice for single people
• and more! 

Yana Jenay Conner is a writer and Bible teacher who seeks to help others think well about faith and culture. By God’s grace, she has served in full-time ministry for the past fifteen years in both the church and parachurch context and earned a Master in Divinity in Christian Ministry from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. She currently serves at Vertical Church as the Discipleship Director and hosts a podcast called Living Single. 

You can follow Yana Jenay on Instagram @yanajenay. Living Single with Yana Jenay is available wherever you get your podcasts. You can find more of her writing and teaching at yanajenay.com. 

The Single Christian's Holiday Survival Guide is available exclusively in my shop at marybsafrit.com. 

Listen to The Advent Podcast with Katie Kibbe. 

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• Mutuality: the missing ingredient in too many friendships between marrieds and singles 
• What single friends need from their married friends—and vice versa
• How to identify and express our needs—and unlearn what the Church has taught us about ignoring our need

Matt is a gay Christian who lives in Germany. He’s a church kid who grew up in a conservative non-denominational environment – so when he realized he was gay at 13, a 21-year battle began to reconcile his faith with his sexuality. On his blog, The Crossing, Matt tells the story of his religious trauma in memoir format. 

You can follow Matt on Instagram @mattlinden, and his blog is crossingblog.com

For more information on Studio Aplomb visit craftedwithaplomb.com.

Listen to The Advent Podcast with Katie Kibbe. 

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• The weird ins and outs of Christian dating culture
• The underrated value of clear communication
• Why Landen says "if" rather than "when" when talking about marriage
• How purity culture reinforces ring-by-spring culture
• And so much more!

Landen Swain is an author, viral content creator, speaker, playwright, and lyricist. Moved to compassionate action after seeing the over-complexity of Christian dating culture, Swain spent his last few years at Liberty University researching, writing, and promoting his first book, which he believes can untangle some of the problems with the culture through conversation. Currently, Swain works in Pennsylvania as a Staff Associate with Young Life.

You can follow Landen on Instagram and Tiktok @detoxchristiandating. His book, Detox Christian Dating, is available on Amazon. 

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately a lot wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Listen to Be Known the Podcast with Kerrah Fabacher wherever you get your podcast!

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• untangling cultural Christian expectations 
• how to treat singles as whole people
• allowing for all feelings in singleness
• which kinds of relationships deserve more attention (and why)
• and so much more!

Today is an extra special episode of Unsuitable, because you're going to get to hear from two guests at once! Audrey Elledge lives in New York, where she works at SparkNotes and serves at Church of the City New York. Elledge is the recipient of the Academy of American Poets Prize and the Virginia Beall Ball Prize. Born and raised in Louisiana, Elizabeth Moore now lives in New York, where she works at Penguin Random House and serves with the Church of the City New York creative team. We're talking to both of them at once because they co-authored a book that releases today called Liturgies for Hope. You can listen to Audrey's playlist "Sermons in Stones" on Spotify. 

You can follow Elizabeth on Instagram @elizabethjmoore and Audrey on Twitter @audreymae17. Their book, Liturgies for Hope, is available wherever you buy books. You can listen to Audrey's playlist "Sermons in Stones" on Spotify.

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately a lot wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

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• Holding our married friends accountable
• The vulnerability of sharing our suffering, 
• Tangible ways the church can show up for singles
• And so much more!

Originally from Kenya and currently based in Fort Worth, Texas, Henry is a Christian man who writes on Faith, Friendships, Sexuality, Race, Jesus and a host of other topics. He loves hosting dinner parties, running, live music, deep friendships, red wine, Beyonce, and all things Texas. 

You can follow Henry on Instagram and on Twitter @henryabuto. Be sure to check out his website, henryabuto.com.

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Think coaching could be for you? Fill out the interest form here!

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• How the Billy Graham rule affects single women
• What the church gets right about community
• Our thoughts on "changing the church from the inside" 
• The specific value single women bring to the church

Dr. Katie Gaddini is a sociologist at the Social Research Institute, University College London (UCL), and a research associate at the University of Johannesburg, Department of Sociology. From 2022-2026 she is a United Kingdom Research & Innovation (UKRI) Research Fellow at Stanford University and UCL.

Katie holds master’s degrees from Boston College and the London School of Economics, and a PhD in Sociology from the University of Cambridge.

Her debut book, The Struggle to Stay, is based on over four years of in-depth ethnographic research with single evangelical women in the US and the UK. Her current research investigates Christianity and politics in the US. Her writing has been published in Religion & Politics, LA Review of Books, The Marginalia Review, The Conversation , and more.

You can follow Katie on Instagram @drkatiegaddini, and on Twitter @DrKatieGaddini. Her website is katiegaddini.com. You can buy The Struggle to Stay: Why Single Evangelical Women Are Leaving the Church from all major book retailers. 

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• the unique injustices single black women face 
• how to broaden the way we think about contentment 
• what a healthy community in singleness looks like 
• ways to uproot shame 

Ekemini Uwan is a public theologian and co-author of Truth’s Table: Black Women’s Musings on Life, Love, and Liberation. She is the co-host of the award-winning podcast, Truth's Table and Get In The Word With Truth’s Table. Ekemini is also a contributing writer for Hallmark Mahogany and Christianity Today named her among "10 New or Lesser-Known Female Theologians Worth Knowing.” Her writings have been published in The Atlantic, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post Black Voices, Christianity Today, and The Witness: A Black Christian Collective to name a few. Ekemini has appeared on MSNBC, and her insights are quoted by NPR, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The New Yorker among other publications. As one who is passionate about theology, Ekemini has a fierce commitment to the gospel and its implications for issues pertaining to racial injustice, anti-black racism, and white supremacy.

You can follow Ekemini on Twitter @sista_theology, Instagram @sistatheology, and Facebook at facebook.com/sistatheology. Her website is sistamatictheology.com. 

This episode is jam-packed and full of perspective! If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to rate and review!

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Each episode this season, we’re going to be talking about being single and in the church--the good, bad, and awkward. Episode 1 drops October 11.

We've also launched a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there! 

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