When you start stepping back from micromanaging, rescuing, and constantly stepping in, it often doesn’t feel like relief. It feels like you’re doing something wrong. You’re not the only one feeling like this. Today’s society reinforces helicopter parenting and letting that go can feel unnatural, confusing, and emotionally intense. 

That’s why Seth and I unpack today why this shift feels so uncomfortable, what teens and young adults actually experience when parents pull back, and how to stay emotionally present while still holding boundaries. 

Letting go doesn’t mean disappearing. It means learning how to support without rescuing, guide without controlling, and stay connected even when things are hard.

In this episode on parenting without helicoptering, we discuss:

• Why letting go often makes parents feel like they’re doing nothing;
• What teens and young adults experience when parents stop micromanaging and helicoptering;
• The difference between emotional support and rescuing;
• Why boundaries without follow-through break trust;
• How kids sometimes test connection by making it “all or nothing”;
• Why consequences can be powerful teachers (even when they’re hard to watch);
• How to stay present and supportive without fixing everything;
• What it means to parent in the gray area instead of going black-and-white;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

In this episode, I sit down with Danny Frazer, one of the founding partners of Open Sky Wilderness Therapy, to talk honestly about what makes wilderness therapy work, and what doesn’t. We explore why Open Sky stood out in the field, what parents should look for in a program, and why the single biggest predictor of success isn’t your teen’s effort… it’s yours.

Danny shares the origin story behind Open Sky’s family-centered model, why enrolling the whole family changes everything, and what he wishes every parent knew before making this incredibly hard decision. We also talk about the grief in the field right now, the contraction of wilderness programs, and why he believes the future still holds hope for nature-based healing.

If you are weighing treatment options for your struggling teen or young adult child, or simply trying to understand what wilderness therapy really involves, this conversation will give you clarity, perspective, and compassion.

In this episode on wilderness therapy for struggling teens, we discuss:

• What made Open Sky’s approach different in the wilderness therapy field;
• Why parent engagement is the biggest predictor of success in treatment;
• How to know when wilderness therapy might be the right next step;
• Red flags and green flags to look for in a wilderness program;
• The importance of accreditation, transparency, and leadership involvement;
• Why most parents don’t regret intervening, even when the decision feels agonizing;
• The emotional toll on families (and program leaders) during treatment;
• Where wilderness therapy is headed and what the future may look like.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

Today, Seth and I talk about what happens when parents become attached to how growth is supposed to look: sobriety first, independence next, emotional maturity on a timeline that makes sense to you. And how easily those expectations, even when they come from love, can turn into frustration, judgment, or disconnection.

This conversation invites you into a different role: one where your job isn’t to manage your teen or young adult’s path, but to stay present while they walk it. We explore why letting go of expectations for your teen doesn’t mean approving of everything they do. There are ways to trust their process and actually protect the relationship long enough for real change to take root.

If you’re exhausted from waiting for things to “click,” confused about what progress even looks like anymore, or afraid that stepping back means failing as a parent, let us offer you a reframe.

In this episode on letting go of expectations for your teen or young adult, we discuss:

• The difference between supporting your teen and managing their life;
• Why parents often mistake outcomes for growth;
• How expectations can quietly turn into pressure, judgment, or enmeshment;
• What it means to witness your teen’s discovery process without trying to fix it;
• The difference between providing opportunity and controlling direction;
• How curiosity builds safety where judgment shuts communication down;
• Why connection matters more than getting the “right” result;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

But what’s happening underneath those behaviors is often invisible. Big emotions. Overwhelm. Shame. Anxiety. A nervous system that’s trying to survive. And when all you can see is the behavior, misunderstanding and frustration are almost inevitable.

In this episode, I’m joined by therapist, author, and DBT clinician Katie May to help parents slow down and start understanding self-destructive behaviors in their teen or young adult kid through a very different lens. One rooted in the idea that all behavior makes sense, especially when you understand what it’s doing for them.

We talk about the iceberg analogy and why focusing only on the “tip” keeps parents stuck in fear, power struggles, and reactivity. Katie helps decode behaviors like self-harm, suicidal ideation, substance use, and school avoidance as attempts to regulate overwhelming emotions, not attention-seeking or manipulation.

Let’s have a look at how to respond to destructive behaviors in ways that reduce shame, build trust, and create the conditions for real change.

In this episode on understanding self-destructive behaviors, we discuss:

• The iceberg analogy: why behavior is only the tip of what’s really happening;
• What “all behavior makes sense” actually means for parents;
• How emotional dysregulation fuels self-harm, substance use, and school refusal in teens and young adults;
• Why parents often get stuck reacting to behavior instead of responding to their child’s needs;
• How your own regulation as a parent can de-escalate intense situations;
• Validating your teen’s emotions without excusing harmful behavior;
• How boundaries, connection, and repair work together;
• And more!

More about Katie May

Katie K. May is a licensed therapist, author, speaker, and group practice owner. She founded Creative Healing, a multi-location teen support center in the Philadelphia area, and wrote the #1 Amazon best-seller You’re On Fire, It’s Fine. With lived experience as a teen who turned to self-harm, Katie is one of only 11 Linehan Board Certified DBT Clinicians in Pennsylvania, the gold standard treatment for self-harm and suicidal behaviors. She equips parents and clinicians with practical, trauma-informed tools to decode behavior as survival and create lasting change. 

Learn more about Katie on her website: https://youreonfireitsfine.com/ or connect with her on Facebook or Instagram.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

When your teen or young adult is making painful, risky, or destructive choices, the idea of rock bottom can feel like a lifeline. A way to survive the moment. A way to believe that relief, change, or recovery must be just around the corner. But what if that hope is actually keeping you stuck?

In this episode, I’m joined by Seth for a deeply honest conversation about the false hope of rock bottom and why so many parents unknowingly use it as a way to predict, control, or emotionally prepare for outcomes that are completely out of their hands.

We talk about why rock bottom isn’t a clear turning point, why it’s not something parents can identify or decide for someone else, and how placing your hope there often leads to more disappointment, helplessness, and heartbreak. We also talk about what happens when you stop waiting for someone else to change, and gently turn your focus back to yourself.

This isn’t about giving up hope. It’s about letting go of a belief that quietly keeps parents stuck, and finding a steadier, more sustainable way to get through the uncertainty of parenting a struggling teen or young adult.

In this episode on the false hope of rock bottom, we discuss:

• Why parents cling to the idea of rock bottom when their teen is struggling;
• How rock bottom becomes a false sense of hope and control;
• Why rock bottom is not a fixed point and can always move;
• The emotional cost of waiting for your teen to “finally change”;
• How expectations around rock bottom set parents up for more hurt;
• The difference between reflection and prediction when it comes to personal lows;
• What to focus on when you can’t control your teen’s choices but still need to survive the moment;
• And more.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

You might believe your role is to keep your kids happy, safe, and “on track.” And when it inevitably becomes clear that you don’t have any control over this during the teen years, the shame comes creeping in fast, right? You start questioning every decision, every boundary, every reaction, and it can leave you feeling like a failing parent, even when you’re trying harder than ever.

In this conversation, I’m joined by life coach and fellow parent Jessica Stewart, who names something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: parents were given the wrong job description. Together, we explore why fix-it mode is so tempting, why it often backfires, and what actually helps when parenting a struggling teen starts to feel overwhelming.

This episode is an invitation to step out of fear-based parenting, loosen your grip on control, and refocus on the only place you truly have influence: yourself. If you’re exhausted, discouraged, or quietly wondering if you’re messing everything up, tune in, I recorded this one for you.

In this episode on feeling like you’re failing as a parent, we discuss:

• Why so many parents feel like failures, especially during the teen years;
• How the “fix-it” and rescue mindset keeps parents stuck;
• What it really means to let go without giving up;
• A healthier parenting “job description” that actually works;
• How connection, acceptance, love, and emotional regulation change everything in your family;
• Why focusing on your own behavior is the most powerful parenting move you can make;
• And more.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

More about Jessica Stewart

Jessica Stewart is a certified Life Coach, Respiratory Therapist, Certified Tobacco Educator, and host of the podcast The Teen Years Toolkit For Moms. Having raised two teenage sons of her own, she now helps parents of teenagers understand how their own emotional management is the best tool for raising teens. She is currently accepting clients for her 1:1 coaching practice.

You can connect with Jessica on her website, find her on Instagram or Facebook, or reach out at Jessicastewartcoach@gmail.com.

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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I hope to see you there

This is not an easy conversation. There are tears. There is grief. And there is also something profoundly important here for parents of struggling teens. What I witnessed in the aftermath of this loss changed me. It expanded my understanding of how much we miss when we focus only on behavior, substance use, or “bad choices,” without seeing the pain and connection underneath.

As parents, it’s natural to lock in on what scares us most: the drugs, the risk-taking, the behaviors that feel dangerous or out of control. But when we do that, we often miss the deeper story. We miss the love these kids have for one another. We miss the ways they show up for each other. And sometimes, we miss opportunities to be part of what keeps them alive.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, soften your lens, and look beyond behavior. It’s a reminder that healing happens in relationships, and that connection, empathy, and support matter more than we often realize.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What I witnessed after someone close to my family died by suicide, and how it changed me;
• Why focusing only on behavior can blind us to what our teens are really experiencing;
• The powerful sense of connection and care teens often have for one another;
• How substance use can mask deeper pain, grief, and unmet needs;
• What it looks like to see teens, and their friends, as whole humans, not just problems to fix.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

In this episode, I’m joined again by Michelle, a mom who has walked a long, painful, and ultimately transformative path with her daughter, who was later diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Together, we talk honestly about what it looks like to parent through intense fear, misdiagnosis, shame, and the overwhelming urge to control in order to keep your child alive.

Michelle shares what it was like before she understood her daughter’s mental health struggles, when substance use, self-harm, and suicidality felt like “bad choices” instead of symptoms, and how that misunderstanding led to extreme lockdowns that, in hindsight, caused more harm than healing. She also opens up about the guilt that followed, and how she learned to meet herself with compassion instead of self-blame.

This is a deep conversation about parenting a struggling teen when fear drives your decisions, and how letting go doesn’t mean giving up. Instead, it means changing how you show up. Michelle reflects on learning new ways to communicate, recognizing when “help” is actually invalidating, and managing the anxiety that comes with giving your teen or young adult more independence.

If you’ve ever felt consumed by fear around your struggling teen’s behavior, obsessed with keeping your child safe, or unsure where your responsibility ends and theirs begins, this episode is for you.

In this episode on learning to let go, we discuss:

• What it feels like to parent before you understand your child’s mental health diagnosis;
• How fear can lead to control, and why control often backfires;
• Letting go of the belief that you can save your teen’s life;
• The difference between supporting your child and managing your own anxiety;
• How certain “helpful” behaviors (like constant checking or cheerleading) can be invalidating;
• Practical tools for responding to fear without letting it run the show;
• Learning new ways to communicate that build trust and self-advocacy in your teen or young adult child;
• Redefining your role as your teen becomes a young adult;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

👉🏼 Click here to sign up, or go to bethhillmancoaching.com/boundariesmasterclass

I hope to see you there!

There’s a kind of grief many parents of struggling teens carry that doesn’t always get named.

It’s not just the fear.
It’s not just the exhaustion.
It’s the quiet heartbreak of realizing that the life you once imagined for your child may never unfold the way you thought it would.

In this episode, I’m joined by Paul King, a father with lived experience navigating teen substance abuse and relapse. Paul shares his family’s story from the early warning signs, to trauma, to years of substance use, treatment, and relapse. Together, we talk about anticipatory grief, the ongoing grief parents live with when their child is still alive, still struggling, and still at risk.

We also explore why relapse is part of recovery, why trying to “fix” or control our kids can leave parents burned out and hopeless, and how learning to separate your child from their behavior can change everything. This is a conversation about grief, love, boundaries, and learning how to cope when the path forward looks nothing like what you expected.

If you’re parenting a child impacted by teen substance abuse, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing it wrong.

In this episode on teen substance abuse and relapse, we discuss:

• Paul’s story as a dad living with his daughter’s substance abuse;
• What anticipatory grief is and why so many parents experience it;
• Grieving the life you thought your child would have;
• Why relapse is common, and why it doesn’t mean treatment “failed”;
• Why “rock bottom” isn’t necessary for recovery;
• How boundaries and self-care as a parent actually support your teen’s healing;
• What coping can look like when your child continues to struggle;
• And much more.

More about Paul King

Paul is a calm, kind communicator studying a Diploma of Counselling. Across his working life he has chosen people‑centred roles: running his own homeopathy clinic, supporting students and community members in education, producing stories with care in media and training, and now hosting a podcast and volunteering on the Family Drug Support helpline.

Learn more about Paul’s work on https://familyhopesupport.com/ or listen to his podcast ‘Family Support In Addiction Recovery’.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

👉🏼 Click here to sign up, or go to bethhillmancoaching.com/boundariesmasterclass

I hope to see you there!

When your kid keeps struggling and nothing seems to change, it’s natural to focus all your energy on them. Their choices. Their behavior. Their refusal to do things differently. But have you ever tried looking at your own part? Because even though it might feel unfair, change in families often starts with the parents.

In this episode, Seth and I talk about what happens when families feel stuck in repeating patterns with your teen, even maybe after therapy, treatment, boundaries, and countless conversations. We explore why change rarely comes from doing more of the same, and why the most meaningful shifts often begin in places parents aren’t taught to look: their reactions, beliefs, and sense of safety in the home.

We unpack the difference between supporting and rescuing, structure and control, belief and fear. And we talk honestly about the discomfort parents face when they start asking themselves, “What is my part in this dynamic?”, especially when their teen is the one making risky or painful choices.

This episode is not about blaming parents or letting teens off the hook. It’s about understanding how family dynamics shape behavior, why repeating cycles persist, and how parents can become the catalyst for change, without lecturing, rescuing, or giving up.

In this episode on what to do when you feel stuck in repeating patterns with your teen or young adult, we discuss:

• How fear, control, and rescue can unintentionally keep cycles going;
• What it really means for parents to “look at their part”, and why it’s so hard;
• The messages teens receive from you about safety, capability, and trust;
• Why change in families often starts with parents, even when it feels unfair;
• How shifting beliefs creates space for real change in your family;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

Starting January 13th -- Early Bird price until December 31st!

👉🏼 Click here to sign up, or go to bethhillmancoaching.com/boundariesmasterclass

I hope to see you there!

If you’re parenting a teen with a mental health condition, like borderline personality disorder, you may recognize the constant confusion: Is this normal? Am I helping, or making it worse? Why does nothing seem to work?

In this episode, I’m joined by Michelle Park, a mom who courageously shares her family’s long and winding journey of parenting a teen with borderline personality disorder. Michelle takes us all the way back to early childhood, through misdiagnoses, masking, suicide attempts, and multiple levels of care, and into the crucial shifts that ultimately helped her daughter and family heal.

What makes this conversation so powerful isn’t just the treatment story. It’s the parenting transformation Michelle had to make along the way. She opens up about letting go of fixing, silver-lining, and minimizing pain and learning instead how to validate emotions, sit with discomfort, and radically accept her daughter for who she is.

This episode is honest, emotional, and hopeful. It’s for those of you who are exhausted, scared, and wondering whether change is even possible, both for your teen and for yourself.

In this episode on parenting a teen with borderline personality disorder, we discuss:

• Michelle’s journey through early signs of emotional dysregulation in her daughter and how they’re often missed;
• The impact of misdiagnosis, masking, and “whack-a-mole” treatment;
• What borderline personality disorder can look like in teens and young adults;
• Why validation (not fixing) became the turning point in Michelle’s parenting;
• How long-term treatment supported real, lasting change for Michelle’s family;
• The important role parents play in recovery, and why family work matters so much;
• Letting go of expectations and redefining success for your struggling teen;
• Finding hope, support, and community as a parent of a child with a mental health condition.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)
• NEABPD (National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder)

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

Starting January 13th -- Early Bird price until December 31st!

👉🏼 Click here to sign up, or go to bethhillmancoaching.com/boundariesmasterclass

I hope to see you there!

It’s never an easy decision to send your struggling child to treatment, whether it’ll be their first time or their tenth. As a parent, you’re exhausted, scared, unsure what’s actually best, and constantly questioning whether things are really as bad as they feel, or if you’re just out of options.

Today, Seth and I sit down for a short conversation on what so many parents silently carry: the fear of failing your child, the worry about keeping them safe, the confusion about what’s “normal,” and the sinking feeling when home no longer feels like a place where healing is happening.

Together, we talk about how to make sense of the patterns you’re seeing, how to approach this decision without blame or panic, and why communicating openly is often the first step toward clarity. We also share what we see in our own families and in the families we support: the moments when a higher level of care may be necessary, the moments when patience matters, and how to keep going when you feel completely stuck.

In this episode on deciding whether to send your teen to treatment (again) or not, we discuss:

• What it means when a teen or young adult feels stuck or unsafe at home;
• How to tell the difference between a momentary struggle and an ongoing pattern;
• Why parents often feel they’ve “failed”, and why that’s not true;
• How to start a conversation about returning to treatment without blame;
• When to bring in a coach, therapist, family specialist, or other neutral third party;
• How to poke holes in black-and-white thinking when crisis narrows your vision;
• The importance of vocalizing concerns rather than holding everything inside;
• Why there’s no single “right answer”, only the next informed step forward.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

In today’s conversation, Jake returns to share the part of his story most parents never get to hear from their own child: what it feels like on the inside when the systems that shaped you ( family expectations, culture, religion, diagnostic labels, school, recovery programs) tell you who you’re supposed to be, while your true self is begging for air.

Jake walks us through the years he spent trying to fit into a system that convinced him he was broken… until everything collapsed. Addiction, relapse, spiritual pressure, shame, and finally a life-threatening cancer diagnosis stripped him of every identity he’d ever carried. The belief system he built his whole life on fell apart and he had to rebuild from the inside out.

For parents, this conversation is a window into what your child may be wrestling with beneath the behavior. The confusion. The shame. The feeling of being “the identified patient.” The pressure to be who the system says they should be. And the long, messy, necessary process of learning to trust themselves again after trauma and conditioning.

Jake’s journey reminds us that breakdowns in our teens aren’t always signs of failure, but can also be signs of a self being born.

If you’ve ever wondered why your child reacts the way they do, why consequences don’t “fix it,” or why their behavior seems to carry so much pain, this episode will help you see their struggle with new compassion… and perhaps see your own inner work more clearly, too.

In this episode on learning to trust yourself again after trauma and conditioning, we discuss:

• How systems (family, school, religion, culture) shape identity, and shame;
• What it feels like to be the “identified patient” in a family;
• Why teens may crumble when they can’t meet expectations;
• How addiction, relapse, and shame cycles destroy self-trust;
• The symbolic collapse of identity through Jake’s cancer journey;
• Shadow work and parts work as tools for rebuilding inner authority;
• What unconditional love looks like when everything is falling apart;
• How breakdowns can become breakthroughs for both parent and child;
• And more!

More about Jake Wood

Jake Wood is a certified Resilience and Transformation Coach who helps individuals navigate their Soul–System dynamics — the interplay between the stories they inherited and the soul’s original truth. His descent through addiction, depression, and cancer became the doorway through which his soul revealed what had been buried beneath the early system conditioning. Today, Jake walks alongside those who feel called to turn inward and discover what their own soul is revealing. 

He can be reached at coaching@lifebeyondthebrink.com.  

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

In one of the favorite interviews I’ve ever done, I sit down with transformation guide Jake Wood to explore a perspective on teen drug addiction that most parents never hear: one rooted not in pathology, shame, or “fixing,” but in soul, story, and deep humanity.

“Shame has always been my monster” - Jake Wood

Jake shares his extraordinary journey from “System Jake,” shaped by rigid rules, labels, and misdiagnoses, to “Soul Jake,” the version of himself that emerged after surviving an aggressive cancer diagnosis, and a complete identity unraveling. His insight into labels like addict, bipolar, or behavioral problem will challenge the way you see your struggling teen, and maybe even yourself.

You’ll hear how addiction often begins as a coping strategy, not a character flaw, why shame disconnects kids from their true selves, and how parents can shift from fear-based reactions to compassion, presence, and genuine connection.

Have a listen to hear what Jake has to say about supporting your struggling teen or young adult without getting lost in labels!

In this episode on teen drug addiction, we discuss:

• Why labels like “addict” can sometimes do more harm than good;
• How shame disconnects teens from themselves and others;
• Jake’s life-changing journey through addiction, recovery, and cancer;
• The difference between “System identity” and “Soul identity”;
• How Internal Family Systems (IFS) reframes addiction as a protective part;
• Why connection, not control, is the antidote to teen drug addiction;
• How parents can hold space for their teen’s pain without absorbing it;
• The generational patterns that shape kids long before behavior shows up;
• And much more.

More About Jake Wood

Jake Wood is a certified Resilience and Transformation Coach who helps individuals navigate their Soul–System dynamics — the interplay between the stories they inherited and the soul’s original truth. His descent through addiction, depression, and cancer became the doorway through which his soul revealed what had been buried beneath the early system conditioning. Today, Jake walks alongside those who feel called to turn inward and discover what their own soul is revealing. 

He can be reached at coaching@lifebeyondthebrink.com.  

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

In this episode, Seth and I talk about why these IOUs, bargains, and “I swear I’ll do it tomorrow” promises fall apart so quickly, and why they often leave you feeling resentful, confused, or taken advantage of. And more importantly, how can you stop negotiating with your teen and begin creating the kind of consistent boundaries that set them up for real responsibility, maturity, and independence?

Together, we explore what’s actually happening in your teen’s brain when they make promises they likely won’t keep, why the “just this once” pattern spirals into entitlement and power struggles, and how you can step out of this cycle with your teen or young adult.

In this episode on how to stop negotiating with your teen, we discuss:

• Why deals, IOUs, and promises rarely work, even when your teen means them;
• How “just this once” accidentally creates entitlement;
• The resentment parents often feel when negotiations fall apart;
• Why teens and young adults bargain for privileges and what’s happening developmentally;
• The difference between earning a privilege vs. negotiating for one;
• How to set clear expectations before a privilege is used;
• What to say when your teen forgets, avoids, or pushes back;
• Why things often get worse before they get better when you change the pattern;
• How consistent follow-through leads to accountability and maturity over time.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

If you’ve ever felt terrified, overwhelmed, or lost in the fear of “what if,” and weren’t sure whether to show your child how scared you really are…
If you’ve ever wondered why expressing your emotions towards your child sometimes leads to more distance instead of more connection…
Or if you’ve ever felt the urge to show your child just how upset, hurt, or worried you are, especially when their behavior frightens you, but aren’t sure whether that helps or harms…

You are not alone, and this episode will bring clarity to something many parents quietly wrestle with.

Today, I’m joined by therapist Dana VanRenterghem to talk honestly about how to express emotions to your child in a healthy, appropriate way. We explore why kids should never be responsible for managing a parent’s emotional world, how even well-intentioned honesty can become emotional dumping, and how easy it is to cross the line without realizing it.

We get into the nuance: your emotions are real and valid… but they’re still your emotions. So how do you pause, regulate, and come back to your child from a grounded place instead of fear? We also talk about the caregiver–seeker roles in attachment, how role reversals happen, why they’re so confusing, and how to repair if you’ve shared too much in the past.

In this episode on how to express emotions to your child, we discuss:

• Why sharing “big feelings” with your child can accidentally create shame
• The difference between emotional honesty and emotional burden
• What to say when you’re scared, angry, or overwhelmed
• How to pause and regulate before returning to your child
• The caregiver vs. seeker roles (and what happens when they get reversed)
• How to repair with your child when you’ve said too much or reacted too fast
• Why your child is not responsible for your feelings
• What emotional expression looks like in healthy parent–child communication
• Where parents should take their big feelings (hint: not to your child)

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

I’m joined again by Colin MacDonald, co-founder of Not Therapy Coaching and a former struggling teen himself. Colin now mentors young people in the transition from treatment back to real life, helping them find structure, accountability, and confidence. Together, we explore why fear-based parenting, like constantly checking your teen’s location or replaying old narratives, can unintentionally keep everyone trapped in the past, and how to shift toward calm, evidence-based trust instead.

Colin shares what he’s learned from supporting more than 70 families through this critical transition, including why home contracts rarely last more than a week, how autonomy helps prevent deception, and the power of pairing increasing freedom with increasing responsibility. We also talk about why post-treatment anxiety often peaks for both teens and parents, and how setting short-term goals and realistic expectations can help your family stay grounded.

You may still see your kid as the troubled teen they were before, but there’s no doubt that treatment has changed them. They deserve a fresh start, and so do you.

In this episode on allowing a fresh start after treatment, we discuss:

• Why rebuilding trust means focusing on progress, not perfection;
• How to trade surveillance for structure and clear communication;
• The difference between enabling and empowering independence;
• What to do when your teen slips up or tests boundaries;
• How mentors and coaches can help your family rebuild trust and balance;
• And more!
  
  

More about Colin MacDonald

Colin is a "former troubled teen" who spent his last two years of high school in wilderness and therapeutic boarding school. Based on his experience, he co-founded Not Therapy to provide peer-to-peer coaching for teens and young adults who feel like therapy hasn’t been the right fit or who are transitioning out of therapeutic programs back into the real world. As a young person who has been in his clients’ shoes, Colin’s approach is rooted in personal expertise.

Learn more about Not Therapy on their website or blog, or connect with them on LinkedIn.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

Both Heidi and Josh began using as teens and spent decades navigating addiction before finding lasting recovery. Their stories are raw, real, and filled with moments every parent of a struggling teen can learn from. Now, through their platform and podcast Sober.Buzz, they’re using those experiences to help families better understand what’s really happening beneath the surface of teen drug addiction and how parents can approach their kids with compassion instead of fear or control.

They open up about what they wish their parents had known back then: the pain they were carrying, the early warning signs that went unnoticed, and how certain well-meaning but reactive responses only made them retreat further into secrecy and shame.

Through their vulnerability, Josh and Heidi show us that what kids need most in those dark moments isn’t discipline or distance. It’s connection, curiosity, and love that says, “I see you, and I’m not giving up on you.”

In this episode on teen drug addiction, we discuss:

• What former addicts Josh and Heidi wish their parents had done differently;
• How shame and secrecy keep families stuck in silence;
• Whether it’s okay to snoop in your kid’s stuff when you suspect drug abuse;
• Why addiction is often rooted in unresolved trauma and pain;
• The signs parents often overlook and what to do when you see them;
• How to approach a struggling teen with curiosity and compassion;
• The power of community and hope through their Sober.Buzz movement;
• And more.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

In this episode, Seth and I talk about one of my favorite parenting tools of all time: learning how to pause before reacting to your teen. We explore what that pause actually looks like, why it’s so hard to find in the moment, and how creating just a few seconds of space can completely shift the dynamic between you and your child.

You’ll hear us unpack real-life examples, the physical signs that you’re getting pulled into a pattern, and the ways you can practice slowing things down, even when emotions run high.

In this episode on how to pause before reacting to your teen, we discuss:

• The physical and emotional cues that signal you’re getting reactive;
• How to recognize your triggers and slow the momentum;
• Simple tools to create a “pause” in the heat of the moment;
• What to say (and what not to say) when things get tense between you and your teen;
• How a famous Viktor Frankl quote guides my parenting every day, and could do the same for you;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

Today, Seth and I unpack the psychology behind this “everything’s fine now” mindset and why it can quickly unravel the stability your family’s worked so hard to build. But that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate your teen’s growth! We’ll share how you can do so without removing the structure that keeps them grounded.

You’ll learn practical ways to reward your teen’s progress while maintaining healthy consistency, plus ideas for meaningful connection that don’t depend on relaxed rules or shifting limits.

In this episode on keeping healthy boundaries with your teen when things go upward, we discuss:

• Why parents often pull back on structure when things start improving;
• How to reward progress without losing accountability;
• How steady boundaries and structure create a sense of safety and connection for your teen or young adult;
• Creative, connection-based rewards that don’t involve loosening boundaries;
• What it looks like to stay steady even when your teen pushes back.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

Luckily, we’re joined again by Colin MacDonald from Not Therapy Coaching to explore what it really looks like to parent your teen after treatment, and how to make sure fear doesn’t take over. He shares powerful mindset shifts for parents and offers practical ways to focus on what’s actually happening, rather than catastrophizing every challenge.

I’m so grateful to pick Colin’s brain again on this topic, not only because he’s worked with countless struggling teens and their families, but also because he once was a struggling teen himself. Having spent time in both wilderness therapy and therapeutic boarding school, Colin brings rare insight and compassion to this conversation.

You’ll walk away with a fresh perspective on how to rebuild trust with your teen, hold realistic expectations, and keep the momentum of treatment going once they’re home.

“Treatment is actually the beginning of the journey” - Colin MacDonald

In this episode on parenting your teen after treatment, we discuss:

• How to stop your mind from spiraling when your teen slips up;
• Why rebuilding trust starts with believing in your child’s progress;
• What to do when your teen’s behavior triggers old fears;
• How to identify the core issue instead of turning it into a crisis;
• The role mentors and community play in lasting growth;
• Why “more treatment” isn’t always the answer;
• How parents can stay grounded and take care of themselves, too.

More about Colin MacDonald

Colin is a "former troubled teen" who spent his last two years of high school in wilderness and therapeutic boarding school. Based on his experience, he co-founded Not Therapy to provide peer-to-peer coaching for teens and young adults who feel like therapy hasn’t been the right fit or who are transitioning out of therapeutic programs back into the real world. As a young person who has been in his clients’ shoes, Colin’s approach is rooted in personal expertise.

Learn more about Not Therapy on their website or blog, or connect with them on LinkedIn.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

“I used to tell my son, ‘make any decision you want, but not the irreversible decision’, until he did.” - Andy Campbell

Andy shares his story with raw honesty, describing the years of living with his son’s suicidal thoughts, the heartbreaking day of his death, and the painful yet powerful lessons he has learned since.

As we talk, Andy shares about the illusion of control so many parents carry, the lifelong impact of grief, and the difficult but necessary process of forgiveness. His story offers hope and perspective for any parent who has felt powerless while watching their teen struggle.

This episode is tender, vulnerable, and deeply human. It’s about grief, yes, but also about resilience, healing, and the importance of speaking openly about teen suicide.

⚠️ This episode includes sensitive material about suicide. Please make sure anyone who listens is old enough and ready to hear it.

In this episode on teen suicide, we discuss:

• Andy’s personal story of losing his teenage son to suicide;
• The illusion of control parents often carry;
• How grief shapes relationships and perspective;
• The seductive nature of suicidal thoughts, and why hope matters;
• What parents need to hear when they feel powerless;
• And more.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

That’s why I’m so excited to be joined by filmmakers Mark Strauss and Vince Dixon, co-directors of the upcoming documentary Forest for the Trees: The Truth About Wilderness Therapy. With lived experience of loss, addiction, and healing in their own families, Mark and Vince share why they felt compelled to create a film that tells the whole story: the good, the bad, and everything in between.

As a parent who’s walked this road myself, I can’t tell you what a relief it is to hear someone say, “Let’s look at the whole truth.” Because when you’re facing impossible choices for your child, what you need most is understanding, not judgment.

In this episode on the truth about wilderness therapy, we discuss:

• Vince’s journey from losing his sister to fentanyl poisoning to creating films that spark healing conversations;
• Why Mark and Vince believe wilderness therapy is misunderstood and often misrepresented;
• The importance of showing all sides of wilderness stories: positive, negative, and complicated;
• How parents’ desperation and deep love factor into the decision to seek treatment;
• Why this documentary is being made now, and how you can get involved in supporting it.

Resources mentioned in this episode

You can learn more about ‘Forst for the Trees’ on their website, Instagram or Facebook.

Learn more about 'Sometimes I Imagine Your Funeral' on their website, or Instagram.

Learn more about Mark’s film 'The Funeral Photographer' on their website.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

That’s why this conversation with Dawn McCord resonated so deeply for me. Dawn is a fellow mom who’s walked the exhausting, heartbreaking path of teen addiction. Her son Carson went from experimenting with marijuana, to overdosing on opioids, and eventually finding healing and recovery through wilderness therapy.

Dawn and I talk about what it’s really like to live through this as a parent, the endless cycle of treatment programs, the fear of overdoses, the strain it can put on your marriage, and the impossible-feeling boundaries you sometimes have to hold. What I love most is that Dawn’s story doesn’t end in despair. Today, Carson is sober, thriving, and building a meaningful life in recovery.

Currently, Dawn, along with her film partners, is producing a film called “Forest for the Trees: The Truth about Wilderness Therapy” which is an in-depth documentary that shares the stories of families who have been positively and negatively impacted by the often-misunderstood industry. The team is in the process of procuring funding so they can start filming late fall 2025-early 2026. Please follow along at www.wildernessdocumentary.com

In this episode on surviving teen addiction, you’ll hear:

• How to know if your teen’s behavior is “normal” experimentation or signs of substance abuse;
• Why the rehab cycle can feel so endless and how to keep going without losing hope;
• The boundaries Dawn had to hold with her son, even when it broke her heart;
• How wilderness therapy became a turning point for their family;
• What it looks like to survive this season as a parent, and even find healing along the way;
• And much more.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

In this conversation with Liz Griffith, owner of Psychological Solutions, we dive into why comprehensive psychological testing for teens is such a critical piece of the puzzle. Liz shares how accurate testing helps families, therapists, and treatment programs move forward in your kid’s treatment with clarity, saving precious time, money, and heartache.

We explore the differences between psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists, what a full evaluation actually looks like, and how the right diagnosis can dramatically change the treatment path. Liz also opens up about her own daughter’s journey with anxiety and OCD, offering parents a real-life example of why getting clear answers matters so much.

In this episode on psychological testing for teens, we discuss:

• Why misdiagnosis is so common in teen mental health;
• The crucial differences between ADHD, autism, anxiety, and OCD;
• How testing can uncover both challenges and strengths in your teen;
• Why a “checkbox diagnosis” isn’t enough for lasting progress;
• How comprehensive evaluations give therapists the tools they need to help effectively;
• And more!

You can learn more about Psychological Solutions at www.psychologicalsolutions.org, or reach out to them through support@psychologicalsolutions.org or call 801-528-5140

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

In this conversation with licensed clinical counselor and life coach Virginia Townsand, we explore how over-helping can unintentionally create learned helplessness, and what you can do instead to foster independence and resilience in your teen.

Virginia and I talk about the difference between “doing for,” “doing with,” and letting your child “do for themselves,” and how shifting into that middle ground can build confidence, life skills, and self-advocacy. You’ll walk away with practical tools you can start using today to stop rescuing and start empowering.

In this episode on helping your teen build independence, we discuss:

• Why intention and impact often don’t match when parenting teens;
• How over-helping can lead to learned helplessness;
• The role of discomfort in building resilience and confidence in teens and young adults;
• Practical strategies to move from “doing for” to “doing with”;
• The long-term benefits of letting your teen struggle and grow;
• And more!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Connect with Virginia at www.janus-co.com

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• How parents unknowingly provide comforts that block internal change;
• Why lasting transformation only happens when teens feel consequences;
• The emotional toll on parents who “rescue” and how to handle it;
• Red flags that signal you might be enabling instead of supporting;
• What true support looks like and why it often feels so hard;
• And much more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• The key developmental stages of adolescence and how they show up in daily life;
• Why egocentrism is normal and how to balance it with responsibility;
• How to tell when behavior is “normal” for your teen and when it’s not;
• Why trusting your parenting gut matters more than any book or expert;
• Healthy ways to step back, regroup, and respond without escalating conflict;
• And many more insights from Jen!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• How lying often stems from fear of losing connection;
• Why consequences don’t usually solve dishonesty?
• What’s behind the impulse to hide, withhold, or bend the truth;
• How to validate your teen’s feelings without condoning the behavior;
• The importance of avoiding labels like “liar”;
• Ways to foster emotional safety and encourage honest conversations;
• What to say when your teen does tell the truth;
• Why this kind of parenting takes time, and how to stay the course;
• And valuable insights from Dana!

More about Dana VanRenterghem, LMSW (she/her) 
Dana is a therapist who believes in the healing power of relationships. With a background in residential treatment, trauma recovery, and family systems, she brings deep compassion and insight to her work with parents, teens, and young adults. Dana is part of the team at the Family Intensive Institute and draws from approaches like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and EMDR. Outside of therapy, she’s a marathon runner, jiu jitsu purple belt, and proud stepmom who knows firsthand that parenting is the toughest challenge of all.

More episodes with Dana: 

• #145 How to Apologize to Your Teen or Young Adult Kid With Dana VanRenterghem

Looking for support?
🗺️ Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍 Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• The difference between not knowing and not being willing
• Why fear and shame often sit at the root of resistance
• What to do when your teen knows something has to change, but still refuses help
• How to offer support without enabling or rescuing
• When it’s appropriate to set limits or natural consequences
• The deep inner work parents have to do to stay steady through the spiral
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• The biggest misconceptions parents often have about “troubled” teens
• Why most struggling kids are actually highly sensitive
• The power of curiosity, and how asking the right questions can shift everything
• What teens really feel when parents try to control their behavior
• How emotional regulation (not panic) helps parents lead effectively
• Why respect for your teen’s individuality is more powerful than advice
• The kind of leadership teens are secretly looking for
• What Enzo is doing now to support other teens and families on this journey

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

More about Enzo
Vicenzo "Enzo" Narciso grew up in Seattle, Washington, where struggles with substance use, skipping school, and falling in with the wrong crowd led him to drop out of high school. A turning point came when he was sent to Elements Wilderness Therapy in Utah, followed by treatment at a therapeutic boarding school. After returning home, Enzo relapsed, and a near-fatal overdose left him in a coma, after which he had to relearn basic tasks while beginning to rebuild his life.

Driven by perseverance and support, Enzo committed to long-term healing and personal growth. His path eventually led him to pursue higher education and later, a career helping others. Today, he shares his story and mentors kids from the next generation to inspire those navigating similar challenges, emphasizing that meaningful change is possible with consistent effort and courage.

You can reach out to Enzo at enzo@lifestrategiesmentors.com

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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I hope to see you there

• What Enzo remembers about being labeled a “behavioral” kid in elementary school
• How early therapy, ADHD meds, and divorce shaped his internal world
• The pull of belonging, and why he clung to his new friend group, even when it meant breaking rules
• His decision to run from treatment and how his family tried to intervene
• The two near-fatal overdoses that finally changed his mindset
• The surprising role of small, consistent goals in rebuilding his life
• Why he now works in treatment, and what he’s learned from helping teens just like he once was
• What he wishes every parent knew about kids who are struggling

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

More about Enzo
Vicenzo "Enzo" Narciso grew up in Seattle, Washington, where struggles with substance use, skipping school, and falling in with the wrong crowd led him to drop out of high school. A turning point came when he was sent to Elements Wilderness Therapy in Utah, followed by treatment at a therapeutic boarding school. After returning home, Enzo relapsed, and a near-fatal overdose left him in a coma, after which he had to relearn basic tasks while beginning to rebuild his life.

Driven by perseverance and support, Enzo committed to long-term healing and personal growth. His path eventually led him to pursue higher education and later, a career helping others. Today, he shares his story and mentors kids from the next generation to inspire those navigating similar challenges, emphasizing that meaningful change is possible with consistent effort and courage.

You can reach out to Enzo at enzo@lifestrategiesmentors.com

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• What self-care really means (beyond the clichés) when you’re raising a struggling teen or young adult;
• How to tell the difference between support and enmeshment;
• The connection between self-worth and healthy boundaries;
• Why parents often feel like their teen’s crisis is their crisis;
• How to model self-respect and emotional regulation for your child;
• The small, simple actions that can re-ground you, even on hard days;
• How scheduling time for yourself can actually free up energy and time;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• Why your role as a parent is just as important as anyone else at the IEP table;
• What to do before the meeting to feel prepared (and what to bring);
• How to write an effective “parental concern statement”;
• The difference between working with an advocate vs. a lawyer;
• Why kindness is a powerful advocacy tool;
• How to stay grounded during emotional meetings;
• How to involve your teen or young adult in their own support plan;
• What to do after the meeting to ensure your child’s needs are truly being met;
• And more!

More about Andrea Svendsen
Andrea has served as a special education teacher, alternative school director, principal, special education administrator and leader in a behavioral health organization, holding both a Master of Arts in Special Education and a Master of Arts in Educational Administration. This combination of diverse, practical and administrative expertise means she knows how to navigate complex school systems from every angle—so you don’t have to.

Andrea founded Svendsen and Associates, where they believe every child deserves and is entitled to an education that meets them where they are—no exceptions. This foundation is critical for life-long success and to maximize independence. 
Their mission is simple: to stand by your side and champion your child’s unique needs. With empathy, expert guidance, and a genuine passion for seeing your child succeed, they’ll work together with you to ensure your family’s voice is heard in every conversation.

You can connect with Andrea on her website, send her an email at Andrea@svendsenllc.com, or send a text or call her at 6309155776.


Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com


You can support the show by:

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• Why teens returning from treatment often feel more mature than their peers;
• How to validate your teen’s experience without rushing them to “get back to normal”;
• What real community can look like, and why it’s not always a big group;
• Small but powerful ways to help your teen rebuild connection & community (without overstepping);
• How to model healthy community and friendships in your own life;
• Why online relationships matter more than you might think;
• What to do when your teen doesn’t show interest in anything;
• Ideas for low-pressure, real-world ways to help them meet like-minded peers;
• And more!

More about Hayley Caddes
Hayley Caddes is a "former troubled teen" who spent her last years of high school in wilderness and residential treatment programs. Based on her experience, she co-founded Not Therapy to provide peer-to-peer coaching for teens and young adults who feel like therapy hasn’t been the right fit or who are transitioning out of therapeutic programs back into the real world. As young people who have been in their clients’ shoes, Hayley & Collin’s approach is rooted in personal expertise.

Learn more about Not Therapy on their website or blog, connect with them on LinkedIn, or directly book a free call.

Listen to our previous episode with Hayley: 97. Parenting Tips from Former Troubled Teens Hayley and Collin from ‘Not Therapy’


Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• Why your teen might call structure “control”, and how to respond;
• Ways to reinforce boundaries while still respecting your teen’s autonomy;
• How to offer choice and accountability without giving up authority;
• The role of deadlines, check-ins, and letting natural consequences play out;
• Why your values matter more than avoiding conflict;
• The power of listening without renegotiating everything;
• How to shift from “nagging” to supportive accountability;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

It’s a common and painful dynamic for many struggling parents: your teen is having a hard time, and suddenly the grandparents or extended family start weighing in with passive-aggressive comments, outdated advice, or judgmental questions. You’re already doing everything you can to support your struggling teen, and now it feels like you have to defend yourself, too.

In this episode, Seth and I talk about how to set boundaries with grandparents and extended family members when their “support” actually undermines your parenting. We explore the emotional toll it takes when you start parenting from someone else’s perspective, how that impacts your teen or young adult kid, and how to reclaim your authority and clarity in the midst of confusing family dynamics.

We also talk about where to turn instead, how to identify the right kind of support, and what resourcing can look like when emotions are high and you feel alone.

If you’re a struggling parent trying to support your teen while navigating family pressure and judgment, we recorded this episode for you.

In this episode on setting boundaries with extended family, we discuss:

• Why parenting a struggling kid often brings out unsolicited advice from extended family;
• The generational gap in emotional support and what validation really looks like;
• How grandparents may form an opinion without understanding the full picture;
• The impact on your teen when you start parenting based on others' opinions;
• How to recognize your emotional needs and release shame and guilt;
• Three types of resourcing when you’re feeling overwhelmed;
• How to protect your teen’s story, and decide who’s safe to share it with;
• Practical ways to hold boundaries with grandparents and other family members;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• What made wilderness therapy feel too extreme for Kathy’s teen and how she knew it;
• The emotional toll of trying to “solve” a struggling child;
• How Kathy and her husband came to different conclusions on what steps to take to help their teen daughter and family;
• Why therapist Jen Murphy focuses on family systems work instead of “fixing the teen”;
• What a custom family intensive actually looks like (hint: fun, therapeutic, and real);
• How family dynamics, sibling relationships, and parent alignment shape long-term outcomes;
• What continued integration support looks like after the intensive;
• The surprising impact this experience had on the whole family, and why Kathy would do it again in a heartbeat;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

About Jen Murphy
Jen Murphy is a Mental Health Therapist and Family Coach with 25+ years of experience supporting families through treatment and transition. She’s the co-developer of the H.O.M.E. parenting model and offers both virtual and in-person coaching to help families build healthier patterns, improve communication, and strengthen relationships.

Learn more about Jen’s work at www.altitudefamilycoaching.com

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• What to do when your teen shares something but doesn’t want your advice;
• How unsolicited advice can feel belittling, even when you mean well;
• The difference between emotional safety and intellectual solutions;
• Why teens are more likely to come to you when they feel respected;
• Simple questions to ask before giving advice;
• How to support autonomy without stepping back completely;
• Why learning to “hold space” is a skill worth practicing for parents of struggling teens;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• Why apologizing to your teen or young adult feels so difficult;
• The three-step process of genuine repair;
• How to take accountability without shame;
• Maintaining your role as a caregiver;
• Modeling emotional intelligence for your teens;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

More about Dana VanRenterghem
Dana VanRenterghem, LMSW (She/Her/Hers) is a social worker who believes in the healing power of relationships.

Dana graduated from Central College with a Bachelor of Arts degree in sociology and a minor in communication studies; she was also a proud member of the Central College softball team during that time. Upon completion of undergrad, she spent most of her young career working with at-risk youth in a multitude of roles. Dana has provided direct care to teenagers in multiple residential settings, supported families in reunification and permanency efforts, and advocated for LGBTQ youth in the non-profit realm. She has a passion for helping people grow as individuals while reconnecting with loved ones who have been estranged.

Dana earned her Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver with a concentration in mental health and trauma and has a foundational belief that humans need others to heal. Dana finds joy in seeing others reach their full potential and believes that empathy is at the core of meaningful engagement. Prior to joining the Family Intensive Institute team Dana served as the clinical director of a residential treatment center helping young adult women + heal from trauma and attachment wounds using the Integrated Attachment Model (IAM), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• Why empathy doesn’t equal approval, and how to hold space without condoning;
• What supportive parenting really looks like during a crisis;
• How to stay grounded when your teen says they want help… and then backs out;
• The difference between rescuing and respecting your teen’s process;
• Practical ideas for setting boundaries without emotional reactivity;
• What to do when natural consequences are out of your control;
• Why ignoring a behavior can actually feel more like condoning it;
• And more on parenting without enabling!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• Why lasting behavior change starts with shifting internal beliefs;
• How to help your teen or young adult clarify their values;
• What emotional self-reliance really looks like (and how to support it);
• How to talk with your teen about values without triggering resistance;
• Why your parenting mindset matters just as much as your strategy;
• How to support a teen who seems “done” with therapy after treatment;
• And much more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• What transactional parenting is and why it often shows up during tough seasons;
• How the “I give, you give” pattern damages trust and connection;
• What to say when you feel used or taken for granted by your teen;
• How to spot (and shift) transactional tendencies in your parenting;
• The importance of modeling healthy, reciprocal relationships;
• Why it’s compliance but connection that is at the foundation for long-term change;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• Why it's so hard to see your own expectations and how they show up when your kid doesn't meet them;
• The emotional impact expectations can have on your child’s sense of acceptance;
• Why bringing your kid home from treatment requires more flexibility and less pressure;
• The difference between boundaries and expectations, and why that distinction matters;
• What parents can do to foster trust and connection during the transition home from treatment;
• How letting go of control can create space for a more honest relationship with your child and healthier family dynamics;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• What shifts when your teen becomes a young adult, and what that means for your role as a parent;
• How to move from teaching values to trusting growth;
• What accountability looks like for teens vs. young adults;
• Why letting natural consequences play out is essential for development;
• How to recognize when you’re rescuing vs. supporting;
• The internal work required to stop overstepping and start letting go;
• How to raise a self-sufficient human being by leading with trust;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember, parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• What anxiety can look like in teens and young adults, and why it’s often misunderstood;
• The difference between normal stress and anxiety that needs attention;
• Internalizing vs. externalizing anxiety;
• What the cycle of anxiety looks like and how to help your teen break it;
• What to say when your teen opens up about their struggles;
• How to encourage emotional regulation without trying to “fix” the problem;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• Why peer connection is crucial for teens after treatment;
• What your child may be feeling as they transition home or to a new environment;
• The disconnect teens often experience when trying to rejoin old friend groups;
• How to help your child find community without pushing or panicking;
• Why shared understanding and belonging are key to maintaining change;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

More about Ciara Fanlo
Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• Why parents often abandon themselves in their teen’s crisis
• The difference between being present and being on constant alert
• Red flags that you may be stuck in hyper-vigilance
• The guilt that comes with reclaiming your own life—and how to release it
• How caring for yourself can actually help your child more

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• What the “pendulum swing” looks like in parenting and teen behavior;
• Why we often shift from one extreme to the other when trying to change;
• The emotional discomfort that fuels reactive patterns;
• How to find a middle ground that supports growth and connection in parenting;
• Why unrealistic expectations (for you or your teen) can lead to disappointment;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• The difference between narrative and fact, and how to tell them apart;
• Why parents often get stuck in old stories, even when growth is happening;
• The unconscious beliefs you may be carrying about what a good parent "should" do;
• What narratives your struggling child may be believing about themselves;
• A practical exercise for surfacing your limiting beliefs as a parent;
• The key question to regularly ask yourself;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• What time dysmorphia is and why it impacts teens and young adults but also ourselves as parents;
• Why this is an executive functioning issue, not laziness or disrespect;
• How to respond with curiosity instead of frustration;
• A three-step framework for helping your teen manage their time;
• How to support your teen or young adult in building accountability and self-awareness without shame;
• And more!

More about Chrissy Nichols
Chrissy Nichols is an executive function coach for learners of all ages but specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. After more than 22 years in the classroom, Chrissy's brain hacks help clients see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them--they just need to learn how to rewire their brain.
Chrissy's work is aimed to empower her student clients to empower themselves. For parents, this means taking school and academics off their parenting plates so they can simply love their child.
See how Chrissy’s thought concepts can become your executive function concepts over at www.thechrissyconcept.com

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• How to recognize when a conversation with your teen isn’t going anywhere;
• The impact of entering a discussion with an agenda;
• How to increase self-awareness and shift to understanding rather than control;
• Practical ways to disengage in a way that strengthens, rather than harms, your relationship or family dynamics;
• What to ask your teen to foster healthy communication and more open, productive conversations;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• Why it can feel like your love isn’t enough to help your struggling teen;
• How a teen’s self-worth affects their ability to accept love and support;
• Why struggling teens often push away relationships, even when they need them;
• The power of witnessing and letting your child know you’re there for them;
• What to do when your teen isn’t ready for help;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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• The role of home visits in the treatment and healing process;
• What your teen is looking for when they come home from treatment for a visit;
• How unspoken expectations can create tension & how to talk about them;
• Balancing structure, autonomy, and connection during the home visit;
• What to do if you feel hesitant about a home visit as a parent;
• Why a challenging visit doesn’t mean failure & and how to move forward.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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• The unique path and experience of siblings during family crises;
• The different roles the sibling can take on in the family dynamics, for example as a peacemaker or by withdrawing;
• How much to share with your sibling about what’s going on with your struggling teen?;
• The importance of building connection and community when transitioning home from wilderness or other treatment programs;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

More about Ethan Gordon
Ethan is the founder of Bold Ascents, a mentorship organization dedicated to supporting youth across the country, aged 10-24, in their transition home from treatment programs. With a decade of experience in the mental health field, Ethan has worked with a wide variety of populations, including survivors of sexual assault, individuals experiencing homelessness, and adolescents struggling with mental health challenges.
Having been a sibling to a young person who went through wilderness therapy and losing his brother at a young age to addiction, he has a personal connection to his work.
At Bold Ascents, Ethan helps adolescents and young adults recognize their resilience, navigate the challenges of daily life, and build a foundation for success. Through his client-centered approach, Ethan fosters a deep sense of connection and validation, empowering youth to embrace their unique paths forward.

You can support the show by:
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And remember parents, the chan

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• What makes communication healthy or unhealthy;
• The difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication;
• How your communication style influences your parenting approach;
• Why structure helps teens feel safer, even when they resist it;
• Practical strategies to shift toward more balanced, effective communication with your teen and family;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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I hope to see you there

• What overwhelm can look like in your teen’s behavior;
• How to help your teen navigate the pressure of expectations;
• The role of emotional congruence in strengthening your connection;
• Why validation is key to supporting an overwhelmed teen;
• The importance of setting boundaries before overwhelm takes over;
• How vulnerability can foster understanding and growth in your relationship;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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I hope to see you there

• Why the pursuit of control can often exhaust us without bringing real change;
• How teens experience their own shame and self-blame in these situations;
• What it means to shift from blame to acceptance;
• Practical ways to find a healthy sense of control, even in the hardest moments;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

More about Ciara Fanlo
Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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I hope to see you there

• Why the ongoing work of parenting and personal growth is as much about the journey as the destination;
• How to hold boundaries that are firm yet adaptable, because parenting is as human as it gets;
• How to recognize and resist falling back into old habits when the “dark wolf” of self-doubt or fatigue creeps in;
• What it means to keep showing up and do our work as a parent, even when we feel tired or reach a goal;
• And more.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com


You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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I hope to see you there

• The intense emotions that drove my actions and how I’ve worked to process and release the shame;
• How repairing with myself was a crucial first step before I could repair with my teen;
• The lessons my son and I learned about conflict, repair, and resilience through our journey.

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve failed as a parent, this episode is a reminder that it’s never too late to repair, rebuild, and reconnect with your teen. It’s a process, and sometimes it takes time, but it’s always worth it.


Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com


You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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Sleep isn’t just about feeling rested, it’s foundational to every aspect of health. From learning and mood to metabolism and risk-taking behaviors, a lack of quality sleep can have profound effects on our teens. Dr. Funke explains how poor sleep impacts their mental, physical, and emotional well-being and offers actionable strategies to help your teen get the rest they need to thrive.

So, how can we encourage our teens to prioritize sleep without making it a battle? Dr. Funke shares simple yet effective approaches, from connecting the benefits of sleep to what matters most to your teen (whether it’s better athletic performance, improved grades, or clearer skin) to creating an optimal sleep environment.

In this episode on how to influence better sleep for our teens, we discuss:

• The effects of poor sleep on teens, including mood, memory, and physical health;
• How to motivate your teen to prioritize sleep without forcing it;
• Practical tips for setting up an optimal sleep environment;
• The impact of technology on sleep and how to address it as a family;
• Why we sometimes wake up anxious and how to handle nighttime worries;
• Sleep as a skill: retraining the brain for better rest;
• And more!

This conversation is packed with insights and tools to help you support your teen in building healthy sleep habits, so let’s dive in!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support?
You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

More about Dr. Funke Brown
Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown is a triple board-certified sleep physician and the founder of Restful Sleep MD. She is also the best-selling author of Beyond Tired—A Sleep Physician’s Guide to Solving Your Child’s Sleep Problems for Good.
Dr. Funke Brown helps women and their children prioritize sleep, achieve optimal health, thrive, and live to their fullest potential.
As a busy physician and mom of two, she understands the impact of sleep deprivation on our mental, physical, and emotional health and has made it her mission to help others make sleep a priority. She also works with organizations and businesses to improve their health by incorporating healthy sleep into their wellness journey. She’s a consultant and a speaker on regional, national, and international platforms.

You can learn more about Dr. Funke Brown on her website (www.restfulsleepmd.com), Instagram or Facebook (@restfulsleepmd), or LinkedIn (Dr. Funke Brown).

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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• The disconnect between parents’ expectations and teens’ lived experiences of change;
• Why transition periods after treatment are so challenging and how to approach them with compassion;
• How to identify subtle signs of growth and development in your teen;
• Balancing boundaries with an understanding of your teen’s priorities;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

More about Ciara Fanlo
Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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I hope to see you there

So even when your teen intellectually understands your advice, they don’t have their own memory bank yet of setbacks, disappointments, and triumphs, that they can connect it to to really integrate the lesson. 

So what does that mean? In short, it means that we should let our kids make their own mistakes, no matter how difficult that may be. Let them build their own library of experiences.

“Parenting is not about saving your child from experience; it’s about helping them find themselves through the experience.” - Beth Hillman

So how can you best support your teen in doing this? Let’s discuss it in today’s episode.

In this episode on why your kid shouldn’t take your advice, we discuss:

• Why teens don’t always listen to advice, and why they shouldn’t;
• Understanding the gap between a parent’s lived experience and a teen’s need to build their own;
• How heartbreak, disappointment, and mistakes serve as the real teachers for teens;
• How parents can best support, encourage, and influence their teen (without enabling) to learn through their experience;
• Dealing with frustration, fear, and the urge to protect as a parent while allowing your kid space for growth;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

More about Ciara Fanlo
Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• My recent struggles with anxiety and what they’ve taught me;
• How anxiety often masks deeper emotions, like sadness or fear;
• The transformative power of understanding and accepting anxiety;
• Unshaming past actions to regain control and self-compassion.

Please know, you are not alone.

Other episodes on this topic:
61. How to Unshame Your Parent Regrets With David Bedrick - Part 1
62. How to Unshame the Identified Patient in Your Home With David Bedrick - Part 2

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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I hope to see you there

• How to shift from controlling to supporting your child’s journey;
• Why prioritizing impact over intent is key in parent-child communication;
• The surprising ways letting go can improve your relationship with your struggling teen and family dynamics in general;
• How struggles shape kids into who they’re meant to be, and why parents shouldn’t stand in the way.
• And much more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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I hope to see you there

• How Michael abused the privileges he was given during wilderness;
• The importance of holding boundaries after treatment;
• How parents can support their teen’s ongoing growth;
• Michael’s experiences after treatment, from a 3-month ‘honeymoon’ period to a new ’storm’;
• The support his parents gave him after treatment and the boundaries they held up;
• The importance of doing your own work and also finding out what your kid is working on and supporting them in that work;
• Why having a mentor can be incredibly beneficial for your teen after treatment;
• And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

More about Michael Wangsgard
Michael is a former struggling teen who went to wilderness turned mentor for struggling teens. You can connect with Michael via email at wangsgardm@gmail.com or give him a call at 8014308455.

You can support the show by:
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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• Why the "normal" path is no longer the standard;
• How societal shifts are changing what success looks like for our young adult kids nowadays;
• What it means to believe in your young adult, even when their path looks unfamiliar;
• Joanna’s biggest advice for parents when your young adult is feeling miserable on the path they’re taking;
• The life experience teens gain in treatment;
• And much more.

Let’s poke holes in rigid thinking and redefine success, together.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

More about Joanna Lilley
Joanna Lilley, MA, NCC, is a Therapeutic Consultant working with young adults only. Since 2016, Lilley Consulting has been helping families and young adults find treatment and resource options during the most important time in adulthood.  Joanna dedicates herself to working solely with emerging adults who unravel before going to college, when they land on campus, or right after college graduation. Young adulthood can be messy, but it doesn’t have to be if you find the right resources when needed.

You can connect with Lilley on her website or Facebook.
Have a listen to Lilley’s podcast ‘Success is Subjective’ where I was also a guest speaker.

You can support the show by:
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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• Why focusing on the positive is more effective than focusing on the negative;
• How “pointing positive” can guide teens toward what they want to achieve;
• How our attention as parents influences our teen’s motivation to change;
• Simple shifts in word choice to emphasize progress and reinforce growth;
• Why sustainable change often happens in smaller, gradual steps over time;
• And more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
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I hope to see you there

• Why our bodies sometimes react before our minds even have a chance;
• How trauma can make it hard to know what’s truly safe or dangerous;
• What over- and under-responses look like as a parent of a struggling teen in treatment or recovery;
• How to bring self-compassion to the way we show up, even if it’s not perfect;
• Different therapeutic approaches, including tips for finding the right fit for you or your family;
• And much more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• What fear does to us as parents and how to recognize its impact;
• The kinds of fear our teens might experience, especially coming out of treatment;
• What helps parents and teens work through their fears?;
• Practical strategies for parents to manage their own fears while supporting their teens;
• How understanding love languages can help us better understand our struggling teens;
• And much more

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• The emotional guilt parents feel when taking care of themselves while their teen is in treatment;
• The importance of self-care for parents and how it affects your ability to support your child;
• How modeling self-care can project its importance to your child;
• Balancing self-care with parenting responsibilities;
• What does true self-care look like for parents?;
• The 3 main ways to fill you cup and practice self-care as a parent;
• And more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

• Teens showing different behaviors at home vs. in therapy;
• The frustration parents feel when their child “works the system.”;
• Actions as a more accurate reflection of what's really happening;
• Opening the conversation between your teen, their therapist, and you;
• Why your teen might feel the need to present themselves differently with their providers;
• And more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there

We discuss the confusion that can arise when trying to balance control and support, particularly when parenting a struggling teen. It’s not just about setting strict rules but more about understanding how to teach our kids how to treat us through our own actions and the boundaries we set. We want to influence without trying to control, allowing for growth while maintaining a healthy home environment.

One key takeaway from our conversation is that zero-tolerance policies can set kids up for failure, particularly when dealing with issues like addiction. So let’s explore other options in today’s episode. 

“If I lived with anybody and ALL they could see are the things that are problematic that I’m doing, I would have a really hard time being around that person. I think that’s a relationship destroyer” - Trevor Allen

If you’re wondering how to create a supportive yet structured environment for your child without taking their choices personally, this episode is for you.

In this episode on rules vs. boundaries vs. expectations, we discuss: 

• The differences between rules, boundaries, and expectations in parenting;
• How to influence your struggling teen without controlling them;
• Managing yourself and maintaining a healthy home environment;
• Supporting your teen despite poor decisions and bad behavior;
• The importance of focusing on what you do, not just what you say;
• Why controlling the situation by controlling your teen doesn’t work;
• Being consistent with rules vs. being flexible to meet your teen’s needs;
• The impact of only seeing the negative and how to shift focus to positive progress;
• Why nuance and flexibility in rules can improve family dynamics.

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
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As parents, we can never truly know. But today’s guest, Ciara Fanlo, has been through it herself. According to her, the emotional stages our teens go through in treatment are very similar to the seven stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance & hope, and processing grief. 

So what does that look like for your teen? In this episode, Ciara shares her thoughts and experiences going through each of these steps. Like when she was going through the ‘denial’ phase and remembers thinking: “There’s no way I’ll be staying here for 12 weeks. My mom loves me, when I write her there’s no way she’s going to let me stay that long.”

I cannot describe how valuable it is to actually hear the thoughts of someone who’s been through it all themselves, as a teen. Tune in to hear Ciara’s mindblowing insights.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The emotional stages your teen or young adult will experience in treatment, similar to the 7 stages of grief;
• How shock affects both teens and parents when entering treatment;
• Why resistance and anger can be healthy steps in the process;
• Processing grief over lost time and emotional struggles.
• How to manage your own expectations as a parent through the ups and downs
• The importance of letting your teen move through these stages at their own pace

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

More about Ciara Fanlo

Ciara Fanlo is a former “troubled teen” who now supports struggling adolescents and their families. After recovering from her own challenging years, she founded Homing Instinct to share what she learned from her experiences. Ciara now provides personalized mentorship and coaching for teens as they navigate the transformative and tumultuous journey of becoming a young adult in today’s world. 

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

✨ Small GROUP COACHING program starting March 3rd, 2026 ✨
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups 
I hope to see you there