🔥 What do you do with pressure? Not avoid it. Not suppress it. Not label it as the enemy. Because here’s the truth most people miss: pressure is just energy without a system. ⚡️

And energy—whether it shows up as thoughts, эмоtions, money, or even restless leg tapping—isn’t the problem. The problem is stagnation. When energy has nowhere to go, it turns on you. It becomes anxiety. It becomes overwhelm. It becomes that quiet, creeping sense that something is “off,” even when everything looks fine on the outside.

Think about calories. 🍔 Calories are energy. When you don’t use them, they don’t disappear—they accumulate. And past a certain point, accumulation becomes toxicity. The same is true for every form of energy in your life:

💭 Too many thoughts → mental noise

❤️ Too many feelings → emotional overload

💰 Too much money → unexpected stress

⚡️ Too much pressure → internal friction

Most people don’t hate pressure. They hate not knowing what to do with it.

So here’s the shift: instead of asking, “How do I get rid of this pressure?” ask, “What is this pressure trying to power?” 🔋

Because pressure isn’t something to eliminate. It’s something to channel.

⏱️ Minute-by-Minute Breakdown (5-Minute Flow)

0:00–1:00 — The Question That Exposes Everything 🤔

What do you do when pressure builds? Most people freeze or avoid. Without a system, pressure feels like a problem instead of potential.

1:00–2:00 — Reframing Pressure as Energy ⚡️

Pressure = energy. Just like calories. When unused, it accumulates. When accumulated, it becomes toxic. The issue isn’t pressure—it’s mismanagement.

2:00–3:00 — The Many Forms of Excess Energy 🌊

Energy isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, mental, financial, social. Too much of any form—without an outlet—creates overwhelm and distortion.

3:00–4:00 — Diagnosis: You’re Not Broken 🧠

The diagnosis isn’t anxiety, stress, or overthinking. It’s excess energy without direction. What feels like a burden is actually unused capacity.

4:00–5:00 — The Prescription: Build a Flow System 🔄

Imagine a life where energy flows:

In → processed → refined → expressed → released

Less congestion. More movement. More clarity. More power.

The goal isn’t less energy—it’s better circulation.

💡 Closing Thought:

Pressure is a signal. Energy is a gift. But without movement, both become toxic.

Build the system—and everything changes🚀

Join our free SKOOL community to discuss this with us live!

🔥 INTRO — “Get Out of Your Own Way”

What happens when you stop forcing… and start allowing? This conversation dives into channeling—not as something mystical and distant, but as something deeply human: the ability to get out of your own way and let something bigger move through you. From flow states to fear, ego to expansion, this is a raw exploration of what it means to open the channel—mentally, spiritually, and practically. If you’ve ever felt blocked, stuck, or quietly suffocated by your own limits… this is your invitation to breathe again. 🌬️

⏱️ TIMELINE BREAKDOWN (20 min total)

0:00–2:30 — Opening the Portal 🚪✨

Setting the frame: asking for help (spiritual + practical), transformation, and expansion. Energy is curious, open, and ready to explore deeper layers.

2:30–5:00 — What Is Channeling? 📡🧠

Channeling defined as accessing the higher self and collective consciousness. Not performance—allowance. A shift from thinking → receiving.

5:00–7:30 — Flow vs Blockage 🌊🚫

Contrast: channeling vs choking. The idea that much of life is lived in quiet constriction—and that opening up creates new possibilities.

7:30–10:00 — Akashic Records & Infinite Intelligence 📚♾️

Exploring the concept of universal memory—past + future. Channeling as tapping into something vast, beyond individual identity.

10:00–12:30 — Skepticism, Ego, and Responsibility ⚖️🧩

Bridging spirituality with logic. Channeling reframed as “getting out of your own way.” Ego as both tool and obstacle.

12:30–15:00 — Flow State & Peak Performance 🎯🔥

Neurology meets spirituality. Artists, athletes, performers—being “checked out” yet fully in control. Effortless mastery.

15:00–17:30 — Fear, Awe, and Expansion 🧗‍♂️😳

The Alex Honnold example: facing the impossible. Fear isn’t removed—it’s transcended. Intimidation = proximity to greatness.

17:30–19:00 — Loneliness & Collective Connection 🤝🌍

Channeling reframed as connection. The “we” replaces the “me.” A response to modern isolation—you’re not alone.

19:00–20:00 — Pain → Growth → Redemption 🔥➡️🌱

From PTSD to PTG. Pain as fuel, not just something to escape. Channeling as a pathway to transform suffering into strength.

💭 CLOSING THOUGHT

Channeling isn’t about becoming someone else—it’s about removing what you’re not. When the noise drops, something powerful speaks. The question is… are you willing to listen? 👂✨

Free SKOOL group where we discuss these issues live!

✨ What’s your favorite thing in the world?

Is it a person? A number in your bank account? A memory? A city? A feeling?

👶 Today, we start with something deceptively simple: a toddler, a delayed photo book, & a moment that hits harder than you’d expect.

💥 Beneath your “favorite things”… there’s something deeper running the show:

👉 A feeling. A pattern. A system you can actually control.

🧠 This episode is your first step into taking back authorship over your inner world.

Let’s play with that.

1:00🌍 The Big Question

👉 “What’s your favorite thing in the world?”

🎯 Expanding categories: physical, emotional, mental, financial, social, moral

🧩 Opening curiosity loop

2:00👶 A Story

📚 Daughter + missing family photo book

⏳ Delay → accountability

🎥 The daycare video moment (emotional trigger)

⚡ Immediate behavior change

3:00💖 Obsession & Attachment

📖 The photo book becomes her favorite thing

🧠 Personalization: your favorite could be a person, place, or object

🔁 Multiplicity of “favorites”

4:00🧬 The Deeper Insight

🔍 All “favorite things” converge to one thing:

👉 A feeling

💡 Transition from external object → internal state

5:00💰 Concrete Example (Financial)

🏠 Low mortgage rate = positive feeling

😬 Regret about not borrowing more = negative feeling

⚖️ Same domain → opposite emotional outputs

🧠 Insight: interpretation creates experience

6:00🎮 Agency & Control

🧠 You generate these feelings

⚙️ “Neuro-hormonal architecture”

🎯 Moving from external → internal locus of control

🎲 Treat it like a game

✨ Keep it light, playful, and trainable

🔥 CLOSING VIBE

You’re not just experiencing your life…

You’re producing it.

🎛️ And this? This is just level one.

Level 1 is simply noticing. Catching the moment where an external thing—your daughter, your mortgage, a memory, a missed opportunity—gets translated into an internal state. Most people live their entire lives at this level without realizing they’re even in a game.

Level 2 is naming it. “This is regret.” “This is gratitude.” “This is attachment.” The act of labeling starts to create distance. And distance creates optionality.

Level 3 is intervention. Gently asking: is this the interpretation I want to run? Not forcing positivity. Not denying reality. Just recognizing that multiple interpretations are available—and selecting more deliberately among them.

Level 4 is design. You begin to structure your environment, your inputs, your habits in a way that makes certain feelings more likely to arise. You stack the deck in favor of the internal states you actually want to live in.

And beyond that? That’s where this goes from a practice… to a kind of authorship.

📖 You stop reacting to the story.

✍️ You start writing it. AUTHentic AUTHORity & AUTHORship.

So for now, keep it simple. Pick one “favorite thing” today…Trace it back to the feeling it gives you…And just notice:

👀 How much of that feeling is actually coming from you—your interpretation, your attention, your meaning-making—and how much are you unconsciously outsourcing to the thing itself?

Because once you see that clearly, the illusion starts to break. The object loses a little of its grip. The circumstance loses a little of its authority. And you gain something back:

🎯 The ability to generate, shift, and sustain your internal state with intention. Not perfectly. Not all at once. But progressively.

And that’s the game.

A game where the prize isn’t control over everything…but increasing influence over the one place it actual

Join SKOOL for free, where we discuss these topics live!🌱✨🎙️

🍭 How many licks does it take to get to the center of your life?

Not a joke. A warning, & logical conclusion  

Every breath, every scroll and shrug, you’re taking a lick off of your life.

It feels like nothing is happening. But that’s the illusion & the solution  

⚠️ You’re always, in every moment, becoming something, or maintaining what you already are.

The only question is: are you designing it? or defaulting into it? How much agency do you have in your own fate, destiny and fortune?

breaking it down:

👉 Your lifestyle isn’t what you say, it’s what you repeat

👉 Your suffering isn’t your pain, it’s your resistance

👉 And your future isn’t ahead of you, it’s embedded in your next move

Let’s get into it. 🎯

⏱️ Minute-by-Minute Timeline

⏱️ 0:00–1:00 🍭 The “Lick” Metaphor

• Life = a Tootsie Pop you’re constantly licking
• Each moment feels insignificant… but it’s not
• ⚠️ The danger: thinking nothing is happening

⏱️ 1:00–2:00 🧠 The Illusion of Stagnation

• Day-to-day feels static, but that’s actually the feeling of reality compounding and becoming more concrete 🧱
• Present-moment advice = antidote to this illusion🪞
• Awareness interrupts unconscious living 💡

⏱️ 2:00–3:30 🧩 Lifestyle = The Core System

• Lifestyle = habits + routines + personality
• It compounds silently over time
• You’re not living randomly—you’re executing a system

⏱️ 3:30–5:00 🔑 The 6 Domains of Lifestyle

• Physical 🏃
• Emotional ❤️
• Mental 🧠
• Financial 💰
• Social 👥
• Moral ⚖️
• Most people don’t design these: they inherit them

⏱️ 5:00–6:30 🧬 Default vs Designed Life

• Your lifestyle is mostly programmed by past + others
• That’s normal… but not optimal
• Growth begins when you take authorship

⏱️ 6:30–8:00 🔥 Pain vs Suffering

• Pain = conditions
• Suffering = resistance, resentment, self-pity
• 💡 You can be:
  • Poor & peaceful
  • Rich & suffering
  • Rich & peaceful
  • Poor & suffering
• Lifestyle determines your relationship to reality

⏱️ 8:00–9:30 💸 You Are Always “Spending” Life

• You can’t stop spending your life
• But you can choose what you spend it on:
  • Time ⏰
  • Energy ⚡
  • Attention 👁️
  • Money 💵
• 👉 That = your lifestyle

⏱️ 9:30–10:30 🌐 Interconnected Lives

• Your lifestyle affects others
• Their lifestyle affects you
• Life is a shared ecosystem, not a solo game
• We are networked

⏱️ 10:30–11:30 🎭 You’re Always Performing

• You’re never not expressing your lifestyle
• Every thought, step, breath = identity in action
• Lifestyle = your visible identity system

⏱️ 11:30–12:30 ⛳ PAR: Punishment & Reward

• Life outcomes = feedback loop
• Golf metaphor:
  • On par ✅
  • Under par 🏆
  • Over par ❌
• Your lifestyle determines your “score”

⏱️ 12:30–13:15 🧪 The H2O vs Water Story

• Knowledge shapes outcomes
• Misunderstanding symbols = unnecessary struggle
• 📚 Literacy (in life) = leverage

⏱️ 13:15–14:00 🚀 Closing: The Next Lick

• All content = boring, amusing, informative, or transformative
• Lifestyle is everything you do
• Start now:
  • Next breath 🌬️
  • Next action 🎯
• 🏆 Rule of thumb: choose engagement + enthusiasm
• Champions don’t wai

Join SKOOL for free, where we discuss these important life issues in group format!🤝❤️

🎙️ 🔥 “What if the best version of you isn’t the most intense… but the most at ease?”

Hopelessness has much less evidence supporting it than hopefulness does.

We’ve been sold the idea that anger means awareness, fear means intelligence, and sadness means sincerity.

But what if all three are just… indulgence in self-pity?

Today, we’re unpacking a paradox:

💡 How to be deeply responsible… while completely carefree.

Because the real edge isn’t in reacting to the world, it’s in mastering your posture.

Caring too much is obviously a liability when we get emotionally intoxicated and lose our ability to be potent agents of change in reality.

To restate and orient ourselves: hopelessness has much less evidence supporting it than hopefulness does.

⏱️ Timeline (8 Minutes)

0:00–1:00 — The Paradox 🤯

• “Responsibly carefree” sounds like a contradiction
• Set up the tension: responsibility vs. emotional detachment
• Pose the core question: Who actually performs best?

1:00–2:00 — The Problem with Emotional Reactivity 🌪️

• Break down the “low valence triad”:
   😡 Anger
   😢 Sadness
   😨 Fear
• Frame them as:
   
  • Volatility
  • Contraction
  • Irritability
• Key idea: These are suboptimal performance states

2:00–3:00 — The Hidden Engine of These Emotions ⚙️

• All three are motivational and self-terminating
• The internal script:
   👉 “I’ll be okay if and when…”
• They’re directional, trying to escape discomfort
• Introduce: gap between vision and perception

3:00–4:00 — Fragmentation vs. Integrity 🧩

• Emotional pain = perceived fragmentation
• Examples:
   
  • Insult
  • Disunion
  • “Gaping wound”
• Define the “delta”:
   📉 Vision of what could be vs. perception of what is
• Emotions attempt to close that gap

4:00–5:00 — The Radical Alternative 🧘

• Enter the mindset shift:
   👉 “I’ll be okay even if…”
• The archetypes:
   
  • The stoic
  • The spiritualist
  • The peaceful operator
• Emotional baseline becomes non-contingent

5:00–6:00 — Rage as a System Feature 📱

• Introduce the cultural narrative:
   🪧 “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention”
• Contrast with modern reality:
   
  • Rage is incentivized
  • Attention is monetized
• Big Tech loop:
   
  • Trigger 😤
  • Agitate 😖
  • Offer relief 🛍️
• Insight: Outrage is engineered and manipulated, not enlightened and organically aware

6:00–7:00 — Defining “Responsibly Carefree” 🌱

• Acceptance of present reality:
   
  • Past = fixed
  • Human nature = imperfect
• Simultaneous posture:
   
  • Forgiveness 🕊️
  • Understanding 🧠
  • Stability ⚖️
• Actively grounded

7:00–8:00 — Mastery & Optimism 🚀

• Future = probabilities → inevitabilities
• Agency = ability to shape outcomes
• “Mastery” across domains:
   
  • Physical
  • Emotional
  • Mental
  • Financial
  • Social
  • Moral
• Final identity:
   👉 The responsibly carefree person
   = calm + competent + evidence-based optimism

💡 Faith backed by data. Confidence backed by experience.

🎯 Closing Button 

✨ “The goal isn’t to feel less—it’s to need less to feel okay.”

Join SKOOL for free, where we discuss these important life-changing topics live!⚡️🌱✨

What if every negative emotion, whether some flavor of anger, sadness, or fear … wasn’t random chaos, but a precise signal of a gap, fragmentation or dis-integrity of reality? ⚡

Any negative feeling 📉 is a signal of danger and insecurity😧, a distance between what you expect, desire, and believe to be right (your standards) and what you perceive. 👀

And what if the real “problems” don’t just out there in the world… but also in the shape of your expectations themselves? 🧠

This is a first-principles map of emotional discontent: not therapy-speak, not motivation, just mechanisms of action. ⚙️

Let’s break it down.

⏱️ 8-MINUTE TIMELINE BREAKDOWN

🟣 0:00–1:00 — The Signal: Negative Emotion = “Something is Wrong”

Anger 😡, sadness 😢, fear 😨 → all point to one provisional conclusion:

👉 “Something is wrong.”

Not final truth; just a starting flag 🚩.

We don’t yet know what is wrong, only that a mismatch exists, causing upset.  

🔵 1:00–2:00 — The Core Structure: Expectation vs Reality

The “wrongness” lives in a gap:

✨ What I want / expect / believe should happen

vs

🌍 What I perceive is happening

That space between them = tension ⚡

And tension = stored energy, pressure, charge.

🟢 2:00–3:00 — The Problem Space: Where Could the Fault Be?

Now we map possibilities:

1️⃣ My expectations are wrong 🧭

2️⃣ Reality is wrong 🌍

3️⃣ Both are misaligned 🔀

But there is no 4th option.

If there were no mismatch → there would be no emotion, no tension, no “problem.”

🟡 3:00–4:00 — Why No Gap = No Suffering

If vision = perception perfectly 🎯

Then:

• No anger

• No sadness

• No fear

Just equilibrium.

Just “this is fine” energy 😌☯️

So emotion is not noise; it’s signal, it’s diagnostic.

🟠 4:00–5:00 — Zoom Out: The “NICEST” Framework

This becomes a system for emotional mechanics: The New Integration Center For Emotional Science & Technology. 

We’re studying the anatomy of discontent 🧬

Anger = Must fight to restore justice

Sadness = Depressed about past 

Fear = Flight

All variations of one structure: delta between vision & reality 📊

🔴 5:00–6:00 — Power Lives in Two Places

If you want control or influence 🧠⚙️, you can act on:

1️⃣ Your vision (standards, desires, expectations)

2️⃣ Reality (what is actually happening)

Most people only try to change reality.

But sometimes the real leverage is updating the map, not the territory 🗺️

🟣 6:00–7:00 — Education = Expanding Control

Education isn’t just the ability to memorize and repeat facts 📚 we need to be able to operationalize or weaponize them 🏹, inflicting ourselves and imposing our influence, will & vision onto the world. 🌎

It’s increasing agency:

• Better models of reality

• Better calibration of expectations

• More effective action

👉 The goal: reduce unproductive gaps OR use them intelligently to create change.

Discharge of stored pressure 🌋 can be channeled so it’s organized, not a random tantrum.  

⚫ 7:00–8:00 — Collapse States & Seductive Shortcuts (Drugs/Alcohol)

If the gap disappears artificially 🍷💊:

• Emotion drops instantly

• Conflict feels resolved

• Tension vanishes

But reality hasn’t improved—only perception has shifted.

That’s the danger:

⚠️ false alignment = temporary relief + potential long-term mismatch growth

True resolution requires either:

• changing reality

• or refining expectations

…not jus

Join SKOOL for free, where we discuss these thrilling topics live!✨🌱⚡️

🎙️ Punchy Intro

From Feeling F#@ked To Finding Flow…

You’re smart. You’ve got options. You’ve tasted flow.

So why does your life still feel scattered? If it feels like life can be boring, confusing or even soul crushing, the answer comes from an unexpected place: the introduction of structure and routine functions as a way to create a channel for self expression. That way, when the pressure builds up, it has a productive outlet  

This episode breaks down the hidden trap of high-potential people: when freedom without structure turns into chaos … and how shifting from “anything can happen to me” → “I engineer my life” changes everything.

⏱️ Minute-by-Minute Timeline

0:00–1:00 — 🧠 The High-Potential Trap

Smart, curious, opportunity-rich… but unfocused.

When not harnessed, strengths become liabilities.

1:00–2:00 — 🌊 “Anything Can Happen to Me”

The danger of being a person to whom anything can happen = insecurity + dependence.

2:00–3:00 — 🎲 Probabilities > Possibilities

Yes, anything can happen, but in reality, outcomes are patterned.

Different people, different probabilities.

3:00–4:00 — 🛠️ Engineering Your Life

Shift from passive living → actively shaping outcomes.

External locus → internal locus.

4:00–5:00 — 🔁 The 3-Level Evolution

1. External locus (life happens to you)
2. Internal locus (you shape your life)
3. External for others (you shape lives)

5:00–6:00 — 😤 The Day Falls Apart

Great start (prayer, meditation)… then contempt + distraction derail momentum.

6:00–7:00 — 🔍 Scattered Energy Problem

Too many options, no plan → cognitive diffusion.

No structure = no traction = no momentum = no confidence = no certainty = no reliability = inconsistent value 

7:00–8:00 — ⚡ Physics of Focus

Concentration punches holes in reality.

Dispersion = weaker forces take over, and “anything could happen to me.”

8:00–9:00 — 🎯 The Illusion of “Random Flow”

Past flow states create the belief: “It’ll just happen again.”

9:00–10:00 — 🎰 The Gambling Mindset

Waiting for flow becomes passive, like hoping lightning strikes twice. But the ability to internalize the embrace of structure allows for the kind of mastery that is so good it can’t miss. 

10:00–11:00 — 🧪 Resistance to Structure

Structure feels artificial, forced, even corrupting.

But this is nothing but having “a problem with authority,” which anyone who wants to be happy, successful, well-adjusted and happy, is advised to resolve for oneself.

If I have a problem with authority in general, I will be resistant to taking instruction and guidance from others, but I’ll also be reluctant to be a leader myself, since I’ll see the entire concept of authority as being illegitimate. This is among the excesses of “the Left.”

11:00–12:00 — 🎨 “It Has to Feel Natural”

Fear that planning kills joy, spontaneity, authenticity.

12:00–13:00 — 😊 Enjoyment vs Structure

Key tension: “Am I enjoying this?” vs “Am I progressing?”

13:00–14:00 — 📊 Measuring a Life

Zoom in: how many 15-minute blocks are you actually stoked?

14:00–15:00 — 😬 Fragmentation & Anxiety

“Neurotic, frazzled, fragmented” = misaligned interests + no integration.

15:00–16:00 — 💡 Passion → Profession Bridge

Modern world: ANY niche can become a livelihood.

The problem isn’t possibility. It’s integration.

16:00–17:00 — 🧩 Integrity = Alignment

When interests, work, and identity align → life feels whole.

Structure stops feeling like prison and starts feeling like a powerful channel.

Join SKOOL free!

You don’t need to love competition to win—but you do need to understand it. ⚔️

The truth: competence is the real currency of success, & competition? That’s just one of the ways it gets forged.

But what if you’re not wired to compete? What if you don’t want to be the aggressive, elbow-throwing, “mercenary” type?

In this episode, we flip the script. 🔄

We explore how to build undeniable competence without losing yourself to competition & why, in a world of AI, uncertainty, & evolving expectations, becoming intentionally valuable is the ultimate edge. 💡

⏱️ 0:00 – 1:00 | The Core Tension ⚖️

• Success requires competence 🧠
• Competence is usually built through competition 🥊
• But… not everyone thrives in competitive environments 😬
• Big question introduced: Can we bypass competition and still win?

⏱️ 1:00 – 2:00 | The “Competitive Applicant” Realization 🎓

• Experience on med school/residency selection committees
• Language shift: “competitive” vs “good” applicants
• Personal disconnect: I succeeded, but never felt competitive
• Spark of curiosity 🔥

⏱️ 2:00 – 3:00 | Competition vs Identity 🪞

• Internal conflict: competence without competitive personality
• Introduction of the “mercenary” archetype ⚔️
• Mercenaries = highly competitive + highly competent
• But… at a cost 💸

⏱️ 3:00 – 4:00 | The Downside of the Mercenary 🚫

• Negative impact on self and others
• Healthcare shifting away from tolerating this mindset 🏥
• Cultural evolution: less tolerance for purely competitive energy

⏱️ 4:00 – 5:00 | The End of Coasting 📉

• Old model: master one skill → coast for decades
• New reality: constant adaptation 🔄
• Rising expectations:
   
  • Entrepreneurship 💼
  • Negotiation 🤝
  • Creativity 🎨
• Doctors pushed out of comfort zones 😅

⏱️ 5:00 – 6:00 | The Soft Skills Awakening 🗣️

• Many professionals avoided soft skills intentionally 🙈
• Now: unavoidable and essential
• Growth = discomfort zone 🚧
• Public speaking, selling, connecting become critical

⏱️ 6:00 – 7:00 | AI + Uncertainty = Pressure Cooker 🤖🌍

• AI entering the landscape
• Economic instability rising 📊
• Forces deeper question:
   👉 Where does competence actually come from?

⏱️ 7:00 – 8:00 | From Accidental to Intentional Learning 🎯

• Most learning = accidental (walking, talking, etc.)
• Shift toward intentional skill-building
• Introduction of “engineering competence” ⚙️
• Structured environments create professionals

⏱️ 8:00 – 9:00 | You Are the Product 📦

• Doctors, lawyers, engineers = engineered outputs
• Philosophical shift:
   
  • You are both subject (experience) and object (value to others)
• Key question: How valuable are you?

⏱️ 9:00 – 10:00 | What Value Actually Means 💰

• Value = ability to change someone’s reality
• Two core functions:
   
  • Make dreams come true 🌟
  • Make nightmares go away 😱➡️😌
• Reliability + consistency = trust

⏱️ 10:00 – 11:00 | The Definition of True Competence 🎯🏁

• Competence = narrowing possibilities into predictable outcomes
• Competition = training ground, not the only path
• Examples: sports, medicine, law ⚽🩺⚖️
• Final expansion:
   
  • Domains of competence:
     
    • Physical 💪
    • Emotional ❤️
    • Mental 🧠
    • Social 👥
    • Financial 💵
    • Moral ⚖️

Join Us at Skool for free! Where we discuss these topics live✨🌱

Fighting isn’t the problem. ⚔️🛡️

The problem is avoiding conflict.🙈🏃🏻‍♂️💨

What if your discomfort with conflict isn’t a virtue… but a character defect? 😰

In this episode, we unpack a powerful evolution: from sneaky resistance → open confrontation → true collaboration. It’s not about becoming aggressive.🦍

It’s about becoming competent, honest, and ultimately free.🦅🕊️

Because the real question isn’t “Do you like fighting?”🤜🏼😍🤛🏼

It’s, “What is your life costing you by not knowing how to fight?” 🤺

⏱️ Minute-by-Minute Timeline (10 Minutes)

0:00 – 1:00 😬 The Honest Admission

• “I don’t like fighting.”
• Reframes this: not a virtue, but a default wiring
• Tension between intellectual belief vs embodied aversion

1:00 – 2:00 🧠➡️💪 Knowing vs Doing

• Understanding fighting is necessary ≠ being able to do it
• Fear, conditioning, and avoidance still dominate behavior
• Need for new reference experiences to rewire response

2:00 – 3:00 🕚🔄🕐 Two Timelines Introduced

• Personal evolution (your growth with conflict)
• Conceptual evolution (where fighting fits among strategies)
• “Operating systems” for how we engage with life

3:00 – 4:00 🕵️‍♂️ Mercenary vs Missionary

• Discovery of the “mercenary vs missionary” framework
• Self-awareness: sneaky, insecure, people-pleasing tendencies
• Sneakiness = covert fighting

4:00 – 5:00 🪜Levels of Fighting⚔️

• Sneaky fighting (hidden, indirect, undermining)
• Open fighting (direct, unapologetic, visible)
• Open conflict = higher level, less miserable

5:00 – 6:00 📈 The Evolution Ladder

• Miserable → Mercenary → Missionary
• Non-competitive → Competitive → Collaborative
• Each step = less misery, more mastery

6:00 – 7:00 🦹🏻‍♂️ Breaking Down “Mercenary”

• Two sub-levels:
   
  • Sneaky mercenary 😈 (more miserable)
  • Open mercenary ⚔️ (less miserable)
• Transparency reduces internal friction

7:00 – 8:00 🏁 Why Competition Matters

• “Competitive” shares root with “competent”
• Growth requires stepping into competition
• Quotes: 
  • “You don’t have to be great to start, but you do have to start to be great”
  • “Don’t do it until you get it right. Do it until you can’t get it wrong.”

8:00 – 9:00 🎙️ This Podcast = Fighting

• Recording = fighting inertia, inconsistency, fear
• Fighting isn’t just external, it’s also internal
• Discipline = a form of combat
• Action = conflict resolution, by definition

9:00 – 10:00 🔥 Call to Action

• Reflective questions:
  • What do you need to fight?
  • What improves if you do?
• Reframe fighting as:
  • Honorable 🛡️
  • Courageous 💥
  • A path to less misery + more mastery

⚡ Core Takeaway:

You don’t go from peaceful to collaborative by skipping conflict.

You go through it—from sneaky → to honest → to skillful → to collaborative.

Win or lose, let’s be honest about where we stand. This episode is a call-out & a call-up:👉 Seek truth over comfort 👉 Build systems over luck 👉 Learn when you’re lost, teach what you find.

Drop illusions 🪞, embrace growth 🌱, & play the long game ♟️because everything is fluid, & everyone’s evolving.

 1: Paradox🎭

• “I want to be around winners & losers”
• Winners know what they’re doing
• Losers don’t (yet)
• Both matter

2: Fluid Reality🌊

• Nothing is fixed: non-binary + domain-specific
• You can win in one area, lose in another

3:  Things Are As They Should Be🧘

• Even frustration, disappointment, disillusionment
• Resistance itself is part of reality
• Acceptance ≠ passivity

4: Value Disillusionment🪞

• We cling to illusions
• “Disillusionment” sounds bad, but it’s clarity
• This podcast = for people ready to see clearly

5: Two Types of Listeners🎧

• Those who want truth now
• Those who still want illusions—but see cracks forming
• Both are welcome ✅

6: “You Must Be This Tall”📏

• To benefit, you must:
  • Either seek truth
  • Or sense your illusions breaking … & like it
• Otherwise → boredom 😴

7: Expertise is Relative🧠

• Non-binary + domain-specific mastery
• Example: nuclear physics vs physiology
• Exposure → Familiarity → Competence

8: Identity = Exposure🧬

• You are shaped by what you’ve experienced
• Saying “this is how it should be” = faith + confidence

9: Faith, Logic, Probability🔗

• These aren’t opposites—they overlap
• Expectation = built into biology + culture
• We all operate on assumptions

10: Expectation of “Losers” 📉

• If you don’t know what you’re doing:
  • You should want to improve
• Reject the illusion of competence
• Avoid pretending & “flatland”

11: The Dangerous Escape Hatch 🚪

• “Nobody knows anything” mindset
• No hierarchy/authority
• Called out as: 
  • Common, Seductive, Wrong❗

12: Systems vs Luck ⚙️

• Failure reveals ignorance
• Success without systems = temporary
• Systems = repeatable knowledge

13: Domains of Mastery 🧩

• Physical, emotional, mental
• Financial, social, moral
• Literacy = language
• Numeracy = numbers
• Command = knowing + doing

14: What to Do When You Don’t Know 🤐

• Options:
  • Learn 📚
  • Outsource to experts 🤝
• Key rule:
   👉 Don’t add noise if you lack knowledge

15: What Experts Must Do 🎤

• Practice what they preach
• Preach what they practice
• Two offerings:
   
  • Done-for-you 🐟
  • Teach-you-how 🎣

16: Responsibility & Earning Your Life 💼

• Eventually:
  • You must contribute
  • Others depend on you
• Requires competence in something

17: Growth is Always Available 🚀

• It’s fluid—you can level up anytime
• Don’t coast
• Stay in motion, stay engaged

18: Maintenance & Meaning 🔧❤️

• Life = constant upkeep (like brushing teeth 🪥)
• Entropy is always working
• Choose Love for the game 🎮 or fall into resentment 😤

Final note:

👉 Repetition = integration

👉 Reflection = growth

👉 This work is never “done”

💡 Core Takeaway:

Be 1: honest about when you don’t know 2: disciplined enough to learn 3: generous enough to teach.

That’s the whole game.

Join Us at Skool for free! Where we discuss these topics live✨🌱

Who’s easier to be around, winners 🏆 or losers 😵‍💫?

Plot twist! It’s not about them: it’s about us!🧠⚡

In this episode we flip the script 🔄 showing how insecurity, gratitude, ego, and interpretation determine whether anyone feels energizing ✨ or draining 🪫

Master this, and suddenly:

👉 winners stop intimidating you 😬➡️😎

👉 losers stop dragging you down 😩➡️💡

🙋🏻‍♂️you become a better influence🥇

👉 and every interaction becomes fuel 🔥

⏱️ Minute-by-Minute Timeline (15 min)

⏱️ 0:00–1:00 — The Big Question ❓

• Winners vs losers: easy or hard to be around?
• The real goal 🎯: make all interactions easy
• Not by avoiding difficulty 🚫, but by upgrading your mindset 🧠✨

⏱️ 1:00–2:00 — It’s Subjective 🎭

• Everyone experiences people differently
• “Winner vs loser” = just a lens 🔍
• The deeper game: your internal state

⏱️ 2:00–3:00 — When Winners Are Easy 🏆😎

• You’re in a learning mindset 📚
• They’re not hostile 🤝
• You’re open, curious, receptive 🌱

⏱️ 3:00–4:00 — When Winners Are Hard 😬🔥

• You feel insecure, jealous, envious 😤
• They criticize without support ⚖️❌
• Being exposed without being guided = painful

⏱️ 4:00–5:00 — Reframing Difficulty 🔄

• Even harsh feedback can be enjoyable 😏
• The challenge: build gratitude under pressure 💪

⏱️ 5:00–6:00 — When Losers Are Easy 😅

• Downward comparison 📉: “At least I’m not them”
• Feeling like the “winner” boosts ego temporarily 😎

⏱️ 6:00–7:00 — When Losers Are Hard 😓

• Guilt about privilege 🧠⚖️
• Fear of being dragged down 🪫
• Negative influence = emotional friction

⏱️ 7:00–8:00 — The Hidden Superpower 💥

• Helping others 🤝 = healing yourself ❤️‍🩹
• Support → becomes self-support
• Giving = secretly receiving 🎁

⏱️ 8:00–9:00 — Sacrifice = Sacred 🔥✨

• “Sacrifice” and “sacred” share divine roots 🕊️🙏🏼👼
• Helping others isn’t a loss, it’s meaningful gain …
• Enter: humanitarian / divine connection 🌍

⏱️ 9:00–10:00 — Winners Helping You 🏆➡️🙌

• Powerful people often want to help
• Even teasing = a form of connection 😏
• Misreading it = insecurity talking 🧠⚠️

⏱️ 10:00–11:00 — The Real Enemy: Ego 🪞

• Fear of rejection = fear of self 🧩
• Not just fear 😨, but anger 😡 + sadness 😢
• The deeper work: get over yourself

⏱️ 11:00–12:00 — Playfulness & Freedom 😂

• Mockery, satire, teasing = bonding tools 🎭
• With trust ❤️, honesty becomes fun
• No grudges = maximum connection 🔥

⏱️ 12:00–13:00 — Winners & Losers Are the Same 🧩

• It’s all relative ⚖️
• Rich vs poor = same spectrum 💰
• Everyone has some level of success 🌱

⏱️ 13:00–14:00 — Gratitude vs Self-Pity 🙏 vs 😩

• Winners amplify gratitude ➕
• Losers can reinforce self-pity ➖
• Self-pity = quicksand 🕳️
• Gratitude = momentum 🚀

⏱️ 14:00–15:00 — The Final Insight 💡

• It’s not about who they are 👤
• It’s about:
   
  • Their influence 🔄
  • Your interpretation 🧠
• Master this = emotional black belt 🥋

🔥 Closing Vibe

You don’t need better people…

You need a better lens 👁️✨

Change that, and suddenly:

👉 everyone becomes a teacher 📚

👉 every moment becomes growth 🌱

👉 and life gets a whole lot lighter 😌💫

https://www.skool.com/the-stage-fright-solution-1043/about?ref=19b8f170700e401f88807ff91b6a6e19

Ever feel like your best intended effort at giving someone advice or constructive criticism is met with defensive insecurity and a hostile response to mind your own business? I can definitely also relate.

What if the problem isn’t what we’re saying… but how we’re handing it over?

We intuitively give advice blade first. Sharp, abrupt, and even a little scary to receive. This sadly defeats the purpose and drives a wedge instead of intimacy.

And then we wonder why people get defensive!

There’s a better way: handle first. We can give the exact same “spicy” truth: Direct, honest, even uncomfortable, without being hostile, aggressive, cold, or intimidating.

In fact, when people feel that we’re on their side, your criticism doesn’t just land…it sticks.

⏱️ 10-Minute Timeline

1: If you have advice to give, make it stick

• It’s not about softening the truth. It’s about packaging it so it can be used.”
• Same message, different delivery → completely different outcome

2: Why Harsh Criticism Fails

• When criticism is aggressive: Engagement is driven by fear, not trust. People comply short-term, resist and rebel long-term
• Calling it out:
  • Abuse of authority is common across fields (medicine, law, finance, military, etc.)
• “If fear is the only glue, the relationship is already cracking, unstable, fragmented, and lacking integrity.”

3/4: My Anesthesiology Experience

• Training residents, giving autonomy
• Allowing safe mistakes + course correction
• Old model: overreaction, power flexing
• Our model: calm correction + support
• Personal reflection:
  • “I remember being in their shoes, and being turned off by unnecessary intensity.”
• Key line:
  • “I don’t withdraw care support when I correct others. I increase it.”

5/6/7: What Makes Criticism Work

• 3 ingredients:
  1. They know you’re on their side
  2. The feedback is actually correct
  3. You’re not protecting feelings at the cost of truth
• Important nuance:
  1. Medicine selects for people who can take feedback, but not infinitely
• Tone + timing + body language matter

7/8: Parenting Application

• Transition: “This matters even more at home.”
• Discuss:
  • Kids need boundaries, not just love
  • Avoiding correction = long-term harm
• Strong point:
  • “A parent who can’t correct is outsourcing discipline to the world.” Beware of codependent parenting. 
• Mention your spouse:
  • Comfortable giving loving but firm correction
• Key insight:
  • “Lack of boundaries today becomes resentment tomorrow.”

9/10: Practical Reframe

• Give simple actionable shift:
  • Before speaking, ask:
     → “Am I handing this handle first?”
• Reframe advice as:
  • An offering, not an imposition
• Core idea:
  • “You’re not lowering the impact, but increasing the usability.”

In closing

• Recall the metaphor:
  • “The same knife can heal or harm, depending on how you hand it over.”
• Final line:
  • “If people can’t handle your advice… it might be because you didn’t offer it to them by the handle.”
  • This is an example of how faith and patience is a worthwhile investment, whereas impatience and grumpiness is a costly indulgence. 

https://www.skool.com/the-stage-fright-solution-1043/about?ref=19b8f170700e401f88807ff91b6a6e19

Difference between a bad person & a badass? Bad person? Out of control! Badass? Fully in control!

Bad people are slaves to insecurity: anger, fear, & sadness.

A badass feels all of that… & still chooses discipline, clarity, & action.

So the real question isn’t: Are you good or bad?, but Are you in control or are your emotions running the show?

Today, we break down how to move from ASS: angry, sad, scared

… to strength, sanity, & self-mastery.

Timeline

 1: The Hook

• Bad person vs badass distinction
• Reframe: same raw material, different execution
• Emotional control = defining difference

2: Redefining “Bad”

• Bad = loss of control
• Badass = power with restraint
• Introduce honor, dignity, grace as hallmarks

3: No Free Passes

• Pushback: depression/anxiety aren’t neutral, but have  internal & external consequences
• indulgence ≠ compassion

4: The “Temper Tantrum” Frame

• Anger = obvious tantrum
• Anxiety = internalized tantrum
• Depression = collapsed tantrum
• Common thread: loss of emotional regulation

5: The State Hierarchy

• Below baseline: angry, sad, scared
• Baseline: peace, stoicism, equanimity
• Above baseline: joy, love, enthusiasm
• Key insight: stoicism is the gateway, not the finish line

6: Introducing “ASS”

• Angry
• Sad
• Scared
• Memorable, blunt, sticky
• This is a diagnosis, not identity

7: GO FOR IT

• Acronym: Get Over Fear Of Rejection In Time
• Transition from passive suffering → active engagement

8: 3D Approach to Fear

• Get over → overcome
• Get under → understand
• Get ahead → anticipate
• Get behind → support
• Key idea: don’t fight fear: outflank it

9: Reframing Fear

• Insecurity = not just fear → anger + sadness + fear
• Introduce: Rejection Insecurity Pathology (RIP) → it stinks when we RIP ASS

10: The Vitality Dial

• Life ≠ binary (on/off)
• It’s a dimmer switch
• Turned on = engaged, energized
• Turned off = contracted, avoidant
• Spiritual goal = increasing “energy” even under stress

11: Adversity Reframe

From Post-traumatic stress → “weaker,” to post-traumatic growth → “stronger”

4 quotes

• What doesn’t kill me-
• When the student is ready-
• My enemy is my greatest-
• I am my own worst-

12: Closing the Loop

• Return to opening question
• Bad person = dysregulated, reactive
• Badass = regulated, responsive, disciplined
• Sanity restoration = the real upgrade
• Call to action:
   
  • Move from ASS → awareness → action
  • Invite to program/community

Closing

You don’t become a badass by avoiding struggle, but by mastering it.

Next time you get a curveball, ask:

Am I merely reflecting my conditions, or am I expanding beyond reactive triggers & emotional flood, into the creative realm of productive, resourceful flow?

Am I a slave to conditions & to my self and to my life, or am I the master & steward of these elements?

The self/ego/manifest reality is an excellent servant, but a terrible master. 

Our rightful place in our own lives and in the world, is one of mastery, expertise, familiarity and domination. 

We’ve been told to be grateful … and that is definitely advisable. Feeling lucky is a very empowering and graceful feeling! It’s the same as being STOKED!

But somewhere along the way, gratitude got twisted into complacency.

This episode breaks that spell.

Because the real game isn’t choosing between hunger and contentment. It’s holding both at the same time.

Staying grounded in appreciation… while relentlessly building what’s next.

This is about going from strength to strength - without losing your integrity, your purpose, or your edge.

The competitive killer instinct is a foundation upon which true collaboration and cooperation can be built  

 12-Minute Timeline Summary

Minute 0–1: The Opening Challenge

Do you actually want more—strength, success, freedom?

Or have you been subtly conditioned to settle by comparing yourself to those with less?

Minute 1–2: The Trap of “False Gratitude”

Gratitude gets weaponized into passivity.

Relativism and deconstructing desire can drain your drive if taken as the whole truth.

Minute 2–3: The Core Paradox

You can be grateful and hungry at the same time.

This creates ambition without resentment—and satisfaction without stagnation.

Minute 3–4: Wanting More (Gracefully)

Desire doesn’t have to corrupt you.

You can pursue more without immorality, bitterness, or exploiting others.

Minute 4–5: The Spectrum of Outcomes

Four trajectories:

• Worst: weakness → weakness
• Best: strength → strength
• Middle: strength → failure
• Middle: failure → strength

Not all growth paths are equal.

Minute 5–6: Why Strength → Strength Is Rare

Success often leads to coasting.

“Resting on your laurels” becomes socially and internally justified laziness.

Minute 6–7: The Myth of Permanent Rest

Retirement and lottery wins expose a truth:

When people stop creating and contributing, they often decline.

Minute 7–8: Consciousness After Success

Success requires more awareness, not less.

Most people swing from success → failure because they stop engaging intentionally.

Minute 8–9: Platform vs Plateau

Feeling good isn’t a stopping point—it’s a launchpad.

Success should be something you build on, not settle into.

Minute 9–10: From Self-Support to Service

Once you’re stable, your mission expands:

You no longer work just for yourself—you work for others.

Minute 10–11: The Infinite Game of Giving

Taking limits you. Giving expands you.

There’s an endless demand for value—if you have something real to offer.

Minute 11–12: The Six Forms of Value + Final Vision

You can give:

• Physical
• Emotional
• Mental
• Financial
• Social
• Moral support

True strength comes from deep internal security—

and that’s what allows you to go from strength to strength while lifting others.

Show Notes Summary

Doing well in life calls for pride and gratitude—not guilt. Guilt is reserved for harm, not success. There’s a critical difference between thriving and hurting others, and in many cases, not doing well can itself create harm. The goal is to move toward a life where you are both doing well and contributing—where everyone benefits.

Negative emotions are not inherently helpful; they are raw signals that require processing. When unfiltered, they are mostly noise. Their value comes only after reflection, distance, and interpretation. Feeling bad is not the same as doing good.

The solution is to create space between you and your emotions—through reflection, conversation, journaling, meditation, and perspective. By identifying with something larger than your immediate experience, you gain clarity and reduce overwhelm.

At the root of much suffering is fragmentation—of attention, intention, energy, and resources. This fragmentation leads to dysfunction across all areas of life. The aim is to restore integrity, alignment, and wholeness—within yourself and in how you relate to others.

This is an invitation to raise standards: for how you feel, how you live, and how you show up for others. To move beyond isolation and toward shared accountability and growth.

Minute-by-Minute Timeline

0:00 – 1:00

When you’re doing well in any domain of life, the only valid emotional responses are pride and gratitude—both can coexist.

1:00 – 2:00

Guilt is not appropriate for success; it only applies when you are actively harming others.

2:00 – 3:00

Doing well and harming others are not the same—failing to do well can actually create harm and a lose-lose outcome.

3:00 – 4:00

The ideal state is doing well while helping others—a win-win where feeling bad serves no purpose.

4:00 – 5:00

Negative feelings don’t help in their raw form; they are noisy signals that must be filtered to extract value.

5:00 – 6:00

To process emotions effectively, you need distance—created through reflection, sharing, and perspective-building practices.

6:00 – 7:00

The self is often a contracted state, leading to overwhelm and fragmentation across all areas of life.

7:00 – 8:00

Healing comes from restoring integrity and raising standards—for yourself and others—through connection, awareness, and intentional living.

Summary with Time Stamps:

[0:00-1:30] Many people face rejection, feeling “nobody likes me,” attracting toxic people, or struggling professionally, like not getting hired. These experiences damage self-esteem and block desired social or work relationships.

[1:30-3:00] Rejection is a signal to improve, not despair. While feeling dejected is normal, prolonged self-pity worsens the issue. We can respond with enthusiasm, using rejection as motivation to become more valuable without needing others’ permission.

[3:00-4:30] By offering value to others, we turn time into opportunity. Helping others and being rewarded reduces the pain of rejection. Embracing rejection as feedback makes us resilient, freeing us from ego-driven fear or bitterness.

[4:30-6:00] The acronym “MEET GOD” (Make Enlightenment Easy Through Gifts of Desperation) shows how adversity drives growth. Desperation prompts seeking help, and surrendering to reality is empowering. Adversity pushes us into a growth zone.

[6:00-7:30] The ego, a poor master but good servant, resists growth. Rejection reveals our lack of control over emotions or conditions. Our instinct is to master our lives, not be victims of circumstances.

[7:30-9:00] Mastery starts with accepting rejection, forgiving others and ourselves, and releasing resentment. This restores energy to embrace discomfort as growth. Gratitude for feedback, even if painful, fuels development.

[9:00-10:00] By doubling down on growth, we move from being at the mercy of rejection to authoring our lives, becoming the main character in our story.

Candle & Bonfire: Episode – “ITWIT: Igniting Your Success”

 What fuels true success? In this smoldering episode of Candle & Bonfire, we unveil the ITWIT framework—It Takes What It Takes—a clear, actionable recipe for a vibrant, purpose-driven life. Inspired by the quote, “Distance diminishes small loves and increases big ones, like wind blows out the candle and fans the bonfire,” host Big Doc Energy distills success into four key ingredients: time, energy, service to others, and a balanced money mindset. This 5-minute episode delivers specific, technical steps to assess your readiness to give what success demands, moving beyond vague ideals. Are you ready to invest time to fan your bonfire? Can you channel energy to sustain your flame? Will you serve others despite judgment? Can you approach money with clarity, not greed? We explore how to give authentically—without forcing or stealing—while embracing acceptance and rejection, letting small loves fade to amplify big ones. With a quick guided meditation and journaling prompts, this episode empowers you to build a life of impact. Perfect for dreamers seeking to ignite their purpose, join us to transform time into value, energy into action, and service into connection. Light your bonfire now!

Why Listen?

• Clear Roadmap: Master ITWIT with concrete steps to achieve success, checking boxes for clarity.
• Practical Insights: Learn to prioritize time, harness energy, serve others, and balance money.
• Inspirational Depth: Connect success to the Candle & Bonfire ethos, where big loves blaze brighter.
• Actionable Tools: Get a meditation and prompts to embody ITWIT, fueling your purpose.

Chapters

• [00:00–00:30] Igniting ITWIT
  Big Doc Energy introduces Candle & Bonfire and ITWIT, emphasizing specific answers for success.
• [00:31–01:30] Time: Your Spark
  Explore time as success’s foundation, tied to “time is money.” Do you have it? Will you give it?
• [01:31–02:30] Energy: Fueling the Flame
  Dive into energy as success’s driver, variable yet vital. How to give it wisely.
• [02:31–04:00] Service: The Heart of Fire
  Unpack service as success’s core, embracing judgment to grow big loves, per the podcast’s quote.
• [04:01–05:00] Money Mindset & Meditation
  Learn why success needs clarity, not cash, with a meditation to commit to ITWIT.

Key Points

• ITWIT Framework: Success demands time, energy, service, and a balanced money mindset. Ask: Do I have it? Will I give it?
• Time is Money: Time fuels success, convertible like energy in E=mc², fanning your bonfire.
• Energy’s Power: Energy drives action, requiring strategic giving to sustain your flame.
• Service and Courage: Serving others means accepting/rejecting, dimming small loves to amplify big ones.
• Money Balance: Success requires peace with money, not wealth, avoiding greed or theft.
• Checklist for Action: Use ITWIT to assess commitment, igniting a purposeful life.

Calls to Action

1. Subscribe & Share: Follow Candle & Bonfire on Buzzsprout, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Share on Instagram/X with #CandleAndBonfire!
2. Consider your level of success: How do you measure it? In money? Followers? Personal fulfillment? Feeling stoked about life? Do I have time, energy, service, clarity? Will I give them?

Kaveh Navab is an anesthesiologist with a keen interest in high performance group dynamics. His paradigm is rooted in personal subjective experience of justice and injustice, health and toxicity. He speaks here, on the relationship of anger to the rest of our lives, its origins, and how it influences the trajectory of our physical, emotional, mental, financial and social lives. The importance of disarming the topics of anger, disapproval, judgement and a spectrum of effective and productive performance, are at the heart of healing our social wounds and confusion. Bringing humor to angering situations is the best way to actually keep our eye on the problem while maintaining our healthy level of energy which we'll need to most effectively deal with the issue. 

Are you wounded? Have you endured physical, emotional, mental, financial and social insults and offenses? We know the answer is "yes." Having expectations is human. It's totally human and healthy for us to be entitled to being treated a certain way, counting on people, and depending on others. But of course that's exactly where disappointment, anger and trauma (DAT) eventually arise from. They arise from DIS - our dependence, innocence, and safety. When we are DIS, we become DAT. But many times we get stuck in the disappointment, anger, and trauma. It becomes like a heavy cloud of pain and confusion - hypnotic and captivating, such that we can't take our eyes off the dark side of the situation. Be it physical, emotional, mental, financial or social, we want to be whole, we want to be healed. The first step is noticing the pain. Where is the injury? What needs your attention right away? Is it physical, emotional, mental, financial or social? What will life look like once it's healed? How will you be able to show up more completely and openly in your own and others' lives?

In this meditation, we will practice checking in with your inner child through a somatic approach, to see what needs are there and how they can be felt and met throughout the nervous system. The inner child can carry a range of emotions and needs which can change every day, and by getting in touch and tuning in with them on a regular basis, we are able to more fully connect with all parts of ourselves and thrive in our daily life.

Welcome back to Get What You Want, the Candle and Bonfire Success System Podcast. 

This week, Dr Anahita Navab Holden and Dr Kaveh Navab team up to guide each other and you to the parts of life that are bugging us. The stress, pressure, pain and conflict that we feel is often something we don’t discuss openly - it brings the mood down and makes us feel helpless. 

However, we are changing that. We promise you that together we will find specific and logical actions that arise from the commitments we discover when we allow our honest complaints to be voiced. We know if we keep our concerns to ourselves out of embarrassment or a need for privacy, things will just stay the same. 

A pivot or departure from the status quo can be “tried on” for size. You don’t have to “buy” what we are selling - you could just “rent” it and see how it feels to try something new, and take some novel actions out for a test drive. 

Unapologetically describing how you want your life to be different is the key first step, and one that many of us don’t even feel like we deserve to vocalize. Dr Ana and Dr Kaveh are familiar with that feeling, and we ourselves are learning to stand up for ourselves and each other. We are also standing up for you, and your ability to take action to pivot into your best life - starting with the problems and conflicts you have with your current reality, conditions and results, whether physical, emotional, mental, financial or social. 

Feel the pressure. Give it a voice. No judgement. You deserve to feel better, and the first step is naming the problem. 

Check out the ebook and opportunities to connect, at 

www.candleandbonfire.com

Enjoy this meditation exploring your cultivation of inner strength, from a place of grounding and centering yourself. When we are able to draw this energy of vitality into ourselves, our nervous systems respond and allow us to come from a place of resource and strength in navigating our daily interactions with loved ones.

"You can have your cake and eat it too"... this is true when your cake is a process, but not when it's a physical thing. "Enjoying the processes of making money, becoming powerful, popular, influential and beloved," is what we'd consider "having our cake and eating it too," or "success without suffering," If we have to suffer or hurt anyone else to make money or become popular, that's not our definition of "as successful as we could be." But that's just us.

This is a podcast designed to help you get what you want, without taking anything away from anyone else. This may be a new concept to most - and we welcome you to join us! It is a discussion, invitation, and encouragement (gentle pressure) - it is based in neuroscience, logic, storytelling, and personal experiences of performance, competition, failure and success. It's designed for us to first recognize, and then -if we so desire- to grow our powers to pursue, attract, and create what we want across 5 domains of life, without hurting others or ourselves. In fact the secret is we can in fact succeed specifically by helping others succeed. 

The domains of life (physical, emotional, mental, financial and social) are calling out to us to help them heal and grow. Together, they make up our life, our selves, and define what we want. Our relationships with power, control, organization, understanding, clarity and graceful ease... apply to body, heart, mind, money, and relationships. That's the point of this podcast - to get what you want, and to happily pay the price. On this podcast, we are all teaming up with each other, to get what we want on purpose (not on accident). We do that by inspecting and learning from the edge of growth, and the associated discomfort and pain. 

This is the conversation. This is how healing, growth and success feels. Anti-Fragility. This is performance, but not competition. Giving, but not sacrifice. This is a reliable, honest, mature, ambitious, generative and creative path to Getting What You Want. Join in! Looking forward to our journey!