Introducing Dr. Rachel Rackow!

Ok, so you might not want her to cut the cake at your birthday party, but you do want her to cut through difficult conversations! Rachel has been practicing palliative medicine for many years now and has continued to worked through her own loss, trauma, Covid, parenting, and more. She has used her personal experiences of loss to enhance her work and used her work to help heal her experiences of loss. She's a dedicated physician, attentive mother, intrepid friend, and just a lovely human being. Oh, and she's incredibly insightful and so so so fun. 

This episode has heavy moments (we do talk about suicide, so listen with care), but balanced with joyful laughter - which is fitting to anyone who has been lucky enough to spend time with Rachel. She can engage in the heaviest of conversations and then, with ease, share in joyous laughter. She balances life's reality, which is not an easy thing to do and she comes to the balance after years of practicing joy and sorrow. Thank you Rachel!!!!

Also...note...No Really I'm Fine podcast will be taking a brief few month hiatus so hosts Aaron and Mike can take a breath and record some more engaging conversations to be released in the fall. Thanks again for all the support! 

John McCall brings us a lively conversation filled with laughter and tears as he shares his journey into ICU nursing, sharing the joy and substantial challenges. 

John didn't begin a career in nursing until a second career after feeling unsatisfied after a career in business. It seemed the words from an early childhood influence, Mr. Rodgers, kept ringing in his ears "In times of trouble, always look for the helpers." John has had quite a journey through leaning into this call to help and has certainly had success and challenges along the way as he balances his healthy instinct to help with a more unhealthy urge to help which often leaves him unable to bring the help to himself that he gives to others. 

This episode is filled with vulnerability, insight, and boldness as John probes the challenges of parenting while in a high stress environment and challenges some of the stereotypes that exist (especially, it seems for men) that strong people don't cry or as for help. Thank you, John, for your care and for your passion for telling the truth and helping others. John is a gem and we think you will love him! 

This week’s episode features ICU nurse Amanda Wood. Originally drawn by the fascinating stories of the medical field, she shares openly about the true emotional toll of an acute care setting. 

In our conversation, Amanda admittedly wonders if she can sustain herself on this career path. After the initial curiosity that drew her in, she recounts her stressful journey with nursing starting by training during the pandemic. She also reflects on her ongoing struggle to maintain compassion and her own well-being while working with complex cases in the ICU. As she says, she’s finding ways to cope wherever she can and she’s doing better, yet still says, “No really, I’m really not fine!” 

Thank you Amanda for your honesty, your humor and the heartfelt care you provide even as you search for how best to care for yourself! 

On this week’s episode we welcome another amazing nurse, Alyssa Gibbs. Feeling called to nursing from a young age she’s spent time in Pediatrics, in CVICU and in an emerging role as a Critical Response Nurse (CRN). 

Alyssa reflects on how she’s learned to handle stressful situations with families and patients and provide calm to the care team in the midst of crisis. She speaks to the emotional toll of nursing, especially when you’re not in the right role. Just as she’s learned to read the signs of physical distress in patients, Alyssa offers insight she’s learned about slow transitions from work to home, knowing when to take a day off and even embracing the need for a career change.

Thank you Alyssa for your willingness to share the personal experiences that have helped make you such a calm presence in the midst of medical crisis! 

This week we’re honored to welcome Sarah Ream to the podcast. With years spent working as an ED Social Worker, she has become accustomed to supporting people in the midst of crisis. But after experiencing the sudden loss of her husband, she learned new ways of being present to herself and others.

You might want to grab some Kleenex as you listen to this touching and poignant reflection on love, loss and healing in the midst of one’s own pain and sorrow. 

Thank you Sarah for sharing your story with us and giving such an inspiring illustration of how to see the world through our tears! 

At a young age Laura was told, “you will see a lot of suffering.” While at first she was upset by this prediction, she now embraces this reality on a daily basis. In this poignant conversation, she shares how she was shaped since birthed to provide comfort and guidance to others in the midst of their suffering. 

Since she was a child, Laura has cultivated a therapeutic presence that can help sustain others in the midst of crisis. Along the way, she’s come face to face with her own limitations  and learned that taking care of yourself in these kinds of roles is a daily challenge.   

Thank you Laura for honoring us with your touching, humorous and inspiring stories! 

We’re thrilled to welcome Ilyse Ring as she shares about her 30+ years of experience as a speech pathologist . From her educational background in linguistics and women’s studies, Ilyse reluctantly followed a prompt from her mom into speech therapy. Today, she’s still discovering the joy and wonder of helping people find their voice again.

Working in an acute care setting, Ilyse opens up about the challenges of shifting job roles, difficult patient interactions and even working through the pandemic while facing family health struggles. She celebrates both the magic of recovery and the pain of saying goodbye to patients.  She also offers honest reflection on the ever developing challenge of how to cope with this emotional grind. 

After decades of dedicated work empowering others to share their stories, we’re so grateful to have Ilyse share her story with us! 

On this week’s episode the lovely couple Kyle and Sarah join us to share their experience with being a nurse…while being married to a nurse! From a fortuitous meeting in youth group, Sarah and Kyle followed parallel paths to find meaningful work in the nursing field. 

For Sarah, she’s followed her passion to provide empowering care as a labor and delivery nurse, while Kyle’s journey has gone from medical missions to work as a critical care nurse. In this engaging and honest dialogue, they open up about the joys and heartbreak of their shared work. They reflect on a blend of professional triumphs and personal loss, and share how they’ve learned to give and receive support even after the shift ends.  

We hope you enjoy this touching window into life on both sides of the healthcare frontline. Thank you Kyle and Sarah for the laughter, the tears and the care you provide to patients and each other! 

P.S. You can check out Kyle’s awesome woodwork here: https://sawdust-and-scrubs.square.site

This week we welcome Kyle Cook to the show, an Oncology RN whose is passionate about the patient experience. In this episode, Kyle reflects on some surprising sources of inspiration that have made him the amazing nurse he is. You’ll love hearing how a blend of key relationships, unique job experiences and a certain star singer have all been instrumental in his journey. 

Throughout this heartfelt conversation, Kyle demonstrates the wit, wisdom and infectious joy that make him a beloved nurse and a trusted advocate for patients and colleagues. We hope you’ll be as touched as we were as you listen to him share. 

Thank you Kyle for bringing your full energy and heart to our time together. You are truly a gift to all those you serve! 

Thanks to Palliative Care Social Worker, Jen Smith, for engaging us in the first episode of Season 2 for, "No Really, I'm Fine." 

Not only is Jen a joy to talk to (and work with), she is also deeply insightful, caring, and takes on her work with passion and kindness. 

Jen shares insight into how she navigates this challenging work while also suffering a tragic personal loss. This is a heavy experience that is sadly shared by many people who work in health care and find themselves asking, "how do I come back?" 

Thank you, Jen, for your vulnerability and your commitment to the important work of healthcare, even in the middle of personal loss and grief. 

No Really (really), Andrea Reynolds is fine! 

Andrea brings her unique journey into nursing. Andrea has a passion for taking on challenges in this field, and is fascinated by complex procedures and machines. She works as an ECMO Primer (we are delighted to learn what this job entails!) and does not back away from difficult situations. She shares her ability to cope with the complex nature of this job, and shares her beliefs around death and life. She has a contagious laugh and a buoyant spirit...she's just fun to talk with! Also, she's a wonderful singer who did sing for us...but sadly we can't share this because we can't afford the rights to the songs until we get more paid subscribers, come on people! Please enjoy Andrea - and Andrea, thanks for all the good work. 

Oh Fine listeners, this week’s episode includes two special features! First, we welcome our lovely guest host Jyoshin Clay, an ordained Zen Buddhist priest and Chaplain extraordinaire. Welcome Jyoshin! 

Why a new host? Because this time, Aaron Metcalf finds himself in the hot seat. With a mix of vulnerability and humor, Aaron shares how his personal health challenges as a child and later as a spouse have shaped his passion and sense of purpose as a hospital chaplain. He also opens up about his own efforts to maintain emotional health through times of anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation. Buckle up, for an honest, heartfelt conversation with this “amazing” storyteller. 

Oh friends! Dr. Brian Beldowicz, "just call me Brian Please" brings a lively conversation to us about his long career as a trauma MD both in the military and in a trauma 1 hospital setting. We explore topics around compassion, empathy, doing your part, and a wonderful way of engaging the stories of other people. Brian brings compassion and professionalism, along with his new insight into the power of bringing his emotional world (gasp!) into the workplace. This is a can't miss episode. Please enjoy! 

Nurse manager Andee Holman joins us today and processes her many years of nursing in many, many, different rolls leading up to her desire to work as a manager. Andee brings great stories, reflections, and heartfelt care into her work. She has developed a passion for supporting healthcare workers and talks about her projects in "code lavender" and "walks of honor" as she continues her life-long mission to see the whole person. Andee also honors her lifelong story of noticing when she is not ok...and developing skills to say honestly, "It's ok to not be ok." This is a really powerful and honest episode, and we thank Andee for her work and her time to sit and share with us. Keep it up! 

"Was that a coincidence?" we get to hear Mary Bloom, RN and House Supervisor, ask on this episode as she explores her long career in nursing and her evolving trust in her intuition and growing awareness that there is more to life and medicine than we can see. 

Mary is joined by her longtime friend and fellow house supervisor, Erin Smith, who also chimes in with her experiences in this fast-paced and problem-solving job. Both Mary and Erin reflect on how they cope after a long day, "living in a crazy netflix movie" and how they have grown to trust in energy that's hard to define or see. 

Both Mary and Erin bring their expertise in medicine and passion for helping people into this episode. They also share how they cope with the stresses of their job and, ultimately, their deep love for what they do. We were so honored to have them on this podcast and hear their unique perspective. We are especially honored that Mary risks sharing some of her insight, which we think can be helpful to many as we explore different ways to approach, value, and make meaning in healthcare work. Thank you both! 

Fasten your seatbelts listeners! Karen Rose brings passion, perspective, and wisdom in this episode you don't wanna miss! Karen Rose shares her fascinating journey of discovering her passion and acumen for nursing - from her education to sociology, to her excavating nursing passion from implicit messages of inadequacy heaped on her by our patriarchal society. Karen Rose explores the birth of empathy, her children, her love for balancing perspectives in nursing and more! We laughed until we cried in this conversation. And then we also just cried as we heard Karen Rose reflect on literal stories of being held during her own difficult times and her gifts for holding others and using her scientist gifts to help heal those who are truly ill. And through it all, we know, Florence Nightingale is gazing down with love on this one! Thanks Karen Rose! 

Thank you to Preston for joining us on the podcast today! Preston is a travel nurse from Florida who shortly after beginning his career traveled to New York where he worked during peak Covid pandemic, only to go back to Florida at peak Delta wave! Whoah! In this episode he explores these experiences and also shares his love of traveling - both as a nurse and in his teardrop camper! Preston brings authentic insight into this career and explores what it's been like for him to go cross-country and work in a variety of hospital systems. He also gives an enlightening metaphor for this challenging work that helps shift perspective and give meaning to patient care. Also...there are vampires in this episode! Or at least stories where one could encounter a vampire! Thanks Preston, for your work and for sharing with us! 

Based on listener request, this week we welcome Assistant Nurse Manager Caterina DeMoret. Following her own life-threatening medical crisis, Caterina found a new sense of calm and purpose in her new career as a nurse. After nearly burning out her first year, she learned how to focus on the needs of others and find the support she needs from peers. Known for her ability to provide compassionate care to patients in challenging situations,  she now works tirelessly to train her teams to do the same. We hope you enjoy her honest and heartfelt story. Thank you Caterina! 

MD Resident Dr. Matthew Staropoli joins the podcast today for a lively discussion of the unique experiences medical residents go through. Dr. Staropoli brings stories from his training as well as stories of why he chose this challenging field. He also shares struggles to find time to cope amidst a very busy schedule and how he utilizes his artistic side, his love of family, and evening boxing to help him get through the stress. Thank you, good doctor, for your work and for taking the time to have this fruitful conversation! Enjoy...and stay "fine" listeners! 

We’re excited to return this week with Tonya Bonifer, who works as a physical therapist in a Neurotrauma ICU. Blending tenderness and tenacity, Tonya reflects on how she guides patients through the marathon experience of physical recovery following life threatening situations. You’ll hear how she embodies hope in her literal “dream job” and how her patients inspire her to keep coming back. Thank you Tonya for bringing such strength, skill and grace to this life-restoring work!

As we come to the midway point of season 1, we’re honored to welcome Dr. Rishi Rattan. In this episode, Rishi reflects on what empathy means to him and the sacred moments he experiences by honoring the humanity of his patients, even in the face of death. He opens up about the surprising moment he decided to become a surgeon, when he almost walked away for good and what it took for him to find meaning and joy in his work again. We hope you appreciate the candor, vulnerability and wisdom he shares along the way. Thank you Dr. Rattan for being will to take the risks involved in providing empathetic, person-centered care! 

Thanks so much to Lea Cassidy for sitting down with us for a spirited conversation about what brought her into this important work and what she is learning as she continues to engage the challenge of being a night shift ICU nurse. Lea reflects on her journey with ADHD in this episode and how she harnesses this as a super power to work with her patients. She also processes what it has been like to "steward trauma" as a way to honor her role in relationship to what patients and families are experiencing. Like so many others we get to talk with, Lea is exploring themes of self-care, burnout, boundaries, and compassion fatigue in her own life and work balance. She brings her frustrations and triumphs authentically. Thank you, Lea, for your hard work and your compassionate care...and thank you also for your contagious laughter!!!!!!! 

It's the "Smithsters"!!!!!!!! 

Besties Alysa Smith and Genelle Smith (no relation, what?) join us on the podcast today for an episode that brings a lot of laughter, joy, and heartfelt care. Genelle is an ICU nurse, and Alysa is an emergency department and together they are an unstoppable force of wisdom and humor. These two have contagious energy and deep compassion for each other's work. They bring some wonderful stories and experiences, as well as reflections on what it has been like for them to have friends who are in the hospital and how they manage complicated emotions as they balance being informed in medicine and members of a tight knit community. We could have talked to these two for hours...we literally didn't want our time to end! Thank you Genelle and Alysa for your work and your willingness to share vulnerably about your work.  

"911 What's your emergency? "

Hopefully these are words you have never had to hear, but if you have, you'll be glad if Jasper Bawcom is on the other line, waiting and ready to dispatch services to you! Jasper brings deep reflection into his work, as well as powerful stories from his unique and high paced work. Jasper is insightful, compassionate, and professional in his role and is a delightful guest. This is certainly an episode to share around with family and friends who have had to use 911 services and others who may just be interested in this sort of work. Thank you, Jasper, for your work and for this spirited conversation! 

Like what you hear? Would you consider supporting our work financially? This podcast has ongoing expenses that Aaron and Mike are currently funding on their own. We welcome your support as we work to continue exploring the emotional lives of healthcare workers, honoring their stories, and exploring what helps them keep coming back. 

This week we have the great opportunity to speak with Adam Haight, who is a Palliative Care social worker. Adam brings a lot of depth and reflection in this conversation as he explores what brought him to this unique work and what continues to offer him meaning as he engages people in very difficult conversations on a daily basis. We especially appreciate Adam's authenticity (both in this interview and in his work) as he candidly explores spirituality and meaning in work. Adam is sincere, reflective, and heart-felt. Thank you Adam, and keep bringing that "woo-woo" energy into your work. 

This week we welcome the delightful and insightful Chelan Metcalf! Chelan is a nurse in on an acute med-surge floor and did her RN training in the thick of covid. She brings laughter and tears in this episode as she explores her unique (and deeply moving) call to this vocation and also explores an event of being assaulted while at work, as well as insight into the daily stresses of nursing. She also happens to be married to Co-Host Aaron Metcalf, but don't hold that against her! Thank you Chelan for your work, insight, and your courage in sharing some difficult situations. 

Quick disclaimer: this episode does have a story of violence. Please do practice discretion in listening. 

In this episode we "Sing (David) Singer's" praises as he explores coping strategies he has learned as a hospital social worker over his 19-year career. David brings wisdom as a seasoned practitioner working in the emergency department of a Level 1 trauma center and as a practicing therapist while not working in the hospital. He brings tremendous joy and compassion into his work, and we dive into how he is able to maintain his level of passion after working with so much trauma. Enjoy David Singer (I know we do!)