·       My sister-in-law had a stillborn. The one-year mark is coming up. Should I say something to her?

·       My brother lost an eleven-year-old son. But he was very special-needs. His bar mitzvah is coming up; they wouldn’t have made a real celebration anyway. Should I say something?

·       Does it make sense that my sister-in-law doesn’t want to talk about her loss while my brother-in-law wants to talk nonstop? I thought men are more reticent.

·       Is it better to say something cliché or just to say nothing?

These questions and more are posed to Mrs. Chumi Friedman all the time. There is no “one-answer-fits-all” here. She doesn’t know the person you are wondering about. But you do. Come listen and hopefully gain some valuable insights. 

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During this time, when our hearts are with our brothers in Eretz Yisrael, when we all need to work on our emunah and we wonder why the world hates us, Mr. Fuld reminds us that halachah b’yaduah she’Eisav sonei l’Yaakov.  We can’t change that. But we can recognize that wherever we may find ourselves, we need to be absolutely committed to making a Kiddush Hashem.

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Rabbi Naftoli Kassorla, Speaker, Teacher and Rebbi in Yerushalayim

Imagine getting an unexpected call informing you that your brother died.  Presumably, you would always remember it as one of the most difficult phone calls of your life. But what happens if you haven’t spoken to that brother or had any kind of real relationship with him in years?

For valid reasons Rabbi Kassorla had found it simply impossible to maintain a relationship with him. In fact, Rabbi Kassorla was told that because of this history, he wasn’t even required to sit shivah. But his wife saw that perhaps it wasn’t so clear-cut. She encouraged her husband to re-ask the shailah. And so began a journey of grief that was very far from typical. Since that fateful phone call, Rabbi Kassorla has worked hard on himself, grappling with feelings of grief and confusion. Today, he has so much to share about that journey.     

Rabbi Kassorla can be reached at mailto:nkassorla@gmail.com


 

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He was part of the same tragedy that was my life. But as Mr. Aaron Broyde says repeatedly, it was from a seat further back. No one realized how much the loss of his relatives affected him because he was a nineteen-year-old bachur learning in yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael during that time.

He had stomach problems. The Israeli water is easy to blame for that. He had sleeping issues. Whatever. But after living with these issues for many years, even getting married and building his own family, Aaron said, “I can’t. I just can’t do this anymore.”  Finally, he invested time in understanding what trauma means. He spent time learning about neurological pathways. And he devoted time learning how to live with happiness and connection. 

He found his own way. But I think it can become the way for many other people too.

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Novelist and well-known contributor to frum publications

The young mother checked in to the hospital to have a baby. Nothing out of the ordinary. But this time, nothing went as expected. Not many people die from childbirth today, but Mrs. Benssousan’s daughter Miriam did. When her birth experience went awry, the doctors worked all night, desperately trying to ensure a happy outcome. They saved the baby. But the mother remained in a coma for the next four months until she passed away. This precious newborn never got to know her mother. Her two older sisters have, at best, only hazy memories.

And then, before the year of aveilus was done, tragedy struck again. Mrs. Benssousan’s six-year-old grandson came down with what appeared to be a simple infection.  But complications set in. For six months he fought for his life before succumbing.

Yet, despite her losses, Barabara is such a positive person. She clings to her emunah. And she clings to doing what is right.

She has been through a lot and she has a lot to offer.

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Mrs. Soroh Leah (Rickman) Cohen

The Getting Used to Having a Pebble in Your Shoe podcast with Rabbi Benjy Rickman has gotten many hundreds of views. If you listen, you will understand why. When his son Tuli passed away, his world ended. The pain was so intense, it seemed to him that life must have stopped for the whole world. How could life move forward when his beloved son had died? But life did move forward, and Rabbi Rickman learned how to move forward with his pain, role-modeling for his family how to do so as well. 

And then Hashem blessed the family with a simchah. It was with much gratitude and joy that they celebrated the engagement and wedding of their daughter Soroh Leah. 

Like her father, Soroh Leah Rickman, now Cohen, has so much to share, but this time from the perspective of one who lost a sibling. She was so close to Tuli. She missed him like crazy. He wasn’t even at her wedding. But her husband is getting to know the brother-in-law he never met. Listening to Mrs. Cohen’s experiences and insights will give listeners a peek into what it can be like for those who lost a sibling.

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She was Rebbetzin Rubin, but she was known as Chaiky. She had a way with people. Everyone who knew her felt loved and embraced by her – because she loved life, and she loved the people in her life. Whether it was her congregants or the ladies from the exercise class she gave, they all felt how deeply she cared.

Chaiky was a powerhouse of a person. She was always on the go, yet somehow had time for everyone.  She was on the phone with her grandson Pinny one day, but she needed to leave to be on time for her exercise class. She handed the phone to her husband and told him, “Here, you talk to Pinny.” And then she died.

Her husband, a choshuve rav and mechanech, introduces himself as Chaiky’s husband. Because to him that is who he is. He is everything because of his wife. It is four years now since her petirah.  He says, “The searing pain has diminished somewhat, but it hasn’t disappeared. I live with it always.”

Yet through his pain he talks about accepting difficult nisyonos. 

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Rosh Mesivta of Kesser Yonah, well-known speaker, actively involved with LINKS

The Torah recognizes the pain of loss, and the Torah gives us guidelines for navigating loss with the laws of shivah and aveilus, many of which correspond to the state of the neshamah of the niftar. There is much that we deduce about loss from the Torah, whether from Avraham Avinu, Aharon HaKohen or Dovid HaMelech.

Rabbi Plotnik talks to us about loss through the lens of the Torah, sharing stories past and present to give perspective.

Rabbi Plotnik acknowledges that loss is so painful. A he talks about strengthening emunah and learning from those who walked the path ahead of us. He is known to be an inspiring speaker; when you listen to this episode, you will understand why.

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Giving birth to a stillborn baby was so painful. Yet looking back, Mrs. Devorah Schendler saw how that experience strengthened her emunah muscle for the next great challenge – giving birth to a baby diagnosed with Trisomy-13, a syndrome that is incompatible with life. For seven-and-a-half weeks, the Schendlers threw themselves into taking care of their sick baby. At the same time, they had children at home who also needed their mommy; Mrs. Schendler found herself engaged in a balancing act that was confusing and sometimes very difficult. Even when the baby was home, he always came first, yet the children loved him. His petirah was hard on the entire family.

Not too long ago, the Schendlers welcomed a beautiful baby girl into their family. She is a cherished treasure that no one in the family takes for granted. And her name? Well, it is a beautiful name that describes exactly what the family went through.  But to hear what it is, you need to first listen to Devorah share her story.

Link to the book; https://www.israelbookshoppublications.com/store/pc/Compatible-with-Life-p7958.htm

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Prolific author, most recently of the book Uplift

She was a young mother with a houseful of children, and at this difficult time in her life, she felt torn in too many directions. Should she stay with her sick and dying mother or go home to her sick children who need a mommy to care for them? It seemed as if her mother was holding her own, so she left the hospital to be with her children for a bit. 

While still in the car on the way home, she got the call. Her mother had died. Alone in the hospital without her only child at her side. 

Rachel was very hard on herself. How could she have left her mother? What had she been thinking?

It took some time until eventually she realized that what had happened hadn’t been in her control. Nothing is. Hashem orchestrates each event so that they happen just the way they are supposed to. And Rachel believes her mother was somehow waiting for her daughter to leave before she died. She was protecting her little girl until the last moment.

She did take the lessons of her experience with her. Many years later when her elderly father-in-law was dying, she went to great lengths so that her husband wouldn’t miss the petirah.  With a flurry of last-minute arrangements, she and her husband were present when her father-in-law passed away. 

She obviously didn’t sit shivah for her father-in-law. But she “stood” shivah. Because we can lose people we love but don’t have the halachos of an aveil. It was a different journey than when she lost her mother. But it was a journey of loss nonetheless.

In her calm way, Mrs. Rachel Stein offers clarity and understanding about different kinds of loss and grief. 

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Lag Ba’Omer taf shin peh aleph (2021) is seared into our collective Jewish memory. It was on that day that a stampede took place in Meron, resulting in death and injury for many people.

At first it seemed that Dovi was safe. Then his parents were unsure. And then it was confirmed: Dovi had been killed in Meron. 

How does a mother handle such news? Mrs. Steinmetz was in shock. It made no sense. How could it be?  The Steinmetzes rushed to get to Eretz Yisrael. But in Ben Gurion airport the security personnel gave them a hard time, still particular about Covid restrictions.

Come listen to this strong woman. Hear her pain and her chizzuk. Hear the realness in her words and about her decision to be okay despite not being okay.

Because after losing a child, a mother will never be the same.

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He was only four years old when his mother died. His memories of her are vague, and most of them are built from the pictures he has seen and the stories people have shared.  

A year-and-a-half after his mother’s passing his father remarried. Rabbi Ellis shares that his stepmother is a wonderful person, and he has always had a good relationship with her. But while he grew up with two parents and a beautiful model of shalom bayis, he did not grow up with a mother. Because there is no replacement for a mother.

When Rabbi Ellis was growing up, he was sure that he was the only yasom in the world. When he did find a peer who also lost a parent, he was quick to connect with him. He was always a good listener and people opened up to him. He feels that this led him to his career as a therapist. Today he is a successful therapist in Passaic, NJ, and he is very involved in Shloimy’s Club, the boys’ division of LINKS.

He is also an author and has written about the silver linings he has found in different unique situations. Come learn from the boy who grew up without a mother.

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She woke up one night and heard heavy rain outside her window. In a state of panic, she called her father and asked, “Where are the shovels?  It’s raining. My child is cold. We must go dig him out of his grave.”

Meet Zissy Muller. No, she isn’t crazy. She is a mother who lost her child.  When her beloved son died completely unexpectedly, she was thrust into a brand-new world of pain that was so intense, it felt as if she was being burned by a blazing flame.  Continuing with life seemed so impossible – and also, so wrong. How could she go on when her child would never grow up?

Although she couldn’t dig her son out of his grave, she dug and dug internally to get to a place of acceptance and serenity. She wanted to be a happy person despite her pain.

Zissy says it as it is. She offers a wealth of guidance in how to grow from pain. And yes, her heart still feels the burning pain at times; never is there a day that she doesn’t think about her son. But the fire has died down to flickering sparks, which flare up on occasion.

This podcast offers chizzuk to those that lost a child and deep insight into what parents might experience after losing a child. Even many years after the loss.
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Rabbi Sruli Fried, MSW

Director of Chai Lifeline NJ/PA

When a young child (in the NJ/PA) region has just been diagnosed, is on his deathbed or has just been niftar, Rabbi Fried is there. He sits with the family, and he cries with the family. His sensitivity hasn’t waned over time. Likely it has deepened. 

Over the years, parents have shared with Rabbi Fried various things that can be helpful after losing a child and other things that can be hurtful. With true compassion and understanding he relays what he has learned.

I could have easily spoken to Rabbi Fried for a few more hours, but I told him I wouldn’t take more than an hour of his time. I had to keep my word – to him and to my listeners.  I wonder if the listeners would have stayed on for the three hours I wished we could have spoken for.

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Mrs. Chaya Ginzberg

BYA Teacher

Rivky, Mrs. Ginzberg’s daughter, was a young mother of four children when she was niftar.  On this podcast, Mrs. Ginzberg shares how although each family member struggled with their pain in their own way, the family held onto each other for dear life.

With acceptance and faith there were no family politics. The relationship with her son-in-law, grandchildren and her son-in-law’s new wife remained peaceful and respectful. 

And then tragedy struck again when her husband was niftar. But Mrs. Ginzberg shares that she has role models and chinuch from her past to guide her through her challenges. She says, “Aleph is for emunah and beis is for bitachon. My ancestors lost their entire families in the war, but they passed down a legacy of positivity.”

This podcast is shorter than most, but it is packed with inspiration. I think you’ll enjoy listening and gain a lot!

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If you listen to Mrs. Yurkansky, you may be blown away. I know I was. Her son Shaul was a most beloved son and friend. He was gentle and kind, and his mother misses him. It doesn’t matter how many years have gone by. A mother’s heart will never stop aching for her child.

But her connection to him is still strong, and she looks for signals from him. 

Before he died, he said, “Ma, don’t forget about me 24/7.” When I asked her to come onto the podcast, she said, “Of course! It will be me giving over Shaul’s legacy, and Shaul helping me give it over.”

Listen as she keeps his legacy alive with her beautiful, heartfelt words. They give her chizzuk while she gives chizzuk to others.

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When people go through a tough nisayon, it isn’t uncommon to feel angry at Hashem. A person might shut down or feel numb, and they may even feel unable to daven. This can cause a lot of inner turmoil. Where is my emunah? Do I not believe in Hashem? From the time we are young we are taught that everything that happens is from Hashem, so if I’m thinking this way, I must be a terrible person.

Or not. You may just be a person who went through a very painful experience. As humans we might feel these emotions and condemn ourselves when we do. 

Rabbi Kohn so clearly explains how feeling anger and pain or asking questions of Hashem doesn’t mean you don’t believe. There is room for both.  You are not an apikores just because you have these questions. 

Rabbi Kohn explores this concept so beautifully from therapeutic and hashkafic perspectives. Come listen and gain clarity and insight.

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Robin laments that there are so many misconceptions about cremation versus burial. Many people think cremation is cheaper or better for the environment. One person shared that she was scared to be buried because she doesn’t like bugs! Robin clearly explains the fallacy of such thinking. She personally gets involved and does whatever she can to bring fellow Jews to proper kevurah. 

What does this have to do with you? There are many frum people who have non-frum relatives. And that is why this podcast is so important.  Robin’s message is aimed at the frum community. Do you have a non-frum relative, neighbor or friend? Talk to them about kevuras Yisrael now, when they are still living; once they have passed on, their post-death plans will be very difficult to change. 

Are you scared to touch upon this topic or unsure about how to broach it? Robin shares her cell number twice on this podcast. She is waiting to support you through this vital conversation.

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People are typically wired with a tendency toward hope and resilience. Even when a child grows up in an abusive home, the desire to repair the relationship with one’s parent is so strong. An adult child will often try and try to make it work before they realize it’s impossible to change someone else. 

With proper rabbinic guidance, the adult child might need to establish very strict boundaries with the parent or maybe even cut off ties. But every so often there is that little bit of hope. Maybe, just maybe, the parent will finally get it. Maybe the birth of a baby or the marriage of a grandchild will help them see things differently, more clearly. Maybe, the child thinks, it is worth another shot. Usually, it isn’t.

Yet when the parent dies, the hope dies along with the parent. Now, the relationship will never change. If a person was so hurt by the niftar, it makes sense to think that now there will be some relief. But often instead of relief there is guilt, confusion and anger.

When an abusive parent dies, the grief process their children experience can be far more traumatic than if the relationship was healthy and positive. 

Mrs. Leah Subar has honored the Relief from Grief podcast by sharing her experience and insights regarding grieving the death of a family member when the relationship was complicated.

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The young Erika grew up, married and had children. Her father, although elderly, was still alive and a loving grandparent. And then, one day, her father-in-law, who had been perfectly healthy, died. Just like that.

She had to make sense of her elderly sick father still being alive, while her relatively young, healthy father-in-law was not. She had to support a grieving husband while she herself was also grieving. It was a hard time.

One lesson she took to heart was to enjoy whatever time she had with her father. During the last bit of his life, she made sure to have him over and to visit him. She made sure that her children knew their Zaidy.

Now that he has passed on, she misses her father. But she also feels so sad that her children have no Zaidies.

How she aches for her father to continue shepping nachas.

And as the only frum family members, she and her husband know it is up to them and their children to continue giving their Zaidies nachas up in Shamayim.  With that in mind, Mrs. Needelman and her husband continue to work on themselves to grow in Yiddishkeit and in yiras Shamayim. Because after all, her children do have Zaidies. They just have a different kind of relationship with them now.

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When Dovid Hamelech lost his son Avshalom, he screamed “B’ni” nine times with heartrending screams.

Yitzchak Avinu was only comforted many years after losing his mother Sarah, when he brought Rivkah to her tent, and the tent returned to the way it had been when Sarah was alive.

We learn about grief from the Torah.  Rabbi Seltzer shares some of the Torah’s perspectives. 

He also shares many stories that show that those of us still in this world remain connected to our loved one in the Olam Ha’Emes. 

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Many midwives will say they love their job. They help bring pure joy and precious innocence into the world. Mrs. Hoffman loves her job as a doula and soon-to-be midwife – but she was brave enough to take on a different role, the parts that can be so emotionally wrenching and difficult. 

She is the person many people call when they find out they will be giving birth to a stillborn or a baby with a fetal anomaly. Mrs. Hoffman supports them through the delivery and helps them cope with their pain. She is selfless with her time and encouragement. 

In this podcast she shares how it isn’t easy to be in a room with so much pain. But seeing time and again how so many couples come to accept Hashem’s will can be so inspiring.

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But here I am, doing just that – and I get regular calls in response.  People tell me, “Thank you so much. I love your podcast. I am finding it so helpful.” I feel gratified that Hashem has given me the opportunity to do this. Loss is so painful, and if I can help even a small fraction of those in pain, then I am grateful.

Never would I have imagined the vast array of people I have hosted so far. There are those that share their own personal stories of loss, and then there are the rabbis and therapists and founders of important initiatives.

It is so rewarding to see that more and more people are listening. That keeps me going.

Now that it’s over a year since we’ve begun, I decided it was time to review. This isn’t a podcast with one person talking, but rather, snippets from many guests who came on over the past year, sharing their experience or chizzuk.

After you listen, you might just feel like listening to them all.

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His brother Rabbi Meir Kranczer was called to the scene. His other siblings Mr. Mordechai Kranczer and Mrs. Miriam Getter were going about their regular daily routines when they received the life-transforming phone call that their brother had died.

This podcast doesn’t only talk about their experiences and their growth. The conversation with the Kranczer siblings also touches on the important topics of Olam Hazeh, Olam Habah and the coming of Mashiach.

I felt honored to meet and speak with this special family.

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His wife lay on her death bed. Rabbi Rubenstein knew that barring a nes as great as Yetziyas Mitzrayim, his wife was dying. Yet when she said to him, “Promise me that you will remarry – and I even know who you should remarry,” he wanted to scream, “No, no, no.” He didn’t want to admit that his wife was dying. And so he only consented to her requests out of pity that she should not use any more of her waning strength begging him to comply.

Rabbi Rubenstein talks about intellectual responses and heart-based responses. He talks about remarriage and how blended families can be such a blessing or alternatively, how children can tear them apart. He speaks from personal experience. He speaks from rabbinical experience. He is also a sought-after speaker and talented author. He hears stories. He shares stories. He tries to reach out to others and to help.  Have others found him helpful?

Tune it to find out.

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Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier is the founder of theshmuz.com and the author of many books. He is also the man behind The Shmuz, a forty-five-minute weekly shiur that has been enjoyed around the globe for over ten years.

At times emotional pain can be worse than physical pain. It can be more debilitating than a physical injury. And the kind of pain that follows loss can be all-encompassing. Although it is not physical pain, it can hurt in every part of the body. People in the throes of this pain will say, “I can’t do this. I need help” and turn to their rav or rebbe for chizzuk.  Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier is a rabbi who has supported many through painful experiences, and he shares important perspectives on experiencing and handling tough times.

Rabbi Shafier is knowledgeable in many topics of Torah and hashkafah. As a well-known lecturer and author, he offers valuable insights on so many issues that a frum person today might face. His perspective on pain has an interesting twist. “Don’t think it doesn’t hurt or that you shouldn’t feel it,” he says, “but remember…”

Remember what? Tune in to the podcast to hear more.

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“I felt like I lived on a different planet,” Mrs. Waldman says.  “I may have been managing. Perhaps I went to the bus stop with my children, bought my children shoes and did my grocery shopping, just like every other mother. But living without a husband was living on a different planet.”

Her mother introduced her to some friends of hers that were also widows, but they were much older than she was, and she didn’t find it helpful to speak to them. 

One evening she was invited to a get-together for like-minded widows. It was a warm gathering that took place around someone’s dining room table.  Connecting to these women was so comforting. And so, Mrs. Waldman and a friend organized another gathering of this sort. Once and then again and again and again. Word spread, and each time the gatherings grew to include more women. What began around a dining-room table has since grown to become a huge organization known as Samcheinu. 

As soon as she opens her mouth you will appreciate that Mrs. Waldman is a born orator and teacher. She explains the pain of widowhood and the goal of Samcheinu so clearly and articulately that I was really mesmerized. Let me know if you were similarly spellbound!

Samchainu Information: Info@samchainu.org  Phone number: 718-419-8690

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It was Mrs. Samet who first came down with Covid. The children were worried but reassured by their father that she would be fine. And she was, B”H.  When Dr. Samet became sick, although they were also worried, the children encouraged each other that he would also be fine. Unfortunately, the Malach Hamaves snuck in and took the life of this beloved husband, father and doctor.

Mrs. Kraft shares the details of her family’s grief journey. More than anything, her mother and siblings benefited from connecting and from supporting one another. And that is what they continue to do. Most amazingly, their wonderful, positive, understanding mother continues to encourage and help each of her children, as she learns to live without her beloved partner and husband.

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Naftoli had always towered over his father. How painful it was for his parents to watch as he became weaker and weaker until he was niftar. It is now 3+ years later, but the pain of that loss is still so intense. Sometimes it can feel as if a fire is burning around Rabbi Rickman’s heart. He wants his son back. Can you blame him?

Yet his life is a lesson in emunah and how to go forward despite the pain. Rabbi Rickman shares, “The pain is always in my heart. It is something I got used to. But we must go forward. We must because this is what Hashem wants from us.”

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One of the worst possible things a parent can hear is the words: “Your child is very sick,” or “We are trying our best, but pray for a miracle.” Imagine what it must have felt like for the Holmans to hear such words not once, but twice.  Two precious daughters had their lives snuffed out at a very young age. Yet Mr. Holman is happy and upbeat. He doesn’t sit and wallow in his pain. At the same time, he says very clearly that his two girls, Nechomah Liba and Miriam, are with him in his heart every single day.

Many parents who have lost a child grapple with what they can do to keep their child’s memory alive. When Nechomah Liba Holman was niftar, her big sister Miriam helped her parents run a small Shabbaton for families that lost a child. They called it “The Holman Family Retreat.” Miriam was actively involved in running it and creating more programs. She wanted to continue doing something for her little sister. 

Unfortunately, Miriam herself was stricken with a horrible disease, but even in her hospital bed, while in great pain, Miriam did whatever she could for the Shabbaton and for the sake of the grieving family members who would attend.  After her petirah at the age of 21, it made sense to change the name of the Shabbaton to Mayrim – to lift up, something that Miriam had started doing when she was just a young girl. 

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Without warning, Mrs. Ruchi Rosenfeld was thrust into the world of terminal illness and death. In rapid succession she watched as her father, her father-in-law and her mother fell ill and then passed away. For three years straight, her household was in aveilus. The pain she felt during that time was raw and deep.  But after the years of mourning, she was determined to do her best for the neshamos of the niftarim. She set a powerful example of what can and should be done l’ilui nishmas. 

A powerhouse who sees a need and tries to fill it, Ruchy is someone who channeled her pain into many worthy causes. Today she is an active bikur cholim volunteer and director of Kanfei Yonah, an organization that assists families in which a parent is struggling with mental illness or extreme emotional distress. She also co-authored with me the book Comfort, Courage and Clarity, which offers support to adults who have lost a parent.

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Mrs. Judy Landman is a talented poet. When I read her writing, I feel almost as if the words simply flow effortlessly from her pen. I didn’t ask her if that’s true, but I do know that nothing in life is ever that simple – and that is certainly true of her life experiences. Judy was living a comfortable life in Budapest, Hungary when her father suddenly passed away. At the urging of her father’s relatives in America, her mother picked up with Judy and her brother and moved to a new country. 

Judy’s mother was a strong-willed woman who raised her children in a happy, growth-oriented home, and Judy’s memories of her childhood are positive. But the older she got, the more she wondered about her father. Her memories of him were just a wisp of something. She longed for a clearer picture.

Judy may never have known her father, but her grief was real. And her grief journey led her to becoming the director of Blinks (the Baltimore branch of Links). Why not come listen as she shares her story?

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Mrs.Nechama  Avigayil Brailofsky grew up as Avigayil Gobioff – although her last name was actually Shafronsky. Avigayil never had the chance to know her father— not even for a day. Her father, R’ Avrohom Zelik Shafronsky, a budding talmid chacham, was niftar before his precious baby daughter was born. Avigayil grew up in a loving, stable home with her mother, stepfather, sister and a bunch of half siblings. Still, she held onto a strong determination to carry on her special father’s legacy. She felt couldn’t she let him down.

Today, she leads “The Share,” an interactive weekly shiur. She is the founder of Hallel, a nonprofit fund for emotional healing. She is also a transformational coach and the facilitator of “Balance through the Sefiros,” a workshop that combines art and deep concepts to heal and achieve balance in all relationships. And in case that isn’t enough, she is a public speaker, as well as an instructor for kallah teachers.

Indeed, she is creating a beautiful legacy in her father’s footsteps.

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Come listen to three sisters who shared a journey but have each forged their own paths.

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When Esti began feeling abdominal pains early in her third trimester, her sisters urged her to check out what sounded like labor pains. Esti laughed at them. After all, she was a long way from her due date. Why would she be in labor? She wasn’t laughing a few hours later as her twin son and daughter were born.  They may have been preemies, but they were fighters. Her little boy Yosef Leib was doing well.  And then he developed an infection. He fought to live, but Hashem willed otherwise. 

 Eighteen years later, Esti is a happy, upbeat person and a real pleasure to talk to, but she still holds the pain of her loss in her heart and freely admits that she misses her little boy. At the same time, she shares lessons and inspiration that might blow you away.

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Noted speaker and lecturer, beloved Rebbetzin 

Rebbetzin Feigy Twerski is a devoted Rebbetzin in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She is also a well-known writer and speaker. I very much enjoy reading her columns and was delighted when she agreed to join us on the podcast. She has navigated many challenges in her own life and has also served as a support for countless community members. Listening to her speak from personal experience, as well as from the perspective of a mentor/rebbetzin, is truly intriguing. 

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It might be your high-school friend, or it might be your daughter’s high-school friend that lost a parent. What should you say? How do you know if you said something hurtful or helpful? Maybe you feel confused, not knowing what is the right and wrong thing to do or say. Or maybe what was right yesterday is wrong today.  It isn’t easy to know, and it’s likely you’ll get it wrong at some point. But this speech is enlightening, as it gives some guidelines and answers questions that came straight from the girls.

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Whatever your level of religious observance, when you experience a loss, you might have many questions: Where is the neshamah now? How do I know that he or she is really happy? This can bring up other questions, questions about your own mortality: when I die, where will I go? Will I have regrets about the life I lived? 

Mrs. Lori Palatnik, author of the book Remember My Soul, explores this topic with us. She describes how the neshamah doesn’t want to be born and then doesn’t want to die. This is the story of every soul’s journey; gaining a greater understanding of this journey can help you find deeper meaning and focus in your life.

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Founder and Editor, Uplift magazine

Chani is one of two children of Harav Y. Reuven and  Rebbetzin Chaiky Rubin. As an only daughter, she enjoyed an especially close relationship with her mother, a well-known and beloved role model in their community. But one day, with no warning, Rebbetzin Rubin died. Chani was at such a loss; she missed her mother terribly.

Instead of wallowing in her pain, Chani undertook to do something l’iluy nishmas her mother, and that’s how Uplift magazine was created. Rebbetzin Rubin dedicated her life to uplifting Jewish women; fittingly, Chani created this women’s magazine to focus on facilitating those daily conversations we all wish we could have but feel inhibited to express aloud; now it has grown into a beautiful, full-color monthly publication.

If you live in the UK, you probably have access to this inspiring publication. Exciting update: the soon-to-be released newest issue will now be available to readers in NY, LA, Miami and the Catskills.

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When you think of grief and loss, do you think of jokes and laughter?  Probably not. It’s not typically a topic that will make people laugh. But morbid humor takes the sadness and makes you laugh. It can give a brokenhearted person relief from the pain even if just for a few seconds.

Sarah Rivkah and I share that common love of morbid humor. It hurts so much to lose loved ones, and all the jokes in the world won’t take away that pain, but for those few seconds that something funny and morbid come to mind, I want to share it and laugh with others over it. 

As Sarah Rivkah laughs and cries, she also accomplishes. What started off as a small newsletter entitled Links, morphed into a huge organization, with hundreds of girls and dozens of programs. The goal of Links is to help ease the pain of children and teenagers that lost a parent – no matter what it takes. And if someone has an idea that may benefit these girls or boys, whether it is big or small, Sarah Rivkah Kohn is on it.  So come listen and laugh and cry along with us.

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Author, Speaker and Mohel

Rabbi Paysach J. Krohn is a well-known and beloved mohel, author and speaker – and I don’t think he really needs any introduction. For me this podcast is so valuable because he talks about my bubby and my father, two very special people. He also understands so well what a person might be experiencing after a loss and offers valuable and practical tips for how to move forward. As always, Rabbi Krohn is inspirational and interesting.

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As she cared for her mother with singular dedication, Chaya Leah found herself grieving for the mother she once had but was now slipping away.  When her mother was niftar, the intensity of emotions Chaya Leah felt surprised her, as she thought she had already grieved for the loss of her mother.

But grief does strange things to a person.

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After the birth of her own special-needs child, Sarah was no longer able to work with this population. Ultimately, she opened her own therapy company, which allowed her to care for all her children, while helping other families in so many ways. 

One of Sarah’s overriding messages to those training in the medical field is to do what you can to remain compassionate but at the same time to do what it takes not to burn out.

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But that is exactly what happened. And Avram had to face a whole new reality: Shabbos and yom tov without his father; making decisions about which yeshivahs to attend without his father; seeing his mother as an aching widow.

Despite the challenges, he knew he wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, living the life of an ehrliche ben Torah and filling his days with chesed.

Come listen to this husband and father as he relates his struggles and growth as a boy who suddenly became an orphan.

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He knows the pain of loss because he experienced it. As a rabbi, he frequently helps his congregants navigate loss. Although he doesn’t always know what to say in the face of others’ pain, here he offers some of the stories, insights and ideas he shares that might be helpful during your time of loss and grief. 

As you listen to him speak, you will hopefully be inspired and find the strength to carry on.

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Mrs. Risa Rotman

Author of Terror and Emunah in Har Nof

It was a calm morning, and Mrs. Risa Rotman was looking forward to catching up on housework and errands. Instead she heard sirens. Sirens she tried to ignore until she couldn’t anymore. There had been a terrible terrorist attack in the Har Nof shul, directly down the block from her house. Men who had been davening there had been killed. Risa’s husband was one of the victims.

Rabbi Rotman survived the actual attack but remained in a coma for a year. Risa remained dedicated to his care until he passed away.  She learned to juggle taking care of her sick husband with the responsibilities of being a single mother. And through it all, she felt herself growing closer and closer to Hashem. She was strongly encouraged by a good friend to keep a journal. “It will help you,” she insisted. The end result of that journal is her book, Terror and Emunah in Har Nof. The book is inspiring and so is its author. Listen as she talks about the terror and trauma she lived through and grew from.

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Mr. Meir (Donni) Silverstein, LCSW

Donni Silverstein experienced multiple losses in his life. But none of the losses were any that required him to sit shivah. Still, the pain he felt was so intense. He started doubting if he was normal. His life wasn’t affected on a daily basis by these deaths. He could have gone a year without speaking to the people who had passed away. So why was he having such a strong reaction to their deaths? 

Come listen as Donni shares how he learned that the loss of people from one’s childhood can be really painful. And even if his reaction was stronger than those of other members of his family, there was nothing wrong with him. Losing a childhood friend, even one with whom you spoke once a year, is a genuine loss.

As Donni trained to become a licensed social worker, he gained a greater understanding of how loss affects us. And with this newfound clarity, he shares his journey of loss and healing.

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Israeli-American author, mother and activist; founder of The Koby Mandell Foundation

Koby Mandell was a good boy. One day he acted a bit out of character and skipped school to hike in the canyon near his home. That decision cost him his life. Koby, just thirteen years old, was cruelly killed by Arab terrorists. 

His mother Sherri had to learn how to live in a new world, a world in which her son was no longer present. The pain she experienced was intense.  In her book The Road to Resilience, Sherri teaches us that we can get through the most painful situations. It doesn’t mean we won’t feel the pain. But with the right support, we can be okay.

Hear how Mrs. Sherri Mandell took her heartbreaking experience and used it as the impetus for creating the Koby Mandell Foundation. Listen as she shares how she learned to find her resilience. Be inspired at the strength that a grieving mother demonstrates. 

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Certified Life Coach Director-Little Links of Pearls

As a young girl, Toby knew she was different, but she couldn’t explain how. It was just a feeling she carried around with her. In those days, the general mindset was not to tell children anything. The less they knew the better. And that’s why Toby was carrying around a secret – a secret that became a burden – and she wasn’t even sure what it was.

Come listen to Toby’s story. Come hear how a picture in the attic confirmed her suspicions: her father was actually her stepfather. Her biological father had died when she was a baby.

Although her relationship with her stepfather was warm and loving, she says, “I still felt a need to know where I came from. I always wanted to know more about my biological father.”

Growing up in a wonderful blended family didn’t negate the reality that she was an orphan. Decades later, she still feels the pain of her loss. On this podcast she offers her insights about what life can be like for an orphan who never knew her parent. 

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Some of the goals I hope to realize with this podcast include normalizing grief, bringing awareness to the general population and helping people recognize that certain thoughts and behaviors stem from grief.

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