Lucidesse - Inspiring Strokes of Genius

#165 Glorious Wisdom: The Octopus

Sun, 07 Jun 2026 08:00:00 -0600

I am an octopus. 🐙 And it’s hard to explain. But here, I try. And in so doing, I understand a bit better what it’s like to be in relationship with one. 😂 Plus, all the glorious wisdom they offer.

#164 Embodied Presence: Explained!

Wed, 27 May 2026 10:00:00 -0600

What is embodied presence? How is it found, discovered, achieved, done, become, learned, BE? Well, I'm not sure. That's why I continue to learn what it is, and how it might be 'BE'.

#163 Two Rocks, Same Team, Integrity brings Clarity

Tue, 26 May 2026 20:00:00 -0600

What happens when two rocks meet, and realize they are on the same team, and play a game so quick it takes only 57 minutes for a home run and game over? Well, clarity is what happens. The two rocks get real clear, real fast. And that's great because none of us has much time! So hurry up!

#162 The Art of Integrity: Boulder to Pillar

Sat, 16 May 2026 11:00:00 -0600

In this episode, I trace my humble beginnings of integrity--as a heavy boulder--to my beautiful pillar of integrity, today. I've worked hard to learn how to create beauty with integrity, while being immovable with it, like Ozen from the anime The Abyss (which I highly recommend everyone watch!) So, cheers to everyone who practices integrity, with themselves, with others, with life, with energy, with it ALL! Best of luck!

#161 Mother’s Day: A complex celebration

Sun, 10 May 2026 21:00:00 -0600

Mother’s Day is not easy. So many have lost their mother, to death or estrangement, and so many have lost a child, to death or estrangment. This isn’t a carefree day for many — it’s complex, complicated, emotional, confusing. And it want to acknowledge that truth.

#160 Transmissions! From Therapist to Cosmos.

Fri, 17 Apr 2026 18:00:00 -0600

This is a fabulous episode with a wonderful update on my therapy sessions, along with a raw view into my process of creating and understanding the cosmos of my book, through the cosmos of our universe!

#159 Reimagining Fairy Tales: A New Perspective

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 09:00:00 -0600

What if fairy tales are wise, and filled with great nuggets of gold? We just have to shake them up a bit, see what's beneath the veneer, and then the stain, and the warped wood, and the rough grains, and ... then we might find some really fun stuff.

#158 Who Knows What Comes Next?

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 07:00:00 -0600

There are so many unknowns in life, the most simple being ‘what comes next’. Who can answer that question? Who can tell where exactly we are in this cosmic dust? And how do we make meaning of something we barely know? Or clearly don’t know. This episode is like scrambled eggs - so enjoy the mess.

#157 Sunday Morning Musings

Sun, 12 Apr 2026 08:00:00 -0600

A slow walkabout, studying trees and all their wisdom, wondering about what works, what doesn't, and the mysterious why --and when-- because some moments it doesn't and then suddenly it does. Letting go. Holding hope. Trusting myself, trusting my nervous system, as it is today. Just being who and what I am.

#156 Transmissions Between Us: Therapists, Friends, Lovers

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 14:00:00 -0600

We are constantly transmitting information, so why not transmit what we really need to say? Transmit our needs, desires, wishes, and then show up for ourselves in that way, with the people who CAN and WANT to join us in doing that. How do we help therapists help us, while we help ourselves? How do we seek deeper intimacy in relationship AND honor that not everyone wants what we want? How do we exchange transmissions, exchange ideas and beliefs and hopes and dreams, such that our lives become food for our souls? I don’t know. But I’m hoping to try.

#155 Septua Sanguis /The Eight Temptations: 9

Sat, 04 Apr 2026 13:00:00 -0600

This is a story about the Seven Deadly Sins, and the Eighth who rules them. We have Wrath, Greed, Pride, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, and Lust. But don't forget the Eighth Temptation, Sorrow. Perhaps she is the most powerful. After the Mother's of course, Destiny and Desire. But they are shadowed by their own Mother, Darkness. And she too is shadowed by her parents, Time and Space. Yet, who are their Masters? And who is giving the reader advice? What oracle knows more than this realm reveals?

#154 The Eye of the Needle called LOVE

Sun, 29 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0600

We all say we want to love full and deeply, but do we? I have found the eye of the needle to be quite small! Not love itself, but the eye! Every time I am threaded through, it burns away another part of me -- and can be painful! So... ask. Are you ready?

#153 Affirmations for "I Have A Voice"

Sun, 15 Mar 2026 10:00:00 -0600

I have a voice It speaks my story, my experience, my life. It doesn’t sound like anyone else’s voice. It doesn’t speak anyone else’s words. It speaks my voice. My voice, my words. My life. I once thought it was supposed to sound like everyone else's, But it isn’t. It’s supposed to sound like mine, because it is...

#152 My St. Patrick's Day Story (A Challenge!)

Sat, 14 Mar 2026 21:00:00 -0600

I wrote this little ditty for a writer's party on St. Patrick's Day, and I challenged myself by using every prompt given! Best of the Irish to you!

#151 Challenges! Fight VS Friction

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 08:00:00 -0600

When we face challenges, or even better, when we choose to challenge ourselves, when is friction enough? Or is it always enough? Or are there times when fight is needed? I don't know! But explore these questions.

#150 Septua Sanguis /The Eight Temptations: 7 & 8

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 21:00:00 -0700

#149 When ‘My’ Experience May Help Others 2

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 07:00:00 -0700

These are my final thoughts about offering advice to someone who is going through a rape trial. And I hope that, although my experience may not be directly relevant, perhaps the energies needed for such an endeavor are transferred and all can be just a little more well than it is now.

#148 When 'My' Experience May Help Others 1

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 11:00:00 -0700

I have often told myself, during difficult times, that I hope to help others who may find themselves in such difficulty. Today I had a direct request for advice on how to navigate a rape trial. Not that I know the answer, nor that there is one, but since I tried, in my own way, perhaps sharing what I learned can help another.

#147 Doorways of Pain. Difficulty. Impossibility!

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 07:00:00 -0700

My initial doorway of learning was pain. Just the one. It was the only way to get my attention. I’ve since learned there are many other doorways available, if I pay attention. And yet, sometimes pan is still the way to deepest learning. So how do I learn from pain?

#146 Septua Sanguis/The Eight Temptations Ch. 6

Fri, 13 Feb 2026 17:00:00 -0700

GREED! We finally get to meet Greed! This is a story about the Seven Deadly Sins, and the Eighth who rules them. We have Wrath, Greed, Pride, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, and Lust. But don't forget the Eighth Temptation, Sorrow. Perhaps she is the most powerful. After the Mother's of course, Destiny and Desire. But they are shadowed by their own Mother, Darkness. And she too is shadowed by her parents, Time and Space. Yet, who are their Masters? And who is giving the reader advice? What oracle knows more than this realm reveals?

#145 'Why The Caged Bird Sings' and 'Forgiveness/Apologies'

Sun, 08 Feb 2026 18:00:00 -0700

Two, 12-minute-timed, impromptu, short stories from a dinner party -- and what they taught me. Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. A quote by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, which I can't quite recall. The two writings are very distinct, one is the joyful part of my soul, the other is a deeper, contemplative part of my soul, shining light on things I haven't yet seen or understood.

#144 Take Personally? Or balance with Care.

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 08:00:00 -0700

Do I take how others feel personally? Do I let their opinions define me? Especially when they all feel so differently about me! Who is correct about me? Anyone? Maybe not even me 😆 And when I take it personally, how does that affect my ability to care. Truly care. 💛 Is there a way for me to care without getting involved with their opinions?

#143 Septua Sanguis / The Eight Temptations Ch. 5

Sat, 31 Jan 2026 20:00:00 -0700

A story about the Seven Deadly Sins, and the Eighth who rules them. We have Wrath, Greed, Pride, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, and Lust. But don't forget the Eighth Temptation, Sorrow. Perhaps she is the most powerful. After the Mother's of course, Destiny and Desire. But they are shadowed by their own Mother, Darkness. And she too is shadowed by her parents, Time and Space. Yet, who are their Masters? And who is giving the reader advice? What oracle knows more than this realm reveals?

#142 Septua Sanguis / The Eight Temptations Ch. 4

Sat, 31 Jan 2026 20:00:00 -0700

#141 Oracles, Defining Community, Inner Circle

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 11:00:00 -0700

I share an oracle I did through yi jing (i-ching) and how it showed me that the decision I made was correct. This is helpful for me in remembering my definition of community, connection, communication, is not the same as others. And that when true resonance--for me--is not found though proximity, but through the strength of integrity and authenticity. I also touch upon the sacredness of our inner circle, our inner garden, our sanctuary.

#140 Therapy, Armor, Impossible!

Sat, 24 Jan 2026 09:00:00 -0700

I bumble through my change in therapy styles, therapists, un-armor-ing myself, and the impossible task of understanding oneself AND another person! I also share the beloved quote: I walk slowly into myself, through a forest of empty suits of armor. ~ Tomas Transtromer

#139 Right? or Heard, Held, Honored.

Wed, 21 Jan 2026 15:00:00 -0700

Long ago, I began to say the words heard, held, honored. I liked the way they sounded, and they felt good, but I wasn’t sure what they were all about. Recently, as I’ve been having conversations centered around conflict, I began to understand that what I wanted most is to be heard, held, honored. I don’t care about being right. I have no need to convince anyone of anything. So, the next time you have a conversation centered around some kind of conflict, consider how important it is for you to be right, then consider how important it is for you to be heard, held, honored. This difference could take a lot of pressure off the conversation. And give everyone space to breathe.

#138 Fixing Love for Me 💝

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 13:00:00 -0700

I realize I can no longer fix myself for anyone else. Issues other people have with me are beyond my ability to fix. Or at least I no longer have the desire or the energy or the interest in trying to fix those issues for other people. So I’m now relying on my desire to fix things for myself. Just for me. So that things inside this house I call me are as pleasant as they can be.

#137 Septua Sanguis / The Eight Temptations: Chapter 3

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 14:00:00 -0700

A story about being human, and all the temptations, all the ways we succeed, all the ways we fail, all the ways we learn, and don't. It's about a world within a world, and realms beyond our imagination, except they exist. So, why not take a look and see what there is to see.

#136 Septua Sanguis / The Eight Temptations: Chapter 2

Fri, 12 Dec 2025 18:00:00 -0700

This is the second chapter in my novel about The Eight Temptations, which evolved into what we now call The Seven Deadly Sins. But this is so much more than these powerful characters, in fact, they are not even the major players!

#135 Transform Eating into: Full, Calm, Enough

Wed, 10 Dec 2025 18:00:00 -0700

I began a new eating habit while at my ten day meditation retreat BUT it has become so much more! I am learning what it means to be calm, content, whole, full, enough! I am experiencing fullness, abundance, enjoyment, and satisfaction while eating, but also in other daily activities. This practice is changing my experience of and relationship with calm, content, whole, full, satisfied, enough, enjoyment -- and joy!

#134 Healthy & Balanced begins with Crayons & Patience

Sat, 29 Nov 2025 07:00:00 -0700

Over the last six months I've used colored paper and simple phrases to help build a daily life where my habits are healthy and balanced. You can do it to! All you need are crayons and patience! I'll show you how to create a weekly calendar that is filled with the things you want to do in life, and it's interactive. An interactive calendar so you can see your progress. Places where you're doing well, places where you've got some resistance. And you start new every week. Every day, really! Let's begin...

#133 After 10 Day Silent Meditation ~ Vipassana

Wed, 26 Nov 2025 07:00:00 -0700

I just finished another 10 day silent Vipassana meditation course. I share three main takeaways from it. First, my strong reaction to any change! Second, my habitual reaction to make things more intense than they already are. Third, the synchronous combining of harmonious or relational vibrations.

#132 Refined by Loss, Not defined by Loss.

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 08:00:00 -0700

I share my latest understanding of allowing loss or failure to refine me in the present moment, but not define me, nor my future. My heart also wishes me to learn this so it can have the space to participate in my life, in my refinement, in my future. I am never defined by a moment, I am refined by it.

#131 Build A Structure. Not Boundaries.

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0700

It’s time to build a structure that is capable of being you, and of doing what you feel called to do. As you build this structure, you reclaim parts of yourself, parts that have been serving as boundaries, in order to protect you. But once you integrate that part of yourself that was a boundary, the function of that boundary is also integrated so you don’t need the boundary. It is inside you, integrated into the structure you’ve built, are building, for and of yourself. Build a structure that can be and is you. Boundaries will naturally integrate.

#130 How to Make the Best Altar 🕯️

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0700

There is only one thing you need to make the most amazing altar ever and that is your awareness. The second thing that’s helpful to remember is that your altar is alive. It is a living growing changing being. It needs to be cleaned, it needs to be pruned, it needs to be you. Your relationships, your struggles, your blessings. Your altar is a physical representation of your energetic and spiritual self, and journey. So give your altar your awareness and watch it grow!

#129 My Parts-Work in Action

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 15:00:00 -0600

I share two different experiences of doing parts work, one was brilliant! The other less so. But both taught me the importance of recognizing the part that is iron-fisted, inflexible, because they need immediate attention. I also surprised myself by hearing other parts that are so grateful! But their voice wasn’t heard until I calmed and addressed the one(s) with great need. All parts are not equal 😆💛

#128 things NOT happening are NOT loss/failure

Wed, 22 Oct 2025 09:00:00 -0600

I realized I have an absurd relationship and understanding of things NOT happening in my life. I think they are loss or failure. But how can something NOT happening be a loss, how can it be taken away, or, how can it be a failure, if I never did it? And how does this thinking keep me from 'making the asks' in my life that lead to connection, creativity, growth, love!

#127 The Morning After. What Now?

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 08:00:00 -0600

The morning after I found out my rape trial is 'cancelled'... What now? How do I live again? Love again? Relax my nervous system? Think beyond all that I've known for three years? And put down the burden?

#126 When It’s Over. Begin Again. (Rape Trial Conclusion)

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0600

Had a call today with the prosecuting attorney. (I didn’t see this coming… even though I have felt for the last few weeks that I just need to live and not worry about the trial.) After 3.5 years, the State of Utah has decided to withdraw the case. They now feel there isn't enough evidence to convince a jury. So. It’s all over…. I’m not sure how I feel. Disappointed. Relieved. Surprised. Weird…

#125 Dying to Live Again (again!)

Sat, 18 Oct 2025 10:00:00 -0600

Dying is a process. I takes more than saying words, or feeling emotions, or even enduring the chaos of the mind as its old structures die. It takes a process, day to day to day, the messy, mucky, even miserable. I'm in that process and I want to remember what it's like, so I can be humble when I 'm not. And I want to acknowledge it so anyone else out there in a similar space doesn't feel alone, or weird, or ....anything but perfectly normal!

#124 Jekyll & Hyde In Me :)

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 09:00:00 -0600

Well, here goes shame! I am admitting there has been more than one me in here, and possibly more than two, but let's stick with two for today, namely, Jekyll & Hyde. Those two lovables have been here for a bit but I haven't wanted to acknowledge them. So, someone else did it for me. How lucky am I?!

#123 Body Lockdown=Misunderstanding

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 10:00:00 -0600

My left hip spoke to me recently, told me that it locked-down 15 years ago because of a misunderstanding, my misunderstanding; I did not understand the situation, my self, others, and healthy responsibility. Today, my left hip is cautiously unlocking. We are talking. I am understanding, and learning. ALWAYS LEARNING!

#122 Patience before Hard Conversations is Magic

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 13:00:00 -0600

I have worked my whole life to have healthy, healing, strengthening conversations, the ones which require each person to dwell in the discomfort of their vulnerability, their authenticity. I’m finally doing that. And not just doing it, I’m understanding a few of the keystones which lead up to those moments when hard conversations become something magical, transformational; Like a rainbow becoming raindrops of color, our nervous systems become a dazzling array of possibilities, of new understandings, of bridges. I thank those in my life who practice this art with me. Priceless.

#121 The Golden Thread of Resilience

Wed, 24 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0600

I am resilient. But not all the time. It happens best when I find the golden thread of my journey, and follow. I don’t just find this thread lying around, I align with it, resonate with it, listen and feel for it. And then, when I find it, I see that I’ve given up all the other possible journeys for this one, for mine, for me in this moment.

#120 Love Letter To My Nervous System

Thu, 18 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0600

After 15 years of having a very active nervous system, and so faithful, like Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park, I’m done. This is my love letter of farewell to this habitual triggering, and also an invitation to harness all that energy into a symbiotic relationship, a meaningful and productive life. I’m dying to live my purpose again. So, as my mother said, “Take my hand. We go soon.”

#119 Fighting to Live & Dying to Live

Sat, 13 Sep 2025 08:00:00 -0600

I know 'fighting to live' very well. What is new to me is 'dying to live'. I thought it would be a less active process but it requires much of the same, namely, awareness, acceptance, allowance, but with less outward physical, and even mental, actions. I don't think either is better, there is a time to fight and a time to die, and both can lead to new life, they are like mini-deaths along our journey. FYI: I hope you don't solve the puzzle I'm doing before I do!

#118 The Bookends Of My Mother's Life

Fri, 12 Sep 2025 09:00:00 -0600

My grandmother is one bookend. I am the other, or one of them. And it wasn't until I spoke my grandmother's words about my mother, at my mother's memorial service, that I began to understand just how deep the ties are between generations, not simply with parents. And it's beautiful for me to see this continue from my mother to my son. I hope they find the same strength, solace, wisdom and grace that I've found (cultivated!) with my grandmother.

#117 Streams of Grief into One Grieving

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 09:00:00 -0600

We have many sources of grief and they flow like streams into one pool. When a great loss comes, that pool is given an opening and the waters flow for ALL the streams of grief. We are given the gift of grieving, for not just the current loss, but all the losses, from all the sources of our griefs.

#116 Sorrow. Grief. Loss. Affirmations. (Pt. 2)

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 08:00:00 -0600

More musings, thoughts, experiences of grief, sorrow, loss, death, and the natural yet overwhelming (at times) waves of these energies, emotions, teachers. The dark purple robes of Sorrow came to me nearly 20 years ago, I know Her well, and have learned to love Her. Sorrow is a Queen among royalty. Truly, the finest of ladies.

#115 My Mother's Passing...

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0600

A few days before my mother passed, I wrote her a letter. And then she wrote me back - immediately! Such a sweet surprise. I Love You, Mom. Miss you already. Wish you the safest travels. Call as soon as you can, I'm here, waiting...

#114 Septua Sanguis / The Eight Temptations: Prologue

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 19:00:00 -0600

A novel about humanity, divinity, time, space, and why we do what we do...

#113 Pressure Is A Privilege

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 07:00:00 -0600

“Pressure is a privilege.” ~ Billie Jean King

Life is an athletic event, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

To feel, hear, listen, respond, and grow through that pressure is our greatest privilege.

#112 Porcelain Lives: The Sadness (Pt 2)

Sat, 16 Aug 2025 08:00:00 -0600

Porcelain Lives lives is a book I began writing in 2015 as I was helping care for my father as he passed from Alzheimer’s. I didn’t realize I was writing a book at the time, I was merely capturing what was happening in my fathers passing, until a few years later I realized I wanted to turn it into a book. I have written most but I’ve been waiting for my mom to finish her journey with Alzheimer’s. Today I share one of those stories.

#111 Porcelain Lives: The Sadness (Pt 1)

Sat, 16 Aug 2025 08:00:00 -0600

#110 A Beautiful Day ~ AmWhole. HereBe.

Sat, 02 Aug 2025 09:00:00 -0600

Am Whole. Here Be. I found this tattooed into my pillowcase. So I began Cultivating a new relationship with Time & Space. Just finished reading “Kindred”, book by Octavia Butler, which revamps my ancestors from dead ghosts to alive and living. “Kindred” also shows me how easy it is to be human, to fall into the same patterns we always fall into as humans. READ the book. For every reason imaginable. Link to Wikipedia info on Kindred here.

#109 Hate - SeeLookKnow.ThenDecide. (Pt 3)

Fri, 01 Aug 2025 16:00:00 -0600

In my most recent EMDR session, I met hate again. Only this time Hate was grounded in the moment, Alice within the experience, felt by my body, acknowledged by my mind, and given room to breathe, to be, and …. Well, I’m still figuring out what. But for now, I feel relief after learning that so much of my hate was tied to the rape, yet unknown to me as I was not able to experience it in the moment.

#108 Carl Jung clarifies ego-Death: A Living Symbol of Wholeness

Thu, 24 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0600

Carl Jung speaks to my Soul with teachings concerning ego-Deaths as necessary to become our whole and integrated selves. And of living as embodiment of wisdom, ‘a living symbol of wholeness’. He tell us to, “Stop asking ‘am I too much’ and begin asking ‘am I aligned?’”

Carl Jung - watch video! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Srdoej-Ogeo

Nothing In Excess - Oracles of Delphi - an old episode of mine -

https://youtu.be/1ZH7nf6A5mU

#107 My Interludes with Death as Teacher

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 19:00:00 -0600

These are three separate moments captured over a few days where I was experiencing the fullness of Death's lessons.

#106 Death Befriends Me after EMDR

Wed, 16 Jul 2025 11:00:00 -0600

I discovered an old friend after my latest EMDR session. We've met Death before, but never from a place of vitality and health. In the past Death has taught me much about fear and loss and sorrow and ashes. That isn't the story today. Today, Death teaches me Forgiveness, Renewal, Clear Rushing Waters of Cleansing, and most importantly, IMMEDIACY. The immediacy of every moment. The space around each second. The preciousness of every breath, just like Eli Connor said. Every breath is precious.

#105 Richness greater than Perfection

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0600

I share the richness of each moment, gained through awareness, presence, experience, breathing, revealing, becoming, deconstructing, change, source, compassion, patience…in one word, Meditation. It’s more than sitting with eyes closed. It’s everything. It’s the richest of the rich for every breath is precious.

#104 Hate - SeeLookKnow.ThenDecide. (Pt 2)

Thu, 10 Jul 2025 14:00:00 -0600

I continue to swim in a deep mountain lake, exploring Hate, both present and past. These waters have led me to Power, or lack thereof, the loss of personal power. And the reclamation. I’m widening, broadening, encompassing more of life, more of me, by exploring the thing I despised most - Hate. It isn’t what I thought.

#103 My .Toilet.Bowl.Scrubber. Meditation!

Sun, 06 Jul 2025 17:00:00 -0600

What's meditation really like? Like obsessing over a new toilet bowl scrubber, over and over and over... Truly. It's funny, absurd, crazy, humorous, ridiculous, compassionate, REAL REAL REAL. And always a gift I give myself. (and honestly, others!)

#102 Hate - SeeLookKnow.ThenDecide. (Pt 1)

Fri, 04 Jul 2025 14:00:00 -0600

I share my recent experience and learning from the emotional teacher called Hate. It’s teaching me to feel hate, it’s ok, and to return to moments when I felt hate. To see hate. Look at it. Know it. Then decide. Hate is a powerful teacher for me, I appreciate all that I’m learning.

#101 Arc of Meditation, Fore Give, Growth

Sun, 29 Jun 2025 08:00:00 -0600

In the episode I share the many arcs of my meditation practice, along with Forgiveness as a clear waterfall of cleansing energy, and of Growth as a similar effervescent energy. I also speak to the uselessness of beautiful words when/if they don’t convey the energy the speak of.

#100 R Speaks. Need I Say More?

Sun, 22 Jun 2025 10:00:00 -0600

This episode is of a powerful life story spoken by a beautiful woman, who also happens to be one of resilience, honesty, strength, courage, and most importantly, Self-ness: she is her self, and her self is her --- together they are an inspiring force of change, inner and outer. Thanks innumerable to this dear friend, mentor, woman, and Soul. I treasure you always, in All Ways.

#99 A Labyrinth from Hate to Home

Thu, 19 Jun 2025 14:00:00 -0600

If you start exactly where you are, you will get where you need to go. I started in an ‘ugly’ place of hate and trusted the process of being in the immediacy of the moment…that’s how I found myself moving toward the center of a labyrinth, creating a new structure of spacious learning, and seeking the softer dimensions of possibility and potentiality.

#98 Dismantle the Rape and Do No Harm

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 18:00:00 -0600

These are the words I wrote last week and I've been mulling them over since then...until I did a free-form journal session and found a few answers. But it wasn't actually until I was recording this episode that the fullness of these words came to me. That fullness is this: Build a healthy foundation and structure such that you can dismantle the unhealthy rape without imploding upon yourself, nor exploding upon others - do no harm. The greatest kindness we can offer each other is to dismantle the unhealthy within ourselves without harm. There may be hurt...but no harm. Love to you All.

#97 Do One Hard Thing, The Rest Will Follow: Neuroplasticity

Sun, 15 Jun 2025 20:00:00 -0600

I'm learning to do hard things, again. I was much better at it when I was younger, before all my 'failures'. Well, I want to remember that it's ok to do hard things, and to 'fail' - whatever that means. So, I'm setting small goals, like picking up my classical guitar for 15 minutes a day. Just picking it up! And learning the first step in doing something hard is...taking the first step!

#96 Binge = Fear + Uncertainty

Fri, 13 Jun 2025 14:00:00 -0600

I am on day 10 of not eating any sweets and treats, I want to understand why I feel like binging on them at times. What I share is what I’ve learned after 10 days! I’m curious to see what the next 20 will bring.
😊

#95 Truth, as the Body: Lies, as Energy

Fri, 13 Jun 2025 03:00:00 -0600

My 2 AM ramblings about the truth of the energy of the body, how to listen to the body so that they become the story that is your truth, the growing out from the seed of your being. And how lies sever the cohesive communication network within.

#94 I’m Ahead Of You!!!

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0600

I’m ahead of you!!! How many times have I thought this? Or decided that I was somehow ahead of other people in some area? Only to realize that you are ahead of me in other areas. So… who’s ahead of who? Who is better? Who is more? Who is richer? Who is AHEAD???

#93 The Immediacy of the Moment

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 11:00:00 -0600

I share an update on the rape trial and the deeper lesson it is teaching me of feeling the immediacy of each moment...and sometimes even BEING the immediacy of each moment. All My Love to All :)

#92 The Mind as a Physical/Body Healer

Thu, 29 May 2025 19:00:00 -0600

The mind can assist with Physical/Body Healing thru its ability to determine which energies are at play in the physical body. In this episode I share a recent find of 'petrified hate' in my body and how I used this discovery to help my body heal.

#91 The True Power of Authority - Inside & Out

Wed, 28 May 2025 09:00:00 -0600

The true power of authority lies in balancing all the desires of those you serve. Another way to say that is: my desire is the weight of one feather, along with the feather of every other person's desire. My desire is not greater simply because I am in a place of authority. This is true both within ourselves, and without. In this episode I delve into this and more!

#90 Believe in Me ~ Meditative Offering

Thu, 15 May 2025 08:00:00 -0600

From my 'echo chamber' I offer a free-flow of words that brought me to a space of stillness, where "believe in me" appeared as a fully presenced presence.

I Believe in Me.

I Believe Me.

#89 Transformation at Personal & Cosmic Levels

Sun, 11 May 2025 12:00:00 -0600

Transformation is so powerful, and yet, we can only change/alter/transform our tiny energetic self, while the rest of this reality surges forth with histories and stories and narratives which lie beyond our control. It's beautiful, humbling, and deeply mysterious how much and how little we are.

#88 Kindness, from Quantum to Physical

Thu, 08 May 2025 10:00:00 -0600

"Kindness is the potential for all things to be as they are." I said these words yesterday and they were like stars falling from the heavens into an understanding I have been seeking my entire life. What is Kindness? Well, this is as close as I've come to understanding... and it's a relief because I no longer need you to judge me, nor tell me if I'm kind, and I no longer need me to judge me and tell me. i trust this message from the quantum realm of all potential!

#87 "Appreciate Everything" Kristine's Clogs & Advice

Thu, 24 Apr 2025 11:00:00 -0600

In this episode I share my story of a treasured friend who gifted me the best advice ever, plus the most wonderful clogs imaginable. Kristine, you are ever in my heart, always in my soul, and never far from my mind. Love you, eternally.

#86 Fasting as a Quickening of Energy

Sun, 16 Mar 2025 09:00:00 -0600

Fasting is a quickening of energy, even as the body slows. I share my emotional, mental, physical and spiritual experience of fasting, plus the many elements of quickening which occurred during my 3-day fast. I also touch upon the power of the breath during fasting, to get through those moments of great energetic shift. I invite you to add the many elements of fasting - mental, emotional, spiritual, physical - to your next fast, and to experience fasting as an energetic quickening. All Love To You!

#85 Sometimes You Gotta Be A Slingshot

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 08:00:00 -0600

I overheard these words as I walked by, and my mind began to discuss one of the possibilities of their meaning. And that has been on my mind now for a couple of weeks. Namely, sometimes life pulls you backward, so you can relive, remember, renew yourself by traveling back in time and space to see, feel, know experiences with 'updated' eyes. I'm currently being pulled backward, slowly remembering what I haven't wanted to address, and I assume life will release me and I'll slingshot back to where I am, back to right here. But with updated eyes, heart, mind, spirit.

#84 Conversations w/ My Lower Back: Trust & Forgiveness

Sat, 08 Mar 2025 15:00:00 -0700

In this episode I share a multi-day conversation I had with my lower back, as it exhibited great pain. I was desperate NOT to repeat a debilitating series of months-long pain, so I did all I could to remedy the emotional, mental, spiritual pain, in order to ease the physical pain. The core of these conversations with my lower back revolved around Trust & Forgiveness, which if you recall, was one of my 'called toward' goals from a few weeks ago, and is currently on my vision board for 2025. So - here's to using the difficulty to beneficial means.

#83 What's In It For Me?

Sat, 01 Mar 2025 08:00:00 -0700

I share how journaling at a moment when I felt like crying led me to a voice within that wanted to know "what's in it for me?" -- I listened to this voice, honored it's question and respected it's right to be heard. This led me to the beautiful request if made of me: Be with me, entangled in the opposition and connection. Love to you all, always.

#82 My Goals REFINED by Heart & Spirit

Wed, 26 Feb 2025 09:00:00 -0700

A brief foray into goal-setting - in a balanced, open-hearted manner, instead of my old way of judgement and entrapment! I share 7 goals that I set with my mind, and how I transmuted them, using the wisdom of my body, into goals that I feel 'called toward'.

#81 Trust the Person, Not the Action

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 09:00:00 -0700

A brief foray into the sphere of Trust - as I choose to release judgement and trust the person over their actions and decisions. WHY? Because this person has shown me their integrity over many years and I care more about them than I care to judge their actions and be 'right'.

#80 My Nocturnal Negotiations

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 10:00:00 -0700

A night of sleepless struggles as I suffer through great loss and feel great shame for 'how I am' -- and attempt to be with the moment 'as it is, as well as negotiate with the differing parts of myself as they weigh in on my worth versus my failures. These nocturnal negotiations are not for the faint of heart. Perhaps they are for the heart which feels faint, and seeks a hand to hold, an ear of understanding, or a hug which spans all time and space.

#79 Open-Hearted Participation & the PULL of Love

Wed, 12 Feb 2025 09:00:00 -0700

I share my 2025 vision of attempting a life of Open-hearted Participation and it's relation to Surrender. I share how little I understand the complexity of human emotions yet strive for deeper insight in order to grow beyond my habitual patterns. I also dip my foot into the waters of IFS - Internal Family Systems - and share a few characters who live inside me and determine my experience of myself and others, and relating. Just a lot of me trying to figure out me, you, life, love, and the pursuit of just being ok. Here and Now. Oh, and thanks Dad. Love you. Miss you.

#78 Three Q's with Annika Kristiansen

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 19:00:00 -0700

Join our lovely conversation and listen to the heartfelt wisdom and insights of Annika Kristiansen. Annika shares her practice of grace and understanding, of her work in connecting people and communities, and of her beautiful practice of trusting intuition. She also speaks about her magic words: I Accept! And the question she finds fascinating: What is your soul’s purpose? Annika also shares her thoughts on vision boards, manifesting, and the powerful generation of positivity within oneself. Thanks Annika, I loved this podcast, love you, and love ALL you bring to this world.

#77 Judge My Shoes? Or Wear My Shoes.

Sun, 19 Jan 2025 21:00:00 -0700

Today, I chat about the challenges and rewards of judging versus wearing, as it pertains to literal and figurative shoes. Do you really know me? Or what's best for me? And me in return, do I really know you? Could I possibly experience the truth of your You-ness, for one breath?

#76 Leaving the "Trauma-Womb" and asking "Why?"

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 10:00:00 -0700

As I leave the trauma-womb I've been encased in for over a decade, I pause to ask "why?" Why did I need to go through all that, why did I need to take so much time, why did I lose the best years of my life, Why? Why any of it? I use the story, Toe Bone and the Tooth from the book Stealing Benefacio's Roses by Martin Prechtel as a perspective to returning from the depths with so little left to show for the arduous task. And the disappointment...which remains....

#75 Women Who Run with Wolves, Endurance!, Active Surrender

Fri, 27 Dec 2024 20:00:00 -0700

Revisiting the book "Women Who Run with the Wolves", the Handless Maiden tale as a testament to Endurance!, and touching on the truth of real Surrender versus Fake Surrender, oh, and the Trial continues....

#74 Non-Profit: Rape Recovery Center with Laura Andersen

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 12:00:00 -0700

An amazing and in-depth conversation concerning a local non-profit organization which is doing invaluable work. The Rape Recovery Center is celebrating 50 years of service and Laura Andersen, an Outreach Advocate for the organization, speaks with me about the many facets of rape recovery, including the three main populations this organization serves - Survivor, Supporter, and Society-at-large. In this conversation we speak about everything from the word "rape" and it's effect on people, to the decision to go to the hospital after rape, to confidentiality and victim-survivor rights, plus finding advocates and a network to support the healing journey, and how to find a therapist that can actually help with healing and recovering, plus navigating the judicial system, and why the college campus is such a vulnerable space. We speak about the high prevalence of sexual assault & rape in the state of Utah, and even touch upon the need to address the healing of perpetrators.

This topic is near and dear to my heart, and I appreciate Laura's wisdom and passion and dedication!

#73 Three Q's with Paul Benedict

Sat, 16 Nov 2024 07:00:00 -0700

The lovely Paul Benedict shares his depth, wisdom, honest reflections, raw insights, humor, heart and ever-answering of Life's questions in this wonderful episode. Thank you Paul, your answers and insight challenged me in many areas, specifically about Belonging, and how that relates to safety and respect. And also the transformative powers of our inner Darkness, and the titration, or moving forward and back, as we play with our new edges of growing into what is most afraid to grow. Thank you, Paul, please keep sharing you, and may Grace always be your guide.

#72 Three Q's with Curtis Forbush

Sun, 10 Nov 2024 16:00:00 -0700

Join us for a fun and enlightening interview with Curtis Forbush as he shares insights about life. We discuss money, patience, forgiveness, and pets as spiritual friends and guides.

You'll notice we are seated at Dancing Cranes - and behind us are all Curtis' lovely friends who make his Soundbaths so remarkable. Be sure to visit his Facebook page for a listing of all events - try one out, I assure you he has a gift you'll appreciate!

Here is the link for Curtis Forbush events: https://www.facebook.com/soundbathsforthesoul/

#71 Meditation: The Wonder of Life

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 18:00:00 -0600

There is a wonder beyond explanation. And it awaits us. Our attention and our presence. This wonder is not a place, nor a time, nor a thing. It isn’t a feeling, or a thought. And most certainly not a dessert…As wonderful as they are. This wonder is beyond imagining. It is the unique Geometry of every Sound. Which reveals the signature of the cosmos. It is smaller than a dust mote. And grander than a ray of starlight. It is complex. Like the swirls upon the tips of our fingers. And simple. Like the flame Flickering from side to side. This wonder abounds. It cannot be alone. It must have friends. Wonder-full friends which play. together. And create everything. Like an all inclusive vacation. Where everything is… included. Every wonder waiting for us, The sunrise, the seabirds, the sand castles stretching to the heavens. the sunsets, the sailboats, the seashells dancing among the foam. such wonders! There is no explanation for these wonders. To consider them is to push against the boundaries of what we know. To know that we don’t know. We know only what we know. These wonders are beyond our understanding. Beyond our knowing. And yet, we know them. They are in the loss which leaves us empty. And the gain which leaves us full. We greet all their faces with awe. And head-bowed humility. Just as the tide greets the shore. And our breathe greets our heart, We greet every Wonder. For on this all inclusive vacation. Every wonder is for us. To experience. To live. every life awaits. To meet these wonders. And live. beyond explanation.

Mikecolemusic, CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons

#70 Premature Positivity leads to My Temper Tantrum!

Thu, 24 Oct 2024 14:00:00 -0600

After years of positivity and healthy thoughts and behaviors, I find myself in a massive temper tantrum filled with all the SHOULD NOT's!

Soooo.... my positivity was and is a bit premature, and forced, and hiding the truth. But, like a good ole volcano, the TRUTH outed itself - and surprised ME!

#69 My Quest for Boundless Joy, True North

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 11:00:00 -0600

"You won't die until you learn to live with Joy in your heart."

I continue to live by these words, words which were spoken to my heart many years ago. My journey to live with boundless, lasting Joy has been long, challenging, and enlightening. True Joy is boundless, beyond any bound or measure...and everlasting. I have far to go, but go I will. Always.

#68 Energy Is Without Gender

Fri, 04 Oct 2024 09:00:00 -0600

A watery musing which flows from Carl Jung's synchronicity to the iChing, to Will Farrell and Harper Steele's long-time friendship and recent Netflix documentary, to the non-gendered energy of this realm, to the gendered manifestation of the energy of this realm. Or maybe not? Anyway it goes, this is the best I understand Life today. :)

** Music: A Clean Soul by Kevin MacLeod

#67 True North is NOT a Destination

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 08:00:00 -0600

During my morning meditation, it became very clear to me that my True North is not a destination, not a place, a person, a job, an event, an experience, a completion, nor beginning. It is a way-of-being. Always being. Always adapting, always responding, always...being. Just like this beautiful barometer from my ancestors.

#66 Self-Responsible, Hard Reflections, Trust Discomfort

Sun, 15 Sep 2024 18:00:00 -0600

My journey continues as I deepen in self-responsibility, hear the hard reflections of my self-righteousness from my amazing children, and experience self-trust as discomfort.

3 Questions with David Freed

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 08:00:00 -0600

3 Life Questions with the lovely David Freed, who shared his wisdom of compassion, purposefulness, and the unending need to clean-the-house! As we all know!

Joy is Not a Feeling

Fri, 06 Sep 2024 13:00:00 -0600

Joy is NOT a feeling, nor a sensation, nor an experience. It's the constant undercurrent of all Life...just waiting to for...YOU!

Septua Sanguis / The Eight Temptations: Chapter One

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 19:00:00 -0600

The first chapter of my book! Wahooo! It's short, but it took a long time to write, to fit a lot of cryptic riddling information into a few words. That's how this narrator wants to speak, wants to teach you, the reader, and me, the "writer"! I'm just a conduit!

Time. Space. Us as Conduits between.

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 17:00:00 -0600

My current experience of Time and Space as both parents, a womb, and separate fabrics of reality that we connect through our thoughts, speech, actions.

Honor My Experience. Validate My Journey.

Thu, 15 Aug 2024 09:00:00 -0600

I'm realizing that I've skipped important steps in the process of becoming... one of them is truly honoring my experience, honoring it as one with has equal validity to any other(s) experience. Even when my experience is far from the masses mainstream acceptable cultural societal familial 'program'.

Shelly's Candle Musings

Sat, 03 Aug 2024 06:00:00 -0600

How do you balance eternal scales? TThis is the question I heard in me after witnessing live court proceedings at my most recent hearing. I muse about this experience, and this unanswerable question, in this early morning episode revolving around Choice and Free Will. Do they exist?

Shelly Rambles: Reprogramming Me!

Thu, 01 Aug 2024 20:00:00 -0600

I'm sitting on the floor, musing, rambling, processing, sharing, - all beautiful and chaotic and unknown and priceless - talking about my mom, in relation to me, and all manner of other things which arise! Love to you all - always.

3 Questions with Brett Evans

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 17:00:00 -0600

Enjoy the uniqueness of Brett Evans as he shares his perspectives on hope, preferences, patience, and my favorite, "I don't know!" Thanks for a delightful and insightful conversation, Brett. Say hello to Shelly-dog, and your dear wife Stacey.

3 Questions with Stan McGee

Fri, 26 Jul 2024 18:00:00 -0600

Enjoy the charming, southern rooted wisdom of Stan McGee, who is a long-time friend and soulmate on this journey. Stan offers great thoughts on boundaries, presence, and learning that extends into any decade of life! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Stan! Always a pleasure!

Update on the "Trial", then Returning to Oz for Guidance

Fri, 19 Jul 2024 17:00:00 -0600

Update on the trial process, then returning to Oz for insight and direction!

Link For Original Podcast of "The Wizard of Oz as a Sacred Road Map" : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI-TlATo2Ow&pp=ygUvbHVjaWRlc3NlIHRoZSB3aXphcmQgb2Ygb3ogYXMgYSBzYWNyZWQgcm9hZCBtYXA%3D

Septua Sanguis / The 8 Temptations ~ My Book Explained

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 18:00:00 -0600

This is a short intro to a book I wrote in 2020-21 about the Seven Deadly Sins, which were once called the Eight Temptations. In this book, I explore the challenges of each of these Deities by allowing Humans to attempt to 'overcome' their desires/attractions. My explanation here is DRY, the book is far more involved and exciting! Look for a reading of the first chapter by my son.

Shelly, True To Self, Again & Again!

Sun, 14 Jul 2024 12:00:00 -0600

Even when Life doesn't go my way, or I'm not sure if it will, or I'm afraid it most certainly won't, or that 'you' won't like me, love me, value me, or whatever, I am finding the choice to be true to myself very powerful, and full of lessons, over and over and over. Such lessons learned by my choice!

Good Luck on your True To Self journey!

3 Questions with Carrie Ann Richards

Sat, 13 Jul 2024 11:00:00 -0600

3 Questions on Life with the lovely Carrie Ann Richards, who shares her unique experience with Death, and her wisdom in knowing one's own value. Thanks, Carrie. (apologies for the video/audio sync, the wifi was glitchy!)

Nothing In Excess ~ Oracles of Delphi

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 18:00:00 -0600

I explore the second tenet carved into the walls of the Oracles of Delphi temple - Nothing In Excess. Join me as I consider balance, the order of learning, tennis as a wisdom teacher, and more!

3 Questions with Paul DeRosa

Sat, 06 Jul 2024 18:00:00 -0600

Paul DeRosa shares his wisdom, humor and insight with 3 questions that turn into far more! Thanks Paul, for your delightful nature :)

Pablo Sunshine - Short Story, Read by my Son!

Sat, 06 Jul 2024 12:00:00 -0600

A short story I wrote, read by my wonderful son!

3 Questions with Shelly Sawyer Jenson

Fri, 05 Jul 2024 14:00:00 -0600

Here I am answering the 3 questions I will soon be asking others on the podcast! If you'd like to be one of those others, reach out!

The Gardener Of Petrichor ~ Book Reading

Wed, 03 Jul 2024 18:00:00 -0600

Hear me read the story which came to and thru me 4 years ago! I love this story. It's the path I've been asked to walk, breathe, live, die, renew... It's been tough. Both to write and to live. And perhaps, it's given me more changes to live than I realize.

The Gardener Of Petrichor ~ Book Explained

Tue, 02 Jul 2024 14:00:00 -0600

This book has been brewing in me since 2020. Many people may call it a children's book because much of the story is told through the illustrations. I call it an eternal story. Life. Death. Regeneration - Renewal - Rebirth. In this episode, I give you the story behind the story, and in the next episode, I'll read it and share my very rough illustrations.

Raw Reckoning. In Service. With Soul.

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 11:00:00 -0600

The Wise and Intriguing Things I Learned from Calligraphy

Sat, 22 Jun 2024 19:00:00 -0600

Every morning I spent time writing in the old-school style called Calligraphy. What came out of me was unexpected! And I found myself writing for longer and longer periods, just to see what I would write! Here's a bit of that wise, sometimes crazy, and always intriguing stuff.

The Who, What, and Why of Ancestors on my Journey

Thu, 20 Jun 2024 17:00:00 -0600

I didn't sign-up for ancestral healing, nor generational trauma, nor ancestral wisdom - instead, it came looking for me! Or maybe I should say, THEY came looking for me. (whatever THEY are!) This episode is me sharing a bit of my reluctant journey with the THEY who aren't what I thought, and never do what I want! :)

The Embroidery of Us as Matter & Energy

Tue, 11 Jun 2024 08:00:00 -0600

Here we have a silver needle, spools of colorful threads, and a sturdy thimble to guide them thru cloth. All of these are needed to create intricate designs. And I wonder, are they so different from Us? Us: an eternal needle of awareness, spools of colorful thoughts, words, actions, and a thimble strong enough to guide them thru the intricate design of our lives. What can we learn from the ages-old art of embroidery?

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

10 Days of Silence. And Self. Vipassana Meditation.

Mon, 27 May 2024 20:00:00 -0600

This is my latest experience of a 10 day Vipassana meditation retreat - all done in silence. And although I've done many previous ones, this one taught me something very different...all of them do! That's why I continue :)

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

Lucidesse Is...

Thu, 02 May 2024 10:00:00 -0600

Why Lucidesse? Where did the word come from? What does it mean? And. Who is Lucidesse?!

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

A Dream: Parachute, Nightsky, Cosmic Winds, Inner Compass

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0600

This episode is me, telling of a dream I had, a dream in which I awoke to the realization that I need to remain true to my True North, my inner compass, even as I'm pulled along by the Cosmic Winds. Which is a delicate balance of knowing and not knowing, and even unknowing.

:::

Music by Onoychenkomusic on Pixabay.com "sense of time"
Music by Kevin MacLeod

Affirmations: I AM

Sun, 28 Apr 2024 17:00:00 -0600

I am the new frontier of soul. I am steadfast in love. I am the creator of my life. I am living, breathing, dreaming love. I am a stroke by the hand of genius. I am whole, when alone or in company. I am the eternal witness. I am content with the miracle of each day. I am more than I yet realize. I am blossoming into my dreams. I am the birthplace of joy. I am beyond comparison. I am clarity and purpose. I am the compass, the spade, the loom; the sailor, the gardener, the weaver. I am the rain before the promised rainbow. I am the keystone in the bridge of love. I am intrigued by new ideas and concepts. I am stronger than my fears. I am proud of the thoughts I think. I am the richness of all that is. I am enfolded within a community of care. I am learning and growing through my challenges. I am committed to my dreams. I am endowed with the ability to re - create myself. ...etc...

:::

Music by SergePavkin, Reflected Light, Pixabay.com

Affirmations: LOVE

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 09:00:00 -0600

The horizons of my heart are infinite. I am woven by the threads of life, onto the loom of love. I shower others with love that I may know them, for who they are. Love never asks me to be less than I am. Love never asks me to be more than I am. Love requires two wings, one to give, and the other to receive. Love is free, so I let it go. Love is not synonymous with trust. Every story of love contains both laughter and tears. My love lives within of me, and I share my love with the world. Love unfurls the banners within me so that I may speak my truth.

:::

Music by Zakhar Valaha from Pixabay

Affirmations: Sorrow, Grief, Loss

Fri, 12 Apr 2024 17:00:00 -0600

Sorrow is praise for what was, what is, and what will be. My sorrow is as great as my love. I appreciate all the ways I grieve. My pain is a signpost toward deeper truths. I do not rush the hurt and pain, I mature in my own time. I begin again, I begin again, I begin again. I parley with the sea of grief and return what is not mine. I heal myself, with the loving support of others.

Affirmations: My Partner & I, Healthy Relating

Wed, 10 Apr 2024 08:00:00 -0600

My partner and I are fun, playful and passionate. We activate the best in each other in order to live a meaningful life, Together. We love to share our inner worlds with each other, and in so doing, we cultivate the precious skill of ‘attunement through active listening’. We love intimacy in our communication and our love making. We are consistent with our kindness, in thoughts, words and deeds. We are steadfast and responsible. We are financially successful and ethical. My partner and I are flexible, evolving, and we see the world thru beautiful eyes. We care for each other with loving hands in order to nurture healthy connections. We are integrous by understanding the laws of energy, and of ways of spirit.

:::

Music ~
"Wholesome” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Regret After Fear Takes Control

Wed, 10 Apr 2024 02:00:00 -0600

In making a big decision, I didn't see when and how Fear took control,,, until it was too late. I share what happened, and how I hope to reveal my hidden fears before they activate, and thereby control my behaviors and decisions in ways I don't truly desire.

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

Affirmations: I Know My Essence

Sun, 07 Apr 2024 15:00:00 -0600

I Know My Essence. I know the truth of my essence, I know The depth and breadth of my essence. Even though my essence lies far beyond comprehension, I know. I know my essence. I know it is not my thoughts, not my speech, and certainly not my doings. My essence is far more simple than those. In fact, it is beyond any measurement which can be perceived. I am the being-ness of all that is. My essence is being. Being Time and space. Being Here and now. Being Forever and never. Being Is simple. Being is everything. And it is my essence, my truest, deepest nature. My essence is beyond value. My essence is beyond worth. My essence is in all things, and in no things. My essence cannot be compared. Cannot be judged. Cannot even be perceived. I know my essence as light and love, as communion and celebration. I know my essence as light and dark, as good and evil, as right and wrong. As greater than all my imaginings. My essence is enough without needing to be. My essence is worthy without caring to be.

:::

Music is "Vision of Persistence” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Porcelain Lives: The Atonement (memoir)

Thu, 04 Apr 2024 19:00:00 -0600

Porcelain Lives is a memoir I began writing over 6 years ago. It was initially about caring for my father as he passed from Alzheimer's, learning to heal, forgive, love, and be loved, but it's grown into so much more. This is a chapter (not in order) from my unfinished book.

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

Porcelain Lives: The Naming (memoir)

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 20:00:00 -0600

Porcelain Lives is the title of a memoir I began over 6 years ago. It was initially about caring for my father as he passed from Alzheimer's, learning to heal, forgive, love, and be loved, but it's grown into so much more. This is the first chapter of my unfinished book.

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

I Don't Know: Musings about these Powerful Words

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 14:00:00 -0600

I DON'T KNOW. I never knew how powerful these words could be when used during times of change, to show me what I don't know, what I can't see, what I am unaware of. So, this episode is me practicing NOT KNOWING so that I can discover authentic roots to real life issues.

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

When You Got An Egg to Hatch, An Ember to Flame!

Wed, 20 Mar 2024 08:00:00 -0600

How do you care for the energetic egg you're hatching? Or tend to the energetic ember which will flame your dreams to life? I'm not sure...but I share what I've been doing in my life. Energetically. To hatch new eggs and light new flames! Happy Vernal Equinox, happy egg hatching and flame lighting! Ostara Goddess blessings to you!

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

My Live Wires of Fear, Pain, Negativity

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 08:00:00 -0600

Create expansion and beauty in all my relationships, that's what I want to do, BUT... What do I do when I realize I've been walking around with live wires of fear, pain and negativity??? I have no idea! I've begun to see (all too clearly!) how I have these live wires, and how they effect my relationships, with self, other, and Other. It is my hope that "speaking breaks the spell", as I like to say, and I'll find my answer now that I've seen this and spoken!

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

A Book I Read: Practicing, A Musician's Return to Music

Sat, 16 Mar 2024 18:00:00 -0600

It's time for me to return to life. And love. And Joy. It's time for me to return to the fullness and wholeness of living. This book is helping me remember that every day is I get to practice life, practice the life I wish to live, and that even as I practice, it is full dress rehearsal, it is a performance, for there's no editing. Just gotta live.

Practicing: A Musician's Return to Music
by Glenn Kurtz

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

A Poem I Wrote: Hope

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 16:00:00 -0600

I hope you believe. Believe you can do this, whatever THIS is for you. I hope you believe with all your heart that You can do this.

I hope you hear. Hear the echo of your own footsteps as they follow your soul, as they lead you to become greater than you imagine, which is nothing less than all that you are.

I hope you feel. Feel All the feels. The feels which Rumi calls visitors, visitors who come for a time, and then leave.

I hope you learn. Learn that each time you plant a seed, you plant both Success and Failure - in equal merit - because both of them are teachers of growth.

I hope you see. See the beauty of a thousand yellow daisies, and know them to be the fluttering of your own heart, as it laughs with joy.

I hope you listen. Listen to the part of yourself that no one else can hear, because that part of you holds answers, answers patiently waiting to be heard, and held and honored.

I hope you remember. Remember that this is the last, and the first, and the only time you will breathe this one priceless breath.

And I hope you know. Know that a comet streaked the star-studded skies so that it could become you, and it is still you. You are light reflecting its grandeur. You are the stories of its ancient life. For it too watched suns rise, and stars fall. And it too hoped. Hoped that it would be the very best comet. It could be…

:::

Music by Kevin MacLeod
Midsummer Sky

Pick it UP where I left it!

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 11:00:00 -0600

When I set something down and take a break, walk away, learn other things, it's just like it was when I left it! Imagine you're knitting something and you set it down, well, it ain't gonna change! BUT...when I return, I HAVE CHANGED! And that, my dears, changes EVERYTHING. So, don't be disappointed when you do all the work and old things look the same... a little patience, faith, and love, and you'll see the truth!

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

Soul Contracts & Connections: Same or Different?

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 11:00:00 -0600

Soul Contracts. Soul Connections. Are they the same? Or do they each have/serve a separate purpose? This is what I muse and mumble about in this early morning podcast. It matters to me because I wish to focus on my Soul Contracts, while enjoying my Soul Connections. How do I balance the two with the finite time I have here as 'Shelly'?

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

A Story I Wrote: Shade of Red

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 19:00:00 -0700

I was given four things to create this story: a pocket watch, a toothpick, MMA fighting, and Onaga, Kansas. What came out of this random is one of my FAVORITE stories ever. I hope you enjoy!

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

Meditation: Affirmations for Wholeness

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 18:00:00 -0700

"I embrace my journey with trust and joy and love. I say yes to soul. I say yes to me. I am capable of my soul’s calling. My heart is at peace with transitions and change. My heart is at ease with transitions and change. My body and mind are content for all I need is inside me.

"I slip into my skin every morning, with delight and ease. I commune with the world. I can be anything I desire to be simply by knowing its truth, and then becoming it. Everything I need is here, inside of me. I am at home with myself, I am at home within myself.

"I inspire myself and others by doing my best, moment by moment. I am a brave, hopeful seed of Joy. The doorway to Joy lies within me. There is no room for envy in the house of Joy. There is no room for envy in the house of Joy. Grace comes from living each moment, once."

:::

Music: "Elf Meditation" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

A Story I Wrote: Two Sentinels

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 10:00:00 -0700

This is a story which captures our lives as somewhere between a cosmic sky and a hardening rock. It's a 300 word story I wrote in 2021 while living in Beaufort, South Carolina.

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

Meditation: Healthy Eating, Healthy Body

Thu, 07 Mar 2024 17:00:00 -0700

This is a meditation for healthy eating, healthy body, healthy mind, healthy soul!

:::

Music by Kevin MacLeod
Garden Music

From Shame to Healing :)

Thu, 07 Mar 2024 16:00:00 -0700

I have been so trapped in shame that it's taken me almost one year to share this with you - soooo grateful I'm healing the trauma of shame, and sharing me... authentically! I hope you are doing the same! Love to you!

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

Authenticity. Focus. Meditation.

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 09:00:00 -0700

When I'm energetically authentic, I'm aligned with the universe. From there, I focus on my dreams and aspirations, and determine how to take the next AUTHENTIC step. And...meditation helps me do all this! This episode shares a bit of my process. Good Luck! All love.

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

My Rape. Her Rape. Our Story.

Wed, 28 Feb 2024 20:00:00 -0700

This is a story of rape. My rape. The rape of my ancestor. And how both of us went through the trial of not only surviving rape, but also the Trial of Litigation in the United States of America. We did it over 200 years apart.

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

"My Ancestors are NOT hurting me, they are hurting."

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 08:00:00 -0700

What I want to share is a small seed of wisdom I heard from within. Not a whisper. Not a shout. But a clear, steady knowing...each word arriving in rhythm with the whole. Here’s the message. My ancestors are not hurting me, My ancestors are hurting.

This is the seed, the wisdom, the message I was given.
And since it’s arrival about 12 years ago, this tiny seed has grown into moments of miraculous healing, and a steady reciprocity of support between me and my ancestors.

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

"Don't f With My Pain"

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 16:00:00 -0700

In a bizarre way, I fought for my pain. I allowed it to be whatever it needed to be, for however long it needed. I wish I could tell you this left me as a perfected being free of suffering and pain, but it didn’t. I still have what I call ‘normal’ sufferings and pains of life. But what I don’t have is THAT pain, that indescribable, unfathomable Pain. THAT pain has gone. That suffering has eased.

::::::::

Here’s the message in its entirety:

“Don’t *f* with my pain.
I’ve got to go thru it.
No running, blaming, hiding, controlling, pretending…
I’ve got to go thru it.
Feel it. Live it. Be it.
Die to it.
And become more than it.”

:::::::

I would like you to ask yourself if you're willing to fight for your pain?
If you’ll give Pain the time it needs?
If you’ll allow Pain to do what it has come to do?
If you’ll climb the mountains you’re terrified of?
And descend into the chasms you’ve pretended don’t exist?
If you’ll be tenacious and tender, with your pain?
If you’ll be patient and protective of your Pain?
If you’ll Pain to Change you?
To change you into your authentic self.

Not a perfect self.

An authentic self.

This podcast is for those who find themselves with only Suffering and Pain as companions, and nothing else has worked. This is an invitation to guard them with your life, for they are here to give your Life back to you.

Suffering and Pain can give you back your life. They are transformative powers of Change.

Trust me. I've walked with suffering and pain for a very long time.

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay

Meditation: Song For Soul ~ Come Closer

Sat, 15 Apr 2023 13:00:00 -0600

A meditative song for the homecoming & honoring of Soul.

Come closer
Be gentle
I will not move away

Come closer
Be open
I have no locks nor doors

Come closer
Be joyful
I am so fond of you

Come closer
Be valiant
I know of your surrender

Come closer
Be humble
I learn beside your growing

Come closer
Be true
I hear your softest tears

Come closer
Be seen
I long for who you are

Come closer
Be wise
I know your deepest truths

Come closer
Be ancient
I’m unafraid of time

Come closer
Be kind
I know only love

Come closer
Be home
I am always with you

Come closer
Be golden
I see your radiant light

Come closer
Be honored
I am sincere affection

Come closer
Be patient
I weave mysteries within you

Come closer
Be honest
I hear only your truth

Come closer
Be full
I know only your wholeness

Come closer
Be gentle
I am your Soul

Lyrics & Singing by Shelly Sawyer Jenson

Background Music is Ancient Winds by Kevin McLeod
https://filmmusic.io/artists/kevin-macleod

The Wizard Of Oz as a Sacred Roadmap for Learning & Growth

Sat, 05 Nov 2022 22:00:00 -0600

There are good stories, stories intimate with life. They show us how to journey into our depths - retrieve our wholeness - and return. They are magical compasses.
No matter where we are, in space, or in time, they know the way. They help us realize our most sacred journey - that of coming home. Home to ourselves - home to our wholeness, purpose, and meaning.

There are so many of them - stretching around the world. It doesn’t matter which one you choose, as long as it has meaning for you.

The story I’m going to unfold today is the Wizard of Oz. I didn't choose this story…it chose me. It chose me when my dear friend Kristine died of cancer. She and I were very close during the last year of her life, partly due to my own illness at the time.

We spent hours on the phone discussing the nuances of life, death, regret, and hope. I still consider it a miracle that I was able to hold Kristine as she released her last breath, with my daughter at my side. I am honored to have done so.

A few days after Kristine’s passing, I was offered a gift from her family…Kristine’s favorite pair of colorful clogs. I immediately slipped them on my feet - and suddenly felt like Dorothy. I stared down at the clogs and knew in my heart that these shoes were magical - I knew they would lead me, guide me, protect me, walk me home.

I heard them whisper…

There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

This is when I knew The Wizard of Oz was my roadmap. And not only my roadmap, it was my lifeline.

:::::::::

Before I end, I want to read the signposts again. They sum up the journey of life.

Welcome to the unexplainable, the mysterious, and the bizarre. Keep walking.

Guidance & protection are always with you. Keep walking.

Dangling carrots are essential. Chase them down.

A gilded cage is still a cage.

Be kind to everyone. We are all children…walking each other home.

Be aware, and build a healthy mind.

Learn to feel. Learn to crack the armor.

Believe in yourself. Be home.

:::

Thomas Huebl
The Disobedience of the Daughter of the Sun
Women Who Run With The Wolves
Stealing Benefacios Roses
The Hero with a Thousand Faces

:::

Music by:
JuliusH from Pixabay
MT_NeoSoul_93 from Pixabay

A promise is solid & stable, just like oak. Let's see why through the Ancestry of Words

Mon, 03 Oct 2022 21:00:00 -0600

Once upon a time… the word fairy was a close relative of the word faith.

Once upon a time… a fairy was a symbol of faith.

It’s hard to say why, but once upon a time… fairy and faith were linguistic relatives.

How do I know this? Because of eTymology. If you’re not familiar with etymology, it’s the study of words through time - the study of their use, their meanings, and their relationships. One way I like to define etymology is “the study of relationships,” how one word relates to itself, and to other words, across culture, time and space.

As odd as it sounds, etymology helps me get out of my head, and into a lived experience. This is why I created Lucidesse, to explain the world around us, and the universe within us, to clarify ambiguous concepts, to shine light upon neglected areas of darkness.

I created Lucidesse to be… clear, shining, bright. The word Lucidesse comes from two words.

The first is Lucid: clear, shining, bright. The second is esse, E S S E: this is the present particle of “to be”. When you combine these two words you get: to be… clear, shining, bright.

Lucidesse literally means to be… clear, shining, bright.

I use the interdepence of words to ask inquisitive, child-like questions.

What if my promises were oak tables and marble statues? What if my promises were solid and stable? What if they live through time, like grandpa’s brass lamp, or great grandma’s rocking chair? What if… I lived a life of furniture-promises? How would this change me? My relationships?

Music by JuliusH from Pixabay

Meditation: JOYFUL Affirmations For Being Me - Here & Now

Sun, 07 Aug 2022 14:00:00 -0600

We are born with the innate ability to heal the mind. This is called neuroplasticity, and this video helps you employ that innate gift. This lies in thinking them over and over, JOYFULLY! If you think joyful thoughts then a joyful network is created.

The Sacred Three of Neuroplasticity are Attention, Emotion & Repetition.

Attention: attend to every moment and be present. This attention rewires the brain naturally, old habits die away as limiting beliefs realign with personal truth.

Emotion: the mind loves to learn and emotion is a source of nourishment for the brain. That's why you choose an artistic style which brings you joy, serenity, wonder, awe, and meaning.

Repetition: repeat affirmations daily. This isn't memorization, this is memory-enhancement. The brain creates healthy networks when we repeat affirmations in a meaningful way.

Remember, the mind is not a master, it's a network of tiny neurons, and like seeds, if you water those neurons with thoughts, they grow. Ignore them, they die. That's as tricky as the science gets. THINK JOYFUL!

This new science is discovering what we already know: when we think joyful thoughts we feel joyful. What we think is translated directly to the body.

Do my thoughts feel good in my body?

Thoughts of love, worth and belonging are vitalizing! Plus they emanate into our surroundings. We enjoy being around others who are joyful.

Changing the mind is a process which requires daily commitment, and the app supports you in your commitment, to change not only how you think, but how you feel!

Things may go awry, as they do in every life, so be patient with yourself, be present to the process, and breathe. Hard times pass, and soon, you'll create a mind which enjoys life.

My 12-year Journey With Grandmother Ayahuasca Plant Medicine

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 12:00:00 -0600

An ayahuasca journey is a bit like traveling in Oz. There are magical times, there are scary times, there are challenges to overcome, and there are blessings bestowed. But in the end, there’s no place like home… Home within oneself, home as oneself.

My journey with Grandmother Ayahuasca is unlike any other. I suspect this is due to the immense trauma in my life, plus the immense effort I put into healing.

I am the queen of integration and the king of persistence.

I wrote a poem about me a few years back, when things were very tough.I remember a line that went something like:

It's no matter when hooves stampede,
and rock walls thunder to the ground,
for my Soul simply won’t quit.

That poem, that belief, got me through hell and back, more than once. And now that I’m home, I feel like I can share in a healthy way because every day is ceremony, a sacred chance to live, as though my last, because today may be my last.

I want to begin with the most important thing I learned from Grandmother Ayahuasca.

Life is ceremony. Every day is precious. Every moment is sacred. Every breath may be my last.

It’s all very simple. And everyone says it all the time. You see? After twelve years and numerous ceremonies, this is the first and most important thing I want to tell you.

Life is ceremony. This moment, right now, this exact moment, is sacred. And it may be your last, or mine. And that’s what makes life so precious. Because we never know when our ceremony will end. But it will end. Just like every ayahuasca ceremony. No matter how difficult, every ceremony has an ending…just like every day has an ending, a sunset.

Life is ceremony. So let’s begin.

:::::::::

Music thanks:
JuliusH from Pixabay
Kevin MacLeod from incompetech.com

What roots am I growing in my head? (pt. 2)

Mon, 16 May 2022 09:00:00 -0600

Seeds grow.

I know. It’s obvious. Seeds grow. They love to grow.

They love to spring forth. And they also love to go deep.

Seeds love to grow roots.

And roots??

Roots are hidden truths.

Roots never lie.

So that’s where I’ll begin. With my truth. With three roots in my life.

The first is a shallow root.

The second is a mid root.

And the third, is the one I mentioned above.

My ancestral root, my deeper-than-sky root.

I’m going to share a story for each of these roots but it’s important to remember that these roots began as a seed, a seed which grew into a problem.

Before we discuss my roots and problems, let me ask a question I haven’t found a clear answer to.

How do you discover the seed of a problem?

Digging for the seed of a problem is tricky.

When I dig, I don’t always discover the seed I’m seeking.

Sometimes I think I’ve found the seed, and dealt with it, only to realize I didn’t go deep enough, or that the seed I found was for an entirely different problem.

As I said, It’s tricky to find the seed of a problem, but there is one certainty in digging.

Every root leads to a seed. Because…every root began as a seed.

Attention, emotion, repetition.

These are the foundations of neuroplasticity, the mind’s ability to change, but change can be healthy, or unhealthy, depending on our choices.

Releasing old thought patterns and beliefs can be monumental. Especially when those beliefs are old, old gnarled roots with thick trunks. It takes enormous effort and I employ many skills: meditation, breath awareness, positive affirmations, and forgiveness for the moments I stumbled and fell upon the old roots.

It’s far easier and faster for NATURE to change epigenomes, than to change genes.

So NATURE changes the epigenome, in order to alter the expression of a gene. This is the science of epigenetics, and it’s far beyond my expertise. I mention it only to support my personal experience, namely, when I change my environment, I alter the expression of my genes.

My Physical Environment: healthy eating, daily exercise, journaling, solitude, companionship, and plenty of rest.

My Mental Environment: breath awareness, meditation, neuroplasticity, positive affirmations, and plenty of creativity.

My Emotional Environment: curiosity, wonder, awe, beauty, sorrow, love, and plenty of joy.

My Spiritual Environment: prayer, ceremony, song, sacred rituals, dance, and plenty of faith.

Let’s begin again.
Seeds grow.
Roots never lie.
We are linked to our grandparents.
The energetic realm gives rise to the physical realm.
Life is one eternal moment of dying.
Answers are seeds.
DNA is ancient, one helix yoked to another helix.
E=mC2 Energy is yoked to matter.
The UnSeen yoked to the Seen.

I believe my Ancestors, the unseen, are yoked to me, the seen. And that we differ only by the speed of light, squared.

E=mC2

I believe healing in the energetic realm is equal to healing in the physical realm, and vice versa. The two differ only by the speed of light, squared.

The speed of light, squared. That’s very, very fast. Possibly faster than thought. But who knows. It takes time to glean such wisdom. And I’ve already taken plenty of yours.

So…with tireless faith, persistence of mind, and dedication of body, I bid you farewell.

Music thanks:
JuliusH from Pixabay

If thought has energy, Einstein says it has mass. E=mC2.

Thu, 21 Apr 2022 16:00:00 -0600

This episode is for highly curious folks, those who are intrigued and fascinated by mysteries.

One such mystery is the interplay of energy and matter. What do I mean by this, the interplay of energy and matter?

E=mC2

The E in the equation, which is energy. The m in the equation is mass. The C is a constant number, we call this number the speed of light. The speed of light is a huge number, and in this equation, it’s squared. If you square the speed of light, you get a colossal number. The speed of light squared is the number 9 followed by ten zero’s.

When we have a colossal number with ten zeros in our equation, then we have a ton of energy, regardless of how small the mass may be. This is important, because, today, I’m talking about tiny amounts of mass having immense energy.

I’m talking about tiny amounts of mass having immense energy.

So. Let’s talk about energy. Each time we use our brain, it creates and emits energy. This energy can be detected by scientific instruments. E is for the energy created by the brain through thought. C is the constant number we call the speed of light. And m is mass.

Which is unknown. But, given the other two variables in the equation, we can solve for m, for the mass. We can solve Einstein’s equation for m, we can calculate the mass of a thought.

Again. We can solve Einstein’s equation for m and calculate the mass of a thought.

Wow. That's a powerful statement. And even though I’m the one who just said it, I still sometimes think that thoughts don’t matter. I mean, they’re invisible, so maybe they aren’t real? But if Einstein is right, thoughts have mass. They are real.

Einstein proved that if we have energy then we have mass. We know the brain emits energy all the time, with every thought, so that energy must have mass. And mass contains matter. And matter? Well, it matters. It builds the universe.

So, if thoughts have energy, then thoughts have mass. Mass has matter. Matter builds the universe. This line of reasoning leads us to: Thoughts are matter and they build the universe.

Music by JuliusH from Pixabay

What seeds am I sowing in my head? (pt. 1)

Tue, 15 Mar 2022 14:00:00 -0600

Seeds grow. And not just in soil, seeds grow in my mind.

Imagine… everything you see through your eyes is a seed.
What visions are you planting?

Imagine… everything you hear through your ears is a seed.
What beliefs are you planting?

Imagine… everything you speak is a seed.
Do you plant beauty with your words?

Imagine… every thought is a seed.

The field of science which studies this phenomenon is called neuroplasticity. After years of studying this science, alongside my practice of meditation, I now consider every stimulus a seed. Which means, I am always sowing seeds.

I sow seeds with my eyes, my ears, my lips. I sow seeds with my skin, through touch and vibration. I sow seeds with my mind, through thought. I even sow seeds through emotion.

In fact, emotion is directly registered by, and influences, the deepest layers of my mind. But I can’t control how my subconscious interprets emotional situations.

When I cling fearfully to money, or to love, as though there is never enough, what does my subconscious register?

I can only guess how emotions influence my subconscious, but what I know with certainty is that my mind is composed of tiny, little seeds called neurons.

When I water neurons with emotion, or attention or repetition, they grow, when I ignore neurons, they die. And thankfully so, otherwise every seed would grow.

You are the gardener of your life. And every choice you make sows seeds.

There are a million ways for you to tend roots, fruits & seeds of your mind. You simply need to begin, to tend your one sacred life.

I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.

I do not believe Henley, the author of this quote, wrote these words and then planted seeds at random because I think he remembered what I forget.

Seeds grow. And I am the gardener of my life.

Music by JuliusH from Pixabay

What is a Healthy Relationship with my Therapist/Energy Healer/Etc?

Thu, 24 Feb 2022 21:00:00 -0700

People want to heal themselves, they want to know they can trust themselves, they want to learn how to communicate with themselves, how to discover their wisdom, their truth, their joy, the inner knowing.

They want to be empowered to be their best self, which means the energy healer needs to be a humble support system.

My commitments as an energy healer are simple, three straight arrows:

I heal only myself.
I support and guide clients on THEIR journey.
I empower clients to heal themselves ~ to discover their truths, to live their truths.

What I've learned over many years is that when you are in a space of stillness and harmony, you know what is best for you. Trust yourself.

Music by JuliusH from Pixabay
SergeQuadrado from Pixabay

Meditation: Do Nothing. Not A Single Thing. Just Be...You.

Sun, 06 Feb 2022 23:00:00 -0700

Do nothing. Not a single thing.
There’s nothing to do. Nothing to do. Simply nothing.

Are you aware that you’re doing nothing?
Are you aware even when you’re not doing anything?

Be aware of doing nothing.
Are you breathing?
Even when you’re doing nothing?
Be aware of breathing while doing nothing.

Be aware of this one and only breath. Be aware of the breath. Every breath is it’s one and only, never to be breathed again.

Be aware of the breath. Be aware of the inhale. Be aware of the exhale.

Be aware of the breath at the entrance of the nostrils. Be aware of the breath flowing in, flowing out.

Simply aware. Nothing to do. The breath is the gift we receive as we enter this realm, and the one we return as we pass onward.

The breath is a bridge between our humanness and our more-than-human nature.

Is there enjoyment in awareness? Is there simplicity in breathing? Is there pleasure in breathing?

The essence of creation is the breath. Every word is spoken upon the breath of creation.

Every moment of the day, the breath is here.

~~~~~~~~
Music by Kevin MacLeod

"Know Thyself" through Awareness & Breath

Sun, 06 Feb 2022 23:00:00 -0700

My goal for this episode it isn’t to calm the mind, or perfect the soul, or heal wounds. It's not eve to make us better people.

It's to KNOW THYSELF…as you are, to see yourself clearly, with lucidity.

That’s where the name Lucidesse comes from: Lucid.

We see ourselves clearly, bright and shining like diamonds.

Today’s episode is a brief exploration of breath and awareness. These two innate gifts are often overlooked, or misunderstood, so I'd like to explore breath, then explore awareness, and then explore their combined wisdom -- what I call Divine Refraction.

For me, the breath is beyond words. I’ve spent thousands of hours focused on my breath and come to know and love my breath as deeply and passionately as any lover.

I literally love my breath. And not as an entity, I love each and every, singular, breath. Every breath is it’s one and only, never to be breathed again.

Some breaths are easy, others are hard. Some breaths are thin and weak, others are strong and powerful.

I love them all.

Each one teaches me about myself, about my reactions to life, about my deepest truths, and also how to live toward the dreams in my heart.

My breath is my greatest teacher, and it’s also my most simple teacher. All it asks of me is to be aware of it, be aware of the breath.

~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to music:
Lesfm from Pixabay

Healing Into My Future: Pt. 2 Keep Swimming

Sun, 23 Jan 2022 20:00:00 -0700

Why don’t I simply heal my past?

Because I often overlay my past onto my present, which means there’s no need for me to go anywhere, my past is right here. And that’s where I’d like to begin, right here. In the present moment.

What do you do when you get sucked into a whirlpool of old stories, and overused emotions, a whirlpool where life no longer flows, it only spins, around and around and around?

What do you do when drown in your habitual responses?

Healing into my future directs us away from habitual response by employing the wisdom of one very simple question, a question with infinite possibility.

Who do I wish to be?

The answers to this question brings us out of the unconscious, whirling past, and holds us safe, in a space where we can cultivate something new, simply by thinking one healthy thought. This is the science of neuroplasticity.

“Healing into my future” gives us a chance to care for ourselves

When I care for myself, I have no need to compare myself.

The process of “healing into my future” isn’t a mono-truth, it’s a smorgasbord of questions and answers -- and you decide -- in each precious moment.

Am I ready to look away from my past, and heal into my future?

Music by JuliusH from Pixabay

Healing Into My Future: Pt 1. Build A Foundation

Sun, 02 Jan 2022 19:00:00 -0700

Am I ready to look away from my past, and heal into my future?

When you direct yourself into your past, that’s where you’re going. This isn’t wrong, there are times when we need to do this, but if you’ve been doing this for years, and you haven’t discovered inner peace, or wholeness, or joy, then something isn’t working.

You aren’t broken.

What this means is that it’s time to stop recycling the past, to stop habitually telling the same story, over and over.

“Healing into my future” means you’re brave enough to believe in yourself, to live the life you dream of, and trust that whatever needs healing is waiting for you, in the right time, in the right place, in the right way.

“Healing into my future” begins with perspective and direction, not movement. Don’t concern yourself with what everyone else is doing.

Choose your attributes, stand on your foundation. It’s that simple. And it's powerful.

Music thanks :
JuliusH from Pixabay

What is a Healthy Goodbye? A Closure Ceremony?

Fri, 24 Dec 2021 09:00:00 -0700

Beginnings are so sweet, which makes it easy to overlook the importance of endings. But remember, life is all about endings. Every moment ends in order for the next to begin. This is also true of relationships, careers, events, commitments, lives, etc.

This podcast helps you restore your joy, wonder, and the lightness of being by practicing the art of Goodbye. I’ve found it’s really good to say goodbye, it’s in the word, after all. Good Bye.

Relax and enjoy as I share a process for healthy closure, ending, release, letting go...so you can grow into a future filled with bright beginnings.

Music thanks:
JuliusH from Pixabay

Who is Shelly?

Wed, 22 Dec 2021 13:00:00 -0700

I find it odd to explain who I am because I’m not certain I know - I mean, which part of me defines who I am? Am I my experiences? Am I my personality? Am I my gender? Being a woman has certainly affected my life.

Perhaps I’m my genetics? Genes a solid bet. Yet, even here, in an arena we’ve long believed was set-in-stone, we’re finding that our genes are not stone.

This conundrum reminds me of a quote by Robyn Davidson. ”Real travel would be to see the world, for even an instant, with another’s eyes.”

I’d love for you to see the world with my eyes, and I’d love to see the world with yours. This is the level of connection I seek in my life - but it isn’t easy, at least for me, because I must open myself…. open to you, open to seeing with your eyes.

What I’m about to share isn’t fact, but neither is it fiction, it’s a suspension of those.

What I share today is simply my personal truths.

My birth in Hawaii, growing up on a farm in Wanship, living in a household which wasn't safe, and dragging my childhood into adulthood. Until I found a large, red book, which helped me heal.

Music thanks:
JuliusH from Pixabay