Speak-Easy: A Conversation Archive

Episode 3: Mr. Magorium's SHARK Emporium

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 08:00:00 -0500

Nick and Carson are back and ready to discuss all your pressing summer subjects, including but not limited to: the queer subtext of made-for-tv Polly Pocket movies (happy pride), what to call the next Planet of the Apes installment, and how to renovate their hometown mall in order to craft the perfect shopping experience!
Recommended to eat chicken nuggets while listening.

Includes mature language.

Episode 2: The Temple of the Twelve Dancing Princesses

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 09:00:00 -0500

FROM DEEP WITHIN THE ARCHIVE: a conversation recorded last summer about Carson and Nick's feelings on various installments of the Indiana Jones franchise. What do Barbie in the Twelve Dancing Princesses and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade have in common? A lot, as it turns out.
Nick does impressions! Carson starts a Karen Allen fanclub! And is it just me, or is Indiana Jones x Dostoevsky the hot new ship around town?

Includes mature language.

Episode 1: Dracula Castle Make You Horny Trans Your Gender

Tue, 11 Jul 2023 08:00:00 -0500

Please read the following episode description with a bad Transylvanian accent:
Vwelcome back to Speak-Easy! *spooky organ music* Today Carson and Nick will create a labyrinth of conversation topics so enthralling you'll get lost down there forever. Nick destroys the NRA! Carson apologizes for misrepresenting Sonic lore. If you're planning to rob a grave, remember to check Google first. Goodnight motorcade, goodnight graveyard, and goodnight Larry the Night Guard.

Includes mature language.

THE MUMMY: A Few Critical Things to Know

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0500

Welcome to the Spook-Easy season! For Halloween this year Nick, Carson, and a special guest take you through everything you need to know about cinematic masterpiece The Mummy (1999) and all of the talking points that entails, including Brendan Fraser, the Universal theme park ride, and Benny (who is a coward).
Famous last words: "We're not just going to describe everything that happens in this movie."

Includes mature language.

Episode 5: Hard Dancing

Fri, 29 Jul 2022 12:00:00 -0500

This episode's topic is performance art, but in-between pitching action movie heists it also touches on 80s dance movies, Gilmore Girls, and Nick's constant need to propose hypothetical crimes.

Includes mature language.

Episode 4: Dr. Robotnik's Haunted Farm

Fri, 15 Jul 2022 11:00:00 -0500

This episode about amusement parks will take you through a few turns—much like a rollercoaster. Listen as Carson’s desperate attempt to make sense of Sonic the Hedgehog lore unravels, probably due to the fact that she’s never consumed any Sonic media. Meanwhile, Nick recounts his unexpectedly nightmarish Dollywood experience, and his unexpectedly NOT nightmarish haunted farm trip.

Includes mature language.

Episode 3: Miss Aquatic America

Fri, 01 Jul 2022 13:00:00 -0500

In this episode we force Nick to confront his inner demons, explore deep space and the lost video diaries of Captain Picard, and unravel the mermaid murder mystery that inspired an unreleased Lana Del Rey song.

If you have a mystery that needs solving, call up Blue Pearl and Rose Gore: the Bait and Tackle!

Includes mature language.

Episode 2: The Merry Wives of Wenlock

Fri, 10 Jun 2022 12:00:00 -0500

ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE LIKE BARBIE MOVIES?
Nick and Carson finally bite the bullet and make an entire episode about watching a movie. Close your eyes and imagine you’re in a theater as we audibly describe the events of cinematic masterpiece Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus, after these few short previews of Carson’s family’s Barbie lore.

Includes mature language.

Episode 1: Re-conversations

Fri, 27 May 2022 12:00:00 -0500

Welcome back! To a new season of Carson and Nick's conversations, cultivated just for you. For this first episode, we're taking a look back into the archives so far. Because, as anyone will tell you, the best comedy comes from revisiting previous content on the Internet.
Carson immediately confuses Virginia Woolf with Sylvia Plath, but she thinks you should overlook it because her point still stands.
Includes mature language.

MARCH: The Girl With the Brown Ponytail

Thu, 31 Mar 2022 12:00:00 -0500

She's so plain and unassuming we can't even remember her name.
Nick's crusade to bring this podcast to a TikTok-era audience continues with an appeal to the wild, wonderful nest of internet-creativity known as. . .Wattpad!

Includes mature language.

FEBRUARY: Gaslight, Gatekeep...G-G-Ghost!

Sun, 20 Feb 2022 12:00:00 -0600

Today we'll be discussing the most gaslighting girlboss you've never had the pleasure of hearing about. Will Catherine the Great be able to successfully gatekeep her dead husband's identity?

Behind the scenes trivia you get for reading the description: Nick has suggested a new tagline for this podcast: "Play this for us when we have dementia".

Includes mature language.

JANUARY: The Secret History of Dr. Coke

Fri, 28 Jan 2022 12:00:00 -0600

Start off the new year strong with Carson at the end of her rope, ranting about Nick’s need to cause problems. Don’t worry—Nick didn’t bother to listen. This episode is truly a pinball machine of topics and commentary. It probably could’ve been shorter, but we just couldn't stop dragging Bill Gates.
Includes mature language.

DECEMBER: Christmysteries Unraveled

Wed, 22 Dec 2021 17:00:00 -0600

Join us on this Hallmark-style Christmas-themed episode that dares to ask such probing Yuletide questions as, is Santa in the public domain? When will David Lynch finally reveal his take on Santa’s workshop? And, what’s the deal with the fairy MILF in Stardust?
As a special holiday gift to our audiences, this episode also includes an exclusive reading of Carson’s previously unpublished and unperformed third grade creative writing project.

Includes mature language.

OCTOBER, Pt. 2: Wolfed Down By A Bear

Sun, 31 Oct 2021 14:00:00 -0500

CONTENT WARNING: One of the ghost stories discussed in this episode, “The Haunted Heathman” briefly discusses suicide.
“The Haunted Heathman” segment: 22:21-27:58
Mention of suicide: 23:58-24:58
Nick and Carson come up with a new spooky ghost story—set right in their hometown! We return to the joyous days of lighthouse ghosts and briefly touch on quantum physics to wrap it all up. See you next month!

Includes mature language.

OCTOBER: Buried By A Wolf

Sun, 31 Oct 2021 11:00:00 -0500

Who's that behind you?

This autumnal episode of Speak-Easy is a celebration of Halloween, birthdays, and the art form that is gift shop ghost guidebooks. For your special spooky treat, we're taking it back to our podcast roots with a discussion of all things supernatural and scary. But beware! The end of this episode contains a trick as well.

Includes mature language.

SEPTEMBER: Coming Soon to Own on DVD and Video

Sat, 25 Sep 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Why not bring back the conventions of early 2010s family adventure movies? In this special, school year episode of Speak-Easy, Nick and Carson read a script and then write a script of their own.
Also, Carson mixes up the actresses Carla Gugino and Cara Buono. Please don't hold it against her. She is very embarrassed already.

Includes mature language.

Episode 7: The Closing Ceremonies

Sat, 14 Aug 2021 12:00:00 -0500

In this season finale of Speak-Easy, Carson and Nick discuss the Olympics. But not those Olympics. Their riveting radio play continues, and they debate the lifelong question: if centaurs competed in the Olympics, would they compete alongside humans or horses?
Thank you for listening, and we'll see you in a month!
Includes mature language.

Episode 6: 50 Shades of Morally Gray

Sat, 31 Jul 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Oh God, who let Carson out of her cage and gave her permission to rant about books for an hour?! She was sealed for our protection! What foolish man would allow this to happen? It was Nick, of course, because that’s what true friendship looks like.
This episode is best taken in if you imagine Carson pacing at the front of a lecture hall, snapping chalk in half while Nick sits in the back row and enables her by shouting out names such as Kylo Ren, Beauty and the Beast, and Bringing Up Baby. Plus, hear Nick cast judgment on a Monopoly game.
Includes mature language.

Episode 5: The Real Liberty's Kids

Sat, 17 Jul 2021 12:00:00 -0500

This week we have a special guest. Who’s that behind you? It’s Bella! She’s joining us on an audio recounting of possibly insensitive elementary school field trips and other youthful shenanigans. Also, Carson and Bella simp for Nick’s cousins.
Discussion of a car accident: 14:30-18:40
Includes mature language.

Episode 4: I Hope I Was Your Favorite Crime

Sat, 03 Jul 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Nick’s existential spiral leads us to the timeless topic of…the perfect crime! Join us for a perfectly hypothetical conversation surrounding potential profitable (and criminal) undertakings. In other news, Nick and Carson continue to butcher analysis of classic literature.
SPOILERS FOR KNIVES OUT: 15:18-16:26
Includes mature language.

Episode 3: Hot Singles in Your Area Looking to Carbon Date You

Sat, 19 Jun 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Today, we talk about larger-than-typical animals. Whales and rattlesnakes and sharks, oh my! Come listen as Carson and Nick find their way from the topic of 'bowling' to a Socratic seminar for a book neither of them have read and then present their ideas for a new and improved Olympic games.

Includes mature language.

Episode 2: Box Doll and Friends

Sat, 05 Jun 2021 14:00:00 -0500

What do Nick’s family vacation, Greek tragedies, and collective animal nouns all have in common? Well, they’re all picked apart in this episode as we try to unravel the thought process behind cryptid art. Plus, find out what Nick would do if he was given only a single day in an Ikea!
Featuring special (and surprise) guest Madden Terry.
Includes mature language.

Episode 1: Ghost Lore Galore

Thu, 13 May 2021 21:00:00 -0500

Welcome to Episode 1 of our podcast, where Nick and Carson record themselves talking for an hour. This episode's topic was meant to be potential podcast names, but we got off-track pretty quickly.

Includes mature language