Pessimistic at Best

Peak Luxury is Going Out for Breakfast

Tue, 08 Sep 2026 02:00:00 -0500

Name something more luxurious than dining out for breakfast, we’ll wait! A dinner reservation is (of course) classic but ultimately unoriginal, lunch is mostly giving fast-casual corporate escape—but breakfast? Aris and I wholeheartedly agree that breakfast is where it’s at.

Then it’s time for the good, the bad, and the ugly: having access to a bathtub, people who don’t share the sidewalk, and the general concept of chewing gum.

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Life is Mostly About Landing Tricks

Tue, 01 Sep 2026 02:00:00 -0500

Do you do all of your own stunts? For some (James), life is mostly about hitting sequences and mastering combos; for others (me), putting down moves plays a less significant role. On this week's episode, James and I dissect the importance of landing tricks.

Then we get into the good, the bad, and the ugly: yo-yoing as a new favorite pastime (re: tricks!), the horrors of a failed sneeze, and the pick-mes riding around on their double-decker bikes.

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State Sanctioned Diabetes

Mon, 24 Aug 2026 15:00:00 -0500

Sometimes your cat will be diagnosed with diabetes because he was addicted to getting UTIs so the emergency vet had to inject him with steroids that cause the pancreas to act up which will ultimately cost you ten thousand dollars!!! This episode is basically a PSA to get the pet insurance btw!!!

Then we dive into The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: stone fruit season, taking the decorations down after the party, and people who are judgmental about doing AC on and windows open at the same time (live a little!)

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Finding Our Zen or Whatever

Tue, 12 May 2026 02:00:00 -0500

The secret to finding your zen? Perhaps it's going off the grid to fish on some remote lake in the middle of Canada, cracking a cold one and watching the storms roll through, or picking off your moles one by one — who am I to judge? Drue and I take to the podcast to workshop the concept of relaxation, results pending.

Then it's time for The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: thunderstorm season, the quiet death of the multi-instrument music store, and why milk is the one drink that turns people into bullies.

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We're Off the Stuff

Tue, 05 May 2026 02:00:00 -0500

You know what's chic? Cutting back, scaling down, doing sort of a less is more moment. In reference to what exactly? Well, anything that's no longer serving you, of course! On this week's episode, Jeremy and I dive into what we're saying no to, including carbonated beverages, aluminum-free deodorant, and then some.

Then it's time for The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: When the function involves karaoke, the overabundance of Santal 33, and men who forget how good they've got it.

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We've Been to the Year 3000

Tue, 28 Apr 2026 02:00:00 -0500

POV: It's 2006, the Jonas Brothers have just released their debut album, It's About Time, and you briefly leave your body. Caroline and I get into her music origin story, her earliest fandoms, and how that eventually led to building the Chicago Show Calendar.

Then we get into the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Ditching Spotify and starting fresh on Qobuz, the way people undervalue small businesses, and music industry PR literacy ft. the Geese psyop discourse.

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It's Really Hard to Be Alive

Tue, 21 Apr 2026 02:00:00 -0500

Have you ever had to do a few laps around Agora Market before working up the courage to ask the guy behind the deli counter for a pound of pork chorizo? Because for some of us, that's just a Thursday! Martina and I spend this week's episode mostly agreeing that it's actually really hard to be alive!!!

Then we dive into the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: writing your affirmations by hand, working through an eBay addiction, and when the deodorant smell is too obvious.

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Can I Interest You in a Glass of Milk?

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 02:00:00 -0500

Milk with dinner is a Midwestern birthright, and the internet has a lot of feelings about it. Whether you've kept the faith, developed a tragic intolerance, or just quietly renounced your heritage, Sophia and I weigh in on this week's episode.

Then it's time for The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: the year of the Fire Horse, wedding gift culture, and people (read: losers) who don't dress up for themed parties.

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U-Haul

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 02:00:00 -0500

Listen, we're going to let you in on a little secret — if you ever find yourself stuck somewhere and there are no rental cars available, you're going to get your ass over to the nearest U-Haul and take it from there, okay? Donnie and I hop on the podcast to swap survivor skills and Survivor 50 hot takes.

Then we dive into the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Embracing your 30s with open arms, airline horror stories, and toxic masculinity running rampant in the gay community, because seriously, baby, what's all that about?

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A New Bombshell Has Entered the Villa

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0500

POV: I interrupt your sunbathing to ask if I can pull you for a chat, but I'm a sexy banana named Benanito, wyd? Greg and I take to the podcast to dissect the AI-generated, fruit-themed Love Island mini-series that has taken TikTok by storm.

Then we dive into The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: recycling old trends, DJ remixes at bars, and the delivery robots terrorizing the streets of Chicago.

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To Be Cringe Is to Be Free

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0500

Unfortunately whoever said, "If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly" was onto something. Post your first attempt at a french mani to main, publish the scripted podcast episode you recorded out of your studio apartment, to be cringe is to be free! Alex and I jump on the podcast to talk about Doing the Thing™️, whatever that thing may be.

Then it's time for The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: embracing creative collaborations, when people give you unsolicited product recommendations, and the idea that you have to do everything by yourself.

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Mint and Chocolate

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0500

When it comes to sweets, what's your preferred flavor profile? There is a right and wrong answer, btw! If you gravitate toward fruity desserts, you're officially in the doghouse. I don't make the rules! If, like me, you yearn for rich, chocolatey confections, congratulations, you've been marked safe! James and I take to the podcast to dissect his disturbing take on all things sweet.

Then it's time for The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: ranking cilantro as the best herb, dragging the plastic cutting board, and dismantling the self-help industry.

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Reality TV Pilled

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0500

Who needs fictionalized drama when you have the service industry? There's no group more ripe with scandal than the front-of-house staff at your favorite local haunt. Sophia and I take to the podcast to celebrate reality TV's greatest hits, including the likes of Vanderpump Rules and Southern Hospitality.

Then it's time for The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: stealing from big box grocery stores, letting your intrusive thoughts get the best of you, and people who refuse to give in to the magic.

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The Best Places to Cry on Campus

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0600

College was a fever dream, a bunch of kids living in a pretend world, cosplaying as adults with meal plans, and it was awesome!!! Mickey and I jump on the podcast to chat about our freshman year floor (s/o Sellery 7A), navigating co-ed living and communal bathrooms, and the best places to cry on campus.

Then it’s time for The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: getting your alderman involved, construction companies that have the audacity to wake you up on Sundays, and rehashing the Glen Powell drama from our last episode (with Lenny Kravitz also catching a few strays)

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A Pink Lamborghini

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 02:00:00 -0600

Are you ready to level up your dating game? Looking to impress some lucky lady? The Rizzler says the key to winning her heart is actually quite simple, head to your local mall and buy her a pink Lamborghini, duh!!!

Conor and I take to the podcast to celebrate his 30th with a little help from the Rizzler himself, file a formal complaint about the Mariano's on Chicago Avenue for its complete disregard for the customer experience, and surrender to the Tell Me Lies drama.

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Stuff vs. Things

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 02:00:00 -0600

What constitutes stuff vs. things? Easy, boys like stuff, girls like things, and a dream is a wish the heart makes, next question!

Meghan and I take to the podcast to settle the stuff vs. things debate, defend the typo, survive a smelly Uber, and drag the completely vibeless CVS on Chicago Ave. Join in, you know you wanna!

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Celebrity Thinkpiece

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 02:00:00 -0600

Your favorite celebrity is planning their next thinkpiece on Substack, whether you like it or not! Superstars, they're just like us.

James and I jump on the podcast to praise the tactile joy of writing with pen and paper, mock the tired cliché of movies that begin at the sound of an alarm clock, and dive into James' deep hatred for pranks.

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Is This Thing On?

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 02:00:00 -0600

Where do I begin? It’s been exactly eight months since I’ve blasted your eardrums with my microphone, and so many things have changed in such a short period of time. Some good, and some catastrophically bad, but of course, I don’t need to tell you that, just look outside!!!

On the personal front: I quit my job, canceled my Hulu subscription, transferred my Spotify music library over to Tidal, started a business (insane), went to the cottage, and bought 3 new swimsuits. Watch out, world—here she comes!

James and I take to our respective microphones this week to obsess over the new New York Times game, Crossplay, short-circuit over needlessly complicated passkeys (Google, seriously baby, what do you want from me!), and LOL at some of 2016's most regrettable trends.

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Bring Back Crossover Episodes

Tue, 27 May 2025 02:00:00 -0500

Picture this: the year is 2006, and Disney's three-episode crossover series 'That's So Suite Life of Hannah Montana' is releasing its first episode at 8/7 central, and you're SAT, ready to witness a piece of history.

James and I take to the podcast to nerd out over iconic crossover episodes, spiral over the sensation of an itch, and pick apart some truly cursed celebrity endorsements.

P.S. This marks the end of season 9, we’ll return in August! Until then, join us on Substack for monthly bonus episodes to tide you over. ;)

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We’re All Afraid Our Kids Will Be Losers

Tue, 20 May 2025 02:00:00 -0500

We're all secretly afraid that our kids will be losers, and listen, I'm here to tell you that if that happened to me? I wouldn't talk to him either!

James and I jump on the podcast to toast to bar games (think pool, darts, shuffleboard, yktv!!!), lament the fact that our thousand-dollar pocket computers require protective gear just to survive, and side-eye parents who let their kids wear AirPods during family time.

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The Breakfast Industrial Complex

Tue, 13 May 2025 02:00:00 -0500

Why did breakfast box itself into such narrow thinking? The day's most important meal could be so much more than eggs, if only we let it become fully realized!!!

Sadie and I jump on the podcast to chat about nicknames we love, bike lanes we loathe, and our deep dissatisfaction with the oppressive egg agenda.

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Novelty Snacks

Tue, 06 May 2025 02:00:00 -0500

If there's a viral snack collab unfolding, Lilly is on the scene! Mountain Dew x Flamin’ Hot Cheetos? Sign her up. Swedish Fish Oreos? She's buying 'em, and nobody can stop her, damn it!

Lilly and I take to the podcast to indulge in absurd snack innovations, spiral about accumulating too much “stuff,” and express our utter disgust at some of the world’s most nauseating smells.

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A Biggie for Your Troubles

Tue, 29 Apr 2025 02:00:00 -0500

Who eats sardines straight from the tin, carries a wad of rubberband-bound singles, and is in “talks” with the Italian government? Depends on who's asking.

Adam and I take to the podcast to toast to tinned fish, raise a stink about early morning construction, and pour one out for the many folks who were recently denied Italian citizenship thanks to the consulate's ever-changing rules. Join in, we just might make you an offer you can't refuse.

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Sexy Unique Restaurant

Tue, 22 Apr 2025 02:00:00 -0500

It’s important to remember that the SUR experience has little to do with the food. Its true specialties lie in campy ambiance, overpriced cocktails, and the chance to share a room with some of reality TV’s messiest players—pure bliss!

Matt and I jump on the podcast to honor our favorite divorce albums, condemn car culture’s grip on society, and reflect on the tragedy of the Titanic on the 113th anniversary of its sinking.

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The Waterpark Capital of the World

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 02:00:00 -0500

Picture this: You're freshly thirteen, you've got your brand new Ocean Pacific swimsuit on, and you're patiently making your way up the wooden staircase with your tube in hand. What's waiting for you at the top, you ask? None other than the Wilderness' most infamous waterslide, the Hurricane. Talk about full-body chills!

Colton and I jump on the podcast to celebrate the versatility of frozen peas, mourn the loss of single-use websites, and argue over our differing views on themed parties. Join in, you know you wanna ;)

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Wrestling Is the Straight Man’s Drag

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 02:00:00 -0500

Name something more c*nty than a giant chiseled man with a spray tan and platinum blonde blowout strutting to the ring in a bedazzled outfit to the tune of "Real American"—you can't!

Rohan and I take to the podcast to celebrate grown men finding an outlet for self-expression, reject the creation of breast milk-flavored ice cream, and criticize the wealthy elite hoarding their fortunes.

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Just Scan the QR Code on the Table

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 02:00:00 -0500

If I have to use my own cellphone to pull up the menu at the restaurant, I'm clocking in because I work here now. I said what I said!

James and I return to the podcast to celebrate Flow's Academy Award for Best Animated Feature (s/o to Latvia, a real place that exists!), dismantle the Digital Menu Industrial Complex™️, and point fingers at people who don't make enough room for you on the sidewalk.

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Feeling Insecure About My Water Bottle

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 02:00:00 -0500

I recently found myself feeling insecure about my Hydro during a Zoom call full of Stanleys and decided enough is enough! Screw your trendy water bottle! Unless you're still chewing on your Camelbak straw, like seriously, it's time to move on.

James and I hit the podcast to celebrate mixing metals, call out water bottle fads, and critique public feuds. Join in, you know you wanna!

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Leaving It All on the Field

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 02:00:00 -0500

Picture this: The year is 2025 and you're making the active choice to jump back on the reading train after it dawns on you that you've forgotten how to do anything besides watch TV. Sound familiar? If so, you're safe here!

Grace and I take to the podcast to celebrate Chelsea Handler's new book, I'll Have What She's Having, recoil at the thought of receiving an out-of-pocket text (examples included), and pay homage to all of the grown men who have ugly cried to the national anthem ahead of the Big Game™️.

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Seafood Boil Mukbang

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 02:00:00 -0600

Have you ever been out to eat when your waiter suddenly goes missing, only to reappear on stage, mic in hand, bringing down the house? It's like, sure you wanted another martini, but ultimately you're happy they're having their moment!

Owen and I take to the podcast to celebrate servers with secret talents, protest loud speakers in public places, and cringe at the mukbang of it all (no offense!)

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Gleek Hive Rise Up

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 04:00:00 -0600

Were you normal, or were you spending your iTunes gift cards on Glee covers? Don't worry, you're amongst friends!

Donnie and I take to the podcast to celebrate authenticity, stress over our favorite strategy-based reality TV game shows, and complain about men, naturally! Btw, did we ever figure out if Lea Michelle could read? Lmk, seriously.

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Breakfast Is Thrust Upon You

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 02:00:00 -0600

Brunch is something you plan in advance. It's an event you prepare for. Heck, you might even put on a cute outfit! Breakfast, on the other hand, is thrust upon you (whether you like it or not!)

Luke and I take to the podcast to rejoice in the pleasure of breakfast with your friends, complain about the reality of women's healthcare, and clap back at people who pick on picky eaters.

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Death of the Mainstream

Tue, 11 Feb 2025 02:00:00 -0600

Everyone can be someone and anything can be cool — and isn't that beautiful? Sure, there will always be pop stars with seismic fanbases like Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, but the "mainstream" is over, you heard it here first!

James and I take to the podcast to dive into the death of the mainstream, protest our apparent collective dedication to ignoring the human desire to hibernate, and shame TV and movie franchises that refuse to let a good thing go.

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When Your Pants Get a Little Loose at the Knees

Tue, 04 Feb 2025 02:00:00 -0600

We're back, babies! And ever so grateful to be back in your ears each week. We missed you terribly — what a long two months it has truly been. Much to catch up on, so let's take it from the top!

James and I take to the podcast to share our favorite onomatopoeias, lament over the humiliation of running to catch the bus, and complain about pants when they inevitably get a little loose at the knees after a long day of wear.

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You Seem Tired

Tue, 26 Nov 2024 02:00:00 -0600

Friendly reminder that the absolute worst thing you can do is tell someone they seem tired, it never goes over well. Instead, you could try, "You look like shit," or "What the hell is your problem." This week James and I take to the podcast to encourage more themed parties, commiserate about just how much it sucks to throw up, and to render our final verdict on the fake Christmas tree of it all.

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Becoming a Better Person

Tue, 19 Nov 2024 02:00:00 -0600

Great news team, becoming a better person is actually incredibly easy! Follow our 5-step process and you'll surely go straight to heaven or be reincarnated as something really cool or whatever. In this week's episode, James and I take to the podcast to celebrate the versatility of the fist bump, condemn the act of killing bugs outside, and drag the folks who film strangers in public without their consent — seriously, don't do that!

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What’s up with Delaware?

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 02:00:00 -0600

Have you ever been to the state of Delaware? Because me neither, and I have no designs on visiting! Devonte and I take to the podcast to celebrate finding fulfillment in our respective careers and shared community, to burst the bubble that is traveling for work, and to throw shade at the CTA.

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Weaponized Incompetence

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 02:00:00 -0600

Playing dumb is all fun and games until you're on the receiving end of such behavior — we said what we said! Aidan and I take to the podcast to sing the praises of our favorite fast-food chain (Taco Bell, duh!), deliberate over the appropriate way to deplane after a flight, and expose people for weaponizing their incompetence.

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The Quest to Become a Morning Person

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Are you buying into the propaganda that morning people are more productive? Because we’ve sold our souls and signed on the dotted line. Manu and I are just a couple of night owls on the quest to become early risers and get that damn worm if it's the last thing we do! Join us on the podcast for a conversation about embracing new hobbies, getting bad sleep, and the curse of the Hyundai Sonata.

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What Your Cracked iPhone Says About You

Tue, 22 Oct 2024 02:00:00 -0500

If you listen to this episode I'm sorry and if you make it all the way to the end something is literally wrong with you! Truly rubbing my last two brain cells together for this one, enter at your own risk! James and I take to the podcast to relive the golden age of computer games, lament the hassle of cleaning one's makeup brushes, and shame anyone with a cracked iPhone based on what it says about their personality — trust me, it speaks volumes!

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We're Not Friends We're Business Partners

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 02:00:00 -0500

We're starting a support group for people who have had to execute a Facebook Marketplace pickup while viciously hungover—do you want in? Luke and I take to the podcast this week to chat about our favorite micro-influencers, our aversion to submitting maintenance requests as renters, and our deep disappointment when we reconvene with our besties after a night out and no one has collected any good tea.

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Concert Etiquette

Tue, 08 Oct 2024 02:00:00 -0500

If it's one thing about us, it's that we're going to buy tickets to the concert! Annie and I take to the podcast to share in our love for being "woo" girls at our favorite live shows, to bitch about music venues that don't have water stations, and to shame our friends who don't know how to purchase concert tickets without getting scammed. (You know who you are — said with love!)

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9 Beers, 9 Hotdogs, 9 Innings

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 02:00:00 -0500

How many hotdogs could you reasonably consume in a 2.5-hour sitting? The 9x9x9 challenge has officially met its match, and I have the absolute pleasure of hosting our fearless champion on this week's podcast! Neil and I take to the pod to chat about the joys of trying your hand at something new, the horrors of bad plumbing, and the ultimate buzzkill—getting slapped with a parking ticket (or two).

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Autumn's Rebrand

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Is it just us, or do all Midwestern dads have the same undeniable penchant for building elaborate underwater ecosystems within the home? What’s the story there? This week on the podcast Grace and I share our affinity for Autumn's rebrand, our loathing of overcrowded spaces, and our tendency toward bad sportsmanship. Join in, you know you wanna!

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The Man Behind the Curtain

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 02:00:00 -0500

If you're chemically addicted to watching Chicago apartment tours on TikTok, this episode is for you! Get to know the man behind the curtain (or camera), from his least favorite household chore to his go-to Chipotle order. Dean and I take to the podcast to chat about how he got started doing his now infamous apartment tours, the ups and downs of social media, the challenges that come with growing out of friendships, and so much more!

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Nature's Still Got It

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 02:00:00 -0500

You know you've been spending too much time indoors when you go outside and think to yourself, man it rocks out here!! James and I take to the podcast to chat about the benefits of being curious, the worst smells at the Logan Square Farmer's Market, and the absolute freaks that think it's okay to litter.

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This Year We're Acting Hot

Tue, 03 Sep 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Now, I'm not here to tell you to fake it until you make it, but sometimes the key to being hot is simply acting hot!!! Pat and I take to the pod this week to share our mutual love of Google Calendar, divulge our early interest in retirement, and discuss doing the hard work of confronting our emotions.

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Not Going to Let a Man Tell Me What to Do

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 02:00:00 -0500

If it's one thing about us, it's that we're never going to let a man tell us what to do. Dante and I take to the podcast to sing the praises of this summer's pop girlies, lament the horrors of moving, and ruminate over the audacity of people at the airport. Join in, you know you wanna. ;)

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Brat Summer

Tue, 20 Aug 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Did you know that humans cement their taste in music in their late twenties? Feeling incredibly blessed to live during a time in which my Saturn Return overlaps with Brat Summer — formative years to say the least! Mickey and I take to the podcast to discuss the ups and downs of owning a fully developed pre-frontal cortex (try saying that five times fast!) and, more importantly, to talk mad shit about Glen Powell. Join in, you know you wanna. ;)

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Standing on Business

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 02:00:00 -0500

The Olympics had us singing "Party in the USA" just before the Chicago Air and Water Show came along and knocked the red, white, and blue right out of us again — because that's where we simply must stand on business! Ciara and I take to the podcast to celebrate Team USA and triangular-shaped buildings before we debate over our differing tastes for spooky szn and so much more — join in, the water's fine!

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For the Love of the Game

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 02:00:00 -0500

We're baaaack, and much to everyone's dismay, we're better than ever! Join us for our season kick-off where James and I take to the pod to share in our love for swimming and our distaste for servers that overcompensate, and stay for an impassioned speech about how much I hate having to get up out of my seat when the person next to me on a flight has to use the restroom. Did you miss me?

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I Love Limes

Tue, 28 May 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Is there anything better than seeing how the other half lives? If you enjoy treating yourself to celebrity home tours or listening to Dakota Johnson ramble on about false fruit obsessions, this episode is for you! Join us for a silly little conversation about Architectural Digest tours, the impending cicada boom, and the horror of discovering you have self-tanner hands.

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I Hate White Rabbits

Tue, 21 May 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Sitting around the campfire is all fun and games until you become the chosen one and suddenly you're blind and both of your lungs collapse. Not to mention the lingering smell that adheres to everything you own — 'tis the season! James and I jump on the podcast to fawn over reunion videos, complain about smoke in the eyes, and argue over whether being late is culturally acceptable, join in!

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We Contain Multitudes

Tue, 14 May 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Did you have a Christian phase? Have you also been arrested? I'm not saying there's a correlation, but let's look at the facts. Kyle and I self-identify as total sweethearts, but previously we were singing hymns and doing time. Join us for an honest conversation about the joys of dating, the burden of having a downstairs neighbor, and the harsh reality of it being an election year.

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Closing Time

Tue, 07 May 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Picture this: It's 1:30 am, the lights come on, 'Closing Time' starts playing over the speakers, the bartenders have turned on you and there are two big burly guys telling you that you can't wait for your Uber inside. Is there anything worse?

I think not! Owen, James, and I take to the podcast for a deep and intellectual conversation about e-cards, eye doctors, expiration dates, and more. You're seriously not going to want to miss this one babes, xx.

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Death Penalty

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Do you suffer from road rage or are you medicated? As a proud passenger princess myself, I typically abstain — but I understand the urge, driving is hard! Let it out, bestie! Dylan and I take to the pod to grumble about physical labor and publicly shame people who don't use their turn signals. Join in the fun, you know you want to. ;)

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Open Campus Lunch

Tue, 23 Apr 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Did your high school have an open campus lunch or were you one of the unlucky ones? I hate to break it to you, but there is truly no experience that could compare to piling seven deep in a friend's car and zipping across the street to the mall food court for a slice of Rocky Rococo's pepperoni pizza and a pink lemonade. None! Join us for a silly little conversation about drunk McDonald's orders, quicksand, walkable cities and so much more.

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iPad Kids

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Do you ride or die for Steve Jobs? Don’t worry, you’re safe here! Jake and I take to the podcast to discuss the finest technological advances of our lifetime (caller ID & iPhone cases with kickstands) while simultaneously confessing our unyielding need to touch grass and perhaps create something with our hands, because we contain multitudes!

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With the Works

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 02:00:00 -0500

I need to apologize to anyone who listens to this episode and purchases a ticket to Lollapalooza because I said Phoebe Bridgers is on the lineup. That is utter misinformation, she's probably busy that weekend, and I have no idea where I heard this rumor or why it came out of my mouth. Please forgive me!

Okay, now that we got that out of the way. If you're NOT mad at me, consider joining us for a silly little episode about dogs — big dogs, small dogs, hotdogs, Chicago-style dogs, corndogs, etc. You name it, we've got it, just the way you like it. ;)

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Who Invented Nicknames

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Do you have a nickname? Was it self prescribed or bestowed upon you? Do you prefer your god-given name? What if god isn’t real, then what? So many questions!

While you contemplate your answers, why not join us for a silly little episode about the magic of visiting your local Asian supermarket, the terror of encountering your local Christian Bible thumper, and the harsh reality of taking an overwhelming amount of supplements and vitamins before embarking on your daily commute via your local mode of public transportation. Sounds fun, right?

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Watch This Space!

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Becoming an adult means getting a printer for the home and we're officially shedding our youth today, folks. James and I take to the pod to discuss the versatility of breakfast sandwiches, lament over the incredible inconvenience of having to type in a password, and persecute anyone who willingly leaves the house with a chipped mani. Sorry, not sorry!

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We Used to Have Class

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 02:00:00 -0500

What ever happened to getting all gussied up for a night at the theater? We used to have class, we used to have taste, we used to have culture — now all we've got are a bunch of hussies wearing their "Kiss me, I'm Irish" t-shirts to the Saturday evening showing of My Fair Lady. Join us for a silly little conversation about comfort shows, modern architecture, and boring losers who refuse to shake ass on the dance floor.

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Super Fresh

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 02:00:00 -0500

Not to be dramatic, but I would happily lay down my life for the man who sings songs to his goat on TikTok. Have you had the pleasure of encountering this sweet creature? His gentle spirit, his adoring fan, I simply can't get enough! Join us on the pod for a silly little conversation about whether our reverence for animal videos spans generations and stay for my hot take on what it takes to grow out a pixie cut — GUTS.

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Choose Your Own Destiny

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 02:00:00 -0600

Did you know that if you get bad news during a tarot reading it's your fault? Anyway, Jasen paid 30 dollars for a woman to tell him he was destined to get famous by coming on my podcast, so here goes! Join us for a silly little conversation about rollerskating, apartments with no personality, and reality TV's latest innovation, The Traitors. You're going to love it, seriously!

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Ketchup or Mustard

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 02:00:00 -0600

When it comes to condiments, how refined is your palate? I'm a mustard girlie, but I admittedly still fuck with ketchup, is that okay? You can be honest! Join us for a silly little conversation about our favorite mayo-based dressings, our biggest red flags, and our thoughts on the ugliest running shoes.

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Locked In

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 02:00:00 -0600

Besties, are you tweaking out or are you locked in? We're asking the tough questions today on Pessimistic at Best! Personally, I'm tweaking but I'm trying sooo hard to lock in. Join us for a comically unstable conversation about bidets, movie trailers, and the Twitter comments section.

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Slay the House Boots Down

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 02:00:00 -0600

Are you a cat person or a dog person? I'm not trying to start drama but personally, I've never seen a dog boots the house down, just saying!!! Zoe and take to the podcast to fawn over the feline's primordial pouch, trash talk Chicago winters, and share our hot takes on hairless pets — join in if you're feeling frisky ;)

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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Tue, 06 Feb 2024 02:00:00 -0600

It's 2024 and the rumors are true, I'm popping off this year! So sorry you had to find out like this, destiny is calling and I'd be a fool to let her go to voicemail, as they say!

We're back with a new season and a slightly new episode format that I'm so excited to finally pump into your sweet little ears. This season we're starting a new segment on the pod called, "the good, the bad, and the ugly," and (not to state the obvious, but) during this segment, my guests will be invited to share something good, something bad, and something ugly.

These could include personal anecdotes, fictional characters, opinions on the latest fashion trends, or the hottest celebrity gossip — the list goes on! Always open to interpretation, of course.

I'm kicking things off this week and will be sharing my first #GBU of the season to set the tone, so join us for a silly little conversation about *that* final dance number in Saltburn, the tragedy that is almost shitting your pants, what it really means to be a girl's girl, and so much more.

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Internet Couple

Tue, 28 Nov 2023 02:00:00 -0600

We’re just another internet couple creating content for our adoring fans. It’s hard work, but somebody’s got to do it. So, here we present you the final episode of season six.

We’re celebrating Festivus a little early this year and airing our grievances with one another right here on the pod, so join us in discussing the things we like the least about each other. The perfect start to a merry holiday season, if I do say so myself! See you next year. ;)

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Who Are We to Say?

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 02:00:00 -0600

How old were you when you learned to eat vegetables? As a former picky eater, I was admittedly a bit of late bloomer, myself. Magda and I may have grown up in different cities but we were both members of our respective middle school skiing clubs, neither of us can do a cartwheel, and we both decided to take up Gender & Women’s Studies minors sooo, you do the math. Join us for a silly little conversation about health fads, screen time, and our mutual disdain for winter sports, if you dare!

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Midwestern Casserole

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 03:00:00 -0600

What's your favorite season? If the answer isn't fall, you're wrong, no offense! The weather, the clothes, the variety of soups — I mean seriously, what's not to love? Join us for a little chat about our mutual love for all things autumnal and stay for a run-down of the campiest horror movies and our go-to Thanksgiving side dishes — you're not going to want to miss this wholesome little episode. ;)

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Hell on Wheels

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 02:00:00 -0600

Did you know opting out of Boom Cup could prevent you from contracting coronavirus? That's a W for my non-competitive gals if I've ever heard one! Yes, the rumors are true, James got the vid and then got his job back, and I got to be home for one whole day last week! Anyway, join us for an incredibly slap-happy little conversation that will take you all the way from Las Vegas, Nevada to Nashville, Tennessee, where some guy named Pitt will lovingly call your friend a "big girl" while you're ripping shots in the back of his army tank turned party bus.

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Pickle in the Fridge

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 01:00:00 -0500

Someone on YouTube commented on one of my recent podcast episodes and said, "Good video and pretty feet," so do with that information what you will! Safe to say I've been wearing socks on the pod ever since. Anyway, your favorite co-host is back, so tune into this week's ep for a breakdown of the difference between spooky movies vs. horror movies and stay to find out why I cried at work. It'll be so fun, I swear! <3

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Two Hours in Calabasas

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Have you ever traveled to Calabasas and back in a day? Well I have, and it stunk! Picture this—you’re flying Southwest Airlines, you unknowingly choose the seat in between a large party of 40-year old divorcees, you land at LAX and are forced to walk 2 miles to the Uber pick-up spot, you drive to your meeting, black out while pitching ideas to your client, and then head right back to the airport only to find out that your flight home to has been delayed by an hour and a half. I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemies!

In other news, James is back on the podcast this week—join us for a little chitchat about accidentally killing your houseplants, overindulging in board games, and eating really bad turkey sandwiches.

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Mother Knows Best

Tue, 03 Oct 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Do you still seek approval from Mom? Don't worry, you're amongst friends! I mean come on, there's truly nothing more validating than an endorsement from your mother, even at the ripe old age of twenty-seven. Alex, Andrew, and I take to the podcast to discuss the challenges of living with food restrictions, the absolute magic of snow days, and the three incredible women single-handedly saving our economy — let's go girls!

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Girls Just Want to Play Outside

Tue, 26 Sep 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Do you believe in astrology? Meg and I are both fire signs entering our Saturn Return, so send us your thoughts and prayers, besties! On this week's ep, we discuss the pros and cons of recreational sports, recount the trauma of running the pacer test in gym class, and share our mutual ick for grown men riding electric scooters in their business casual clothes. We're just a couple of gals on a mission to get out of the house, join in!

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Funk It Up

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Besties, what do you do when you get into a funk? Do you quit your job? Move to a new city? Guest star on a friend's podcast? All valid options, to be sure! Collin and I take to the pod to chat about when it's appropriate to run away from your problems, what not to order at your favorite fast-casual restaurants, the evolution of bracelet trends in the early 2000s, and so much more. Join us — you know you want to. ;)

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F*ck Ass Bob

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 02:00:00 -0500

My wonderful friend Clair and I take to the podcast for a philosophical discussion about a few of the very particular life experiences explicitly reserved for twenty-somethings who are post-college, but pre-normal, happy, functioning adult life — including, but certainly not limited to, teaching English in Spain, working in logistics (bonus points if it's for a random trucking company), crying at a music festival, and chopping off all of your hair. Bingo if you've hit them all! ;)

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This One's for My Non-Sporty Girls

Tue, 05 Sep 2023 02:00:00 -0500

I'm not a particularly competitive person and I certainly wasn't gifted with strong hand-eye coordination—and as they say—two wrongs don't make a right. Brit, Cat, and I take to the podcast to share our mutual disdain for competitive sports, dive into our incredibly unlucky losing streaks, and give Cat a proper Chicago send-off before she embarks on her new journey abroad. We're certainly going to miss you, Cat! Catch you across the pond. ;)

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Only Child Syndrome

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Fun fact: I once had a classmate give a 5-minute speech about how I'm actually not that big of an asshole despite being an only child — pretty cool right! Ray and I take to the podcast to bond over our "only child syndrome," debate over Drake's silly little habit of adopting new accents, and share our love/hate relationship with self-promotion in the pursuit of our individual creative endeavors. Join in!

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Where the Hell Have You Been, Loca?

Tue, 22 Aug 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Ok be honest, was Twilight your sexual awakening too? I think it goes without saying that we're Team Edward, but the thing about being Team Edward is that we were obviously still hootin' & hollerin' along with everyone else in the theater during that shirtless scene in New Moon. I mean come on, we're only human!

My bestie girls and I take to the podcast to dissect the myriad of ways we could become famous, discuss the unsettling CGI that brought baby Renesmee to life, and have a laugh about grown men riding electric scooters while dressed in business casual. Anyway, this one's for the girls that love boys who sparkle, xoxo.

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Irrational Fear of Teens

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Do you dodge teenagers like the plague? Do you cross the street to avoid crossing their path? You may have ephebiphobia or an irrational fear of teens, and let it be known that you're amongst friends. Sarah and I take to the podcast to share our mutual fear of TikTok's target demographic and bond over our experiences growing up in the catholic church before diving into life as a grief therapist and the terror of subbing for an intramural sports team. We're covering all of the bases, so it's sure to be a home run. Join in! ;)

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Feeling Strong and Brave

Tue, 08 Aug 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Season 6 is here at long last! Let us catch you up on everything that's happened since we last spoke, from vowing never to travel with our cats again to waking up with a stranger in our bed to Lizzo getting canceled for body-shaming her backup dancers. It's been an eventful few weeks, to say the least, let's dive in. ;)

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Just a Girl and Her Dental Fillings

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 02:00:00 -0500

One hundred episodes in and we're feeling fine! James and I take to the podcast to celebrate with a riveting discussion about our stance on hot tubs, Chicago's breakfast spots, and the potentially life-altering decision to say goodbye to Eucerin forever, sounds fun, right? Join in!

P.S. To whom it may concern, I recently discovered that I had two cavities and got my first-ever dental fillings hours prior to recording this episode — so maybe I'm talking a little funny, sue me!

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Sore Loser

Tue, 20 Jun 2023 10:00:00 -0500

If it's one thing about me, I'm not competitive, but I am a sore loser. James and I just got back from a trip to Milwaukee to celebrate a friend's birthday and we played an absolutely ridiculous amount of card games, got in a fight about whether or not to go to Summerfest, ate copious amounts of kettle corn, then, ironically won a ticket to Summerfest — life is a silly little game, isn't it? Anyway, join in!

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24K Magic in the Air

Tue, 13 Jun 2023 01:00:00 -0500

The theme is rhinestones and denim, honey! Friend of the pod, returning guest, the light of my life, and fire of my loins, Grace Ferolo joins me back on the podcast to recap her recent trip out to Sin City to see the man, the myth, the legend, Bruno Mars, before we dive into the plight of the angry woman, the blessing & the curse of having a busy schedule, and the quest for love in all forms.

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Grace is currently (and respectfully) off the grid ;) your loss!

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Naked Bike Ride

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Personally, I've never had the urge to get butt naked and take my bicycle for a spin through the city streets, but who am I to yuck somebody else's yum! Join us on the podcast for a lovely little recap of James' birthday weekend and stay for my newfound favorite cure for the hiccups, James' issue with divvy-bike sanitation practices, our pitch for the drink of the summer, and more!

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America's Favorite Pastime

Tue, 30 May 2023 11:00:00 -0500

There's nothing more patriotic than celebrating Memorial Day Weekend with a Vienna hotdog and a Miller Lite at the stadium, am I right ladies? James and I take to the podcast to discuss my googling "grills for beginners" ahead of our trip to Home Depot, our mutual distaste for sandals, and more! Gear up for a taste of the American spirit, if you know what I mean, xoxo.

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Barefoot-Boy Summer

Tue, 23 May 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Barefoot-boy summer is upon us, the sun is shining, and for better or for worse, the toes are OUT. Kyle and I take to the podcast to reminisce on our first swear words (or cuss words for you Texans), share our favorite phone games, and swap foot fetish stories, join us if you dare. ;)

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It's Not a Proper Doctor's Office Unless There's a Fish Tank

Tue, 16 May 2023 02:00:00 -0500

When was the last time you had a hand cramp? Well, I got one writing the notes for this episode, so it must be good! James and I take to the podcast to discuss the odd marketing tactics of a quirky local establishment here in Logan Square called the Friendship Chinese Restaurant before diving into my unhealthy obsession with Facebook Marketplace and my stance on Doctor's offices without fish tanks.

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LISTEN TO LOVE AGAIN OUT NOW
Click here to listen to Love Again

TEST YOUR WORD PER MINUTE
Click here for a fun lil' typing quiz (hehe)

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Slap a Label on Me

Tue, 09 May 2023 02:00:00 -0500

If it's one thing about me, it's that I love a personality quiz. Categorize me, put me in a box, slap a label on me, I don't mind! I just got back from my all-company summit in which I found out that I'm a "collaborator" within the Predictive Index. I actually felt like I learned a lot about myself — and all after answering two measly questions, imagine! Anyway, join us on the podcast to learn how many times I pick up my phone a day, hear James gripe about drinking the haterade on his Twitter fyp, and get the low down on the next big thing happening in our relationship — our sharing a medical professional!

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Money Does Buy Happiness

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Rich people ruin everything but also like — gimme some, you know? Money absolutely does buy happiness and whoever says otherwise is lying to your literal face and should not be trusted, got it? Anyway, join us for a heated debate about the importance of adding to your savings account, and stay for a riveting conversation about voodoo dolls & ouija boards, closeted nerds, men in heels, and more, xx.

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Drive Your Tractor to School Day

Tue, 18 Apr 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Today the Kedzie Kids™ take to the pod to tackle an important question — 'Drive Your Tractor to School Day' — urban myth or rural fact? Join us for a riveting conversation about middle school bullies, ripped pants, and life on the dairy farm — and stay for a charming little anecdote about the time that I almost threw up when it was my turn to milk the cow during a school field trip.

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TV Is for Intellectuals

Tue, 11 Apr 2023 02:00:00 -0500

At this time, I'd like to give a shoutout to British Airways via American Airlines for reconnecting me with Abby Mackinnon on the way to the most magical place on earth — London, of course!

I can genuinely say that I'm so incredibly happy our departing flight got moved up a full 3 hours and that our connection was moved all way from JFK to CLT because had that not been the case, I wouldn't have seen the girl in her Yankee's cap fighting for her life down the aisle in order to get to her seat.

Welcome to our study abroad 2.0 episode, where Abby and I rehash all of our favorite mems from our most recent trip to the Big Apple (Joe, if you're reading this, that joke is for you), discuss the many downsides to being millennial/gen-z cusps, deliberate over the current state of television, and more!

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Support the show

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Bopping Around for Drinks and Snacks

Tue, 04 Apr 2023 02:00:00 -0500

Not to brag, but I recently had a Tweet go viral (upwards of 2+ likes) about how vacation is really just about bopping around for drinks and snacks., and honestly? I stand by that. James and I just got back from London, the literal trip of a lifetime, so naturally I wrote up a pros and cons list for the recap. Let's dive in, shall we?

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The Girl Who Never Shuts Up About Study Abroad

Tue, 28 Mar 2023 02:00:00 -0500

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me! James and I decided to take a ten year anniversary trip across the pond and I may or may not have gotten us an Airbnb as close to my old dorm as humanly possible — we're reliving the glory days, baby! Goals for the trip include convincing at least one person that I'm British and maintaining a healthy gut microbiome throughout our stay, wish us luck, xx.

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Drunk on Spring and Sudafed

Tue, 21 Mar 2023 02:00:00 -0500

I sold my car and bought a Pitchfork ticket — spring has sprung and love is in the air! Spring is an incredibly intoxicating season, isn't it? Especially when you live in a winter hellscape like we do here in the midwest, but as they say, you have to experience the lows to appreciate the highs, am I right ladies? Join us for a conversation about attempting to sell your car online, cleaning out your childhood home, finding love in a hopeless place (the catholic church), and more!

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Number Two

Tue, 14 Mar 2023 03:00:00 -0500

This one is for my IBS girlies! This is probably the first time we've openly discussed excrement on the pod, and frankly, it may also be the last! But in the wise words of Tarō Gomi — everyone poops. So, with that said, join us for a liberating conversation about bodily fluids, new friends, light-up shoes, and more!

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Justice for Anne Hathaway

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 02:00:00 -0600

Anne Hathaway is in her bag and where are you? We, as a society, owe Anne and all of the try-hard girlies and cringey queens a sincere apology. Allow women to be cringe! It’s their god-given right. So all of that is to say, if you’re team Anne, join us for a conversation about following celebrities on social media, cutting your bangs right before leaving the house, and so much more! You know you want to, xx.

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Somebody Call the Locksmith

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 02:00:00 -0600

Life hack: Lock a stranger out of their own home in order to force them into a life-long friendship! That's how Evan and I became besties and the rest is literally history. Tune in for the deets on our friendship origin story and stay for a lovely little conversation about our mutual love of thrifting, our shared struggle to find our respective TikTok personas, the delicate art of feng shui, and more, xx.

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Girls Can Have a Little Hangxiety as a Treat

Tue, 21 Feb 2023 02:00:00 -0600

Welcome to the hangover episode where Sophia and I discuss the politics of bar-time karaoke and share our go-to hangover prevention methods before embracing our hangxiety and freaking out over our impending Saturn return. Pop some Advil and come along for the ride if you’re feeling brave, xoxo.

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We Stand with Renters

Tue, 14 Feb 2023 02:00:00 -0600

Have you heard about the guy who traded a paperclip for a house? Well how about this for news — Jake and I are both renters in Chicago, and although we may not have a house like Paperclip Guy, we do have beautiful relationships with our maintenance workers and we don’t have to shovel snow like the freaks with mortgages. Join us for a conversation about holidays, home decor, concussions, and more!

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JAMES’ TURKEY APPLE PANINI RECIPE: (you're welcome)

Ingredients

Butter
Sliced Ciabatta
Sliced Colby Jack
Sliced Oven Roasted Turkey
Kwoowk Spice (salt, paprika, chili pepper flakes, thyme, garlic salt)
Honey
Thin Cut Apple Slices

Instructions

Put a pan on low heat and melt butter
Add ciabatta slices and coat both sides with butter
Add colby jack, turkey, and spice and close sandwich
Cook and flip periodically until bread is golden brown and cheese has melted
Take sandwich off heat and add the honey and apple slices
Slice and enjoy

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Inviting Strangers Over for Dinner

Tue, 07 Feb 2023 02:00:00 -0600

We’re back, we paid off our couch, and we’re onto season 5! Join us as we recap our break and catch you up to speed on all of the adult things we’ve been doing recently, including but not limited to making the active choice to spend less time on our phones, opening a new line of credit, going to a friend’s wedding, and inviting strangers over to our house for a sit-down dinner. Incredible things can be accomplished at twenty-six!

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A Festivus for the Rest of Us

Tue, 20 Dec 2022 02:00:00 -0600

Happy (almost) Festivus! Are you familiar with the holiday? Originally coined by Frank Costanza of Seinfeld, Festivus is a holiday based around the airing of grievances, a practice I’m quite comfortable with myself. Are you familiar with the TikTok trend, “the ick challenge?” Think of Festivus as the original ick challenge and join us as James and I air our grievances or share our icks with one another as we round out season 4 of Pessimistic at Best!

P.S. Thanks for listening ;) See you next year!

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In His Flop Era

Tue, 13 Dec 2022 02:00:00 -0600

Did you survive your work holiday party? We made it out alive, but not without taking a few Ls (literally) along the way. To sum it all up, I left my credit card at a bar after making the conscious decision to open a tab (classic) and James swapped jackets with one of my coworkers and lost his wallet in the process. So, naturally, the next morning was spent traipsing around Madison in search of clues—but all's well that ends well, as they say!

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That Wasn't on My 2022 Bingo Card

Tue, 06 Dec 2022 02:00:00 -0600

We’ve been back and forth between Chicago and Madison quite a bit recently. We went home for Thanksgiving, brought the cats, Misho went down the laundry shoot, James shot a deer—it’s been eventful, to say the least! Anyway, we're heading back to Madtown this weekend for my work holiday party, wish us luck, xoxo.

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The “R” Word

Tue, 29 Nov 2022 02:00:00 -0600

Have you heard of the Camino de Santiago? It’s a popular pilgrimage through the north of Spain and my dad just finished his trek. He took the “French Way,” which is roughly the same length as the journey across the state of Wisconsin. Now that you have that perspective, does that make it more or less cool? For me, it’s tough to say, but I can confirm that I would not want to spend 45 days walking across the great badger state. Anyway, my dad’s been home for a little over a month now and we’re taking to the pod to recap his journey and chit-chat about what’s on the horizon, join in!

P.S. Don’t mention the “R” word (retirement) if you know what’s good for you.

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CLICK HERE TO READ THE BLOG
Click here to read more about Jeff’s journey through Spain

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Susan’s Applehole

Tue, 22 Nov 2022 01:00:00 -0600

Coworkers by day, Daycatcher groupies by night—we’re just a couple of girls slaying the social media game before pounding a respectable amount of Twisted Teas™ at a basement show and if that’s not your vibe, we don’t want it, sister. Ginny was my first hire at work and now she’s stuck with me forever! Join us for a conversation about surprises, long-distance moves, Ginny’s first snowfall as a Wisconsinite, and more!

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Do You Think of Me Differently Now That I Have a Ring Light?

Tue, 15 Nov 2022 02:00:00 -0600

The rumors are true—I bought a ring light. Which officially makes me the worst and most famous person that you know. What you decide to do with that information is frankly none of my business. In the meantime, follow me on TikTok, xoxo. What else have you missed? Let’s see—James had his first Chicago show, I lost my credit card, and I’ve officially started beef with our neighbor who somehow manages to set their car alarm off every single day.

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LISTEN TO PLAYHEAD
Click here to find Playhead on your favorite streaming service

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Fight or Flight

Tue, 08 Nov 2022 02:00:00 -0600

Serving up my second public apology on a silver platter, honey! I’m genuinely so sorry for going completely MIA for a full three weeks. I had two back-to-back trips (because I’m rich) and am truly terrible at planning ahead but I’m back and ready to bitch about my least favorite airline, brag about my new iPad, totally rock your world, etc.

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A Crazy Amount of Squash

Tue, 11 Oct 2022 02:00:00 -0500

James released an album (Playhead, out everywhere, xoxo!) and I asked him if he wanted to be on the podcast to promote it like a *real* guest and he laughed in my face! Anyway, join us for a conversation about tunes, tummy aches, and tons of squash if you’re into that sort of thing.

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Camp Girls Who Can’t Swim

Tue, 04 Oct 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Were you a camp kid? Typically, most of us fall on one side of the fence, but then there are those of us who landed somewhere in between, went to camp, became obsessed with pop culture, and eventually started podcasts rooted in pessimism—just us? Oops! Anyway, meet my internet-friend-turned-real-life-bestie and learn more about life in Toronto, the reality of the dark web (AKA Reddit), how to play it extremely cool in front of Jake Gyllenhaal, and more!

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Living in Abundance

Tue, 27 Sep 2022 02:00:00 -0500

We’re giving rich, we’re giving luxury, we’re giving opulence, honey! Jake, my former intern turned work bestie, also just moved to the Windy City™, and to say we’re thriving would be a massive understatement. Is our rent too high? Duh. Are our Ubers outrageously expensive? Obviously. But we’re rich in experiences, baby—and that's what counts. We’re just a couple of city gals living in absolute abundance, what can we say! xx

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Chronically Online

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 02:00:00 -0500

From the unanswered question surrounding Lea Michele’s ability to read to the Don’t Worry Darling red carpet drama to the Queen’s death (RIP in peace), it was quite the week—especially for those of us who simply can’t pry our eyeballs away from the internet. Sara and I are social media managers by day and pop-culture connoisseurs by night. We’re just a couple of gals with an incurable disease in which we quite literally can’t stop consuming content on the world wide web, sue us!

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Running My Silly Little Errands

Tue, 13 Sep 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Scheduling a dentist appointment to cement myself as a Chicago resident, wbu? Seriously though, there’s nothing quite like running undesirable errands to make you feel established in a new city. A trip to Milan Laser is next—time to fill that calendar, honey!

P.S. Justice for Tasha, Love Island Season 8. xx

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Crying in Public

Tue, 06 Sep 2022 02:00:00 -0500

We’re BACK! Did you miss us? Because we sure missed you! It’s been eight long weeks, but to recap everything you may have missed—we made the big move to Chicago, one of us has picked up a new habit of crying in public, and the other’s been dabbling in AMAs on Instagram. Anyway, it’s great to be back! Season four, here we come. ;*

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Being More Intentional or Whatever

Tue, 28 Jun 2022 02:00:00 -0500

And that’s a wrap on season 3! Join us for a mid-year intentions check-in where we discuss how little I’ve worked on being better at spending time alone and how much more “intentional” James has been since setting his new year's intention as being more intentional. Confused? Same! Hope to figure it all out once I turn 26—see you in August, xx.

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SAVE ROE V. WADE
Click here to donate to the Wisconsin Abortion Fund
Click here to donate to the Planned Parenthood Action Fund

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Hot People with Tummy Aches

Tue, 21 Jun 2022 00:00:00 -0500

James and I just got back from the PNW, are you jealous? We thought so! We took a trip up to Seattle and Vancouver to visit friends and family and had a blast, but unfortunately, we also had tummy aches the entire time—you win some, you lose some! Enjoy this little trip recap and see if you can guess what made our tummies hurt! xx

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Computer Games Raised Us

Tue, 07 Jun 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Did you grow up playing computer games? Did you base your friendships on whoever had the best internet connection? Did your parents take money out of your allowance so that you could be a member of both Club Penguin and RuneScape? Well, you're in luck, because Annie and I can very much relate! Tune in to this week's pod to listen to us reminisce on our early friendship, divulge our elementary school crushes, and dive into our neighborhood shenanigans!

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The Crushing Weight of Existing Online

Tue, 31 May 2022 02:00:00 -0500

For someone who works in social media, I admittedly have absolutely no idea how to be online. I can’t remember how to Instagram, I still don’t know how to Tiktok, I’m on BeReal for some reason, and I’ve recently developed social media anxiety? Cute and hot! James and I take to the pod to discuss the crushing reality of existing online whilst trying to promote our various projects, the irony of online critics (haters make us famous!), and more—join in!

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Sitting Next to Someone at the Airport is Brave

Tue, 24 May 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Something that nobody’s talking about is that it’s actually really brave to sit next to someone at the airport. Personally, I would never be caught dead doing something like that, but to each their own! Desperate for more airport etiquette by yours truly? You’re in luck! I just got back from a work trip and I saved all of the juicy details just for you, tune in!

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You Literally Can’t Go Home If It’s the Weekend

Tue, 17 May 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Did you know that during the weekend you’re supposed to spend as little time at home as humanly possible? That’s right, Saturday and Sunday are for leaving the house and never returning. You literally can’t go home until Monday, if you do you’ll probably light on fire! Anyway, here’s what’s been keeping us busy on the weekends when we leave the house.

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Life? She’s Messy!

Tue, 10 May 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Most of the time you plan your little events and your trips and your dinners with friends and life is good, other times you have a quick menty-b and dissociate at work while looking at memes about having your rights stripped away, it’s called BALANCE. Ironically, the week that I return from my unplanned podcasting hiatus just so happens to be National Mental Health Awareness Week, perhaps a sick joke? But in all seriousness, let this little ep be a reminder to take care of yourselves because, life? She’s messy—okay? Lysm! xx

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PROTECT ACCESS TO SAFE, LEGAL ABORTION & REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS
Click here to donate to the Wisconsin Abortion Fund
Click here to donate to the Planned Parenthood Action Fund

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Water Is Not a Beverage

Tue, 12 Apr 2022 02:00:00 -0500

The #1 rule that I live by is this: If you consume three or more specialty beverages within a short period of time, that automatically means you’re having a good day. And just so we’re crystal clear, water is not a beverage. We’re not here for hydration, we’re just here to sip our little drinks and be merry. It’s simple really. What else are we drinking? We’re drinking the Shonda Rhimes Koolaid, honey! Confused? So are we! Oh, by the way, we’re moving to Chicago! xx

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BRIDGERTON: OFFICIAL PLAYLIST
Click here to listen on Spotify

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Just a Couple of Gals Doing Local Things

Tue, 05 Apr 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Hobbies are exhausting. I know because I have one, it’s this podcast, and I’m literally tired all the time. Now just imagine having enough hobbies to own and operate 17 [seventeen] different Instagram accounts. This week on the pod, I’m joined by my internet acquaintance turned real-life friend Sigra to chat about all of her various avocations which range from bands to bugs. She’s 10x more interesting than I’ll ever be, so trust me—you won’t want to miss this one besties!

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Meet Me at the Impound Lot

Tue, 29 Mar 2022 02:00:00 -0500

We’re back after an unexpected hiatus, so it’s time to ask the question—did you miss me? Because boy, did I miss you! Let me start by apologizing for my unplanned absence, last week was truly a week from ~hell~ and I simply needed to take a beat. The good news being that my streak of terrible luck left me with plenty of fuel for the pod. Ready to catch up on everything you missed? Well, buckle on up, because this is a story all about how I wound up at the impound lot with a woman who may or may not have had head lice. Let’s ride!

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She’s Not a Regular Art Teacher, She’s a Cool Art Teacher

Tue, 15 Mar 2022 02:00:00 -0500

Girls who had their friend's parents blocked on Twitter in high school (*cough, cough*) now have severe social media anxiety. Can you imagine growing up with social media today? It was one thing to stress over which song you were going to select for your Myspace profile, but being 16 and feeling the pressure to be hot on main? Pass! This week on the pod I’m joined by none other than my bestie for the restie, the hottest art teacher in Minneapolis, miss Maddie, to chat about teaching in the time of COVID, the trials and tribulations of being a youth in today’s online world, and more! You know the drill, join us if you dare.

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A Bout of Seasonal Depression or Whatever

Tue, 08 Mar 2022 02:00:00 -0600

Gorgeous, gorgeous girls suffer from seasonal depression! I don’t know about you, but this gal is desperate for some vitamin D. Winter sucks for a myriad of reasons, but first and foremost the fashion is absolutely atrocious. Practical footwear? Parkas? If I have to even so much as look at my winter coat again, I’ll scream. Then there’s the snow, the cold temps, the dry skin—anyway, we’ll just be here bitching about it until spring. You know the drill, join in!

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Stay at Home Dad

Tue, 22 Feb 2022 02:00:00 -0600

Is this a retirement announcement? That’s yet to be determined, however, my dad did turn in his notice at the company he’s been employed at for the last 17 years, so hey, that’s something! In this week’s episode, we take to the pod to bitch about work, running (or the lack thereof), winter, remodeling, and the works. Join us!

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Be My Valentine

Tue, 15 Feb 2022 02:00:00 -0600

In this week’s episode, we dare to ask the question—Valentine’s Day, sweet or tacky? Perhaps both! Join us in a conversation about love, rom-coms, proposals, PDA, overpriced menus, heart-shaped pizzas, and more!

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Um, We Don’t Get It

Tue, 08 Feb 2022 02:00:00 -0600

Guess who’s back on the pod and ready to bond over all of the things we don’t understand—my bestie Claire, obviously! Bitcoin? What’s that! NFTs? Not computing! Dust? How in the hell did that get there! Space? Not a chance! Child stars? Who allowed it! Join in!

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The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far from the Tree

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 07:00:00 -0600

I have a *very* special guest joining me for today’s episode. She’s an incredibly talented artist, a total grump ass, and she’s my very best friend—my sweet, sweet Mama! Join us for a lovely little conversation about motherhood, math, creativity, and more!

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Should We Move to Chicago?

Tue, 25 Jan 2022 02:00:00 -0600

In today’s episode, James and I dare to ask the question—should we move to Chicago? Join us, as we take you through our entire pros and cons list, bitch about our current apartment’s heating system, and hypothesize about the overly grandiose lives we could lead in The Wind City. Will moving two and half hours away fix all of our problems, you ask? Only time will tell, xoxo.

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The Year of Like, Realizing Things

Tue, 18 Jan 2022 02:00:00 -0600

Happy New Year to my Pessimistic Pattys and my Pessimistic Pattys only! Remember when Kylie Jenner famously claimed that 2016 was the year of “realizing things?” Well, joke’s on her because the year is now 2022 and I just realized how terrible I am at spending time alone, which brings me to our season 3 kick-off epi! Join us, as we recap everything you missed during our holiday hiatus, dive into our intentions for 2022, and more! So good to be back, xx

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And Just Like That...

Tue, 30 Nov 2021 02:00:00 -0600

Season two has officially come to a close and Adam’s final days in Madison are upon us! Since Adam has finally decided to jump ship and leave my ass in the dust, it seemed only appropriate that we close out the season on his move-out day with a little send-off smoke-sesh (yep, we mean weed! Flower! Bud! Green!) epi for the fans. Join us as we reminisce on the year Adam and I lived together during my brief stint as a pothead, our worst experiences with edibles, and more. Oh, and did I mention that we taste test the infamous Popeyes chicken sandwich? Because obviously! Anyway, if you’re reading this, remember to text Adam to make sure he’s out of his apartment by Tuesday at noon, k thanks bye!

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Health Insurance Is Always Good

Tue, 23 Nov 2021 02:00:00 -0600

Listen, it’s hard to be twenty-five. This week on the podcast my wonderful friend Abby and I gripe about the trials and tribulations of being a twenty-something desperately searching for a job that provides health insurance and cool roommates to split the rent with. I mean seriously, all we’re asking for is a raise and a few friends, is that really so much to ask?

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An Entire Year of Complaining On-Air

Tue, 16 Nov 2021 02:00:00 -0600

Can you believe it? I’ve been complaining at you guys for an entire year! And what a wonderful year it’s been. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve gossiped, we’ve quit old jobs, we’ve started new ones, hey—we’ve even contracted Coronavirus, and we’ve managed to bitch about something or someone every step of the way. Cheers to the next year and may we never run out of things to complain about! xx

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SEND US AN EDIBLE ARRANGEMENT
Click here: ediblearrangements.com

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Art Actually Isn’t Dead

Tue, 09 Nov 2021 02:00:00 -0600

Something that sucks about being a “creative” is that, on occasion, you find yourself in a job that actually stifles your creativity—ironic, isn’t it? But hey, that’s capitalism, baby! The good news is, that hasn’t stopped my friend Jacob, not even a little bit. He’s one of the most talented photographers and artists I know, and if you try to tell me otherwise I WILL report you! Anyway, join us for a conversation about art, sleep schedules, our preferred vices, and more—only if you dare!

P.S. Jacob has a really neat project he’s working on and he needs our help. He’s working to raise money to launch Black Point Studios, a multi-faceted workspace geared towards the creative community.

“Opening Black Point Studios is more to me than an artist workplace. It's a space where artists can come to feel comfortable, and at home with their ideas. Every two months the studio will select four in-house residents from the Black & Brown community.”

Help him reach his goal by THIS FRIDAY 11/12, and if you contribute $100+, you’ll even receive a limited edition print of your choice from a resident artist. Link to donate is in our show notes!

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SUPPORT BLACK POINT STUDIOS
Kickstarter: kickstarter.com

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So, We’re Thinking About Getting a Roomba

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 02:00:00 -0500

So, we have news, we’re thinking about getting a Roomba. I know, this is a big step, but I assure you—we’ve thought long and hard about this. You see, after conducting an extensive amount of research, we’ve come to the conclusion that simply can’t carry on living this miserable, Roomba-less life any longer. We’re adults, and adults have Roombas. It’s as simple as that.

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Two Rotisserie Chickens, Please

Tue, 26 Oct 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Note to self, if you’re purchasing a rotisserie chicken (or two), don’t use the self-checkout. Happy almost November! Here we are, in the throes of cold and flu season—I’m sick, you’re sick and we’re all just sipping our tea, slurping our soup, and hoping for the fucking best. But on the bright side, the Holidays are just around the corner and we don’t know about you, but we’re excited! So, grab a drumstick and join us as we tease our Halloween costumes, discuss the politics surrounding Thanksgiving, and more!

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Nothing like a Little Hangxiety on a Sunday

Tue, 19 Oct 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Truly nothing like a persistent 24-hour hangover to set the tone for some extremely terrifying Sunday scaries—am I right, ladies? James and I went out for the Badger game last weekend and I managed to drink a little too much on a relatively empty stomach and well, you know what they say, you reap what you sow. Anyway, come and work through your mid-week depression with us as we prepare to do it all over again next weekend, hooray!

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Was It Life-Changing?

Tue, 12 Oct 2021 02:00:00 -0500

If you're wondering whose podcast this even is at this point, you're not alone! My friend Joe takes the reins on this week's episode per absolutely no one's request, but hey, at least he's interesting. We chat about his time in China, the grudge he's been holding since we previously roasted him on the pod for his poor travel planning tendencies, and his weird obsession with my dad.

P.S. If you listen all the way to the end you’ll find out which Enneagram he is. Of course, it goes without saying that what you decide to do with that information is up to you.

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Early Bird Gets the Worm, or Whatever

Tue, 05 Oct 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Davis’ first alarm goes off at 4:45 every morning but he doesn’t drink coffee—like, comment, and subscribe if you think that seems sus! On this week’s epi, Davis and I discuss our morning routines, argue over bottled water rankings, and share in our absolute love for movin’ and groovin’ on the dance floor.

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Flannel for Fall? Groundbreaking

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 02:00:00 -0500

James and I just got back from the Apostle Islands where the only coffee shop in town was closed, everyone was wearing flannel, and all of the restaurants were closed by 7pm. Don’t get me wrong, we had a sweet little time, but we also wound up leaving ~early~ because we literally ran out of activities. What can I say, I’m a city girl at heart—sue me!

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Phone, Keys, Wallet

Tue, 14 Sep 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Are you a responsible adult or do you lose at least one of your most important belongings every time to leave the house? If you’re anything like me, you’re so used to things going missing that you assume they’re lost before you even look. And you know what? Most of the time, you’re fucking right! But every once in a while you cancel a debit card and order a new one, only to find that you just put it back in the wrong pocket of your wallet. C'est la vie!

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Just the Two of Us

Tue, 07 Sep 2021 02:00:00 -0500

So, here’s the thing, Adam and I are running out of friends. We’ve both lived in Madison for basically our entire lives, we both grew up on the west side, we both graduated from UW, and slowly but surely all of our mutual friends have up and moved away, leaving us in the fucking dust. Are we bitter? Obviously not, but like our new “608” group chat is just our two-person text thread, so do with that information what you will. Anyway, we’re on a mission to make a new friend this year. Got any solid candidates to send our way? All applications can be sent to samantha@samanthageorgson.com, thanks sm!

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Taking Pics at the Apple Store

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Would you guys believe me if I told you Josie paid a visit to the KK post-pandemic before me? Honestly me neither—but it’s true folks—just her and one hundred and twenty of her nearest and dearest! So glad I wasn’t waiting in that line and, more importantly, so glad I got to see my mountain girl! In this episode, we bitch about living in outdoorsy cities in the summertime, reminisce on middle school mems and our countless Facebook albums filled with Apple Store pics, and thank god we didn’t have TikTok back in our heyday, imagine the receipts!

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Venice, Vegas, or the Wisconsin Dells?

Mon, 23 Aug 2021 02:00:00 -0500

You know what they say—what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas—and for good reason. Have you made the trip out to Sin City? Well, let me spare you because it’s honestly just an expensive version of the Wisconsin Dells. Everything’s neon, everyone’s sunburnt and walking around in flip flops and, for some reason, Bruno Mars can be heard everywhere you go.

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She's BIG Busy

Tue, 17 Aug 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Why do we glamorize being busy? Like seriously, when did we decide being busy was cute? Today on the podcast Sophia and I chat about how much we loathe (but also kind of love?) being busy. Here we are, so desperately wishing to be those girls who wake up with enough time for a cup of coffee (or two!) before our morning workout class that we somehow manage to squeeze in before starting our day. We want to have packed schedules and full social calendars, or at least we think we do. But the truth is, being busy is overrated and overwhelming, so like, let's relax maybe? Idk

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We’ve Got the Runs

Tue, 10 Aug 2021 02:00:00 -0500

We’re runners, but do we actually enjoy running? That’s a loaded question. And yet here we are, signing our lives away to Hal Higdon himself with plans to run 26.2 for the second time this November. So, in honor of signing up for our next race, this week on the podcast Kayla and I chat about one of our favorite (and somehow simultaneously least favorite) pass-times. We swap horror stories, bitch about our current training program, and fawn over our favorite runner-friendly social media app, Strava. Lace up your trainers and get to listening! Bonus points if you tune in to this epi during your morning jog.

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Did you miss me? Be Honest!

Tue, 03 Aug 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Even if you didn’t miss *me*, you did miss out on watching the Bucks win in overtime at Silk Exotic, dinner at SUR without a single Lisa Vanderpump sighting, turning twenty-five on the Tipsy Cow dance floor, and spending lots of time with the a-dults—let's recap shall we?

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Sayonara, Suckers!

Tue, 22 Jun 2021 02:00:00 -0500

It’s almost July and you know what that means—it’s time to check in on our 2021 intentions! I have to be honest, this epi was a little bit of a gut check because I quite literally haven’t been living up to, well, ANY of my intentions. But you know what? That’s why we check in halfway through the year—to feel sorry for ourselves and then to get serious with it, okay? So here goes!

Oh, and P.S. This is also the end of season one! Are you sad? I’m sad! But I guess there’s really no reason to be sad because there’s gonna be a season two, hooray! Anyway, you probably deserve a vacation, I most certainly do, so let’s get to it! See you in August love bugs!

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No Flights, Lots of Feelings

Tue, 15 Jun 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Did we recently record an episode on the many downsides to traveling? Yes! Are we going to take it one step further and record another all about the absolute worst place on earth—the airport? You bet your ass we are! As you may have guessed, I just got back from an incredibly sweet little vacay and let me just tell you, everything that could’ve possibly gone wrong with my flights, did! How sweet is that? Give this epi a listen and you just might find out!

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Booked and Busy

Tue, 08 Jun 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Thirty episodes in and we’re feelin’ fine! This week on the podcast James and I recap his v special birthday weekend, bitch about being too busy all of the damn time and brag about our cutie pie apartment to anyone who will listen, join in!

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H.A.G.S.

Tue, 01 Jun 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Summer is overrated. It was cool when we were kids because it meant three months of absolute freedom, but now? Now summer just means feeling way worse about not being able to spend time outdoors because you’re stuck inside for eight (plus!) hours a day doing something tacky like answering emails. Don’t get me wrong, I like summer just fine, but imo, people give this hot, sweaty, sticky, bug-ridden time of year way too much credit. That being said, H.A.G.S.

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Planes, Trains & Automobiles

Tue, 25 May 2021 02:00:00 -0500

When applied to the act of traveling, the phrase, ‘it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey,’ is actually so stupid. Traveling sucks. The entire process is a great big fat pain in the ass from start to finish and nothing, I mean NOTHING ever goes according to plan.

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Quarter Life Crisis Coming in Hot

Tue, 18 May 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Guess who’s turning 25 next week? My best friend Zoe is! That’s right folks, go and wish my sweet, sweet bug a happy mother fucking 25th birthday, or else! Rumor has it turning 25 is hard. I wouldn’t know, but I will in exactly two months from now, luckily for me, Zoe’s going first. The thing is, we’re already in the midst of our quarter life crises, and on top of what is already a challenging time in our lives, we’re living through a fucking pandemic which is rude. But you know what? We’re gonna turn 25, we’re gonna do it with style, and we’re gonna like it, god damnit.

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Ok, But Like Why Do Bugs Exist

Tue, 11 May 2021 02:00:00 -0500

I really don’t like bugs. I’m terrified of spiders, I hate mosquitos, I’m afraid of bees, and above all else, I’m absolutely REPULSED by ticks. I literally can’t think of anything worse—and boy do I have a story for you.

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When Life Gives You Lemons, Apply For Grad School

Tue, 04 May 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Last time we recorded, Elisia was still trying to figure out her next move after Miss Rona cut her Peace Corps experience short, but my girl is turning lemons into lemonade and moving down to Austin, Texas for grad school and let me tell you, I can’t wait to establish a semi-permanent residence down south with all of my Texas girlies—yeehaw!

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Til Death Do Us Part

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 02:00:00 -0500

If the pandemic was good for anything, it was encouraging, nay, enforcing a pause. Today I have my amazing friend Victoria on the podcast to chat about the non-stop grind that is life in the service industry and even crazier reality of working in a salon in the midst of a pandemic. When you work with people, especially when you work behind the chair, you can’t exactly afford to have a bad attitude while on the clock. Instead, you develop a sort of pseudo persona, one that you can quite literally turn on or off with the flip of a switch. Being “on” all of the time is already mentally and emotionally taxing, then you throw a fucking pandemic into the mix and it becomes a lot harder to put on those happy pants. You know who doesn’t require those happy pants? The dead!

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Are We Adults Yet?

Tue, 20 Apr 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Ok, we get it, we're almost twenty-five and we still don't know how to do our taxes or get our oil changed, so what? Adulting is actually super messed up when you really think about it, and we prefer to believe that the fact that we don't know how to balance a checkbook or schedule our own appointments is really just a testament to our youth. We're working on it ok? We have big girl jobs, we've been flossing more, and honestly? We're just doing our fucking best. What more do you want from us!!!

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Jill of All Trades

Tue, 13 Apr 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Why is it that when you work in a creative field, you’re so often expected to do it all? Ashley and I can certainly attest to this, as we’ve both taken turns playing the role of social media manager, graphic designer, marketing director, copywriter—you name it, we’ve done it—and we probably weren’t paid fairly for it either. Oh, and don’t even get us started on freelancing. In this episode, we bitch about the tricky business of being a “creative,” our ever-growing Zoom fatigue, and the things that have been keeping us busy outside of our 9-5s, including a trip to D.C., a hard to recreate mocktail recipe and the debacle over the shrimp in that one guy’s box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

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Paralysis by Analysis

Tue, 06 Apr 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Do you know what the School of Human Ecology is? How about ‘Human Development and Family Studies’ or ‘Retail and Consumer Behavior?’ No? That’s ok, because honestly, we don’t either! Josie and I weren’t entirely sure what we wanted to do when we got to college, hence the abstract majors, and frankly, we’re still not sure where we’re going to end up, so don’t you dare ask! We’re just a couple of over-thinkers trying our absolute best, ok?

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They Hate to See a Girlboss Winning

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 02:00:00 -0500

It’s true, they really do hate to see a girlboss winning, but you know what they say, nevertheless she persisted! When we were twelve, we’d stay up all night long at sleepovers fantasizing about being married with kids at the age of twenty-five. Then, a few years later we watched the Carrie Bradshaws and the Sophia Amorusos, I mean, Marlowes of the world build their empires and take their cities by storm, all with impressive ease and impeccable style. By the time we got to college we were so confused about what our dreams and goals were actually supposed to be that we signed ourselves up for a ‘Music, Movies and the Sixties’ Freshman Year Interest Group and well, it doesn’t get anymore #girlboss than that—am I right, ladies?

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Sam’s Cookin’

Tue, 23 Mar 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Was ‘learning to cook’ one of my 2021 intentions? Yes, yes it was! Is it working out? Absolutely not! But you know what they say, shoot for the moon and you’ll land amongst the stars—or at the very least you’ll become good pals with the delivery driver at your favorite bagel shop! I’m no chef, and frankly neither is James, though he does whip up some mean scrambled eggs. Cooking just doesn’t come naturally to me, and when something doesn’t come easy, I’m quick to throw in the towel. Or in this case, I’m quick to dial in my go-to takeout order. Did I mention I also hate grocery shopping? The aisles are never laid out in a way that makes sense, the workers are grumpy and I’m always there for two hours too long. Are you a good cook? Do you enjoy yourself during your weekly trip to the grocery store? Explain yourselves!

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You Got Eczema?

Tue, 16 Mar 2021 02:00:00 -0500

If you don’t know what Eucerin is, then you don’t *really* know me. I have the driest of dry skin. We’re talking eczema, keratosis pilaris—the works. I don’t even really have skin, I have scales. My dry skin condition is genetic (thanks a lot, mom!) and I’ve been suffering from and complaining about dry, dehydrated skin for, well, my entire twenty-four years of existence and counting!

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We Just Really Love the Internet

Tue, 09 Mar 2021 02:00:00 -0600

Liz and I fucking love the internet. Liz is a fellow podcaster and we met on Facebook after I volunteered myself to be a guest on her show. Our mutual love for the internet is just one of the many things we have in common. Liz and I both got into podcasting after seeking out creative outlets during quarantine. We were both furloughed last April, we both launched our podcasts in November and we both just accepted new jobs, go us! We’re also both big time Miley Cyrus fans, we love pop music and we really hate cargo shorts. I’m so glad that the internet introduced us and I’m thrilled to share Liz’s story with all of you!

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The Death of Our Egos

Tue, 02 Mar 2021 02:00:00 -0600

You would think Lauren and I would have relatively small egos considering we were both banished to the B-team during volleyball our freshman year of high school, but sometimes you have to bond over being mediocre and well, cheers to that, am I right ladies? Now we’re here recording a podcast about the struggle to establish career goals whilst escaping the chaos of a statewide power outage (Hey, Texas) and the irony of being hit with an ice chunk the size of a microwave along the way.

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Wish Us a Happy Anniversary, Or Else!

Tue, 23 Feb 2021 02:00:00 -0600

Eight years down (you know, give or take) and lots more to go! Today is our anniversary, and normally we’d be out celebrating in another city over a delicious meal at some fancy restaurant, but this year we’re ordering takeout and hanging out at home and we're going to like it god damn it! Even though 2020 was one big fat bummer, I’m so thankful to have spent the majority of it—like practically every waking moment—with my smooch. So, on that note, wish us a happy anniversary, or else!

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Milkshakes and Bad Dates

Tue, 16 Feb 2021 02:00:00 -0600

Molly and I were bound for best friendship the second we realized that we would both be studying abroad in London our junior year. I found our flights, she found her way to O’Hare airport and the rest is history. We planned European adventures over milkshakes, shared stolen beers with a pickpocket, got naked on the top of a mountain and still made it back to Wisconsin in one piece. On today’s episode we reminisce about some of our shenanigans overseas before recounting Molly’s most recent bad dates (picture an electric guitar and a visit from the police) and more, enjoy!

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Not My President

Tue, 09 Feb 2021 02:00:00 -0600

After the absolutely insane four years we just lived through, my best friend Adam and I have collectively decided that it’s time we take our civic duty to the next level and actually educate ourselves on the ins and outs of American politics in hopes of never allowing another egotistical-reality-TV-star-turned-dictator to obtain office ever again. We’re two relatively well-informed, highly opinionated people with a lot to learn and we’re just getting started, join us!

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Thank a Nurse Today

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 02:00:00 -0600

Don’t know any? DM me and I’ll give you my friend Claire’s number cause my girl is putting in work on the frontlines, ok? You owe her! But seriously, my best friend Claire McCarthy is an amazing human and I’m so proud of her for fighting the good fight on our behalf during this absolutely insane year. She’s a caretaker by day and the queen of complaining by night which is why she’s perfect for this pod—well, actually she works the night shift, but you get what I’m saying—and she’s here today to chat about moving across the country in the midst of a global pandemic in order to save lives and frankly, it doesn’t get any more noble than that folks—check it out!

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Big Girl Decisions Are Being Made

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 02:00:00 -0600

Thank god Mikey's apartment flooded junior year or we wouldn't be here recording this podcast together today! In this episode, my wonderful friend Mikey Meyerhofer and I sit down to chat about making big girl decisions—you know, like becoming a dog mom and buying a house—as well as the many, many hilarious mistakes we've made along the way. Join us!

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Hey, Metal Mouth!

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 02:00:00 -0600

If you don't remember me with braces, are we really even friends? I was a metal mouth for longer than probably anyone else ever and now I have four fake teeth that fall out on occasion and deep hatred for my former orthodontist. Are you thinking about getting veneers? Don’t. Are you intrigued? Dive deeper into my dental horrors on this week's episode!

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We Can't Talk Right Now, We're Doing Hot Girl Shit

Tue, 12 Jan 2021 02:00:00 -0600

Sophia and I both moved to Madison, Wisconsin on Friday the 13th when we were 8 years old and we've been inseparable ever since, that is, when you subtract the 4,136 miles that typically exist between us. Today we're taking to the podcast to chat about living abroad, moving in the midst of a pandemic and the grad school grind—hot girl shit!

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Not Another New Year's Resolution

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 02:00:00 -0600

You might be asking yourselves, is this going to be one of those "new year, new me" kind of episodes? And frankly, I'd prefer not to answer that question. You might also be wondering if this a pitch to get you to come on my podcast. Again, I'm not at liberty to say, but what I can tell you is this—I wouldn't even be here recording this if it weren't for my annual half-assed attempt at a New Year's Resolution, so here's to 2021 and all of the good things to come! I'm so glad you're here and I hope you're ready for more, because we're doing the damn thing!

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What Are Your Intentions?

Tue, 29 Dec 2020 02:00:00 -0600

Raise your hand if you’re ready to kiss 2020 goodbye—I know I sure am! I mean seriously, this year was an absolute dumpster fire and I, for one, am welcoming 2021 with open arms. Today James and I are back on the podcast to do some annual intention setting for the upcoming year, so join us and together, we'll manifest all of the good things to come! Or at the very least we can all cross our fingers and hope for the fucking best.

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Sneaking Out and Making Art

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 02:00:00 -0600

You know the saying, “opposites attract?” Well, those words hold true for me and my next guest, Sam Christensen, because he’s about as optimistic as they come, but like, in a good way, I promise! On today’s episode we chat about a few of Sam’s most notable life experiences, from sneaking out of the house in high school to landing a super cool print-making internship in college, and it's safe to say that we could all afford to take a page out Sam's book. Check it out!

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Be Fucking Nice and Tip Your Server

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 02:00:00 -0600

Do you work in the service industry? Do you love it, but like, also absolutely hate it at the same damn time? We feel your pain. Today I have my wonderful friend Adam Kammer on the podcast for a passionate rant about life in the service industry, because as we know, sometimes it's hell and other times you close up early and drinks are on the house!

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Trauma Bonds Us

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 02:00:00 -0600

Today I have my amazing friend Elisia Cintron on the podcast to chat about our humble beginnings working retail at The University Book Store, her (unfortunately short lived) time in the Peace Corps due to that b*tch Miss Rona, and the quarantine hobbies that are keeping us busy. Check it out!

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I Left My Heart at Akira Toki Middle School

Tue, 01 Dec 2020 02:00:00 -0600

Did you learn more about womanhood from the American Girl book ‘The Care and Keeping of You’ than from your own health class? Did you have your heart broken in middle school? Well then this episode is for you! Today one of my very best friends, Zoe Sprout, joins me on the podcast to chat about everything we used to complain about at the age of 12 compared to now at the ripe old age of 24, and honestly, ain’t shit changed.

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These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

Tue, 24 Nov 2020 02:00:00 -0600

Today we dive into the top 5 things I complain about, sourced by my beloved partner James, who could have easily kept the list going but was kind enough to cap it for all of you—here goes nothing!

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A Podcast for Complainers, by Complainers

Tue, 17 Nov 2020 02:00:00 -0600

Welcome to Pessimistic at Best—a podcast for complainers, by complainers, hosted by me, Samantha Georgson. In this episode I introduce myself, share my motivations for starting this silly little podcast, and complain about the state of the world to anyone who will listen, including you. Enjoy!

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