We're ending this season with a sequel of a sequel... and it's also a marriage of our special interests, because not only is it a terrible movie, it stars David Hasselhoff! The best of both worlds!

They have somehow managed to take the plot of Deep Blue Sea, and then the tiniest bit of plot from Anaconda 2 Hunt for the Blood Orchid, and still create a storyline that makes absolutely no sense.

But buckle up, because you've never seen this side of the Hoff before... cigarellos and all.

Oh, and did we mention the snakes are over 60 feet long?

Enjoy Anaconda 3: Offspring! 

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We covered Tall Girl on our Patreon and we loved it so much we decided to cover the sequel as part of this season...

We have Dunkleman, we have Steig, and of course we have our tall heroine Jodie.

This movie gets intense because not only are we dealing with the school musical... we are also dealing with Jodie's psychotic break. The voices in her head are getting louder and louder.

Come with us back to New Orleans to reunite with our favorite Tall Girl!

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We have a hunt for the Blood Orchid and a plan B J. Lo... what could go wrong?

Oh wait, we didn't take into account the anaconda orgy!

Take a trip to Borneo with us and let's see how this plays out.

Enjoy Anaconda 2!

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We imagine this movie is the result of imbibing every illicit substance available and washing it down with some absinthe.

Who knows why they waited a decade to release a sequel and why on earth they made THIS sequel.

We were really rooting for Jamie Kennedy, and it's unfortunate this monstrosity ever crossed his path.

Do you love museums? Norse mythology? Surreal and cartoonish set design? Offensive accents? Neglectful parents? Murderous dogs? An unlikeable main character? Rooting for absolutely no one?

Then Son of the Mask is the movie for you!

Enjoy!

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The Neverending Story is a beloved masterpiece so they thought surely they could recreate the magic...

But they couldn't, unfortunately.

The Neverending Story is a mess from the beginning. Bastian is back, yet again being bullied. He is trying to overcome his fears as well as deal with his dad who is only focused on getting laid...

There's a new villain in Fantasia and she's trying to bring order to the chaos. She has a creepy bird man spy and a memory stealing machine and she's after Atreyu and Bastian on her way to usurp the kingdom from Childlike Empress...

Let's hop on Falcor and fly to Fantasia!

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This movie was a real challenge for many reasons... We both watched it, rewound it, and then rewound it again and used subtitles hoping that that would make it easier to understand but unfortunately, we were wrong.

There is absolutely nothing that would make this movie make sense...

But holy cow did we have a party recording this episode. We were laughing so hard we couldn't breathe (Kolin pretty literally!) and we are still talking about this episode to this day and it will go down in infamy.

Please join us on a journey to the planet Zeist where we witness a sacred lightening ceremony, Sean Connery is resurrected with a pearl earring, time makes no sense, people are sizzled from the ozone layer, and The Shield Corp. is reigning over a dark, dank planet earth longing to see the sunshine.

Enjoy Highlander 2: The Quickening/Renegade Version!

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If you thought Grease was horny - Grease 2 is here to take it to fully hornt.

School is back in session and we have a new cast (with a couple of familiar faces) ready to party. 

We learn all about the protocol to be a Pink Lady or a T-Bird, we have a love triangle with only two people because someone's living a double life, we have an attempted murder no one seems to mind, and of course a giant talent show.

Join us back at Rydell High!

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We love shark movies, what can we say? 

And a great shark sequel?! Sign us up!

Deep Blue Sea waited 19 years to make a sequel and it's because they wanted to reuse the whole plot from the first one...

We're back with Dr. Misty Calhoun, a shark specialist, and Durant - and evil billionaire with lab sharks who is taking an experimental drug...

How do you think this plays out?

Enjoy Deep Blue Sea 2!

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We survived the mess that was All's Fair and we are now emerging like butterflies from the cocoon. 

Season 9 is finally here and we are covering the best of the worst sequels we could find! 

Starting with Jaws 2, the sad attempt at riding the wave of the success of the first one, this movie finds the whole town of Amity absolutely flabbergasted that a shark might be on the hunt - as if they weren't all terrorized by a shark only four years prior!

We are so excited to be back with new movies and can't wait to share them! 

Enjoy Jaws 2!

Don't forget to write a review and share with your friends!

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We have finally (thank god) come to the end of this series...

The law offices are in total disarray, Liberty is about to get married, Carr is plotting murder, and we have lost all traces of Chase and Milan.

We regret  choosing this show, but we don't regret sharing it with all of you.

Enjoy!

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We are gearing up for a new season! This new season we will be covering the best of the worst movie sequels and we can not wait to share them with you - so we are giving you a little preview of what's to come!

Next week we will celebrate the finale of All's Fair (thank God!) and then we will premiere the new season... so get ready!

In the meantime, don't forget we have a Patreon with over 40 full episodes! 

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They've officially lost the plot entirely...

We are no closer to understanding anything and at this point we just can't wait for this whole thing to be over.

The women go to Fashion Week, Dina is somehow suddenly obsessed with adding Carr to the team and we can't figure out why... Carr and Chase start a kinky (but not really) relationship and Allura finally cuts Chase out of her life.

Enjoy!

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Allura is letting go of her marriage with Chase, and he's out to make amends... but he doesn't quite know what that entails.

Dina, on the other hand, is not letting go of Dougie and hangs out with his dead body for an extended period of time.

Carr and Liberty are competing out of nowhere, and then Allura circles back to Chase...

Enjoy!

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The time has come for Allura and Chase to officially divorce - and we get to be a fly on the wall for the entirety of the negotiations...

Carrington and Alberta have a lot of tricks up their respective sleeves to make sure they kick @ss (wasabi handkerchief, anyone?)... but of course Emerald has been digging deep and has the biggest surprise of all. 

It all culminates in Carrington having her biggest breakdown ever (we didn't think they could top the fecal matter bouquet but we were wrong).

As a bonus, Kolin also learns about turtleneck dickies and his whole world is blown wide open...

Enjoy!

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The Law Firm is bustling... and in all the bustle we get a new side of Carrington.

We meet Carrington's daughter, her baby daddy, and her new law partner. We guess they are trying to humanize her, but we aren't sure how successful they are.

Also, Liberty has to sign a prenup, there is the worst, cringiest scene involving hair washing, a DUI and a sensual breathalyzer, and the murder mystery continues...

Join us as it all unfolds!

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We're back with our favorite Girl Boss Baddies!

Every puts on their detective hats for this one - in some cases literally, because Emerald Green is full Carmen Sandiego mode...

Carrington is back all gas and no brakes and ready to burn everyone down as always. 

Enjoy Episode 4 of All's Fair!

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Were back at the by-women for-women law firm we all know and love... 

And things are heating up!

The women are trying to avoid aging and doing their best to fight gravity, but are they wasting their time fighting... other women? 

Jessica Simpson has a memorable stint as a wife who is looking to get her life (and face) back from her gross husband, Milan ditches Chase, Doug gets some bad news, and Allura finds a way towards peace.

Enjoy Episode 3 of All's Fair, I Want Revenge

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Well we're back at this Feminist Law Firm and ready for business!

Allura is gearing up for her contentious divorce and getting a lawyer (surprise! it's Dina!), Carrington still has only vengeance on her mind after ten years, Liberty is doubting her perfect man, and the girls all take a private jet for some much needed retail therapy - with a side of revenge, of course!

And lest we forget - our queen Elizabeth Berkley makes an appearance (albeit a brief one).

Join us for the drama of Episode 2: When We Were Young

Don't forget we are covering 9-1-1 Nashville over on our Patreon, so hop on over there for a new episode EVERY week! 

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We are doing something a little different between seasons this time... we are covering the Hulu Show All's Fair while we prep for a new season of movies!

We were rooting for everyone in this whole debacle - but there's a reason it has 6% on Rotten Tomatoes...

But it makes great podcast content!

So enjoy this little detour through the high fashion, big money, girl power, lady boss world of LA Lawyers.

ENJOY!

And Don't forget we are covering 9-1-1 Nashville on our Patreon!

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We are getting ready to start a new season here on the main feed, and we are so excited for what is coming - but today we are excited to be starting a new series on Patreon and we wanted to share the first episode with you here free so you could hop on the train to Nashville over on Patreon!

Our Patreon is only $5/month and right now there are 25 episodes and exclusive video content for you to binge! You get a new episode every week that's only for Patrons in addition to the weekly episodes released in the public feed, and we get to have some fun and silly conversations over there with all the Nightwatchers... 

9-1-1 Nashville is going to be a wild ride... kind of like when you ride a horse... at a rodeo...

Saddle up!

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We are working hard on next season, but in the meantime, we are finishing up this season of Baywatch Nights on Patreon and we wanted to share this preview with you! This is from Episode 8: Last Breath and trust us when we say this will take your breath away... 

Right now we have 21 full episodes (21 hours!) on Patreon and next week will be number 22 - the final episode of Baywatch Nights - and we are in mourning that it's coming to an end. We have had an absolute blast covering this season on Patreon and we've shared so many laughs...

Enjoy this preview and consider checking us out on Patreon and we will see you back here for another season soon!

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This movie came to us as if by fate... we had not planned on doing it, and had a few other Christmas/Holiday movies in mind, and we were just going to watch this movie for fun.

However, about 10 minutes in we knew we needed to share it with the podcast community because it blew our minds!

Even though it's called Elves, there's only one, and he's more like a goblin. Beyond that there's incest, N*zis, cats, department stores, mom boobs, cartons of cigarettes, libraries (private and public), shootouts, anti-Christmas witches, and more!

Cozy up by the fire and get ready for a wacky journey... it's Dan Haggerty's world folks, and we're just living in it.

Enjoy Elves!

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It's that time of year... Where we honor the Prince of Aldovia and his new love. 

This trilogy is one of our favorites and we haven't revisited it in quite some time so it was like seeing an old friend.

'Tis the season to celebrate our favorite hype queen, secret acorns, and so many snowball fights...

Enjoy this re-edited Episode of A Christmas Prince!

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We were rooting for you, M. Night! We were all rooting for you!

Honestly, we've been in M. Night's corner longer than most people. We really wanted this to be good...

But there is no redemption for this movie other than this podcast episode which we think you will enjoy! For as bad as this movie was, we absolutely had a blast trying to work out the logistics of this beach. But the Mid-Size Sedan mystery will never be solved...

Enjoy a private beach, a lot of exposition, all of the mysteries... and most bizarrely of all - the pharmaceutical company!

It won't ever get OLD to make fun of this movie!

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This was requested multiple times and we can see why! 

A space adventure involving ice, toilets, castration, little ponytails, time warps, and space herpes is bound to be a classic!

This gem was a cocktail of everything that makes a great B-movie... the dialogue was comical, the sets were cardboard and plywood, the costumes looked like leftover items forgotten in the costumes warehouse all thrown together...

So of course we loved it!

So chill out, and enjoy Ice Pirates!

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For some reason this file was just too darn big (we guess we just couldn't stop talking about this insane movie?) so it had to be broken up into two parts!

Here's Part Two of Warriors of Virtue!

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Back with another listener request - and somehow another movie about live action Kangaroo warriors?

Warriors of Virtue was really going for something... but whether or not they achieved it is a different story.

We start with a Kung Fu Kitchen Master and right when you think the story is going in one direction - they karate chop you into another movie! We end up in a fantasy land filled with one of our favorite villains (second only to The Darkness from Legend, obviously), Komodo, who is flamboyantly trying to steal all the Zubrium from the Tao and only Ryan, along with the Warriors of Virtue, can stop him!

And don't ask us about the ending because we're not sure!

Journey with us to Tao, and meet Master Chung and his terrifying Kangaroo Warriors of Virtue!

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If you put all the late 90's and early 2000's disaster movies in a blender... this would be the result. 

A 2 hour and 15 minute mish mash of every bad trope, all the bad dialogue, very faulty science, and very good actors doing a very bad job (or very good actors doing a very bad movie).

It turns out The Core of the earth has stopped spinning (why? just you wait)... and the only way to restart it is to travel there, and detonate bombs - obviously.

Come with us on this journey to the center of the earth (but no, not that movie) as we join Hillary Swank, Stanley Tucci, and Aaron Eckhart on a mission to restart the earth's heart. And maybe, just maybe, you'll find a piece of your own heart along the way... (just kidding you won't)

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We're back with another listener request: Teen Witch!

Another new to us masterpiece that has made us better people. Unlike Miss Serena who is just an absolute force of chaos.

Between all the musical numbers, the sexual fantasies, the rap battles, and the hair... we find Louise and Brad. Just two kids trying to find their way through high school.

Until Louise finds out she's a teen witch and unleashes her powers on the school. 

Teen Witch is an absolute work of art.

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We're back to our regularly scheduled season with another listener request, the 1995 cult classic, Tank Girl!

We had never seen or heard of this movie, believe it or not! And boy were we missing out. This Manic Pixie Tank Girl post apocalyptic fever dream was a revelation...

Between The Rippers, Tank Girl, Jet Girl, Water and Power and and quick stop at Liquid Silver... the well never runs dry.

Join us in the fight for water and don't forget all of your accessories... you will apparently need a ton of them!

Enjoy Tank Girl!

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This season we are doing listener requests, but this is our one exception! In honor of the halloween season we are covering this classic from the 90s...

Join us as we go back to the Croaker Queen Pageant, fishing boats, bangs, boobs and plot holes of this slasher film.

Enjoy your Spooky Season!

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Next up in our season of listener requests is LadyHawke, a fantastical tale of lovers cursed by an evil bishop and bound to spend half their lives as animals at different times... always together, but never together...

Matthew Broderick starts an accent but gives up on it pretty quickly, and Michelle Pfeiffer is beautiful as always despite the haircut. 

Join us on a journey to break the curse, kick the bishop's ass, and reunite the lovers as humans again.

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WE ARE OFFICIALLY BACK for Season 8!

This season we are covering the movies recommended to us by listeners and we are SO excited to share them!

We are opening the season with a real banger: the 1982 cinematic wonderland known as Beastmaster.

If you've ever wondered what a tiger using Loreal would look like, then you're in luck! 

Dar has the mark of glory, and he's on a quest for revenge and greatness... but Rip Torn and his butterface witches are doing their best to keep that from happening.

But Dar has a secret weapon: He can talk to animals with his mental windchime.

Join us, along with Dar and his gang of animals to the booby trapped pyramid to save the sexy slave, reign in glory, end his revenge era and elevate both the animal and human kingdoms... but NEVER - and we repeat - NEVER wear a shirt!

Become a BEASTMASTER!

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The Black and White Affair was a bust... but can they redeem themselves with the Bonfire?

Kristin and Jessica are cooking dinner for the boys, LC is still silently pining after Stephen... and Morgan and Christina are getting big news (although it's not good news for Morgan).

Come join us for Laguna Beach! Make sure to follow the whole season on our other podcast feed, Rewatch Does Reality!

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It's here! We are starting our side quest: Rewatch Does Reality!

There are shows we never got the privilege of watching because we didn't have cable... it might be 20 years too late, but better late than never! 

Join us as we meet LC, Kristin, Lo, Christina, Morgan, Talon, Stephen and Trey for the first time, and get to know this crazy bunch of kids!

Follow the rest of the season at the new podcast feed here at:

 Rewatch Does Reality!

Let's Party at Laguna Beach!

Join us on Patreon for EXCLUSIVE content, currently we are covering Baywatch Nights!

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We are up to some fun and we wanted to tell you all about it! This is just a little chatty episode to update you on everything we have in store! 

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Someone's doing experiments and they are getting out of hand, but have no fear, Mitch and Diamont and Ryan are on the case, with a little help from Griff (emphasis on "little").

Enjoy Episode 2, and remember that after this episode, you will be able to find the rest of our Baywatch Nights coverage on our Patreon weekly! 

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We have a couple new things coming down the pipeline... and this is one of them! 

You might not have heard that there was a short-lived series called Baywatch Nights... Wherein Mitch becomes a night detective! 

However, even LESSER known, is that the second season of Baywatch Nights leaned into the X-Files vibes in order to improve ratings...

But, surprisingly, it didn't work.

However, when we found out about this, we jumped on this midnight train faster than you could say Hasselhoff!

We're giving you a preview of these episodes here in the main feed, but the rest of the season will be on Patreon! 

And keep your eyes peeled...because we have another surprise coming up before our next season of movies starts!

Find the rest of Baywatch Nights on our Patreon!

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Well, we left Twilight, but we couldn't leave it alone...

We are about to come back with an ALL NEW season, so stay tuned!

But - we recorded an extra little treat for you in between with a friend of the podcast!

We talk about our favorite Twilight memories, we theorize about lore, we ask the hard questions, we get creative, and we fondly remember the Twilight series before we officially move on. 

Always remember, Never Forget. 

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Oh Geez... We can't believe we've spent this many hours of our lives talking about Twilight, but now we are a little sad it's all coming to a close...

Renesmee has been born and is the scariest nightmare baby - but she's well loved - because when the Volturi come, she's got a whole army behind her. 

Come with us on the International Tour of Vamps as we meet Vamps from all over the world as they congregate in Forks to... be... witnesses? But also maybe fight?

Renesmee is the savior baby who brings a global and multicultural event into fruition and while it's confusing to us, we respect it. It's Vamp rules. Mount Up.

Come with us as the sun goes down on Breaking Dawn Part 2...

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Like Bella at the end of this movie... we were down, but we weren't out!

We have revived to bring you the next episode in the Twilight Saga... the Penultimate Movie in the series.

This movie sees Bella and Edward FINALLY getting hitched and able to fully act on their lustful thoughts... at least for a moment.

Come with us to a wedding for the cousin drama, strange toasts, and big vamp energy... and stay for the worst honeymoon imaginable! 

We are coming close to the end of these movies and it's starting to feel like we've never known a time when we weren't talking about the Twilight Universe...

Open your eyes and look at the sun, because Dawn is Breaking! 

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We apologize again for the delay in getting to the final two movies in the Twilight Series... It's been a rough couple of weeks.

Luckily, we had this unreleased episode in the wings just waiting for its time to shine! 

This is one of our "One of Us Watches a Movie and Tells the Other One the Plot" episodes. We recorded it a while back but never released it because it never felt like the right time... Until now.

And let us just say - Moonfall the movie is about something different than what Kolin thinks Moonfall the movie is about, but either way, the actual movie is a disaster and this episode honors that disaster in its own way.

Please join us on a journey that's out of this world, as we fall in love with Moonfall.

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We had a death in the family, and so we are unable to release a new episode in the Twilight Series this week...

But we are re-releasing a newly edited and remastered episode of our coverage of Alone in the Dark!

This episode was an experiment at the time... Kolin couldn't find Alone in the Dark streaming overseas, and so Kaydence decided to just tell him what the movie was about... and it resulted in an absolutely bonkers episode that became one of our favorites.

This movie is awful, but this episode is a joy. 

Don't worry, you're not Alone in the Dark, because we're right there with you in the dark of this plot.

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We did it! 

We only have one episode dedicated to Eclipse and we avoided having to break it up into two parts. We considered it a victory to whittle down this grotesquely long movie into just one episode... But even at 90 minutes we still didn't have time to include the half dozen flashbacks with the detailed backstories of each character in the Cullen Clan... But we think you'll live.

Things get crazy in Eclipse. Jacob professes his love (again), Bella tries to seduce Edward (but he's old fashioned), Victoria is heading up and army of newborn Vamps out of Seattle but still finding time to commute to Forks, and Edward won't stop proposing to Bella. Just what will happen?!

Join us for this Total Eclipse of the Heart.

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Well, no matter how much we make fun of these movies, we just can't stop yapping about them, so the joke's on us. 

This week we bring you the second half of New Moon.

This half covers Jacob's full Werewolf transformation, Edward's trip to Italy, Bella's adrenaline rushing, Victoria's casual part time hunting, shirtless boys, and scarred fiancees... and lots and lots of rain.

Sit, back, relax, and join us while we howl at this New Moon... again?

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It happened again... We went into this episode thinking we would cover the whole thing in one go... but d*mn you, Stephanie Meyers! You and your complex stories and characters! Argh! 

Because we find ourselves again breaking this movie into 2 parts. 

In New Moon we learn about the Volturi, and the nonsensical vampire laws... we hear how much Edward loves Bella and how much he would die without her for ten straight minutes until he wakes up one day and abandons her... we learn about how much Alice has been DREAMING about throwing Bella a birthday party... and we also see the transformation of Jacob, because he's now hulked out.

We hope you'll be howling at New Moon Part 1. Get it? Cause Werewolves...?

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Last week it turned out that Twilight was just too deep and too intense to cover in just one episode, despite our best intentions...

So we are back this week with Part 2! 

Night Baseball! Fur Coats! Italian Dinners! Ruling the School! And many Tree Top Adventures await you in part 2 of Twilight!

Will Bella and Edward end up together despite their endless back and and forth? Will the rogue vampires find Bella and decide they are obsessed with her like everyone else? Will Rosalie keep wearing her bedazzled stilettos?

Get all this answers in this week's episode: Twilight Part 2!

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We've got a real treat for all of you before we come back for a full season: 

We are covering the Twilight series!

We thought it was a trilogy, and then found out it had five movies, so yay? And secondly, we were covering the first movie, and we intended to do it all at once, but it turns out it's a long movie, and we had a lot to say, so this is only part 1 of the first movie. 

So enjoy the cliffhanger and we will be back next week with part 2! Will Bella find out Edward is a vampire? Will she tell him? Will they fall in love? Will we find out more about her pet cactus? Will Jacob get a haircut? Will she keep being the clumsiest klutz of all klutzes?

Find out SOME of the answers in:  Twilight, Part 1!

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Alright, so the final re-release of the in B-tween season time (get it?) is Freshwater!

We did a whole season of creature features, as they are probably our favorite genre of movie... and even though we have some true masterpieces in that season (Sabretooth, Snowbeast, Sand Sharks, etc...), Freshwater came to the top of the list for us.

A drunk gator expert, a sex house island, an albino alligator, a sassy grandma, and a sheriff who just wants to retire, dammit! Oh, and the wooden beach road, of course.

With a special appearance from the magpies stalking Kolin.

We still quote Brenda the Alligator Expert to this day, and we hope she finds a home in your heart like she did in ours.

Enjoy this re-edited and re-freshed Freshwater!

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Let us tell you a tale...

Once upon a time, there was a film that caused Kolin to fall down a deep, dark, hole of madness and fury... He hit rock bottom that day. And he's never been the same again. 

That movie was Face/Off

And just like the main characters of this movie, he emerged a different person.

Today we are revisiting that journey with a newly refreshed, Face/Off episode. 

We will keep an eye on Kolin though, because this might trigger him. 

Join us for a fresh-faced FACE/OFF

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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This week we are revisiting an episode of Kolin's choice...

It's the story of a cat...within a cat... but the cat within the cat is a demon cat... we think?

It's the least efficient creature to prey on people, and they aimed really high, but we're not sure it was a homerun. 

Come with us for the code red, runaway cat, college kids on spring break, a rich guy with a yacht trying to outrun the SEC, a captain trying to earn her boat back, and a couple of henchmen on the side... Oh wait - we can't forget the sex. Or the idea of it.

We formally invite you to join us while we revisit Uninvited!

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Last week we re-released listener favorite, Hell Comes to FrogTown...

This week, Kaydence chose her favorite episode (well,  definitely in the top three, it's so hard to choose!):

BATTLEFIELD EARTH

This episode still makes us cry laughing, and it will always bring us joy. 

We originally recorded this for Kaydence's birthday a couple of years ago... but really, the Battlefield Earth Episode is the gift that keeps on giving...

Join us in the world of Psychlos, Man-Animals, Skull-Bones, and Picto-Cams for this Crap-Lousy masterpiece. 

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While we are in B-tween (get it?) seasons, we are revisiting (and re-editing) some of our favorite episodes... 

Hell Comes to Frogtown is a listener favorite. It's by far our most downloaded episode and it's easy to see (hear?) why. The movie itself is wild, and things get silly as we try to figure out the logistics of Human/Frog Reproduction. 

Beautiful Burlesque Frogs, Sexy Nurses, Sam Hell, and Commander Toady are just some of the characters you will meet... in Frogtown.

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This was a movie that scared parents and children equally... 

When the country was in the grips of the Satanic Panic, some groups tried to make us believe that games like Dungeons and Dragons would actually infect the brains of the youths and cause permanent insanity because they render the players unable to delineate the game from reality and players will ultimately descend into madness!

Tom Hanks stars in this extending PSA warning us of the dangers of world-building games...

1982 was a confusing time for us all...

Join us as Kaydence walks Kolin through the plot of Mazes and Monsters!

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We picked Willow for this week, and right after we finished recording, it was announced that Val Kilmer had passed... We are so sad, we loved him so much, and we are so happy we were able to revisit this Val Kilmer classic at a serendipitous time. May you rest in peace, Madmartigan.

Willow is an 80s fantasy adventure in the theme of movies that scared us as children... the baby sacrificing, the army turned to pigs, the devil dogs, and more... Join us as we cover Willow.

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This was requested for our current season because of the lasting nightmares caused by the ghost of Large Marge for many children of the 80s...

We didn't know what to expect, but we loved Pee Wee and his big adventure! This movie has it all -- contraptions, hitchhiking, bike thieves, psychics, ghost truckers, rodeos, creepy medical clowns, and The Alamo!

And best of all - NO bullies! 

Join us for Pee Wee's Big Adventure!

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Because we are doing a season of the movies that scared the sh*t out of us as kids, we have re-edited our Return to Oz Episode to re-lease it as part of this season, since it fits right in! 

This version of Oz is absolute Nightmare Fuel, but we guess we also got Bellina out of it, so it's not all bad! 

Join us for a headless Queen, a Gay King who loves snacks and game night, an existential crisis, a pumpkin head who just wants a mother, and Tick Tock, the least practical protector ever created... 

And of course, Dorothy, who is just trying to keep her little baby brain from being shocked out of her head!

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The Peanut Butter Solution has no solution... There isn't even an equation. There are a dozen different story lines and we never really get a clear picture of any of them...

Michael has had a fright and is dealing with a devastating case of baldness, Connie is out of control in every way, and Suze is just desperately trying to keep her family together! 

That doesn't even cover the art teacher stealing people's identities, the paintbrushes made out of human hair, and the ghosts of the "winos" wandering around...

Come with us on yet another journey through childhood trauma...

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If you've ever wondered what it would like to see your nightmares put to film... wonder no more. 

The Garbage Pail Kids has it all: a kid with no home, a sweat shop, space garbage, grown ups bullying children, fashion shows, full size dolls come to life, music, and a mysterious worldly captain, a bar fight, and every single gross bodily function!

The Garbage Pail Kids was like a visit to another terrifying dimension and we had fun for every single minute of it. 

The nightmares are totally worth it.

Also, Mandie is joining us again for this one!

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In this beautiful world of imagination, we go on an adventure unlike any other.

We LOVE this movie, but two things can be true at the same time: it's magnificent, AND parts of it traumatized us when we were little. It was a lot to process for our little minds!

We had a blast doing this episode with our friend, Mandie! 

Join us in Fantasia!

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* Intro Ends and Recap begins at 4:26 *

This season we continue our journey through the movies that scared the sh*t out of us in our childhood... today we are talking about a sassy villain (second only to the gnome QUEEN in Return to Oz), a magical forest, a unicorn horn, a h*rny fairy, and a young couple who are supposed to be in love we guess...

Starring the babiest Tom Cruise and Mia Sara, along with the fiercest Tim Curry as The Big D - come with us on a journey through... LEGEND!

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Wowee Zowee

When a follower recommended we do the sequel to this movie, we realized we had never even seen the first one, so we are covering that one first. 

Magic in the Mirror is an absolutely bonker balls tale of people sized ducks, marital problems, family dynamics, boiling people, physicists, dumb botanists, and a doppleganger.

Join us for our first time watching Magic in the Mirror! 

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* Intro ends and the movie discussion starts at 3:55 *

We took a little Holiday break and now we are BACK for SEASON 7! 

There was a time when kids movies were... Intense. 

Maybe more intense than our little brains were ready for. 

We are dedicating this season to all the movies that gave us nightmares as children... And we're working through our complicated feelings.

Come with us, it's a safe space, and we will hold your hand through this landscape of childhood scaries!

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It's almost here! 

Our new season is right around the corner... and we're asking you to revisit the movies that left their marks on your child psyche... 

You know the ones: Magic in the Mirror, The Last Unicorn, Return to Oz, The Witches... etc... The movies that were somehow marketed for children but became the authors of our collective nightmares.

Get ready to process all those feelings!

Starting in February!

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We've kept you in suspense long enough... It's time for Part 2 of The Boy Next Door, the final movie in our Jennifer Lopez trilogy. 

Noah has officially cracked, and two grown ass women concoct a kookie plan to wrangle a psycho! 

Come to our stalker basement and enjoy the finale of The Boy Next Door...

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As we promised, we are bringing our Jennifer Lopez trilogy to an end... We are covering The Boy Next Door in two parts. 

We're pretty sure AI wrote this script, or maybe it was someone's first draft that got greenlit before it could be finished.

Did we mean to do that? Not  necessarily... but we think the suspense will have you on the edge of your seat as you count down the days until next week's episode brings you the conclusion of this thriller. 

Enjoy The Boy Next Door, Pt. 1

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Part 2 in our Jennifer Lopez trilogy is the documentary that accompanied that Movie Musical Extravaganza we covered last week...

We applaud Jennifer's drive and her work ethic, but we also just want to give her a hug. 

Enjoy The Greatest Love Story Never Told... that got told... in this documentary.

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We are here in the in-between season time to bring you the promised holy trilogy.

The first of which is the Jennifer Lopez Movie Musical Extravaganza: 

This is Me... Now

We've watched this multiple times, so ultimately, the joke is on us.

Stay tuned for our recap of the accompanying documentary...

Also, this was supposed to be a mini-sode, but let's face it, we are incapable of that. Somehow we made a 50 minute Movie Musical Extravaganza into over an hour...

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Season 6 officially comes to a close with an epic tale of Greece, wobbly legs, friendship, genius, and bat babies... 

We really ended with a bang for this one. Jared Leto leads this tiny flying mammal journey... He might be a genius, but he's snarky as hell and it gets old really quick. 

However you feel about Jared Leto, this is an episode worth listening to, because just like Morbius couldn't make enough CGI bats, we had so much material we couldn't make enough jokes! 

Use your best bat ears, and echolocate your way to this episode of B-Watch Rewatch. 

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Before Ryan Reynolds was the beloved Deadpool, he was the Green Lantern! We could argue about who is the superior hero, but we wouldn't need to, because we'd be on the same side! It's Clearly Hal Jordan, AKA The Green Lantern.

Between all the unresolved Father issues the men in this movie are dealing with, we learn a lot about the colors green and yellow, pilots of all kinds, and Taika Waititi is a very under-utilized and poorly developed comedic sidekick.

Enjoy!

*This episode has a few funky moments with the audio, but they pass*

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What the HEX is this movie?! If ever there was a romantic counterpart to our favorite red leather lady Elektra, Jonah would be him. Kinda has a power, kinda is trained, is very very stoic, and has a vague connection with another culture.  

Let us not forget, Megan Fox is the rag tag sex worker with gorgeous penmanship, shooting skills, and the tiniest corset you ever saw. 

Oh! and the President just absolutely loves planning parties! 

Jump on your horse and let's ride!


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We do you get when you cross a space storm, a group of college friends, and a venture capitalist? 

The Fantastic Four! 

Jessica Alba is in her "Tara Reid in Alone in the Dark" era as the Head of Genetic Research, and with a name like Von Doom we just couldn't quite figure out who the bad guy was... 

And there's a special appearance by the worst fiancee in any movie ever!

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Dearest Listener:

This week, we bring to you: ELEKTRA. A camp in the woods, kids with no parents, repressed rage, clunky weaponry, lots of wind machines, and even more red leather...

It's a rough one, but keep paddling, it will be worth it.

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Cat Nip! Face Cream! Toxic Waterfalls! Cat Magic! Bedazzles! Bad Haircuts! Remixes! Tuna!

This movie has everything but a coherent plot.... and we loved every single minute of it. 

There are very few words for a movie that manages to absolutely squander one of the most beautiful women in the world, but we found all the words we needed for one of our new favorite movies.

Somehow Catwoman managed to embarrass US while we watched it. But the good news is -- we cringed so you didn't have to! We did you a favor! 

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In 1997, Spawn came into being... and let us tell you... for being the Spawn of the Devil, it's not the most convenient arrangement... 

And don't even get us started on The Violater. 

Join us in hell for Devil Dogs, Demon Clowns, Tarantulas, Biological Warfare, Gravelly Voices, and most importantly -- WANDA!


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We are taking a trip back in time... 

To an era where spray painting some Styrofoam and adding a lots of little lights, glitter, and nipples made a little Batman magic...

Poison Ivy is trying to plant some poisonous kisses, Mr. Freeze is has puns for days, and Robin is trying to help, but he's more trouble than he's worth...

Not to mention Barbara!

Join us Gotham for a ride in the Batmobile! 

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WE'RE BACK! Season 6 has officially begun and it's the season of the SUPERHERO! This season we have chosen all the best movies inspired by comics, and the (supposedly) heroic characters contained within their pages.

But it might not be the kind of hero you're picturing... These are all the best (worst) hero movies we could find! Not quite blockbusters, but treasures in an of the themselves. 

I guess you could say they became the heroes of our hearts...

Episode ONE of Season Six is Barb Wire! Played by the incomparable Pamela Anderson, we are in a post-apocalyptic world where everything is industrial, and she's just trying to get paid in Canadian dollars, darn it! Enjoy!

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Are you attracted to amphibian burlesque dancers? Do you know the dance of the six snakes? Have you ever wondered what would happen if the world's most sexually prolific man was locked into an explosive chastity belt? All of those questions and more are answered in today's episode: Hell Comes to Frogtown!

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What happens when you reboot a stylish 70's show with one of the most emotional actresses of the 90's?

Well, a very tonally confused action comedy! 

This week we join the Mod Squad in a tale of going undercover, crooked cops, father figures, and the most obvious bad guy who's ever been put to film. 

Put on your aviators, because we're going for a ride.

But we aren't allowed to carry weapons, so we only have our wits!

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The magic of Burlesque has graced our lives and we are blessed to be able to share it with you, too. 

Xtina finding her life's work after one day of job hunting in LA? A bartender, who is a MAN? Who wears EYELINER?! 

And of course, Cher, the savviest business woman around! Without her, who would make paper airplanes out of all the late notices from the bank?

But don't mess with her... because she'll put you to the test with - the WAGON WHEEL WATUSI!

Join us as we put on our fishnets and do our best lip-synching... Welcome to Burlesque

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We are BACK with Season FIVE! We are starting this season by traveling back in time to a place where movies made for children were also fuel for nightmares! Return to Oz is a wild and scary ride, even as a fully grown and well adjusted adult. Join us and the Gump as we all experience an existential crisis together. What is this movie and what is this life?

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This week it's Kolin's turn to attempt to explain the plot of a movie Kaydence has never seen. The Uninvited. About a mutant cat inside a cat with it's own inexplicable moral code. Should be easy enough, right? Right?

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Today we are digging in to the gold mine that is Alone in the Dark. 

You know the one: Christian Slater, Tara Reid, and ancient relics.  

This week we try a different approach to telling the story...  And it was absolutely bonkerballs. Come with us into the Dark (but you won't be alone!)

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Are we surprised to see John Travolta on this list once again? No. We can't say we are. 

But we ARE surprised this movie ever got made. 

Fred Durst has created a wonderland of imagination for us, so sit back and close your eyes... and visualize coming with us to Hollywood Boulevard, where a man named Moose is just trying to live his dream...

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** We work hard to bring you the laughs, and we don't have any commercials, so if you are able, we would appreciate your support! We will happily give you a shout out! **

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Bees! Mysterious Island! Honey! Nice Cage! Forest wandering! Missing child! Beehives! This week is Wicker Man, which has us buzzing with laughter (get it?! BEES)!

Join us for this long walk through Summer's Isle, while wearing bear costume... but watch out for beehives and plot holes - because there are plenty of both!

Please enjoy this cinematic classic with us, because it's golden (get it? Gold like honey?!). 

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Gigli. We hate this movie with the fire of a thousand suns. 

It's offensive to women, to LGBT folk, to the mentally disabled, and even, believe it or not, Mobsters.

And let's not even talk about the parade of characters who come and go with no explanation.

Please, sit back and warm yourselves with the fire of our anger as we cover this classic!

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Do you like swimming? Do you like swimming in pools, salt water... 

or... Freshwater? 

It's a real doozy. We laughed until we cried, and for good reason. 

This movie has it all: bubble blowing gators, drunk gator experts, rich kids in trucks, retired sheriffs, and grandma's who DGAF. 

So let's raise a glass...

To the albino alligators and the chaos they bring with them.

Come swim in FRESHWATER

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If you were going to clone human organs to save millions of lives... What would YOUR first step be? You might think you know the answer... But trust us, it's not that. 

Also, there's a whole side plot of people completely unprepared for backpacking in the mountains, because all they brought was candy and liquor.

Enjoy this romp through the Sierra Nevada mountains! 

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SNOWBEAST is the heart pumping tale of a sassy Yeti... We leave with more questions than answers, but the questions are worth asking... We think? 

All we know for sure is that this Yeti hates snowmobiles, loves slapping people, and has a beautifully designed snow home.

Put on your widest brimmed hat and come join us in the snowy mountains to gather some data and search for kids who went missing on spring break to start new lives while we keep our eyes peeled for SNOWBEAST!

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It's finally here! Season 4! 

This season we are going back to our roots, and re-visiting all of the movies we know and love. The real gems. The SciFi movies we stayed up late to watch... Bad CGI, scripts that make no sense, unexpected stars, etc...

Sand Sharks features one of those unexpected stars in the incomparable Brooke Hogan... Buckle up for lots of tests and tiny magnifying glasses! 

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Alright folks, we've reached the end of the magnificent trilogy... And it's a bit like they threw all the plots they could think of into a blender and then added the birth of a baby to the top! Join us as we experience impending war, blizzards, car wrecks, financial fraud, tech implementation, and the birth of a little baby royal reporter!

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Amber's back with a blog and some bling as she prepares to marry Prince Richard. But first -- can she save Aldovia from an economic downfall?! Join us as we learn all about royal protocol!

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This week we begin our coverage of the Holy Trinity: the Christmas Prince movies on Netflix. 
Come with us to Aldovia to celebrate jellied meats, Christmas corndogs, and a queen who knows how to get any party started! 

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We are going to explore some wild facts and trivia while giving thanks for the movies we have covered so far this season! 

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