You Didn't Ask For This

147 | Is Miss Piggy in Retrograde?

Thu, 27 Aug 2026 05:00:00 -0400

A YDAFT Giant spams the Thoughtline with questions on Toy Story's Bullseye, the Muppets, and inanimate object matrimony. Then Matt wraps things up with the debut of a new closing segment: Bit Crit.

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Submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

You can also leave us a voicemail on The Thoughtline at (410) 929-5329 and we might just play it on the show!

146 | The Straight of Samus

Thu, 13 Aug 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Look out! A new Definitive Ranking approaches! That's right: Definitive Ranking makes its triumphant return as we rank the original Super Smash Bros lineup based on actual lethality. But first: How many people do you have to have in your secret society for it to actually be considered a secret society and not just a group of friends?

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145 | The Bitch is Back

Thu, 30 Jul 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Matt makes his triumphant return to the pod just in time to check in with YDAFT Bingo. Then: In the Toy Story universe, how come Bullseye (Woody’s horse) is treated like an actual animal? Meanwhile, the other animal toys like Hamm, Slinky, and Rex are treated like fully sapient beings?

Finally, we close things out with some listener-demanded local legends.

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The Best of Episodes 71-80

Thu, 16 Jul 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Before Matt makes his triumphant return, allow him to pack you up in the podcast stroller and amble down memory lane. Here are some of our best-loved bits from episodes 71-80.

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144 | Gatorcaine

Thu, 02 Jul 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Zacky D, the interim co-host for you and me, returns to fill in Matt's spot under the shady tree that is Eric's lanky body...but Matt isn't entirely absent this time. This episode marks the return of Hidden Objectives, this time provided for Poch and Zack by none other than Mr. Shea himself. Also, that weird ghost in the machine seems to still be around. Weird.

Question-wise, Eric and Zack tackle the following: what's your murder preference as a victim? You two are buying a dog together...annnnd go.

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143 | Burner Friends

Thu, 18 Jun 2026 05:00:00 -0400

While Matt takes a sabbatical to learn how to parent, Poch is joined by none other than the illustrious Zack Deuce (The Neatcast, Podcasters Assemble). Together they answer:

What is the most unethical (but non-violent) thing you can do with a pencil? And if two psychics read each other’s minds at the same time, whose thought counts as the original thought? Also: What would you do if you saw an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

The two then "honor" Matt by predicting the name of his child.

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142 | F-ck Boy Out, Farm Boy In

Thu, 04 Jun 2026 05:00:00 -0400

This week we tackle a 'compound question' from the Discord. A three-part adventure, if you will. Can a Vampire Policeman enter my house if they have a warrant? If you had to set a trap for your co-host, what would you use as bait to guarantee they fall for it? And can the plot leading up to the vampire becoming a policeman and what the warrant is for be explained, as well as the preceding situation leading up to needing a co-host trap?

Then Eric has a special closing segment for Matt as he departs for his sabbatical.

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141 | Thirsty Thurston

Thu, 21 May 2026 05:00:00 -0400

How long is someone allowed to cough in a movie theater before you get someone to kick them out? Then: Lost in the Sauce....what sauce?

To close this one out, we warm up our Definitive Ranking muscles with a mini-ranking of the Danish Butter Cookies. You know the ones.

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140 | Nature's Balloon

Thu, 07 May 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Earth Day was two weeks ago, but that doesn't stop us from dedicating an entire episode to Mother Gaia (okay, mostly dedicated to Mother Gaia). We forego a closing segment to answer three new questions: What is the National Anthem of the Internet? How can I get The Youth to get excited about balloon release alternatives? And what do the trees in the park gossip about?

"Chocolate Rain" Original Song by Tay Zonday, used in accordance with its Creative Commons license.

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139 | The Tether Keeps Us Humble

Thu, 23 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Is a hose a cord? At what point can someone officially consider themselves "World Renowned/World Famous"?

It's our first episode under new branding and the Squonk demands a sacrifice...so it's time for Hidden Objectives II.

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138 | The Abe Lincoln Stunt Spectacular

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Why do we have to “get down to brass tacks?” What happens if brass tacks aren’t enough? What would we upgrade to? And how can we class up our euphamisms for using the bathroom?

Those answers await before Eric quizzes Matt on his knowledge of hobbies.

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137 | A NIMBY in the Cat Revolution

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

On this episode, we answer:

What would happen if humans had a “low battery” warning — what would it look or sound like?
Can beggers ever be choosers?

Then we return to the dark and mysterious halls governed by The Council of Matts in a special Circleback/Follow-up.

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136 | The Seuss Hat Redemption

Thu, 12 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Our questions this week:

When does a guess become a guesstimate?
You know that expression of incredulity, “if that’s true, I’ll eat my hat?” If you said this and then the thing turned out to be true, which of your hats would you choose to eat, and how would you prepare it for consumption?

Then, Eric provides Matt with yet another new closing segment: No Context. It's got some visual aids, so check out the Instagram for the full experience.

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135 | The Godfather of Ska

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0500

What are the worst/next best ways to sign an email instead of "sincerely", "best", etc? We provide some spicier sign-offs for your next work email before answering an age-old question: what are the subjects of Mambos 1-4?

Then, Eric's got a Pop Quiz for Matt: Baby or Bathwater?

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134 | Snack on the Sillies

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0500

Uh oh: ya boys are out here bending the limits of the podcasting medium again. In this episode, the closing segment begins at the same time as the cold open as we debut a new episode-long game: Hidden Objectives.

But don't worry, we've got questions for you as well: What should we say to people when they have the hiccups? And at what point does a snack become a meal, legally speaking?

And, oh yeah: Matt shares a very special announcement.

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133 | The Fainting Conch

Thu, 29 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0500

If time travel is ever invented, what is the first prank that you would pull on someone from the past? What secrets should innocent-looking animals hold to keep us humans on our toes? Then we share two very different local legends.

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132 | Put it in the Bagging Area

Thu, 15 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0500

It's the classic conundrum: you're in witness protection...but you're also in love. When do you spill the beans to your lover? Then, how does one address an elephant in a room?

We close things out today with a new game from Poch: Drugeons and Dragons! (It's a Pop Quiz)

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131 | Sweet Six-Sovereignteen

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0500

It's the Bingosode! We go through our selections for the year while saying goodbye to one particular tradition. What can we say? You kill and you learn.

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130 | I Don't Feel Like a Holly Jolly Boy

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 05:00:00 -0500

The Christmas episode is here! Matt and Eric have to contend with a curse plaguing the episode when they get a little too close to the truth about the location of Santa's workshop. Then: a very special JINGLE GRIPES!

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129 | Scooters Out, Ostriches In

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 05:00:00 -0500

After a best-of break, we're back with these bangers:

How does one become "a regular" somewhere?
If you could replace all pigeons with one other animal that serves the same “city animal” role, what would it be and why?

Then, Matt introduces a spin-off of "Pop Quiz."

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The Best of Episodes 61-70

Thu, 20 Nov 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Ya boys have been sick, so instead of hearing our nasty, congested voices, you get a trip down memory lane! We've collected some highlights from Episodes 61-70 (that's half the pod ago!) while we recover to bring you a brand-new episode in two weeks time.

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128 | Glizzy or Isn't He?

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 05:00:00 -0500

When you tell someone they’re “too much”, what are they “too much” of?
What makes a grin a shit-eating grin? After we answer these classic quandaries, we move on to some circle-back/follow-ups, including two #PochPrompts from recent episodes: Noodlescopes and Glizzy edification.

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127 | Nudity Ruins Movies

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 05:00:00 -0400

The spookisode is finally here, and we've got a very special treat for all you ghouls and ghosts: Halloween Google Gripes! That's right, a first-ever standalone Gripes where we go head-to-head on six Halloween movies.

But first: What's an acceptable Candy Tax to implement on your kids post Trick-or-Treating? And can you reuse a Halloween costume for multiple parties in a year?

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126 | Mythical Mischief

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 11:00:00 -0400

For 126 we've cut our closing segment in favor of clearing out some of our question backlog! On the docket for this ep are:

We all "use our noodle"...but what kind of noodle is it?
When you hear someone mention the “Muffin Man,” do you picture a human offering muffins… or do you picture a muffin with the face of a man?
Do Mermaids have buttholes and how do they poop?
What’s the ideal rapture?

That's right: FOUR of life's least-pressing questions for you to enjoy.

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125 | Ibprofriend

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -0400

What is the platonic version of the sex euphemism “getting some vitamin D”? Matt and Eric break that down this week before diving into a host of personal questions you've submitted...which almost brought this episode into Oops, All Tangents territory.

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124 | Felonious Gulls

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -0400

How many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you got suspicious someone was putting them there? We dive into this question sourced from a TikTok comment section before tackling: If Boy Scouts had cookies, what would their names be? Finally, Eric wraps things up with a Burning Man Pop Quiz for Matt.

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123 | Dumped at the Bubba Gump

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0400

After 120 episodes, the unlikeliest of segments to make a return does just that: Unlikely Fights. Who wins: every creature in Australia or every Florida Man? But first: What’s the ultimate field trip experience? Finally, we wrap things up with a special visit to Lindsey's Correction Corner.

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122 | Nothing Up My 501(c)(3)

Thu, 14 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0400

It's a question as confounding as it is simple: Why rubber ducks? We tackle this vague quandary before diving into what other times can join "island time," and what the world would be like if farts were visible. Then, Matt treats Eric to a tasty new Pop Quiz.

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121 | Jimmy Nut and Tommy Cock

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0400

On the docket this week: The teddy bear is named after Teddy Roosevelt. What other stuffed animals should be named after Presidents? What is the “secret chord”? The one that David played, and it pleased the Lord? What bit would you etch on the bit?

Then: the season finale of Google Gripes!

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120 | After Sex Pop Tart

Thu, 17 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Since we're halfway through the year, it's time to check in on those YDAFT Bingo Cards. The boys see who is in the lead among the fan submissions, as well as check their own progress and provide a list of the squares we've marked off thus far.

Then: What is the best pop-tart filling? Do you prefer frosted or naked? And what is our era’s Library of Alexandria?

Finally, we kick off the final round of this season of Google Gripes.

Matt's Star Trek voice memos for Poch will be released tomorrow, 7/18, for all Patreon members!

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119 | The Eric Ultimatum

Thu, 03 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0400

You've heard his questions. Now...hear from the Dairy King himself. Eric D'Errico is on the show! Eric D. shares how he became lactose royalty and hits us with some of his top-notch quandries, such as: "If you had to legally marry a sandwich, what sandwich would you choose?"

But wait, there's more! For the first time, our guest has brought us a game of their own...

Looking for Matt's Survivor Guide? Look no further!

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118 | A Poor Man's Harrison Ford

Thu, 19 Jun 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Greetings, sociopaths! In this episode, we explore some helpful tips for your next trip before we tackle one of the most pivotal questions facing society today: while you may have That Dog in you...what kind of dog is it? Then it's on to Google Gripes for the conclusion of round two.

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117 | Chock Full of Dicks

Thu, 05 Jun 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Sometimes a question is so specific...that it takes us a whole episode. Such was the case of building a baseball team from non-baseball-playing movie characters. Then: Google Gripes round two begins!

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116 | A Load-Bearing Fan

Thu, 22 May 2025 05:00:00 -0400

At long last, the First Knight of YDAFT has arrived at court. Sir Juniper is here! She brings with her a banquet of her typically A+ questions such as: How would you design a ghillie suit that gives camouflage in an urban setting What would be your Looney Tunes-esque genus and species name? What non-animal adornments for big ostentatious hats should come into fashion?
And why do we say sleep like a baby if babies are not known for sleeping well?

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115 | Raw, Primal Imaginarium

Thu, 08 May 2025 05:00:00 -0400

For generations, professors and philosophers have debated the possible solutions to "The Trolly Problem." Now, finally, blissfully...these two idiots solve it once and for all. Also: When the toddler hands you the phone…what’s being said on the other line? Then we finish the ep with part two of Google Gripes round one!

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114 | May Your Rootin' Always Be Tootin'

Thu, 24 Apr 2025 05:00:00 -0400

The wait is over (if it ever started)...the fifth season of Google Gripes has arrived! Matt gets the ball rolling with another set of 1-star Google reviews for well-known movies, but first: when people say 'that's right up my alley'...what street is that alley off of? Where have all the cowboys gone? And what should Effin' Cultured do for their next roast episode? Yeah, that's right, we're not the only podcast that suckers its audience into providing their content!

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113 | Cracking Into Cold Ones

Thu, 10 Apr 2025 05:00:00 -0400

For this episode, we're joined by the lead singer of Infinite Pizza, local witch, and licensed mortician Becky Hackerman! Becky brought along a plethora of questions for the boys to go through, ranging from "Is blood soup?" to "What is your Fursona?" Then, Becky gives Matt a tarot reading.

Follow Infinite Pizza on Instagram and check them out on Bandcamp!

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112 | YDAFT & Afraid 2: Costco

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Ya boys are back on the street. Well...back on the aisles. YDAFT and Afraid returns for its sophomore voyage as Matt and Eric take the episode into a Costco to answer all your questions about the bulk retailing giant!

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111 | Thou Shalt Read the Room

Thu, 13 Mar 2025 05:00:00 -0400

We've got a very special etiquette-themed episode for you this week! We've been saving up some questions of etiquette in various situations and now you get them all at once, including: What's the proper etiquette for asking someone to be the base in pool chicken? For inviting a friend of yours to a party they weren't invited to? For guillotine use? Then, Eric brings Matt a fresh Pop Quiz: Punk or Poser

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110 | The Kaczynski Method

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 05:00:00 -0500

This episode we're joined by a true YDAFT Giant, submitter of bundles of questions, and expert in all things odd: it's Tim from Against All Oddities! And he came prepared. Not only does he rattle off a packet of prepared questions, he also sent both Matt and Eric a secret question to prepare in advance without the other's knowledge. He's setting a new bar for guest preparation and you're the beneficiary!

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109 | Bobbing for Knives

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 05:00:00 -0500

If, from the day you are born, you never bleed, do you live your entire life with the same blood? We explore the body like The Magic School Bus after we dive deeper into Matt's Dad's theory that a 'Student Driver' sticker conspiracy is running rampant through these United States. Then we finish off the episode with some new Local Legends!

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108 | Critical Girth

Thu, 30 Jan 2025 05:00:00 -0500

What is an appropriate dollop size before it becomes a scoop? What makes a Good Stick? The boys tackle these problems before Eric tests Matt with a Pop Quiz.

Don't forget to fill out your 2025 YDAFT Bingo card! You can fill out your own here. Simply drag and drop 24 of the choices onto the board and send it to youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com before the end of January. The cut-off is 1/31 at 11:59pm. A good bingo gets you a guest spot on the show and some free merch!

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107 | Surrender to Kyle

Thu, 16 Jan 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode Matt becomes a pampered prince, Eric is subjected to another Pop Quiz, and, of course, we answer some questions:

I just had a baby boy, my question for you guys is what is some fatherly advice I should give him first?
What's the proper etiquette for letting someone know their zipper is down?

Don't forget to fill out your 2025 YDAFT Bingo card! You can fill out your own here. Simply drag and drop 24 of the choices onto the board and send it to youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com before the end of January. The cut-off is 1/31 at 11:59pm. A good bingo gets you a guest spot on the show and some free merch!

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106 | Sic Semper Philranus

Thu, 02 Jan 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Welcome to 2025! Celebrate the new year with the noblest of activities: the YDAFT Bingo card! Our third addition of the yearly card selection includes our usual predictions for deaths, word of the year, and promises to "get each other into" something. Plus much, much more.

Want to play along? You can fill out your own here. Simply drag and drop 24 of the choices onto the board and send it to youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com before the end of January. The cut-off is 2/1 at 12:00am. A good bingo gets you a guest spot on the show and some free merch!

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105 | Haunted Into Empathy

Thu, 19 Dec 2024 05:00:00 -0500

Come in and know him better, man! Instead of another Christmas Definitive Ranking, this year we're bringing you The Bah Humbug Bracket: 32 Scrooges facing off in a battle royale to see who will be the final Scrooge standing.

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104 | Pissin' Me Timbers

Thu, 05 Dec 2024 05:00:00 -0500

It's been asked time and time again: what's the sexiest plant? Plus, the boys become time goblins to answer yet another time-travel question before welcoming back a classic segment: local legends.

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103 | Smash Yacht, Bruh

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 05:00:00 -0500

Why don't boats have figureheads anymore? Are there non-food-related knuckle tattoos that are better than food ones? These are the quandaries we cover on this week's episode plus: back-to-back Pop Quizes!

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102 | Speaking of My Burdens...

Thu, 07 Nov 2024 05:00:00 -0500

Femur or Tibia? No, we don't understand the question either but it came in on the thoughtline so we're answering it. Then: what is a Lego set that absolutely needs to exist but never will? Finally, we tackle another workplace question before Eric unleashes a Pop Quiz on Matt.

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101 | Let's Get on the Same Page

Thu, 24 Oct 2024 05:00:00 -0400

Weeee'rrrreee baaackkk! We're on the second 100 episodes and we begin with:

What life stats should be displayed at death?
When we say when we're on the same page - what page are we actually on?

Then: a sudden-death tiebreaker to season four of Google Gripes!

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"Oops! All Tangents" is a shorter, question-free episode dropped on the first Friday of every month. We'll tell longer stories, take deep dives into specific topics, and do all sorts other fun things we can't fit into our regular episodes. Join us!

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The Best of Episodes of 51-60

Thu, 10 Oct 2024 05:00:00 -0400

Ya boys were sick, so please enjoy a little trip down nostalgia lane...by which we mean the very best of Episodes 51-60. Don't worry, we'll be back with Episode 101 in two weeks.

But hey, if you want a new YDAFT...check out our first bonus episode on our Patreon!

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100 | Floor Pizza

Thu, 26 Sep 2024 05:00:00 -0400

After four years, we've finally hit the big milestone: episode 100! For this very special occasion Matt and Eric record in person, interviewing each other with personal questions that the other doesn't know about. Then, Matt springs a new game on Eric, inspired by the British TV show "Taskmaster."

But the big announcement is...we're launching a Patreon!
Don't worry, we're keeping it humble:

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We're on TikTok now! Go see our dumb faces!

Submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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99 | A Thinkin' Man's Bit

Thu, 12 Sep 2024 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode:

You are now superheroes. What is your superpower? What is your weakness and most importantly? What is your superhero name?
What is the nature of the minions' labor for Gru?

We tackle these two Thoughtline questions before moving on to the finale of Google Gripes Season Four...or do we?

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98 | The Church of Latter Day Podcasts

Thu, 29 Aug 2024 05:00:00 -0400

What's the proper etiquette for walking in on someone in the bathroom? We get to that mystery, but only after taking some pilot voice requests and...creating a church? Then: the final round of Google Gripes Season Four begins!

Want to be in Episode 100? We want you there too! Just call the Thoughtline and leave us a message: 410-929-5329. We'd love to hear from you.

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97 | Clown Court

Thu, 15 Aug 2024 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode, we are joined by the incomparable and beloved Alyssa Forsythe, better known to you all as frequent contributor dough_babe! Alyssa brings us the case for owning Neopets in 2024 and supervises as Matt and Eric as they make each other a Neopet. Then: what happens in Clown Court?

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96 | This is Your Captain Speaking

Thu, 01 Aug 2024 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode:

What is the order of operations at a buffet?
What is supporting character energy? What would be a "supporting character moment?"

We tackle these timeless questions before concluding Round Two of this season of Google Gripes.

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95 | Any Poch in a Storm

Thu, 18 Jul 2024 05:00:00 -0400

Now that we're halfway through 2024, it's time to check in on our 2024 YDAFT Bingo! We go over our cards as well as the top submissions from listeners before we tackle the lone question for the episode: what are the NEW Ten Commandments? Then: the triumphant return to season four of Google Gripes.

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94 | He Feta Cheesed Me

Thu, 04 Jul 2024 05:00:00 -0400

Fresh off his Broadway debut in "An Enemy of the People," it's actor (and our longtime friend) Matthew August Jeffers! You've seen Matthew's work in shows like "New Amsterdam," "The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live," "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel," and more...now listen to him as the three of us answer some pretty dumb questions such as: between Matt and Eric, who wins the Tour de France? What would the Shea and Poch Awards be for? Plus some...more intimate questions. Then: the boys talk about Matthew's Broadway debut and share some more awkward audition stories.

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93 | Steveless in Seattle

Thu, 20 Jun 2024 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode we tackle a question from the Thoughtline: we all know about The Golden Rule...but what are The Silver and Bronze Rules? At least, that's what we talk about once we banter about Maryland snacks for a while. Then: Matt surprises Eric with a new segment...a surprise game.

Don't forget: we're now on TikTok! See our faces today!

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92 | Gritty Ass Galaga

Thu, 06 Jun 2024 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode:

What's the next great video game adaptation...from 80's arcade cabinets?
What is the proper etiquette for "the driving wave?"

We answer these questions only after receiving an answer to Mike from the Neatcast's train problem presented in episode 88 | It's Raining Libertarians. Then: Dr. Lindsey Barr joins us for a new installment of Lindsey's Correction Corner.

Also: we're now on TikTok! See our faces today!

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91 | Long Daddy

Thu, 23 May 2024 05:00:00 -0400

Why are they called “Daddy Long Legs?"
If reality is, in fact, a simulation, what are some real-life examples of "glitches" in the simulation?

We dig into those questions but only after Matt explains his war with a goose. Then: the second half of Google Gripes Season Four Round One.

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90 | New Tune Goofin'

Thu, 09 May 2024 05:00:00 -0400

What time is it on the Moon? How would you re-order the alphabet - would you add or subtract any letters? Certainly, we're the most qualified to tackle those questions, and after we do we move on to the fourth season of Google Gripes...but with a new twist: movies!

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89.5 | YDAFT & Afraid: Live from Ikea (Part 2)

Thu, 02 May 2024 05:00:00 -0400

If you missed Part One last week...go back and listen to it! This is the dramatic conclusion to our first-ever two-part episode, in which we venture out into the wilds of Swedish furniture and meatballs. The boys recorded this one in person in Ikea to answer all your questions about the furniture fun house.

For the photos referenced in this episode, follow along on our Instagram!

We'll be back with your regularly-scheduled Ep. 90 next week!

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89 | YDAFT & Afraid: Live from Ikea (Part 1)

Thu, 25 Apr 2024 05:00:00 -0400

In our first-ever two-part episode, we venture out into the wilds of Swedish furniture and meatballs. The boys recorded this one in person in Ikea to answer all your questions about the furniture fun house.

For the photos referenced in this episode, follow along on our Instagram!

Part Two will be released next week. That's right: no off week between episodes 89 and 90...you're getting three straight weeks of YDAFT goodness.

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88 | It's Raining Libertarians

Thu, 11 Apr 2024 05:00:00 -0400

One of our nearest, dearest, and neatest podcast friends joins us for this episode: The Neatcast! Mike, Zack, and the spirit of Jer stop by to pepper us with some questions including: are beverages snacks? What are the best and worst replacements for rain? What quest would you assign to your best friend? Plus an actual math problem you can help us solve...if you so dare.

Here is The Neatcast episode in which Mike details Zack's surprise stalking - er - visit.

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87 | God's Mistake

Thu, 28 Mar 2024 05:00:00 -0400

This is it! The moment has finally arrived to choose a mascot for the show. We asked you to send in your suggestions and boy did you deliver. In this super-sized episode, we put these candidates to the test in a March Madness-style bracket. Not only that, we also debut a new closing segment and announce an exciting and unique upcoming themed episode...

The images for each seed can be found on our Instagram.

For Matt's newsletter on Wrexham AFC, subject of FX's Welcome to Wrexham, subscribe to The Wrexham Wreader on Substack!

As always, you can submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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86 | Romancing the Roomba

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 05:00:00 -0400

Matt pitches an exclusive event while Eric grapples with a clapback voicemail from someone near and dear. Then: how will AI impact reality shows? Will there be AI-based reality shows like Love is AI? We tackle this growing conundrum before taking some questions from Chad, GPT.

As always, you can submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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85 | Get in Loser, We're Moshing

Thu, 29 Feb 2024 05:00:00 -0500

Does America really run on Dunkin'? If not, what does run on Dunkin'? And what does America run on? Plus: Eric and Matt are handed a very-specific ultimatum from Tim at Against All Oddities.

LAST CALL FOR MASCOTS! If you haven't yet, don't forget to enter the YDAFT Mascot bracket! Who should represent this cluster of a pod? Send us your suggestions!

As always, you can submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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84 | A Cent for Your Contemplations

Thu, 15 Feb 2024 05:00:00 -0500

Today's questions: Why do you have to put your two cents in, but it's only a penny for your thoughts? If each of us could use a "challenge" via instant replay once per day, how would you use your challenge? The Charmin Bears come in different colors. Blue, Red, Brown…why is this? Plus, we address some bingo card-related news items and report the results of the Venetian Canals Google Gripes incident.

If you haven't yet, don't forget to enter the YDAFT Mascot bracket! Who should represent this cluster of a pod? Send us your suggestions!

As always, you can submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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83 | Aesop's B-Sides

Thu, 01 Feb 2024 05:00:00 -0500

How do you write a notes app apology? If you had to swap two of your senses, what would they be? And...what would you do for a Klondike bar? These are the questions on our docket before the thrilling (and controversial) season three finale of Google Gripes.

If you haven't yet, don't forget to enter the YDAFT Mascot bracket! Who should represent this cluster of a pod? Send us your suggestions!

As always, you can submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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82 | Trucknutz Rides You

Thu, 18 Jan 2024 05:00:00 -0500

How do you get to Sesame Street? What are the most mildly infuriating curses you can think of? What would the Pokemon "Floridaman" be like? All will be revealed before we start the final round of Google Gripes season three.

Want to play YDAFT bingo? Submit your own card using this template!

If you haven't yet, don't forget to enter the YDAFT Mascot bracket! Who should represent this cluster of a pod? Send us your suggestions!

As always, you can submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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81 | Milk Comin' for Gen Z

Thu, 04 Jan 2024 05:00:00 -0500

A new year means one thing: our second annual Bingo Card drafting. Find out what the candidates are for this year's 2024 YDAFT Bingo Cards...and submit your own! Just use this link to download the template, drag your selection of choices, and submit it to us at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com, or on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at @udidntaskpod.

https://www.canva.com/design/DAF4wYXCCd8/atanVFzr_KkTgJbdoTa3Dg/view?utm_content=DAF4wYXCCd8&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=publishsharelink&mode=preview

As always, you can submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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80 | King of the Misfits

Thu, 21 Dec 2023 05:00:00 -0500

It's time for our annual Christmas episode and with it comes a new definitive ranking! This year we're rating the misfit toys from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in order of their misfittiness. But first: are there any actual "Christmas cookies," or are they only called that because of the season? Then: a controversial second round of Google Gripes.

If you haven't yet, don't forget to enter the YDAFT Mascot bracket! Who should represent this cluster of a pod? Send us your suggestions!

Submit your leas t pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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79 | The Forbidden Peloton

Thu, 07 Dec 2023 05:00:00 -0500

We all know the children's rhyme "The Itsy Bitsy Spider," but have you ever considered the profound metaphors hidden within its simple lines? We unravel this classic nursery rhyme to find out what drove that spider to the top...only to be struck down again and again. Then: if time is money, are ATMs time machines? All this before starting round two of this season of Google Gripes.

If you haven't yet, don't forget to enter the YDAFT Mascot bracket! Who should represent this cluster of a pod? Send us your suggestions!

Submit your leas t pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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78 | Humpty Dumpty's Bumpy Dumpy

Thu, 23 Nov 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Enough is enough: what is Humpty Dumpty? Is he actually an egg...or something more? Why are the royal family interested? And what wall was he on? We answer these age old questions in a new YDAFT Investigation. Plus: what is the 8th day of the week that The Beatles sang about? Then we cap things off with two local legends you won't want to miss.

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77 | Gulf War Gameboy

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Left Twix vs Right Twix: what's the difference? We explore these two rivaling candy bars before tackling some of our lowest-brow humor yet: What is your most shameful poop sesh? Do you have a poop you’re especially proud of? Yes that's right: it's all candy and toilet humor on this one. Until the back half of Google Gripes S3 R1 that is!

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76 | You Can't Handle the Bit

Thu, 26 Oct 2023 05:00:00 -0400

It's here! Our annual spookisode is back with lots of ghost-based questions:
Can ghosts see each other? Do they have to take turns haunting people? How crowded is the afterlife? Can ghosts be haunted in the afterlife? What professions are NOT represented as Halloween costumes, but are terrifying nonetheless? Does anyone still “Trick” during Trick-or-Treat? If so, where is the line between appropriate and inappropriate Tricks?

Then: the start of season three of Google Gripes!

Colorado Bigfoot Video
New York Times Bigfoot Article

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75 | Mosh Pit Lifeguard

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 05:00:00 -0400

How does one mosh? Matt grills Eric on his concert-going habits before the two tackle another more universal question: how would Clifford the Big Red Dog live in real life? Then the boys have a circleback/follow-up from the one and only JG Toesworth.

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74 | Dogs with Thumbs

Thu, 28 Sep 2023 05:00:00 -0400

The Baja Men have been asking for over twenty years and now we need to know: who did let the dogs out? And speaking of early 2000s pop hits: what does 'she listens like Spring and talks like June' mean anyway? And, perhaps most importantly: who is delivering the Ninja Turtles' pizza and where are they getting the money?

We deal with these questions before we deal with our own mistakes in a brand new segment featuring Dr. Lindsey Barr: Lindsey's Correction Corner.

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The Best of Episodes 41-50

Thu, 14 Sep 2023 05:00:00 -0400

Matt and Eric are on a secret mission to rescue a small, but friendly mountain goat who has gotten himself stuck on the side of Mount Kilimanjaro, so we'll need to roll-out some of the best bits from YDAFTs gone by...enjoy!

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73 | A Koala with Terrible Purpose

Thu, 31 Aug 2023 05:00:00 -0400

Which animated duck has the best life? If Winnie the Pooh is a living stuffed bear, where does the honey go? If Spice Melange was a real spice, what food would you put it on? Posing these question to us is none other than actor and oft-mentioned question submitter, Alexander Kafarakis!

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72 | I Say "YES, Jan!"

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 05:00:00 -0400

Here's the story about eight people named Brady, one named Alice, and who in this family is the best. That's right, we've got a brand-new Definitive Ranking for you: The Brady Bunch. Plus, What would a complicated bake oven look like?"

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71 | Let's Start on the Funny?

Thu, 03 Aug 2023 05:00:00 -0400

When do people in the Peanuts universe start talking with the adult “wah-wah” voice? If trees could walk, would they form their own societies? What are alien relationships like? Plus: we go over some recent 2023 bingo card items and bring to you Ian the Holy Mole's mashup of Mr. Brightside and Margaritaville.

Speaking of the Holy Mole, check out his new venture at https://www.genxcess.co.uk/ for some badass walking aides.

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70 | The Long, Dark Ball Pit of the Soul

Thu, 20 Jul 2023 05:00:00 -0400

Get ready: this episode we answer questions given to us by...an inhuman source. Plus: the triumphant return of Fast Five and a circle-back/followup to our millennial retirement home discussion: what is the millennial margaritaville?

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69 | Grimace is as Grimace Does

Thu, 06 Jul 2023 05:00:00 -0400

In honor of his highly-publicized birthday, we've gathered your questions about Ronald McDonald's (allegedly) best friend: Grimace. What is Grimace? What is Grimace's biology? Does he have a special toilet or does he even NEED a toilet? The answers will surprise you. Then we hold a mid-year check-in on our 2023 bingo cards.

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68 | I'm Gonna Be a Problem

Thu, 22 Jun 2023 05:00:00 -0400

What would happen if a "key to the city" was literal?
Would Lightning McQueen buy life insurance or car insurance?
Can you daydream at night?
What will the retirement home be like for millennials?

To help us answer these questions, we enlist the help of Emmy-winning producer and talent-booker Anthony Conway!

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67 | Blundering to Success

Thu, 08 Jun 2023 05:00:00 -0400

Why doesn’t Tarzan have facial hair? When people ask “Where are you from?” what is the age cutoff to be “from” somewhere? What if experience points were real? We have all these answers plus a special circle-back/follow-up featuring the one and only Harry the Centaur.

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66 | Binge It Like Beckham

Thu, 25 May 2023 05:00:00 -0400

How important do you have to be to be considered assassinated and not just murdered? What qualifies someone as a Disney Adult? How do you find a job as an evil villain's assistant? These are the hard-hitting questions we cover before we get to the highly-anticipated season two finale of Google Gripes.

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65 | An Impediment to the Vibe

Thu, 11 May 2023 05:00:00 -0400

What is the definition of "ish?" If Air Bud were to enter the joust, would he be the mount or the rider? Is there a rule saying dogs can't be in the joust? Plus: Someone’s got a pair of garden shears, clean but not sterile. He looks wiry and fit but not too strong. He’s offering cash for toes. How much cash would you accept for each toe?

We answer these questions and compare feet before launching into the season 2 finale of Google Gripes!

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64 | Never Trust a Worm

Thu, 27 Apr 2023 05:00:00 -0400

When does The Future begin? What could an idiom of "On the eyebrow" mean? What is the YDAFT mascot? We break it all down before the triumphant return of Local Legends, where we discuss El Tabudo and the Virginia TV Head Man.

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63 | Vicious Mockery

Thu, 13 Apr 2023 05:00:00 -0400

This episode we have the honor of being joined actor, playwright, and musician Michael Perrie Jr! Michael brings the boys a bushel of questions including: Is Frosty the snowman or the hat? In dungeons and dragons there are mechanics like Initiative, Action, and Bonus Action. What would some of those be for real life, for your own life, and why? And the very disturbing: 101 Dalmatians. There are 101 of them…how many of them are absolute bastards, how many of them are psychopaths, and how many of them would it actually take to make an adult woman’s coat?

Plus, he brings the boys a special gift segment to close things out!

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62 | We Are the Culture

Thu, 30 Mar 2023 05:00:00 -0400

When you say “its been a while”, what is the longest it’s been that it’s still ok to use that phrase? If Hercules was given a 13th impossible task in the modern age, what would it be and could he do it? Is it that the one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple people eater is a creature that itself is one-eyed, one-horned, purple of color, and eats only normal, human people; OR is it a creature whose diet is exclusively people who are one-eyed, one-horned, purple of color, and can fly?

We settle these pressing issues before moving on to Google Gripes Season 2, Round 2...Part 2!

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61 | Kirbies All the Way Down

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 05:00:00 -0400

What's it like inside of Kirby? Is a bird in the hand really worth two in the bush? How would the Vatican handle an Angels in the Outfield situation? All questions that have been asked since the beginning of time (or 1951/1994) and they'll be answered today. Plus: a controversial start to Google Gripes Season 2, Round 2.

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60 | We Are Due for a Child King

Thu, 02 Mar 2023 05:00:00 -0500

This week the boys welcome a second Brit to the program...Ian the Holy Mole from The Strange Mole Show, a brilliant British political sketch comedy podcast - available wherever you get your pods! Ian joins us to ask: Is dog really man's best friend? What would be your zombie apocalypse weapon of choice? If the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, what's the biggest clap in your path? The trio then dig in to get the satirist's thoughts on Brexit and British policy, before offering some sparknotes on just how the hell the American congress works.

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59 | James Bond in Hospice

Thu, 16 Feb 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Is there a formula for making the perfect James Bond villain? Matt and Eric dive deep into the weeds of Bond's enemies to find out in an all-new YDAFT Investigation. Then the boys clear out The Thoughtline with multiple circle-back voicemails.

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58 | Grippable Skull

Thu, 02 Feb 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Is milk juice? At the movie theater, which armrest is yours? What makes a face punchable? We answer these questions after Matt's dream actions cause him problems and before we get to a circle-back/follow-up on his secret Elf on the Shelf exploits.

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57 | An NFT by Any Other Name

Thu, 19 Jan 2023 05:00:00 -0500

A simple question submission may have led to a new YDAFT tradition. This week the boys figure out what is on their 2023 Bingo Cards...and invite you to play along!

You can fill out a 2023 YDAFT Bingo Card here.

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56 | So Said Meatloaf and So Say I

Thu, 05 Jan 2023 05:00:00 -0500

How big is personal space? How does one win 'The Game' (which, sorry: you just lost)? Plus: we invent new circles of Hell and Eric completes his half of Google Gripes Season 2, Round 1!

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55 | Elf on the Chaise Lounge

Thu, 22 Dec 2022 05:00:00 -0500

Happy holidays, everyone! Since you've all been so good, this year we got you a brand new Definitive Ranking: the 12 days of Christmas! Just what does one do with all these damn birds? Plus: love him or hate him, we're tackling all your questions about the Elf on the Shelf.

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54 | Step Into My Office

Thu, 08 Dec 2022 05:00:00 -0500

What is the best and worst way to spend spoons? Eric finally gets to teach Matt about Spoon Theory before the boys tackle a delicate question: in this era of Toxic Masculinity, "what is the modern day "Test of Manhood"? Plus: the first YDAFT job reference and the season two premiere of Google Gripes.

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53 | Daddy the Magnificent

Thu, 24 Nov 2022 05:00:00 -0500

What are the ingredients of Humble Pie? What's the oldest trick in the book? Why do millennials hate phone calls? This Thanksgiving, we're grateful to be tackling these questions as we search for a new Turkey Day tradition and wrestle with a challenge from the Thoughtline.

Play out music for this episode: "Don't Take It Out on Me" by PEG and the Rejected.

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52 | Boudoir Feet Pics

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 05:00:00 -0500

What is the appropriate punishment for coworkers that eat your lunch? How did Pigpen get so dirty and why can't he get clean? We answer these existential dilemmas before heading to the Thoughtline, where two spouses have called on us for counseling. Plus: a brand-new segment of Fun Facts that you certainly didn't ask for.

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51 | Pillow Talk

Thu, 27 Oct 2022 05:00:00 -0400

Spooky season is upon us and we've got an episode full of Halloween treats! Namely: what's the worst Halloween candy? What does your Trick or Treat bag of choice say about you? What (fictional) serial killer would you want to be your roommate? Plus: the boys ask each other some personal questions.

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50 | Soup as Old as Rhyme

Thu, 13 Oct 2022 05:00:00 -0400

To celebrate the 50th episode of YDAFT, we're welcoming back all of our past guests! These YDAFT Giants return as guest gripers in the much-anticipated season one finale of Google Gripes. But first: we finally cover the burning question from our show's description.

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49 | 1.21 GigaWTF?

Thu, 29 Sep 2022 07:00:00 -0400

In a themed episode, we go through your least-pressing questions about Sci Fi classic (and Matt's favorite movie) Back to the Future. From so called "plot holes" to speculation on what the characters are up to in 2022, we clean-up the BTTF Continuum for you. Plus: a check-in with Fauntleroy.

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48 | Baby's First Biscuit (LIVE!)

Thu, 15 Sep 2022 05:00:00 -0400

In YDAFT's first-ever live episode, the boys welcome back Andy "Cookie" Rawlings as they fulfill a request from across the pond: to definitively re-rank Dave Channel's bullshit list of Britain's Best-Loved Biscuits.

Click here to see Dave's original list.

To see images of each biscuit, visit our Instagram!

The episode was recorded live on the YDAFT YouTube channel on 8/29/2022. For the first time you can watch the episode, complete and uncut. Click here for the video.

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47 | Throw the Whole Man Out

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 05:00:00 -0400

Does Jolene know that Dolly’s man says her name in his sleep, or did she have to find out through song like everyone else? In a world where dogs play poker, what breed would be dealer? The players? Why don't birds poop on the roofs of houses? This episode provides those answers, but only after Matt determines if Eric is a member of The Back to the Future Community. Plus: a dramatic reading of Matt’s fabled ‘Oregon Trail Live Tweet.’

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46 | Mansplaining Mansplaining

Thu, 18 Aug 2022 05:00:00 -0400

Road trips are full of questions and this episode, we're answering them all. Well, okay...some. Such as: are Swedish Fish gummies? What are the roles and responsibilities of each passenger in the car? Do other states besides New Jersey prohibit you from pumping your own gas...and what happens to you if you do? Plus: new neighborly nonsense in a fresh Neighborhood Watch.

JUST ANNOUNCED: Episode 48 will be recorded LIVE on YouTube on August 29th at 5:30pm EST! Watch it here: https://youtu.be/ND7Xhx71cbE. And be sure to MASH that subscribe button on our fancy-new YouTube Channel.

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45 | The Doughletariat

Thu, 04 Aug 2022 05:00:00 -0400

Is the Pillsbury Doughboy a cannibal? If it's neither here nor there...where is it? What's the creepiest thing you can say when passing someone on the street? This is the eclectic group of conundrums facing us on episode 45, along with a fresh batch of Local Legends, and Matt's new special journal.

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The Best of Episodes 31-40

Thu, 21 Jul 2022 05:00:00 -0400

Our July has been a bit hectic so you'll have to wait a little longer for episode 45, but in the meantime please take enjoy reliving the very best of episodes 31-40! While you wait...

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44 | Mozzarella is a Team Player

Thu, 07 Jul 2022 05:00:00 -0400

What kind of cheese is the best cheese? And in what form? And how many slices of American Cheese is too many? We answer all of these questions from a cheesy Twitter thread plus: does farting make you heavier? Why does nature pre-slice oranges and grapefruits? Then: the thrilling conclusion to round three of Google Gripes.

Want more Google Gripes?

Round One
32 | Pouch Me, Mama
34 | Unregistered Method Acting

Round Two
36 | Truecuterie
38 | The Deuce is Loose

Round Three
43 | Sell Out, Cash In

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43 | Sell Out, Cash In

Thu, 23 Jun 2022 05:00:00 -0400

What happened to Fuzzy Wuzzy's hair? When does sooner end and later begin? Is breakfast for dinner...still just breakfast? We dissect these conundrums, dig into Ben and Jerry's recommendations, and start a brand new round of Google Gripes.

Want to catch up on the first two rounds of Google Gripes? Here's your guide:

Round One
32 | Pouch Me, Mama
34 | Unregistered Method Acting

Round Two
36 | Truecuterie
38 | The Deuce is Loose

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42 | Win One for the Quacker

Thu, 09 Jun 2022 05:00:00 -0400

We are thrilled to be joined by psychedelic folk artist and former YDAFT Local Legend...Lewis Mallard! If you missed our previous report on Lewis (episode 37), Lewis travels the streets of Hamilton, Ontario as a giant duck. We interview Lewis about his experiences as an avian artist while Lewis asks questions about powdered milk and D&D characters. We also work together to formulate a fair trade of states and provinces between our countries.

Check out Lewis on Instagram: @lewis_mallard!

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41 | Depending on the Vibe...

Thu, 26 May 2022 05:00:00 -0400

What is the correct way to make a PB&J? It's a question everyone has an answer to...and we are no exception. We duke it out over this culinary staple before examining what the Tooth Fairy does with all those teeth, what you see when life "flashes before your eyes" and spend a great deal of time on Reese and his various peanut butter products. Plus: a brand-new closing segment brought to us by two YDAFT Giants: Neighborhood Watch.

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40 | Booty Scoots

Thu, 12 May 2022 05:00:00 -0400

Are there more windows or wheels? This week we take the viral TikTok question a little bit deeper before tackling what the world would look like if Cephalapods had become the dominant creature on Earth. Plus: the return of Fast Five and we celebrate 40 episodes by answering some personal questions.

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39 | "K."

Thu, 28 Apr 2022 05:00:00 -0400

This episode is all about etiquette and protocols: how do you get a guest to leave your house? What's the most unethical use of PowerPoint? Is ending a sentence in a text without punctuation passive aggressive? Plus: we debut a long-requested closing segment and respond to the beef the boys at Effin' Cultured started with us.

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38 | The Deuce is Loose

Thu, 14 Apr 2022 05:00:00 -0400

Joining us this week is special guest and patron saint of podcasting Zack Deuce! Together we solve the pressing issues facing the world today: what happens if you're scared half to death twice? Why do we say something is "out of whack" and what IS "a whack?" How many chickens does it take to kill an elephant? Then: Matt and Eric interview Zack about life in the world of real radio before transitioning to some 1-star Google reviews to end Round Two of Google Gripes.

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37 | You Can't Conceive of Cary Elwes

Thu, 31 Mar 2022 05:00:00 -0400

This week we dive into a YDAFT investigation to find out: Is anything in The Princess Bride truly "inconceivable?" Plus: what's the difference between a sketch and a skit? We close things out with two new Local Legends...after Matt starts things off with an injury.

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36 | Truecuterie

Thu, 17 Mar 2022 05:00:00 -0400

What is Dr. Pepper's doctorate in? Is St. Patrick's Day overrated, underrated, or perfectly rated? How do you create the perfect charcuterie board using only items found at 7-11? This episode we're building that board and answering these questions plus bringing you more 1-star Google reviews.

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35 | On the Advice of My Counsel

Thu, 03 Mar 2022 05:00:00 -0500

This week we welcome attorney and YDAFT Giant Carisa Hatfield to the show! Carisa brings an existential question about one's strength before we dive into picking a non-DeLorean vehicular time machine and getting a lawyer's advice on the legality Ariel's contract in The Little Mermaid.

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34 | Unregistered Method Acting

Thu, 17 Feb 2022 05:00:00 -0500

Exactly how long is a moment? What cartoon weapon worries you the most? Why do beavers biologically hate running water? These are the burning questions Matt and Eric tackle this episode, plus Matt shares why AARP is already targeting him and the boys Zoom-bomb a call with some surprise (and distinguished) guests.

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33 | Semantics Strike Again

Thu, 03 Feb 2022 05:00:00 -0500

DJ Snake and Lil Jon have been asking the question for nine years and in this episode we finally provide the answer: what can can turn down for? We also weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each of the Ninja Turtles' weapons and decode exactly what kind of dog is The Downward Dog. Plus: the end of an era on Weird News.

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32 | Pouch Me, Mama

Thu, 20 Jan 2022 05:00:00 -0500

How much should you reveal about yourself to your co-workers? Which superhero would make the best therapist? Matt and Eric provide these answers in addition to a series of questions from a dog. Plus: Matt challenges Eric with a brand-new game.

Announcing the YDAFT Hotline! Call us at (410) 929-5329 and leave a message. We might just play it in a future episode!

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The Best of Episodes 21-30

Thu, 06 Jan 2022 05:00:00 -0500

We're taking a short break this week, so you get to relive some of the best moments from the back half of 2021. From Bugles to Poo-Pourri, please enjoy this shot of pure, distilled YDAFT.

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31 | You're on Eartha's Time

Thu, 23 Dec 2021 05:00:00 -0500

For our second Christmas episode, we bring to you our latest Definitive Ranking: Santa's Reindeer. Who is the best of the bunch and who is just dead weight? Plus: the answer to the question every workplace faces: White Elephant or Secret Santa? The boys also go through the options for the best Christmas song and crown a champion.

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30 | Do You Even Chuck, Bro?

Thu, 09 Dec 2021 05:00:00 -0500

As far as least-pressing questions go, this week the boys cover a heavy hitter: how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? They also dive into microwave etiquette in the break room, find out just how one "out pizzas The Hut," and share some new Local Legends from Germany and Seattle.

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29 | Flamboyant Versification

Thu, 25 Nov 2021 05:00:00 -0500

My friends, my friends, I need to know: is The Cat in the Hat a villain...or hero? The answer to this conundrum plus: why squirrels jump in front of cars, the return of Fast Five, and a Circle-back/Follow-up to the boys free bread Definitive Ranking.

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28 | Did I Just Clapback?

Thu, 11 Nov 2021 05:00:00 -0500

There's fashionably late and then there's being rude. The boys tackle a question on group dining etiquette before moving on to a question directed at Eagle Scout Matt Shea...one that spawns Eric's long-awaited line of Boy Scout-related inquiries for Matt. That's right folks...the Boy Scout episode has arrived.

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27 | Mash On, Brother

Thu, 28 Oct 2021 05:00:00 -0400

Just in time for spooky season, the boys welcome author, retired scare actor, and oft-mentioned listener from London, Andy "Cookie" Rawlings! The three gents get to the bottom of Bobby Pickett's eternal hit "The Monster Mash." Specifically: what is it? The song? A song within the song? Or something...darker? Plus, the three share tales from their time working at haunted attractions and Andy brings in a question from the ScareTrack Podcast.

Check out Andy's book, Through the Dead Eye: A Eulogy to the Art of Scare Acting!

See Andy in the documentary UK Haunters, covering the UK haunt scene!

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26 | Sit There and Die Mad About It

Thu, 14 Oct 2021 05:00:00 -0400

They may be the very definition of "finger foods" but real question is: are Bugles chips? Matt and Eric debate what the horn-shaped corn snack really is while also defining the acceptable toppings for toast and solving a parking lot conundrum. In celebration of YDAFT's one-year anniversary, the boys close by responding to some Personal Questions.

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25 | Comrade Danny Ocean

Thu, 30 Sep 2021 05:00:00 -0400

Joining Matt and Eric for episode 25 is actor and podcaster Meghan Stanton! Meghan asks the boys about what makes "the perfect crime" and the three may or may not form a crime syndicate. The three interview each other on their dumb domestic disputes and the boys present the latest in dumb crime.

Stay tuned after the episode for a preview of Beneath the Headlines, a new parody true crime podcast co-created by Meghan, Matt, and former guest Paul Diem and starring Eric in a variety of roles!

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24 | Do Unto Me

Thu, 16 Sep 2021 05:00:00 -0400

This week Matt and Eric answer a duo of questions regarding the greatest actor of our generation: Wishbone. How did he spend retirement? And why was he never featured on Inside the Actor's Studio? The boys also tackle a head-scratcher from a new Hyundai commercial, ponder technological troubles of elderly millennials, and round up a few new Local Legends.

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23 | Monopoly: It Starts with a Dream

Thu, 02 Sep 2021 05:00:00 -0400

In their first themed episode, Matt and Eric dive into the vicious, cut-throat world of the board game everybody loves or loves to hate: Monopoly. Why do we still play this cautionary tale of capitalism? What or where is the 'Go' in real life? Why does everybody hate on Baltic? What are the differences between St. James' Place and Atlantic Avenues? Not to mention the adaptations: the boys break down the good, the bad, and the ridiculous. Plus: a Circle-back/Follow-up on a very special Amazon reviewer: Fauntleroy.

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22 | A Lindsey, Per Se

Thu, 19 Aug 2021 05:00:00 -0400

This week Matt and Eric are joined by the oft-mentioned Lindsey R, Barr: Dramaturg, Director, Ph.D Candidate, and Educator who just so happens to be married to Matt. Lindsey brings a question that Ed Helms has been asking ever since the 2009 classic The Hangover: "What DO tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze?" Plus: "What makes a bar a dive bar?"

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21 | The Candy Man Can

Thu, 05 Aug 2021 05:00:00 -0400

Matt and Eric are back with a full on investigation: what criminal violations does Willy Wonka face? You think OSHA has a lot to say about that factory? Wait until the gambling commission weighs in. The boys also provide the top 5 events that aren't in the olympics, but should be. Plus: shopping cart theft and a new round of Dumb Crime.

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The Best of Episodes 1-20

Thu, 22 Jul 2021 05:00:00 -0400

On this special edition of You Didn't Ask For This, revisit some of the highlights from the first twenty episodes. So grab a yerba mate, rip off those gift stickers, and sit back and enjoy the very best of the pod (so far.)

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20 | The Council of Matts

Thu, 08 Jul 2021 05:00:00 -0400

What is The Hokey Pokey all about? In Bootylicious, what flavor is The Jelly? What is the most-useless superpower? In the 20th episode you didn't ask for, Matt and Eric dig in to these mysteries, finding the hidden metaphor we participate in while "shaking it all about," and Beyoncé's prophecy in Bootylicious. Plus, the boys share their origin story in a special Personal Questions.

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19 | The False Scrivener*

Thu, 24 Jun 2021 05:00:00 -0400

What chain restaurant has the best free bread? If life gives you lemons, what does death give you? Matt and Eric tackle these important questions and rank your favorite (and least-favorite) free bread offerings from chain restaurants. Where do Olive Garden's breadsticks land? What about Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay Biscuits? Find out in the second installment of Definitive Ranking. Plus: a new batch of (listener submitted!) Local Legends.

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18 | Objectifying Bagels

Thu, 10 Jun 2021 05:00:00 -0400

If Garfield doesn't work, why does he hate Mondays? What's your meeting 'walk-up' music? How would you replace the 'popcorn' button on microwaves? These are just three of the eleven questions that special guest Sara Feldman brings to Matt and Eric for today's episode. Matt and Eric also discuss the hierarchy of Ikea products and debut a full length segment of Dumb Crime.

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17 | Nothing Illegal Comes in Grape

Thu, 27 May 2021 05:00:00 -0400

First on the agenda this week is a question that has plagued America for years: just how did the Geico camel lie his way into corporate middle management? Matt and Eric review his resume before debating the tough decisions that face time travelers. Plus: a new spin-off of Weird News: Dumb Crime.

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16 | Schrödinger's Hatchback

Thu, 13 May 2021 05:00:00 -0400

What are the consequences of immortality? In Aladdin, did The Genie invent an entire sovereign state so his master could impress the girl? This week, Matt and Eric answer these mysteries, plus some personal ones as they mix up philosophers, juggle time periods, create terrible Anthony Fauci impressions, and uncover whether or not The Genie is a fraud.

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15 | The Junk Drawer of the Soul

Thu, 06 May 2021 05:00:00 -0400

Matt and Eric welcome their first guest this week: Baltimore-based actor, director, and educator Paul Diem! The trio weigh-in on what does and does not belong in your home's most eclectic storage space: The Junk Drawer. Paul asks questions on dirty-sounding, but ultimately clean words, while Matt and Eric ask Paul about the state of high school theatre.

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14 | That's the Kirkland Difference

Thu, 15 Apr 2021 05:00:00 -0400

Paul Bunyan is one of America's premiere folk heroes, but is he also our premiere...kaiju? Matt and Eric tackle the viral Twitter question while also examining CatDog's reproductive system and determining if anything can save the reputation of The Fedora.

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13 | Child Nemesis

Thu, 01 Apr 2021 05:00:00 -0400

For April Fools' Day, Eric shares the epic tale of his most-extreme prank. Plus: an all-new Fast Five, the secrets of daylight savings time, and Matt and Eric open their first fan mail.

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12 | Throwin' Tootsie

Thu, 18 Mar 2021 05:00:00 -0400

This week, we decipher the proper way of eating an Oreo, we go underground into the secret lives of cicada cults, and cover Mr. Owl's qualifications for answering Tootsie Pop questions. Not too mention a Google Sheets vs Excel rant, a butter bell-based Circle Back, and a certain other Tootsie Pop question.

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11 | Radicalized Dolphins

Thu, 04 Mar 2021 05:00:00 -0500

This week we examine the specifics of the fabled "Miller Time," as well as explore what animals will take over after the humans are gone. Plus: Mario's afterlife and a fresh batch of local legends.

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10 | The 7th Circle Back of Hell

Thu, 18 Feb 2021 05:00:00 -0500

There are 324 possible combinations of suspects, weapons, and locales in the game of Clue...but which is the deadliest? Matt and Eric investigate this week as well as answer the age-old work meeting question: how many times can you "circle-back?" Also featured, two new segments including a check-in with Episode one star, Harry the Centaur.

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9 | He Went to Whitman's!

Thu, 04 Feb 2021 05:00:00 -0500

It's all about food this week as Matt and Eric get to the bottom of what makes brunch "brunch" and provide the definitive ranking of the chocolates in Russell Stover's Valentine's Day heart boxes. Plus: the return of Weird News

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8 | Jesus-esque

Thu, 21 Jan 2021 05:00:00 -0500

This week's questions focus on fictional biology and geography. Is the Kool Aid Man full of blood or pee? If a vampire bites a zombie (or vice versa), which one turns? In The Wizard of Oz, where does The Red Brick Road lead? Answers to all these questions plus local legends the Squonk and the Demon Truck of Seven Hills Road.

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7 | Ask Not For Whom the Nestle Tolls

Thu, 07 Jan 2021 05:00:00 -0500

Episode 7 expands on a familiar topic: baking. Specifically, Matt and Eric debate what the most consequential segment is on The Great British Bake Off. Plus: toy story mortality, which cookie is king, and new batch of local legends.

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6 | You Gotta Have That Christmas Pickle

Thu, 24 Dec 2020 05:00:00 -0500

In this special Christmas Eve episode, Matt and Eric share their Christmas traditions and tackle two big Christmas questions: what's the best way to decorate a tree? And should it be a real tree or a fake tree?

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5 | Gastonomics

Wed, 09 Dec 2020 22:00:00 -0500

Matt and Eric tackle the social and economic impact of Gaston's breakfast requirements, realize the incredible power implied by Ms. New Booty, and predict what Antique's Roadshow will be showcasing in 100 years. Plus a brand new segment called "Local Legends" and a special Ms. New Booty cover from actor Bob Harris circa 2009.

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4 | #Mayogate

Thu, 19 Nov 2020 05:00:00 -0500

Matt and Eric debut a new, Main Segment-less format and answer fan questions about pardoned turkeys, stuffing, coffee cake, and debate if cheesecake is, in fact, pie. The boys read weird news stories about high dolphins and a pea-counting competition.

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3 | Scrapple Virgin

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 05:00:00 -0500

Matt and Eric debut a new series: Unlikely Fights, the ultimate "who would win?" scenario you didn't ask for. First up is Bea Arthur versus Bob Ross. How did these two beloved American icons come to blows? Where does such an epic showdown take place? And most importantly: who is left standing? The boys also cover season-appropriate pies and weigh-in on how pumpkins perfect to die.

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2 | The Hero of Haddonfield

Thu, 22 Oct 2020 05:00:00 -0400

"How do horror villains spend their retirement?" Matt and Eric get to the bottom of what Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Pinhead, Chucky, and more are up to after their glory days are done. Plus: listener questions on nudists, bronies, Freaky Friday experiences, and the Boy Scouts.

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1 | A Centaur at Panera

Thu, 08 Oct 2020 05:00:00 -0400

In the debut episode of You Didn't Ask For This, Matt and Eric take far too close a look at what the implications of Pokemon in the real world would be...and it doesn't look good for humanity. They also answer the first batch of fan questions and read weird news from across the last century.

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Trailer - You Didn't Ask For This

Sun, 04 Oct 2020 22:00:00 -0400

The trailer you didn't ask for. "You Didn't Ask For This" premieres Thursday, 10/8.

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