Becoming Me

An Unexpected Break: Podcast and Personal Update

Tue, 05 May 2026 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 169

I've been quiet for the past month without an announced break. In this shorter episode I share with you the reason for my silence as well as an update about what's happening in the podcast.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Links to my recent Holy Week written sharings (mentioned in this episode):

To My Fellow Complex Trauma Survivors Who Struggle with Holy Week
A Good Friday Confession (I Don't Feel Anything)
Before You Ask Catholics to “Come Home” this Easter
Easter Hope for the Spiritually Traumatised

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Why Deconstruction is an Essential Part of Complex Trauma Recovery (with New Introduction)

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 168

In this re-sharing of a Season 10 episode, I explore why deconstruction is a necessary part of healing from complex trauma — especially for people of faith.

I define deconstruction as questioning assumptions we've never questioned before and opening up to new possibilities. I share three zones where I've experienced this:

1. Self-Identity — Differentiating between the survival "Role Self" I built to be accepted and my true "Core Self" that had been buried.

2. Familial & Cultural Values — Recognising how traditions and values handed down through my family facilitated harm and kept me silent.

3. Faith — Wrestling with the growing gap between who God revealed Himself to be in my healing journey and the God of my religious upbringing.

I also discuss why healing requires more than religious or doctrinal belief — it demands a deep, existential trust that we are held by a love greater than ourselves.

I close with reflection questions to help you identify where deconstruction may be showing up in your own journey. You don't need answers — just acknowledging the questions is powerful.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Introduction
4:08 Defining Deconstruction
5:53 Defining Deconstruction
10:11 3 Zones of Deconstruction
12:07 1. Self-Identity Deconstruction
18:43 2. Familial and Cultural Values Deconstruction
24:07 3. Faith and Religious Deconstruction
39:01 Existential Faith vs Religious or Doctrinal Assent
46:34 Questions for Pondering and Conclusion

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Deconstruction as Differentiation and Individuation

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 167

In this episode, I'm exploring deconstruction through the lens of differentiation and individuation—two psychological concepts that have profoundly shaped my faith journey.

For years, I related to Catholicism the way I related to my family of origin—with enmeshment, not healthy boundaries. I believed that closeness meant having no division, that love meant disappearing into the other. I carried this into my relationship with God, believing I had to disappear into Him rather than becoming fully myself.

In this episode, I talk about:

What differentiation and individuation mean in the context of faith
How enmeshment in family systems mirrors enmeshment with the Church
Why questioning and discernment are essential to mature faith
The difference between mystical oneness and emotionally healthy individuation
Learning to trust my own desires instead of fearing them
How healing from trauma is itself an act of differentiation

Watch this recording on YouTube.

RESOURCE

James Finley, The Healing Path: A Memoir and an Invitation

CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Why do some lose faith in God and some do not?
1:32 The Commenter's Argument
3:31 Deconstruction Beyond Intellect
8:13 James Finley's Story
14:01 Spiritual But Not Religious
17:42 When Personal Encounters Make God Real Beyond Doubt
21:32 Conflicting Imprints of God in the Nervous System
25:49 When Faith Depends on Constructs
41:30 Beyond the Visible Church
42:30 The Apophatic Tradition

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Tasting the Fruit of Healing from Emotionally Immature Parents

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 19:00:00 +0800

Episode 166

In this bonus mini-episode, I share what it's like to taste the fruit of a nine year long interior integration and healing process of my family of origin complex trauma. I describe in concrete terms what this feels like in my body and in the impact I see it has on the rest of my family. I hope this encourages those who are similar healing journeys!

Watch on YouTube here.

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Deconstructing: 'God' vs 'Christianity / Catholicism'

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 165

Have you ever wondered why some people deconstruct not only their religion but also their entire faith in God, while others deconstruct aspects of organised religion yet retain a relationship with the divine or even with the Christian God?

In this episode, I explore the distinction between deconstructing our notions of God and deconstructing the institutional aspects of faith like Christianity or Catholicism. Drawing from personal experience, I discuss how our individual deconstruction journeys unfold differently based on the depth of our personal encounters with God versus what we've been taught through religious tradition.

In this episode I discuss
• The difference between deconstructing religion vs. deconstructing God
• How personal mystical experiences shape our faith journey
• How conflicting imprints about God in our nervous systems can create an insecure, “disorganised” or confused attachment with God
• Understanding "spiritual but not religious" in the context of deconstruction
• The apophatic (mystical) tradition in Christianity

Watch this recording on YouTube.

RESOURCE

James Finley, The Healing Path: A Memoir and an Invitation

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How Moral Injury Can Lead to Deconstruction

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 164

In this episode, I talk about how moral injury can be connected to or trigger deconstruction. This is a topic that has been deeply significant in my own journey of interior integration and healing.

Moral injury is the damage done to one's conscience or moral compass when we perpetrate, witness, or fail to prevent acts that transgress our own moral beliefs and values. Originally studied in war veterans, this concept has helped me understand the trauma I've experienced in relation to the Catholic Church and spiritual harm.

I share how moral injury doesn't just happen when we're directly involved in something wrong—it can occur when we're spectators to injustice, when institutions we trust betray their stated values, or when spiritual leaders remain silent in the face of harm. I also explore how we often defend ourselves against moral injury through rationalisation, and how the journey of interior integration requires us to become more embodied and truthful about reality.

This episode is deeply personal as I reflect on my own experiences of deconstruction—not as a total loss of faith, but as a necessary dismantling of religious frameworks that could no longer hold the truth I was encountering in my relationship with God.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Introduction: Moral Injury and Deconstruction
2:41 What is Moral Injury?
3:26 Origins in War Veterans Studies
5:13 Moral Injury as Spectators
7:45 Current Events and Personal Experience
10:57 Betrayal by Spiritual Leaders
22:54 Cognitive Dissonance and Defense Mechanisms
31:23 Interior Integration Journey
33:42 Naming Harm in Family Relationships
42:39 Becoming Embodied and Seeing Truth
46:09 Deconstructing the Church
51:25 Relationship with God Through Deconstruction

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Why It's So Hard to Explain Deconstruction

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 163

In this episode, I dive into one of the most challenging aspects of deconstruction: trying to explain it to others who haven't experienced it themselves.

I respond to a thoughtful question from a follower about how to remain committed to the church while being honest about its limitations during deconstruction. But as I share, this question itself reveals the gap between those observing deconstruction from the outside and those living through it.

What I explore in this episode:

Why deconstruction can't be fully understood from an intellectual or conceptual level alone
How trauma plays a central role in the deconstruction process
Why it's impossible to "hold onto the good" while deconstructing—and why that's okay
The difference between critiquing the church and actually deconstructing your faith
Why deconstruction feels like drowning, like having your entire container of faith fall apart
How my own journey with family trauma mirrors my faith deconstruction

Deconstruction is disorganised, chaotic, and impossible to neatly explain even to ourselves. If you're going through this process, I hope you feel seen. If you're trying to understand someone who is, I hope this gives you compassion for how difficult it is to put into words.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Introduction
6:22 Unpacking a Follower's Question
11:21 Reading the Question
16:25 Deconstructing the Container, Not Just the Content
18:18 Seeing the Harm in Church Structures
37:22 You Can't Hold On While Letting Go
45:13 My Family of Origin Story
55:39 God Wants Freedom for Us
57:47 External Critique vs. Interior Journey
1:02:00 Closing Thoughts

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Deconstruction: A Trauma-Informed, Integrative and First-Hand Perspective

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 162

Welcome to my first episode of 2026! After a six-week break, I'm returning with greater clarity and readiness to share about a topic I've been living through: deconstruction.

In this episode, I'm opening up about my personal journey through deconstruction—not as an outside observer, but as someone who has walked (and is still walking) this difficult path.

What I Cover:

• Why lived experience matters when discussing deconstruction—and why resources from those who haven't gone through it often fall short

• The crucial connection between deconstruction and trauma that's often missing from conversations

• Why deconstruction is an embodied, multidimensional experience that can't be reduced to intellectual analysis alone

• The mystical dimension of deconstruction and what it means to leap into the abyss with no guarantees

• How deconstruction relates to spiritual midlife and the transition into the second half of life

• Why I had to be willing to let go of everything—even my identity as a "good Catholic"—to follow where Christ was leading

This is the beginning of a season exploring deconstruction from multiple angles. I'll be addressing questions listeners send me and diving into the many facets of this complex, painful, and ultimately transformative journey.

If you're going through deconstruction yourself, I hope this offers you some companionship and validation. If you're trying to understand what someone you love is experiencing, I hope this gives you insight into the depth and sacredness of this process.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 - Introduction: Why Now?
9:37 - The Importance of Lived Experience
21:01 - Deconstruction and Trauma
29:42 - Trauma-Informed Lens to Reactions Towards Deconstruction
38:01 - The Integrative Lens
44:24 - The Mystical Dimension
51:57 - No Guarantee in Deconstruction
56:45 - The Second Half of Life
1:01:25 - Closing Thoughts

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Grappling with Spiritual Abuse and Trauma in the “DNA” of the Catholic Church

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 161

What if the reason spiritual abuse is so rampant yet unrecognised in the Church is because these kind of dynamics have always been part of the way the Church existed in the world?

In this deeply personal episode, I talk about my journey awakening to and grappling with the legacy of spiritual abuse and trauma within the Catholic Church. I share the story of how I was led in my interior journey into deconstructing my old Self, the way I related to my family of origin and eventually my understanding of and relationship with my Catholic faith. I share how learning to recognise trauma, harm and abuse led me to wrestle with the integrity of what I believed and how that faith is embodied in the world.

This reflection offers an honest, bold and nuanced discussion on the complex interplay between faith and coercion in the 2,000 years of the history of the Church and how that impacts the way we live our faith out today. How can we as Church continue to undergo conversion from the legacy of coercion and spiritual abuse that has made up such a huge part of our intergenerational, collective and systemic trauma within the Catholic Church? Join me in this thought-provoking sharing!

Watch this recording on YouTube.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction and Personal Journey
01:14 Deconstructing Faith and Identity
03:52 Family of Origin and Trauma
09:10 Anger and Frustration with the Church
14:43 Historical Context of Church Coercion
19:21 Reconciling Faith and Church Authority
22:58 The Role of Conscience in Faith
24:15 Spiritual Abuse and Church Culture
46:03 Hope and Transformation in the Church
51:29 Conclusion

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Reconsidering Holiness: Saints, Trauma, and Spiritual Abuse

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 160

We know we’re called to holiness, that we’re called to be saints. But have we really grappled with what holiness means? With what becoming saints really mean? In my latest podcast episode I share how I have come to ask these questions in much more earnest after learning about how even canonised saints commit great harm to people, and how some of these harmful actions are even considered by many as part of holiness.

I dive into the concepts of sainthood and holiness, especially in light of personal experiences with trauma and spiritual abuse. Reflecting on the stories of saints like Padre Pio and Mother Teresa, I explore how their actions and the narratives surrounding them can impact our understanding of holiness. I encourage viewers to question and reconsider what it means to be holy, particularly from the perspective of embodied spiritual and emotional health.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

RESOURCES
The Turning: The Sisters Who Left
“The Turning”: The dark side of Mother Teresa’s order, according to nuns who left

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
00:30 Spiritual Abuse and Its Prevalence
02:07 Saints and Holiness: Personal Experiences
02:53 Padre Pio: Reverence and Controversy
11:41 Questioning Holiness and Spiritual Abuse
23:02 Mother Teresa: A Complex Legacy
33:56 Holiness, Love, and Abuse
44:24 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

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When Enmeshment Trauma Becomes Spiritually Abusive

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 159

In today's episode, we explore the intersection of enmeshment trauma and spiritual abuse. If you're new to the concept, enmeshment trauma occurs in families that are too close to the point where individual boundaries and self-identity are compromised. This episode delves into the signs and impacts of enmeshment trauma, such as poor boundaries, lack of self-identity, feeling overly responsible for others and constant seeking of approval.

I also discuss how these dynamics can lead to spiritual abuse within both families and faith communities, particularly through the misuse of authority and abuse of conscience. Offering insights and personal experiences, this episode aims to help you recognise and heal from these harmful patterns especially when they are cloaked in beautiful and ‘holy’ language such as ‘accountability’ and ‘fraternal correction’.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

RESOURCES

Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing (Book)

Holy Hurt (Podcast)

Understanding Enmeshment Trauma

Enmeshment in Family: Breaking Free from Unhealthy Closeness

CHAPTER MARKERS

00:00 Introduction
00:11 Understanding Enmeshment Trauma
02:33 Healthy Intimacy vs. Enmeshment
05:27 Spiritual and Religious Trauma
09:56 What is Enmeshment Trauma?
13:01 Personal Experiences and Cultural Context
13:47 Signs of Enmeshment Trauma
19:09 Impact of Enmeshment Trauma
25:54 Enmeshment in Faith Communities
32:19 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Healing and Repenting from Abuse of Conscience

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 158

In this episode, I continue the discussion on spiritual abuse by focusing on Abuse of Conscience. I share my personal journey of discovering this subtle yet pervasive form of abuse, how it affected my life, and my path to recognising my own role in it.

I discuss how my own spiritual trauma and distorted image of God fuelled my participation in this form of spiritual abuse and share how experiencing God's unconditional love has been crucial in my healing process both as a survivor and perpetrator of abuse of conscience.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

RESOURCES

What is Abuse of Conscience? (Podcast by Paul Fahey)

Abuse of Conscience (Presentation by Paul Fahey, Q&A with Fr Boniface Hicks)

Respecting Conscience in Catholicism (Paul Fahey with Amy Grey)

Conscience Invaders

The Place Where You Stand Is Holy Ground: Recognizing and Preventing Spiritual Abuse in the Catholic Church

CHAPTER MARKERS

00:00 Introduction
01:23 Resources on Abuse of Conscience
05:50 The Challenge of Accepting Abuse
08:47 Conscience in Catholic Teaching
14:01 Freedom and Consent in Moral Actions
17:41 About Mortal Sin
24:35 Personal Stories of Conscience Abuse
32:08 The Impact of Fear on Faith
42:13 Healing and Repenting from Abuse of Conscience
49:05 Final Thoughts and Invitation to Reflect

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Using Power and Influence in Non-Spiritually Abusive Ways

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 157

In this episode, I build on my last episode’s discussion of how culture, disembodied faith, and trauma contribute to an environment conducive to spiritual abuse. I delve into the responsible use of power and influence, sharing personal insights and experiences.

I discuss how, even with good intentions, we can unintentionally harm others by imposing ourselves and violating the sacred freedom of another person’s conscience that even God respects. I offer tips for exercising influence in a non-coercive and respectful manner, emphasising the importance of honouring each person's freedom and dignity.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS

00:00 Introduction
05:36 Personal Influence and Power Dynamics
09:54 Why So Hard to Recognise Spiritual Abuse
20:20 Tips for Respecting Others' Freedom
35:14 Conclusion and Reflection

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How Culture, Disembodied Faith and Trauma Facilitate Spiritual Abuse

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 156

In this episode, I delve into three factors that facilitate spiritual abuse, especially within the experience of many Catholics. Reflecting on a personal experience during a silent retreat, I explore how complex trauma, disembodied faith, and cultural influences create environments where spiritual abuse can easily occur.

I share insights on recognising these dynamics and discuss the importance of becoming trauma-informed to foster authentic spiritual maturity and embodied faith. This conversation aims to support individuals on their journey of healing and integration, helping them understand the systemic and personal elements contributing to spiritual abuse.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS

00:00 Introduction

06:02 Three Factors in the Set-Up for Spiritual Abuse

11:25 Cultural Influences on Spirituality

14:20 Silent Retreat Experience

25:48 Understanding Spiritual Maturity

28:05 The Role of Dreams in Spiritual Direction

28:57 Unknowingly Primed for Spiritual Abuse

31:30 Complex Trauma and Authority

36:25 Disembodied Faith

43:21 Recognising and Addressing Spiritual Abuse

49:43 Final Reflections and Encouragement

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Spiritual Abuse in Evangelisation and Discipleship (with Paul Fahey)

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 13:00:00 +0800

Episode 155

In this episode, Paul Fahey joins me in a pivotal conversation about spiritual abuse within the context of evangelisation and church communities. We share our journey from years of traditional evangelisation to a deeper understanding of the Great Commandments and how they relate to the Great Commission. We examine the importance of truly loving others as Christ loves us and how our distorted images of God can impact our relationships and evangelisation efforts.

We address the often-overlooked emotional and psychological abuses by those in spiritual authority and discuss what a healthy use of authority should look like. We also delve into the critical role of personal integrity and humility for those in spiritual leadership. This episode offers crucial insights into the ways we can foster a more loving and respectful approach to faith, evangelisation and discipleship.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

RESOURCES

Paul Fahey's Spiritual Abuse Workshop (Fall 2025)

Read Paul's excellent reflection: "One cannot proclaim God in a way contrary to God himself: Spiritual Abuse and Evangelisation"

Sherry Weddell’s book Forming Intentional Disciples: The Path to Knowing and Following Jesus

Catechesi Tradendae

Dignitatis Humanae

Pope Francis’ address to the Indigenous Peoples and Members of the Parish Community Sacred Heart

CHAPTER MARKERS

00:00 Introduction

03:29 Spiritual Abuse in Evangelisation

05:52 Introducing Paul Fahey

09:43 Personal Experiences and Reflections

14:18 The Role of Trust in Evangelisation

25:29 Coercion in Evangelisation

30:48 Subtle Forms of Coercion

44:45 Preferential Option for the Institution

50:26 Defining the End of Evangelisation

53:16 The Importance of Dignity and Freedom

55:23 Evangelisation vs. Proselytism

56:52 Intellectual Conversion vs. True Discipleship

58:15 Lack of Self-Awareness in Evangelisation

01:01:25 Corporate and Individual Responsibility

01:04:33 Historical Context of Church Authority

01:18:35 Healthy Use of Spiritual Authority

01:24:07 E

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Season 10 Wrap-up: Insights & Updates

Sat, 31 May 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 154

As I round off Season 10 of the Becoming Me podcast, here’s an overview of how my content has evolved together with the progression of my interior journey and some updates to address inquiries about my coaching offers. As I take a break from the podcast to recalibrate, I invite you to explore past episodes and continue engaging with my content on my other platforms. God bless and happy becoming!

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS

00:00 Introduction and Season 10 Wrap-Up
00:30 The Journey of Becoming Me
02:10 Exploring Trauma and Spiritual Abuse
05:13 Developmental Stages and Personal Growth
08:23 Challenges and Evolution in Coaching
10:01 The Quest for Self-Understanding
15:07 Integrating New Learnings
18:38 Conclusion and Future Plans

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Embraced by the Heart of God the Father (with Isaac Wicker)

Tue, 20 May 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 153

In this special episode about being securely loved by God the Father, I sit down with Isaac Wicker, a Catholic licensed therapist from Minnesota with a decade of mental health experience and host of the 'Whole Human' podcast. Isaac shares his unique upbringing in a deeply Catholic family in the Communion and Liberation Catholic movement, his transformative experiences, and his innovative 12-week program, 'Known: embraced by the Heart of the Father,' which integrates psychology and Catholic faith.

This conversation is an invitation to explore the security and ease that come from being securely loved by God the Father. I see myself and Isaac as representing two very different kinds of paths towards a secure attachment with God the Father - Isaac was blessed with the experience of secure attachment in childhood while I had to learn to have an “earned secure attachment” from deep healing and integration.

May this episode bring hope to listeners who struggle to feel safe with God the Father, even as it provides a glimpse of the freedom that being securely loved by the Father brings.

Isaac’s website | Known: Embraced by the Heart of the Father
Isaac’s Podcast | Whole Human

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS

[00:00] Introduction and Overview
[01:21] Meet the Guest: Isaac Wicker
[07:32] The Importance of Big Questions
[18:17] Isaac's Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics
[30:25] The Importance of Secure Attachment in Repentance
[38:37] Embodying Faith Organically as a Therapist
[51:31] Focusing on Loving vs Fixing Someone
[58:32] The Journey of Becoming
[01:00:14] Operating Outside the Boxes of Psychology and Religion
[01:14:38] The Known Program: Healing with God the Father
[01:22:50] The Importance of Showing Up and Being Honest
[01:31:40] Conclusion and Final Thoughts

REFLECTION PROMPT
What has been your relationship with failure and repentance? Do you tend to move toward sorrow and repair, or get caught in shame? Where do you think that pattern comes from?
If you could sit with God the Father today, what would you say or ask, with no pressure to have it together?

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How Pope Francis Kept My Heart Open to the Catholic Church (When I Was Deconstructing)

Tue, 06 May 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 152

In this deeply personal episode, I explore the impact of Pope Francis' recent passing, especially how he became a bridge of trust during my period of intense interior deconstruction. Over the past decade, I've grappled with my Catholic faith, my relationship with the church, and undergone a profound journey of inner healing.

I share how Pope Francis’ actions and witness offered me a path through complex trauma and relational betrayals, both familial and institutional. This episode is dedicated to my fellow trauma survivors who struggle with their faith, relationships, and especially with the institutional Church.

Navigating Holy Week Through Spiritual Trauma and Healing

Wed, 16 Apr 2025 13:00:00 +0800

Episode 151 (Bonus)

In this special bonus episode for Holy Week, I share a deeply personal and vulnerable story about my journey through spiritual trauma and healing. Last year, I wrote an open letter on my personal blog, disclosing the challenges I've faced and continue to face as a complex trauma survivor within the Catholic faith.

From experiencing physical symptoms of distress during Mass to grappling with deeply ingrained religious guilt, I invite you to witness my journey towards understanding, acceptance, and integration. I hope my story resonates with others who struggle with similar feelings during Holy Week, providing language, comfort, and a sense of solidarity.

Additionally, I offer practical suggestions for seeking support, emphasizing the importance of trauma-informed care within spiritual and therapeutic frameworks. God meets us exactly where we are, and this episode is an invitation to take that first step towards healing.

Read My Blogposts:

To My Fellow Complex Trauma Survivors Who Struggle with Holy Week

A Good Friday Confession (I Don’t Feel Anything)

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
02:21 A Vulnerable Self-Disclosure
07:41 The Letter Begins
13:55 Waking Up to Anger and My Body Saying "No"
16:49 Trauma Mingled with Faith
19:42 Dying (To Ego) Into Authentic Love
21:27 Entering Christ's Wounds Through My Wounds
23:12 Why Holy Week Can Be Re-traumatising for Trauma Surviors
26:00 Letting God Love Me Through Self-Love
28:30 New Trauma-Informed Wine Skins Needed
29:54 What Can Trauma Survivors Do To Support Ourselves?
33:13 Final Thoughts
36:02 Conclusion

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Reclaiming Our Dignity: Healing from Spiritual Abuse (with Paul Fahey)

Sun, 13 Apr 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 150

In this heartfelt conversation, I sit down with Paul Fahey, a limited licensed professional counselor, retreat leader, and catechist from Michigan, USA. Paul shares insights from his work in pastoral counseling for Catholics who have been spiritually abused and his efforts to educate ministers to be more equipped in their ministry. We delve into the complex nature of spiritual and religious trauma, the importance of language in healing from trauma, and the profound teachings of the Catholic Church on human dignity.

Through personal stories and shared experiences, we explore the critical theme of dignity, how trauma affects our understanding of love and self-worth, and the necessity of creating safe spaces within or away from the Church for healing and authentic connection.

This episode offers a rich and thought-provoking discussion on how we can reclaim our dignity and experience God's chaste, non-controlling love in the midst of a fallen world.

Visit Paul Fahey’s website here.
Documents quoted by Paul:

Read my newsletter post Lament, Hope & Healing: Resources on Spiritual Abuse.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction to Paul Fahey
01:12 Discussing Trauma and Spiritual Abuse
05:53 Exploring Human Dignity in Church Teachings
10:32 Understanding Spiritual Authority and Coercion
35:51 Chastity and Non-Possessive Love
47:33 Healing from Spiritual Coercion
53:45 Struggling with Faith and Depression
56:14 Journey Out of Depression
58:29 Role of a Catechist and Therapist
59:50 The Importance of Experiencing Non-controlling Love
01:01:40 Experiencing God's Reverence
01:04:00 The Concept of Theosis
01:11:51 Challenges in the Church
01:15:44 Accompanying Ourselves in Healing
01:32:03 Forgiveness Demands Justice for the Victim
01:37:22 Wrestling with the Lack of Safety in Church
01:42:24 Reality is Greater than Ideas
01:44:35 Final Thoughts and Gratitude

REFLECTION PROMPT
How have I experienced coerci

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Five Reasons Why Catholic / Christian Trauma Survivors Struggle with Healing

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 149

In this episode, I delve into the unique challenges that Catholic and Christian trauma survivors face in their healing journeys. Drawing from my own experiences and observations, I outline five specific reasons why faith can often complicate trauma recovery for believers.

From the difficulty of accepting abuse within 'good' religious families, to the guilt around naming harm and the complexities of forgiveness, I discuss the psychological and spiritual hurdles that can impede healing. Join me as I explore how religious convictions, while deeply meaningful, sometimes inadvertently obstruct the path to recovery.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
[00:00] Introduction to the Podcast
[00:04] Challenges for Catholic and Christian Trauma Survivors
[02:15] Reason 1: Difficulty Admitting Abuse in Religious Contexts
[11:36] Reason 2: Unrecognised Abusive Dynamics
[17:12] Reason 3: The Pressure to Forgive
[22:37] Reason 4: Guilt in Naming Harm
[27:09] Reason 5: Distrust of Secular Resources
[34:43] The Impact of Religious Convictions on Healing
[35:58] Conclusion and Invitation to Reflect

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you resonate with any of these reasons outlined in this episode?
If yes: Which reason(s) do you resonate with? What do you observe about its impact in your healing journey?
If no: How did you feel listening to this episode? Are there other reasons you can identify from your own experience?

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What Do We Do When the Healing Journey Overwhelms Us?

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 148

In this episode, I address a profound question from a long-time podcast listener and religious sister in Southeast Asia regarding her healing journey. We explore the intricacies of feeling productive and empowered at times, facing moments of deep uncertainty and doubt at others, and when questions of authenticity, accountability, and integrity become overwhelming.

I break down the layers of her experience from a coaching perspective, discussing the sensation of overwhelm, life scripts centered around productivity, internal family systems (IFS) theory, and the stages of faith development from the Critical Journey model. This episode is rich with insights into the interior journey of healing and integration, emphasising the importance of giving oneself permission to feel, pause, and go at the pace we need in the interior journey.

RESOURCES

Book on Amazon
The Critical Journey, Stages in the Life of Faith

YouTube / Podcast
Stages of Maturing Faith: Insights From "The Critical Journey”
Personal Vocation Discernment through the Stages of Faith

Watch this episode's recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
[00:00] Introduction and Listener's Question
[00:38] Context and Background
[01:04] Reading the Listener's Question
[02:25] Breaking Down the Question
[03:53] Observations and Insights
[05:43] Understanding Overwhelm and Productivity Scripts
[11:30] Internal Family Systems (IFS) Explanation
[20:03] Stages of Faith Development
[31:08] Final Thoughts and Encouragement

REFLECTION PROMPT
How would you describe your relationship with (i) Productivity and (ii) Uncertainty? What are some scripts that you might have in moments of overwhelm and uncertainty? Which stage of the Critical Journey is currently the most prominent for you in your journey?

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"They Did Their Best" Can Harm More Than Help

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 147

In this episode, I discuss a common challenge faced by complex trauma survivors: the notion that those who harmed us did the best they could. I emphasise why it's crucial not to accept this idea too early in the healing process.

We need to focus on acknowledging the harm and injustice inflicted upon us before considering the limitations and reasons why our abusers acted the way they did. This is a journey of radical honesty and acceptance, facing uncomfortable truths without bypassing our emotions.

Join me as I explore why truth is essential for healing from trauma and how to reframe our understanding of love and compassion.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
[00:00] Introduction
[02:00] Internalising Dissonance and Self-Blame
[03:13] Scripts and Roles for Survival
[04:37] The Capacity for Love and Attunement
[08:07] Holding Opposing Truths
[10:06] The Importance of Radical Honesty
[18:21] Navigating the Healing Journey
[24:36] Radical Acceptance vs. Resignation
[27:52] Concluding Thoughts and Encouragement

REFLECTION PROMPT
Notice if there were any particular sensations in your body as you listened to this episode. Which segments might they have been in response to?
What relationships in your life might you have noticed difficulty in holding opposing truths, or may have been told or thought that those who had harmed you “did their best”?

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Why Deconstruction is an Essential Part of Complex Trauma Recovery

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 146

In this episode, I delve into the challenging and often misunderstood topic of deconstruction, especially for those of us healing from complex trauma as persons of faith.

I share my own journey and how deconstruction has been an essential part of my healing process. We'll define what deconstruction means in this context and explore the three zones where I experienced it: Self-Identity, Family and Cultural Values, and Faith. Despite its inherent risk, deconstruction is a necessary and important part of the journey towards wholeness and a more secure faith in God.

I hope my sharing reassures those of you on the healing journey that your experience of deconstruction or “undoing” is an integral and hopeful part of the healing process even if very few people in your life can understand you.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
[00:00] Introduction
[01:44] Defining Deconstruction
[06:03] 3 Zones of Deconstruction
[07:59] 1. Self-Identity Deconstruction
[14:34] 2. Familial and Cultural Values Deconstruction
[19:58] 3. Faith and Religious Deconstruction
[34:53] Existential Faith vs Religious or Doctrinal Assent
[42:26] Questions for Pondering and Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Which ‘zones’ have you begun to experience deconstruction in? What are the fundamental questions you are asking right now which you had never asked before?

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Experiencing Setbacks in our Healing from Complex Trauma

Tue, 04 Feb 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 145

In this episode, I open up about the challenges of experiencing setbacks in the healing journey. I share a recent personal experience that triggered a significant emotional response and discuss the importance of recognizing and managing these setbacks. By acknowledging the dynamics of our internal responses, such as through the lens of Internal Family Systems and complex trauma, I hope to offer support and validation for those feeling disheartened by setbacks. I seek to share a reminder that setbacks are a normal part of healing. Join me as I share honest reflections from my ongoing journey with you.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
[00:00] Introduction and Context
[02:55] Patterns in the Interior Integration Journey
[04:46] Personal Sharing of Dysregulation Experience
[08:41] Setbacks Happen and It's Normal
[09:53] Navigating Recovery from Setbacks and Seeking Support
[16:45] God's Presence and Grace in the Healing Journey
[20:31] Conclusion and Encouragement

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have there been times where you experienced setbacks in your healing journey? What cues did you notice about your internal responses, and in your body?
What resources did you have, or wish(ed) to have, to help you recover from setbacks?

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When You Harm Others In Spite of Your Best Intentions

Tue, 21 Jan 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 144

In this episode, I share a deeply personal story about the painful moment when I realized that having faith and spiritual practices alone couldn't save me from the dysfunctional patterns in my life.

I discuss the inadvertent impact of unconscious complex trauma, the harm of spiritual abuse, and the significance of human integration in the healing journey. This reflection highlights the importance of seeking broader resources beyond faith practices in the journey toward wholeness in healing. This may include developing insight on psychological and family dynamics. I hope this sharing makes you feel less alone and provides hope on your path to becoming more integrated and whole.

In the previous episode, I introduced an invaluable workshop presented by Paul Fahey, focusing on recognising, preventing, and responding to spiritual abuse in the Catholic context. Join me in exploring this significant resource—check the show notes for more information and a link to the workshop.

Link to Register for Spiritual Abuse Workshop.
Read Paul Fahey’s article on Spiritual Abuse in the Catholic Church.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
[00:00:36] Lack of Awareness and Spiritually Abusive Behaviours
[00:01:23] Personal Story on Spiritual Abuse
[00:02:27] Gaps in Human Formation and Integration
[00:06:07] Impact of Gaps in Integration: Poor Boundaries
[00:07:38] Impact of Gaps in Integration: Insecurities and Burnout
[00:10:15] Impact of Gaps in Integration: Performing and Pushing for Perfection
[00:12:13] The Wake-Up Call that I Had Harmed Others
[00:14:12] On Realizing that I Had Been Spiritually Abusive
[00:15:45] Trauma and Toxic Shame
[00:17:44] 'Waking Up' to the Integration Journey
[00:19:17] Acknowledging Our Context with Compassion
[00:24:52] Embodied Faith
[00:28:56] Encouragement for Listeners
[00:31:14] Conclusion and Final Thoughts

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you had an encounter or experience where you realised that you were harming someone when you were only intending to love them to the best of your ability? How did you respond to that realisation?

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Learn About Spiritual Abuse in a Catholic Setting (Resource Sharing)

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 143

In this episode, I briefly discuss the importance of understanding spiritual abuse, particularly if you're on a healing journey from trauma and its effects on your relationship with God. I outline three major reasons why learning about spiritual abuse is crucial: it helps identify and heal from obstacles in our relationship with God, prevents the inadvertent perpetuation of abuse, and enhances accountability and responsibility, especially for those in leadership positions within the Catholic Church.

I also introduce an invaluable workshop presented by Paul Fahey, focusing on recognising, preventing, and responding to spiritual abuse in the Catholic context. Join me in exploring this significant resource—check the show notes for more information and a link to the workshop.

Link to Register for Spiritual Abuse Workshop: https://www.catholicthirdspace.com/p/spiritual-abuse-workshop-7b6

Read Paul Fahey’s article on Spiritual Abuse in the Catholic Church: https://wherepeteris.com/resources/the-place-where-you-stand-is-holy-ground/

Watch this recording on YouTube .

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:31 The Impact of Trauma on Faith
02:14 Reasons to Learn About Spiritual Abuse
03:58 The Systemic Nature of Spiritual Abuse
05:25 Introducing a Valuable Resource
06:56 Personal Reflections and Endorsements
08:14 How to Join the Workshop
08:40 Final Thoughts and Farewell

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
What do you know about spiritual abuse in your own life? Can you think of any spiritual experiences where you had felt like an important boundary was violated but you could not name what it was?

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How Does God Heal Complex Trauma?

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 142

In this episode, I delve into an intriguing question posed by one of my listeners: Can healing of complex trauma happen through a personal encounter with God where He reveals His true nature to us?

Building on a previous video that discussed how healing complex trauma transforms our image of God, I explore the multidimensional aspects of such healing. I share insights from my personal faith journey, emphasising that while direct, mystical experiences with God can indeed be a significant part of healing, they are only one facet.

I discuss the importance of healing through safe relationships with other creatures, including pets, and the crucial process of repairing our relationship with ourselves. This episode highlights the interconnectedness of our relationships with God, ourselves, and others in the journey towards holistic healing from complex trauma.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
01:04 Context
03:28 Viewer's Question
05:33 Pre-Response Notes on Interdisciplinary Perspective and Complex Trauma
09:12 Short Response: One Dimension of Healing
10:40 Extended Response: Other Dimensions of Healing
14:31 What Healing Is
17:33 Healing Through Direct Encounters with God
18:35 Healing Through Safe Relationships with Creation
22:24 Healing the Relationship with Oneself
24:02 Impact of Complex Trauma on the Relationship with Self, Prayer, and Trust
29:16 How A Broken Relationship with Self Impacts Relationship with God
35:25 God's Presence, and Interconnectedness in the Dimensions of Healing
38:52 Response Summary
39:24 Concluding Thoughts
40:40 Podcast Plans and Updates

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced God revealing his loving nature to you in a direct, unmediated encounter before? Have you experienced God loving you through a safe and loving relationship with another person or creature? Have you experienced how healing your relationship with yourself has deepened your ability to connect with others?

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How Healing Complex Trauma Transforms Our Image of God

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 141

In this episode, I delve into how our healing from complex trauma also heals our image of God. Drawing from my own experiences since 2008, I discuss three types of trauma—emotional neglect, emotional/spiritual abuse, and enmeshment trauma—and their impact on our relationship with God.

I explain how authentic love and healing can reshape these distorted images, drawing on personal stories and insights to illustrate this transformative process. I also address the challenges and fears that come with such profound changes in our understanding and experience of God. Join me as I share this deeply personal and challenging journey towards healing and a more authentic relationship with God.

Watch this recording on YouTube .

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
03:04 Healing the Image of God
03:24 A Personal Healing Journey
04:34 The Impact of Complex Trauma
13:47 Understanding Emotional Neglect
20:36 The Effects of Emotional and Spiritual Abuse
25:11 Enmeshment Trauma and Its Consequences
26:16 Understanding Enmeshment Trauma
27:17 The Impact of Spiritual Abuse
30:01 Healing Through Authentic Love
31:33 Rewriting Our Story with God
36:48 Embracing Emotional Freedom
41:05 Navigating the Healing Journey
47:16 The Role of the Holy Spirit in Healing
52:09 Concluding Thoughts on Healing and Growth

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?

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How Complex Trauma Impacts Spiritual Discernment

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 140

In this episode, I explore how complex trauma affects our ability to make spiritual discernment by making it difficult for us to have "holy indifference". Often times we know we struggle to have that detachment we need to make a good discernment, but we don't realise that our difficulties may not be due to spiritual failings but because of the wounds in our embodied emotional capacity for authentic, secure love.

I discuss the importance of a secure attachment with God, the impact of trauma on our nervous system, how that affects our interior freedom, and how healing and integration can restore interior freedom in the discernment process.

Watch this recording on YouTube .

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Trauma and Spiritual Discernment
04:43 What Discernment Isn't
14:28 How Trauma Impacts Discernment
18:26 How Healing Transforms Discernment

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Is your experience of spiritual discernment one of deep security and detachment or are you often anxious about "making the correct discernment"? Can you identify one way in which complex trauma has affected the way you approach spiritual discernment?

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How can I experience the unconditional love of God?

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 139

In this episode, I address a thought-provoking question from one of my subscribers who asked how can we experience the unconditional love of God. I delve into the concept of embodied spirituality, underscoring the indispensability of involving our entire being—body, senses, and soul—in our spiritual journey to connect with God's love more authentically.

I share practical methods to engage with God in daily life which serve as pathways to recognise and feel His presence more tangibly. Moreover, I distinguish between feeling loved by God and truly soaking in His unconditional love. I discuss the significant role of psychological healing in experiencing God's love, highlighting techniques like inner child reparenting and the Internal Family Systems theory for deeper self-acceptance and love.

I conclude by inviting viewers to embrace living the questions of their spiritual journey, focusing less on the unhealed parts of themselves and more on remaining attentive and responsive to God's ongoing presence and invitations to healing in our lives.

Watch this recording on YouTube .

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you asked God to let you experience his unconditional love? Do you do so regularly? (It is perhaps the simplest and most important prayer for our healing and integration journey!)

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How Interior Integration helps us with our Fear of Criticism

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 138

In this personal narrative, I discuss my journey as a recovering complex trauma survivor, grappling with a deep-seated fear of criticism, judgment, and rejection, and how these fears intersect with my faith and my walk with Christ.

I explore the concept of interior integration and the realisation that my fear of criticism was not just about a lack of faith, but a signal of deeper issues stemming from complex trauma and a lack of secure attachment with both myself and God.

This sharing highlights my shift from viewing my fears through a purely spiritual lens to embracing a more integrated approach that incorporates psychological insight. I reflect on the importance of establishing boundaries, cultivating self-compassion, and adopting an embodied spirituality that brings healing to our relationship with God and ourselves.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
02:10 Spiritual vs. Integrated Approaches
06:57 Healing Through Integration and Boundaries
19:51 Overcoming Fear of Criticism
22:52 The Power of Love and Secure Attachment

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Are you very easily affected by praise or criticism too? What new perspective from this episode did you find helpful in your struggles with fearing criticism?

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Personal Vocation Discernment through the Stages of Faith

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 137

In this episode, I delve into the journey of personal vocation discernment across different stages of faith, inspired by the book 'The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith'. I share my insights on how our inner journey and the process of discerning our personal calling evolves from the initial stages of discovering God, moving through discipleship and productivity, to questioning, doubt and interior wrestling, and finally towards a deeper integration and living out our vocation.

Watch this recording on YouTube.
Book: The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my newsletter Begin Again for written reflections about the interior journey.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
How have you been approaching the discernment of your personal vocation? How has this episode given you new insight to your own journey and experience of discernment?

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Podcast Update and Welcome to New Listeners

Fri, 30 Aug 2024 15:00:00 +0800

Bonus Episode 136

In this episode, I share some updates as my subscriber count has grown across various platforms. Whether you're new to my content or a long-time follower, I introduce myself, my journey, and my mission behind creating content to support the interior integration journey of deepening intimacy with God and psychological and emotional healing.

I discuss the integration of intellectual and relational dimensions of faith, my personal experiences, and how they shape my content. I'll also provide updates on future content consolidation, my evolving journey, and why there might be a slower pace of new content in the near future. Your support and prayers during this time mean a lot to me. Let's continue this journey together!

Watch this recording on YouTube.

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What's the Difference between Spiritual Fervour and Spiritual Maturity?

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 135

In this episode, I delve into the transition many of us experience from spiritual fervour to spiritual maturity, especially during deep healing and integration. I discuss the differences between these stages, focusing on their characteristics and how we respond to suffering.

By sharing my personal experiences and insights into the stages of faith development, I aim to reassure you that losing initial spiritual passion is a natural part of maturing in faith. Join me as I offer a look at how this journey helps us love more like God does. I hope this gives you hope and a new perspective on your spiritual path.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction to Spiritual Midlife Crisis
05:05 Personal Journey Through Spiritual Crisis
06:40 Discovering New Ways to Connect with God
10:31 Navigating Spiritual Desert and Rediscovery
18:19 Encountering Spiritual Midlife: A Turning Point
21:22 Exploring the Midlife Spiritual Journey
22:28 The Critical Journey: Understanding Spiritual Midlife
23:59 The Wall: The Place of Crisis
24:50 Integration and Healing: The Core of Spiritual Midlife
28:44 Seeking Support and Resources During Spiritual Midlife
38:07 The Importance of Trauma-Informed Support
40:09 Embracing Uncertainty and Transformation
41:16 Finding Your Path and Support in Spiritual Midlife

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?

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A Trauma-Informed Perspective to Spiritual Growth (with Edwina Yeow)

Tue, 20 Aug 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 134

Join me in this candid episode as I engage in a heartfelt conversation with trauma-informed and somatic-trained Catholic spiritual guide Edwina Yeow, founder of Anam Cara Ministries (Singapore). We delve into the deep connection between trauma, spirituality, and our relationship with God. Edwina, a seasoned Catholic spiritual director with 30 years of experience, shares invaluable insights on integrating spiritual direction, psychology, and somatic awareness to address trauma’s impact on our relationship with God.

We discuss the importance of involving the body in spiritual healing and the role trauma plays in shaping our religious scripts. This episode encourages a spirit of curiosity towards healing, self-love, and deeper intimacy with God through a trauma-informed perspective.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my newsletter Begin Again for written reflections about the interior journey.

RESOURCES
Edwina Yeow's website.
Other episodes with Edwina Yeow

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Which part of this conversation resonated with you the most? What could God be inviting you to ponder with him in your heart about the fears you have of losing his love for you?

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Journeying Through Spiritual Midlife Crisis

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 01:00:00 +0800

Episode 133

In this episode, I share my personal experience with spiritual midlife crisis.

I share about the difficult and transformative phases of my journey, including moments of doubt, deep introspection, and the deconstruction of my previously held beliefs and practices. Through this challenging journey, I discovered crucial resources that guided me to understand the stages of faith development and the significance of the 'Wall', a pivotal point in one's spiritual midlife.

I emphasise the importance of integrating one's emotional and spiritual aspects and the crucial role of seeking support through spiritual direction and psychotherapy.

Resource:
The Critical Journey, Stages in the Life of Faith by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. Guelich
Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life by Richard Rohr
When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life's Sacred Questions by Sue Monk Kidd

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
See episode page for more details.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
How have you experienced God's grace in moments of difficulty? In what ways do you need to trust that His grace is sufficient for your current challenges? Are there moments when you feel like you can’t keep going? How can you show yourself compassion during these times, knowing that it’s normal to feel this way? Remind yourself of God's compassion when you're feeling discouraged and trust in God, even when others don’t fully grasp what you’re going through.

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Stages of Maturing Faith: Insights From "The Critical Journey"

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 132

In this episode, I introduce and share reflections from “The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith," by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. Guelich. This remarkable resource opened my eyes to the stages of faith development, reinforcing the crucial role of experiential learning and integrating emotional healing with spiritual growth.

I share insights from each of the six stages described in the book, weaving in reflections on my own progression and the introspective challenges encountered, especially the profound impact of confronting 'The Wall' in Stage 4.

My aim is to offer solace by sharing my story and insights on navigating the complex landscapes of faith, hoping it will resonate with others on their own spiritual journeys, encouraging them towards embracing their path with understanding and compassion.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:22) - Introduction
(00:00:59) - Resource Introduction
(00:02:05) - Discovering "The Critical Journey"
(00:05:05) - Stages of Faith Development
(00:13:50) - Stage 1: Recogition of God
(00:15:09) - Stage 2: Life of Discpleship
(00:17:34) - Stage 3: The Productive Life
(00:22:13) - Stage 4: The Journey Inward
(00:35:06) - Stage 5: The Journey Outward
(00:38:30) - Stage 6: Life of Love
(00:48:13) - Final Thoughts
(00:49:24) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Reflect on your own journey towards healing and integration. How has your awareness evolved over time? Consider how your ability to serve others has changed. Who are you best able to support now compared to the past? Recall moments when you felt truly seen and understood in your struggles. What made those moments significant?

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Journeying Towards A More Embodied and Authentic Faith

Tue, 30 Jul 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 131

In this episode, I share my personal journey from having a disembodied faith, which was largely intellectual and disconnected from my emotional and physical experiences, to developing an embodied faith that integrates my beliefs with all aspects of my life. I delve into what disembodied faith means, why many of us experience faith this way, and the transformative process towards embodying our faith.

Through my own story of interior healing and integration, I highlight three key signs that indicate a shift towards a more incarnate, lived faith, emphasising the importance of embracing the messiness and challenges of this journey. The goal is to offer hope and understanding for those on the path to a more holistic and authentic experience of faith.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00:25) - Introduction
(00:03:52) - What is "Disembodied Faith"?
(00:10:47) - Why is our Faith Disembodied?
(00:15:27) - Three Signs of Disembodied Faith
(00:15:36) - Preoccupation with Understanding the Content of our Faith
(00:17:13) - Discrepancies Start to Bother Us
(00:19:39) - We are more Drawn to People in Touch with their Humanity
(00:21:06) - You can't Force on Yourself the "Right Thing"
(00:24:09) - Befriending our Emotions
(00:27:31) - Not being Afraid of Criticism
(00:30:42) - Secure in Love
(00:40:00) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?

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Distinguishing Between Self-Abandonment and Authentic Self-Gift

Tue, 23 Jul 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 130

In this episode, I share my deep personal reflections on what it means to lay down my life in alignment with Christ, but without feeling lesser for it. Growing up in an enmeshed family system with rigid expectations of selflessness, ingrained through my Catholic upbringing, I faced challenges in understanding genuine self-sacrifice.

I discuss the subtle yet critical difference between self-abandonment—a state that breeds resentment and diminishes self-worth—and genuine self-gift which is free and joyful, enriching both myself and others.

My aim is to guide listeners on a path towards emotional health and authentic self-giving, highlighting the impact on family, faith, and self-perception of our ability to love authentically.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction: Reflecting on Self-Sacrifice and Authentic Living
00:37 Exploring the Roots: Family, Faith, and Self-Perception
01:35 The Struggle with Self-Abandonment and Seeking Approval
04:45 Discovering the Difference: Self-Abandonment vs. Self-Gift
07:38 The Journey Towards Emotional Health and Authentic Self-Gift
11:15 Understanding Self-Abandonment: Signs and Consequences
19:36 Embracing Self-Gift: The Path to Freedom and Joy
28:44 Conclusion: The Power of Authentic Self-Gift and Healing

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?

Support the show

Why Not Going To Church Can Be A Trauma Response (with Brya Hanan LMFT)

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 129

In this episode, I engage in a deep and meaningful conversation with Catholic author and trauma therapist Brya Hanan. We delve into the complexities of trauma, particularly how it intersects with our faith journey. We explore how experiencing a resistance to going to church and attending mass can be a trauma response, and the importance of compassion and understanding in addressing these issues. This conversation aims to open up a space for greater empathy and curiosity about the unseen struggles of others, offering hope and guidance for those grappling with trauma in their spiritual lives.

GUEST PROFILE: BRYA HANAN LMFT

Watch this recording on YouTube.

RESOURCES ON SPIRITUAL TRAUMA
Trauma in the Pews: The Impact on Faith and Spiritual Practices by Janyne McConnaughey, PhD.
The Lord Is My Shepherd: Stepping Through the Shadows of Fear Toward the Voice of Love by KJ Ramsey
The Holy/Hurt Podcast by Dr. Hillary L McBride

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:22) - Introduction
(00:00:51) - Special Guest: Brya Hanan, Catholic Trauma Therapist
(00:01:46) - Personal Journey of Faith and Trauma
(00:03:24) - Understanding Trauma Responses
(00:05:31) - Reconnecting with Faith
(00:06:18) - The Impact of Trauma in a Church Setting
(00:08:26) - What Inner Child Healing Can Do
(00:11:43) - Integrating Therapy and Faith
(00:15:39) - Being Trauma-Informed
(00:24:20) - Trauma and Religious Practices
(00:33:45) - Understanding Our Bodies
(00:34:09) - Can I Will Myself? Is it all in my Mind?
(00:36:00) - The Impact of Trauma Responses
(00:43:49) - What goes on Behind the Scenes with Trauma
(00:47:22) - Integrating Faith and Holistic Healing
(00:51:47) - Useful Resources
(00:54:38) - Final Thoughts

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you been struggling with going to mass or with something similar? Do you notice how your body feels and reacts? This could be an impact of trauma. Has there anything else in this episode that speaks to you?

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Embracing Complexity: Rediscovering Faithfulness In The Healing Journey

Tue, 04 Jun 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 128

In this final episode of the season, I share how my understanding of faithfulness has evolved as I healed. Initially, my understanding of faithfulness was deeply rooted in a binary, performance-based perspective, influenced by my cultural and religious upbringing. I viewed it as a straightforward measure of adherence to a set of religious practices and moral standards, essentially a checklist that delineated a clear boundary between being faithful and unfaithful.

This perspective was challenged and eventually transformed through a journey of interior healing and unlearning, prompted by encounters with others who shared their struggles and a pivotal personal retreat that revealed the inadequacy of my foundational beliefs about faithfulness. I came to realise that faithfulness is not about meeting a predefined set of criteria perfectly but about authentic engagement with God's love and grace amidst our imperfections.

This new understanding of faithfulness as dynamic, multi-layered, and diverse in expression, deeply influenced by personal context and inner disposition, has significantly altered how I perceive myself and others, fostering a more compassionate and nuanced view of our collective striving towards faithfulness.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:02:01) - The Importance of Conviction and Integration
(00:07:20) - The Role of Trauma in Personal Growth
(00:10:21) - Virtue and Emotion Regulation
(00:11:51) - The Struggle of Living Out Convictions
(00:13:58) - God's Love in Personal Transformation
(00:25:58) - The Challenge of Living Out Conovictions in Relationships
(00:26:59) - The Journey of Healing and Integration
(00:29:52) - The Role of Discernment in the Interior Journey
(00:43:20) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced being full of passion and conviction about the kind of life you want to live while realising that you don't have the power to make that conviction a reality in your life? Can you identify how a lack of integration may be the reason for that?

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Finding Self-Love Amidst Compulsions & Addictions

Tue, 28 May 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 127

In this podcast episode, I open up about a deeply personal and often stigmatised issue - my struggle with compulsions and addictions. I discuss how these issues are not only challenging to confront but are also shrouded in shame and secrecy, particularly when they deal with substance abuse or sex.

Drawing from my experiences, I reflect on the societal pressure to maintain an image of responsibility and control, and how even socially acceptable compulsions, like binge-watching TV or overworking, can trigger feelings of shame. I share the profound impact that self-criticism and a lack of compassion have had on my journey, emphasising the pivotal role of interior integration in my healing process.

Through exploring concepts like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the importance of understanding the underlying trauma behind compulsive behaviors, I advocate for a compassionate approach to oneself. The episode highlights my transformation towards self-love, emphasising that divine love and self-compassion are crucial for overcoming compulsions and addictions and finding wholeness.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:21) - Introduction
(00:01:36) - The Shame of Compulsions and Addictions
(00:02:49) - Personal Struggles and Shame
(00:06:05) - The Cycle of Addiction and Repentance
(00:11:34) - Experiencing God's Unconditional Love
(00:15:41) - The Role of Self-Compassion
(00:28:16) - Internal Family Systems (IFS)
(00:29:07) - 1. Managers
(00:29:50) - 2. Exiles
(00:30:48) - 3. Firefighters
(00:37:15) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you ever found yourself in similar patterns of compulsion? Are you able to recognise the root of these addictions and compulsions? Think about some of the ways you have been using certain compulsions and habits to escape unpleasantness in your life. Is there a better way?

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Embracing Your True Self & Making Authentic Connections

Tue, 21 May 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 126

In this episode, I delve into a poignant question raised during a webinar Q&A session about whether connecting with oneself inevitably enhances our connections with others, especially when expressing our true selves might not be warmly accepted by everyone.

I unravel the complexities surrounding authentic connections, emphasising the significance of embracing our true selves for genuine interactions and personal growth. I reflect on personal experiences and the challenges of maintaining authenticity in relationships.

I explore the indicators of growth on this journey, highlighting the fruits of the Holy Spirit as markers of deep, authentic self-connection and its profound impact on our relationships. This episode aims to broaden our understanding of how true self-connection can foster more meaningful and authentic relationships, despite the challenges that may arise.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Embracing Your True Self & Making Authentic Connections
(00:00:21) - Introduction
(00:00:58) - Unveiling the True Self
(00:02:33) - Addressing a Vital Question: Authenticity and Connection
(00:05:25) - Exploring the Nuances of Authentic Connections
(00:09:17) - The Challenge of Being True to Oneself
(00:16:17) - Authenticity in Relationships
(00:23:37) - Indicators of Growth in the Interior Journey
(00:23:59) - Fruits of the Holy Spirit
(00:33:25) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
How has this episode resonated with you? Do you struggle with authenticity and living out your true self? What are some factors that make it challenging? Think about the relationships and connections in your life. Do you think they are authentic?

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How Important Is It To Choose A Catholic/Christian Therapist?

Tue, 14 May 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 125

In this episode of our current series, I delve into the topic of whether choosing a therapist or spiritual director of the same faith, specifically Christian or Catholic, is crucial for one's journey towards interior integration. How important is a therapist’s faith in their effectiveness for our interior journey and how much difference would having a Christian/Catholic therapist make vs one who doesn’t share our faith?

In this video I unpack the subconscious assumptions we have about Christian/Catholic therapists and systematically explain why a therapist’s professional competence and ability to offer a safe, judgment-free space for healing is much more important than their professed faith in helping us in our interior integration journey.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Introduction
(00:00:48) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Therapist
(00:02:03) - Choosing a Catholic / Christian Therapist
(00:03:38) - The Significance of a Therapist's Faith
(00:13:33) - Why Professional Competence Outweighs Faith in Therapy
(00:19:23) - Understanding What 'Catholic Therapist' Really Means
(00:26:36) - The Impact of Professional Competence and Integrity
(00:29:43) - Navigating Therapy with Faith and Emotional Healing
(00:31:44) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Therapist
(00:32:26) - Personal Responsibility in Therapy and Integration
(00:43:56) - The Role of a Therapist's Faith
(00:57:06) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
After listening to my sharing, how do you feel? Do you still think that a counsellor or therapist of the same faith is important? Why do you feel this way? If you have been for counselling or therapy, what was your experience like? Was it a safe space for you? If you're looking to start your counselling journey, what do you look for in a counsellor or therapist?

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4 Considerations When Choosing A Therapist

Tue, 07 May 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 124

In this episode, I delve into the continuation of my exploration on seeking guidance, pivoting from the quest for a spiritual director to the intricate process of choosing a therapist. I reveal key considerations that have shaped my approach, highlighting the vital step of discerning which 'layer of life' demands healing - be it surface-level challenges or the deeper, foundational issues of one's core self.

Drawing from my own experiences with counseling and psychotherapy, I elucidate the differences between the two, emphasising how they cater to distinct needs, from coping with immediate external stressors to addressing profound and complex traumas. Additionally, I address pragmatic aspects like budgeting for therapy sessions and the importance of a therapist's qualifications, their understanding of trauma, and their commitment to professional growth.

This is a highly practical episode for listeners new to discerning whether a therapist is a good match for them.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:18) - Introduction
(00:00:55) - Continuing My Sharing: From Spiritual Directors to Therapists
(00:03:48) - Understanding the Layers of Life for Healing
(00:08:42) - Choosing Between Counseling and Psychotherapy
(00:16:59) - Starting Your Therapeutic Journey: Tips and Considerations
(00:26:52) - Navigating Budget and Professional Expertise in Therapy
(00:37:34) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Has anything from my sharing resonated with you? Do you feel like you have plateaued in this season of your journey? Could you be in a space of needing something different, something more? Consider this for a moment, and be open to where God may lead you. What might your next step be?

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5 Considerations When Choosing A Spiritual Director

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 123

In this in-depth episode, I share my personal experiences and insights on the importance and process of selecting a spiritual director to guide one's spiritual journey. I outline five key considerations that have proved pivotal in my journey: assessing the spiritual director's emotional and spiritual maturity, understanding my current spiritual needs and season, recognising the stage of my interior journey, considering my budget and the different types of spiritual directors available, and finally, the critical role of discernment in action, emphasizing the reliance on synchronicity and God's guidance.

Alongside these considerations, I share my reflections, personal anecdotes and recommend several books that have greatly aided me in navigating my own spiritual path.

Books mentioned:
The Friend of the Bridegroom by Thomas H. Green SJ
Experiencing God: The Three Stages of Prayer by Thomas H. Green SJ
Opening to God: A Guide to Prayer by Thomas H. Green SJ
Armchair Mystic: How Contemplative Prayer Can Lead You Closer to God by Mark Thibodeaux SJ

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:14) - Introduction
(00:00:51) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Spiritual Director
(00:04:53) - Five Key Considerations for Selecting a Spiritual Director
(00:14:56) - Understanding Your Needs and Where You are on Your Journey
(00:26:20) - Practical Aspects: Budget and Types of Spiritual Directors
(00:35:32) - Taking Action in Your Discernment Process
(00:37:49) - The Grace of Synchronicity in Spiritual Guidance
(00:42:19) - Transitioning Between Spiritual Directors: Embracing Change
(00:49:25) - Navigating Seasons Without a Spiritual Director
(00:51:23) - Leveraging Books for Spiritual Direction and Growth
(01:01:34) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Has any of the five key considerations resonated with you in my sharing? Perhaps you have experienced and noticed one or more of these considerations in your life. Are there any the signs that you should discern changing your current spiritual director? What might your experience of these signs be? If you do not yet have a spiritual director, which of these consideration

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Is It Time to Change Your Spiritual Director or Therapist?

Tue, 23 Apr 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 122

This episode covers practical advice for individuals deeply invested in their integrated spiritual and emotional healing journeys. I particularly emphasise the importance of recognising when it might be time to change one's spiritual director or therapist and provide listeners with THREE signs that may indicate that it is time for a change.

There is often a natural evolution in such guidance relationships because progress in one's spiritual journey may necessitate change due to the different stages of personal development and the inherent limitations of any single guide.

Three main signs indicating the need for a new spiritual direction or therapeutic relationship are elaborated upon: the feeling of plateauing in one's growth, a change in the dynamics of the relationship that may challenge its professional boundaries, and a reduction in the feeling of safety with the current spiritual director or therapist.

The discussion also stresses the importance of being trauma-informed and recognising when deeper therapeutic work is needed beyond spiritual direction. This episode will help listeners discern their needs more effectively and make changes that support their ongoing spiritual and emotional growth.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:26) - Introduction
(00:01:04) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Spiritual Director or Counselor
(00:04:39) - Understanding the Need for Change in Spiritual Guidance
(00:10:11) - Sign #1: You're No Longer Growing
(00:16:26) - Sign #2: The Relationship Has Changed
(00:21:29) - Sign #3: You No Longer Feel Safe
(00:30:43) - Navigating the Transition: Moving On
(00:36:11) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Did anything resonate with you in my Live sharing? Have you experienced any of the three signs that I've shared? Perhaps you have experienced more that one of the signs. What is stopping you from moving on to other resources?

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The Contemplative Heart of Interior Integration

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 121

In this episode of Becoming Me, I delve into the contemplative heart of interior integration. I talk about the integration of spirituality, psychology, neuroscience, and other fields as essential in the journey of self-discovery. Using metaphors and reflecting on my own experiences, I emphasise the role of contemplation in managing life's paradoxes and challenges.

I explain how contemplation, or being with God, serves as a foundational point, helping us embrace our complexities and live out our faith deeply. I offer assurance that, despite the complexities of the interior integration journey, finding stability in contemplation can bring peace and grace into our lives. I also suggest ways to cultivate awareness to recognise contemplative moments daily, guiding listeners towards profound self-understanding and a closer relationship with the divine.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:26) - Introduction
(00:01:04) - The Heart of Interior Integration
(00:09:42) - Exploring the Contemplative Heart
(00:12:40) - The Power of Contemplation in Healing
(00:15:41) - Embracing Paradoxes and Tensions
(00:21:10) - Contemplation: Beyond "Saying Prayers"
(00:23:01) - Real-Life Examples of Contemplation
(00:37:58) - Cultivating Awareness and Stillness
(00:40:11) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
What is contemplation? Do you find yourself being constantly busy? Have you experienced the stillness of God's love? Perhaps there has been an instance of this experience of stillness, even during a crisis. How can you live a life of contemplation?

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3 Spiritual Blocks That Stem From Attachment Trauma

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 120

In this episode I highlight three common spiritual blocks: the inability to develop a close and intimate relationship with God, the struggle with being still and silent, and the challenges of discernment and decision-making.

We often think of these as spiritual blocks, but in my experience, they have a lot to do with attachment trauma. Spirituality rests on the bedrock of our humanity, it is part of our humanity not apart from it. Our nervous system, body, our emotions, our rational mind - they all form an organic WHOLE that is much more than the sum of each part.

This sharing will be particularly beneficial for spiritual directors and formators who may have more learning on spiritual development but less knowledge on how attachment wounds affect people’s ability to mature spiritually.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:18) - Introduction
(00:00:55) - The Journey of Integration: A Personal Story
(00:01:23) - Exploring the Intersection of Spirituality and Personal Growth
(00:04:17) - The Role of Emotional Healing in Spiritual Direction
(00:07:27) - Unveiling Three Spiritual Blocks Linked to Attachment Trauma
(00:08:04) - The Impact of Religion and Spirituality on Mental Health
(00:10:05) - Navigating Spiritual Blocks: Personal Reflections and Insights
(00:25:40) - Understanding Attachment Styles and Their Influence on Spirituality
(00:40:33) - Different Perspectives of Perfection and Wholeness
(00:50:00) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced any of the three common spiritual blocks I've spoken about? Do you perhaps recognise these blocks in people close to you, in your communities? Think about an instance where you had to discern. How did it make you feel? Did you feel safe? Did you feel unconditionally loved by God?

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Are You Spiritualising Forgiveness?

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 119

In this episode, I discuss the concept of spiritualising forgiveness and its implications in faith and daily life. I talk about how the struggles many people often face in integrating love and forgiveness in their lives are due to an insecure attachment with God and a fear of not doing the right thing.

I talk about the pitfalls of spiritualising forgiveness and how true forgiveness should lead to human flourishing rather than spiritual subjugation. I discuss the necessity of healing ourselves instead of just focusing on forgiving others, arguing that forgiveness is both a journey and God's work, not ours alone. I conclude this episode by offering practical advice on working towards forgiveness within a secure relationship with God.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:13) - Introduction
(00:00:50) - Exploring the Struggless with Forgiveness
(00:03:34) - Three Signs Indicating you may be Spiritualising Forgiveness
(00:09:32) - Understanding the True Essesnce of Forgiveness
(00:23:09) - Real-Life Complexities of Forgiveness in our Relationships
(00:29:48) - Exploring the Process of Forgiveness
(00:30:40) - Why do we Spiritualise Forgiveness
(00:38:41) - Embracing the Vastness of God's Love
(00:47:24) - How to Navigate our Emotions and Forgiveness
(00:55:04) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you recognise any of the three signs of spiritualization in your life? Is your attachement with God secure? Perhaps, there is a more concrete step which you can take towards recognising spiritualising forgiveness in your life and relationships. What might that be?

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The Essential Role of Self-Care In The Interior Journey

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 118

In this episode, I dive deep into the topic of self-care, self-love, and how they relate to spirituality from a Christian perspective. I challenge the common misconception within some Christian circles that self-care may be seen as a sign of weakness or indulgence.

I emphasise the importance of recognising our individual, personal needs for care and suggest that neglect of self-care might stem from past trauma. I encourage listeners to understand self-care as an expression of accepting God's love and affirm our worthiness for care, taking time to meet our physical needs without feeling guilty or indulgent.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:21 - Introduction
00:50 - Exploring the Complexities of Self-Care in our Faith
01:50 - The Misconceptions of Self-Care
06:04 - Self-Care: Indulgence vs. Discipline
13:33 - The Importance of Understanding Personal Needs
17:42 - Personalism vs. Individualism: A Deeper Dive
26:45 - Embracing Self-Care Without Shame
32:05 - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
What is your relationship with self-care and self-love? Does it bring up negative feelings or experiences for you? Perhaps you have judged yourself harshing for indulging in self-care, or recognise this in others. How can we be free to care for ourselves?

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Navigating Healing of Relationships In Dysfunctional Families: A Christian Perspective

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 117

In this in-depth discussion, I provide a Christian perspective on the journey of healing from complex trauma within a dysfunctional family setting. Six gentle reminders are shared for those trying to manage relationships within such dynamics: acknowledging the enmity; having a trustworthy third party; remembering self-abandonment is not love; not measuring up to an imagined ideal; grounding oneself in God's infinite love; and understanding that God sees the hidden suffering.

I emphasise the need for truth, self-protection, understanding the nature of abuse, the necessity of setting boundaries, and the importance of grounding oneself in God's unconditional love.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:23) - Introduction
(00:01:16) - The Challenges of Integration and Discipleship
(00:03:08) - Navigating Love and Enmity within Our Families
(00:04:10) - The Complexities of Healing and Relationships
(00:07:36) - Recognising and Addressing Toxic Family Dynamics
(00:11:05) - Six Gentle Reminders for Navigating Toxic Relathionships
(00:32:48) - Dealing with the Impacts of Setting Boundaries
(00:45:02) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Did anything in my sharing resonate with you strongly? Think about the six reminders that I've shared about in this episode. Which of these are the hardest to live out? Which of these reminders give you the most comfort on this journey?

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Primed For Conflict: The Link Between Our Present & Our Past

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 116

In this episode I examine the connection between past emotional trauma and present conflicts in relationships. Aided by three personal stories, I illustrate how past familial conflicts have influenced my own internal emotional regulation triggering conflicts in my current relationships, especially within my marriage.

I also share how greater self-awareness can lessen the severity of conflicts, promote reconciliation, and foster greater empathy in relationships. I encourage listeners to explore their emotional patterns noticing how certain behaviours might be influenced by past experiences and unresolved issues.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:16) - Introduction
(00:00:53) - Understanding the Importance of Interior Integration and Interior Healing
(00:03:04) - My Journey of Conflict and Self-Discovery
(00:05:57) - The Role of Past Experiences in Current Conflicts
(00:13:07) - Example: The Impact of Financial Sress on my Relationships
(00:19:55) - Recognising and Addressing Emotional Triggers
(00:28:42) - The Journey of Self-Awareness and Healing
(00:35:23) - The Importance of Repairing Relationships
(00:38:40) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you found yourself uncontrollably upset at someone or at a situation? Are the triggers in your life forming a pattern? Sometimes, we don't realised the effect our wounds have on our body. Certain incidents may trigger something in us, without us cognitively knowing first. Have you experienced something similar? What are your triggers? What are your patterns?

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Understanding Enmeshment's Impact On Our Faith & Relationships

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 115

In this episode I explore the concept of 'enmeshment', a term used in psychology to describe dysfunctional family systems marked by poor boundaries between family members and thus over-dependence (and co-dependence).

I reflect on how growing up in an enmeshed family has affected my own mental health, relationships, and understanding of faith, leading me to develop a 'Messiah Complex' - or feeling compelled to constantly help others to my own detriment.

I highlight the important role of understanding personal emotional health and trauma while practicing faith, and encourage listeners to be more compassionate with themselves, to become more whole, and grow in capacity to love well and healthily.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:21) - Introduction
(00:00:58) - Understanding Enmeshment and Attachment Styles
(00:06:44) - The Messiah Complex and its Consequences
(00:09:06) - My Personal Experiences with the Messiah Complex
(00:37:04) - The Impact of Enmeshment on Faith and Relationships
(00:43:33) - The Journey Towards Healing and Wholeness
(00:45:51) - The Importance of Alignment and Self-Understanding
(00:54:59) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced having the Messiah Complex in your life? Perhaps you identify and have felt moments of enmeshment in some of your relationships. How have these experiences hindered your relationship with God? Has it hindered others' relationship with you or with God?

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Recovering From People-Pleasing and Insecure Attachment With God

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 114

If you're a people-pleaser, chances are good that you also have an insecure attachment with God and that your understanding of "pleasing God" comes from a place of anxiety rather than confidence.

This episode discusses the struggles of recovering people pleasers within the context of spiritual life. I share some insights on a passage from 'Time for God' by Jacques Philippe, addressing the concept of pleasing God and how we can mis-interpret it when we lack healthy self-esteem and self-worth.

This is a particularly relevant episode to those struggling with people-pleasing and who often feel concerned that they are not "good enough" at pleasing God.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:33) - Introduction
(00:01:21) - The Connection between People-Pleasing and Pleasing God
(00:03:28) - The Root Cause of People-Pleasing
(00:06:24) - The Importance of Secure Attachement
(00:08:40) - The Journey towards Secure Attachment with God
(00:11:09) - The Grace of Humility
(00:16:07) - The Importance of Interior Integration
(00:19:03) - Embracing the Journey
(00:21:12) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you identify as a people-pleaser? Perhaps you recognise this in someone else. How does people-pleasing affect your relationship with God and with yourself? We need to have a secure attachment with ourselves and with God. Do you have this? How can you achieve this?

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Why Exercising Boundaries Feel "Wrong" When You're Healing

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 113

When those of us who never had boundaries start learning to exercise them, it can feel really "wrong" to us and this may keep us second guessing if drawing boundaries is the right thing to do.

In this episode I reflect upon the struggle of exercising personal boundaries in the context of faith, familial expectations, and societal norms. I delve into my journey of establishing an authentic relationship with God and how insecurities, trauma, and distorted perceptions can impact this process.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:16) - Introduction
(00:08:56) - The Struggle of Exercising Boundaries
(00:12:52) - The Impact of Dysfunctional Family Systems
(00:21:13) - The Role of Faith in Setting Boundaries
(00:38:17) - The Journey Towards Secure Attachment with God
(00:39:33) - My Personal Journey Towards Secure Attachment
(00:40:35) - The Fear and Anxiety of Making Mistakes
(00:43:34) - Embracing Freedom and Trust in God
(00:45:19) - The Impact of Secure Attachment on Our Identities
(00:46:54) - How to Exercise Boundaries
(00:47:15) - Overcoming Fear and Embracing God's Love
(00:53:42) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you struggle with boundaries? Think about a particular instance of where and when you were unable to feel safe enough to exercise your boundaries? Do you feel this way with God as well? We are meant to feel safe with ourselves and God. Do you feel this secure attachment yet?

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How Ignatian Examen Helps Heal Abandonment Wounds

Tue, 06 Feb 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 112

In this episode's deep dive, I explain the vital connection between our senses of identity and security in faith, sharing insights drawn from Catholic tradition, modern psychology, and personal experience.

I share about my journey towards developing a secure attachment with God, and how the prayer of the Examen, which originated with St. Ignatius of Loyola, helped me in this journey. Through integrating perspectives from the study of trauma, I share how focusing on the concept of God's constant and loving presence rather than on self-evaluation helped me to deepen my felt sense of security in God's love for me.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:02:01) - The Importance of Conviction and Integration
(00:07:20) - The Role of Trauma in Personal Growth
(00:10:21) - Virtue and Emotion Regulation
(00:11:51) - The Struggle of Living Out Convictions
(00:13:58) - God's Love in Personal Transformation
(00:25:58) - The Challenge of Living Out Conovictions in Relationships
(00:26:59) - The Journey of Healing and Integration
(00:29:52) - The Role of Discernment in the Interior Journey
(00:43:20) - Conclusion

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced being full of passion and conviction about the kind of life you want to live while realising that you don't have the power to make that conviction a reality in your life? Can you identify how a lack of integration may be the reason for that?

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3 Grounding Tips For When You Are Overwhelmed

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 111

Have you experienced feeling overwhelmed while making the interior journey? In this episode I propose three coping strategies for these difficult periods: the understanding that nothing real changes, realising that we are not the saviours of ourselves or the world, and being extra gentle and mindful towards ourselves.

I also highlight the significance of recognising seasons and rhythms in our lives and the importance of self-care during challenging times. This episode is relevant for anyone seeking comfort and guidance when confronting overwhelming emotions during their personal journeys towards authenticity and openness.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:02:01) - The Importance of Conviction and Integration
(00:07:20) - The Role of Trauma in Personal Growth
(00:10:21) - Virtue and Emotion Regulation
(00:11:51) - The Struggle of Living Out Convictions
(00:13:58) - God's Love in Personal Transformation
(00:25:58) - The Challenge of Living Out Conovictions in Relationships
(00:26:59) - The Journey of Healing and Integration
(00:29:52) - The Role of Discernment in the Interior Journey
(00:43:20) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced being full of passion and conviction about the kind of life you want to live while realising that you don't have the power to make that conviction a reality in your life? Can you identify how a lack of integration may be the reason for that?

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Why Conviction Without Integration Doesn't Help Us

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 110

Conviction alone can’t get you where you want or need to go. When we don’t do the work of interior integration we often end up hiding behind our convictions to feel safe instead of flourishing because we are rooted in a secure relationship with God and our Self.

In this episode, I explore how personal integration is a crucial factor for living an authentic and balanced life. I share from my personal experience how having strong convictions doesn't necessarily lead to fruitful actions. Instead, it is the work of facing and accepting one's truths without fear, healing, and evolving through different stages of growth that helps us to become more open to divine grace and bear good fruit.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:02:01) - The Importance of Conviction and Integration
(00:07:20) - The Role of Trauma in Personal Growth
(00:10:21) - Virtue and Emotion Regulation
(00:11:51) - The Struggle of Living Out Convictions
(00:13:58) - God's Love in Personal Transformation
(00:25:58) - The Challenge of Living Out Conovictions in Relationships
(00:26:59) - The Journey of Healing and Integration
(00:29:52) - The Role of Discernment in the Interior Journey
(00:43:20) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced being full of passion and conviction about the kind of life you want to live while realising that you don't have the power to make that conviction a reality in your life? Can you identify how a lack of integration may be the reason for that?

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What Does Interior Integration FEEL Like?

Tue, 16 Jan 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 109

What's the difference that healing and integration makes we get triggered back into old insecurities and anxieties? We often expect that healing will result in the absence of struggles but in reality, the journey involves self-awareness and fostering a sense of internal freedom with which we learn to manage our anxieties and insecurities.

In this episode I recount a personal experience in which I was able to regain composure and freedom after encountering a stressful situation which had triggered me into being fearful and anxious. The integration journey slowly increases our ability to find the interior freedom to respond rather than just react, allowing us to be more wholly human even in our struggles.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:42) - Introduction
(00:01:21) - The Healing Journey
(00:02:58) - Experiencing Healing
(00:04:04) - The Role of God in the Healing Journey
(00:05:31) - The Struggle with Insecurities and Fears
(00:08:53) - The Power of Self-Awareness in Healing
(00:10:33) - Regaining Freedom through Healing
(00:14:18) - The Role of Prayer and Discernment in Healing
(00:17:22) - The Impact of Healing and Integration
(00:19:30) - The Complexity & Courage of the Healing Journey
(00:22:44) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Can you identity with any part of the experience I shared in this episode about getting triggered and re-centering myself? What, in your experience, is an early sign you can pick up on that you are being triggered? What have you found useful as a first step to halt the slide into further anxiety or panic?

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How Learning About Trauma Helped My Spiritual Life

Tue, 09 Jan 2024 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 108

In this episode, I delve into how understanding complex trauma has helped me in my spiritual life. I share how certain challenges I face, such as emotional regulation in stressful environments, couldn't be solved merely through deepening my spiritual life and prayer routine.

By learning more about trauma, I discovered how coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms have shaped my personality and reactions. I share how learning about trauma has led me to see myself more wholly and helped me to be more compassionately curious and courageous in my interior integration journey.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:03:24 ) - New Season Updates
(00:14:47) - Introduction
(00:16:05) - The Connection Between Spiritual Journey and Trauma
(00:18:54) - The Struggle With Spiritual Growth
(00:20:37) - The Revelation Of A Shaky Foundation
(00:23:56) - Understanding Complex Trauma
(00:27:26) - The Impact of Trauma On The Nervous System
(00:28:30) - The Integration of Body, Mind and Spirit
(00:29:51) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
What emotional response do you have to this episode? Are you open to exploring how trauma affects your own spiritual journey?

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Coping with Advent Overwhelm: Trauma Recovery and Faith

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 107

Do you feel overwhelmed in Advent and more tense than usual? Does that make you feel guilty all the more because it makes you feel like you're not "doing" Advent well?

In this bonus episode, I share my personal experiences about the overwhelming feelings often associated with the Advent season, particularly for those on a trauma recovery journey. I talk about my struggles with complex trauma and how my wounds show up specifically during the Christian Advent season.

This episode highlights the difficult balance between religious traditions, family scripts, and self-care. I emphasise the importance of pace, space, and grace especially if we are in a season of healing and share personal strategies for managing anxiety during this Advent season.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:21) - Introduction
(00:02:13) - The Impact of Trauma on Advent Experience
(00:03:58) - Recognizing Overwhelm and Trauma Responses
(00:06:08) - The Role of Family and Faith Traditions
(00:07:48) - The Challenge of Trauma Recovery During Advent
(00:10:50) - The Importance of Agency and Choice in Trauma Recovery
(00:13:12) - Managing Overwhelm: Pace, Space and Grace
(00:21:27) - Personal Experiences and Reflections
(00:32:24) - Final Thoughts
(00:33:09) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you recognise any signs of overwhelm in your body during this Advent season? What scripts (societal / familial / religious) may be activated for you during this lead up to Christmas?

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How Dissonance Invites You Home to Your True Self

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 106

Have you ever felt that gut-wrenching feeling that something just isn't right in your life, but couldn't quite pinpoint the cause? That sense of dissonance might actually be the key to unlocking a more authentic and fulfilling life.

In this heartfelt conversation, I examine the importance of authenticity and attunement, and how these two conflicting needs can cause us to lose touch with our inner compass.

I share my own struggles with finding and maintaining integrity, and discuss how the discomfort of dissonance can be seen as a blessing rather than a burden. By recognizing and acknowledging this feeling in our lives, we can use it as an invitation to move towards greater self-awareness and self-love.

This episode will leave you with a newfound appreciation for the value of dissonance in your life and the journey towards authenticity.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:06:08) Introduction
(00:06:45) What is Dissonance?
(00:11:47) Filling the Emptiness
(00:15:14) Authenticity & Attachment Needs
(00:17:00) Dissonance is a Blessing
(00:18:34) My Experiences of Dissonance
(00:30:10) Moving Towards Authenticity and Integrity
(00:34:56) Are you Experiencing Dissonance?
(00:36:37) Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Are you currently experiencing dissonance in your life? Sit with it, bring it to God. What is one way you can live more authentically?

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What An Interior Integration Coach Is And Why I Am One

Fri, 10 Nov 2023 03:00:00 +0800

Episode 105

“What’s an interior integration coach and why are you one?”

I often get asked how what I do is different from spiritual direction, counselling/therapy and life coaching.

In this last episode from the 30 day challenge series I explain what interior integration specifically addresses and how the kind of coaching I do draws upon, differs from, complements and integrates other approaches to inner work.

You may wish to check out A Leader’s Spirituality, an online course I teach that provides an experiential introduction to interior integration, and Clarity: Interior Integration Journey, an 8-month long small group coaching journey that facilitates pilgrims into clearer self-knowledge and deeper acceptance.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:44) - Introduction
(00:03:33) - Interior Integration
(00:11:47) - Why I Do What I Do
(00:27:22) - Integration Coach VS Counselling & Spiritual Direction
(00:32:10) - Making Sense of the Data
(00:33:25) - Praxis
(00:38:48) - Stringing the Clues Together
(00:49:58) - Sharing my Story
(01:11:06) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Has anything from today's Live resonated with you? Do you feel like you are tapping on the right resources for yourself, at this particular point in your journey? Remeber that each journey is unique and each call and mission is unrepeatable. Sit with this. Ponder this.

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Why You Can't Flourish Without Attunement

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 104

Why is it that even when we KNOW what we need to do and when we even try to do “the right things” so few of us truly thrive and flourish?

In this episode I share how getting things done (even when they are good things) without attunement to ourselves, to God and others will lead to us showing up more and more as “empty shells” and using one another as objects instead of loving one another into flourishing.

I also talk about why slowing down, cherishing stillness, and taking care of ourselves are all essential for our thriving and for us to bring others into flourishing as well.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:20) - Introduction
(00:02:14) - Attunement for Interior Integration
(00:06:31) - Truth without Attunement
(00:14:51) - Flourishing
(00:19:27) - Presence and Attunement
(00:24:20) - Spiritual Fruit
(00:26:13) - Slowing Down
(00:28:18) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
How well do you think you are attuned to yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? Do you have this same level of attunement with God and with those around you? Have you ever felt unseen or unheard? Perhaps you were were unable to attune or be present to someone in your life. Ponder this, write it down when you're ready.

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Authenticity In The Struggle With Childlessness

Fri, 03 Nov 2023 01:00:00 +0800

Episode 103

There is a secret shame and hidden pain for those of us whose community (family/church) value marriage and children when our marriage situation does not match that “ideal”.

In this episode I responded to someone who asked how she could be authentic to herself, God and others in her struggle to make sense of her infertility. How can she still believe in the goodness of God and his love for her?

I share my own journey in this area - a story I have only shared privately thus far because of my own fear of judgment in the past. But I am grateful now to be able to share my story of being married and childless as an offering. May this story find you if you needed to hear it.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:27) - Introduction
(00:05:45) - Fertility and Childlessness
(00:08:02) - Shame
(00:16:47) - My Retreat Experience
(00:26:28) - Freedom to Accept the Answer
(00:31:54) - Ready in Acceptance
(00:37:11) - Childlessness and our Interior Journey
(00:41:29) - Authenticity
(00:48:21) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Are you struggling with your life or family state? Do you perhaps know someone who is struggling? If we are not struggling, have we been gentle and kind to those around us, who may be struggling?

Support the show

How Healing Changed Me And My Interior Journey

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 102

"What real life difference does interior healing make in our day to day living?"

"What difference does healing make to the way we see, approach and experience the interior journey?"

"What does one need to do to begin healing?"

"And how does the soul feel when we move from a season of healing/deepening to a season of equipping and then sending?"

The interior journey happens deep below the surface of what we do in our daily life but our interior state - how integrated or fragmented we are - has a huge impact on our emotional resilience, interior freedom and integrity.

In this latest episode of my podcast I answer some listener questions about how making the interior journey of integration has impacted my life.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:31) - Introduction
(00:02:08) - How has Healing Changed Me and My Interior Journey?
(00:04:45) - More Authentic
(00:08:35) - More Safe
(00:09:47) - Hope
(00:13:02) - Understanding the Multi-Dimensional Aspects of the Interior Journey
(00:16:03) - More Patience in my Journey
(00:18:35) - How to Start Healing
(00:19:10) - Awareness
(00:20:31) - Support
(00:27:54) - Seasons of the Interior Journey
(00:29:38) - Silence and Solitude
(00:35:54) - Sending and Deepening
(00:45:04) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
After listening to my sharing on how inner healing has changed me and my interior journey, which part of my sharing resonates with you? Which season of the interior journey do you think you are in? What steps can you take to deepen your healing on this journey?

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Burnout, Imposter Syndrome, Sin and Boundaries

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 101

"Does burnout and imposter syndrome always mean we are not doing what we are meant to do?"

"If our wounds impact how we respond to others, how and when does sin come in?"

"Can trying to practice boundaries make us sin? Is feeling guilty be an indication that we are doing something wrong?"

In this episode I respond to these questions from the perspective of interior integration.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:14) - Introduction
(00:02:18) - Inner Healing
(00:10:31) - The Call
(00:20:00) - Imposter Syndrome
(00:22:08) - Sin and Self-Agency
(00:37:54) - Focusing on the Light
(00:45:10) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you find yourself feeling like an imposter? Perhaps you feel like your focus is solely on sin? Think about which part of my sharing today has had an impact and resonated with you. What is one thing you can do to move forward in this journey of integration and authenticity?

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Why You Can't Discern Mission Without Healing

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 06:00:00 +0800

Episode 100

So many of us wish to know our gifts and our mission or vocation, but few know that without healing and integration we won’t be able to truly discern or live out our giftings or vocation.

In this episode I explain WHY it is that trying to discern our gifts or mission without going through healing is often ineffective, resulting in us remaining trapped in not knowing who our True Self is.

If you’re actively discerning a vocation or trying to deepen your self-knowledge, listen to this episode!

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Special Message From Ann
(00:05:43) - Introduction
(00:07:57) - Trauma & Personality Tests
(00:13:22) - An MBTI (Myers Briggs) Example
(00:20:36) - Traume & Vocation Discernment
(00:25:52) - Does Personality Change With Age?
(00:31:46) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
- Are you trying to discern your life's mission and purpose before you know and love who God created you to be?

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From People Pleasing to Unapologetic Confidence

Fri, 20 Oct 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 99

I used to appear confident and successful externally but felt so anxious inside. I was a high achiever who felt like an imposter and who feared losing the regard that others had of me because of my achievements.

In this episode I share the real experience of my journey into being able to confidently choose to be aligned with who I am and the gifts I know I have been given by saying “NO”, even at the risk of upsetting others I admired.

If you’re a recovering people-pleaser you’ll understand just what a breakthrough and feat it is to become free to dis-please others. This is a message of encouragement for you!

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:27) - Introduction
(00:04:11) - My Old Scripts
(00:05:41) - Example of my Old Scripts & Reactions
(00:12:19) - Breaking out of Old Scripts and Habits
(00:23:44) - Acceptance and Celebration
(00:26:45) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Has anything in my sharing resonated with you? How can you start living out in who you truly are? Think about one way you can start being more yourself, more authentic.

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Developing Trust & Secure Attachment In Adulthood

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 98

How do we begin to develop secure attachment with God and others in adulthood when we have struggled so long with insecurity about our loveableness?

In this episode I break this question down from the perspective of interior integration and share some practical steps you can take.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:08:25) - What is Secure Attachment?
(00:10:53) - Why we have Trust Issues
(00:16:31) - Three Relationships
(00:18:28) - Attune To
(00:24:40) - Trauma Aware
(00:25:39) - Feeling Safe
(00:29:00) - Secure Attachement with God
(00:36:56) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Read up more on secure attachment and trauma awareness. Are you aware of your attachment style? Do you recognise the wounds and trauma within yourself that need healing? Consider how you are feeling now. Think about a resource such a counsellor or spiritual director, that may help you in the current season you are in.

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What To Do When Other People Project Their Insecurities Onto Us

Fri, 13 Oct 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 97

How can you maintain inner freedom and equilibrium when other people project their issues onto you?

In this episode I explain the first principles behind a process that allows us to become more anchored in our True Identity which will allow us to respond to other people’s projections onto us with greater authenticity and integrity.

I teach this process in the context of leadership in my online course A Leader’s Spirituality (ALS): https://www.integroformation.com/als

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:23) - Introduction
(00:04:52) - We See Life through a Tinted Glass
(00:05:30) - Beholding the Real
(00:12:40) - Layers of Prayer
(00:14:13) - Re-Grounding
(00:17:28) - Rooted in my Core
(00:19:06) - Creating Space and Boundaries
(00:28:15) - First Principles and Context
(00:33:25) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experience someone projecting their feelings if insecurity on you? Have you been triggered by this? Think of one instance where this has happened. Were you triggered? Why were you triggered? The next time this comes up, try to make space for yourself, to re-ground yourself.

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3 Steps To Take When The Interior Journey Overwhelms You

Tue, 10 Oct 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 96

“How do I pace myself on the interior journey when the speed of what comes up (mostly past experiences, childhood memories) is faster than what I can process or unpack?”

In this episode I offer THREE clear and very practical steps of what to do when the interior journey becomes overwhelming.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Introduction
(00:03:14) - You Feel Safer
(00:04:04) - 3 Tips
(00:04:24) - 1. Breathe
(00:06:20) - 2. Re-Evaluate
(00:09:06) - 3. Create more Space for Solitude
(00:11:46) - Don't Rush
(00:12:40) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Think about the three steps or tips that I mentioned in this episode. If you are feeling overwhelmed right now, in this journey, take a step back and breathe. Give yourself some space. Name one think you can subtract from your life to give you this space.

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Healing Through Delight, Beauty, Rest & Play

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 95

In my season of deep healing I was led to rediscover how to receive delight, rest, pleasure, rest and be extravagant with beauty without guilt.

I never knew until that season how “holiness” and “goodness” and my image of God had been distorted in my life through trauma to be narrow, pedantic, dogmatic and puritanical.

Hear how I experienced embodied spiritual healing through contemplative photography, gourmet coffee and becoming a pet parent to my dog Miko!

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:28) - Introduction
(00:02:56) - Embodiment
(00:09:43) - Photography
(00:19:06) - Coffee
(00:20:39) - The Shame in my Delight
(00:25:47) - Miko Story
(00:45:49) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
In this episode, I share about three things that helped me in my healing journey. I invite you to watch my Youtube video of this episode, which has a lot of pictures and visuals. I also invite you to think about something you and your inner child would like to do to play and to just delight in.

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When Your Interior Journey Feels Disconnected With The Outside World

Tue, 03 Oct 2023 06:00:00 +0800

Episode 94

At some point of the interior journey we will feel disconnected with the outside world and this can be scary if we don’t understand why it’s happening or how to respond.

In this episode I explain why this sense of disconnection happens at specific seasons of the interior journey and what practical action we can take to nurture and protect our emerging interior life.

This episode will be particularly helpful for those of you who need more than the usual advice about prayer as you enter deeper waters of the interior life.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Introduction
(00:04:37) - Stages of the Interior Journey
(00:07:27) - Why do we experience disconnection?
(00:08:17) - 1. Fragmentation & Realignment
(00:11:48) - 2. Unlearning & Changing
(00:20:25) - Carving Out Silence & Solitude
(00:38:13) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced this sense of disconnect between your inner and outer lives before? How have you responded to nurture and protect your interior journey?

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Loneliness In Singlehood and Marriage

Fri, 29 Sep 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 93

Loneliness is a universal experience, regardless of whether you are single or married (or in religious life/ordained)!

What’s at the root of our loneliness? How do we build a foundation towards having secure attachment with others and with God?

Tune in to this episode to hear me talk about how no-one, not even God, can replace a secure relationship with our SELF.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:33) - Introduction
(00:02:04) - Question1: Singlehood and Contentment
(00:03:23) - Question 2: MyExperience with Earned Security
(00:05:27) - Safe Companionship
(00:10:37) - Loneliness
(00:15:21) - Relationships can't Fix our Woundedness and Traumas
(00:22:07) - Secure Attachment
(00:27:32) - My Experience with Secure and Safe Attachment
(00:30:17) - Building on our own Relationship with God First
(00:33:02) - Being in Solitue to Enjoy Togetherness
(00:34:09) - Self-Alienation
(00:46:09) - Balancing the Tension
(00:54:43) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced loneliness recently? If you are unsure, think about some signs which point towards feelings of loneliness? In that moment, were you able to attune to yourself? What is one way in which you can be more secure with yourself?

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Why Becoming Our Own Person Is Required to Mature in Love

Tue, 26 Sep 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 92

In order to love authentically, we need to have a healthy sense of who we are as a separate SELF.

In this episode I talk about why being enmeshed or too detached in our relationships both prevent us from becoming more fully alive and authentically loving.

I also address a question about the particular challenge of being an Asian/Chinese Catholic making this interior journey of integration.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:24) - Introduction
(00:02:52) - Getting into the Specifics
(00:04:10) - What is the Interior Journey About?
(00:05:54) - Spiritually Fruitful
(00:08:01) - Enmeshment & Detachment
(00:11:52) - Lacking Intimacy
(00:13:58) - Differentiation
(00:18:22) - Dysfunctions
(00:25:03) - Making our own Journey
(00:26:54) - There is no Community without Solitude
(00:33:39) - The Other and The Self
(00:35:11) - Questions
(00:42:11) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Where on the spectrum do you lie? Do you lie closer to enmeshment or detachment? Think about some of the ways in which you have experienced enmeshment or detachment in your close relationships. Think of one way in which you can start your journey to stop these patterns. It doesn't have to be something big. Any step in the right direction is progress.

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"Doing The Right Thing" vs Being Authentically Loving

Fri, 22 Sep 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 91

There’s a world of difference between shutting down our emotions and ignoring our needs to “do the right thing” and being genuinely, authentically loving with our whole being.

In this episode I explain this distinction and share with very concrete experience how differently these two frameworks operate and how only one of them sets us free to become more alive and more truly loving.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:25) - Introduction
(00:02:05) - What's the Difference?
(00:07:57) - The Framework we Operate under
(00:09:44) - Loving Freely
(00:12:55) - Looking at Freedom in the Act Versus the Act Itself
(00:16:49) - Shifting the Paradigm
(00:18:58) - Familial Scripts
(00:30:21) - Being Authentically Loving
(00:41:20) - How do I Honour this "Paradox" in me?
(00:43:24) - Question #1
(00:45:15) - Question #2
(00:55:35) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Think about a recent episode in which you felt pushed or triggered. What was your response? Was your response one that was reactive towards your fears and anxieties? Or did you give yourself the space to understand your emotions? Perhaps you acted out of your default scripts, thinking it was the right thing to do. Sit with this memory and try and recognise if there were any scripts at play.

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How God Led Me To Trust Him Through My Body

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 90

Did you know your lack of a good relationship with your own BODY prevents you from being able to TRUST God, your Self or others?

When we try to discipline our body without first having a loving relationship with it, we deepen the emotional fracture within our being.

In this episode I share how God led me to reconsider my relationship with my body and learn to be able to trust Him more fully.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:33) - Introduction
(00:03:18) - Spirituality is Relationship with God
(00:05:13) - The Relationship with our Bodies
(00:10:00) - Attuning to the Needs of your Body: What Works for You
(00:15:24) - The Irony of the Body
(00:19:08) - The Body Never Lies
(00:23:35) - Honouring our Design
(00:27:10) - Building a Relationship with our Bodies
(00:36:58) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
What is your relationship with our body like? Do you trust your body? Do you like your body? Perhaps you see it as a liability and have constantly tried to push past its 'weaknesses'. What about your body do dislike? Take some time to sit with yourself. Hold yourself gently.

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Attuning to vs Controlling Our Emotions

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 89

What’s the difference between controlling our emotions and regulating them? We often try to control our emotions in order to “be loving” but by doing so we actually make it harder for us to make authentic connections.

In this episode I share my experience on the difference between controlling my emotions and learning to regulate by attuning to them and the impact this has on my ability to be a safer space for myself and others.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:02:43) - Big (Negative) Emotions
(00:08:40) - Allowing ourselves to Feel
(00:11:14) - Attuning to our Emotions
(00:19:11) - Our Younger Emotions
(00:26:20) - The Core Self
(00:29:36) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Think about a time where you felt upset, sad or angry. Did you try to control your emotions? Were you able to let yourself feel those emotions? Try and come up with one way in which you can better attune to yourself and your emotions.

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Life’s Interruption Is the Invitation To Your Real Work

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 88

Illness. Burn out. Relationships breaking down. Death. Losing a job. Giving birth. These are some of life’s interruptions that can throw us off our carefully planned lives and make us feel destabilised.

Our instinct is usually to over-function and overcome these interruptions, but as INTERIOR PILGRIMS we have the option of seeing these interruptions as God’s invitation for us to do the REAL work of growing in freedom, restoration and love.

In this episode I talk about how life’s interruptions can be a painful grace we need to lean into instead of fight off.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:32) - Introduction
(00:01:36) - What Interruptions have you Experienced?
(00:05:32) - Questioning my Fundamentals
(00:06:59) - The Hidden Stories
(00:08:23) - What's the Good News?
(00:11:12) - Doubling Down or Freezing
(00:12:05) - Reinforcing our Scripts
(00:20:25) - Invitation to Surrender
(00:27:48) - Interior Integration
(00:30:53) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced interruptions in your life or in your interior journey? Reflect on one instance. How did you feel? What was your response? Think about how your scripts played a part in your response. Make some space for yourself and picture yourself surrendering all your current and even past interruptions.

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Slowing Down Is About Freedom

Fri, 08 Sep 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 87

In the interior journey it's not how slow or fast you are but the quality of the energy and presence you embody that shows how much space is within you. Slowing down is a way of cultivating that SPACE within us that enables us to exercise our freedom to choose our responses.

For many of us addicted to busyness, preoccupation and speed, we may not be able to slow down with our own efforts. Even when we think we have slowed down, in reality we are not slowing down nearly enough. Listen to my sharing in this episode on how we can move towards slowing down and becoming more free.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:32) - Introduction
(00:03:32) - Slowing Down
(00:11:41) - Not Feeling Safe
(00:17:31) - Hiding Behind Our Personas
(00:19:59) - Stopping When We Finally Break
(00:27:03) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Are you constantly busying yourself and ignoring the boundaries that should be set? Do you live a life of space? Think about why you constantly busy yourself and what you can do to live more intentionally, and to make more space for yourself.

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Why Your Self-Knowledge Needs To Be More Specific

Tue, 05 Sep 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 86

How well do you know yourself? The more specific and concrete we can get about knowing the way we are uniquely created and how to be aligned with our design, the freer and more confident we become in making our journey and in taking up the unique mission God created us to do.

In this episode I share some real life examples of individuals who have developed greater freedom and confidence because they gotten a lot more specific in their self-knowledge.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:35) - Introduction
(00:02:52) - Not Fitting In
(00:11:02) - Finding Our Fit
(00:11:21) - 1. Being Concrete about your Scripts
(00:15:34) - 2. What are our Strengths and Specific Gifts?
(00:23:22) - Self-Knowlegde: Extroversion and Intraversion
(00:33:19) - Self-Knowlegde and Self-Acceptance
(00:36:09) - Aligning our Gifts with where we are
(00:43:02) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you feel like you there is a mismatch between your strengths and where you are in liffe? If you are not aware of what your strengths might be at this moment, sit with yourself and think about what activity at work, or at home that has given you immense joy.

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Why Striving Harder Doesn't Work In Our Interior Journey

Fri, 01 Sep 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 85

We are often used to getting results in many areas of life by working harder, pushing past our limits and bypassing our weaknesses. Most of us try to approach our spiritual and interior lives in the same way when we begin to take our interior journey seriously.

Yet these methods that we default to actually backfire when we try to use them to grow in integration and authenticity and wholeness in Christ. In this episode I discuss why that is the case.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:30) - Introduction
(00:03:45) - Our Inner Critic
(00:08:09) - Being Stuck and Regressing
(00:11:42) - Pondering what's beneath our Addictive Behaviours
(00:21:07) - Knowing when it is Time to Receive
(00:26:05) - Spiritual Ascetism
(00:29:40) - Putting Ascetism in Context
(00:33:29) - How much Slack should I be giving Myself?
(00:36:28) - Try Softer
(00:38:50) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you ever found yourself stuck or regressing at some point in your interior journey?If this has happened to you before, have you tried to push through with zeal to make sure you're moving forward at all costs? Sometimes, we need to able to take a step back and fall into rest. We need to learn to receive.

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How Do I Balance Compassion and Zeal?

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 84

Many of us struggle between demanding standards of virtue and holiness from ourselves/others and being compassionate as we know we are called to be.

In this episode I invite you to observe the energy underlying your zeal or your desire to be compassionate. Are these tied to a fear of falling short somehow? Do you feel pushed or are you drawn from a place of loving freedom?

I also explain how integration will help you navigate this particular tension with greater ease and grace.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:32) - Introduction
(00:01:49) - Am I Compassionate with Myself?
(00:03:55) - Revisiting the Three Layers
(00:06:42) - Being Overzealous
(00:08:33) - Uable to Accept Reality
(00:16:36) - Being Overly Compassionate
(00:19:51) - Where are the Energies within you coming from?
(00:24:41) - Balancing Zeal and Compassion
(00:27:29) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you identify more as someone who is over zealous or overly compassionate? Reflect on why is it you lean more towards being overly zealous or compassionate. Could it be that there is a reality that you are unable to accept?

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How Do I Respond From Interior Freedom?

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 83

In today’s episode I responded to a question about FREEDOM.

What does it mean to be interiorly free? What is that freedom like? How do we recognise when we are unfree? How can we become more free?

Listen to this episode to hear me discuss these questions from a practical and experiential perspective.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:31) - Introduction
(00:01:54) - Responding from a Place of Freedom
(00:06:45) - Self-Interest
(00:14:37) - What is Freedom?
(00:19:19) - Recognising Healing in Ourselves
(00:23:51) - How to Choose from a Place of Freedom?
(00:30:52) - Navigating the In-Between
(00:36:57) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
What are your own experiences of unfreedom and freedom? Do you recognise the signs and fruits of healing in your journey? Perhaps, there are aspects of your journey in which you are afraid to face or let go of. Reflect on these aspects and think about how you can increase your experience of being loved and of receiving love. Is this something you can boldly ask God for help with?

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Timing, Grace and Readiness in the Interior Journey

Tue, 22 Aug 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 82

What do we need to successfully embark and stay on the interior journey? In this episode I explain three factors that we often miss out in our understanding of the interior journey - and they are Timing, Grace and Readiness.

If you've been frustrated at your lack of progress even though you've been putting in effort, it may be due to one or more of these factors being missing.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:35) - Introduction
(00:03:43) - The Treasure Within
(00:06:53) - Protagonists Of Our Own Story
(00:16:58) - Wave of Grace
(00:18:41) - Readiness
(00:25:41) - Timing, Grace & Readiness
(00:28:49) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Are you aware of the aspects of Timing, Grace and Readiness in your Interior Journey? Think about your own journey in these aspects.

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3 Ways Spiritualising Blinds Us From Truth

Fri, 18 Aug 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 81

One mark of a lack of interior integration is SPIRITUALISING. And this can have real detrimental impact on ourselves, our families and our communities.

In this episode I talk about three specific ways spiritualising can blind us from reality, keep us from actually loving, and even helps keep real evil under a spiritualised wrap.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:49) - Introduction
(00:03:35) - What is Spiritualising?
(00:06:57) - 1. Blinds us from Emotional Wounds
(00:11:20) - Over Spiritualising as a "Leader"
(00:15:25) - 2. Blinds us from our Creatureliness
(00:21:51) - Honouring our Limits
(00:24:18) - Addictive Patterns
(00:29:25) - 3. Blinds us from Seeing Others as Human Beings to be Loved
(00:34:17) - Has it Happened to You?
(00:41:37) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you been a victim of spiritualisation? Or perhaps, you have unknowingly been someone who has over-spiritualised, yourself. Try and recognise one instance in your life, or in the life of someone else that you know.

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Becoming Free(er) from Parental Wounds

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 80

The most difficult and courageous thing I've ever had to do in the interior journey was confront the TRUTH of my relationship with my parents and the ways they have wounded me even though they loved me the best they could.

In this episode I share why acknowledging the painful truth of how our parents have wounded us is a non-negotiable for anyone wanting to become integrated, and also how we can be hopeful even when nothing external changes.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

RESOURCE
Adam Young's The Place We Find Ourselves Podcast Ep 2

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:25) - Introduction
(00:01:30) - Parental Wounds
(00:08:11) - The Place We Find Ourselves
(00:11:58) - My Own Interior Journey
(00:14:44) - 3 Parts of my Journey
(00:15:02) - 1st Part - Being Trapped in my Younger Self
(00:24:00) - 2nd Part - Being a Safe Adult
(00:39:27) - 3rd Part - Becoming Freer
(00:41:25) - Attuning to Myself & Others
(00:51:20) - Recognising Some Signs of Being Ready
(00:52:31) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

Support the show

Rebuilding Trust With Our Emotions

Fri, 11 Aug 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 79

Do you trust your emotions? Our lack of a good relationship with our emotions impact our ability to TRUST OURSELVES to make good decisions and spiritual discernment.

Trust is earned, even when it is with ourselves. And to lead ourselves well, we need to rebuild our trust in our emotions and let them play their critical role in our lives without overwhelming or dominating us.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:42) - Introduction
(00:04:32) - Trusting Our Emotions
(00:10:07) - Perception vs Neuroception
(00:15:06) - Discernment
(00:19:28) - Governance
(00:22:47) - Our Inner Critic
(00:26:20) - Why can't we Trust our Emotions?
(00:28:53) - What Happens when we can't Trust our Emotions?
(00:36:28) - Building Trust with My Emotions
(00:38:54) - Two Major Things that happen when we don't Trust our Emotions
(00:39:20) - #1. Emotionally Unhealthy Relationships
(00:39:55) - #2. Over-Spiritualising
(00:46:40) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
- Are you in touch with the ache in your own human experience? How might God be seeking to be present to you in your suffering?

Support the show

Coming Home to Yourself

Tue, 08 Aug 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 78

So many of us struggle with how to be at home with our Self and be secure.

When we don't feel secure in our own bodies, we will continue to look for security from sources outside of ourselves through exerting control.

In this episode I share about the experience of coming home to ourselves and being able to be at rest.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Cf. Listen to Episode 4 | Living from the Inside Out

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:36) - Introduction
(00:02:42) - Making the Connection
(00:04:05) - Being Overly Fixated
(00:04:36) - Dying to Self
(00:09:38) - Created for Love
(00:15:04) - Being at Home with Yourself
(00:22:00) - Who are You?
(00:27:40) - Acknowledging my Unhappiness
(00:36:24) - Our Core Layer
(00:39:06) - Subjective and Objective Redemption
(00:47:11) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

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Noticing the Patterns of Our Brokenness

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 77

In this episode I talk about noticing the unique pattern of brokenness in our lives and why that's a crucial part of the interior journey.

The specific pattern of our brokenness contain clues and invitations to healing and also tells us something about the ways we were actually meant to live.

This episode is part of a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:22) - Introduction
(00:02:36) - What is "Interior"?
(00:06:13) - Patterns of Brokenness
(00:19:30) - Facing our Shame
(00:27:22) - Learning with Acceptance
(00:33:26) - Growing Towards Love
(00:38:17) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

Support the show

Why I Began my Interior Journey (Loneliness)

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 76

This episode is the first in a series taken from my 30 Day Instagram Live Challenge where I went on live video to speak about different aspects of the interior journey every day for 30 days straight.

On Day 1 I shared about how it was a very human experience of deep loneliness and abandonment as a teenager that led me to begin making my interior journey. It’s sometimes easy to forget that it is from the real and concrete contexts of our suffering that we recognise that we are created for more.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:02:12) - Introduction
(00:06:26) - Experiencing Deep Loneliness
(00:09:27) - Emulating the Saints
(00:16:36) - Falling Over and Over
(00:18:42) - Being Human
(00:20:29) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
- Are you in touch with the ache in your own human experience? How might God be seeking to be present to you in your suffering?

Support the show

Overcoming "Perfectionist Paralysis" In The Interior Journey

Wed, 07 Jun 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 75

Have you ever felt trapped in a cycle of thinking of the better self you want to grow into, wanting to take action, but not knowing how to bridge the gap between where you are and where you think you should be?

Listen to this episode to discover how this common trap of "Perfectionist Paralysis" might be playing out in your own life and uncover the ways you can break free from this pattern.

Instead of running away from our fear of inadequacy, we explore how to let God catch up with us and guide our journey into greater holiness, wholeness and authenticity.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Introduction
(00:04:37) - Why Do We Get Stuck?
(00:12:09) - Fear of Failing
(00:15:50) - Staying Busy to Avoid God
(00:21:35) - 3 Ways To Stay Connected During Break
(00:29:53) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
- In what ways might you be running away from God at this point in your life?
- Is there something you can do to just stop running away from him or is it too scary to stop running away from him?
- Is there someone you can ask to help you not get busier and more distracted, but to help you just hold yourself where you are and discover that God is holding you too.

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Exploring Safety, Trust, and Healing in Faith (with Brya Hanan LMFT)

Wed, 31 May 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 74

Have you ever wondered how our relationship with God can be influenced by our family of origin and faith communities?

Join me in a special conversation with Brya Hanan, a licensed marriage and family therapist and life coach, as we explore the often overlooked connection between feeling safe with God and our experiences within our faith communities and families. Discover the importance of safety as the foundation for trust, surrender, and taking risks to fully become who God created us to be.

In this thought-provoking episode, we also discuss the complexities of navigating faith, relationship boundaries, and attachment styles, as well as the role of interior work in our spiritual journeys.

Learn how faith and embodied trauma healing can go hand-in-hand by integrating psychology, neuroscience, and faith in the pursuit of personal growth and a deeper relationship with God.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:30) - Introduction
(00:01:05) - Introduction to Brya Hanan
(00:14:22) - Feeling Safe with God
(00:19:10) - Truly Knowing that I Am Loved
(00:26:39) - How do I know if I Feel Safe with Someone?
(00:29:52) - Attachment, Safety, and Faith Dysfunction
(00:34:51) - Enmeshment & Spiritual Bypassing
(00:42:20) - Navigating Faith & Boundaries
(00:51:36) - When our Faith becomes an Obstacle to Healing
(01:07:26) - An Invitation
(01:08:47) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
- I invite you to just sit with how you felt as you listened.
- Pay attention to the shifts in your emotions; how your body may have reacted as you listened to certain parts of th episode.
- There’s an invitation for you to be with yourself, especially with the more vulnerable, the wounded parts of yourself.
- Be gentle with yourself and maybe look for someone, a safe person, to share any thoughts, any insights or any feelings that may have emerged.

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How Our Desire For Self-Fulfilment Can Lead Us Into Fruitful Service

Wed, 17 May 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 73

Those of us who desire to become more loving and self-transcending can mistakenly believe that our God-given desire for self-fulfilment is something innately selfish. If we are afraid to embrace and lean into our longing for self-fulfilment, we will not be able to become the unique individuals that God created us to be.

In this episode I explain how our longing for self-fulfilment is a powerful means through which God calls us into the specific and unrepeatable personal vocation we are each created to live - which is in turn the most loving and fruitful service we can offer others.

Share this episode via this episode page.

RESOURCES
Clarity Consultative-Coaching with Ann Yeong

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:05:05) - Introduction
(00:06:37) - The Objection
(00:09:40) - Created for Self-Fufillment
(00:12:53) - Serving where the Need is
(00:18:12) - Aligning Ourselves to Our Gifts and Purpose
(00:22:26) - Sometimes being Hindered
(00:26:26) - The Orchestra Analogy
(00:31:15) - What about the Cross?
(00:35:25) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:37:46) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to this episode, what part of my sharing resonates with you?

Ponder.
- How that fear of being self-serving or selfish may have prevented you from taking action to move you forward in becoming the person that God created you to be?

Act.
- Take a moment to list down just three things you've done in the past, where you felt really fulfilled, really alive.

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3 Ways Our Scripts Keep Us From Becoming Who We Are

Wed, 03 May 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 72

Are you aware of the invisible chains of unfreedom and how they keep you from expressing and becoming your true self?

In this episode you will hear me share about three specific ways our life scripts block our path to becoming who God created us to be - in ways you may not have even realised.

Anyone who is serious about discerning their personal vocation can benefit from listening to this episode.

Share this episode via this episode page.

RESOURCES
Clarity Consultative-Coaching with Ann Yeong

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:08:30) - Introduction
(00:15:12) - What are Life Scripts?
(00:17:59) - #1: Constricting Ourselves
(00:21:05) - #2: Distoring our Gifts
(00:30:35) - #3: Externally Directed
(00:36:11) - Recap
(00:38:26) - Tell-tale Signs we are Living our of our Personas
(00:42:45) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:45:43) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to this episode, what resonated with you?

Ponder.
- TWhen was the last time you kind of experienced yourself just automatically reacting in a certain way, in a particular situation, and then later wondering, why did I do that?
- Why is it that I always react that way?
- Try to remember that last time you had such an experience.

Act.
- Try and name that memory that may have come up in step two.
- Why did I react that way or why is it that I always seem to react that way in this kind of circumstance?
- See if you can name what was it that you were trying to do; what were you trying to prove about yourself?
- Cultivate that awareness; what are the patterns that you find yourself repeating? Who are you trying to be? What are you trying to prove?

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Why Can't I Trust The Design God Gave Me?

Wed, 19 Apr 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 71

Even when we have been on the interior journey for a while and have grown in self-knowledge and self-acceptance, we may find that we still struggle to integrate our new awareness into our daily living. Why is that?

In this episode I delve deeper using my own current ongoing struggle of integration to explain why it is that even when we have become much clearer on who we are, we can still find it very difficult to let our be-ing match our understanding and experience.

Share this episode via this episode page.

RESOURCES
Ep 4: Living from the Inside Out
Ep 62: The Four Layers of Self-Knowledge

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:28) - Introduction
(00:04:02) - Common Assumptions we Make
(00:05:34) - It's not that Simple
(00:07:18) - No "One-Size-Fits-All"
(00:10:14) - Framework #1: The 3 Layers of Living
(00:11:55) - Framework #2: The 4 Layers of Self-Knowledge
(00:16:36) - My Traits – 1. Kinesthetic Learner
(00:22:06) - My Traits – 2. Comprehension before Conviction
(00:22:50) - My Traits – 3. Being Explorative
(00:24:22) - My Traits – 4. Not being Hurried
(00:26:37) - My Traits can be Different from my Scripts
(00:28:12) - My Perfectionist Script
(00:44:28) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:46:37) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to me share and talk in this episode, what resonated with you?
- What struck you?

Ponder.
- Can you think of one way that you struggle with God's design for you?
- Notice in your day-to-day living if there is some part of you that resists certain aspects of this design? - What is that aspect?

Act.
- Write this down: I believe I struggle to accept [this part of myself] because [identify a script that goes against this aspect of God's design for you].
- Fill in the blanks, fill in your answers into the [square brackets].

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The Burden of Expectations In Different Seasons of Life

Wed, 05 Apr 2023 00:00:00 +0800

Episode 70

One of the constant challenges we face on our road into authenticity and wholeness is the burden of other people's expectations of us. What we don't often realise is that the "form" of these expectations can change greatly when we are in different seasons of our life, even when we have undergone conversion and growth.

In this episode I share with you three very different seasons in my life and how the initial liberation of one season led to new burdens of expectations that were of a very different nature from the season before.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:02:04) - Introduction
(00:04:35) - Being Shackled by Expectations
(00:12:43) - Examples of the Burdens of Expectation
(00:13:14) - Expectations in the First Season of My Life
(00:18:05) - Expectations in the Second Season of My Life
(00:25:43) - Additional & New Burdens of Expectations
(00:34:53) - Another Call, Another Season
(00:38:50) - Making Sense of God's Call
(00:43:53) - Discerning Personal Vocation
(00:44:57) - What Cross do I Decide on Carrying
(00:46:45) - Q & A
(00:48:48) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:51:15) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to this episode, what struck you?
- What part of my sharing resonated with you?

Ponder.
- Whose expectations are you most afraid of not fulfilling, and why?

Act.
- Identify what you are afraid of losing if you do not live up to those expectations.
- Where is that fear coming from?

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The Pace of Soul Work (with Edwina Yeow)

Wed, 29 Mar 2023 01:00:00 +0800

Episode 69

In this episode I speak with soul guide and companion Edwina Yeow of Anam Cara Ministries about pace in the interior journey.

We share our own experiences of the struggle to slow down, breaking through the compartmentalisation between sacred and secular, and soaking in God's love instead of striving to prove ourselves.

Share this episode via this episode page.

RESOURCE
If you are unfamiliar with Ignatian Contemplation (which is mentioned in this episode) you can find out more here.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:03:34) - Introduction
(00:05:26) - Becoming Spiritual Companions
(00:11:07) - Why we Struggle to Slow Down
(00:21:21) - Going Fast to Avoid Facing the Truth of our Scripts
(00:38:19) - Beyond Compartmentalising Sacred VS Secular
(00:45:47) - Soaking in God's Love Instead of Proving Ourselves
(00:54:38) - Soul Spa & Relaxing with God
(01:13:47) - Praxis Prompts
(01:15:34) - Conclusion
Available here.

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Do We Feel Safe Enough to Discover Our Life's Purpose?

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 68

Is your search for your True Self and the unique calling that God has given you anchored in a sense of existential safety, or is it subtly driven by anxiety and fear?

Many of us long to know who we are and leap ahead to tools of discernment and retreats without realising that a deep confidence that we are being accompanied by God and by our selves in unconditional acceptance and love is a prerequisite that needs to be in place first. In this episode I explain why that is.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:02:03) - Introduction
(00:05:08) - Assumptions
(00:06:23) - The Experience of God's Accompaniment
(00:08:51) - Accompanying Ourselves
(00:14:16) - 4 Layers of Self-Knowledge
(00:14:50) - #1: Intellectual Knowledge
(00:16:09) - #2: Experiential Knowledge
(00:17:35) - #3: Effective Knowledge
(00:21:41) - #4: Unitive Self-Knowledge
(00:26:23) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:28:22) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing in this episode, what struck you?
- Was there something that maybe particularly resonated with you?

Ponder.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how safe would you say you currentldo you feel in this journey of trying to know who you really are?
- How safe do you feel in this process of trying to figure out who you are?

Act.
- Identify one way, in which you feel that you are maybe not safe enough.
- Is there some fear, concern or anxiety that is holding you back from really immersing yourself in this journey with an open heart?

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The Reality of Discerning and Living Out Our Personal Vocation

Wed, 01 Mar 2023 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 67

What is it like to actively discern one's personal vocation and take the steps to follow that discernment in real life? This episode is a live recording I made after I realised I have been holding back on fully acknowledging the new direction God was asking me to take.

In this episode I trace the milestones and turning points of the journey I have taken so far as I follow God's "breadcrumbs" from being an aspiring academic to full time lay pastoral minister in church to budding entrepreneur, content creator and clarity coach for those seeking to know and live the unique life God created and gifted them to live.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:02:28) - Personal Vocation
(00:04:46) - Introduction
(00:08:37) - My Milestones & Background
(00:12:18) - 1. My PhD Journey
(00:22:55) - 2. Full-Time Ministry
(00:25:00) - The Expectations Others had of Me
(00:26:09) - A New Persona
(00:28:58) - What Happened Earlier in the Morning?
(00:35:20) - A New Season
(00:40:56) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

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Letting God Meet You Where You Are This Lent

Wed, 22 Feb 2023 15:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 66 (BONUS)

Can you let God meet you where you REALLY are this Lent? Will you allow yourself to not DO anything for Lent if you are overwhelmed? What might an authentic Lent of interior integration look like for you?

In this special bonus episode recorded live on Ash Wednesday, I share about the struggle when we are overwhelmed by what's going on in our own life and find it difficult to "do" our Lenten practices.

This episode is for anyone who needs the reminder this Lent that God meets us where we are, not where we think we should be.

Share this episode via this episode page.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Why It's Important to Know Our Scripts

Wed, 15 Feb 2023 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 65

Without identifying the scripts that influence our behaviour without our awareness, we would be unable to come into deeper self-knowledge of who we truly are.

In this episode I share why our scripts can affect our ability to know our real selves, including impacting the accuracy of instruments such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®) and Motivation Code (MCODE™).

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:05:25) - Is this part of My Personality or a Trauma Response?
(00:10:26) - How do we know what is part of Our Personas or Our True Selves?
(00:10:48) - 1. Awareness of our Scripts
(00:13:01) - 2. Notice How You Feel – Does it Feel Natural?
(00:14:42) - How Effortlessly do we Live?
(00:16:31) - What has been Driving our Lives?
(00:23:56) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:25:43) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing in this episode, was there anything that resonated with you?

Ponder.
- Think about what your script might be.
- Who's the person that you feel you need to be?

Act.
- List down the adjectives that would describe the person that you feel you have to be.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

How to Have Boundaries with Our Life Scripts

Wed, 01 Feb 2023 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 64

When we start healing and become aware of the life scripts that bind us, it can be especially frustrating when we find ourselves succumbing to "old ways". When this inevitably happens, how can we remain serene?

In this episode, I share some tips on how we can learn to co-exist with the old scripts that get triggered even as we grow in strength to live more authentically and be our true selves.

Share this episode via this episode page.

Cf: EP 8 | The Necessary Practice of Making Space

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:27) - Introduction
(00:02:14) - Being Aware Of What Our Bodies Are Feeling
(00:07:19) - Boundaries With Our Scripts
(00:13:46) - How Can We Have Boundaries With Our Scripts?
(00:14:06) - Identifying Our Scripts & Their Triggers
(00:24:10) - Giving Ourselves Buffers & Space
(00:25:37) - Awareness of Expectations
(00:30:53) - Being Compassionate with Ourselves
(00:33:38) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:35:40) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing in this episode, was there anything that resonated with you?
- Was there something that really connected with your own experience?

Ponder.
- What is the script in your life right now that has the greatest hold over you?
- Is it a script that dictates how you act in your family? Is it at work?
- What are the triggers?

Act.
- Think of one way that maybe you can draw a better boundary with this script that is having a hold over you.
- What is one way you can start to draw a healthy boundary to coexist with this script?
- How can you maybe build some buffer into your life right now around this script and the triggers that tend to set it of?

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (with Nicole Law)

Wed, 07 Dec 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 63

In this bonus episode to round off 2022, Nicole Law interviews me about my thoughts on emotionally healthy spirituality. I speak candidly about the pitfalls of approaching our spiritual life without attention to emotional health and what we can do to take steps towards a more integrated and human spirituality.

This conversation was originally published over 8 mini episodes on nourishthesoul podcast.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:31) - Introduction
(00:01:46) - 2022 Recap
(00:05:45) - Catch Me On Social Media
(00:07:15) - What is 'Emotionally Healthy Spirituality'
(00:17:28) - Some Examples On Emotionally Unhealthy Spirituality
(00:26:02) - Befriending Our Emotions
(00:30:45) - Spiritual Bypassing
(00:38:19) - Why Practice Emotionally Healthy Spirituality?
(00:47:55) - How To Practice Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
(00:52:17) - Why Is It So Difficult?
(00:54:51) - What Can We Do To Live In Our Deeper Layers?
(01:00:22) - Resources To Tap Into
(01:09:09) - An Invitation
(01:11:07) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

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The Four Layers of Self-Knowledge

Wed, 30 Nov 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 62

In this final episode of the series on interior life and leadership, I discuss four distinct and deepening layers of knowing ourselves.

As interior pilgrims we need to understand why self-knowledge needs to go beyond knowing about ourselves to learning how to attune to our inner selves and knowing how to lead ourselves into unity and wholeness.

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RESOURCE
Learn more about my Clarity Consultative-Coaching Package

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:31) - Introduction
(00:01:03) - Leadership Series Recap
(00:04:43) - What I Mean by "Self-Knowledge"
(00:05:56) - The First Layer
(00:07:59) - The Second Layer
(00:09:22) - The Third Layer
(00:12:11) - The Fourth Layer
(00:18:14) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:20:51) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to the Four Layers of Self-Knowledge, what resonated with you?

Ponder.
- Consider which of these four layers of self-knowledge is most familiar to you.
- Which layer of self-knowledge is a surprise to you - maybe something you have not been aware of?

Act.
- Pay more attention to that one layer of self-knowledge that you have not been very aware of
- Spend some time thinking how you can help yourself grow a little bit more in self-knowledge in that particular layer.
- Start with finding out more - whichever layer it is that you've decided to look at a little bit more deeply.
- Resources: ask, seek, read - there are a lot of things that I've already shared in previous episodes. You can find something in there and maybe dive a little deeper in.

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Self-Leadership: Scripts, Temperament & Motivational Design

Wed, 16 Nov 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 61

What does it look like to use what we learn about our scripts, temperament and motivational design to help us show up as our best and also most authentic selves?

In this episode I illustrate what this process can be like in concrete terms using my own experience and journey as an example. I share how growing in self-acceptance, becoming more aware of my scripts and learning about my temperament and motivational design through the Myers-Briggs (MBTI Step II®) and Motivation Code (MCODE®) instruments helped me lead myself into greater authenticity and effectiveness.

Share this episode via this episode page.

RESOURCE
Learn more about my Clarity Consultative-Coaching Package

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:46) - Introduction
(00:02:33) - Self-Leadership and its Principles
(00:06:47) - Disclaimer: Caveat #1
(00:08:41) - Disclaimer: Caveat #2
(00:11:36) - 1. My Scripts
(00:21:36) - 2. Myers-Briggs (MBTI®)
(00:26:05) - My MBTI Type
(00:35:59) - 3. Motivational Design (MCODE®)
(00:45:39) - Caveat Recap
(00:47:01) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:51:05) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listen to this episode today, what resonated?

Ponder.
- Is there some aspect of your temperament or personality that you find difficult to embrace? What is it?

Act.
- If there is something about your temperament or personality that you struggle to accept, consider how the scripts you have about the kind of person you need to be maybe contributing to your lack of self-acceptance.
- Where do you think you learned that script?
- I invite you to spend some time journaling.
- What comes up from asking yourself this question?

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Leveraging our Gifts and Honouring our Limits in Leadership

Wed, 02 Nov 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 60

How can we bring the best that we can offer as a leader through leveraging our areas of giftedness and honouring our limits? What can we do to increase our effectiveness and impact without burning out and without needing to be inauthentic? Sometimes it's not what we have or don't have, but knowing HOW to manage and use what we have that makes all the difference.

In this episode I discuss how we can grow in self-awareness about our gifts and our limits as well as four ways we can use that awareness to be more effective and authentic in our leadership.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:31) - Introduction
(00:07:32) - Personal Experiences
(00:16:03) - Having Clarity About Ourselves
(00:16:52) - How To Use This Clarity To Our Advantage As Leaders
(00:17:20) - 1. Focusing Energy Where Our Gifts & Strengths Can Contribute
(00:18:44) - 2. Remove Tasks Which Drain You
(00:19:33) - 3. Changing The Parameters Of What Doesn't Work For You
(00:20:45) - 4. Set Realistic Expectations For Yourself
(00:25:12) - Different Leadership Contexts
(00:28:23) - 1. Investing In Growing In Authenticity & Wholeness
(00:29:16) - 2. Learning What Our Gifts & Limits Are
(00:31:03) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:35:04) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listen to this episode today, what resonated?
- Were there any points where you've felt or experienced that before?

Ponder.
- At this current point in time, how well are you able to name your strengths and your weaknesses?
- How specific can you be?

Act.
- Make two lists; all the activities you need to do in your role as a leader which energizes you and which drains you.
- Look at the two lists side by; do you see any themes in them?

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Dealing with Our Insecurities in Leadership

Wed, 19 Oct 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 59

What do we do when our insecurity rears its head? When we feel vulnerable and exposed, incompetent but we still have to lead? Denying, suppressing or bypassing our insecurities may give us short-term relief but will inevitably lead us to greater stress and disintegration.

In this episode I explain why learning to recognise and deal with our insecurities in a healthy, self-compassionate way is essential to leading effectively. I go on to offer 4 steps we can take to become better at leading ourselves through our insecurities.

Share this episode via this episode page.

RESOURCES
Safe Spaces for Becoming (with Edwina Yeow)
Being A Safe Space for Myself (with Edwina Yeow)
Counselling or Spiritual Direction (or both?)
Inner-child Healing (with Dr Jean Cheng)
Why Your Family of Origin Impacts You More Than Anything Else (by Adam Young)

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:54) - Introduction
(00:06:50) - Our Scripts of Shame
(00:13:48) - 1. Notice Our Feelings of Insecurity
(00:21:36) - 2. Become Aware of Our Coping Mechanisms
(00:26:30) - 3. Learn Different Responses to Emotional Dysregulation
(00:29:24) - 4. Develop External Resources to Support Us
(00:35:14) - Praxis: Listen. Ponder. Act.
(00:42:53) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Refer to transcript for the full prompt.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

The Perils of Leadership (with Timothy Khoo)

Wed, 05 Oct 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 58

In this special episode of the Leadership series, I share a conversation with a fellow interior pilgrim who had tasted the heights of success in leadership but found himself tumbling into the search for authenticity and meaning when the personas that had defined him were taken from him.

My guest for this episode is a former President and CEO of a global charitable organisation who now lives with the reality of the undeniable fact that true leadership is not only exercised with skilful hands but with integrity of heart. I hope you enjoy listening to this conversation with Timothy Khoo - existential coach, sojourner guide, and founder of Desert Odyssey.

Articles by Timothy:
Falling Into Grace
Actio Sequitur Esse – Action Follows from Essence

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:37) - Introduction
(00:01:38) - Introduction to Timothy Khoo
(00:05:37) - Sojourner Guide
(00:10:24) - How Our Paths Crossed
(00:15:20) - Why is Leadership Challenging to Exercise?
(00:22:42) - Losing Myself
(00:26:44) - Misaligned Character & Charisma
(00:32:08) - How Different are People from One Another?
(00:37:32) - Purpose & Meaning
(00:38:13) - Content & Container
(00:41:22) - Masks & Personas
(01:00:32) - The Fraction Analogy
(01:21:34) - Giving Our Souls Time to Catch Up
(01:31:38) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Leadership: Role vs. Core Identity

Wed, 21 Sep 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 57

Have you ever been so identified with a role that you lose touch with who you are apart from it? Playing an important leadership role can occupy so much of our lives that we forget that our True Self is so much deeper and more multi-faceted than the role(s) we play.

In this episode I talk about the importance of having a strong and integrated core identity so that you lead out of who you are instead of allowing your leadership role to limit your identity. I also talk about the implications of not being able to distinguish between our identity and our role and the need for people in our lives who know us in our fullness and not just for the leadership role we play.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:25) - Introduction
(00:02:04) - Role vs. Core Identity
(00:04:26) - What Happens when we Let our Leadership Roles Define us?
(00:10:40) - Examples of Being Fused to our Roles
(00:12:36) - How do I see Myself Beyond My Persona?
(00:22:20) - Who Can See Beyond Our Personas?
(00:27:20) - Toxic Shame
(00:29:08) - Engaging Our Core
(00:32:09) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:34:03) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to this episode, what struck you?
- What resonated with you?

Ponder.
- Is there a leadership role that you play or are preparing to play that you may be over-identifying with?
- Can only think of yourself in terms of that role?

Act.
- On a piece of paper, list down five reasons or observations that you make that makes you think you may be over identifying with your leadership role.
- What makes you think that? See if you can enumerate a few points.
- Talk to someone who knows you well, whom you trust and who has a more holistic picture of who you are beyond that role that you have to play as a leader.
- Ask them if they have observed any signs that you could be over-identifying with your leadership role and losing touch with your core identity.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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What Your Leadership Script Is & Why It Matters

Wed, 07 Sep 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 56

Scripts are the unspoken silent guidelines that shape our thoughts, our beliefs, and our actions which we learn from our interactions with our environment since our earliest days. Scripts are the lens through which we see and interpret our world - but they are often not in our conscious awareness.

In this episode I share how we each have a leadership script that impacts the way we lead - often without our awareness. I talk about where our scripts come from and why continuing to be unaware of our leadership script can prevent us from being the best leader we can authentically be.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:34) - Introduction
(00:03:57) - What are Scripts?
(00:10:49) - An Example of Scripts
(00:15:25) - Where do our Leadership Scripts Come from?
(00:18:13) - Why out Scripts Make it Hard to Accept Ourselves
(00:22:20) - The "Ideal" Leader VS the Leader I was Created to be
(00:28:11) - First Steps00:31:03 - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:33:10) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing in this episode, was there anything that resonated with you?

Ponder.
- In what way did listening to this episode about leadership scripts change the way you see yourself as a leader?

Act.
- I invite you to think of a particular leadership role that you're playing in your life right now. It could be anything and then list down who it is that you feel you need to be in this role. Describe what that person looks like. That ideal that you feel like you need to be.

After you look at the description of this person or this leader that you feel you need to be. I invite you to ask the question, where do you think this script came from? Where did you learn to value these traits? Where did you learn that?

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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Interior Life & Leadership

Wed, 17 Aug 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 55

We all know how important good leadership is, and many of us fear that we don't measure up when we have to lead. While there are many ways that we can grow to become more effective as a leader, we often fail to appreciate the harm that an inauthentic and insecure leader can cause - even when we possess other leadership abilities.

In this episode, I share about my past struggles with leadership when I was still unaware of my lack of interior integration, and how my dependence on external validation made the burdens of leadership heavier than they would have otherwise been.

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A LEADER'S SPIRITUAITY
For more information or to register, go to https://www.integroformation.com/als.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:13) - Introduction
(00:01:10) - Leadership
(00:02:59) - Our Relationship with Leadership
(00:09:27) - My Own Experience with Leadership
(00:18:10) - Growing into Leaders we are Called to be
(00:21:27) - A Leader's Spirituality
(00:25:23) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:29:46) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing in this episode, was there anything that resonated with you?

Ponder.
- The reality of being a leader often makes one feel lonely. Have you felt that loneliness of being a leader?

Act.
- Continue to explore resources.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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3 Reasons You Can't Find Your Calling

Wed, 03 Aug 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 54

If you have been searching for your calling or personal vocation and still feel that you lack clarity, have you wondered how you can help yourself gain clarity in this process?

In this episode I talk about three reasons we struggle to gain clarity about our personal vocation - a lack of awareness of the scripts that influence our lives; a lack of knowledge about the unique design we have been given; and a lack of interior freedom to be authentic.

Watch the video (without praxis prompts) here.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:25) - Introduction
(00:01:01) - 3 Things that Keep Us from Being Our Best Selves
(00:01:26) - 1. Lack of Awareness of the Scripts that Influence Us
(00:09:07) - 2. Lack of Awareness of My Own Traits & Design
(00:13:17) - 3. Interior Freedom to Choose to be Me
(00:20:27) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:24:07) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing in this episode, was there anything that resonated with you?
- Which part was it that resonated with you?

Ponder.
- Which of the three reasons do you think is maybe most relevant to you at this point in your journey?
- Is it a lack of awareness of the scripts that influence how you live your life?
- Is it a lack of knowledge about yourself, your traits and design?
- Or are you really bumping up into a lack of interior freedom in your life?

Act.
- Take one concrete action towards either learning more about the scripts that influence your life.
- Do one thing to help yourself grow in interior freedom.
- Start considering what is it that's holding you back from daring to be who you are with a guide.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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Season 4 Round-up & A Leader's Spirituality

Wed, 06 Jul 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 53

In this final episode to Season 4, I review what we've covered and once again provide an over-arching view of the thematic arcs of this podcast.

I also talk about A Leader's Spirituality (ALS), an online course that I will be teaching in Sep-Oct 2022 for the Catholic Leadership Centre where we will delve systematically into the fundamental principles spoken about on this podcast. Specifically, this course facilitates participants in learning now to be a more authentic, integrated and spiritually fruitful leader - at work, in families, or in church contexts.

Registration is open through July-August 2022. For more information or to register, go to https://www.integroformation.com/als.

Share this episode via this episode page.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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Performing vs Living Life Fully

Wed, 29 Jun 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 52 (BONUS)

When we are in performance mode we expect to be assessed, evaluated and we seek to impress. There are times when we need to be in performance mode but what if that's how we approach our whole life? We end up exhausted and our identities fuse with the roles we play.

In this bonus episode I reflect about what happens when we don't get out of "performance mode" and end up never really LIVING our life as our full, human, imperfect and work-in-progress selves.

Watch the original video of this episode here.

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TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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Freedom from the Shame that Binds You

Wed, 15 Jun 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 51

Many of us don't realise how much of a hold shame - specifically toxic shame - has over us. When shame is 'toxic', we don't just feel shame over what we do but we experience deep shame over WHO WE ARE.

Toxic shame at the core of our identity re-tells the lie that our worth depends on never making a mistake or never disappointing others.

In this episode I share some of my own experiences of shame and how I began to be freed from the hold that it had over me.

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RESOURCES
Episode 4 & Episode 5 - Living from the Inside Out
Episode 30 - Counselling or Spiritual Direction (or both)?
A Leader's Spirituality

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:16) - Introduction
(00:02:21) - What Shame Really Is
(00:08:08) - An Example of the Effect of Shame
(00:19:23) - My Redemption Moment
(00:24:19) - Shame as an Ally
(00:27:31) - Living from the Inside Out
(00:31:17) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:35:10) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to this episode, what really struck you?

Ponder.
- How does shame show up in your life?

Act.
- Think of one concrete act you can take towards building a more secure relationship with your inner self.
- If you have already been learning more about healing journey for a while, without taking action, I invite you to take that step, to look for someone trained in this area to guide and companion you on this journey.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Building Inner Resilience in Stressful Times

Wed, 01 Jun 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 50

Being our real selves can be difficult even when we are not under duress. How do we build the inner resilience to still act with authenticity even in times of stress and adversity?

In this episode I discuss three factors that impact our inner resilience:

- our level of integration (healing)
- our ability to self-regulate when we are triggered,
- and the availability of the right kind of external support.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:15) - Introduction
(00:03:18) - What is "Resillience"?
(00:10:17) - 3 Factors that Affect our Resillience
(00:11:11) - How Integrated we already are
(00:15:04) - Self-regulating when we are Dysregulated
(00:24:51) - Am I Reacting or Responding?
(00:28:37) - The Impact of my Actions on Others
(00:31:21) - 3. Communal Support
(00:37:13) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:40:53) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing earlier, was there anything that particularly resonated with you? What was it?

Ponder.
- Ponder how resilient do you feel you are right now, with everything that's going on in your life?
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how well do you feel you are really responding?
- How full or empty is your tank; your tank that contains self-compassion, wisdom, resourcefulness?

Act.
- Think of one concrete way that you can top up your tank.
- Think of a way you can give some compassion to yourself or allow someone else to give you compassion.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Inner Child Healing & Healthy Relationships

Wed, 18 May 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 49

When we lack integration in our own identity, we do not have the power to love ourselves or others well. The work of interior integration helps us to love not only much but also love others well.

In this episode I share how inner child healing helped grow my capacity to love others well:
- Made me more self-aware of when I was using connection with others to avoid connecting with myself
- Helped me to stop shape-shifting in relationships
- Helped me learn to recognise where healthy boundaries are and act on them

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:19) - Introduction
(00:02:46) - Three Ways Inner Child Healing Made Me Better at Loving Well
(00:03:08) - 1. Awareness of my Reasons to Reach Out
(00:08:42) - 2. I Stopped "Shapeshifting"
(00:14:46) - 3. Drawing Healthier Boundaries
(00:25:05) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:25:05) - Summary
(00:27:36) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- When you were listening to my sharing in this episode, which points maybe struck you most?
- What resonated with you?

Ponder.
- Which of the three points do you struggle most with in your own relationship with others?

Act.
- Write down in your journal what it is you struggle with.
- What is it about this specific relationship that you can do to make it healthier?
- Think of one specific relationship where you're struggling with drawing boundaries.
- Write down how exactly you're struggling with boundaries in that relationship.
- Let what you've written down then be an impetus to encourage you to continue to take a next step in your interior healing journey.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Loving Much vs Loving Well

Wed, 04 May 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 48

Have you ever felt the frustration and bewilderment of why your love for someone pushes them away or why your beloved feels harmed by your best intentions?

Loving Much ≠ Loving Well. We can love much and harm ourselves and others if we do not also learn how to love well.

In this episode I share how loving well is something we simply cannot do unless we heal and integrate our core selves from the unconscious traumas we may have accumulated in our lives.

You can find the video of the original sharing (without introduction and praxis) from this episode on YouTube here.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:23) - Introduction
(00:06:09) - Loving Much VS Loving Well
(00:08:35) - What Does Loving Well Look Like?
(00:14:26) - Do I Really Need Expert Help?
(00:21:47) - Our Core Self
(00:26:25) - An Invitation
(00:28:53) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:33:44) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing earlier, was there anything that particularly resonated with you? What was it?

Ponder.
- Can think of an instance in which you feel that you have loved much?
- What relationship comes to mind?

Act.
- In what way may you have loved poorly this person that you love very much?
- List one or two ways that you suspect you're not loving him or her well. What is it?

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

Support the show

Inner Child Reparenting: Healing My Relationship with God & Self

Wed, 20 Apr 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 47

Have you ever experienced a dissonance between knowing that you are loved and really FEELING that you are loved in your body? For the longest time I used to think there was something wrong with me because I couldn't really experience the love that I cognitively believed God loved me with.

In this episode I share about why this dissonance existed and how inner child healing finally helped me to bridge that gap. Inner child work was the practical healing I didn't know I needed to help me experience God's love for me - and my love for myself - in an embodied way.

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RESOURCES
How To Know If You Have Experienced Trauma
Why Your Family of Origin Impacts Your Life More Than Anything Else

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:16) - Introduction
(00:02:36) - Our Image of God
(00:04:05) - Dissonance Between my Intellect & Body
(00:14:13) - Recall Memory VS What our Bodies Remember
(00:21:49) - Reparenting my Inner Child
(00:30:49) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:35:06) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing in this episode, was there anything in today's sharing that really resonated with you?

Ponder.
- Have you ever experienced a dissonance between a reality your brain tells you is true, and how your body feels about it?

Act.
- Write down one or two ways in which you have experienced this kind of dissonance between what your mind tells you and what your body feels.
- Write down what it is that you cognitively believe versus what the reactions of your body is telling you about what you actually believe.
- Do not reject or minimize what your emotion, or your body is trying to say to you, don't try to push it down or rationalize it away.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

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How Inner Child Healing Transformed Me

Wed, 06 Apr 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 46

Just what kind of impact can healing your inner child make in your life? In this follow-up episode to the interview with Dr Jean Cheng, I share about three ways that inner child healing helped me increase my capacity for authenticity and integrity by:

- Helping me to stop second-guessing myself;
- Helping me to stop people-pleasing;
- Helping me grow my moral courage to use my voice and stand by my choices calmly

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:21) - Introduction
(00:01:32) - How Inner Child Healing Made Me More Myself
(00:02:30) - 1. Trusting My Intuition & Judgment
(00:09:10) - 2. Less People-Pleasing
(00:14:49) - 3. Grow in Moral Courage
(00:22:37) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:24:11) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing in this episode, was there anything that jumped out at you that really resonated with you?

Ponder.
- Were there, among the three points, one in particular that you also struggle with?

Act.
- Continue to explore resources on inner child healing.
- You may wish to refer to the last episode I recorded with Dr. Jean Cheng.
- Check out the show notes for some book titles and other resources.
- When you're ready, I invite you to seek out a spiritual director, or a counsellor, or a therapist who is trained in inner child work and request to try some inner child healing.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Inner Child Healing (with Dr Jean Cheng): Part 3

Wed, 30 Mar 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 45

In this third and final part of the series on Inner Child Healing with Dr Jean Cheng, we talk about:

- How do we begin to heal our inner child? What is inner child reparenting?
- How does healing our relationship with ourselves help us love others better?
- What might we be able to expect if we embark on inner child healing?

Have about inner child healing? Ask them HERE!

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BOOKS ON INNER CHILD HEALING
Healing Your Aloneness by Erika Chopich & Margaret Paul
Homecoming by John Bradshaw
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lyndsey Gibson
Running on Empty by Jonice Webb

PODCASTS FEATURING DR JEAN CHENG
Reparenting My Inner Child
My Healing Journey

CHAPTER MARKERS
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened the conversation, was there anything that resonated particularly strongly with you?

Ponder.
- How easy is it for you to get in touch gently, without being overwhelmed with your emotions?

Act.
- Take one step towards learning more about inner child work.
- Pick one of these resources to begin with.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

Support the show

Inner Child Healing (with Dr Jean Cheng): Part 2

Wed, 16 Mar 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 44

How did we learn to distrust our emotions? Or to disconnect from our inner knowing about our needs in order to keep pushing through to deliver what is expected of us, even if it harms us?

In this second part of my conversation with Dr Jean Cheng about inner child healing, we talk about how our inner children received wounding and what's at stake when, as adults, our inner children do not find healing

This episode is particularly rich with analysis, examples and stories about children and how these relate to our inner children.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:18) - Introduction
(00:02:16) - How Does An Inner Child Get Wounded?
(00:09:01) - When Does Our Inner Child Start Getting Wounded?
(00:17:27) - What's At Stake If Our Inner Child Does Not Experience Healing?
(00:33:24) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:40:22) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- Was there any part of this episode that resonated particularly strongly with you?
- Pay attention to what that story or sharing, a particular point might be, that you felt resonated with you.

Ponder.
- Stay a little longer with what had come to your attention as you listened to your own reactions.
- Can you identify what emotion you're feeling?
- Take notice of what you're feeling. Don't rush out of this step.

Act.
- Look at a photograph of your younger self. Do you remember how you were at that age?
- Imagine what it was that you had most desired to hear when you were that age.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
- Dr. Jean Cheng's Instagram

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Inner Child Healing (with Dr. Jean Cheng): Part 1

Wed, 02 Mar 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 43

Who or what is my inner child? What is inner child healing and how does it help me in my interior journey?

In this three part series on Inner Child Healing, clinical psychologist Dr. Jean Cheng and I delve into how this particular kind of interior work can help bring us to wholeness and live a more authentic life.

In this episode we hear a little about Dr. Jean Cheng's own journey and get introduced to who/what our inner child is.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:13) - Introduction
(00:01:41) - Introduction to Dr. Jean Cheng
(00:10:07) - Why "Talitha Koum"?
(00:21:45) - Different Parts of our Bodies
(00:25:11) - Our Inner Child
(00:28:05) - Wounded Inner Child
(00:31:35) - Being Curious with our Inner Child
(00:35:56) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:38:55) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- Did you resonate with any particular part of the episode when you were listening to it?
- Was there something that connected with your heart a little bit more?
- Was there any emotion you felt?

Ponder.
- Ponder when was the last time that you remember feeling an emotion that seemed like it came from a younger place in you?

Act.
- Look at some old family photos of your younger self; when you were a little girl or little boy.
- Maybe listen to this episode again, or for the future episodes on inner child, have that photograph ready with you.
- As you listen to us talk about inner child and inner child work and inner child healing, look at that face of your younger self.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
- Dr. Jean Cheng's Instagram

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Enlarging Our Capacity for Authenticity

Wed, 16 Feb 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 42

Many of us long to be more authentic than we are able to be. We feel that our ability to be authentic is constrained by a lack of acceptance from other people. But what if we can increase our internal capacity to be authentic regardless of extrinsic circumstances?

In this episode I talk about how the journey into wholeness enlarges our capacity to be our true selves even when we experience rejection from others.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:20) - Introduction
(00:01:24) - A New Theme
(00:03:18) - Speaking My Truths Vulnerably
(00:10:09) - Capacity To Hold Ourselves
(00:14:21) - Accepting Our True Self
(00:20:58) - Hitting (False) Limits
(00:25:23) - The Healing Journey
(00:29:14) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:32:47) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing in this episode, what hit you? You know, what was one thing that maybe resonated the most with you?

Ponder.
- When was the last time or is there an incident that you can recall where you showed up as yourself and then felt that you were rejected?
- How did you feel?

Act.
- Revisit that memory that you called up for Ponder – that that incident where you experienced showing up as yourself and felt rejected.
- Exercise:
• Spend some time with yourself back in that moment when you were rejected.
• Write a note or write a letter to yourself.
• Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself there's nothing wrong with you.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
- Ep 19 True vs False Limits

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

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Authenticity & Integrity in Times of Scandal

Wed, 09 Feb 2022 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 41 (BONUS)

How do we maintain our course towards greater authenticity and integrity when our Church is rocked by scandal?

In this podcast I talk about how important it is to acknowledge and include our emotions in our response instead of denying, repressing, or bypassing them.

I also share some tips and resources that can help with processing our complex thoughts and emotions in these challenging times.

Watch the original video of this episode here.

Share this episode via this episode page.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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Grounding Tips for Surviving Chinese New Year

Mon, 31 Jan 2022 06:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 40 (BONUS)

Are you stressed during Chinese New Year? Hate the feeling of having to give a "progress report" of your life to relatives who want to know about your marital/family status, work, studies etc?

Here are some simple reminders to help keep you calm, grounded and prepared to honour your boundaries as you go CNY visiting!

Happy Chinese/Lunar New Year everyone!
- Ann Yeong

Watch the video of this episode here.

Share this episode via this episode page.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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Thematic Arcs of Becoming Me (Getting ready for 2022)

Thu, 06 Jan 2022 12:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 39 (BONUS)

In this bonus episode I give a big picture overview of the thematic arcs in the Becoming Me Podcast and how they relate to the interior journey into authenticity. I also talk about what theme to expect in the new season drop for Feb 2022.

Watch the video of this episode here.

For a bonus 5 min video on Allowing Yourself to Change with Life’s Seasons which I made at the turn of the new year, click here.

You can watch the short video message for you on the occasion of Becoming Me's first birthday by clicking HERE.

Share this episode via this episode page.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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End of 2021 Sharing and Thank You

Wed, 29 Dec 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 38 (BONUS)

This podcast episode is the audio version of a video I made for my clients, subscribers, and followers who have been growing with me and my work over 2021.

I share about areas of personal and professional growth I have experienced this year as well as some new offers for those of you who are interested in having me teach or coach you in your interior journey.

Share this episode via this episode page.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

LINKS
Exploratory Integrative Life Consultation with Ann
A Leader's Spirituality (Catholic Leadership Centre)
To register interest, email enquiry.clc@catholic.org.sg.
Follow Ann on Facebook
Follow Ann on Instagram

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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Behind the Scenes of Becoming Me (with Nicole Law)

Wed, 15 Dec 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 37

In this special episode, I take the hot seat and let fellow podcaster Nicole Law, host of nourishthesoul , interview me about my journey with Becoming Me in this first year.

I share the story behind "the call" for me to podcast, my approach to thinking up topics for episodes, insecurities about the podcast's performance and how producing this podcast challenges me to live what I preach in new ways.

Guest Profile, Transcript and Chapter Markers at this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:45) - Introduction
(00:04:16) - "Why did you start podcasting?"
(00:13:59) - "How did you come up with the name 'Becoming Me'?"
(00:19:44) - The challenge of the podcasting process for me
(00:31:09) - "What new waters is the Lord drawing you into?"
(00:36:45) - The process of planning episodes
(00:40:38) - "Is anyone listening?"
(00:44:41) - Podcasting as asynchronous communication
(00:47:39) - Conclusion
Available here.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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Authenticity or Belonging?

Wed, 01 Dec 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 36

Do you ever feel like you have to choose between being true to yourself (authenticity) and being accepted by others (belonging)? For many people, this internal conflict between our need for authenticity and our need for genuine attachment continue to tear our inner lives apart.

Many of us have learned to sacrifice our authenticity for the sake of keeping relationships, but over time we find ourselves deeply unhappy because we have inadvertently abandoned ourselves because of our fear of being abandoned by others.

In this episode I share about my life-long struggle with this tension and how it has changed since I began my interior journey.

Transcript and Chapter Markers at this episode page.

WATCH THE YOUTUBE VIDEO
ANN CHATS | Authenticity or Belonging?

RESOURCE
Exploratory Integrative Life Consultation with Ann

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:40) - Introduction
(00:04:35) - Between Authenticity and Belonging
(00:09:54) - Dr Gabor Maté
(00:15:05) - Experiencing this dilemma as adults
(00:22:22) - A scared little child inside me
(00:25:03) - The source of my healing
(00:30:17) - PRAXIS Listen. Ponder. Act.
(00:38:11) - Exploratory Integrative Life Consultation
(00:41:23) - Conclusion
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today's episode, what struck you? Does something resonate particularly strongly with you?

Ponder.
- When was the last time you felt you had to choose between authenticity and belonging? How did you resolve that tension?
- How do you feel about the choice that you made?
- Did your choice make you feel empty and frustrated?

Act.
- If you often feel torn between authenticity and belonging, you will need inner-integration to help you to get out of that prison. (See transcript for more information)

Support the show

Motivational Design and Personal Vocation (with Dr Joshua Miller PhD): Part 3

Wed, 17 Nov 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 35

What is Motivational Design and how does it give us clues to the unique way we are called to live, work, love and serve?

This is the last of three episodes featuring an interview with Dr. Joshua Miller (PhD), Founder of INSCAPE Personal Vocation Centre and co-author of Unrepeatable: Cultivating the Unique Calling of Every Person.

In Part 3, Dr Miller and I talk about how living in alignment with our motivational design and Personal Vocation helps us not only live with greater joy and fulfilment but also allows us to pour ourselves out more fully in service of others and become more willing to bear difficulties and pain with greater love.

We also address the questions of whether it is ever too late in life to begin discerning personal vocation, what the most common obstacle to discerning personal vocation is, and what if we struggle to believe that our stories matter or that we even have any significant gifts to offer to the world.

Guest Profile, Transcript and Chapter Markers at this episode page.

RESOURCE
Joshua Miller, Luke Burgis, "Unrepeatable: Cultivating the Unique Calling of Every Person"
The Motivation Code™
MCODE™ Coaching with Ann Yeong

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:03:04) - Motivational Design Impacts the Living of Priestly Vocation
(00:07:31) - The Need for A Culture of Personal Vocation
(00:09:11) - Our Motivational Design Helps Us Love Better
(00:15:30) - Personal Vocation Helps Us Meet Challenges More Fully
(00:21:23) - Is it Too Late to Discern Personal Vocation?
(00:27:32) - Obstacles to Discerning Personal Vocation
(00:30:49) - A Message
(00:36:37) - Praxis: Listen. Ponder. Act.

REFLECTION PROMPT
For this episode's reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 6 Listening to Your Life Speak
- Ep 18 You Don't Have To Care About Everything
- Ep 32 Your Unique Design for Thriving

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Motivational Design and Personal Vocation (with Dr Joshua Miller PhD): Part 2

Wed, 03 Nov 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 34

What is Motivational Design and how does it give us clues to the unique way we are called to live, work, love and serve?

This is the second of three episodes featuring an interview with Dr. Joshua Miller (PhD), Founder of INSCAPE Personal Vocation Centre and co-author of Unrepeatable: Cultivating the Unique Calling of Every Person.

In Part 2, we discuss the following questions: What’s at stake if we ignore our motivational design? Do people ever struggle to accept their given motivational design? How does the larger community benefit from us living out our motivational design? And why is understanding of Personal Vocation so important if we are to live authentic, fulfilling lives that also offer authentic service to humanity?

Guest Profile, Transcript and Chapter Markers at this episode page.

REFERENCES
Personal Vocation

RESOURCE
Joshua Miller, Luke Burgis, "Unrepeatable: Cultivating the Unique Calling of Every Person"
Parker Palmer, "Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation"

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:03:17) - What's at Stake if We Ignore Our Motivational Design?
(00:08:33) - Do People Struggle to Accept Their Motivational Design?
(00:14:59) - How Does the Larger Community Benefit from Motivational Design?
(00:22:31) - Why is Understanding Personal Vocation important?
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
For this episode's reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 6 Listening to Your Life Speak
- Ep 18 You Don't Have To Care About Everything
- Ep 32 Your Unique Design for Thriving

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
FIND OUT MORE

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Motivational Design and Personal Vocation (with Dr. Joshua Miller PhD): Part 1

Wed, 20 Oct 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 33

What is Motivational Design and how does it give us clues to the unique way we are called to live, work, love and serve?

This is the first of three episodes featuring an interview with Dr. Joshua Miller (PhD), Founder of INSCAPE Personal Vocation Centre and co-author of Unrepeatable: Cultivating the Unique Calling of Every Person.

In Part 1, Dr. Josh Miller and I talk about what Motivational Design is, the importance of broadening the definition of "service" to consider the unique motivational design of each person, and why it is important to locate our unique place in the bigger story of humanity.

Guest Profile, Transcript and Chapter Markers at this episode page.

REFERENCES
Personal Vocation
Personalism
Alasdair MacIntyre (Philosopher)
Charles Taylor (Philosopher)
Jerome Bruner (Psychologist)
Gerard Manley Hopkins (Priest & Poet)

RESOURCE
Joshua Miller, Luke Burgis, "Unrepeatable: Cultivating the Unique Calling of Every Person"

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:10:21) - Re-thinking What 'Service' Is
(00:16:22) - Philosophy of the Human Person
(00:19:18) - Finding My Story in the Bigger Story
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
For this episode's reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 6 Listening to Your Life Speak
- Ep 18 You Don't Have To Care About Everything
- Ep 32 Your Unique Design for Thriving

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
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Your Unique Design for Thriving

Wed, 06 Oct 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 32

A lack of self-compassion can often come from unrealistic expectations or comparison with others who have very different gifts than we do.

In this 1 year anniversary episode of the Becoming Me Podcast, I talk about why learning to understand your unique personal design can help you make your interior journey with greater grace and ease even when circumstances are challenging.

You can watch the short video message for you on the occasion of Becoming Me's first birthday by clicking HERE.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:01:27) - Introduction
(00:03:33) - Our Design Matters
(00:13:23) - Working With Your Design
(00:20:54) - Honouring Limits
(00:24:22) - Learning About Your Unique Design
(00:28:36) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to this episode, was there any point that struck you or resonated deeply with you?
- Was there something that jumped out at you?

Ponder.
- Can you think of an instance where you feel like you're running uphill or struggling really hard to get something done ?
- Is it possible that you are struggling so much because how you are approaching your work, or the environment that you're in goes against your unique personal design, and you don't realize that.

Act.
- Make a commitment to yourself to learn more about your unique design so that you can love yourself better.
- Accompany yourself better in your interior journey.
- Write a letter to yourself if you're ready to make this commitment.
- Maybe ask a good friend or significant other, whom you think would be a good companion on this journey to join you.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

RELATED EPISODES
- Ep 6 Listening to Your Life Speak
- Ep 17 & 19 Befriending Our Limits (with Henry Hoo)
- Ep 18 You Don't Have to Care About Everything
- Ep 24 Is It Selfish to Live the Life I Want?

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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Personal Integrity & Authenticity (in Evangelisation)

Wed, 29 Sep 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 31 (BONUS)

This episode is edited from a live breakout session I presented in July 2021 at the New Evangelisation Conference (Catholic Archdiocese of Singapore). In this episode, I share how my pursuit of a deeper relationship with God and my desire to serve in full-time pastoral ministry led me to realise that I needed to make the journey into authenticity and wholeness and that being REAL was more important than a constant striving to be 'GOOD'.

There is also a Q&A session near the end with some really honest questions!

Watch the full video recording and share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:03:34) - I Am Not the God of Instant Tea
(00:07:20) - Are You Willing to Suffer for Me?
(00:11:49) - Your Mission is Full-Time Ministry
(00:13:19) - Personal Vocation
(00:15:20) - Old Habits Die Hard
(00:19:31) - Crash & Burn (Out)
(00:21:20) - You Are Human
(00:21:41) - Are You Freely Laying Down Your Life?
(00:22:49) - Ship in Dry Dock
(00:23:54) - Can You Learn To Be A Creature
(00:27:36) - Running Ahead of Grace
(00:27:55) - The Pace of Grace
(00:29:23) - A Long Loving Look At The Real
(00:30:34) - At Peace With The Struggle
(00:30:59) - Messily Loved into Wholeness
(00:32:11) - Becoming Me
(00:34:05) - Kopi Talk: Episode 3
(00:36:01) - Q&A
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

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Counselling or Spiritual Direction (or both)?

Wed, 15 Sep 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 30

How familiar are you with the emotional and spiritual challenges of your interior journey? When and why should you consider getting counselling/therapy or spiritual direction? How are they different from each other and how do you know which one you need?

In this episode, I offer an introductory explanation to the questions above and offer a real illustration of how the emotional and spiritual dimensions of the interior journey are connected and how these resources can help through a sharing of my own story.

Share this episode via this episode page.

Find out more about Counselling and Spiritual Direction
- Counselling & Therapy in Singapore (article by Sassy Mama)
- 21 Places to Get Counselling in Singapore to (article by The Smart Local)
- Life Direction Singapore
- Lifesprings Spirituality Centre
- Kingsmead Spirituality Centre
- San Damiano Spirituality Centre

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:41) - Introduction
(00:04:30) - Spiritual Direction vs Counselling
(00:08:57) - Seeking God Because I Was Lonely
(00:19:22) - Unfree to Love (Toxic Shame)
(00:29:36) - Led to Seek Therapy
(00:39:49) - How Counselling & Spiritual Direction Worked Together
(00:44:37) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
(00:47:19) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to my sharing in this episode, what struck you?
- Notice how you felt at those parts.

Ponder.
- Have you availed yourself to the spiritual and psychological resources that could help you in your interior journey?
- If your answer is no, why not? What's holding you back?

Act.
- What is one step you can take towards finding a spiritual director or a counsellor that could give you much needed support in your interior journey?

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

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3 Ways We Make Things Harder for Ourselves

Wed, 01 Sep 2021 05:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 29

Making the interior journey into authenticity and wholeness is not easy. But could we also be making it even more difficult than it has to be?

In this episode I talk about three common ways we often unwittingly sabotage ourselves by treating ourselves with contempt, having unrealistic expectations, and not availing ourselves to the support we need.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:08) - Introduction
(00:01:04) - 1. Self-contempt
(00:09:52) - 2. Unrealistic Expectations
(00:20:34) - 3. Not Getting Sufficient Help
(00:28:22) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
(00:33:18) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to this episode, which points maybe resonated with you more?
- Was there something that jumped out at you?

Ponder.
- Which of the three points do you feel is the most relevant for you?
- Which one of these are more of an issue for you at this point in time?

Act.
- With one of the three points you have picked, consider one thing you can do towards helping yourself.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 12 Am I Regressing?
- Ep 24 Is it Selfish to Live the Life I Want?
- Ep 26 Can You Be Gentler With Yourself?

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

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You Don't Complete Me Part 2/2 (with Henry Hoo)

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 28

What impact does making the interior journey have on a marriage? Henry and I look back at our 22 years of couple-hood and 14 years of marriage and share how our own commitment to our individual healing and integration has transformed our relationship.

In Part 2 of this conversation we continue to talk about how practicing healthy boundaries transformed our relationship, how we have learned to respond when our insecurities are triggered and how becoming more skilled at repairing ruptures in our relationship has made us less afraid of conflict.

Share this episode via this episode page:

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:06:42) - Dealing with Triggers
(00:13:32) - “I Need To” vs. “I Want To”
(00:14:20) - Explicit Communication
(00:18:37) - Repairing
(00:25:03) - Final Note
(00:31:02) - Announcements
(00:31:59) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to the conversation between Henry and myself, what struck you?
- Hold that in your heart, or journal it. You may want to return to it later.

Ponder.
- Why do you think that those were the points that struck you?

Act.
- What might be one thing that you can commit to in your interior journey for the sake of your loved one?
- Try and come up with a concrete step that you could take.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 4 & 5 Living from the Inside Out
- Ep 14 Where Do You End and I Begin?
- Ep 23 Safe Spaces for Growth: Trust, Truth and Compassion
- Ep 27 You Don't Complete Me Part 1/2 (with Henry Hoo)

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

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You Don't Complete Me Part 1/2 (with Henry Hoo)

Wed, 04 Aug 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 27

What impact does making the interior journey have on a marriage? Henry and I look back at our 22 years of couple-hood and 14 years of marriage and share how our own commitment to our individual healing and integration has transformed our relationship.

In Part 1 of this conversation we talk about the liberating discovery that we are not meant to complete each other, the joy of discovering beauty in what IS in the here and now, and what practicing healthy boundaries with our selves and each other has done for our marriage.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:02:01) - Three Layers of Living
(00:03:23) - First Point - You Don't Complete Me
(00:16:08) - Second Point - Striving for the "Ideal"
(00:22:38) - Third Point - Boundaries within a Marriage
(00:35:15) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to the conversation between Henry and myself, what struck you?
- Was there some pot that you could identify with in your own experience, perhaps in your marriage or some other intimate relationship?

Ponder.
- In what ways might you have unknowingly made it harder for yourself to be happy in your relationship by seeking completion or happiness from your partner?

Act.
- Identify one area in your life where you have struggled to be patient and kind to yourself.
- Find some quiet alone time and have conversation with that part of you, that part of you who struggles to live up to your ideal self.
- Sit with yourself as you would a beloved child or a dear friend, and just listen.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 4 & 5 Living from the Inside Out
- Ep 14 Where Do You End and I Begin?

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Can You Be Gentler With Yourself?

Wed, 21 Jul 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 26 (BONUS)

Do you try to dominate and push yourself into living more authentically? Or have you learned to accompany yourself with reverence and compassion?

(This episode first appeared as an IGTV and Facebook video. You can find it on YouTube as well.)

Share this episode via this episode page.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 7 Be Curious, Courageous & Compassionate with Yourself

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

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I Know I Need to Slow Down But I Can't

Wed, 30 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 25 (BONUS)

What do you do when you find yourself living life at an unsustainable pace? Do you slow yourself down or find yourself peddling harder, thinking that you'll catch up if you go fast enough?

In this special bonus episode, I bring you 'behind the scenes' into how I accompany myself when I struggle with slowing down even when I know that's what I need. My sharing illustrates how I try to honour the pace I need when life throws some unexpected curve balls.

I also share a couple of announcements about an upcoming live event that I will be part of as well as a course that I will be teaching.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:45) - A Different Kind of Episode
(00:04:21) - Life's Curve Balls
(00:14:50) - What's At Stake if I Don't Slow Down?
(00:18:59) - Announcements
(00:21:17) - PRAXIS Question
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
- If you don't slow down, what will you end up sacrificing? And if you don't want to pay the price, what can you do to make a change of pace so that you can give yourself a little bit more grace, a little bit more room to be present to yourself and to those whom you love?

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 4 Living from the Inside Out (Part 1)
- Ep 8 The Necessary Practice of Making Space
- Ep 9 The Wisdom in Slowing Down

LINKS MENTIONED
New Evangelisation Conference 2021
A Leader's Spirituality Course

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Is it Selfish to Live the Life I Want?

Wed, 16 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 24

It can be easy to feel guilty for wanting to live a life that would make ourselves happy. As a result, many of us end up living according to other people's desires for us instead of choosing a life aligned to our own heart's deep desire.

In this episode, I explain why listening to our heart's deep gladness is a necessary part of living a life that truly blesses others.

Share this episode via this episode page.

Blog Post: Your Life is About You (Too)

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:40) - Is it Selfish to Honour Our Desires?
(00:06:08) - The Danger of Not Listening to Our Desires
(00:13:22) - Respecting Our Design
(00:20:11) - Our Deep Desires Show Us Our Design
(00:26:07) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today's episode, what struck you? Does something resonate particularly strongly with you?

Ponder.
- How do you feel when you imagine yourself living a life that is aligned with your heart's deep gladness?
- What emotions do you feel?

Act.
- Identify; on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your life right now?
- On a piece of paper, list down all the things that are holding you back from living your life at a 10.
- Look at your list and ask yourself what step can I take today to begin making this list shorter?

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 3 You Are Worth Becoming
- Ep 14 Where Do You End and I Begin?
- Ep 21 Safe Spaces For Becoming (with Edwina Yeow)
- Ep 22 Being A Safe Space For Myself (with Edwina Yeow)

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

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Safe Spaces for Growth: Trust, Truth and Compassion

Wed, 02 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 23

If we want go beyond feeling accepted for being who we are and to actually grow in authenticity and wholeness and become our best selves, we will need safe spaces that will give us the courage and faith to confront the things in our lives that need confronting.

In this episode, I expand on the theme of safe spaces to look at three essential ingredients that are required for a safe space to be conducive for interior growth and talk about why they are necessary if we want real transformation in our lives.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:42) - Safety Beyond Comfort
(00:04:41) - Trust, Truth and Compassion
(00:09:43) - My Inability to Trust Myself
(00:16:31) - The Power of Safe Spaces to Set Free
(00:22:45) - Are You Ready to Take Action?
(00:28:33) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today's episode, what struck you? Does something resonate particularly strongly with you?

Ponder.
- How would you rate the level of trust you have in yourself right now?
- Why did you give yourself that rating?
- Are you happy with how much you trust yourself? Why?

Act.
- Identify an area in your life which you wish could be met with truth and compassion.
- Reflect on what is holding you back from seeking the help you need.
- Write down what you are feeling and hold those truths with love and compassion.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Blog Post: Unbound and Set Free

PARRHESIA www.parrhesia.sg

Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 21 Safe Spaces For Becoming (with Edwina Yeow)
- Ep 22 Being a Safe Space for Myself (with Edwina Yeow)
- Ep 7 Be Curious, Courageous & Compassionate with Yourself

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Being A Safe Space For Myself (with Edwina Yeow)

Wed, 19 May 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 22

How hospitable are you to yourself? Does your inner self feel safe to reveal itself to you? Are you able to believe that all your emotions - even anger, hurt, envy, and other 'negative' feelings come bearing a gift for you?

This episode is the second half of a two-part conversation I have with experienced soul guide and spiritual companion Edwina Yeow . We discuss what it means to become a safe space for ourselves.

Share this episode via this episode page.

Contact Edwina Yeow.

Blog Post: From Shame to Freedom

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:01:43) - How can I stop being self-critical?
(00:11:35) - Beginner tips for self-hospitality
(00:15:37) - Befriending negative emotions
(00:21:09) - Unconditional self-acceptance
(00:30:18) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today's episode, what struck you?

Ponder.
- At this point in your life and in your journey, how safe a space are you to yourself?
- How hospitable are you to your own emotions and the physical sensations that your body may feel?

Act.
- Notice the emotions that are surfacing in the course of your daily life.
- Allow whatever thoughts, judgments, criticisms that might surface be contained. Give permission for the feelings to just be without criticising them.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 21 Safe Spaces For Becoming (with Edwina Yeow)
- Ep 7 Be Curious, Courageous & Compassionate with Yourself

Article: Loving Your Inner Enemies by Alison Cook PhD

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

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Safe Spaces For Becoming (with Edwina Yeow)

Wed, 05 May 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 21

Have you experienced a lack of understanding and acceptance when you had opened up to someone you trusted about your interior journey? We need people who can be safe spaces for us as we make this journey, but we need to know how to identify them.

In this first half of a two-part conversation I have with experienced soul guide and spiritual companion Edwina Yeow, we discuss why we need safe spaces and how to identify if someone can be a safe space for us.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:06:30) - Why do we need a safe space for the interior journey?
(00:11:14) - What constitutes a safe space?
(00:13:51) - Why our loved ones may not be safe spaces
(00:20:24) - How can I tell if someone is a safe space?
(00:29:40) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today's episode, what struck you? Does something resonate particularly strongly with you?

Ponder.
- Can you remember any time in your life where you have experienced what we describe as a safe space? Who was it that made you feel like you could really just be who you are and not be judged or evaluated or criticised?

Act.
- Where you are now in your journey could be quite different from the last time that you experienced being in a safe space with someone.
- Try to identify someone whom you think could be a safe space for you now, at this point of your journey.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Blog Post: Where can I be unafraid to become who I truly am?

Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 7 Be Curious, Courageous & Compassionate with Yourself

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Why Things Get Worse Before They Get Better

Wed, 21 Apr 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 20

Why is it that we often wait until things get worse, sometimes until we hit bottom, before we really try to address the destructive patterns in our lives? Why is it that we have so much inertia to seek help or address our issues even when we are in pain?

In this episode, I share 3 reasons based on my own life experience and observations why this happens more often that we would like to admit.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:09:39) - 1st Reason: It's Too Hard
(00:11:26) - 2nd Reason: It's How We Learn
(00:13:38) - 3rd Reason: Intense Pain Wakes Us Up
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Blog Post: How much do you desire to be your True Self?

Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 7 Be Curious, Courageous & Compassionate with Yourself

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

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True vs. False Limits (with Henry Hoo)

Wed, 07 Apr 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 19

How can we tell the difference between true limits which are meant to be honoured and false limits which could be an invitation to transcend the limiting beliefs that we inherited from our life script?

In this follow-up conversation about limits (Episode 17), my husband Henry shares his experiences with both true and false limits in the context of leadership. We also talk about how to differentiate between true and false limits and how both play a role in our journey into authenticity.

Share this episode via this episode page.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Blog Post: False Limits - Lies That Keep Us Stagnant

This episode is a follow-up to Ep 17 Befriending Our Limits. (Ceiling vs Springboard is mentioned at 27:29 min)

Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 4 & 5 Living from the Inside Out (Part 1 & 2)
- Ep 6 Listening to Your Life Speak
- Ep 7 Be Curious, Courageous & Compassionate with Yourself

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

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You Don't Have To Care About Everything

Wed, 31 Mar 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 18 (BONUS)

Are you overwhelmed by the sheer number of things that you feel you need to care about? In this bonus episode, I remind you why it is that you don't need to care about everything that is good or worth caring about.

An essential part of the interior journey into authenticity and wholeness is knowing yourself well and where and how you - with your limitations - are uniquely created to make an impact in the world.

Share this episode via this episode page.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Blog Post: A Letter for the Overwhelmed

Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 4 & 5 Living from the Inside Out (Part 1 & 2)
- Ep 6 Listening to Your Life Speak
- Ep 7 Be Curious, Courageous & Compassionate with Yourself

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Befriending Our Limits (with Henry Hoo)

Wed, 17 Mar 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 17
How do you feel when you hit up against your limits? Most of us have been taught that limits are meant to be surpassed and that growth comes when we push past our present limits. But what if some limits are meant to be embraced? What if some of our limits are important signs we need to understand in order to become our True Selves?

In this episode, my guest (my husband Henry) and I discuss how our personal experiences with limits have helped us to live more joyfully and become our authentic selves.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:42) - Introduction to Limits
(00:03:59) - Introducing Henry
(00:08:27) - Limits Lead to Gratitude
(00:14:00) - Limits Force Us to Prioritise
(00:23:09) - Limits Help Us Know Our True Self
(00:28:24) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

BLOG
The Power of Limits for Intentional Living

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today's episode, what struck you? Does something resonate particularly strongly with you?

Ponder.
- What limit or limitation are you facing up to in this season of your life?
- How do you feel about facing this limitation?

Act.
- Try sitting down with this limit and speak to him or her like an old friend asked this old friend of yours, what he, or she might be telling you about yourself.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 4 & 5 Living from the Inside Out (Part 1 & 2)
- Ep 6 Listening to Your Life Speak
- Ep 7 Be Curious, Courageous & Compassionate with Yourself

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

The Joy of Hiddenness

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 16

When was the last time you went away to a quiet place to spend some extended quality time with your inner self? No interior life pilgrim will be able to make headway in this journey without entering seasons of hiddenness from time to time.

In this episode I share why seasons of hiddenness from the distractions and pressures of our lives are invaluable for going within and connecting with the core of our being.

Do you feel like you have been losing touch with your inner self? Or that busyness has been keeping you circling on the outer layer of your life without being able to pay attention to the core of your being? This episode is meant for you!

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today's episode, what struck you?

Ponder.
- How does entering a season of hiddenness make you feel?
- What is your emotional response telling you about the state of your inner being?

Act.
- Identify an area or two in your life that would benefit from a time of hiddenness.
- Plan for a period of time to get away to be hidden where you can be in silence and solitude and be tended to.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Blog: Hide Me So I Can Be Found

Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 4 & 5 Living from the Inside Out (Part 1 & 2)
- Ep 8 The Necessity of Making Space
- Ep 9 The Wisdom in Slowing Down

Interested in Going on Retreat?
Retreat Go Where? Relaxing spots for a spiritual getaway in Singapore.
Spiritual Retreats: A Time to Refresh Our Souls (Salt & Light)

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Help, I'm An Impostor!

Wed, 17 Feb 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 15

Do you sometimes feel like a fraud, and that you're not as ____________ (fill in the blank) as other people think you are? Do you sometimes feel even more fake when others praise you and look up to you?

In this episode I talk about how feeling like an impostor and being unable to feel joy at our achievements could be an indication that our lives are out of alignment with our inner selves.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:14) -Introduction
(00:03:31) - Expectations Not In Line With Reality
(00:06:19) - Choosing Authenticity
(00:12:03) - Feeling Like An Imposter
(00:16:38) - The Real Deal
(00:20:22) - Out Of Alignment
(00:22:21) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
(00:24:12) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today's episode, what struck you? Does something resonate particularly strongly with you? What emotions or thoughts came up in response as you listened?

Ponder.
- What was it that resonated with you in this episode? Why do you think this specific part of the episode resonated with you?

Act.
- Can you remember a time or an incident when you felt like an impostor? Others could be praising you or looking up to you, and yet you feel that you didn't deserve it and felt out of place. Take some time to journal about this. Describe the circumstances and what felt fake to you.
- Next, remember an instance in your life when you felt deeply aligned with your inner self even if you did not understand why...

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Blog: Why Can't I Just Be Me?

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

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Where Do You End and I Begin?

Wed, 03 Feb 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 14

Do you find that you have a hard time differentiating your own emotions and needs from that of your family or significant others? Do you feel that you are responsible for making sure that other people are happy and end up living a life that others want you to live instead of living the life that makes YOU more fully alive?

In this episode I talk about how I realised that a lack of healthy boundaries was an obstacle to growing into my True Self, and how learning to practice healthy boundaries helped me to heal and become clearer in my identity.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- Did anything resonate particularly strongly with you?
- What emotions came up in response?

Ponder.
- Do you struggle more with becoming emotionally intimate or with being too emotionally needy? Can you differentiate your needs from others'?

Act.
- List significant relationships in your life. Label them accordingl to:
A. Too distant
B. Too close
C. Just right

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Blog: That's Not Love, That's Enmeshment

Poem: Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Articles:
12 Signs You Lack Healthy Boundaries (and Why You Need Them)
Signs that You May Be in an Enmeshed Relationship
13 Signs You Grew Up in an Enmeshed Family

Podcast:
Why Your Family of Origin Impacts Your Life More Than Anything Else

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

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The Impossible Race To Be Good Enough

Wed, 20 Jan 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 13

Have you ever felt that you had to be _________ enough (fill in the blank) in order to be loveable? In this episode I share my experience of chasing an 'ideal self' that I could never quite catch up with. The closer I seemed to come to my ideal self, the more fearful I became of failure because I believed I would be loved only if I was "good enough."

I talk about why even noble ideals can get distorted unintentionally when we use them as a means to get the love we need, and how you can begin to identify the nature of the "impossible race" that you may be running in your life.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:10) - Introduction
(00:01:33) - Chasing An Ideal Image
(00:05:49) - Imitation vs. The Real Deal
(00:08:20) - Abundance vs. Poverty of Heart
(00:15:43) - PRAXIS. Listen. Ponder. Act.
(00:17:37) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today's episode, what struck you? Does something resonate particularly strongly with you? What emotions or thoughts came up in response as you listened?

Ponder.
- What impossible race are you running? What are the rules you feel you have to abide by? Or the things that you have to do in order to be seen, affirmed and loved? What has been your experience of running this race so far? What words would you use to describe it?

Act.
- Try and remember a time, a place in which you did not have to run your impossible race, where you could relax and be yourself and be loved and accepted as you were.
- Where were you? Who were with you if there was anyone? What was near you? What were you doing?

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Blog: Can I Ever Be 'Good Enough' For You?

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

"Am I Regressing?"

Wed, 06 Jan 2021 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 12

Have you ever felt like you were regressing in your journey? It is a common experience among many who have started to take their interior life in earnest to feel discouraged when it seems they have stopped moving forwards and started back-sliding.

In this episode I share why regressing is normal for pilgrims of the interior journey, why the usual "goal-setting" mindset doesn't really apply in this journey, and how we can let these seasons of regression help us rather than hinder us.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:10) - Introduction
(00:05:21) - What Regression Looks and Feels Like
(00:07:06) - Regression in the Interior Journey is Normal
(00:12:44) - Regression Can Be Helpful
(00:21:31) - A Season for Everything
(00:24:44) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
(00:27:14) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- When you find yourself feeling like you're regressing, take note of how you're feeling. What is the emotion?

Ponder.
- Why do you think or feel that you're regressing? What are the markers that are making you think that you're going backwards?

Act.
- Read some of your old journal entries.
- Jot down main milestones of your personal journey.
- Look at how all those turning points in your life have led you here.
- Write a list of what you're grateful for in your journey thus far. Keep the list close where you can review whenever you feel discouraged for regressing.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Blog: "When Growth Feels Like Backsliding"

Other episodes that would help you understand and apply the lessons in this episode:
- Ep 4 Living from the Inside Out (Part 1)
- Ep 5 Living from the Inside Out (Part 2)
- Ep 7 Be Curious, Courageous & Compassionate with Yourself.

PODCAST COMPANION WORKBOOK
- Downloadable & Printable
- 10 worksheets, over 30 exercises
- Helps you integrate and apply the foundational principles to Becoming Me
- Great for inner work and connecting with yourself in solitude
- Includes tips for partner and small-group sharing
- Free for all e-mail newsletter subscribers

FIND OUT MORE

Support the show

Permission to Be "Un-Merry" This Christmas

Sat, 12 Dec 2020 20:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 11 (BONUS)

Christmas is just around the corner, everyone seems to be merry - but are they really? Are YOU? What if you don't feel like celebrating this Christmas? Does it mean you are being a Scrooge, a Humbug?

As someone who still feels contradictory emotions every time Christmas season rolls around, I made this special episode for everyone who needs to acknowledge that they are less than happy during Christmas. I want to assure you that not wanting to celebrate in the usual way does not mean you cannot welcome the incredible gift that Christmas brings.

Come as you are, come even if you're sad, or grumpy, or just want to be left alone. Christmas is for you too!

Share this episode via this episode page.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

GLOSSARY FOR THIS EPISODE
Some terms you may not be familiar with which I use in this episode:
Solemnity - Refers to a particularly great celebration for Catholics

Eucharist/ Blessed Sacrament - Refers to the round host - the bread that has been blessed and consecrated at holy mass into the Body of Christ.

Perpetual Adoration Chapel - Refers to a chapel where the Blessed Sacrament is present, often exposed, for adoration by the faithful, and which is open 24 hours a day.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Blog: Permission to be Un-Merry this Christmas

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Turning Our Loneliness Into Solitude

Wed, 25 Nov 2020 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 10

Many of us encounter people in our lives who cannot understand the new direction we are taking in our lives to know our True Selves. The experience of being alone on this journey can often make us doubt if we are on the right track.

In this episode I look at one of the most common reasons beginners on the interior journey get discouraged and offer an explanation of why this struggle exists as well as how we can respond to our loneliness fruitfully.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:07) - Introduction & Announcement
(00:04:11) - Loneliness on the Interior Journey
(00:09:40) - STORY: Realising My Soul Missed Me
(00:13:37) - When Others Don't Understand
(00:18:20) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
(00:20:49) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today’s episode, what struck you?
- What emotions or thoughts came up in response as you listened?

Ponder.
- What is your default response when you begin to feel lonely or unsupported? Do you run away from loneliness? How do you do that?

Act.
- Write a short note or letter to yourself as you would to a dear friend.
- Tell yourself that you will always be available to spend time with you.
- The next time you realize that you are feeling lonely, read this letter before you do anything to distract yourself.
- Spend that time that you've promised yourself, listen to your soul and get to know your neglected inner-self.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Blog: "The Grace of Loneliness"
Blog: "Crossing the Threshold of Loneliness"
Quote by Henri Nouwen "From Loneliness into Solitude"

Book Section. Henri Nouwen. "Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life". The first section of the book Reaching Out to Our Innermost Self is about the movement from Loneliness into Solitude.

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The Wisdom in Slowing Down

Wed, 18 Nov 2020 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 9

Making the interior journey and living from the inside-out requires us to learn a new way of being and acting. The process of learning to live from the inside-out consist of deep soul work that cannot be done while we are living at the typical “warp speed” of our modern lives.

In this episode I explain how “slow is fast, and fast is slow” when it comes to living the interior life and offer some practical suggestions on how to create your own Slowing Down Routine when you need to exit the expressway and enter a more contemplative space for inner life work.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Introduction
(00:00:55) - Learning to Touch Type
(00:07:46) - Dissipated Speed vs Grace and Ease
(00:10:57) - Slowing Down and Creating Space
(00:14:39) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
(00:17:23) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today’s episode, what struck you?
- What emotions or thoughts came up in response as you listened?

Ponder.
- What signs might there be in your life that are telling you that you have been moving too fast and that you need to slow down?

Act.
- Create your own Slowing Down Routine if you don’t have one yet.
- Set aside some time and make a date with yourself. Solitude is important for this routine because it is your inner self that you need to reconnect with.
- Decide on a venue and a simple activity. Pick a place where you will not be disturbed and where the environment is reasonably quiet and conducive for calming you down.
- Choose an activity that you enjoy and does not require you to multi-task, perform or achieve.
- If you already have a routine you love for slowing down, then find some time in the weeks ahead to enjoy it!

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Watch this beautiful 10 minute video about Slowing Down by Green Renaissance.
Read my blog entry Re-learning How to Slow Down

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The Necessary Practice of Making Space

Wed, 11 Nov 2020 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 8

It doesn't matter how much we understand conceptually about living authentically. If we do not make space in our overcrowded and busy lives to connect with ourselves and work on our interior journey, there will be no transformation in our life.

In this episode, I talk about why it is paramount that we learn how to make space in our lives. I also share about how an awakening to inauthenticity led me to learn this fundamental principle of making space, and how learning it transformed the way my husband and I live our lives and our marriage.

Share this episode via this episode page.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Introduction
(00:01:31) - The Importance of Making Space
(00:10:05) - The Vicious Cycle of Inauthentic Living
(00:12:27) - Story: A Marriage Moves Towards Authenticity
(00:20:55) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
(00:22:36) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today’s episode, what struck you?
- What emotions or thoughts came up in response as you listened?

Ponder.
- How much white space is there in your own life right now?
- Is there a sufficient space for you to breathe in between the things that you have to do?
- Is there a space that allows you to pause and review and recalibrate?
- Is there a space for you to just simply be?

Act.
- In your calendar block out some time within the next week or month and label it “White Space”.
- Resist the urge to make plans for this white space ahead of time and resist the urge to give this block of time away to more productive pursuits.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

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Be Curious, Courageous & Compassionate with Yourself

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 7

Fear can be a powerful prison that keeps us from taking the steps we need to know our True Self and to make the changes we need to heal and flourish. But it is not unbreakable. And part of what helps us to break out of the prison of fear is this trio of virtues - Curiosity, Courage and Compassion.

In this episode, I share about my first significant breakthrough from the fear of self-knowledge and how Curiosity, Courage and Compassion can give us real practical help in our journey to authenticity and wholeness.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:45) - Introduction
(00:02:37) - Story: Entering the Attic of My Soul
(00:09:06) - Curiosity
(00:11:14) - Courage
(00:12:38) - Compassion
(00:16:19) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to today’s episode, what struck you?
- What emotions or thoughts came up in response as you listened?

Ponder.
- Among Curiosity, Courage, and Compassion, which one comes most easily to you?
- Which one do you find the hardest to practice?
- Which one do you think you most need to develop for your interior journey right now?

Act.
- Choose one virtue to grow in for the next month and commit to checking in with yourself daily on how you have fared that day.

For full details of this reflection prompt, please see transcript.

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Listening to Your Life Speak

Wed, 28 Oct 2020 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 6

To live from the inside-out requires us to first understand how to listen to our own lives speak to us. Most of us allow many voices to guide the direction that our lives take except our own inner voice.

In this episode, I share my own story of how I became awakened to the fact that I was not listening to my life speak to me, and the transformation that happened when I began to learn how to listen. In the Praxis section, I share a simple exercise you can begin to use to listen to your own life.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:02:29) - Revelation & Awakening
(00:09:39) - Burnout
(00:15:48) - Meeting My Real Self
(00:18:05) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
Available at the here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to me tell my story in this episode, what struck you?

Ponder.
- Choose one thing that struck you most about my story.
- Can you connect it with something in you own life story?
- What is your soul trying to communicate to you through these emotions?

Act.
- List down the various circumstances that made up that event on the outer rim of the wagon wheel; include reactions and responses of others to you at this level of exterior experiences.
- Express how you feel about what has been revealed during exercise in your journal or through art.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Download Wagon Wheel Reflection Resource
- Parker Palmer. “Let Your Life Speak: Listening to the Voice of Vocation”
- Max Lucado. “Cure for the Common Life: Living in Your Sweet Spot”
- Luke Burgis & Joshua Miller PhD. “Unrepeatable: Cultivating the Unique Calling of Every Person”

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Living from the Inside Out (Part 2/2)

Wed, 21 Oct 2020 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 5

Do you find yourself easily triggered by the events in your life and feeling overwhelmed by the noise of the world?

In last week's episode, I explained with the help of an analogy using the avocado fruit, the three layers of living life.

In today's episode, I'm going to take a closer look at these three layers of living, how they affect one another and what the implications are for our interior journey.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:43) - Recap
(00:01:29) - A Closer Look at the 3 Layers
(00:04:27) - The Wagon Wheel Analogy
(00:07:29) - Signs of Living from the Outside-In
(00:13:54) - Story: Maximilian Kolbe
(00:16:12) - The Process of Integration
(00:17:58) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you listened to the descriptions of living from the outside-in and living from the inside-out, what struck you?
- How did it make you feel?

Ponder.
- Choose one thing that struck you most in this episode.
- Why do you think this point matters to you?
- Can you connect it with your own life experience?

Act.
- Identify something in the outermost layer of your life that is affecting you deeply.
- Allow yourself to listen to what you actually feel about this thing. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel and try and name your emotion.
- In your journal, write this question down, “I wonder why I feel this way?”
- List down whatever might come to mind.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Download Wagon Wheel Reflection Prompt
More about Viktor Frankl and "Man's Search for Meaning"
More about St. Maximilian Kolbe

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Living from the Inside Out (Part 1/2)

Wed, 14 Oct 2020 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 4

Do you ever feel like you are pulled in a million different directions, often running like hamsters on a wheel just trying to keep going without falling? Do you often find yourself feeling stressed and tired and emotionally drained? Or do you experience your life as an integrated, harmonious whole? In this episode and the next, I share with you a fundamental principle of growing in authenticity and wholeness - and that is living from the inside-out, or living from a strong and integrated core.

In this episode I explain the importance of living from our core, identify what our "core" is, and help you understand the importance of engaging, strengthening, and living from that core.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:02:10) - The Pilates Analogy
(00:06:52) - "CORE" Engagement
(00:09:32) - The Avocado Analogy
(00:14:27) - Personal Story Illustration
(00:21:27)- PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
- As you were listening to this episode, was there any part that resonated with you?
- How did you feel as you were listening?
- Can you identify one word or phrase that would describe your feelings as you listened?

Ponder.
- Take note of the word or phrase you chose to name your experience as you listened to this episode.
- Why do you think you feel this way?
- Is there any memory or experience in your own life that comes to mind as you sit with this for a while?

Act.
- If you haven’t already been able to do so, I invite you take a few minutes to try and identify the 3 layers of living in the story I shared in this episode.
- Don’t worry about whether or not you get it correct. The exercise will help you begin to exercise the muscles you need to do this for yourself in your own life.

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YOU Are Worth Becoming

Wed, 07 Oct 2020 02:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 3

In this episode I talk about the challenge of accepting and valuing ourselves as we are. I propose that the way to becoming the best and fullest version of ourselves cannot be found by running away from who we are or by trying to remake ourselves in somebody else’s image. Instead, the path we need to take is to embark on the quest to understand and learn how to thrive with the unique gift that we have been given in each of our personhood.

What if you - in the unique mix of your personality, quirks, talents, interests, life experiences - and even your trials and sufferings - are a gift to this world? What if there is someone who needs you to be who you are? What if YOU are that someone first of all who need your acceptance and love to bloom and flourish? Will you give yourself this chance?

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Introduction
(00:00:38) - Do You See YOU?
(00:03:24) - Ever Wished You Were More Like Someone Else?
(00:07:04) - Do You Believe YOU Are Worth Becoming?
(00:12:39) - PRAXIS: Listen. Ponder. Act.
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Listen.
Recall your emotional responses as you listened to this episode. How did you feel? Was there a particular line, word or section that you felt particularly strongly about?

Ponder.
Choose one reaction you had and start wondering about it. Why do you think you reacted in that way? Can you connect it with some concrete experience or memory in your life? You may wish to find some time in the next couple of days to write or draw in your journal.

Act.
I invite you to consider writing a note or letter to yourself, as an invitation to friendship. Or, if you prefer, to look at yourself in the mirror and say something sincere and affirming. Try and see if you can find one affirming thing to say to yourself which you can truly mean every day.

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How to make the most of Becoming Me

Wed, 07 Oct 2020 01:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 2

Today’s episode continues from the first episode to introduce Becoming Me. Previously, I had shared a little about my own backstory and why I am doing this podcast. In this episode, I’m going to talk a bit about what Becoming Me is and who it is meant for, as well as how you can make the most out of it for your own journey.

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CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Introduction
(00:08:16) - Solitude & Community
(00:12:38) - Conclusion
Available here.

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

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Introduction: Why 'Becoming Me'?

Wed, 07 Oct 2020 00:00:00 +0800

EPISODE 1

In this introductory episode, I share some background about myself and why I am doing this podcast. Becoming Me emerged first and foremost from my own ongoing journey of becoming more and more my True Self.

Listen to how I struggled to have any sense of identity apart from the mirrored perspective of other people's affirmation or criticism of me, and how I realised I needed a fresh start to get to know myself.

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TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

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Trailer

Fri, 25 Sep 2020 15:00:00 +0800

The first few episodes of the Becoming Me Podcast drops on 7 October 2020!

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