In July of 2025, Brian's wife of 45 years died. This loss has brought him into a new, deeper and more complex experience of grief. Christmas 2025 will be the first one in 4 1/2 decades without Diane's presence and participation. 

This episode of The Heart of Grief is the fusing of two episodes from December 2024. Part two of this combo is a focus on spiritual faith in the bereavement journey. This is drawn from Brian's personal Christian faith.

25 Creative Ways of Remembering Loved Ones at Christmas

Managing The Holiday Season

The Heart of Grief.com

Just Be Honest, by Clint Watkins

Sometimes when people are faced with changes or endings in difficult or painful relationships, they wonder why they are feeling badly. Why are they grieving a relationship that was not enjoyable or good for them? 

In this episode, Brian explains the feelings that can often follow the death of someone we call a "Less-than-loved-one." While this can be very confusing for the grieving person, there is a simple explanation for it. We are left with conflicted feelings about many things we wish had been different in the relationship.

Brian explains how the Grief Recovery Method program offers both understanding and a healing process.

The Heart of Grief

The Grief Recovery Institute

Professional grief counselors sometimes refer to the tasks of integrating grief into our lives going forward. The goal is to recognize the changes brought by a loss and incorporating the memories, influence and emotional/spiritual presence of a deceased loved one into our life. This is a right and worthy objective and professional care givers offer many suggestions of what this could include. For many grievers, however, there is a frustrating inability to move into these positive adjustments. Brian explains the common experience of  "unresolved grief," how it prevents healthy integration and how the Grief Recovery® Method process can resolve the barriers that keep us from moving forward.

The Heart of Grief

The Grief Recovery Institute

Following a tragic, traumatic or completely preventable death, a griever's thoughts can  become focused on the cause or circumstances of the loss to the point where they are missing out on a good grieving process for the loss itself.  Recovery from the loss of a loved one calls for attention to the person who has died and to the relationship that has ended. The healing process remains essentially the same regardless of the cause or manner of death. This episode looks at why we suggest  a conscious separation be made between the cause of death and the grieving process for the loss.

The Grief Recovery Institute

The Heart of Grief

The grief of loss happens to all of us. Sometimes that hurt digs in deep and keeps resurfacing. There are a lot of ideas and programs designed to help us find healing. What can we feel confident in to really help? 

That’s what today's episode is about ... Has the Grief Recovery Method®  Program been shown to help? Does it really work? 

Brian reviews the evidence from academic research to convincing anecdotal support. Any way we look at it, this program offers measurable healing from the pain of loss.

A study at Kent State University looked at the program and confirms this conclusion. This study qualified the program to be designated as Evidence-Based. 

Establishing the Evidence: An Evaluation Study on the Effectiveness of The Grief Recovery Method® Program. The project was reported on in two articles Published in 2018 in the American Journal of Health Education.

Kent State Study 1

Kent State Study 2

The Grief Recovery Institute

 In February 2022 Alain Parenteau's wife of 23 years died following a very difficult illness. For Al the addition of a series of other painful losses over a relatively short period of time left him very much aware that he didn’t posses the emotional tools needed to address the accumulated grief. Al’s journey through the Grief Recovery®  program was not an easy one. He had some serious doubts about it but found it to be truly transformative. He moved from “I just can’t do this now” to “Let’s give it another try.” To “How is this supposed to help me!?” to “Wow, this really works!” Now Al wants others to know about the game changing benefits of the program. Whether you've experienced the death of a spouse, a parent, a close friend or any other painful loss, Al's story will encourage you with the hope of a better day and a better way.

The Heart of Grief

The Grief Recovery Institute

Brian examines the idea of finding some meaning out of a difficult loss experience. What is meant by “meaning?” What do people look for in this regard? What do people find? What benefit does discovery or identification of some “meaning” bring to the griever? How does meaning fit into the perspectives of Grief Recovery? Does meaning accomplish resolution of the lingering pain and disappointments that are common following loss? 

G. Davis, Camille B. Wortman, Darrin R. Lehman, Roxane Cohen Silver, C. (2000). SEARCHING FOR MEANING IN LOSS: ARE CLINICAL ASSUMPTIONS CORRECT? Death Studies, 24(6), 497–540. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481180050121471

The Grief Recovery Institute

The Heart of Grief

This is the first in a series of interviews with participants from our grief recovery programs.  In this episode I’m talking with Bob Gaudet, a young man who came to recognize that many of the emotional challenges he was experiencing stemmed from a lost relationship with his long-estranged father, someone whom Bob refers to as a "living less than loved one." 

Bob’s story illustrates that

- Grief is not just about loosing a loved one 

- Men often find it hard to seek help for emotional pain

- Being brave isn't never being scared, it's doing the good thing even when it's scary

- Resolution of relational hurt can result in both emotional and physical health benefits

- Faith and Grief Recovery work hand in hand to accomplish relational healing  

The Grief Recovery Institute  

The Heart of Grief      

Healthy grieving requires that we address difficult emotions head on. 

Following a significant loss, our minds begin to review the relationship or the circumstances of the loss. Our various memories will prompt both enjoyable and distressing feelings. The enjoyable memories may lead to sadness that our loved one is no longer with us, yet the enjoyable memories themselves and the associated feelings are good. But what about the difficult memories and associated distressing feelings? Often, we hear from well-meaning people or think to ourselves “just focus on the happy memories… Just forget those painful ones and stick with the positive.”

But, can we just dismiss them like that? What happens when we attempt to remember only the positive? Is there a better way than the way of cover it up and press it down?

Karla McLaren: The Myth of Negative Emotions                                                                 

Cole James: Free Online Grief Course                                                                             

The Heart of Grief

It’s commonly wondered if men grieve differently than women. I want to explore this with the goal of better understanding the differences and achieving greater success in promoting grief care programs among men.

While men are similarly equipped for emotional awareness and expression as women, recent science has revealed differences in brain function. This, together with well recognized differences in gender socialization,  results in men tending to avoid addressing the deep emotions of loss. Are the differences real game changers? Are men able to do grief as well as ladies? Do men need to process loss differently? Well, it seems there are both "yeses" and "nos" to these questions. Please listen for more of the man-grief story.

Two Minds: The Cognitive Differences Between Men and Women

Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt: Helping a Man Who is Grieving

Herb Knoll: The Widowers Support Network

Men Only Bereavement Facebook Group

Terry Lige: #Men With Hearts

Our previous episode from Jan. 1, 2025 discussed the difficulty some people have with forgiving themselves for things done in the past. This is often connected to a loss either through death or some other ending of a relationship. Principles and steps were provided for finding release from the weight of self-disappointment.
In this Questions of Faith episode, Brian adds insights from a Christian faith perspective. Trusting God's promises in Scripture leads to lasting freedom from personal regrets. "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." Gal. 5:1

Resources from Dr. Everett Worthington
Six Steps to Forgiving Yourself Worksheet:
Six Practical Sections for Becoming a More Forgiving Christian:

The Heart of Grief Website

With this episode coming out on January 1, 2025, I’m thinking about the idea of new beginnings. Today’s topic offers an opportunity to step into something that holds great potential for living healthier and happier lives.

Religion / psychology / science all speak of the importance of forgiveness for personal and relational health. We speak quite a lot about its importance in grief recovery. Forgiveness is a releasing of all anger and bitterness aimed at an offending person. The primary beneficiary is the person doing the forgiving. Emotional heaviness is lifted. New energy for life and living comes through this liberating action. It doesn’t change what happened, but it does release us from the load of negative emotional energy we’ve been carrying.

But what if it’s ourselves that we feel a need to forgive? Is that even possible? 
I’ve had this question come to me on various occasions. Some people have quite a struggle with this. They feel like they’re carrying a burden of things they regret from their past but have no idea how to relieve it. If that’s how you feel, then this episode is for you.

Dr Everett Worthington's Six Steps to Self Forgiveness
The Heart of Grief website
The Grief Recovery Institute

What might the Babylonian exile of the ancient Jewish people around 2600 years ago have to do with carrying the pain of grief during the holidays?

Christmas is a holiday rooted in the Christian faith. How might the spiritual Christmas message and our relationship with God through Jesus connect with our holiday time grief?

Brian sees a connection with both the Hebrew experience and the Christian faith as we enter a holiday season that includes the pain of loss.

This connection does not mean dismissing or minimizing the sorrows of grief with simplistic religious platitudes. Faith is not intended to provide a quick fix for the deep human pain of loss. Rather, God joins us in the midst of our pain. Jesus comes along side in our loss; walking with us in shared grief.

Psalm 137

1 Beside the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept 

as we remembered Zion 

2 We put away our harps, 

hanging them on the branches of poplar trees. 

3 For our captors demanded a song from us. 

Our tormentors insisted on a joyful hymn: 

“Sing us one of those songs of Jerusalem!” 

4 But how can we sing the songs of the Lord

while in a foreign land?

It can be hard to know how to do things at the holidays when walking through difficult loss. Do you keep it as much the same as possible or do you decide to do things very differently? What will you personally take part in? What will you bow out of? How will you explain your feelings? Will you act strong and joyful in an effort not to dampen the happiness of others? Is it better that you’re there or that you stay away? Will there be anyone who will understand, that you’ll be free to share your sadness with?

Is there a way to keep it special even as we grieve?

Brian offers some ideas, drawn primarily from the work of The Grief Recover Institute and their forty plus years of experience working with thousands of grieving people throughout N.A. and internationally. 

25 Creative Ways of Remembering Loved Ones at Christmas
Managing The Holiday Season
The Heart of Grief.com

This is part 2 of my conversation with Clarissa Moll. Clarissa is an award-winning writer and podcaster who helps bereaved people find flourishing after loss. Clarissa’s writing appears in Christianity Today, The Gospel Coalition, RELEVANT, Modern Loss, Grief Digest and more. She co hosted Christianity Today’s “Surprised by Grief” podcast and is a frequent guest on podcasts and radio shows. 

Clarissa’s debut book, Beyond the Darkness: A Gentle Guide for Living with Grief and Thriving After Loss, was a best-selling release in 2022.

Clarissa's new release, Hurt Help Hope: A Real Conversation about Teen Grief  provides the focus for a conversation Brian had with Clarissa in September 2024. This is part two of our conversation. A significant focus is on the importance of establishing an ongoing, supportive relationship with our grieving teens. Clarissa also shares about how difficult faith questions can be embraced and relationship with God can be nurtured.

https://www.clarissamoll.com/ 

Grief is about emotions, a very difficult and complex combination of feelings. In order to work through our losses well, we need to be able to acknowledge and address those feelings. But most of us have trouble dealing with even the more regular emotions of life. Grief can present what seems an almost insurmountable challenge to our hurting hearts. We need to talk about feelings, what they are, what they are for and what we are to do with them. This episode draws on the writings of the Grief Recovery Institute and other authors to break it all down into understandable ideas and doable actions for tackling the emotions of loss head on.

Feeling Wheel
Debra Fileta: Reset
Cole James: Men Have Feelings Too

Clarissa Moll (MA, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School) is an award-winning writer and podcaster who helps bereaved people find flourishing after loss. Clarissa’s writing appears in Christianity Today, The Gospel Coalition, RELEVANT, Modern Loss, Grief Digest and more. She co hosted Christianity Today’s “Surprised by Grief” podcast and is a frequent guest on podcasts and radio shows. 

Clarissa’s debut book, Beyond the Darkness: A Gentle Guide for Living with Grief and Thriving After Loss, was a best-selling release in 2022.

Clarissa's new release, Hurt Help Hope: A Real Conversation about Teen Grief  provides the focus for a conversation Brian had with Clarissa last month. This is part one of our conversation. We'll finish up this informative look at what makes teenage grief worthy of some unique attention in our November 15/24 session.

https://www.clarissamoll.com/ 

The goal of the Grief Recovery Institute is to reach as many people as possible with life changing help for the struggles of loss.  This is about help that makes a difference not just in a current loss but provides tools that equip people well for facing future losses. One key to accomplishing this is to provide correct guidance for children that will prevent them falling into the same unhelpful ideas that so many of us adults grew up with and now need to unlearn. The institute believes the best way to do this is to help parents and other adult care givers teach the children in their circle. The Helping Children With Loss Program has addressed that. Now we can learn tools that will not only help kids today, but for the rest of their lives. 

Today’s program is a re-broadcasting of our Mar 31, 2024 episode, titled Monkey See, Monkey Do. Modeling Grief for Children.

Helping Children with Loss Program
Related Articles:
1. Children and grief: Hope and Healing after Suicide
2. Children and Grief: A Substance Related Death
3. Children and Grief: After Someone Had Died by Suicide
4. Helping Children Cope with Death - Various topics

Is it OK to tell God how we really feel about a loss or other tragedy that rocks our lives? Many Christians feel they need to focus on thoughts of future comfort and messages of God's good promises. Genuine feelings of sorrow and anger can be overlooked or held in painful silence. In this Questions of Faith episode, Brian argues that God invites us to emotional honesty. Lament is a biblical model for honest, healthy expression of pain and complaint to God. Brian draws from the book Just Be Honest by Clint Watkins, who maintains that "We don't need to pretend or be polite with God." Clint describes a way to relate candidly to God in life's hardest moments.
Just Be Honest, by Clint Watkins
Psalms 42 & 43
RESET, by Debra Fileta
The Grief Recovery Institute
The Heart of Grief.com

Familiarity can be beneficial, providing safety, comfort and enjoyment. It can also become detrimental. In this episode Brian explains how a familiarity bias regarding response to loss can lead to narrow thinking that keeps us stuck in our grief and hinders us from considering better ways.  Healthy grieving can involve taking courageous steps into new ideas that while initially uncomfortable, hold promise for genuine heart-healing. Understanding and breaking away from our familiarity biases is vital for long term recovery following loss.

The Decision Lab: The Mere Exposure Effect Explained
The Grief Recovery Institute: Exploring the F Words -3, Familiarity
The Heart of Grief.com

What do apologies have to do with healthy grieving? In our Grief Recovery Method® programs we recognize that recovery from loss involves identifying and bringing completion to unfinished pieces of emotional business in a relationship that has ended. This includes making apologies for things said or done by us, the grieving person, that have resulted in some hurt or disappointment being felt by the person who has died or the other person in an ended relationship. Failing to offer apologies leaves us burdened with negative emotional energy - disappointment, regret, perhaps guilt. It weights us down emotionally and keeps us from finding the peace we desire. In this Questions of Faith episode, Brian explains the power of apology and how God provides a compelling model for us to follow.
email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
The Heart of Grief
The Grief Recovery Institute

CS Lewis commented at the beginning of his popular book A Grief Observed “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid.” Well not only can grief feel like fear, grief can include various actual fears. It’s important to recognize that and to know what to do with it. This episode explains the importance of naming our fears and learning how to keep them from becoming a drain on our emotional health.

Dr. Alan Wolfelt: You Are not Crazy, You are Grieving
The Grief Recovery Institute
The Heart of Grief

We’ve looked at forgiveness from various angles in two of our recent episodes. This Questions Of Faith episode is going to consider that powerful emotional action step with the addition of a faith perspective. The question is, how does biblical teaching impact our understanding and application of forgiveness? Brian offers 4 considerations:
-There is the added relationship with God
-Forgiveness includes bearing the burden of the hurt caused by the other person
-My forgiveness of others is linked to my experience of God's forgiveness
-Is there benefit to the offender brought about by my forgiving them?

The Heart of Grief
The Grief Recovery Institute 

When a loss experience leaves us with a deep hurt caused by someone, it can be hard to let go of the pain. In this episode Brian shares the idea of Compassionate Reappraisal; a way of considering the circumstances of the offending party using Difficult Compassion. Toxic, life-limiting anger and heartache can be released, to allow for the peace that comes through forgiveness.

Dr. Kelly McGonigal: The Healing Power of Difficult Compassion
Compassionate Reappraisal: A 3-Step Exercise
Dr. Everett Worthington: The REACH Model of Forgiveness
The Heart of Grief
The Grief Recovery Institute

A Questions of Faith episode, this is the second part of Brian's interview with colleague, Andy Reeves.  We’re going to continue our conversation about finding God in the midst of suffering, with a particular focus on mental and emotional health issues. Andy shares some practical suggestions for both receiving and giving care and finding meaning.

Joni and Friends Podcast
Logos Live Interview with John Andrew Bryant
The Grief Recovery Institute
The Heart of Grief

The Grief Recovery Handbook calls it one of the most misunderstood ideas in the world. Forgiveness is a concept widely recognized for its power and importance. Unfortunately it is frequently missed out on due to wrong ideas about what it is and what it is intended to do. In this episode, Brian unpacks the misunderstandings and the true intent of forgiveness and invites listeners to embrace the emotional healing it makes possible.

The Grief Recovery Institute
The Heart of Grief
Greater Good Magazine: What is Forgiveness?

In this edition of our Questions of Faith  program, Brian will be sharing part one of two of an interview he had recently with a  professional colleague who has been living for years with chronic, debilitating illness. We’re going to talk about finding God in the midst of suffering. 

Brian interviews a colleague and fellow Grief Recovery Method Specialist®, Trudie Slomp. Trudie is a retired nurse, and a grandmother who felt a desire to help fellow grievers find genuine healing. The Grief Recovery® Personal Program gave Trudie effective steps to experience personal recovery from loss. The Certification Training has provided her with the tools she was seeking in order to provide help for others.  If you feel a desire to help people struggling to overcome the lingering pain of loss, this is an invitation to consider a program proven to achieve lasting recovery.

The Grief Recovery Method Certification Training:
Trudie Slomp, Grief Recovery Specialist:

Maybe you've heard something like "Don't feel bad, God is with you," and though you do believe God is with you, you still felt bad, or even worse somehow. If so, you're not alone, and this episode is for you. How should faith in a God who loves, contribute to my emotional healing? Brian believes that faith should not attempt to dismiss the pain of loss with beliefs about God, but discover practical help for healing by the hand of God.
Websites:
The Heart of Grief
The Grief Recovery Institute
Michael Rose: IamSignificant

Learning how to lose; how can we help our kids learn well? In Dec. 2020 Lorri and Brian recorded a program introducing the topic of children and grief. They shared 7 points on helping grieving children. You may wish to listen to that. In this episode, Brian revisits this topic with special emphasis  on three ways we adults can  model good grieving for the young people in our lives.

Related Articles:
1. Children and grief: Hope and Healing after Suicide
2. Children and Grief: A Substance Related Death
3. Children and Grief: After Someone Had Died by Suicide
4. Helping Children Cope with Death - Various topics

What do children learn about loss? In this episode Brian explains how, for most of us, our early learning has not prepared  us well for handling loss.  The emphasis of our upbringing is on getting and keeping things. As a result, we are poorly equipped emotionally for the many losses that life throws our way. Consistent with our program style, Brian shares from his own life experience. You'll find suggestions on how we can learn to grieve in ways that are more healthy; ways that equip us for moving well through life's changes and endings and into better tomorrows.
The Grief Recovery Institute
Kids and Loss: make sure you're giving them the right information
The Heart of Grief

After more than two years away, The Heart of Grief is back.  As Lorri's new job does not allow her the time needed for the podcast, Brian will be running solo for the foreseeable future.
In this first episode of Season 3, Brian will be addressing the challenges of grief in separation and divorce.
We define grief as "The conflicting emotions caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior."  With that definition, it's easy to understand how separation and divorce is a painful grief event stemming from many inter-connected endings and changes. Brian will share from his own experience and offer principles for better understanding, along with some practical steps for beginning the healing process.

The Heart of Grief
Martin Brother Funeral Chapels
The Grief Recovery Institute
The Lethbridge Family Centre

Sometimes circumstances surrounding a loss can leave us feeling guilty. At least that is the word that comes to mind to describe our feelings. Brian and Lorri talk about why guilt is often not an accurate term for describing our feelings and not a helpful concept for our grief journey. Lorri and Brian explain why this is, and offer alternate language for successful navigation through loss. Lorri illustrates this with a very personal and painful story.
When we identify the correct language for our feelings, we have the basis for bringing resolution to the painful emotions of grief.
-Website: theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute

Someone you care about has experienced a difficult loss. You know you’re going to be seeing them at the funeral or work or church and you don’t have a clue what you’re going to say. We’ve all been faced with situations like this. It can be very stressful. In spite of our perhaps secret wishes to the contrary, we will eventually see them, and we want to act and speak in a way that will be helpful. Brian shares from his own personal struggles with this and suggests that there are ways to approach our bereaved friends in ways that are more likely to be appropriate and express our caring in ways that help.
-Blog: Knowing what to say and what not to say
-The Compassion Code - Laura Jack
-Website: theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute

When someone close to us dies, we grieve. We all understand that. However, we all encounter many other loss events that leave us feeling sad in ways that are like a death. It’s important to acknowledge these losses as bereavement events and to respond to them in accurate, helpful ways. Lorri and Brian discuss some of the more than 40 losses that can come our way and explain why addressing these appropriately is a great gift to ourselves and those we love.

Allison James Blog: Over 40 life events that cause heartache.
Stephen Moeller Blog: With video featuring Cole James and Russell Friedman.
-Website: theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute

This is the first episode of our Second Season for the Heart of Grief.
Most people have heard something about grief as being experienced in a predictable series of stages. At least there is a  theory that this is the case.
Anyone who  has been through an introductory psychology course either in High School or college will be familiar with the acronym  DABDA. This comes from the research work of Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross into our human responses to death and dying. Over a period of time, the suggested stages of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance came to be applied to the experience of grief as well. But is that a fair and accurate understanding? Is it a helpful idea for us when dealing with a difficult loss? In spite of the wide popularity of the idea,  we believe the answer is "no, it is not."  This episode is our explanation of why we and many others, hold that conviction, and why it holds such importance for grieving people.
-Website: theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute
-Debunking-stages-grief
-Stages of Grief, Time for a New Model

In this short, solo re-mix episode, Brian revisits the topic of unresolved grief. When all the normal reactions, activities, ceremonies, responsibilities, and adjustments have taken place following a loss, there is sometimes a deep pain that continues with us. It is important to distinguish between the usual sadness over a loss and this enduring pain. Brian explains how to recognize the difference, and directs listeners toward a helpful response.
 
-How to identify unresolved grief
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-Website: theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute

This program is a re-take of two of our previous episodes dealing with common, yet unhelfpful ideas.
“Be Strong” is a message that calls grievers to somehow deny the normal human feelings of vulnerability, fear and inadequacy at times of difficult loss. Our call is to be more real.
The suggestion "Just Give it time" is normally offered with genuine, good intentions, however, it too is quite unhelpful when experiencing grief. We will offer suggestions on how time may be used in ways that benefit the grieving process. An on-location interview with mechanic and tire expert, Ken Fast provides a light-hearted illustration of our message.

-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3.
-The Grief Recovery Institute:
-The Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation:
-FAST TIRE SERVICE, LETHBRIDGE

This is a remix of an earlier episode about how children deal with loss. We believe that the way we deal with loss as adults is significantly influenced by childhood experiences.  This then becomes the pattern for helping the children in our lives. That makes this topic relevant for all of us, first in understanding our own grief responses, then in how we care for the children near to us. We share some pertinent insights from an article in Social Work Today. Then we offer 7 practical things that we can do to assist the hurting kids we care so deeply about.
 
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-Website: theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute
-How Children Grieve, by Kate Jackson, Social Work Today

This short episode is a re-mix of our previous program on the problem of isolation in grief. We review why grieving alone is such a common occurrance among grievers and recognize how the covid-19 pandemic restrictions have made this even more difficult an issue.  As always, we offer suggestions on how to address this tendency and an invitation to some helpful choices.
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. https://www.mbfunerals.com
-The Grief Recovery Institute: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

This is a re-mixed, shortened edition of our first, full episode. The ongoing and morphing covid-19 restrictions continue to create change and uncertainties, leading to many losses in our lives. Normal, grief responses are to be expected. We examine how many of the typical ways we respond to loss and common messages we receive, are not helpful. We underscore the importance of acknowledging change both as a compounding factor in a bereavement, and a cause of additional grief experiences. “Grief is the wide ranging and often conflicting feelings that result from a change in or end of a familiar pattern of behavior.”  -The Grief Recovery Institue

-website: theheartofgrief.com
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. https://www.mbfunerals.com
-The Grief Recovery Institute: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

Our regular podcasting work has been on a bit of a hiatus for over a month. This has been due to a combination of extra busyness (both Lorri and Brian), a period of emotional and creative fatigue (mostly Brian), and a nasty bout of covid-19 infection, including huge post-infection fatigue (all Lorri).

We love the work we do providing grief recovery programs that bring genuine help to hurting hearts. Our podcast is part of this, and we have a lot more vital content to share with our world.  We published 13 episodes between July and Dec. 2020 as well as 4 bonus, Questions of Faith programs. Beginning Feb. 11th we will be revisiting and re-publishing 5 of our 13 previous episodes. These are either our most listened to shows or ones that we feel are deserving of an extra airing.  We are excited to launch into our new material beginning April 2021.

Grief is made more difficult when other life stresses are added on.  The various challenges created by the covid-19 pandemic have added extra emotional weight to our lives. If you are a caregiver, the load increases as does the potential for significant fatigue. Brian and Lorri share their own “empty tank” stories and encourage listeners to take steps of self-care.

-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute
-Caregiving in the era of covid-19: The Mental Health Commission of Canada

How we view God will affect how our faith affects our experiences of loss. Our last Questions of Faith show was part 2 of an interview that Brian had with Michael Rose. For Mike’s “Something to think about” offering, he invited us to consider a new view of God. In particular, how we view the fundamental nature of God in his approach to mankind. Do we see God as harsh or distant; or some cosmic magician or wish granter? Or, do we see a God near to us, who knows us thoroughly and loves us completely. Brian picks up that invitation for this New Year’s episode and offers some simple faith actions for moving toward a new view and perhaps a new experience of  “The God who loves.”

-Website: www.theheartofgrief.com -email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute
-Michael Rose: I am Significant.ca

With the major winter holiday season upon us, we want to address the challenges of carrying grief at a time when the world’s prevailing sentiments are normally joy and celebration. This is difficult for grievers any year. This year the extra difficulties introduced by the covid-19 pandemic simply add to the losses and multiply the sadness. We recognize this very unusual context the world is in and offer suggestions for finding hope. We are joined by Elizabeth Martin-Jong from Martin Brothers Funeral Chapels in Lethbridge. Elizabeth brings the perspective of a funeral service professional wanting to offer help and hope when all the usual avenues have been prohibited or severely altered. 
We wish our listeners a very peaceful and blessed holiday season and a bright and better 2021.
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-Website: theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute
-The Nikka Yukko Japanese Gardens Winter Light Festival
-The Lethbridge Evangelical Free Church Drive in Live Nativity

In this short, solo episode, Brian explains unresolved grief.
When all the normal reactions, activities, ceremonies, responsibilities, and adjustments have taken place following a loss, there is sometimes a deep pain that continues with us. It is important to distinguish between the usual sadness over a loss and this enduring pain. Brian explains how to recognize the difference and directs listeners toward a helpful response.

-How to identify unresolved grief
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-Website: theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute

This episode is about how children deal with loss. We begin by asserting that children, even the youngest, do experience grief. We share some pertinent insights from an article in Social Work Today. Then we offer 7 practical things that we can do to assist the hurting kids we care so deeply about. As usual, we share from our own stories of loss, and finish with our “something to think about” and “something to do” invitations.

-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-Website: theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute
-How Children Grieve ... by Kate Jackson, Social Work Today

Finding the Love of God, or more to the point, finding the God of love in our most painful and difficult times can be very challenging. Prayers may appear to go unheard and unanswered. Life regrets and hurts can surface, creating an urge for resolution. Forgiveness, though sought after, can be both hard to extend and to receive.

This is part 2 of Brian's interview with spiritual director, Michael Rose.  Michael states as his "one message," that God's intentions toward us and his approach to us is always one of love.  Relationship with the God of Love is the invitation extended to us. Times of deep loss and sorrow create a unique opportunity to discover the divine presence and care.

Michael suggests we may need to consider a new, or revised image of God's nature and character.  Mike's  "something to do" challenge invites us to engage in simple, doable acts of love.

-Website: www.theheartofgrief.com -email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute
-Michael Rose: I am Significant.ca

November 11th is Remembrance Day in Canada, or Armistice Day in Great Britain and other parts of the world. It’s Veteran’s Day in the United States. This Day marks the occasion when WWI officially ended, at the 11th hour on the 11th Day of the 11th month in 1918. Though pinned to the end of conflict of WWI, it is of course a time of remembering and honoring all our veterans, in particular, those who lost their lives in action. There are clear parallels between the observances of Remembrance Day and the work of grief recovery. For Brian there is a personal connection, as his father served in WWII. For all of us there is the important practice of acknowledging significant loss, remembering those who died and taking appropriate steps to incorporate the lessons from both loss and remembering into our present lives. 

Where is God in my pain? My interview with Michael Rose settles firmly on the assertion that God’s fundamental approach to us is of love. How that love is at work and God's exact intentions are not always what we might expect or hope for, but his love is certain.

We take up the 5 most common questions of Faith as presented by Chaplain John Moerman in our first episode, and explore how the God of love works and cares for us even, or perhaps especially, in our darkest and most difficult times. This is part 1 of Brian’s interview with Michael. Part 2 will publish on Nov. 21, 2020.

-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute
-Michael Rose: I am Significant.ca

In our last episode, Brian talked about what are very normal feelings and responses to loss. Our listeners were encouraged to consider that they are normal, not alone and not without hope of feeling better. In this episode, we will be picking up from there, with our own personal stories of grief and the discovery of a method of response that offers genuine help. In addition to Brian and Lorri, we will hear from John W James and Russell Friedman, the principal voices of the Grief Recovery® Method. We’ll finish up with some very particular direction on how listeners can connect with us, and with the programs of the Grief Recovery® Institute.
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute 

Over our past 7 episodes, we have focused on what we refer to as the top 6 most unhelpful ideas about dealing with loss. We did this because we wanted to acknowledge the most common and universal ways that we have been socialized to manage grief, and to expose the inherent failure of these approaches to bring about the emotional resolution we’re looking for.
Of course, after hearing a series of messages on what doesn’t work well, it’s only natural to be waiting for some messaging about what does. We have inserted pieces of how we can do better into each of our previous episodes. We’ve referred to the Grief Recovery Method® program that we facilitate and to the  Grief Recovery Institute®. We would like to focus our next couple of programs on providing more details on the Grief Recovery® Method, the various formats it's available in, and how they can be accessed.
In this episode we'll be looking at what is normal grief experience and how this knowledge is important to better self-help.
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. Ph 403-328-2361
-The Grief Recovery Institute 

When loss has left us with lingering pain or regret, a common response is to engage in some distracting activity. We call these activities Short Term Energy Relieving Behaviors. Lorri and Brian explain why we have this tendency and why STERBs only prolong the pain of grief.
When we recognize that STERBs provide only an illusion of benefit, we can choose to take a path toward long term healing.

-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3.
-The Grief Recovery Institute 

Last in our Top 6 Most Unhelpful Ideas for Dealing with Loss, we're talking about the almost universal response of getting and staying busy. There are, without doubt, some genuinely helpful outcomes from keeping our energies focused on activity. What we want to bring attention to is the problem of busyness taking the place of the inner work of grief, which is addressing the unfinished emotional matters commonly associated with significant loss. When this happens, keeping busy becomes a mere distraction that has no long term benefit for the hurting heart. 

When we recognize the danger of busyness becoming an impediment to addressing the essential, emotional matters of grief, we provide ourselves opportunity to begin the journey toward resolution and peace.
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3.
-The Grief Recovery Institute: 

In this first, full, Questions of Faith edition of The Heart of Grief, Brian interviews Chaplain John Moreman from the Chinook Regional Hospital in Lethbridge Alberta. John shares five of the most often asked questions that have come to him over his more than 20 years of Chaplaincy work.
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3.
-The Grief Recovery Institute: 

“Be Strong” is a message that calls grievers to somehow deny the normal human feelings of vulnerability, fear and inadequacy at times of difficult loss. We will examine the unhelpful view of strength behind this idea and explain why it is not beneficial in loss, nor true to our humanity.
Proposition: By giving due recognition and attention to our human frailties, we are able to leave behind unhelpful concepts of strength and find the freedom to grieve in a more human and healing way.
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3.
-The Grief Recovery Institute:
-The Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation: 

We will be talking about the 4th of our Top 6 Most Unhelpful ideas about grief list, "Just Give it time" or "Time heals all wounds." Though this may be the most common suggestion given to grievers, and is normally given with genuine, good intentions, it may also be the most unhelpful. We will explain why this is; what time is not good for and what it is good for. We will offer suggestions on how time may be used in ways that benefit the grieving process. An on-location interview with mechanic and tire expert, Ken Fast provides a light-hearted illustration of our message.
FAST TIRE SERVICE, LETHBRIDGE
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. https://www.mbfunerals.com
-The Grief Recovery Institute: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

We will be focusing on one more of the top 6, most unhelpful ways to deal with grief, replacing the loss. We'll examine the common tendency to avoid dealing directly with the very difficult emotions of loss by redirecting our attention to substitute things, people or activities.
By avoiding the temptation to choose distracting substitutes at times of loss, we give ourselves the opportunity to honor each loss with healthy grieving.
Replace the Loss: John W. James, The Grief Recovery Institute
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. https://www.mbfunerals.com
-The Grief Recovery Institute: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

We believe that people have a spiritual nature. Our spiritual side is both affected by loss, and an important factor in how we deal with loss. In episode Zero, Brian will be providing a brief rationale for our periodic, Questions of Faith sessions. A general outline of what can be expected will be provided. Brian comes from a Christian perspective and will approach this topic from that point of view. Questions of Faith episodes are planned for publication on the 31st of months that have them.
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. https://www.mbfunerals.com
-The Grief Recovery Institute: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

In this episode we want to examine a very common response to a loss, choosing to grieve alone. We’ll talk about why this is so common and why it is not helpful. According to our program design, we will offer some practical ideas on how to move out of isolation into community. We will discuss the added difficulties presented by the covid-19 pandemic. We feature an interview with Chris Jong from Martin Brothers Funeral Chapels in Lethbridge Alberta, discussing responses and provisions for funerals and memorial gatherings under covid-19 restrictions.
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. https://www.mbfunerals.com
-The Grief Recovery Institute: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

In this, our first, full episode, we will discuss the grief that results from changes and endings of various kinds. The covid-19 restrictions, concerns and uncertainties have created many losses in our lives that we would do well to recognize as grief events. Normal, grief responses should be expected. We examine how many of the typical ways we respond to loss and common messages we receive, are not helpful. We underscore the importance of acknowledging change both as a compounding factor in a bereavement, and a cause of additional grief experiences. Working Defn. “Grief is the wide ranging and often conflicting feelings that result from a change in or end of a familiar pattern of behavior.”

-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3. https://www.mbfunerals.com
-The Grief Recovery Institute: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/

Episode Zero is an introduction to our new podcast, The Heart of Grief. Lorri Penner and I, Brian Magee, are recovering grievers and active Certified Grief Recovery Specialists®  We are educators, not therapists or psychologists. We are journeyed guides who walk the path of recovery through a method that truly makes a difference to hurting hearts. We invite you to  join us. We will endeavor to publish new episodes on the 1st, 11th and 21st of each month and on the 31st of months that have them. We welcome listener feedback to:
-email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com
-paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funeral Chapels 610 4 St S Lethbridge AB Canada T1J 4P3.
-The Grief Recovery Institute: